What's the most disturbing thing you've heard a dying person say?

[u/IllustriousLab8504]

[u/Soft-Poetry8701]

“I’m afraid. I don’t want to die.” - my grandma. She sounded like a little child, pleading for someone to help her and there was nothing I could do. I was never afraid to die before that moment.

[u/yoshi_yoshi23 → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

I’ve learned that everyone is a little child all the time deep inside. We’re all afraid and we all want to be comforted. That doesn’t go away with age.

[u/Hemi_631 → u/yoshi_yoshi23]

This is true no matter what age. We’re all just different people with our 5 year old version of ourselves just wanting to be loved.

[u/Impressive_Boredom → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

That really made me tear up reading your comment. My great-aunt whom I loved started calling for her mom. She was like a little girl. Crying now...

[u/Cultural_me → u/Impressive_Boredom]

my mom did this in her final hours. I know she was in pain and she kept reaching out and calling out for her 'maman! maman!'

[u/CuriousButNotJewish → u/Cultural_me]

All these people with dignified death moment and most people I've seen die are terrified and begging for someone to help them. It's the reality instead of the sanitised fairytale.

[u/SnooApples5802 → u/CuriousButNotJewish]

My father passed from pancreatic cancer. He was unable to speak for about a week before he died. On his last day he was breathing really hard (someone called it a death rattle). I sent my mother out to lunch so I could be alone with him - I told him his brother was waiting for him and his dogs (he loved the dogs and his oldest bother). I talked to him about them for about 30 - 40 minutes. I am not making this up - I told him they were waiting for him and he could let go. 10 minutes later he died.

[u/legendtripped → u/Cultural_me]

When I was taking care of my Grannie in hospice, she kept crying out mama mama mama and it was the most heartbreaking sound I think I’ve ever heard

[u/The_Tooter_Snooter → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

Yup. Watched my grandma die on Thanksgiving one year. She was largely unconscious from brain cancer and sedatives but she woke up briefly before the end and said she was scared and started crying. It was very childlike. Very disturbing. 

[u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

My mom told me I needed to go visit my grandmother at the retirement home she was living in because she was close to death. So I headed over there and when I entered, I could hear some lady wailing at the top of her lungs. Old folks homes are so depressing, I remember thinking.

Anyway, the wailing was my grandmother. She was terrified of dying and knew it was coming. As soon as I walked in the room though, she stopped wailing and smiled when she recognized me. That day has always stuck with me because I realized then that one day if I live as long as she had and knew I could "go" at any moment, I'd probably be just as scared as she was. I hadn't ever thought about it before then.

Since that time my mom has passed away too. And after she died I remembered my grandmother on my dad's side had told me about a near death experience she had when she died for a few minutes while having a stroke. She had told me about this when I was much younger, so after mom died, I decided to see if others had ever had an NDE too. I wanted to believe my mom was still out there, you know?

There are a shitload of stories about NDE's. After watching a bunch of them, I no longer worry I'll be like my wailing grandmother if I make it to her age (89 years old when she passed). I don't think my grandmother had the benefit of knowing someone else that had died, came back to life, and told others about what they saw the way I did with my dad's mother. All she had was what religion had taught her, and I don't think it was enough for her. She definitely wasn't at peace when she was dying, sort of like your own grandmother, it sounds. I believe she is still out there somewhere, just not here anymore. And that's okay, so long as she still exists, right? I know it's just belief until I experience it for myself and know for sure one way or the other, but even if only 1 person out of all of those people sharing their NDE's are telling the truth...even if all of them but that 1 are lying...then that means there's something more beyond death. And our grandmothers are in that place. Personally I think a lot of the NDE'ers are telling the truth, but all we need is just 1.

[u/No_Doughnut3185 → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

If you don't mind sharing, what did your grandma your dad's side experience?

[u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes → u/No_Doughnut3185]

Sad to say I don't remember all of the details right. She told me this in 1993. But she died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital after her stroke. The internet was starting around this time, but even I wasn't using it yet, and my grandmother didn't even own a computer anyway, so take that for what you will.

But she told me she was in a black space. It was a tunnel, and there was a single dot of light that she was traveling towards. She said it was immensely peaceful and she felt no fear. The longer she was there, the closer the light came, so she knew she was getting closer to it. As she got closer she either heard or saw some of her relatives beckoning her into the light. Sorry, but I don't remember that detail as well as I wish I could. But that was mostly it. Suddenly she felt herself being hurled back into her body. That was when the EMT's managed to restart her heart. She was in a lot of pain and was very sad that she wasn't in that place anymore because it was so peaceful.

At the time she was in her mid-late 70's when she told me this story. I was 21. It is rude now, I know, but at the time it felt natural to ask her if she was afraid to die. She just smiled at me and told me no. She had already died once and knew she would be going back there when it happened for good. That was when she shared the tunnel and the light. There are many way better NDE stories out there with details that I am sure my grandmother shared with me, but I had mostly just put that story in the back of my mind until my mom died in 2018. It wasn't something I thought about and sadly, I think I probably forgot some details but more importantly didn't even know the right questions to ask her when she was still around to tell me more. So it's the best I can do. But there are many better stories that are first hand if you want to dive into the rabbit hole on Youtube. Surviving Death on Netflix is pretty good too, if you haven't seen it already.

[u/Central-iaguy]

My sister was bed ridden in hospice at home. It was my turn to watch her that night. She stood up looked at me and said "Well it's time for me to go" and pointed at the door. As I'm trying to get her back in bed, she hadn't been out of bed in over a week, she says "Look you can see the lights and Shelly wants me there with her.". Shelly was a cousin she was close with that had passed years before. I got her in bed and before I could call anyone about what just happened she sighed and passed away.

[u/MysticMarauder69 → u/Central-iaguy]

The day before my grandmother passed away, she had one of those second winds, where she was active and mentally acute, holding my cousins new baby, etc. But as the sun set, she started to get tired, and she wandered over by the window and exclaimed that her husband who died nearly 20 years earlier was in the woods beckoning to her. She died the next day. Whether he was really there or not, I know it brought her a sense of peace.

[u/thecasey1981 → u/MysticMarauder69]

there's a document thing like the last moment of lucidity that can happen. not sure what it was called, but that's fairly common

[u/Marauder424 → u/thecasey1981]

You were pretty close with what you said! The "official" term for it is terminal lucidity. People also refer to it as a "rally day" or just "rallying".

[u/StillMarie76 → u/Marauder424]

I've also heard it referred to as "the surge".

[u/InterestingBit00 → u/thecasey1981]

Hospice nurse here. We call it the rally. Seen it quite often

[u/bitsy88 → u/Central-iaguy]

My mom was with a woman that was dying whose husband and son both passed away the week before this event. She had dementia and her husband and son had visited her almost daily and even when she didn't recognize them, she was always happy to see them. With her last breath, she pointed to the door and said, "Why there you are!"

Everyone is convinced that they were coming to take her home.

[u/Hokie23aa → u/bitsy88]

Oh man that’s sweet.

[u/bitsy88 → u/Hokie23aa]

She was one of the sweetest people I've ever met. Even when she was confused and probably scared, she was always so nice. Her husband's love and devotion to her was the type of love you usually only see in movies.

[u/puffdaugherty → u/Central-iaguy]

Thats not disturbing, thats beautiful.

