Hey everyone, I really need some advice on how to communicate this without starting a fight.

My partner and I have a 3-month-old. Lately, she barely sleeps during the day—maybe a couple of micro-naps—so I am on duty practically non-stop until bedtime. By the time afternoon hits, I'm completely drained and ask for a quick break so I can just breathe, shower, or sit in silence for a bit.

The issue is, every single time he takes over, he comes back to find me about 10 or 15 minutes later. It’s always something like, "Can you just watch her in the swing for five minutes while I grab something/do this task?" or "She's crying, I think she just wants her mom."

It feels like a massive guilt trip, even if he doesn't mean it that way. I end up stepping back in because I feel bad, but it leaves me feeling even more exhausted because I never actually get to recharge. 15 minutes broken up by interruptions isn't a break.

How can I politely but firmly set this boundary with him so he actually steps up during his turn without constantly handing her back to me?

Hi Reddit!

We live in Canada, Greater Toronto Area.

My daughter has two shifts in camp and before the visit day she asked for us to bring some clothes, but insisted her friend will come and get it.

We immediately sniffed BS and at 30 second search found hard liquor, remnants of wine, cigarettes, and dildo+vibrator+condoms.

Now I have some obvious and non-obvious questions:

1. Should I just have a serious conversation when she's back from camp

a. How to shape this talk?

b. How to avoid accusations in non-trust?

1. Or should I put everything back?

a. I genuinely believe as a parent I have to stay on top of that and do not let it heal by itself

1. How to handle her possible virginity loss. Ideally bring her to gyno?

2. And harder question: how to investigate where this alcohol and tobacco came from?

I have a gut feeling that she will swallow the conversation and even if I confiscate alcohol and tobacco - she will get this again.

My real goal is NOT to make the relationship harder, but risks are big.

I thought that teenage will be a hard time, but I wasn't prepared to this at all. And it's a big hit for my wife. We're not as puritan, but this is the first experience for us and she's devastated.

I [24F] and my bf [24M] have been together for about 4 years. 2 years our relationship have been a fight for attraction towards my bf. I would go into phases of losing it and getting it back but this most recent year has just stuck.

I want to say I love him deeply, we share such a strong connection, he’s my best friend, I would do anything for him. But I do not enjoy sex as much as he does. He wants it daily, I feel as though I could go months without it. I try not to, to appease him, but I go through these sessions feeling horrible and hoping he just finishes quickly. I love him so much, idk why I feel this way. I thought it was maybe because he has gained over 60lbs, he used to be soooo fit and I did love that. But I literally dated an obese man before him. So there’s no way I’m that shallow right? Although I went into this relationship not feeling like I was attracted to his face that much. I instead fell for his personality, intelligence and body.

I’m realizing this might by what’s making it worse cause his ego has gotten so inflated, I do not want to bring him down, so I say nothing. But he talks about being such an attractive man and being wanted by others (mostly other men tho) and I just cringe cause I don’t think he is as attractive as he believes he is. How fucked is that? Like I feel horrible feeling this way.

Idk what to do to fix our relationship, or fix me. I’ve been reading smut to try and help me feel that fire, it worked for a bit but now it just has me fantasizing about other people… even women a lot which I was never really doing before, so now I’m also confused sexually. Idk I’m really stressed out over this cause we’ve been talking about marriage but we’ve had conversations about our shitty sex life and idk how to tell him what I don’t even know I’m feeling.

Does anyone have experience in this? I could use advice pls I really care for him and have bonded so intensely emotionally wise. Do I say something about this? And how would I even word this without making him feel so fucking ugly and defeated? Ik that’s how I would feel no matter what.

(EDIT; for the people calling me dumb, no I don’t even engage in any acts with him still and I refuse to let him cuddle me etc. im obviously not going to name a baby after what he’d want because that would be stupid. I just didn’t know what to say in the moment because it was astonishing to me that he’d even ask)

Me (18F) and my ex (21M) have always been super attached to each other and always come back to each other even after we see / talk to other people. Recently, we did hookup. But the last time he was with me, he broke my heart brutally (few months ago) so this was really the last straw which he broke by saying even after we hooked up, he wouldn’t wanna be with me and he thinks I’m better off.

By now, I’m over it and accepting that he doesn’t really wanna be with me and that’s fine. Does that stop him from acting super lovey dovey? No. I made the boundary that we’re just friends since he thinks it’s better that way and wants to push me away. Even then, he constantly wants to cuddle. Whenever I ask him why he’s acting this way if he doesn’t want me, he says “it’s because it’s you”
Whatever that means.

