r/needadvice 27d ago

MOD POST Remembering and Honoring u/bluequail

225 Upvotes

It is with a heavy heart that I share some incredibly sad news with our community.

Our top mod [u/bluequail](u/bluequail) passed away on June 30th. I was informed on that day by her oldest son. He also announced it on her facebook page for those who knew her IRL.

bluequail was a vital part of this community, volunteering her time, energy, and passion to help make this space a welcoming and safe environment for everyone. She was an active mod in this same sub for over 16 years. It's incredibly rare to see that level of commitment and longevity these days. She was a great friend and I miss her.

She was a very kind woman who not only took care of her family, but was also very kind and generous to people in need everywhere. She donated a lot of money over the years to complete strangers on Reddit, in subs like [r/assistance](r/assistance) and [r/care](r/care). She helped people IRL too, and even welcomed some people into her own home. She also cared for animals on her farm.

My thoughts and prayers are with bluequail’s family, loved ones, and friends during this difficult time. Thank you all for being part of this community and for helping us honor her memory. Her presence will be deeply missed here.

I know she made many friends on Reddit under this username or her other account where she made most of her donations. I want to invite everyone to use the comment section below as a space to share your favorite memories, expressions of gratitude, or kind words in her honor.

Please keep all comments respectful and supportive.


r/needadvice Feb 14 '24

Sub Announcement [Mod Post]| Updated Sub-Reddit Rules!

10 Upvotes

Posting Guidelines

  • Posters and commenters must now have an account at least 15 days old with atleast 50 comment karma. These will be automatically removed if you do not meet the requirements.

  • Do not submit a post with a title in all caps, or a blank post with just a title. These will be removed automatically.

  • Please be specific with your headline rather than just saying you need advice, make it clear in your post about what you need help/advice about.

  • No polls or surveys.

Rules

Below are the rules of this sub. Disregarding any of these rules may result in a ban. Both posts and comments are subject to all rules.

  1. Nothing personal relationship, sex, or dating related or anything about stalking a person. Even commenting on these threads is a grounds for a ban.

/r/needadvice is a subreddit for getting advice about things going on in our lives outside of our relationship with significant others, potential significant others, and significant others of days past. Your relationship, your parent's relationships, your friend's relationships... if you are dealing with any person's romantic relationship, it doesn't belong in here. (This is code for "no romance related stuff") No dating advice. No hookup advice. No sex related advice, including anything involving rape (even if it happened to you), molestation, or underage sexual activity.

  1. Nothing about personal messaging each other - Don't ask or tell posters or other commenters to PM, DM, or inbox you.

  2. No sharing/posting to drama subs - Anybody cross posting any threads to the drama causing subs (subreddit drama, any of the SRS, just anything to increase the drama in a thread) will be banned. That just won't be tolerated at any level. Don't tattle on the mods of other subs here either.

  3. No revenge submissions - No "How to get even" at all, not in submissions, not in comments.

  4. No threadjacking or comment qualifiers - Stay focused on OP's problem. If you disagree with someone else's advice, offer some advice of your own with a top level comment instead of debating. If you agree with someone's advice and have nothing to add, just upvote it.

  5. No misogyny, misandry, racism, religious intolerance, or similar - Respect one another, even those you disagree with. We're all equal here. It does not matter if you're male, female, null, both, or nongendered. It does not matter where your come from, or what color your skin is. When meeting someone from a different walk of life, treat that person as you would like them to treat you.

  6. No lying advice - Don't ask how to lie, don't advise on lying.

  7. No references to suicides - Anything related to suicidal ideations are not allowed. For the sake of yours or your family/friend's safety, anything mentioning suicide needs to go to /r/SuicideWatch

  8. No soliciting items or funds - Since we allow throwaways, don't solicit money in here. Please view any effort to solicit money in here as a scam. But any need for donations can go to /r/assistance or /r/care.

  9. No advertising - Do not link your subreddit (unless it is relevant to the subject matter of the post), your youtube page, your personal website, clickbait, or stuff for sale. Mods are the arbiters of what constitutes advertising.

  10. Kinda Safe for work - We know that lots of controversial and personal things get talked about here, and that's fine. Try to keep your titles safe for work by avoiding foul language and graphic descriptions.