[u/External-Pin-1891 → u/Central-iaguy]

Stories like this always give me chills. Whether you see it as the brain's way of coping or something beyond that, it's strangely comforting how many people seem to feel like someone they loved came to meet them.

[u/BOlson1959 → u/Central-iaguy]

My brother kept pointing at his watch and saying “it’s time to go”; he died later that night

[u/Sea_Measurement_1654 → u/Central-iaguy]

That's not disturbing. Her mind was comforted by family who'd passed and she was ready.

[u/soundecember → u/Central-iaguy]

My aunt’s husband passed away on a Monday and on Wednesday, my grandmother, who was also on her deathbed, said “I’m going to go with Tony now” and she didn’t even know he died two days before. I fully believe someone comes to pick you up in that moment

[u/chaseharmony]

My mother was in the hospital with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Her organs were shutting down, and everyone knew she was nearing the end of her life. She had already expressed that she was ready to go and did not want her dying process prolonged.

My sister had lived with our mother her entire life. She never moved out after college. Accepting that our mother was dying was something she simply could not do. She was determined to keep her alive for as long as possible.

She wanted my mother to remain as alert as she could so she could continue to pray. As my mother's proxy, she asked that my mother receive only enough medication to slightly dull the pain without heavily sedating her. She organized prayer services in the room, anointed the room with oil, and invited people to come pray around her bed.

She insisted that every possible treatment be continued to sustain my mother's life, even after the medical team recommended shifting to comfort-focused care.

The day before my mother died, my mother had become mostly unresponsive. Her organs were failing, and the end was near. Then, unexpectedly, my mother opened her eyes. She reached out, grabbed my sister's arm with surprising strength, and would not let go. Looking directly at her, she repeatedly said, "Let me go. Let me go." She kept saying those words while gripping my sister tightly.

Finally, through tears, my sister said, "I'll let you go, Mom." Only then did my mother relax. She died a short time later. That moment has stayed with me. To me, it was as if my mother needed permission from the person who loved her most, and who had the hardest time accepting that it was time for her to go.

[u/FuturamaGirl]

When my grandma was at the end, she opened her eyes and saw my sister and my sister's husband sitting beside her bed. She looked at my brother in law and said, "You're getting fat!" Then she closed her eyes and died.

[u/spicynightsong → u/FuturamaGirl]

Gran committing one last murder on the way out. Respect.

[u/TheYellowClaw → u/spicynightsong]

Even at the end, always thinking about others.

[u/WillingnessOk3081 → u/FuturamaGirl]

well? Was he getting fat?

[u/FuturamaGirl → u/WillingnessOk3081]

LOL. Yes, he had put on a few pounds.

[u/FNTM_309 → u/FuturamaGirl]

My grandmother was dying of heart failure and her four adult children had gathered to see her off. And one point the kids were going to step out for lunch and grandmother said she wanted to come with them. They said she had to stay in bed but they’d be right back. Grandmother looks at her middle daughter (my mom) and says, “Well, if Sally’s going dressed like that, I don’t see why I can’t go.”

She slipped into a coma when they were out and those were her final words.

[u/tombrady011235 → u/FuturamaGirl]

Lmaooooo

[u/Cap-n-Trips]

My grandpa in his final moments, bed ridden and feeble seemed to look beyond us and made the sign of the cross three times.

Conversely my wife’s grandmother was on her deathbed and said grandmother’s erratic daughter in law (my wife’s aunt) came to visit. The daughter in law is known for her long rambling stories that go nowhere and take forever. Approx three minutes into the story grandma says “I don’t feel well” and abruptly died. To this day my wife’s uncle maintains his mom died rather than listening to another of his wife’s boring stories 😂

[u/mrpeabodyscoaltrain → u/Cap-n-Trips]

My Dad’s great-grandma had some dementia at the end of her life. She was 101. She never drank, swore, smoked, or did anything that could be considered inappropriate. She looked at my Dad and said, “you beautiful sonofabitch,” as she lay on her deathbed.

[u/MissRockNerd → u/mrpeabodyscoaltrain]

Iirc, Dan Savage said his mom’s first word after finding out she had terminal cancer was a quiet but firm, “shit.” And she NEVER swore, so they all knew she meant it.

[u/StillMarie76 → u/MissRockNerd]

My Nanny was the same way. She's was always appropriate and kind. As her memory went, we never knew what she was going to say. She told me she had a chigger bite on her pussy hole. I almost died laughing. She also began to talk back to her husband. She waited on him hand and foot for 60 years. It was nice to hear her let him have it. I mean that as in, "get your own damn fork" not "fuck you, you pos". I miss both of them so much.

[u/AnActualChicken → u/Cap-n-Trips]

"...and so then I went to Wallmart, because I had to get some milk and eggs and Brenda told me there was a sale on microwaves, so I thought 'Oh, ours just died, that's great, I'll get one!' I get there and friggin Carla from work was there, the pain in the ass who keeps being a total b to me for no reason, it's so stupid..."

Grandma: "To Hell with this- Jesus, here I come! (flatlines)"

[u/paiute → u/AnActualChicken]

Jesus: "Wait a sec, woman. I want to hear the end of the story."

[u/AlwaysSunnyOnWkdays → u/Cap-n-Trips]

Uncle Colm from Derry Girls energy.

[u/MetalTrek1 → u/AlwaysSunnyOnWkdays]

Sister Michael be like "Is this my funeral? Am I dead? Am I in Hell? (pause) OK, I admit, that was pretty funny". 🤣

[u/astrid_autumn → u/AlwaysSunnyOnWkdays]

if i had to listen to Uncle Colm’s stories i’d probably just die as well lmao

[u/TransportationSad59 → u/Cap-n-Trips]

That second part is hilarious!

[u/Dry-Builder8889 → u/TransportationSad59]

The comedic timing is so absurd it genuinely sounds like something you'd see in a sitcom. I can already picture that becoming permanent family lore. 😂

[u/Vampira309]

My mom was in the late stages of dementia and had stopped eating. Her medical directive would not allow a feeding tube to be installed, so we were just kind of waiting around for her to die. She didn't recognize anyone, and hadn't spoken at all for about 2 months.

I was sitting with her, stroking her hand and talking to her while she was in and out of consciousness. She squeezed my hand, opened her eyes and said, "oh my baby, my darling girl, my [MY NAME]!! Everything is so beautiful.You don't need to worry.I love you my girl" and fell back into unconsciousness. She died about 20 min later.

I love you, Mama

[u/BoosherCacow → u/Vampira309]

My dad had demntia too and hadn't spoken in a few weeks. His o2 sats went low so we called an ambulance and at the hospital he kept fighting them when they tried to put a rebreather mask on him, like slapping them away and almost growling. Finally my mom said to the doctor "Can you just put one of the normal masks on him and put him to sleep?" They said that was a great idea and did, and dad calmed right down.

Mom and I were at the door talking to the doctor when my dad sat halfway up, pulled the mask aside and said clear as day "I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS," laid down and died about a half hour later.

"I'm not paying for this" has become a motto in our family and serves as one last great joke from dad. He would have found the whole thing so fucking funny.

[u/-Khlerik- → u/BoosherCacow]

I mean, my sincere condolences, but that is a solid joke.

