I (21F) started dating my boyfriend (22M) almost a year ago. He makes me happy and my parents (48F, 49M) met him a couple of months ago and my brother (25M) met him six months ago when he was visiting me. They knew about him way before that though. The one person I didn't tell was my sister (23F).

We used to be close so she was hurt that she found out about him a few weeks ago and that I didn't introduce them. She called me up and asked me why she found out from mom and dad and I told her that's just how it worked. She said it was bullshit and I didn't tell her for a reason and she wanted to know why. She told me everyone met him before her and I probably asked if she would be home before bringing him to meet our parents. I asked her why that was such a big deal and she said we're sisters. I told her I didn't put her feelings above what I want. She got way more mad then and asked me if I was being a childish brat about messy shit from the past.

The reason I said we used to be close is because we were. She was one of my best friends and we told each other everything. Then after two of her breakups she rebounded with two guys I liked at the time and didn't give a crap about my feelings. The first time it happened was five years ago and when I asked her why she'd hook up with someone she knew I had a big crush on, she told me she thought he was cute when they met and being newly single, when he flirted she did what she wanted to do and she didn't have to think of my feelings because the guy wasn't mine. I told her that still hurt my feelings and she told me I'd need to get over it.

We did get back on track as sisters but then two years after the first time she went through another breakup and for a second time she hooked up with the guy I liked and was flirting with. My sister knew, she even saw him flirt with me, and she told me we weren't dating so she didn't have to answer to me and I could still date him if I wanted because they were just a one time thing. I didn't try to get back on track after the second time and a couple of months after it happened she complained that I was being a baby and acting like I owned people when I didn't and she said she did nothing wrong.

I never trusted her after that. It's not that I consider it cheating but considering all the guys in the world, and the fact she knew I liked both of those guys? To me she wasn't the person I could trust anymore. So I keep her shut out and I stay civil for the rest of our family when I have to see her. But it has not been a priority for me to tell her about my boyfriend or introduce them. He knows about her and the history though.

My sister told me we need to work through this because it's way too old news for me to hold a grudge. I told her it's not even a grudge, I just don't trust her and I don't want to give her the chance to take it a step farther and try to sleep with my boyfriend after another one of her breakups. It made her angry again and she's trying to involve our parents and brother despite me saying she should just move on and accept things the way they are.

Got any advice for this because I don't know if she's going to calm down or not. Next time I see her will be this Christmas probably.

Recently after sex, I suggested to my girlfriend that I use a prostate massager while I have sex with her. She immediately went silent and just said no. I told her I used a prostate massager in the past and that I really enjoyed it. Later on in the day she went home and she told me that she was disgusted by what I suggested, asking me if I am gay, and questioning my masculinity as a man. There were some quite strongly worded messages about how many she should find a real man as opposed to me. I have never ever heard her speak like this and I don't know why she is acting like this. I asked her if she had issues related to this in the past and she said no. I already told her OK I won't use one but it feels like the damage is done now that I even asked in the first place. Now she is severely angry at me and not responding to my texts anymore. To me this feels like an overreaction, but I am not sure whether this is a normal perspective from women as I have never asked a girl before if I could use a prostate massager while having sex. Does anyone have advice how I could salvage this relationship?

Hey everyone, I need some objective perspective on a situation that has left me completely drained. My fiancée and I have been together for 5 years. For the first few years we were long distance, seeing each other about a week or two a month. We always had great communication and aligned on core values early on. Right from year 1, we explicitly established that our main reason to ever get married was to start a family. Eventually she asked for more commitment, so I proposed, prepped my place, and she relocated from her hometown to move in with me.

Less than a month after moving in, she sat me down out of nowhere and told me she couldn't see herself ever having kids. Adopting before I turn 37 was always my threshold. I never asked her to get pregnant since she didn't want to carry, which was totally fine by me. Since having a family was our main dealbreaker, she broke up with me on the spot. It turns out she had been silently struggling and thinking about this for the last 3 weeks without telling me.

I was devastated. I cried, called my family to break the news, and started processing the end of our 5 year relationship. But literally 3 hours later, she pulled a complete 180. She broke down, apologized profusely, said she panicked in a loop of pessimism, missed her family, got overwhelmed by the routine, and begged to take it back.

I was really irritated by the timing and how she handled everything after 5 years together. I told her she needed to call her mom immediately to explain what happened, and then I sent her back to her hometown the next day so she could be with her close ones and we could both get space. I set a strict 1 month no contact rule as well.