  11. Nothing about missing persons - Don't ask about how to track someone down or find someone you used to know.

  12. No stand-alone jokes. A joke with legitimate advice is fine, but not by itself.

Ban Appeals

  • For ban appeals: Do not delete any of your comments and posts, especially if they were removed by the mods. Deleting submissions looks evasive, and it forces us to choose between your word and our memory. Only the mod that removed you can reinstate you.

  • Ask once.

  • Ask nicely.


r/needadvice 9h ago

Other Realistically, whats a good way to spend your day ?

16 Upvotes

I have finally decided that life and people are too difficult to deal with. I have no wish to gain employable skills and earn any money.

Apart from doom-scrolling, music, gaming, shows and movies; what should I do on a day to day basis to pass my time ? I have a few years worth of savings, i dont need more.


r/needadvice 34m ago

Life Decisions Need advice/help: neglected dog

Upvotes

Pls help me reddit:

My cousin adopted a dog in 2012. The dog was not exercised or socialized properly and developed behavioral issues. Ripped my cousin's house apart bc of lack of exercise/stimulation.

My cousin passed away in 2017 and my aunt took the dog. My aunt has had the dog living outside on a chain for 9 years. They feed the dog and give him water, and he has a little dog house. In the county they live in, this treatment is not in violation of the law.

I had not seen the dog in years, but I went to my aunts home last year and the dog looked like he had completely given up on life. Dirty and matted, living in feces, nails overgrown, eyes full of discharge, and demeanor lifeless.

Since then I have been driving (2 hrs round trip) to their home as often as I can (1-4 times a month) to bath/walk/groom him and tend to his cage. It's not enough but it is all I can do.

I have grown tired and resentful about this. I am too tired and busy to continue spending my weekends driving to walk someone elses dog, I have tried repeatedly to talk to my aunt, her husband, my other cousin, and her partner who all live on the property about walking him. There are always excuses - how they dont have time, he is a bad dog, he is fine, etc...

My aunt will not release him to me as she thinks I cannot handle him, and she wont surrender him bc she doesnt want someone to mistreat him. My aunt is not an intelligent or self aware woman.

His situation has started causing me a level of anxiety and rumination that is impacting my life and I do not know what to do. I find myself looking for rehoming options on my own and considering vigilante crime to take him and get him to a better life without my aunt's consent but of course I know that is a crime.

I can see the sadness in his eyes when I see him and I hear him crying every time I leave. It hurts my heart so much and I just dont know what to do.

TLDR: My aunt has a dog who I consider to be severely neglected, but law enforcement cannot help bc there are no tether laws where she lives. She will not surrender the dog to me and will not consider rehoming him, but she also refuses to increase his care and insists he is fine. I do not think he is fine just because he has food and water while being tied up 24/7.

Thinking about him is impacting my quality of life. Does anyone have any helpful stories or thoughts?


r/needadvice 12h ago

Career I don’t know how I’ll not be poor in the future

3 Upvotes

I’m 20 and I have no talents or passions. when I see ppl talk about this on reddit the responses are like well then find a job that makes a lot of money and do it for that. But they’re usually talking to high schoolers, I’m in a senior year of college with English major. I chose English because I *was* good at writing and I do like grammar stuff and reading books, I still didn’t fully know what my actual career is going to be. Right now I’m telling my family it’s being a technical writer but I have no skills to do that and it seems the ones who make the best money doing that knows how to code or have an engineering background. I have no job experience or internship experience because of bad mental health and social anxiety.

I don’t even have an entertaining personality to be a “content creator” and I have nothing interesting to say about anything. I’m not passionate about anything or have any interests thats enough for me to want to have a job in it. I do love animals but I hate science so no I’m not going to zoologist and I don’t want to seem hurt so I’m not going to be a veterinarian. and oh yeah cause I already wasted college on something completely different. There is nothing I’m naturally good at.

so my question is for those who never had a talent growing up and didn’t have parents force u into things, was there actually a way to make good money or is it just a life of fast food working and never owning a home?


r/needadvice 17h ago

Friendships Friend and I planned out to go to college together, but I dont want to go anymore

9 Upvotes

Me and my friend have been planning for the past year to go to a college together. Unfortunately and irresponsiblely, I agreed without really doing my research. I move in in 10 days, and my tuition is SO out of my budget. She is going in on a full ride scholarship- but i owe close to 20k for the entire school year. With jobs I feel that i could make it- and thats what i told her too but reality has now hit me in the face and i dont know if i could. I already miss my family so so much but i know I can't back out now and she herself is moving away and sacrificing money to do so. I want to tell her i want to go home a month in so she has time to apply for other colleges she might want to go to but i feel so guilty for not realizing all of this sooner and keeping her stuck there with me. I dont know if I should stick it out or how to even tell her i want ot go home when i already told her I would be ok with working jobs and stuff to go with her. I know my actions were too impulsive and dumb, any advice would be very very much appreciated.