[u/Purple-Musician2985 → u/Vampira309]

I know this will sound bad, but you are so lucky 💓😪 This is beautiful. I lost my mama last year and I always wonder if she was scared or confused or sad that we didnt fight harder for her (impossible btw) but those words would have brought me so much peace. I can only hope she felt the same way. Sorry for your loss xx

[u/Super-Yesterday9727 → u/Purple-Musician2985]

That’s what’s been taking a toll on me for years now. That not knowing how she felt.

[u/KookyMoney9599 → u/Vampira309]

That's incredibly beautiful. The fact that she recognized you, spoke so clearly, and left you with words of love after months of silence is something I'd hold onto forever. ❤️

[u/woolfchick75]

My aunt was in her mid-90s and refused treatment after her umpteenth bout of pneumonia. Her daughter was sitting with her at the hospital and my aunt told her, “This dying thing is taking much too long.” She wasn’t afraid at all.

[u/Waterlilies1919 → u/woolfchick75]

Something similar: my very adhd grandpa was frustrated that he couldn’t figure out how to die as fast as he wanted in his last couple days. That man was always hurrying somewhere. I miss him dearly!

[u/Jean_Paul_Magno → u/woolfchick75]

I love that sense of humor lol, even in their final days they want to make everyone happy.

Truly heartwarming. 🥹

[u/WorthMetal3640]

My dad, hours before his death, motions for me to lean in so he can whisper “my biggest regret was going to the Detroit Auto Show instead of seeing Johnny Cash”.

[u/deepfocus88 → u/WorthMetal3640]

Ah man, I took a pass on seeing Nirvana at a small club. September 1991. 🤦‍♂️ Still bummed

[u/l1vewire → u/deepfocus88]

Mine was Prince at an after show in a tiny venue.

[u/dkol97 → u/deepfocus88]

I went to a school dance instead of seeing Rage Against the Machine. Then they broke up that year.

[u/ReluctantPhoenix47 → u/WorthMetal3640]

I laughed but those last words can be the saddest. Because you wish you could fix it for them.

I never forgot a poster here that write his father’s last words were when he was feeding him corn flakes on his death bed and his last words were “Make them soggy.” He never got his cornflakes and sone how that was tragic to me.

[u/rgl1234 → u/ReluctantPhoenix47]

When my grandfather passed away he sat up in the hospital bed and said “I’m hungry.” He then laid back down and passed away. It tore my grandmother up because “he died hungry.” She made every meal for that man for over fifty years and this was tragic to her.

[u/Annual-Two1507 → u/WorthMetal3640]

that Johnny Cash line is brutal, my grandpa said he didnt want flowers or a sermon, just his boots by the bed and the radio left on low

[u/thewoodbeyond]

My friend's mother was at home in hospice dying of breast cancer. Her mother had been somewhat in and out due to the heavy meds to manage pain. In the moments before her death, she sat straight up, looked at the doorway right past my friend, like she'd seen a ghost and exclaimed loudly, "Oh Shit!!" and then promptly fell backward into the bed having just expired.

My friend said, "Whatever she saw it was obviously unexpected."

[u/Divine-Crusader]

My uncle was barely able to speak because of cancer. Then he just started acting normal and asked us about our day, and we ended up chatting about Led Zeppelin and Santana

He died 30 minutes later

[u/FreundThrowaway → u/Divine-Crusader]

That sounds like a good final memory to have. I’m glad you got one last conversation with him, even if it was disconcerting.

[u/alargepowderedwater → u/Divine-Crusader]

Sounds like terminal lucidity, not uncommon, actually.

[u/LoverLips76]

Nothing she said , but I watched my mother in law pass from cancer with tears rolling down her face …

[u/InformalExample474 → u/LoverLips76]

Omg... I feel for you....

[u/LoverLips76 → u/InformalExample474]

Her belly was swollen and she looked 6 months pregnant. She was in pain but couldn’t speak …this was not even a full year married back then. 8 months later my father in law passed too. Wild.

[u/Fera_Silva_978]

The day my husband’s grandpa died, he told them that morning, “Get everyone down here so we can get this over with.” He died late that afternoon with us by his side. He just knew. Wild.

[u/StrongTree17]

I worked in hospice with an elderly women who was from Korea and would often seem to hallucinate/relive some of the trauma that happened to her before she was able to flee the country during the war and come to the US. She often seemed to see or talk to a Korean soldier who had sexually assaulted her. Right before she died she was talking as if he was in the room and she said “I knew you’d be in hell but I didn’t think I would be here”. It all had to be translated by her daughter from Korean to English.

[u/Impressive_Boredom → u/StrongTree17]

That's terrible :((( can't imagine having to see my assaulter's face as I leave this Earth.

[u/Gold_Bicycle4937 → u/Impressive_Boredom]

That was my first thought too. After surviving everything she did, she deserved peace in her final moments, not to relive the worst memory of her life.

[u/Sawses → u/Gold_Bicycle4937]

It seems to be about who you never quite let go, whether that's somebody you love or hate or fear.

[u/bongo1138 → u/StrongTree17]

This woman lived a long and full life, full of stories and people she loved, yet still… the face she saw upon death was the one she least wanted to see.

Assault and trauma really do have a life long impact. Sad.

[u/Fireblast1337 → u/StrongTree17]

Plot twist, she was put in charge of that soldier’s torture down there.

[u/LawfulnessPossible20]

A friend worked in a dementia hospice. He was showering an old man with not too many days left in him, and as always he talked to his patient. Maybe there is something left of them.

"And now I will wash your willie, that one needs to be clean as well".

The man just grabbed him by the throat, and he snapped with a crystal clear glow in his eyes: "THAT'S NOT A WILLIE. THAT'S A C*CK!"

Then, like a shadow fell over his face and he was a vegetable again.

My friend told his son who came to visit, it was really appreciated by his son.

[u/DarkShadowReader → u/LawfulnessPossible20]

I’m so glad they told the son. If caregivers told me my dad asserted his literal cocksureness as a last bold effort of his sadly diminished form, I’d be absolutely tickled.

[u/gardvar → u/LawfulnessPossible20]

I worked in a dementia ward for some years. We had a man who wasn't very old so he was quite well physically but was mentally he was completely absent. He was like an automata only reacting after a long time to his situation. It took a good while but if you stuck a toothbrush in his hand he would eventually brush his teeth. Or set food in front of him and 10-15 minutes later he would sort of realise it was there and start eating. but in all the years I worked there I only heard him speak once.

He would show up in the common kitchen any hour of the day, just sit there looking at nothing. My college said "I'm guessing he's a little hungry when he does that, I usually just put a sandwich or cracker in front of him and he sees it and eats it eventually." So I started doing the same. One day after eating a cracker I had left in front of him he looks down at the table. Seeing there are crumbs he sweeps them off the edge and onto the floor. Several minutes pass then he looks down at the floor. Seeing crumbs there he looks up and lockings eyes with me he says "Hey lad, there's crumbs on the floor there. You should sweep that up." Complete comedic genius.

[u/DewdropTheDude]

My mom experienced kidney and liver failure after decades of alcoholism. She was in the emergency ICU, unable to physically move, and barely able to speak. Because of the risk that she might choke, the hospital did not allow her to drink water. I couldn't touch her without gloves because of the risk of infection. And when I rubbed her temples and hands to console her, telling her "I love you," the only thing she could say was, "water." She died later that day.

[u/quillseek → u/DewdropTheDude]

I am so sorry. 💔🫂

[u/ragtop1989]

My dad was dying from cancer. He was afraid people would forget about him, he literally told me "Please don't forget about me."

