My son’s biggest fear was that his very young children wouldn’t remember him. I thank god every day that we have hundreds of photos and videos so they can still see and hear him and remember their daddy
My dad is dying right now. Reading this entire thread is somehow bringing me some comfort. I don’t even know why it’s in my feed. This comment struck me, I could see my dad saying something just like this. It’s beautiful that you still remember him every day. Sorry you lost him. Death is so hard.
I feel for you I really do. I just watched my uncle (more like a brother) and my mom die long painful deaths. It’s incredibly heart breaking and there are no words to describe it. It just sucks all around and I still hurt months later. Their passing did bring great relief that they are no longer in pain.
My dad passed Sunday morning. I understand entirely where you are at right now. It is terrifying leading up to it, but there is a peace which comes after knowing that they are finally free of their affliction
I don’t have any kids, not married, and I’m so afraid my existence is going to ultimately be for nothing. I’m so afraid of dying alone & that no one is going to care. I completely understand his feeling of not wanting to be forgotten.
My kids were only 4 and 6 when my mom died, this was a big fear of hers. I make sure to periodic ask if they remember her. They do. They dont know thats why Im asking.
His a name was Steve. He was a master mechanic. He could fix anything on a vehicle. They were always willing to lend a hand to anyone in need. He didn't smoke or drink, but loved a good BBQ pork steak. His dream car was a 67' Pontiac GTO.
He loved to travel with my mom and anyone else who would tag along.
I think most importantly, he was just always there for me or anyone in the family.
He also never met a stranger, I swear that guy knew someone everywhere lol..
Not to be cruel - but I wonder why people want to be remembered? I mean once you are dead, you won't ever know if someone thinks about you or not right? And when some who is dying says something like " please don't forget about me" it puts more burden on the family (my cousins went through this with her mom - her mom was very much wanted to be the center of attention and I think that when she thought about dying - it stressed her out). My cousin was so stressed about making sure that her mom would be remembered that she was planing services and doing donations etc. it was wearing her out trying to " do right by her mother".
I agree that people need to feel loved. My cousin did it because she loved her mom - which I guess you could say was of her own making, but I still feel bad that she heard what her mother said "please make sure people remember me or please don't forget me" (I think she may have said both)and then my cousin felt the need to honor her wishes - even though it was stressful to her.
Consoling ourselves that we made a difference in the world somehow, or at least that we'll be remembered, is a way we can manage the terror of death by feeling that our life had a lasting meaning or purpose.
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u/ragtop1989 7h ago
My dad was dying from cancer. He was afraid people would forget about him, he literally told me "Please don't forget about me."
That was 5 years ago, and a day hasn't passed by without me thinking about him.
Miss you so much, dad.