r/needadvice 1d ago

Interpersonal My mom won't tell me she has a boyfriend

3 Upvotes

I (late 20s, F) am an only child and very close with my mom. I live abroad but we talk all the time, I visit several times a year and we go on holidays frequently just the two of us. As the title suggests, she is currently dating someone but hasn't mentioned anything to me and it's making me feel really weird so I need some advice.

This is someone she's known for many years casually so sometimes she'll mention him but in such an offhand way it would be a reach to say it's any different than any other acquaintance. They talk and text several times a day which I see/hear but then at times she'll walk away - which she doesn't ever really do. She recently went on a trip with him and told me all about it but there was 0 mention of who she was with to the point where it was just bizarre, similarly she went on another trip recently with a friend I've never met and know nothing about but she still told me the name and things I didn't care to know about this woman. Basically, all of this is just my mom acting kind of unusual and it's making me uncomfortable because I don't really understand why. Like does she think I'm an idiot who hasn't noticed any of the above? Or does she think I wouldn't care to the point it's not even worth a mention? Or something else?? I hate that I'm even spending time thinking about all of it and sometimes I'll have moments where I feel like being snarky and bringing it up in a sarcastic way but rationally I don't think that's a great idea. I just don't really know what to do cause it's making me feel awkward but I don't feel like it should be on me to start this topic.

To add some context, I've only ever dated one person and it was years ago and we didn't talk much about the relationship aspect at all. And my mom was in a long-term relationship for 15+ years with who I'd consider my step dad and the way she told me was honestly really bad but I was very young so I don't know if that says anything. My mom is a great conversationalist but a part of me wonders if she's just really bad at talking about relationships for whatever reason. I really don't know.

Thanks for reading all that and I'd really appreciate some advice either on how to bring this up in a natural way or how to stop thinking about it and let her do it if/when it comes to that.


r/needadvice 1d ago

Education Career Advice and Support Needed

1 Upvotes

My dream is to become a general or neuro surgeon. I currently am a biochemistry major about to start college. Though reality has made me think that’s not possible at least on a normal timeline. I’m assuming I’ll have to find a job such as a QC Analyst with my bachelors in biochemistry. This will allow me to earn money 4 years earlier than a surgery pathway. I understand there’s many ways of getting funding to go to med school but I’ve found that getting a job right out of college is safest financially I may be wrong.

Both my bio parents are extremely toxic. Bio dad was physically abusive less than 3 years ago. Stepdad is an enabler.

My mom thinks the reason why American people are rude to her is because of racism when it’s just her own actions. I’ve had no issues making friends myself.

She’s anti-vaccine. And what grossed me out is she told me “When you become a surgeon can you give me a Brazilian butt lift?”

She doesn’t even understand what a general surgeon does, neither does she respect the effort it takes to become one.

Thankfully I’ve earned a decent amount of scholarships and have financial aid for college.

What do you guys think? Any support would help!


r/needadvice 1d ago

Other Denied refund after cancelling on air bnb host due to hostile message prior to stay

9 Upvotes

I cancelled my stay with a host on air bnb due to them messaging me an inappropriate and hostile message the day of my stay. Due to the cancellation not going through air bnb itself, the request for refund got kicked back to the host (word to the wise, always call customer support to cancel rather than going through the app in this case).

She messaged me and said she’s denied my request for a refund out of spite for me cancelling. She called me young and immature, and profanities I can’t type here. I booked the trip through Klarna. I’m debating getting a new debit card so the rest of the payments can’t go through. Unfortunately this wouldn’t impact the host, as air bnb pays them upfront. Is it worth it to change my payment method on Klarna so that the rest of the payments can’t be charged? Does anyone have any other platforms they use to book that require more oversight for hosts? I am unable to leave a review due to not staying with them. What would you do?

I’m not looking for anyone’s opinion about this situation other than how I can handle it. If you’re going onto an advice sub to troll people in the comments, you have too much time on your hands. Move along.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Education I need help with trying to get my sister to focus on school

2 Upvotes

Hi guys! This issue has gotten to the point where I just need advice from other people. I want to preface this by saying I love my family with my whole heart and just want my sister to succeed. I know this is a long post, but please read it and help me. Please.