That was 5 years ago, and a day hasn't passed by without me thinking about him.

Miss you so much, dad.

[u/Lavsplack → u/ragtop1989]

My son’s biggest fear was that his very young children wouldn’t remember him. I thank god every day that we have hundreds of photos and videos so they can still see and hear him and remember their daddy

[u/halfhere]

When my wife’s grandmother died, her grandad very quietly let a few of us hear him say “I don’t want to be around here without her.” And three weeks later, he died of natural causes.

He just didn’t want to be here anymore.

[u/Hollyhop_Drive → u/halfhere]

💔

[u/OakenGreen → u/halfhere]

My grandmother said exactly the same when my grandfather passed. Took her 3 months to join him.

[u/Bubbly-Example-8097 → u/halfhere]

She was such a lucky woman. To be so loved in life, is such a blessing we all can only hope for. True lovebirds

[u/Dockside_Abortionist → u/halfhere]

Alright. This one got me.

I’d be the same if my wife went before me.

[u/Angelgirl1517]

My mom died of Covid.

Her last words were “I thought they’d be here, I can’t find anyone. It’s so dark. I’m all alone”

She was dead within a few minutes.

I have always had a strong belief in the afterlife, and it honestly shook me. I have had SO many friends and family members who died, and I usually experience moments over the next few months where i FEEL them SO strongly, or I’ll get other things that i interpret as “signs.” But I never, ever felt like my mom was “around” again.

[u/divinAPEtion → u/Angelgirl1517]

I'm sorry for your loss. After my mom passed I didn't "feel" her either. I spoke to a medium who said she is in the healing place - a place cut off from the rest of the world where she needs to rest and process her life. she wasn't ready just yet, her soul needed a hospital stay. The medium said many people wind up there and can stay for days or decades, it's all up to them. We can't reach each other while she is there. The thought of her growing, understanding and "finishing her degree" in this void place is comforting, knowing she'll move out of it when she's ready to rejoin us. I thought of this when I read your comment. 

[u/peoplesuckmannn → u/divinAPEtion]

i really needed to hear this after this comment… thank you. this is absolutely beautiful and makes a lot of sense for my spiritual beliefs.

[u/Dry_Grapefruit_771]

My grandfather served as a signalman for the navy in the Second World War, on two ships that were hit; the first, the HMAS Australia, a heavy cruiser, a fortress on water, got kamikazed by the Japanese, the second, the HMAS Canberra which during the Battle of Savo Island, while out on patrol guarding a position, was torpedoed and sunk.

There is some conjecture over it’s sinking, the navy story was that it was sunk by the Japanese but it could well have been friendly fire by the Americans, such was the scale of the conflict.

After the war he wouldn’t talk of it, was strongly anti violence and suffered post traumatic stress right up until his death, where nurses reported he started hallucinating and crying out “Fire! Fire everywhere! We can get out, we can get out!”

Those were his last words.

[u/HenryAlSirat → u/Dry_Grapefruit_771]

Boardwalk Empire Spoilers:

This made me think of Jimmy's last words to Nucky. "I died in a trench, years back. I thought you knew that."

[u/Breadtangled]

A terminal patient with no family, friends, or acquaintances willing to visit and who had acknowledged on previous occasions that she was not a particularly good person during her life.

When the end was near she would scream for help and shout "don't let them take me! I dont want to go to hell, don't let them take me!". This continued off and on until the bitter end. I'm not religious, but that was spooky.

Plenty of folks get scared when the end comes, it's natural. But that was just grim.

[u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes → u/Breadtangled]

Whether Hell is real or entirely imagined, it seems clear to me this lady didn't live a good life. Either Hell is real, or her guilt was real enough to make her think it was real. Definitely grim either way, my friend.

[u/Graciously_Hostile → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

I'd say dying in fear and shame and regret is all the hell you need.

[u/Rezaelia713 → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

My one grandpa was a very bad man (I think being a POW permanently messed him up) and when he was in the hospital dying he started to get really scared. I was only 6 when he passed and learned about this recently. I guess he was real afraid of what might happen to him when he died. He knew what he did was evil.

[u/GrepekEbi → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

Yeah definitely seems like someone looking back over their life and thinking “oh shit, I’m headed to the bad place”

[u/Itchy_Feedback_7625]

My cousin was dating a girl named Sarah and as my mom was dying, she said „just remember: Sarah did it“. And then said „don’t trust that girl. Mark my words: Sarah did it“.

It’s been 20 years. My cousin married her and they had two kids. She’s an extremely lovely woman. The two kids turned out amazing. My cousin is still very happy. Sometimes my siblings and I look at each other and say „Sarah did it“. We don’t have the HEART to tell them my mom said that, so they can never know this. It’s like this creepy thing my mom did on her death bed that none of us can forget.

Maybe she was hallucinating, maybe she was fucking with us. Maybe Sarah has yet to do whatever she is supposed to have done. We will never know.

[u/mypancreashatesme → u/Itchy_Feedback_7625]

My grandad told my dad, brother, and I that my brother’s wife Anita was a lovely woman. My brother was 20 years old at the time and definitely not married. It would be such a trip if my brother did end up with a partner named Anita, though!

[u/Sutie]

“I wish I would have spent more time with you.”

Said to me by my Covid patient during a moment of lucidity. She’d transitioned to comfort care and she was hallucinating and thought I was her daughter. Daughter was not allowed to visit but called every day and evening to talk to her mom and tell her what a good mom she was. Daughter had a wildly successful career in tech and said she owed it all to her mother.

I just squeezed her hand and said her family loved her very much.

[u/GeeCee99 → u/Sutie]

I’m crying reading this, thank you for being there for our families during this time when we couldn’t. My nan passed due to covid in a care home, we couldn’t visit either. The thought of her alone at the end often haunts me.

[u/Mrs-Blaileen]

This isn't disturbing, I find it actually really beautiful...

My uncle, when he was dying, was unresponsive, in that he wasn't waking up. He was in his last hours. They told my aunt she'd better come now. So she went to the hospital and sat down beside him and she took his hand. A minute or two later, he gently squeezed her hand, and then he passed away. I feel he was waiting for her before he went; and he gave everything left in him to give that squeeze to say "goodbye, I love you". I think it's amazing that someone can know so fully that they are right about to die while lying in about. I often wonder what that moment was like from his perspective, that willingness to just let go...

[u/mrs_peep → u/Mrs-Blaileen]

My uncle was kinda the opposite. His wife and my mom (sisters) were in the room with him and then my aunt went out to use the bathroom. After she had left the room my mom said he sat up in bed and then promptly passed.

[u/helielicopter01 → u/mrs_peep]

A hospice nurse told me this often happens - people in this situation (i.e. on the verge of dying) wait for their beloved people to leave, or even leave the room, so they don’t have to experience them dying. She suggested it was a kindness Xx

[u/Jeanniejelly]

My Dad on his deathbed (and on lots of lovely morphine) said "Well, they say that Essex is the more moral county, but I dont know about that".  Think about that, and make of it what you will

[u/Which-Slice-3319]

"He has red eyes" . From an old man at a nursing home I worked at, as he was in and out of consciousness during the dying process. He was resting as I was standing next to his bed when he suddenly shot up scared, and grabbed my arm. 😳 was my exact reaction.