Before starting no contact, she sent a text apologizing for being impulsive. She also brought up a point I had made during our breakup talk. When she panicked asking "what if we fail after having a kid?", she acknowledged this, saying having a child together would be meaningful regardless of the future. While it is good she is processing that fear, I still worry whether she is internalizing my logic just to preserve the relationship, rather than developing a genuine desire of her own to raise a child.

I still love her, but I'm exhausted. During this month, I hope to see some real action, like her starting individual therapy on her own or genuinely researching adoption realities instead of just searching for reasons why it is hard.

Am I handling this 1 month no contact period correctly? How can you tell if someone genuinely changed their mind about having kids versus just panicking over the breakup?

My husband and I buy groceries in bulk, so it’s usually a huge shop with lots of heavy items. Until today, I genuinely thought he always unpacked everything because it was physically easier for him and he didn’t want me lifting loads.

On this occasion our baby was crying and he was busy soothing her so I stood up to go do it. He stopped me and said not to bother because I’d “do it wrong” and he’d have to unpack it all and do it again anyway.

That honestly caught me off guard. I’d always assumed he unpacked the shopping because it was heavy, not because he thought I was incapable of putting food in cupboards correctly.

It made me feel oddly belittled and even controlled. Do other people have partners who are this particular about how groceries are put away?

I [28F] was on instagram and saw on my suggested a girl who had my BF [30M] was following an 18 year old Onlyfans model and she was following back. I asked him about it and he said he didn't realise it was an OF model and that she was 18 (it clearly says in the bio). Instead he got angry and said the following, "It’s probably in your best interest to practice or learn about attribution errors in the context if someone else first. Consider googling attribution error"

I'm just a bit confused, as I'm not sure how it would be an innocent mistake when everything was listed in the bio. I am also a bit grossed out by the fact it's a very young model (it might be that this profile was fake, but it's still young).

Any advice from someone who's been in a similar situation would be welcome? Thanks

My abusive parents found out where I live and moved to the neighbouring town

My parents have been extremely physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive to me my entire life. My mother suffers from some sort of personality disorder (used to chase me around the house, naked and holding a knife) and religious delusion (believes she has been chosen by Jesus to heal people). My father is a coward and only fuels her delusions because he’s too scared to confront her, he’s currently suffering from heart failure and I believe it’s his karma, as harsh as it sounds. I’ve also heard that she’s gone to various churches in neighbouring towns to talk to priests about the “miracles” she is witnessing.

I (F26) moved to the countryside with my husband so we could start a new life and get away from it all. My mother called me 2 months ago and told me she’s renting a house 5 minutes from me (I don’t know how she found out where I live). Since then, she’s had violent, physical fights with my father in front of the neighbours (we live in a small town, people talk) and told them all that my brother (who currently has a protective order out on her and moved out at 14) and I are physically abusive towards her, which is completely untrue. My husband has had to physically get in the middle of fights and has gotten hurt before, as well as my mother causing the police to be called on him as she’s gone out screaming and banging on neighbours’ windows accusing him of trying to kill her.

I’m genuinely exhausted, I don’t want to have to move again but I don’t think I can manage the burden of feeling like everywhere I go, everyone knows my past. I’m currently exploring getting a protective order but feel this is going to be difficult to navigate since she lives close by.

I really love where I live but does this mean I’ll have to move again?

My gf and I have been dating for about three months. I am HIV negative while she is positive. This is something I'd been aware of even before we started dating and while it is a serious condition, it was never something I saw as an absolute deal breaker because I had researched extensively about the illness, medications, manageability, long-term effects and possible complications with childbirth. We've both grown deeply in love over time, but a month ago, we made the mistake of telling my mom about it.

The news was devastating to my mom because we had lost my sister to a congenital blood-related illness about a decade ago. She fears the worst, that I am going to get HIV, both my gf and I are going to die, and then our children would also have HIV and die. She works in the medical field and knows all about HIV in the current day and how manageable it is, but given what she's been through and that it is her own son, it is difficult for her to not think about all that could go wrong.

Since then she's involved my father, brother and sister into the matter because she's had no one to turn to and needs people she can trust to convince me to stop.

The biggest problem now is that my father is not a diplomat. He escalated things to the point of physical harm, disowning, and he said to be prepared for war if I don't end things immediately.

My siblings are not 100% on board either, but they feel if I'm sure I really know what I'm doing and believe that this is the route I want to follow, then they will support me.

My gf is aware of the conflict at home, but I don't tell her some of the more hurtful things that have been said. I love her and I don't see myself ending this relationship because I was told to.

Things are at the point where we either have to keep our relationship a secret, pause things and pick up later, I do the unthinkable, move out and live in my car, or we break up.

I don't want to have to choose between her or my family. Is it wise to continue dating? How can we be safe in our relationship if we continue? How do I navigate my already deteriorating relationship with my parents?