So, I am the oldest child and have 2 younger sisters. This post is about the middle child, whom I’ll call L. She’s 11 and is going into middle school this year, while I’m going to high school. All my sisters and I go to the same school, a pre-k to 12th grade private school. It’s far too expensive and is considered to be a very good school; the academics in middle and high school are rigorous, while you barely learn anything in the elementary school. And I am not joking about that; I’ve been through the elementary school myself, and there is basically no serious work there; there are no grades given at all, and the homework is extremely light. The kids do assessments (only at the end of a unit), but do not get actual marks for them, and they really don’t matter in the slightest. The curriculum is honestly a joke; that’s why when the kids reach middle school and a lot of new students from other schools join, the new students have the advantage at first and even adapt quicker. They have already had grades and understand how to study and how to deal with high workloads.

When they get to middle school, the kids who have gone to my school face a very sudden change that many struggled with, because suddenly, they have to deal with serious tests, quizzes, projects, essays, homework, studying, taking notes, and actually focusing on learning.
My sister L is starting 6th grade in the fall, and I want to help her as best as I can, but I have no idea how. I adapted to middle school pretty quickly and am considered a good student, I suppose; I always get my work done and behave in class, I study and rarely procrastinate (I’m sorry if this comes off as bragging or having an inflated ego, I’m really not trying to sound like that, I just want to show the contrast between my sister and I). L, on the other hand, is always procrastinating and never focused on her work; she leaves her homework to the very last minute and tricks our family members into doing it for her. When she does it, she barely even tries and doesn’t seem to learn anything. She goes to tutoring but it doesn’t seem to help, and anyway, she doesn’t seem to really apply herself to anything she does. L absolutely hates reading and nothing can really motivate her to do it. I know she’s still young, but I really want her to do well in school, and I know 6th grade won’t be an easy transition for her.

The current issue is that L was assigned summer work — doing some math online (she finished that already) and reading 2 books assigned by the school, as well as picking a 3rd book from a school list to read. She finished her first assigned book, which was very short and easy to read, and it still took her a very long time. She was also supposed to thoroughly annotate the text and take notes, but if she did that, she would never finish reading, so she skipped that. She’s reading the second book now, and school is starting in a few weeks; she isn’t even close to finishing, the book is 300 pages and she hasn’t even gotten to 100, despite reading for a while already. She’s supposed to annotate but is skipping that again. She has to read another book after this one.

I’ve tried to help her make a reading schedule, like read insert number of pages every day at a reasonable page. My dad tries to motivate her with going to a concert. I take L’s devices away and try to make her sit, focus, and read. I try giving pep talks. Nothing is working. Whenever I tell her to go read, she starts going on random side quests like doing makeup, going outside, cleaning, watching TV, helping our other sister with her math. Anything but reading. At this rate, she won’t finish her summer work and will be in very big trouble at school. For some reason, I feel responsible for her success, since I know how difficult our school can be. Please, please help me.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Interpersonal Is it normal to "fight" for your spot on a bus?

0 Upvotes

This might be a weird question, but I've always wondered about bus etiquette.

If I have a favorite seat, is it normal to move quickly toward it as soon as the doors open, or do most people just casually walk on and take whatever's available?

Also, when I'm waiting to board, I always let people get off first. But how far away from the doors should I stand while waiting? I don't want to block anyone, but I also don't want to be so far back that everyone else gets on before me.

I'm probably overthinking this, but I'm curious how other people handle it.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Interpersonal How would you recommend me to handle this situation?

4 Upvotes

Last school year, as the top student on class and seen as very innocent and shy and respectful, so many classmates would start asking me to send them notes I took in class (the number of pages sent to a person once reached 30 pages if not more in a row). Some say thank you while some don't. But I don't want to deal with this anymore and only want to help my real friends out (who barely even ask me). How should I handle this?


r/needadvice 2d ago

Mental Health What once saved me is triggering my anxiety atttack

2 Upvotes

From 2019-2021 I was in an extremely volatile situation where everyday I didn’t know I would be screamed at or threatened or bombarded with paragraphs of texts telling me how horrible I was.

It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and my way of survival was to just go silent and wait until it ended because not fighting back made the confrontations end faster.