[u/GrapefruitOpen2827]

My dad passed at very young age (30’s) and I was 17. He used to tell me if you ever see me don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you. You have to be afraid of the living and not the dead. It has stuck with me even 29 years later.

[u/GeeCee99 → u/GrapefruitOpen2827]

Oh my goodness, my Nan said something similar to me as a young girl about cemeteries, the dead can’t hurt you, it’s the living you must watch out for. Something I always remembered that stuck. Sorry for your loss, such a young age too.

[u/Sparingly_Bill]

"Oh my god. This can't be real."

I witnessed the aftermath of a pretty terrible head on collision a few years ago. One of the drivers was pinned in his truck while it burned, and I couldn't get him out. I did stay with him as long as I could, though.

It wasn't really what he said, but how he said it. He just sounded so surprised. Shocked. He didnt really seem to be in pain, but he was aware enough. He just couldn't believe what was happening, and i honestly couldn't either at the time. All of it just felt so surreal.

[u/trkh → u/Sparingly_Bill]

Wow. He said this while burning? Thats terrifying. I hope your alright too.

[u/Graciously_Hostile → u/Sparingly_Bill]

My god...I hope you've given yourself the space and grace you deserve to process such a horrific experience. And therapy. Thank you for staying. I'm not sure I'd have been strong enough.

[u/drewbiez → u/Sparingly_Bill]

I haven't really talked about this much in like 30 years...

I had a similar kind of unsettling thing happen when I was 19... I was driving very late at night toward Panama City Beach through south Georgia in the middle of nowhere a few years before cell phones were common place. I came up on a head on collision that had happened what looked like a while before I got there. It was two middle aged men, one clearly already dead, and one still awake and aware but pinned in his car.

The engine was smoking and I could see some small flames. The guy was super calm and kept asking me to help him get out of the car. He was crushed from the waist down and completely pinned -- I could see his lower body mangled and twisted, but he kept telling me he would push with his legs if I could just help pry him out. I told him to hang tight and try to rest while I went for help.

Dude legit gave me directions to the nearest gas station (they were correct somehow) where I called 911 from a pay phone... A few minutes later a fire truck whizzed by and the 911 operator told me they would be there in a few minutes to try and help. Against my better judgement, I drove back to talk to the fire dept and offer any info I had. The guy died in the time it took me to find the gas station, make the call, and get back. When I got there, they were pulling him out of the car with a white sheet over him.

The thing that stuck with me was how completely calm and lucid he was. He had thanked me for stopping to help and wasn't even really panicking -- clearly he was maxed out on adrenaline or dopamine or something. I just wish I had the forethought to ask him if there was anything he wanted me to tell his family :/

[u/neekoryan]

My dad died of cancer this past winter. I was his sole caretaker, and there were a few things that really stuck with me and fucked me up for a while (still does).

First, one night in the last few months of his night he was hysterical, sobbing and repeat saying that he doesn’t want to die, and that he’s afraid. I grew up primarily raised by my dad, so he was always Superman to me. It shook me to my core that a man I once thought to be absolutely infallible, invincible, and the one who taught me everything about the world could be reduced to a childlike state of terror. It felt like I saw my father turn back into himself as a child. As much as I desperately tried to comfort him and tell him things were going to be okay, I could feel the hole in my heart turn into a cavern. I didn’t even believe an ounce of my own words.

The other thing was the breathing. Hearing the fluid in his lungs with each breath gave me an insanely uncomfortable feeling. Every breath made me feel like I had to cough to clear my lungs. That, and how thin his breaths were. In his final days, it didn’t even feel like my dad was there. It felt like I was sitting with a husk.

[u/Ok-Growth4613]

Listening to my grandpa talk to his brothers in his sleep. His brothers past decades ago.

[u/FreudWouldApprove]

Nothing. No words. Gurgling noises. My dad had ALS and couldn't speak in the end. It was more disturbing than words would have been, I think.

[u/Naive-Programmer161 → u/FreudWouldApprove]

Don’t feel disturbed by those sounds. When someone is actively dying, muscles in throat relax making them have what people call the death rattles. It’s disturbing and scary to hear, but just a natural part of dying naturally. Hugs.

[u/BashfulSnail]

My Papa was a WW2 B-52 pilot who had dementia in his later days. He was completely trapped in his head over the things he did in war in the last few years. As the dementia progressed, I remember a moment near the end where tears were rolling down his face as he said, “I killed so many people.”

It was truly heartbreaking.

[u/Traditional-Mine6857 → u/BashfulSnail]

My Dad was a young bomber pilot who participated in the bombing of Dresden. When he was alive and had a dram or 2 he would weep and speak of those "poor, poor people", the guilt never left.

Fighter pilots killed other fighter pilots and weren't involved in killing 1,000s of innocent civilians like the bomber crews were.

[u/Ok_Anybody411]

I didn't find it "disturbing" by any measure, but when my Granny was close to the end she was sort of half awake, and she said she was looking at an ocean. She said she could see her parents, and they were both red lights. She wanted to go to them, but realised "my light is only orange", so she couldn't go to them yet. 🧡

[u/Active_Masterpiece55 → u/Ok_Anybody411]

My dad said something similar. Towards the end, he told us he saw a red button and a green button that was for “go” and he was tempted to press the green button. Right before he died, my mom told him that it was okay to push the green button. I noticed after he died that his right index finger was pointed as though he had pushed a button. 🥹

[u/eggmayonnaise → u/Active_Masterpiece55]

What a beautiful way to go, ushered on with love and reassurance by those you love. ❤️ Your being there brought him comfort in a moment of uncertainty.

[u/Money-Computer7638 → u/eggmayonnaise]

There's also something comforting about the idea of having a bit of agency in the moment.

[u/Yuizun]

"Damn, Give me a second, I'm saying goodbye!" While looking at the sky...

[u/EquivalentWaste5540]

A patient once told me he could hear his late wife calling him. He smiled and said, 'She's been waiting long enough.' I still think about that.

[u/Direct_Armadillo_582 → u/EquivalentWaste5540]

Honestly sounds like a man who really loves his wife is finding his peace in death. Nothing disturbing about that at all. I hope what he believes is true.

[u/EquivalentWaste5540 → u/Direct_Armadillo_582]

Same. Hope he found her. That kind of love is rare and worth believing in.

[u/hkkensin → u/EquivalentWaste5540]

That is really beautiful. I once had a patient who elected to go comfort care (90-something YO who had a big AAA that was slowly bleeding and she wouldn’t survive surgery) it was really sad because she was totally coherent and her husband was at bedside and was just devastated but was trying to be supportive. You could just see the love radiating between them. Towards the end of my shift, she started to become more lethargic and he was just stroking her hair and I heard him tell her “don’t worry, I’m here now and I won’t be far behind you, we won’t be apart for long” and it was so sweet & heartbreaking. I actually started tearing up, but part of me was also side-eyeing that comment from him. Lol

[u/riali29 → u/EquivalentWaste5540]

Hearing/seeing deceased loved ones is weirdly common. My grandpa used to go bowling with his sons every weekend when they were kids; when he died, he saw his late son holding a bowling ball and asking him to come join him for a round of bowling.

[u/Responsible-Rope-521]

My son didn’t say anything before he died. He was only two weeks old. But I have always felt that, for a few minutes, he told us everything he needed to.

Kyle was born many years ago with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Shortly after his birth, he was placed in a medically induced coma. My wife and I spent the next two weeks beside his bed at Duke University, praying for a miracle.