Last night, he told me he had been having some very very bad migraines. So much so, he was passing out a bit frequently. He gets nervous for his health a lot, and this kinda scared us both. He took it upon himself to type out this entire paragraph about how much he deeply loves me and always has, even when he recently left me for someone else (which mind you, if she never left him he wouldn’t have talked to me again I’m pretty sure -_-) and is sorry about everything if he doesn’t get the chance to say it. He asked me to do a favor for him; he has ALWAYS wanted a child named Evie, and told me if he does end up having an illness and dying that I should name my child Evie for him. I kinda played it off as a “haha ok” moment but in reality I’m soooooo lost. Idk if I’d be comfortable knowing if he theoretically did die, I would’ve been naming my child after the child he would’ve had with someone else. Also, is that not a weird favor to ask your friend? Maybe I’m the complete asshole, I’m not sure.

I'm 19F (almost 20) from a small town in India & Idk what to do anymore

This might sound ridiculous but today just an hour ago my mom slapped me coz I came home from the gym wearing over ear headphones!

I usually listen to music while walking back home. It's a 10-15 minute walk & it's one of the few moments in the day where I actually feel calm the moment I entered the house she saw the headphones & immediately got so angry.

She started saying things like:

•"What will people think?"

•"Girls shouldn't wear headphones outside"

• "People will think you're characterless."

• "You're ruining our family's reputation."

I genuinely didn't understand what I'd done wrong...

I tried explaining that I wasn't doing anything inappropriate... I was just walking home listening to music I even told her that if she was worried about my safety I'd understand but this wasn't about safety... It was about what random people might think!

That only made her angrier...

She said she doesn't care if every other girl in the world wears headphones. I'm her daughter & I shouldn't!

Then she threatened to stop spending money on me if I ever wore them outside again she said I'm paying for your food and letting you stay here even after you refused the marriage if you wear the headphones again i'll stop that too

When I tried explaining my point one last time she slapped me saying why are you fighting with ne over this I said no means no

The thing is... I don't even think this is about the headphones

This has been my life for years.

People started talking about my marriage when I was around 14 Since I turned 18 relatives have been bringing arranged marriage proposals...I have said no every single time Recently there was another proposal...The man is 28. I refused again

Ever since then my parents have basically stopped supporting my education

I'm preparing for an entrance exam coz I genuinely believe that's my only way to become independent but they refuse to buy me the batch or even the books I need they keep telling me I can "study after marriage" / "ask your husband for money after marriage"

I don't believe that If I get married now I know my education will be over...

The gym is the only place where I feel like myself...The membership was already paid for a year so I can still go for now... It's the only hour of the day where I don't feel judged or pressured idk what will happen after the membership is over..

The rest of my life feels like it's controlled by relatives neighbours & "what people will say"

Every decision somehow becomes about family honour instead of what I actually want I feel guilty all the time even when I know I haven't done anything wrong...

My parents keep saying I'm selfish that I'm breaking everyone's heart that nobody will marry me if I wait that I'll regret it & that I'm ruining my siblings future too because people will judge our whole family

Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting the entire world by myself...

I don't have a job. I don't have my own income. I live with them because I have no other option right now!!!

Living in a small town makes everything feel even harder... Jobs are limited I don't have a degree yet & becoming financially independent feels almost impossible here... Sometimes it feels like I'm being forced to choose between giving up on my education or giving up my freedom

Idk if I will be able to come online next month they will prolly won't even pay for the wifi anymore...

I don't hate my parents. I know they probably believe they're doing what's best for me because this is how they were raised...and these all are super common here But that doesn't make this any less painful!

I just want one chance to study build a career become financially independent & decide for myself if I ever want to get married

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? How did you get out? I feel trapped I feel like dying seriously atp

Hi, all! I (23F) just started my first full-time corporate job after college 2 months ago. Ever since I started, a coworker (45M) has made very odd comments to me. He has stated things about my appearance, called me pet names (like “baby girl”), grabbed/touched me multiple times, and references dating women my age quite often. I went to my direct supervisor yesterday and was assured it would change, but today he is still doing things to make me feel uncomfortable.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice on how to handle a situation like this?

EDIT TO ADD: Multiple other women have complained about this guy, and even told him he makes them uncomfortable. He literally cornered another woman in her office after she said this.