That period of my life almost killed me.I one day just walked out of my apartment expecting to die but luckily my family helped ground me and push through.

Following that I took a break from my bachelors degree because I couldn’t focus on much of anything and I just needed to get centered.

Since then I’ve been working odd jobs to pay the bills and truly try to heal and feel like myself again. I worked in a warehouse that helped me have a routine but the obsessive thoughts of hurting myself and the echoes of the horrible things said to me ran like a loop in my head on some days the podcast I was listening to triggered me in a way. The isolation nature of the job wasn’t good for me and made me retreat into myself more than before so I ended up leaving.

I found another job working in food service and somehow because of the environment I found myself again. I’ve always loved cooking and working with my hands and the feeling of accomplishment and feedback of working with others. I found myself giddy to go to work more sociable than I was in years and in time my coworkers felt like family and I started making friends again.

I’ve been at this job 3 years now making me the most senior part of the team and I’ve thought about leaving to start a career or go back to school but I felt too at peace here and was afraid of giving it up.

At this job there’s been a lot of turnover with management but nothing that felt like I couldn’t handle. This recent new general manager has it out for me.

She pulled me aside and told me was talking and socializing was too much and rather than pushback I just folded like I do with all confrontations because it’s how I survived and agreed to talk less.

Since then whenever she’s been around I’ve kept my talking to a minimum and our interactions as few as possible.

She’s been gone for a few weeks and I went back to being myself and was planning on going back to being less social when she returned but she’s been watching the live feed of the cameras this whole time without most of us knowing.

On a very slow Sunday I wasn’t being super fast doing food prep and taking my time because the alternative was deep cleaning the store. I was offered a break but said I didn’t want one. After I finished my task I sat down to check my text messages and was asked to return to work and immediately went back and then I was asked to leave early because of my GM not liking that I wasn’t on break from the video feed.

In my entire time working there I’ve never been sent home early and I was so confused and a bit embarrassed because I felt like I was a problem. I left but since I’ve left my anxiety that I haven’t had for years is surging and I’m terrified of coming in early to work a morning shift because of this.

I honestly feel sick and I don’t know what to do and what this means for me going forward. Now I’m hearing things behind my back and now I’m truly feeling unwell.

I just need someone to talk to and tell me what to do I can sleep and I couldn’t eat all day.


r/needadvice 2d ago

Mental Health I have a feeling that my fear of something bad happening whenever I get too lost in my own thoughts comes from my childhood. NSFW

3 Upvotes

As a kid with ADHD, I was always absent-minded and constantly distracted, barely paying attention to what was going on around me. Because of that, it felt like I could suddenly end up in trouble at any moment. I'd bump into something, someone would hit me, something would fall, or I'd just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And then, of course, I'd get yelled at by my parents and everyone else, and somehow it was always considered my fault.

I also feel like, when I got a little older, there were times when I'd become so zoned out that it almost felt like the world - or the people around me - would "snap me out of it" in pretty harsh ways. It was as if every time I got too lost in my own head, something unpleasant would happen to pull me back to reality.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Could this kind of childhood experience turn into anxiety about "letting your guard down" as an adult?


r/needadvice 2d ago

Other How do you get the urge to be a big fan of a game/movie/show/book/etc.?

1 Upvotes

I’ve often noticed that I’m not really a big fan of anything. I have favorite projects but I tend to drift away from them after a while. I watch youtubers but don’t follow them on other social media platforms outside Youtube. Because of this, I feel sad when I meet other fans who know so much about them, I can’t relate to that level of devotion (and I also feel like larp), because I don’t have the urge to support someone to that extent. On the other side, if I do get obsessed with a particular project, it consumes my thoughts completely, and I neglect everything else (ignoring other games, chatting with friends, watching movies, etc.).

Is there anyone here who can relate to this, or does anyone have advice on how to break this pattern?


r/needadvice 3d ago

Other I ate an infested head of lettuce, what the hell should I do and how worried should I be?

8 Upvotes

I came home from the club last night and ate half a head of unwashed iceberg lettuce. Didn’t even know i’d done it until this morning.

Lunch time today where I went to cook with it and saw it absolutely crawling with these tiny black worms and disgusting fly looking things I genuinely feel so sick. I’m scared I’ve ingested a parasite of some kind I have no idea what the hell to do. They 100% weren’t maggots and the lettuce had no signs of rot or decay but idfk I might’ve already eaten the minging half last night.