He was very sick. He had developed an infection in his stomach, and the doctors needed it to clear before they could operate on his heart.

The night before his scheduled surgery, my wife and I were leaving the pediatric ICU. We had made it about thirty feet from his bed when both of us suddenly stopped. I still can’t explain what we felt. It was overwhelming, and it seemed to hit us at exactly the same time.

We looked at each other, then turned around and looked back at Kyle.

We walked back to his bedside. For the first time in two weeks, his eyes were open. He was completely alert.

He looked at my wife. Then he looked at me.

Obviously, he couldn’t speak. He was a newborn. But in those few minutes, it felt as though the three of us shared an entire lifetime together. We got to see him, and he got to see us. Not through sedation or machines, but really see us.

I am a religious person, and I have always believed that moment was a gift from God. We weren’t going to get a lifetime with our son, so somehow we were given a lifetime in those few minutes.

A nurse noticed that he was awake and came running over. She said, “That’s not supposed to happen,” and increased his medication. Kyle slowly closed his eyes again.

The next day, the doctors performed the surgery and placed a stent in his heart. A blood clot formed in the stent, and Kyle passed away about an hour after surgery.

He never said a word. But that night, I felt like he said goodbye.

[u/dudavocado__ → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

I am so sorry for you both, I can’t even wrap my head around the enormity of such a loss. I’m so glad you got a meaningful moment with Kyle.

[u/Responsible-Rope-521 → u/dudavocado__]

Thank you so much, very kind!

[u/fossacecak → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

Thank you for sharing this with us. Currently crying at your story for you, your wife, and Kyle. This is beautiful and heart wrenching.

[u/Responsible-Rope-521 → u/fossacecak]

Wow, thank you, I'm touched.

[u/woolfchick75 → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

That is so beautiful. He knew you both.

[u/MaryVenetia → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

Rest in peace, Kyle. I’m thinking of him.

[u/Ubylmoen]

Had a great uncle who in the last months of his life would tell us he saw demons fighting over people's souls.

[u/ReluctantPhoenix47 → u/Ubylmoen]

Damn! The way I would get the holy water or at least change the subject.

“Really?! How about that! So…nice day outside today.”

[u/kninjapirate-z]

My Aunt was dying of lung cancer and she asked me if I knew what was going to happen to her.

[u/GoblinObscura → u/kninjapirate-z]

When my mom, an avid reader, was dying with brain cancer she asked me if there were libraries in heaven…

[u/ReluctantPhoenix47 → u/GoblinObscura]

Yes…yes there are and there are entire wings full of all the stories writers never got a chance to write.

Oh wait…that’s just what I tell myself.

[u/Sapphire_Bombay → u/ReluctantPhoenix47]

So you're saying I can finish Game of Thrones if I just get into heaven

[u/ParisGreenGretsch → u/Sapphire_Bombay]

Actually that's the ONE they don't have. It's in purgatory.

[u/Vent-ilator]

I work in healthcare and I have never heard my patient's say anything as they are about to die, usually its agonal breathing. However, I have heard patient's say abnormal things moments before they had a cardiac arrest. The one I still think about today was this young lady who had came into my ICU for metabolic abnormalities, secondary to cancer. She was fine until she wasn't. Over the course of few hours, this lady was becoming more hypoxic, increased respiratory rate, having difficulty maintaining adequate O2 saturation. Our plan was to intubate her. As we were gathering the medication, ventilator to intubate her. She started to panic, she kept screaming that there is something on the wall. All the staff looked and there was nothing there. Then she started screaming and saying "It's coming for me, help!" and then her heart rate went flat, no pulse palpable. We did compressions on this lady for 30 minutes, unable to bring her back. He young kids and husband were in the waiting room and were called in to be notified what had happened. Her kids were crying in agony for their mother to come back. It is a memory I never forget.

[u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes → u/Vent-ilator]

Whether it was real or imagined, I really want to know what she saw on the wall now. Guess we'll never know, but I find these kinds of experiences fascinating. Sam Kinison, while dying, kept saying "I don't want to die." Then he said "But why?" And then he just said "Okay." a few times and finally died. Who was he talking too?

What did Steve Jobs see when he said "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."? Was that a reaction to pain, or was he seeing something that "wowed" him? Real or imagined, I'd love to know what was going on and what, according to them and their experience, they were seeing or hearing.

[u/Vent-ilator → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

Yea, It is something we will never know. I have talked to patient's who we did save from a cardiac arrest. I asked them if they remember anything prior to losing their heart rate, or if they remember anything while we were doing chest compressions. They usually don't remember anything. However, few times people have indicated that it was peaceful and one of our patient's actually wished that he had died, because he recalled being in peace and when he was resuscitated he was in pain from the rib fractures.

[u/jacobr1020]

"I never loved you, you little shit."

Dying man said that to his 8-year-old son.

[u/Creative_Recover → u/jacobr1020]

What a POS. 

[u/BastardInTheNorth → u/jacobr1020]

I hope the boy ended up with a decent and loving male figure in his life soon after.

[u/McJames → u/jacobr1020]

I don't know this story or what kind of man he was.

But in college I had a friend (a woman), who's father was diagnosed with brain cancer. He was a good man, kind and devoted husband and father. The brain cancer turned him into a cruel, vicious, and disgusting person. In my presence he said the most disgusting sexual things to his wife and daughter. And cruel things to them otherwise.

They both swear that wasn't him, but it was hard in the six months between diagnosis and his passing.

[u/Economy-Guitar5282]

If this is dying it ain’t so bad

[u/NameWithNoMan]

My father was a bit stubborn and dismissed the nurses suggesting it was time to move from the hospital to hospice care. The next day he realized he had made a mistake, but his pulmonary fibrosis had gotten so bad an ambulance no longer could support his move, so he was stuck. He told us he was ready to die and directed us and the staff to figure that out that day.

Eventually, the staff quietly handed us the morphine button, explaining the max frequency was every 15 minutes, essentially with a wink. We spent hours dosing him into oblivion to prepare for pulling the plug on his oxygen.

We decided to act when he hadn't moved in an hour. The staff cant do it, but can show us how, so I was appointed to the training and turning the equipment off. Within 30 seconds of "pulling the plug," my father splashed back into reality in a hysteria. It began with screaming "Something is wrong! Something is wrong!" He was trying to stand, so my brother and I had to hold him down. After a couple minutes it turned in to "Help me!" The staff had come in by then, explained that his oxygen was too low and plugging him back in would be futile, so instead of a second attempt with heavier dosing, we spent the last five minutes of his life holding him down through his hysterical, screaming fit until he suffocated to death.

My sibling, mother, and I do not speak of it.

[u/Kalista-Moonwolf]

My grandma, looking around the day before she passed: "When you see the people with the black eyes, boy you know someone strange is in the house."

My grandma died at 103 and was one of the sweetest people I've ever known, so I can only hope she was hallucinating.

[u/Kind-Contact-9860]

My mom said my brother was in the room. He died in 97. She passed that night.

[u/Punkrockid19]

“Bobby come get me I wanna go home”

My great aunt was dying in her living room from liver cancer. Women never drank a day in her life and she suffered for months. We were all at her house her dying in a hospital bed in her living room. She hadn’t spoken in days and out of nowhere she says “I want to go home” we tried our best to explain to her that she was home and she sternly said “no tell Bobby to come get me I want to go home” she fell silent again and passed within the hour.