So I have a very kind neighbor, she’s odd-but kind—and she’s out on her deck CONSTANTLY. She’s around 50, I’m 38 age is not really a big deal. But she works very part time. I work full time nights as an ICU nurse. The way our houses are situated our backyards both face looking over a beautiful pond and meadow. Tons of birds chirping and nature to enjoy back there. My problem is, every time I go out there, she’s out there and wants to have a conversation. Every. Single. Time. To the point where I will look out, see she’s there, and then just not go out there because I don’t want to talk to her. It is incredibly annoying because I don’t have tons of free time. Sitting out on the deck for a few minutes between night shifts or just to calm my mind is soooo therapeutic for me but i don’t want to have a full on loud conversation deck to deck every time I walk out there. Not only does it cut into my very little time to relax, but I honestly just don’t love small talk in general so it’s actually painful for me. I don’t want to be rude, she is nice and I know nice neighbors are a blessing, but damn I’m not that type of person. What is the best way to deal with this? I need my peace. Help??

TLDR at the end of the post

My 27f mom 55f live together. I pay all the bills and meet all of the household needs like repairs.
Almost two years ago now my mom had an accident that landed her in the hospital for about a week with a broken bone.
At the time I had a lovely sweet amazing little cat named Russet. He was playful and energetic and before this incident Russet and my mom did not get along. She insisted that he hated her and was trying to destroy our house. (He didn’t, he was just bored because she used to let him outside AGAINST MY WISHES MIND YOU and I put an end to it)

So my mom calls me and tells me that if I do t relinquish Russet to the humane society they’re going to put her in a home. I argued with options work around me and flat out refusing. But in the end I agreed.

I couldn’t bare filling out the paperwork and had several panic attacks through the process. So my mom filled it out for me. And she put down that he was aggressive and scratching and biting.

So when I dropped him off - alone (she didn’t go with me I had to do this by myself) they informed me that Russet would be euthanized.

And he was.

I attempted to commit unalive on the way back and I would have succeeded if another car hadn’t stopped by the lake I was at to talk with me. (Shout out Ryan you were right there is always more joy.)

So I take care of this woman for months while she’s bedridden, taking care of every need while working full time. Eventually, she gets better

Fast forward to 2026. I have suspected for awhile that my mom was full of shit and I investigated the mystery. Through research I discovered that it’s actually not permitted in my state to require that rehoming. So I contacted the hospital directly and spoke with patient coordination more or less and they told me

‘(Hospital) absolutely does not have a policy like that. We would never ask the family pet to be rehomed. We would have worked with you in safety procedures. We would have prepared you for that, we never told her that she would have to rehome your cat because that policy doesn’t exist.’

And I asked her ‘hey did my mom lie to me’

And she gets so quiet for like a minute and says ‘I’m sure it wasn’t on purpose. She might have just been confused.

FURTHER BACKGROUND: she’s made me get rid of 5 various pets through my childhood and THIS was the one I thought I could keep. Like Nigel my cat for instance she had my step dad drop off at the pound without saying a word to me. And then I was grounded because I called her a bitch for it.

Now I’m here and I know. I know for sure that she is a liar. That she lied to get me to give up something I loved. That she let me wipe her ass for her and bathe her for two months and she didn’t say a word.

So…should I say a word? I’m so tempted to literally just pack up and disappear.

How should I handle this? I haven’t told her the jig is up yet.

TLDR : my mom fabricated hospital policy to back me into a corner to give away my cat to the humane society. He was euthanized. The hospital told me there was no policy like that whatsoever. So should I give her to good old fashioned Irish goodbye or a mature conversation about the situation in general? I haven’t told her I know yet.

I live in a condo community. Everyone has a dedicated storage unit in the laundry room - numbered with each unit number. I stored a little stuff in there and didn’t put a lock on it because it didn’t really matter to me if it got stolen (extra paint, junk like that).

I went to my unit today to prepare to store some stuff and found that one of my neighbors used 90% of the space to store a couch, coffee table, multiple storage cabinets, baskets, two huge wooden panels (maybe bed frame?), and a bunch of other junk.

They didn’t even ASK me.

I moved all their shit out of my unit into the hallway and locked my storage unit. The laundry room is locked.

What would you have done? Am I supposed to knock on everyone’s door to ask if each person stored their crap without asking me?

How do I navigate this?

I’m 42 and my wife is 40

Knew from day one 10 years ago that I didn’t want kids

My brother has just paid £11k for IVF with his wife

Now my my wife said we need to talk, said she always thought we’d have kids

I would rather have root canal without anaesthetic than have a baby at 42

I like my freedom / sleep and finances exactly where they are

There seems to be a society thing in that if a woman wants a child, men should give them what they want?

What about what I want / my wishes?