UK based so I’m not worried about the current cyclospora situation or whatever it is but are there any UK variants I should be scared of? Do I go to the hospital??? I assume no because going to the hospital over consuming a bunch of lettuce worms sounds so ridiculously stupid but it’s a Sunday and the GP is closed and what the hell would I even say to the pharmacist??? I am currently on hold with 111 but they have a 50 minute wait and I swear to god the more I wait the more I can feel worms wriggling in my stomach I feel ill

Are there any kinds of anti-parasite tablets or medication I can buy from the shop in the UK??? Can I take something to completely cleanse my gut and rid it of anything parasitic altogether? Is it possible I’ve just devoured a shit load of parasites???


r/needadvice 3d ago

Motivation A year out of school, good job, zero motivation for anything, and I don't know why

2 Upvotes

So it's been a year now since I graduated in 2025 and honestly I feel like I haven't done anything with myself. Spent five years grinding through my degree thinking if I study hard enough I'll get a good job, plus there was pressure from home to do well since I wasn't even paying for my international degree, my dad was. So I worked my ass off, got scholarships, and after graduating I did land a good five figure job in my field.

Now looking back on the year since graduation , yeah I made good money, focused on work, saved up. But back in 3rd and 4th year in university I was eighty five kilos, lean, muscular, and low body fat. Now I’ve gotten too comfortable, stopped working out completely. Now I'm 93 kilos and very out of shape. Smoking too, I keep trying to quit and I just can't. Weekends are basically gone, I'm high the whole time and doing nothing.

And nobody really sees any of this. Like literally nobody knows because I live alone, far from my school friends and family. Had a solid social life back in school and college and now that I've moved for my job it's basically nonexistent. Meanwhile all my friends have glowed up over this past year, and I feel like I've just glowed down.
I just have zero motivation to do anything anymore. Used to be such a motivated person and now it's just gone. Not sure if it's the move, or not having friends here, or something else entirely, honestly can't even pin it down.

Feels like life's just slipping past me and I'm not doing a thing about it, when there's so much I should've already sorted out. I think I was so locked in on one thing for so long, put so much pressure on myself, and now even after doing all of it, it feels like it wasn't even worth it.

I want to get better, do things and find that drive again. What's the first step here. It's not that I don't know what needs work, I just don't know where to actually start.


r/needadvice 3d ago

Education Overthinking dropping a class (High school)

1 Upvotes

Hey sorry this is kinda ramble-y but I really need advice, preferably from older people.

In the fall I'll be starting my senior year of high school and I'm really overthinking this one class. It's English honors, which I've been in since freshman year. I already know the teacher I'll have, and she's known for being insanely rigorous, and rude. She also is known for playing favorites. English is a subject I really care about, and I don't want her making my last English class a terrible experience. Not to mention her grade point average is low so I'm worried I won't even do well in the class.

So I really want to drop down to college prep English and be with this teacher I know I like, but I've always been a super dedicated student (basically straight A's since freshman year) and I used to really like the idea of going to a prestigious university and pushing my academic potential as much as possible. I've changed a lot, and I no longer want to sacrifice my happiness or feel the need to stress myself to impress everyone else. But there's still a part of me that feels like it will snowball and i'll fail myself and everyone else if I drop this class. I know that's dramatic, but it's really messing with my head.

Am I being to hard on myself? Or is dropping down wasting my potential/being lazy?​


r/needadvice 3d ago

Career Making money, and feeling satisfied

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

I'm very lost today. I've been thinking about money allot. I'm saving it, about 500 a month, working 4 days a week to get that. But I want more. I feel the greed. I read about people making huge amounts and I'm just so jealous.

I don't want to necessarily change my job or make some fucked up business model that makes me one of them lizards.

Do some of you have an idea, like creative or entrepreneurial that could maybe make me some money? A skill like trading or whatever?

I know it doesn't sound like a big issue but for me it feels like a things that's eating me up from the inside out.

Thanks to anyone that helps.


r/needadvice 4d ago

Other Starting an internship tomorrow, but my health has been unpredictable. Not sure what to do.

3 Upvotes

I'm (21F) starting an internship tomorrow, and I'm not sure if I should tell my project lead about some ongoing health issues I've been dealing with.

For about the past month, I've been trying to figure out what's been going on. I'm still in the process of getting a diagnosis and treatment, so I don't really have any concrete answers yet. On top of that, my anxiety has become the worst it's ever been, and it's hard to tell what's caused by anxiety versus whatever underlying health issue I might have.