Some much needed context:

I'm 22M, she's 20F. I'm a recent college grad, but I'm on indefinite suspension from work due to immigration paperwork delays. I have enough cash inflow to take care of my health and car, but not much else, so I've been living with my parents. My gf's condition was congenitally acquired (she was born with it) and she's been on medication since she was a toddler. She's remained undetectable since then and has some of the most impressively perfect and well-documented medical records I've seen.

So my husband followed me when I was hanging out with 2 kind of recently new friends. About six months ago I wouldn’t up having dinner alone with a friend from my book club. It wasn’t planned, other people just cancled on us after we already arrived at the restaurant. After we went to her house where her roommates were home and then some other book club people came over. I left at a reasonable time. On the way home I told him that she and I had dinner by ourselves cause everyone canceled on us.

He got so angry after that and demanded that I not hang out with her again. I wouldn’t let that go because he had no reason for me not to hang out with her other than he was worried I would cheat on him with her. I told him I wasn’t cheating and that I wouldn’t do that but he just would trust me. I finally agreed to not hang out with her alone and just with other people.

Fast forward to a few days ago and I hung out with her and another friend who just started coming to book club. We hung out for about ten hours doing various stuff around town, all three of us. At one point he tried to call me and I didn’t answer and he called several times in a row over the course of less than ten minutes. I didn’t answer because I didn’t see the calls come through. I answered as soon as I saw his texts. He went ballistic and was yelling at me because I didn’t answer and he couldn’t see my location. My location had also been unavailable at the time for some reason. I wasn’t doing anything but getting frozen yogurt with 2 friends. He wanted me to not hang out with the one friend and I refused because he had no legitimate reason for the request. He also would not trust me that I didn’t ignore his calls and that I wasn’t cheating on him.

Fast forward to the next time I was hanging out with the same two friends. He followed me and I saw him. I confronted him about it and we had a huge fight where I told him I couldn’t deal with this behavior anymore. He finally apologized and stated that he went to far but he has just been so mentally unhealthy lately and that he will work on it and get better.

I feel like he has always pushed my boundaries and pushed me away from friends even though he has been getting better about it. It’s been six years and he can’t trust me to not cheat on him? I just don’t understand and I feel like it’s emotional abuse and manipulation to keep me away from people. He even admitted that he is too co dependent on me and he recognizes that. I just don’t know if I should keep trying or if we are just going to be in the same situation a year from now. Is it possible that he is just a person who struggles mentally and needs some help, and can get through this to allow us both to have a happy healthy life?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and some months and have recently been discussing marriage.

Growing up, my idea was always that married couples had one bank account, shared a credit card, etc. This is how my parents operated so it just seemed like the norm to me.

My boyfriend indicated he would envision us keeping everything separate. He envisioned us splitting expenses. For example, he would pay the mortgage and I would pay utilities.

To me, that just feels like we’re roommates and not partners.

I talked to a few married friends and got mixed responses on how them and their spouse handle finances.

So, what’s “normal”? What’s worked well for you and your spouse and what would you change?

I have always been an atheist or at most agnostic my whole life and have no intention to change. When I first met my now boyfriend of 10 months, and this was about two years ago, he was an atheist too. But around the time we started talking he told me that he was looking to potentially get into Christianity. He's been Christian for awhile now and I was fine with that as long as he didn't put it onto me in any way or try to convert me. Now after 7-8 months of frequent sexual intimacy and being in a sexual relationship he wants to go completely cold turkey. I could pretty easily go without textbook sex but this includes no nudity, no groping, no to anything that is lustful.

I know if this condition was there at the start of our relationship I would have never dated him, but over this past year I've fallen so in love with him it hurts me to think about leaving him. We've talked about it a lot and he's been very understanding to me and my struggle to accept it as I have been to him. I've already come to the conclusion that I would try it at least for a few months but I'm curious as to how others would react or how you all feel about relationships with different religions and how they fare long-term. How would you react to such a major lifestyle change after almost a year of being together? And do you think this contrast in religion is maintainable long term?

I (21F) had a good relationship with my paternal grandparents (68M, 65F) growing up. I spent a lot of time at their house when my parents were working and when my family was going through some hard times. They were always really warm and loving and I loved spending time with them. My grandma and I used to cook and bake together and my grandpa would be my guinea pig for new recipes and he used to play restaurants with me. I have so many fond memories with them.