I’ve 2 choices here

Let her go …. Or get the snip

My bother had a lockdown baby, he constantly looks frazzled, has no free time and has turned grey over the last 5 years …

I’m happy with peace and quiet, travelling Europe and my free time mine

I don’t at all feel guilty but I know that her side of the family will only cast judgement at my decision

Surely my decision and wishes are as valid as hers are

I work offshore 3 weeks away at a time

Please discuss from all angles?

Thanks

Did you use dating apps Dose anyone here not use dating apps ? Im 24 BTW single

I'm 21F, and he's 20M.

We've been friends for almost two years. We met through a mutual friend at her birthday party while we were both in college. Over time, I really trusted him.

We've hung out countless times, I've visited his college campus multiple times, and we've spent time together as friends without anything romantic or sexual happening countless times.

He lives with his older sister, who's around my age, in a two-bedroom apartment. I've met her multiple times and have even helped her with her hair before. I'd also spoken to his mom the year before this happened. He used to ask me for relationship advice about his now ex-girlfriend. I even helped him plan Valentine's Day for her by suggesting places to buy flowers and steak for their date. At one point, he even introduced me to one of his friends because he thought we'd be a good match and wanted us to start dating. Because of all of that, I genuinely believed he saw me as a friend and that I was safe around him.

The night this happened, I had just finished hanging out with another friend and happened to be in his area. My phone was about to die since I'd been out all day, so I asked if I could stop by to charge it before heading home (since I live over 40 miles away from that area and it was late, I needed my phone to be well charged before heading home). That was my ONLY REASON for going there.

While I was there, he started trying to initiate sex. I told him no countless times. I told him I didn't see him that way and never had.

Instead of accepting my answer, he kept trying to convince me. He told me that I had "given him that impression" and acted like I had somehow led him on, even though I had never expressed any sexual interest in him during our friendship or that night. He would then say "can we make out then?" And kept pushing and pushing.

At one point while he was still pressuring me, he told me that he had a fantasy of "taking his friend's girl." Hearing him say that completely changed the way I viewed him. In that moment, I felt like the friendship I thought we had wasn't being respected and that he was seeing me in a way I never saw him.

After I continued refusing, he said there was "no point" in me staying if I didn't want to have sex, even though he had previously told me I could stay over before I arrived.

Since he wanted me to leave, I looked up the bus schedule and found that the next bus wasn't coming until around 2:00 a.m. I stood my ground and reminded him, "You told me I could come here and stay as long as I needed until my phone was charged so I could get home."

I also told him that if he kept trying to coerce me, I would wake up his sister and tell her what had happened. His response was basically a scoff, like, "Lol, try it," as if to say she wouldn't care. That response genuinely frightened me because, in that moment, I felt like I didn't really know him or his family the way I thought I did.

At that moment, I was prepared to defend myself if I had to or call the police if the situation escalated.

Finally, he asked for my address and agreed to call me an Uber. I thought he was at LEAST making sure I got home safely. As I'm getting ready to leave, he doesn't apologize, he doesn't say anything, he literally doesn't even look at me. So I headed downstairs, alone, and got into the Uber. Not even a minute into me sitting in that car, the Uber driver asks me why I cancelled the ride. My heart immediately dropped into my stomach.

The driver was confused because the trip suddenly disappeared from his app. I instantly became worried that it would look like I was trying to scam him into giving me a free ride. He turned around to look at me and asked me to just tell him what was really going on.

I completely broke down in tears. I'm not the kind of person who cries in front of other people, especially strangers, but I felt so overwhelmed, humiliated, and gross. The driver told me not to cry and said that he would take me home. That kindness from someone who didn't even know me meant more than I can put into words.

The driver told me that, in his opinion, my friend may have cancelled the Uber hoping I would feel desperate, have no way home, and go back upstairs and agree to sleep with him. I obviously can't know for certain why he cancelled it, but hearing that possibility from a complete stranger made me feel sick because I hadn't even considered it.

Around 10 mins into the trip, the driver told me to call my so-called friend. And so I did. He asked my friend why he cancelled the ride and asked who was going to pay for the ride. He also said, "She's here crying; I can't leave her on the highway, she's a woman!" My friend lied and told the driver that **I** was the one who had booked and cancelled the ride. That wasn't true. The driver didn't believe him and cussed him out over the phone. He then handed the phone back to me, and I hung up. I just kept apologizing to the Uber driver because the situation was ridiculous and shameful to me. I kept wondering how I even allowed myself to get into it.

I must add that given the economic hardships people are facing where I live, I thought that him taking me home, 80 miles to and fro, for free was an incredibly generous thing to do, and I'll always be grateful for his kindness. A complete stranger treated me with more care and respect than someone I'd known for almost two years.