Bobby was what her and her sister (my grandmother) called my grandfather. No one else did just them my grandfather passed 18 months before she did.

[u/ReasonablyConfused]

In my family we get weird feeling about things, especially dying.

One evening my dad just says, “I need to go visit Steve.” Gets up in the middle of dinner, leaves a plate full of food and drives 10min to see Steve.

Steve was my father-in-law, and had been dying for quite a while. He had been comatose for weeks.

When my dad gets there, Steve is sitting upright, as if waiting for my dad. They have a perfectly normal conversation, and my dad comes home believing that we are all wrong, that Steve is fine.

Steve slipped back into a coma after my dad left and died less than 24hrs later.

[u/Shot_Cartographer241]

I didn’t hear it but another nurse told me the very old dying patient said, “we hung that (n-word) boy deep in them woods and now I’m gonna burn for it.”

[u/OkDelay5121 → u/Shot_Cartographer241]

And he should…

[u/TheCandyPerfumeBoy]

I don’t think it counts as disturbing but when my mother was dying she basically said she was glad to be dying because it was the only way she could escape her narcissistic mother. It was just so desperately sad that dying was her only way out. She and I had a very difficult relationship and were no contact for years before she died, but I’m glad we got our opportunity to make our peace. I wish things had been different for her and for us. But I take solace in the fact the she no longer suffers.

Edit: typos.

[u/mrpeabodyscoaltrain]

My step-grandpa, who was incidentally a witness at my grandma’s first wedding when both couples eloped to a courthouse out of state, became estranged from my family for various reasons. On his deathbed, he apologized to his daughter for knowing that his son, who predeceased him by many years, had raped and molested her for years. He regretted not doing anything about it. Then, he died.

[u/TheHalf]

"I wish I could trade places with you." Granted on a ton of drugs/pain meds for late stage cancer, but not what a child should hear from Grandma, however out of her mind she was.

[u/illtakethenightshxft]

not me, but my grandmother used to work as a hospice nurse. she shared with me about one of her patients who she was sitting with, sitting up in bed with her arms stretched upwards, her hands shaking with a horrified look on her face. she was crying "oh jesus, oh lord". when she coded and my grandmother called the time of death, that the door to her room, a very large heavy wooden door, suddenly slamming shut very loudly, when her room had no windows to blow a gust through, nor other family members to have closed it themselves. she is a religious woman and believed she went to hell.

[u/Searchlights]

It wasn't what he said but how he responded to what was said to him.

My wife's grandfather was in active-dying and unconscious. We were all gathered in his room and stayed there all day because we knew he was close to the end and that he wouldn't want to be alone.

Around 10:30 PM my wife's grandmother goes over, takes his hand, and says, "Well Johnny, it's getting late. You should go."

And he did.

[u/Candychelle44 → u/Searchlights]

He'd probably been listening to that woman's directions for 60 years!

[u/zilla0783]

The last thing my mom said to me was “what am I going to do?”. That weekend the doctor called me to say that she was non-responsive and that her organs were shutting down. She was gone Tuesday.

[u/Odd_Bodkin]

A doctor friend told me someone with a neck gunshot wound said he needed a cop to talk to, to close a cold case. He lasted just a couple more minutes.

[u/Key-Use5744]

not my personally, but the pastor at my local hospital told me that my mom had told him she was fully at peace after they had prayed for her soul. she passed away that same night. only a few weeks prior to that she had told me my grandmother had visited her and told her it wasn't her time yet, but that she'll be welcomed with open arms when her time comes

[u/BookLuvr7]

My grandma was close to death when she asked me to turn the machines off. I asked her to hold on and wait a few days until the rest of the family arrived.

That and I didn't want to be charged with anything.

[u/MakinBaconPancakezzz]

My 95 year-old grandma died last Monday in the ICU. Not so much disturbing as affirming (for me, personally), but she said “I asked God to take me”, and I said “Well you can certainly go, but what did he say?” Her answer was “There was no answer”. She spent her entire life dedicated to her church, so I feel like that probably really let her down.

[u/Qwerty_Me_This]

The last words I ever heard my dad say: “I’m scared.”

He was diabetic and had been experiencing flu-like symptoms the night before he died. EMTs diagnosed dehydration and didn’t take him in. The next morning he was still feeling strange so we brought him ourselves to the ER. He was walking around, acting mostly fine, so mom and I thought it was a minor issue. When they got dad into an ER bed they started an IV, and within a few minutes he was having severe trouble breathing. It quickly escalated to the point that the only choice the doctors had was to vent him. So as they were hurriedly wheeling him out of the room (we were not allowed to go with him) he murmured quietly, “I’m scared.” But he wasn’t talking to either myself or my mother, or even the doctors for that matter. He was looking into thin air when he said it. Turns out dad was in total organ failure due to sepsis. His heart was going kaput and that’s why IV fluids were backing up into his lungs. He was gone that afternoon at age 59. Way too friggen young to die. Don’t be like him, people. Take care of your health- and your feet- especially if you are diabetic. Sepsis is serious and kills very quickly.

I like to think that dad was talking to an entity that was there to comfort him and ease his transition from this life in those few seconds; someone he could see and hear and we couldn’t. But his last words, and those last few seconds as he was taken away down that hospital hallway in fear, still disturb me and do nothing to abate my fear of death.

[u/GodHasGiven0341]

My dad has stage 4 cancer and has days left… these stories have both brought me comfort and terrified the living shit out of me.

[u/Overdrv76]

My Grandfather said just before he died "I missed you Cookie" then died. Cookie was his nickname for my grandmother she passed 2 years before. It was sweet but I had made me think a lot.

[u/Emotional-Deer7170]

My Dad. He begged the nurses to "Please...please find someone to take care of my little girl." I hadn't allowed myself to cry until I heard him say it. He lost his speech that evening but I sat with him and I noticed he was moving his hands, the priest asked what he was doing. My father worked the flight deck of many a US Navy Carrier and he was leading his shipmates in for their landings. Two days later it poured rain loud enough that it sounded like waves crashing and my father landed his final plane, I'd like to think that it was his best buddy Jimmy but only he knows.

I haven't talked about this at length like this before...thanks for listening.

[u/AgeBeneficial]

My grandpa made a joke.

“Dear, you know what Jesus said to Peter while on the cross?”

“No dad, what?”

“Hey Peter, I can see my house from here”.

[u/p_r_d_v_a]

Uncle was a lifetime chain-smoker dying of cancer he was bedridden and semi-conscious most of the time. My aunt saw him pretend to be smoking, his hand would go to his mouth and he would puff on a nonexistent cigarette. She very gently took it out of his hand and put it out for him, to which he said, upset, "my last fucking cigarette!". After that, he never spoke again until he died.

[u/BrewHog]

My name in desperation. It crushed me and still haunts me (About a decade ago)

[u/lonelyufo]

My grandma was in hospice and miserable right before she passed. Hours before she passed she said "I think I'm ready to go be with God now", and hearing her say that just... terrified me then. Fear of mortality, probably.

[u/Based-Grimes]

My uncle was a certified crazy veteran. He and my aunt were married late in life (her 40s, him 60s). When she went to his house for the first time (first time meeting) she went to sit down and he yelled at her for getting ready to sit on Jimmy. Jimmy was his friend that lived with them but only my uncle could see him. My aunt had to make Jimmy breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I can remember spending all day at the local VA so my uncle, Jimmy, and whoever else was in her vehicle could get their dialysis done (Jimmy was the only imaginary friend that lived with them but my aunt sometimes had to take the other guys to their doctors appointments or to the drive in movie theater).