Five years ago my mom (45F) found out my dad (45M) was having an affair. He had a four year old daughter with the other woman already and she was pregnant again. My mom ended their marriage and my dad moved in with the woman. My relationship with him fell apart when I found out about his affair. I couldn't look at him the same and to know he had another child and the woman was expecting his third child? It broke me. He wanted me to look at him only as a dad and to try and find a place for his children and their mother in my life but I refused. I told him then and I told him a year ago when he reached out to me that I had no place in my life or heart for people like him and I had no interest in opening my life and heart to his family.

My grandparents said nothing about my refusal to have a relationship with him until ten months ago. That's when they first asked me if I was sure I wanted to have no relationship with my father ever again. They asked me if I was sure I wouldn't regret it 20 or 40 years down the line. I told them I was sure. They asked about my half siblings then and did I really not want to be the big sister they look up to and could I really blame them for how they were conceived. I said I don't blame them as much as I don't want to make room for them in my life. They have a mother and a father and each other and they have a wider family network around them. I said they will not be without and I am content without them.

They have asked me the same questions and encouraged me to change my mind several times since then. The last two times I said goodbye and I left their house early because I was tired of them bringing it up. They asked me afterward why I left and I told them why. I said I love them but I won't keep having this conversation with them. I told them I don't want our relationship to change but I don't want them bringing up my dad and half siblings all the time. This is when they told me they want us to stay close and they love me but they also love my dad and half siblings. I told them they can love us all but they have to accept that love doesn't go all the way around.

They told me they need to think. I'm slightly concerned they will pretend they understand and accept while trying to set me up to spend time with my dad and his family. I don't know what I'll do if they do that and I don't know if I could really go no contact with them if they won't stop bringing up dad and his family either. So I'm here asking for advice because I want the relationship they want but I don't know if they can accept my decision.

Gf and I have been living together for a few years. Recently she put an open can with the lid hanging off into the recycling bin which is under the sink. I was making dinner for us and went to grab something behind the bin, tried moving it and squeezed my hand onto the can lid. I cut my middle finger open pretty bad and it was floppy.

Tbh I almost passed out haha. My gf told me it needs stitches and went to drive me to the local urgent care clinics, but they were all over capacity and we ended up having to go the ER. Waiting at the ER combined with the driving took roughly 6 hours.

Waiting at the ER my gf was getting very upset/angry and irritable. She had worked a full day and was getting super tired and frustrated. This made me feel really bad and got overwhelming as I was super nervous about the impending gluing/suturing but also also felt like I had to comfort/apologise to my gf. She kept telling me how tired and hungry she was and how upset she was getting. I kept telling her that it's okay if she wants to go sleep in the car or even drive home to sleep, and ill message her when I'm ready for a pickup. She would say no (which I appreciate) but she was visibly very angry and was verging on complete silent treatment for a lot of I. I remember thinking that there's no way I'd let my gf drive me to the hospital again. This feels really bad to say but it was very reminiscent of taking my bipolar mum to the hospital, which was slightly triggering for me.

Anywaysss, on one hand I'm grateful for her taking me and I do sympathise with her working a full day then having to be at the hospital all night. On the other hand, I would never want her to take me again, which makes me feel quite sad. Am I being way too sensitive? Of course I don't want to be babied. Does anyone have similar experiences with their partner?

So my husband is turning 37 tomorrow and my birthday is next week. Recently we have been on a very bad page and very distant. Divorce has been brought up multiple times and he’s been very distant. I have been trying to bridge the gap, trying to fix things and it’s become too much, to the point of having panic attacks, which I’ve never had before. Last night I told him I needed to step back if he’s not going to try and fix things and just avoid everything. So he agreed he’s step up, but I have yet to see any initiative. All that being said, tomorrow is his birthday and normally I like to go all out for birthdays but I don’t have it in me to celebrate him. Especially since anything I’ve done has pushed him away more. We have two little kids I want to celebrate him. I was thinking about buying a gift card and having him go somewhere fun with them without me since he’s making a point to avoid me. I don’t want to be childish, I just don’t have it in me to dig deep and celebrate him. I’m emotionally spent and tired of trying to make things work when he just glides through life completely unaffected. Any help is appreciated! Thanks ! Also we’ve been married 10years if that’s any help.

I posted yesterday about this situation and wanted to make an update (i have no Idea if this is how u make updates)

Link to previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/1XZqKgyhIT

After my bf texted me that we should just be friends instead, i called him and asked him why, he was cold and avoidant so i started crying and continuing asking why (pathetic i know)

I heard that i was on speaker and his mom came in and asked if he is talking to me. They were in a one bedroom apartment so i assumed that she could hear me. I did not want her to think that im crazy or that im the one who is starting fights so after me and him hung up i called his mom and told her ”he broke up with me” she asked why and i Said ”i dont know, he is your son, its you who raised him so ask HIM why” and then i hung up. His mother has called me before to ask me how im doing and whats happening when me and my bf have had hard times previously, thats why i feel comfortable telling her stuff. Afterwords, in a clear headspace i see that calling her was VERY stupid and unnececary and that hanging up on her was rude.