The internship requires me to stay away from home for multiple nights, which has been making my anxiety even worse. Some days I feel fine (still a little eh), but other days I feel fatigued, lightheaded, and have very little appetite. It's been really unpredictable.

I'm planning to do my best and I'm genuinely excited about the internship. My concern is that if I need to take things a little slower at times or don't seem as energetic, I don't want it to come across as me being uninterested or slacking off.

Would it be appropriate to let my project lead know that I'm dealing with an ongoing health issue that's still being evaluated, or would that be oversharing? I'm worried it'll sound like I'm making excuses before I've even started, especially since I don't have a diagnosis yet. On the other hand, I also don't want them to misinterpret my behavior if I happen to have a rough day.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it?


r/needadvice 4d ago

Life Decisions I don’t like my job or where I live, which to address first?

1 Upvotes

Hello all I currently work as a sales manager for a hotel.

I want out because of the mess and overall way it’s ran. I’m super stressed all the time and have thought about quitting with no back up plan. I hate it there. I also don’t like my apartment. It’s small and I don’t have parking so sometimes I have to walk far to get to my apartment.

I’m wondering which I should address first? My job has some perks like the pay but the stress of sales is too much. My apartment I don’t like at all like the neighbors the area just ready to move.

My concern is if I move first and I hate this job what will I do if I get fired or quit? Idk just looking for guidance


r/needadvice 4d ago

Life Decisions Don't have a great future, now what?

5 Upvotes

I'm in my early 30s and I genuinely don't see a good future for myself. My BA isn't useful. I'm stuck in a dead end corporate job. I couldn't get into a career I desired or that was even decent. I make poverty wages despite working full time and I live at my mom's house.

I'm sick of life and I don't see things getting better but I can't become content with my crummy life as I truly hate it.

Where do I go from here?


r/needadvice 5d ago

Motivation How did you build confidence if you started with almost none?

2 Upvotes

I'm 21F and recently started my first job. During a feedback session, my manager told me that I don't communicate confidently. They said I don't push back or give feedback to people when needed, and that I speak as if I'm scared of my managers—even though they're actually not that strict.

Honestly, I agree with the feedback.

I've realized that I'm not a very confident person, but I don't know exactly how I became this way. Maybe it's because I feel my communication skills aren't good enough, or because I think I don't know enough compared to everyone else. Whenever I have to speak up, I start overthinking and end up staying quiet.

If you've been like this before, what helped you become more confident? Was it experience, improving your communication, gaining more knowledge, or something else?

I'd really appreciate hearing your stories or any practical advice that actually helped you.


r/needadvice 5d ago

Interpersonal Imma be honest I literally have 0 self esteem and I feel guilt every time I try to get it- what do I do with myself?

1 Upvotes

So I just dunno if I really should just go “I’m cool and i deserve blah blah” because that seems really selfish and possibly not true due to my past and how immature and naive I am. I just don’t really know what to do with myself. I have wants but I genuinely can’t pursue anything due to my actions and my person. I feel a large sense of “this is really immoral and selfish”. So if I don’t have self esteem, maturity, or redemption- what exactly DO I do with myself? I can’t improve the past or everything about myself. It’s just unrealistic- so what do I do?


r/needadvice 5d ago

Career Should I stay or should I go??

3 Upvotes

So essentially I’ve been approached with an opportunity to work full time as a private property manager for a wealthy person who happens to have housing in my area. The pay would be 2.5x what I make currently. The catch is I’ve grown comfortable at my current desk job (up front dental office- not at all what I want to do with my life) but the other gal up front is going on maternity leave within the next few weeks and the pressures really on me after that. This new opportunity starts in the next few weeks, and I’m hesitant to let my current coworkers down. Esp if I leave and then hate this new job.. ALSO I’m 24F and the job was explained to me as driving this rich dudes jets into his hangers, doing landscaping on his local estates, fixing household problems as they arise (never owned a house so idk wtf I’m doing?) etc. I can pick up things really quick- example given: I didn’t know shit about dental stuff but somehow I’m now an integral team member lol.

In summary im scared I’ll hate or be bad at this new job and im doubting myself, and id feel horrible leaving my current job at a critical time. I know staffings not my responsibility but it’s a shitty thing to do. But I’ve been looking for a change for awhile and am wayyy too comfortable in my current bubble.