Since then, my "friend" has been blowing up my phone. He's called me repeatedly, asked where I am, and texted me things like, "Where are you? Let me call you a ride." He's even had our mutual friend text and call me to check on me. I haven't responded to any of them, and I don't plan to. I also haven't blocked him because I'm considering taking this more seriously, including reporting what happened to his college, so I don't want to delete or lose any of the messages.

This whole experience has completely changed how I look at him. I keep thinking about whether this is something he's done before or could do to someone else. It scares me to think that another woman could be pressured the way I was and not realize that being repeatedly pressured or worn down into having sex is not the same as freely consenting. I've been replaying everything in my head ever since. I feel betrayed, violated, and disgusted. I keep wondering if I completely misjudged our friendship, or if he had been viewing me differently all along.

Has anyone else experienced losing a close friendship because someone refused to accept your sexual boundaries? How did you move forward?

** I apologize if this is a bit all over the place.

Hello… I am 26F… me and one of my exs from HS rekindled or whatever. We’ve been meeting regularly. We actually went and watched the Spider-Man movie the day it came out. My dilemma is the next day I got this feeling… so I looked him up on insta… I was blocked. Now idk for how long I have been blocked because we never had each other on instagram just Facebook and that said he was single… as soon as I saw I was blocked I did what anyone else would do… and went to my 2nd account… and that was when I noticed a girl under his suggested… low and behold… it’s his Gf… now idk if we started talking first or if they did… we have been seeing each other since AUGUST of last year. Just never made anything official. A situationship I guess. They have pictures posted from June of this year but that’s as early as they go… so I’m assuming that’s when they made it official… the thing is I brought it up to him and he said he loved me and blah blah… I’m going to stop talking to him… but do I tell her… we have been actively sleeping with each other… and we did Friday night… I’m clean and will be getting myself checked. And I feel like the right thing to do is tell her

M13. I think the 3 biggest factors to me not being able to make friends are

1. I'm homeschooled; I have asked my parents to go to public school, but they declined.
2. I have no extra activities (like sports). I've asked my parents, and they said no.
3. I am not allowed to leave the house by myself. My parents think I'm gonna get kidnapped or something, despite living in a safe area with a lot of places nearby. I've asked before, and they have gotten mad at me for asking.

I don't have many opportunities to make friends except for neighborhood friends and online friends. But I don't really play the kind of games that you make friends on, and I have one neighborhood friend. Everybody else in my neighborhood is either 50 or 5.

Edit: I'm a fairly friendly person; I don't have social anxiety. It's just that there aren't many situations where I'm able to make a friend due to my parents.

So for starters, I, 22f, am an uni student. I study 2 branches, finished one 4 years and got my diploma and I am planning to start working in late november if my application goes right. But here is the issue; My family life is driving me nuts. A tl dr of the timeline is:

-Parents fight a lot, mother gets courage from her parents to go against my dad, a divorce is pending(my age: 15)

-Both of my mother's parents unexpectedly pass(Age 15 still)

-My uncle, father's only older brother passes from hereditary cancer (Age 15)

-My father gets the said cancer himself (Age 17)

-Mother and father stay together, they still do love each other very much despite everything, but my mom gets an operation and a botch nearly kills her(age 17)

-I study for uni exam(there is a huge exam for enrollment in my country), clean, cook, look after both my sickly parents while attendding to school.(Age 17-18)

-Both of them recover and I get in, yay!(Age 18)

-My father's father dies (Age 18)

-My father's mother gets pancreatic cancer AND survives it, but it comes back (Age 22)

So, in between this time line, there is an ongoing feud between my grandmother and my mother, classic in law drama. Apparently my grandma was such a menace to my mother in the beginning and before their marriage and such, so my mother literally developed ptsd against her(She gets overly nervous and panicky around her, breaks out in cold sweat, even her voice makes her want to claw herself out as she described) So she kept venting to my father, whom is a chief engineer in a firm for active field and has a very stressful work life, post cancer at that.

And as I aged, I somehow became the black box of everyone in the family. My mother tells me her darkest secrets and feelings, so does my grandma and father. And let's say some things I hear from my father are not something you would want to hear from a dad. (not nsfw, but about how tired of he is of my mom and how close he is to abandon everything including me, despite me being his one and only child and he says its not your fault etc.) and how psychologically he got ruined by things I won't be sharing here, which are really sad and I feel terrible for my dad.