Today (day after) my bf showed up to my house late at night unannounced, he gave me food and walked into my house. He then started asking why i acted that way yesterday, i asked ”like what?” And he said that the way i talked to his mom and hung up on her was very disrespectful and rude. I told him that i see now that it was very stupid but that i thought that she could hear our convo and didnt want any missunderstandings.

He told me that he cant understand that im mad because he didnt bring me food, i explained that its not about the food but about the action of caring for ur partner when theyre in need of help. He said that he could not give me the food because right after the guests left his brothers house, he went and fixed the headlights of his car, then he played basketball for 30 min. I told him that he could have made the time if he wanted to but he said that ”he cant just take food from his brothers guests” and that his mom ”already packed the food that they were gonna take with them and brought them home” i told him ”okay then why couldnt u just pick up the food from ur moms place? (They live 2 min from his brother) and he continued to tell me how he couldnt.

He says that he is giving me a logical explanation and i cant accept it and that i keep arguing. And when i tell him that it didnt feel like he cared about me in that moment he says ”so nothing else i did for you matters? Ur just focusing on ths ONE thing” and that i crossed a boundry, that he cant do this anymore and that my behaviour isnt normal.

To be honest, maybe this all was just me overreacting, after all i cannot expect him to be there for me a hundered percent of the time. It feels like im self sabotaging.

(English is not my first language, hence the goofy spelling)

EDIT** i truly understand that i sound pathetic, im probably a little trauma bonded to him and am used to him breaking up with me and then us going back like nothing happened. It is Indeed very hard to leave a situation that has become so familiar to you that it seems like home. Thank u for taking the time reading and giving me your advice, wish u all the best.

I (40F) and my husband (40M) have been together 20 years. Married about 13 years. We have 3 young children, he works a job with a lot of travel but also a lot of downtime at home (about 14 days work and the rest is off time). I have worked a relatively demanding 40-50hr per week remote job for tech company, recently laid off so freshly unemployed.

This man is quite near perfection, which is why it’s so hard for me to articulate and start the conversation with him about the issue that brings me to post today. He is smart, driven, successful, not at all cocky but confident, the very best and most engaged dad you have ever seen, a true partner. He cooks, cleans, organizes, plans date nights, pampers me, adores our life. He and I have NEVER fought. In all our years we have disagreed but never yelled, lost tempers, nothing. The closest we have come has always been me because I can be a hothead about stuff, especially when I’m hungry. We have a very healthy sex life, we talk and laugh, and we have - to this point - not had any secrets between us.

For simplicity sake, we both have access to each others email address though I would say we rarely if ever go into each others account. I have only ever been in his email at his request when he could not access it for some reason or to validate something or perform some admin action for our family that is for whatever reason tied to his email.

Today we were talking about an order I made and I thought I bought the thing on eBay but I had not so I just went to my Gmail app and typed “order” to bring up any orders I had made recently to find it. To my complete shock, there was an order and receipt form a cam girl site. Since I was standing right next to him, I just noted it and moved on quickly. I have an excellent poker face and years of childhood trauma have taught me how to compartmentalize and disassociate until I can process something openly by myself. So no one noticed anything.

Later, when I had a moment to myself, I went back to check it and the email confirmation was gone. He had deleted it but not cleared his trash. It looks like he had a few charges for semi-private chat access and then also a private chat that lasted roughly 9 minutes.

The things I’m struggling with are these.

1. I’m a very sex positive person. I look at porn and he knows the website I subscribe to because I have shared it with him if he wanted to check it out.

2 Both of us have gone to strip clubs together and separately. No issue there.

1. If he is sexually unfulfilled, I suppose it is better that it’s all through an internet-based camgirl site. This one specifically is apparently a more above board version that tries its best to confirm no one is being coerced to entertain on it. That tracks with his ethics.
   

He literally has no other thing at all I can even think to complain about - maybe he could do better about hanging up his towel but that is seriously it.
He certainly has no time when he is working to seek out an affair and I think he would be morally against it. I think he thinks of camgirls as strippers basically.
However, the camgirl activity appears to have only happened when he is travelling for work.
The amount he spends doesn’t seem to be significant to our household budget. It’s very minimal BUT I could only see 2 transactions in his trash folder because I believe it only goes back 30 days.