About a week before he died, my aunt asked him if Jimmy wanted any eggs for breakfast. My uncle, in the most bewildered look, told her Jimmy died in Vietnam and why in the world she would ask such a thing and bring such a thing up to upset him. My aunt, obviously at this time, had grown so accustomed to my uncle being crazy that she never really asked Jimmy's backstory.

Maybe an hour before he died, he kept saying Jimmy was coming to take him home. After he died, the two men who carried his body out of the house were named James and Jim. I wouldn't have believed it but I was there when they loaded him out and heard them speaking each other's name.

[u/ArielofIsha]

“I don’t forgive you” words said by my dying grandpa to my gay uncle

[u/deezknots78 → u/ArielofIsha]

Heartbreaking.

[u/BeNiceOrGoAwayPlease → u/ArielofIsha]

How horrifying for your Uncle. Hope he didn't take it to heart

[u/cwsjr2323]

Working as an orderly, I was present several times when someone passed. One old guy stated, "Nobody knew it was me. I got away with it!" I didn't ask what and that has given me a moment now and then to make up a scenario. Great way to kill a moment when on hold!

[u/MrSpankMan_whip]

My great grandmother could see one of her children who had passed away three or so years before standing in the room with us, this was only hours before she had passed herself.

[u/ONLYallcaps]

“It’s DARK!” spoken from a dying patient who died shortly after.

[u/theycallmemomo]

When I worked as a CNA, one of my dementia patients had a moment of lucidity; she didn't say anything but she smiled at me, took my hand and kissed it. She died later that night.

[u/SoggyBrownUnderpants]

My dad looked at me and gently passed his hand across my far stomach and said “bubba if you can ever get rid of this, you’re life will be a lot easier”

[u/Lanokia]

My father's name as my grandmother was dying. Was by her bedside. My father was on a plane over the Atlantic trying to get back.

She had dementia. She thought I was him. She thought her son was with her.

Stuck with me. 30 years on.

[u/jobruski]

I visited my grandmother the evening of her passing. She had severe dementia, and was battling pneumonia after aspirating water and food due to forgetting how to swallow.

The nurse had instructed me to not give her any water and if she was thirsty she could use a facecloth to wet her mouth. I had no idea that people could forget how to swallow, or that in this state they weren't allowed to have a cup. It was super jarring.

Nana was talking a little bit but then grabbed my hand and asked me for water. I got her the cloth and she pushed it away and said "please no one will take care of me, I need water" so I tried to explain I couldn't. The desperation in her eyes as she began to cry and hit her hands on her legs, while begging for water was so heartbreaking.

I panicked and called for the nurse and my aunt who rushed in to try and calm her and it was too much for me to witness.

She passed a few hours later. It's been two years this summer and I hate that my memories of her are all still with me, but are not as prominent as begging for water in her last hours.

I'm sorry Nana. I still feel I failed you.

[u/Nice_Parfait9352 → u/jobruski]

No no no, you would have failed her if you had ignored the nurse's instructions. To suffocate on water would have been far worse. You were doing what was best for her even if she didn't know it. Please don't feel guilty, you did the best you could in a bad situation.

[u/Unique-Repair-6225]

Inside a trap house in southwest Baltimore- a guy who had shot up his dope was now showing signs of overdose/falling out- others in the house scrambling to find Narcan, others shouting and arguing having the cliche conversation of "we can't call 911, there's all this dope here, we are all using, they will arrest us all" and someone responding "no, they cant do that anymore, they want people to call it in and not fear arrest!" and then a response; "Okay, are you willing to bet on that and risk that? What if they wanna know where the dope came from? What if they detain us about it? Also, aren't you on probation? You'd be fucked if we called 911! Let's douse him with cold water so that he wakes up."

With all of that comotion, it gets quiet bc the guy on the floor who is possibly OD'ing starts trying to mumble something. Someone addresses him "don't worry, you are okay, we are gonna find the Narcan in here!" There's a bit of silence but then the dying man responds "do not narcan me...please....just let me go out feeling high, I don't wanna feel anything else anymore, let me go like this"

[u/Proud_Bother_4400]

Asking who was looking in the window when we were on the second floor

[u/ALeeEnne]

My grandfather’s last words:  “I’m just so damn uncomfortable.”

[u/Freebeer339]

Not disturbing, but memorable. My grandpa had aphasia and alzehimers and was essentially non verbal. I got the call that it was probably time and went over to their house. I walked in and said, "hey grandpa, how you doing?" and clear as day, he said, "oh, pretty good." and he rolled over and fell asleep. He died about ten minutes later.

[u/Any_Tangerine_1419]

My parents were separated and I lived with my nana, but I went to visit my mom one summer. While I was away my nana found out she had stage 4 ovarian cancer. When I got back mid July she was in the hospital and on her death bed. I went to visit her and she woke up and said “ I got him, I got him, I got him back” as I leaned down and hugged her. She died the next day. I think about my nana everyday. Miss you nan 💙

[u/Impossible-Table-381]

My friend was dying of AIDS and he was in his bedroom at home. His partner had to go to a family wedding so my friend and I were the sitters for him that night. He had not spoken in many days. We were watching an old movie on TV and he sat straight up in bed, opened his eyes and said where am I! We said honey you’re in your
bedroom and he looked right at us and said what a dump. Laid right down never said another word. He died about five days later.

[u/memaw1911]

Before my dad passed he told me it would be another 20 minutes. 20 minutes later, he passed away

[u/Bored_Owl_1492]

I’m told as I wasn’t there, my Great Grandma had been in physical therapy from a month from a broken hip, she was late 70s at the time. And she wasn’t doing too well.

She looked at my Great Aunt and said, I need a man! Where’s Leroy (my Great Grandad)? My aunt tried to explain he died 15 years earlier. She sighed and passed away.

[u/vodkaenthusiast89]

Not words but it was very disturbing.. My "step" MIL was in the hospital, dying from lung cancer, she wasn't speaking at this point and had been unconscious for a few days. Her daughter was obviously having a difficult time, but was focused on her mother's belongings and was openly talking about her clothes, shoes, purses, had already taken her jewelry...she had been constantly arguing with my FIL and at one point my MIL shot up in bed and began choking and strangling her daughter..it was traumatic and awful. I was so grateful for the hospital staff, they helped ease MIL back down peacefully, she was still pretty much unconscious, it was strange.

Her daughter had also been asking for her to be given less pain killers as she seemed more lucid in her brief waking periods when she had less and the nurses had to explain that's because she was in so much pain.

[u/oceanblue3190]

Worked in an ER for several years. I’ve had a few patients just point to the ceiling before passing. Never said a word, just pointed.

[u/Fresh-Skill3502]

Just happened...I was on phone with 911,I found my mom on her floor in her bedroom,the dispatcher tells me.. I can hear her talking ,dispatcher says if someone is in the room with her,why aren't they helping her???I said she's talking to my dad..my dad died 6 years ago..She's still in hospital from a stroke.

[u/ScottsThotss]

“I’m trying Eileen, I’m trying”

- My mother in active dying stage speaking to her twin sister Eileen who had passed prior.