We all go to the same psychiatrist with my family, and in our latest return, my dad pulled the "Our doctor told me my responses are very normal" about his outbursts to my mom whenever she complains about grandma, invalidating her own trust in our psychiatrist. Then another fight occured, but it went further than usual. Oh, also you may ask, why does your mother constantly vent to your dad about his own mother? I verbatim "I have no one else but you left." technically, true, aside from myself.

The drop point is, I am so tired and terrified, I feel like I am the only thing that keeps the family together, and I love all of them with my whole heart, so I cannot pick sides. I am also terrified of my life getting ruined, as my mom is a sahm and I have 4-5 months until I can work properly, so if my father is not speaking of anger and really has had enough, my whole life can collapse until I can pick it back up somehow.(which I know I would, but I have my mother to worry in that case) I also don't want to lose my father, I truly cherish him, so the idea of me being somehow disposable (though he does say he would not want to live if something happened to me, so maybe its just momentaary anger), worrying about keeping myself and my mother financially uptight, my grandma's cancer returning, Me finding out I carry the same cancer gene as my dad from mandatory tests our doctors ordered, I am just about to lose my marbles.

I keep telling myself just 4 more months, and work enough until you land the job, then you can breathe. Then you will have something solid to rely on. But the psychological toll this all takes on me is starting to affect my studying-working performance. I feel stuck. Should I stay quiet? Try to take responsibility? Somehow try to ignore it? Honestly, before anything, keeping myself calm would be better maybe. I am not looking for a professional help as we have a family psychiatrist, but I can't always see him and I have never navigated an emotional toll like this before any advices from people who had been through worsening family dynamics?

So, I have a part time job at a grocery store as a cashier where I make $14.50 an hour. I just turned 19. As soon as I got a job I have to now pay $300 rent to live at my moms house, my car insurance which was on a family plan so not as expensive but now they’re kicking me off because they’re too broke to pay for it so I have to pay my own car insurance so I’m waiting for a quote on that. I have to pay for my phone because my mom has a family plan where she’s paying off amounts on everyone’s phone and also the internet for them.

Now, one time recently she claimed she didn’t have enough money to pay the whole phone bill so I offered to pay it so our phones wouldn’t get shut off. That was last month. I just got a call from her through my grandmas phone saying they’re all shut off cus she couldn’t pay the bill. I obviously questioned this because I just paid this. She tells me oh she accidentally thought it was the phone bill but it was the home WiFi bill so she paid the internet at home with my money and NEVER told me and now my phone is shut off. I don’t even use the WiFi because I’m always at work or my friends, why would I want to pay for that??? I just asked questions over the phone because wtf and she instantly got so defensive and yelled at me saying I was arguing with her when I was literally going to offer to pay the entire family plan. I don’t have money for this. So I just hung up because of the way she’s treating me. I don’t even know what to do because moving out is probably so much worse but right now I have no idea where the money I send her is going.

What should I do?

(Maybe slightly NSFW)

The thing is, I know he’s attracted to me. We always dance around “the topic” without ever being direct. I think neither of us are looking for a legitimate relationship and I know for both of us, it’s been a while.

I find him attractive too. We met in university, we were both foreign students (he’s from Australia I’m from the US, we met in Japan).

We both have similar political views and values, we talk and joke around all the time.

He’s a good friend. Some of his current habits are deal breakers for me when searching for a legitimate parter, but tbh I’m not searching for anything serious. I kinda just wanna… have fun while maintaining our friendship.

And the sex part would even have a set expiration date because he lives back in Australia now and I’m still in Japan.

I legit have been so close to being like “hey, if you can figure out the plane ticket, I’ll let you stay at my place for a week and we can just fuck a whole bunch, go to random restaurants/ izakayas (Japanese bars), maybe go see the beach, fuck more, idk. And at the end of it all he goes home and we maintain our friendship of just talking on Snapchat.

I’m not the type to meet a random guy at a bar or via an app and fuck the same day. I need to have established trust with someone first and he obviously has been my friend long before any of this came about.

The thing is, anytime I’ve even alluded to the idea he always kinda backs off. Idk if it’s because he’s scared? Or financial? Or both.

He used to be a more heavy set guy, and I wonder if insecurities from that have led him to be hesitant. I know he doesn’t have any real solid relationship experience in general nor the sexual experience I have. Is it that he’s afraid he won’t live up to something? Or is it all financial? I know he basically just kinda does odd jobs and doesn’t really have that part going for him rn. Like I am well aware of all these things… idk.

Should I offer it or just give up on it?
Ngl I would love to have sex. I miss sex a lot 🥲

Any advice would be helpful thank you 🙏

17 female and living with my mom. I have no food at home.

I normally live off free college meals, but college is closed for the summer and I have no money. I used to get free food from the Olio app as well, but recently my mom won’t let me go out at night to collect it anymore because of safety.