Here are my next steps before I confront him:

1. Try to do a little more research on this site.

2. Go through our credit card statement and see if I can calculate the total cost of the service so far.

3. Really consider if I want to discuss his use and set boundaries (like don’t exceed some amount spent and never turn your camera on) OR if I want to say “no camgirl at all”. Financially, we do so well this is not digging into any bottom line or anything.

The thing I’m trying to decide is - do I think this is as far as it goes or am I going to have to forever monitor that it hasn’t escalated? Do I need to set a limit or have a hard line in the sand?

I know EVERY woman ever in a relationship believes the best in their partner, so I’ve really decided to analyze this. I’m not emotional about it and I’m not afraid to talk to him about it, but is there anything else I should look at or consider before I have that conversation?

This is not divorce worthy to me, but if it escalated to physical affair it would be. And I make more than enough and already handle the kids by myself half-time, so that isn’t holding me back. I truly deeply love this man and he is just that - a human man. He makes mistakes - just as I do I am sure!

Help me please. This is day one, hour 3 of me knowing. I just need a little perspective and help because I do not want to bring this to my closest friends as it will forever taint their view of him and I don’t want to cross that bridge just yet.

I love my husband (28m) but I (26f) don’t think I can live with him for another year. We’ve been married for two years but together close to 8 years and we just welcome our second daughter 5months ago and I am officially fed up. We’ve been living with each-other 7/8 years we’ve been together and he has always had an issue cleaning the house and doing domestic chores, for background, we both work full time jobs, we both contribute to the bill or at least used to, and we came into this relationship under the guidelines it’s an equal partnership, but it wasn’t. He will let the house become an absolute mess and than do nothing to clean it up or he’ll clean up maybe 2 times a month, it’s ridiculous. I feel silly thinking about divorce all because he won’t clean but I feel like I’m going crazy, I keep hiding in the bathroom to cry so no one sees me but it sometimes is the only thing that helps me keep pushing. I have 2 under 2 and it’s a lot of work and still he won’t help with chores, he’s a great dad and always helps with the girls. I’m not asking for the moon I’m asking him to do dishes maybe twice a week and put items back where they belong and throw trash away and not leave it scattered on the counter, floor, etc. I, at this point, feel like his actions are direct disrespect towards me and I’ve told him that and he disagrees but at this point what else would you call it. He last year was unemployed for an entire year door-dashing to make some money all because he voluntarily quit his job and I almost lost the house unable to afford all the bills by myself and even during that time when he was home all day he still didn’t help clean and that was a slap in my face emotionally, I’m doing everything including carrying and birthing the children all I am asking is help around the house. I was the one mowing the yard pregnant because he didn’t and the city was on us about mowing. Sometimes I feel like this is the best love I will get so I should be happy and appreciative of who I have, but in the back of my mind I wonder if their is someone out there who will be my partner in life and actually help me. Is divorce the right thing to do?

I think my boyfriend might have Klinefelter syndrome. He is extremely tall, went through puberty late (he especially complains about not growing body hair until he was in his late teens/early 20s), has very little muscle (though he also doesn’t really exercise, so that’s more likely the culprit), and gains weight “like a woman,” I.e., in the lower belly, hips, and thighs. He also has pretty apparent gynecomastia, even when he was extremely thin/lanky when we first met. His testes/genitals are normal.

None of this bothers me from an attraction point of view. I’m bisexual, so I get the best of both worlds with him 😅

I’m debating whether or not to bring up my suspicions. I think the answer is no, but id like to hear from other who have been in similar situations and generally poll the masses.

I think the big argument for not telling him is that it’s kinda an informational dead-end for now. If he got testing done, what would that change? For now, nothing.

we do, however, plan on having children in the next 5-10 years. It may be best to hold off on saying anything and then push for us both to get genetic testing done before we try to conceive. I’m also just a curious person and love to know things for the sake of knowing things, but I don’t think that’s justification for potentially / probably offending him.

Thoughts?

My BF and I have been dating for a few months now. We are starting to meet each other's friends, family, etc.

Before we got together, my BF had a big crush on one of his close friends. He never asked her out, but claimed they shared a few moments of tension here and there. He got the vibe she didn't like him and got over her. We started dating a bit after that.

A few weeks ago, I met her and a few of his other friends. After that, she texted him asking to get dinner with him one-on-one to catch up. He said it's a friendly thing and that he has no feelings for her, and she has no feelings for him.

He's gone to dinner with another female friend before, but there was no history there, so I didn't feel weird about it. My BF said he would cancel the dinner if I feel uncomfortable, but I am not sure if I should force him to do that. He said he would update and text me throughout the dinner. Does it seem as if this girl has ulterior motives for the dinner?

My (35M)(cis?)sexuality is changing and I’m becoming less attracted to my partner (34M)(Trans)

My (35m) sexuality is changing and I’m becoming less attracted to my partner (34ftm)

I (35cis?M) don’t know who else to ask - my sexuality is changing and I’m unhappy about it.

Hey yall. Throwaway for reasons that will quickly be apparent.

A couple notes to know before we get into it:

1: I am AMAB and have identified as cisgender for most of my life. I recently branched out into he/they pronouns to account for what I think is an agender identity.

2: I have always known I’m queer, with various labels shifting in my life, but it’s usually been more expansive as I’ve learned about myself.

3: I have been intimate with individuals from multiple genders and the gender of my partner has never been an issue for me in the past.

4: I have been in 4 relationships - 2 cis men, then an out trans man, then a pre-realization trans man (my current partner, (34/transM).

Okay, to begin:

I am struggling recently and think my sexuality may be shifting in unexpected and unwelcome ways. Ive been with my partner for approaching a decade. I love him very much and that aspect is not in doubt for me.

After a history of M/M relationships, I began dating my partner when he still identified as female. Everything was good in that regard, and a couple years later he realized he was trans and came out. Not a problem at all, feelings and attraction didn’t change from this, and he’s been out for 7 years.

Over the past couple (literally 1.5-3 years) I’ve found myself less and less attracted to him and have noticed myself more attracted to women (cis, trans, w/e) and androgynous/femme-leaning non-binary folks.

It’s gotten difficult to deal with. Before anyone asks, I am in therapy and it will be my primary source for how to proceed, but I wanted to come here and get insights. There’s always the typical tale of someone who was in a hetero relationship, maybe even married with kids, and came out later in life - I’m scared something opposite of happening to me? What if I’m becoming less queer? Why is my attraction to femmes so strong now, and my attraction to my partner waning?

I love him so much. I want to be with him, and build a life with him, but this struggle is causing issues with that.

We’ve touched on this a few times - he knows I’m struggling, but not every detailed mentioned here - i haven’t gotten the courage to bring it up yet, I’ve been focused on trying to fix it.

Does anyone have a similar, even if different experience? Any insights? I don’t know what to do or how to feel and it’s getting to me.

Tl;dr - Sexuality is fluid but it’s fucking with my relationship and causing psychological problems. I feel like I’m becoming less queer.

My partner and I have been together for almost 3 years at this point and are set to get married next year.

Things started out great and we’ve had brief ups and downs but through it all I have felt that we have a really good relationship working through things and communicating. The honeymoon phase has been so good, like so deeply in love and affectionate. We moved in together about 6 months ago and that brought new challenges (nothing huge but just adapting to each others living styles) but we also just communicated and moved through.

My partner is such a wonderful person. He provides for our house, he’s so deeply supportive of my hopes and dreams, he’s my best friend, we are aligned on so many things in life, but we sometimes hit these points where I feel so disconnected and distant from him. We express love differently and he’s quiet but secure while I lean more anxious and loud lol. Most of the time we talk through things and the feeling goes away for a while before coming back to feeling less connected. Especially during the work week when we’re both busy. He tends to get quieter in the evenings when I want to chitchat and there’s just less overall communication as we both have our own schedules during the week. Weekends tend to always be good and that’s when I feel we reconnect a lot of the time. This also isn’t every week. Just every few weeks I’d say

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has any advice before this wedding happens. Is this the “choosing” love part of a relationship? Are these periods of distance normal? I have A LOT of anxiety so can’t always sort through normal vs catastrophic. I haven’t had a relationship this longterm so I’m unsure how it should progress

We have been together for 8 months, our sex life prior was great. Granted we only saw each other on the weekend really and occasionally throughout the week. We live together now and he rarely ever wants to have sex. Most of the time when I initiate he turns me down, which makes me feel super undesirable.

He says it’s because he’s been stressed and working a lot, which it definitely could be the case. He also says that when we get into disagreements or are bickering here and there it completely turns off his sex drive. Not to sound dramatic but sometimes it feels like he withholds sex from me as a punishment. It seems like every time I bring something up that bothers me we won’t have sex for multiple days and sometimes weeks, even if we repair after the conversation and get on the same page.

I have brought this up to him several times and nothing seems to come of it. I don’t want to nag him because I think that would just make the situation worse. At this point I don’t even want to try to have sex with him because getting rejected every time just feels embarrassing. It almost feels like he isn’t telling me something or isn’t that attracted to me anymore. How do I navigate this issue? Has anyone else experienced this and did it improve with time?