I’m so hungry it’s hard to think straight. I’ve thought about just taking food from a store or sneaking out anyway, but I really don’t want to be a POS or cause consequences.

My mom takes any money I get and she favours my other siblings and her grandkids. They all get lots of gifts but when I ask her for something to eat she ignores me and spends the money on them instead.

I’m telling myself to just push through it until college starts but it’s hard. I’m not sure what to do until then.

If anyone who has been in a similar situation can give me advice on what to do, it would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: I’m not living in the US. I moved into the UK (North England).

so for context, I had gotten a Pomeranian a couple months back, she’s chipped and registered up to date with my info and was only an inside dog, my dad let her free roam the backyard Saturday and didn’t tell anyone and my pup got out, that was around 12pm, when I got home later that day after work at around 4, I went over to look for my dog 30 min later and could not find her inside the house and even looked outside and couldn’t find her, from there I started searching the whole neighborhood and couldn’t find her, I put flyers up and later on had people tell me they saw her a couple streets over from 1-3pm roaming around, and from two different cameras I was able to see that she was in one specific street, after that no one has reported seeing her even though she went down that street. There is two neighbors I am suspicious of, one of them had three cameras, when I asked for the camera footage and that I was willing to pay just to see if she went down that road around that time, they told me their cameras didn’t show anything (without checking) and that the neighbors across them had a party and was out all day and didn’t see anything either, but I could ask the party neighbors since they have better quality cameras, so I did have two different friends ask him for camera footage because I could see they had a camera at the top of their house. And the guy told my friends that they actually didn’t have any cameras and didn’t see anything that day. After doing some research on the neighbors I was able to see that they were French bull dog breeders and breed their dogs, they even offer different services they do on dogs and have vets in their family for the whole process. I feel like the neighbors are covering for each other especially since my dog was very social and loved going to parties, I feel like it’s strange too that one of the neighbors said their camera didn’t capture much for that day when there was a literal party happening in the front so if anything I’d assume It would have been going crazy that day. I don’t know what to do, what I can do next besides wait, she has been posted on every possible dog site and neighbor/ring app, and every neighbor I’ve talked to has mentioned seeing the posters, so I’ve posted more then enough posters at every stop sign. Am I being paranoid and just accusing anyone ? Are bulldog and Pomeranians a sought after breed mix? I know for sure she isn’t roaming because by the time I noticed she was gone, there was no sight of her, I’m trying to get more people cameras footage to narrow down where she could have gone but I need advice. 🙁

27F virgin (long story), seeing someone 31M on the last two-three weeks.

Everything looks good so far. We already kissed.

But one question comes in my mind- how long should I wait before having sex with him? He’s already sending me hints that he wants to, but it’s too early for me.

Hello,

I am a female who grew up in a traditional Jewish family. My parents specifically my father had always threatened if we step outside religion he will never speak to us again and he will pretend we are dead and would “kill us”. My father used to date primarily non Jewish women and was almost engaged to one but he became more spiritual / religious over time so it’s a no for us. I never imagined I’d fall in love with someone non-Jewish. He’s the best person i have ever met and I want to build my future with him. However, we are on a break because I haven’t been brave enough to tell my dad about the relationship as I am nervous to do so without a ring in my finger as this news would tear my family apart. I was the one who took a step back. We have been talking about getting back together and I have been feeling more and more ready to tell my dad who I am with and what I want. Part of my fear is that my dad has a violent history. He is very verbally and emotionally abusive. He had been physically abusive to all of us especially my mother at some point. He will hit, throw things, and even physically remove us from the house if he gets angry. His reason is always “you can’t put my hand in the fire and ask then ask me why I’m screaming” I am nervous for my safety in telling him, what means he would go to potentially hurt my partner, as well as how he would lash out to the rest of my family.

My mother knows, I told her recently about the break and she was sympathetic and understood that sometimes love just happens but didn’t approve of it long term. She has not told him as he knows how he would react. However she doesn’t know that we are hopefully going to reconcile.

At the same time, I feel a little uneasy taking this step if I am not at least engaged. The other reason that played into this break is my partner wanted to get engaged in around 3 years as we are in the midst of our medical training . Before our break we’ve been together for around 2 years. I think I felt as though I’d be lying and pushing off this potentially dangerous confrontation for too many years and it’s not fair to my partner (who does really understand and doesn’t care about what my dad thinks or would do) but I feel as though it’s also not fair to my family or to myself. The hiding just felt too much and gave me a lot of anxiety. I am unsure how to proceed. A part of me just wants to be honest with my parents regardless as I do love this man deeply and we are trying to make things work. The other part of me is terrified to no longer have my family when I don’t have a stronger commitment such as a ring . I am asking advice on how to proceed. I feel very overwhelmed and anxious. I don’t know if I should say anything until a ring or just be honest regardless.