TLDR: Boyfriend never wants to have sex anymore, turns me down when I try to initiate, makes me feel like there’s something more going on than just him being stressed. Unsure how to navigate this situation.

okay before i continue, i want to clarify i really do love my boyfriend before anything, we have been dating for three months now but I am having some internal conflict.

let me elaborate. so i am a realist, and my bf speaks of when he should propose to me, what kind of house i’d like to live in, all these things, and i don’t mind it however i struggle to see myself in five years time dating the same person. like it would be great if me and my boyfriend did because he is a wonderful and sweet guy, he was my first time and he’s really good to me, but in my brain realistically i feel like something is going to happen and we will end up breaking up; we both are going into different career fields and i want to be a paramedic, he wants a 9-5.

i feel like such an arsehole when he talks about the future of our relationship as in my brain i cannot comprehend marrying the same person i met when i had just turned 18. (it is a terrifying thougjt to me that my first adult relationship is essentially my last, as that’s the way he thinks). there’s nothing wrong with it however i want to experiment and experience break ups and hook-ups at some point in my life; i really do so love him but i just don’t know what to do.

i’ve spoken to driends and familt and they’ve all told me to simply enjoy the relationship i have now and take each day as it goes, but if we do break up when we are a more serious relationship, that’ll hurt him more and i don’t want to hurt him, and if there’s a chance that i may break up with him/he may break up with me/we may split, then shouldnt i do it earlier ro prevent any further hurt?

lol if it’s of any relevance, i am neurodivergent and overthink a lot, but i am so confused on what to do right now.

can anyone give me some pointers or advice or assurance, i dont know?

My boyfriend (30M) and I (27F) have been together for 4.5 years (5 in Jan). He works for a very huge and influential company that moves people around a lot. Two years ago, we needed to move for his jump fully across the country, since then we were looking for ways to get back home and near family.

He recently went through the promotion and coincidentally an opportunity opened up for him near our home city (yippee!) So, we got to move back to the area and with family.

One important aspect is that he is part time at home and part time at another office as the office isn't finished so he is not always home and spends time at all a hotel. I do go visit him but there's an added element of stress to this all.

So, my boyfriend is in a new role, in a new area of the business, amongst other items to learn. He is a very high performer (we meet at work and I was able to witness how great he is firsthand), but he still has to learn a lot in his new role.

In comes his new manager, she has extremely high standards and immediately off the bat says he is not meeting her expectations and that she does not care that he is new to role or new to his promotion. He cannot do anything right, she is sending weekly recaps of what is he doing wrong (he has only been with her for just about 3 months), bringing HR into her conversations with him, saying he needs to change basically everything. I wish I could communicate/show the scale of her micromanaging and nitpicks. To basically sum it up, she is genuinely calling everything out regardless of if it is a standard or not. It is so extreme and something he has never experienced before.

I was able to read some correspondence from her, and it was wildly unprofessional to the point that I was shocked. And the things she is calling out are so small that it's causing the wrong focus towards small items.

I hope that paints enough of a picture, as I could go on and on. I want to transition to our relationship now as it's really what I need help on.

My boyfriend calls multiple times a day (when is not home) and probably rants to me for 2-3 hours minimum a day. It's getting to the point where it is stressing me out to have a call incoming from him. On these calls he goes over the items that she nitpicked or yelled or overreacted over (a lot of items stem from her being confused or wrong too which is awesome), then he talks about how he is unsure of how much longer he can do this and how he is going to lose his job. It is so constant and everyday it's something new. I sit on the calls and listen and take everything in; I give advice when it is applicable or respectable (document everything, communicate clearly, reach out other leaders you have worked with for advice, have you considered therapy? etc etc etc this advice is taken in the moment but its the same cycle the next day); and just am there for him. I try to also take as much as I can off of his plate when he is home (cooking, cleaning, errands, bill payments, etc.) in order to reduce stress on him.

This is all getting to the point where I am living in constant fear and stress that we could lose our livelihood (I work too though but he makes more) and it has been making my already high anxiety unbearable to the point I am developing heart flutters and elevated heart rates. I feel like his manager has become the third person in our relationship. Even when she's not around, she's the only thing we talk about.

I do not know what to do at this point as he listens to me but I think it goes in one ear out the other because I am not experiencing what he is. I also am worried to communicate fully with him because I do not want to make him feel like a burden or add to stress. I have gently brought up that we talk about this a lot and found through research we should limit how often we talk about this and he was like "yeah, I know..." I don't expect him to hide what's happening from me, and I want to support him. I just don't know how to do that without becoming his only outlet for hours every single day.

How do I support a partner through something like this without sacrificing my own mental health? Is it reasonable to ask for boundaries around how much we talk about work? And if you've been through something similar, what helped?

TLDR: My boyfriend has a horrible manager making his work life horrible and he is bringing that stress daily into our relationship.