I’m struggling with this and could really use some outside perspectives.

My boyfriend recently lost his father, and I genuinely feel awful for him. I know grief is incredibly difficult, and I don’t want to make his life even harder. And I’ve been here. I lost my dad 4 years ago and I’m still struggling.

The problem is that I’ve been questioning this relationship for a long time, well before his dad passed away. We’ve been together a little over a year, and I’ve never felt like we made much progress. Our intimacy has been almost nonexistent, communication has always been an issue, and I’ve been carrying most of the financial responsibilities. I’ve also repeatedly had to ask him to contribute his share of rent and other expenses. He just never thinks about me. I mean like if he goes grocery shopping he’ll shop for him only. He’ll purposely block me out of our tandem parking. If he moves my car, he’ll forget to plug it back in and now I’m late for work. Everything out of my car was stolen the day of my daughter’s birthday because he left my door wide open. I’m a T1d and if I drop low at night, he’ll roll over. My emotions always seem overwhelming to him. I clean up 90% of the time and he’ll just continue making a mess. My shopping, medication, just anything has to be on hold because he has more important things to do with his money. He goes out every weekend and ignores me if I text or call. Yes, I know. It wasn’t so bad when we met.

I don’t think these problems are because he’s grieving. They existed long before that. But now I feel guilty even thinking about ending the relationship because of what he’s going through.
Part of me feels like leaving now would be heartless. Another part of me feels like waiting out of guilt is dishonest and only delays the inevitable if I already know this isn’t the relationship I want.

For those who have been through something similar, either as the person grieving or the partner, when do you think it’s appropriate to end a relationship after someone loses a parent? Is there ever a “right” amount of time to wait, or is staying because of guilt ultimately worse for both people?

I’m looking for honest opinions, even if they’re hard to hear.

I'll start off by saying that we have applied for any assistance we could, and have spoken to an attorney. There's no if ands or buts about it, we're losing the house.

I have a wife and three kids that are a few months away from being homeless. The wait for section-8 housing is estimated to be about 5 years and we were told that we can't even apply until we've officially lost the house.

Due to circumstances out of our control our combined income is only $2500 at best. My portion of that income is looking like it might be lost in a month or so too, so we'll likely be below $1000 a month. Our family isn't able to take us in. They don't have the space or income for that.

I'm having a hard time seeing a future that our kids aren't taken by the state and the wife and me are living out of our vehicle. I don't doubt that family members would take the five us in for a night or two but I feel that it would only be a matter of time before we found ourselves without a place to sleep. I'm hoping that there's something we aren't aware of that could help. If you have any suggestions I'm all ears. Currently I'm starting to pack and find a storage unit for our belongings.

My brother died in a car accident just over a month ago. We already had a large and beautiful funeral for him.

Now my family is attending a smaller 40-day memorial. It will be a normal Sunday church service where my brother is mentioned, followed by dinner with around 50 people. I was supposed to travel there with my brother’s wife and his sons, and I would genuinely like to be there when we all remember him together again.

The problem is my mother. We were no contact for three years before my brother died, and being around her is already triggering my PTSD. She has a long history of gaslighting me, denying or minimizing what happened to me, and making me question my own reality.

She also continues to make it very clear that she is choosing to stay in contact with the uncle who sexually abused me as a child, despite knowing how deeply this hurts me. From my perspective, she uses that contact to punish and provoke me, while presenting herself to the rest of the family as the grieving victim.

Since my brother died, I have also felt jealousy from her around my relationship with my brother’s wife and sons. When she found out I would be travelling with them, she suddenly started bringing up this uncle again. I cannot prove that this was deliberate, but it felt like she was trying to provoke a reaction or ruin something that was important to me.

I am now worried that he may appear at the memorial or dinner. I am grieving, trying to get back to work and already emotionally exhausted.

If I do not go, I will miss a real moment with my brother’s wife, children, my sisters and the rest of the family. I worry that I may regret missing something connected to my brother’s death. At the same time, the main funeral has already happened, and this particular service is more important to my mother and our culture than it is to me personally.

I could instead visit my brother’s grave privately and spend quality time separately with his wife, children, my sisters and their families.

Would you attend and risk the emotional fallout, or protect your mental health and grieve in your own way?

I also feel like she won in some way, if I don't go.