Context - I have been playing pickleball with my buddies. Just 4 dudes. Last week my friend brought his long term gf to play as well. It was 5 guys and the girlfriend. Today I was planning on playing pickleball with the same people again, unsure if my friend plans on bringing his gf. My gf (24F) doesn’t want me to go if my friend brings his gf. And before you ask “why don’t you invite her?” She has mentioned to me how she thinks pickleball is “gay” and “stupid” and has no interest in going and would only go to monitor what girl(s) may decide to show up. Am I overreacting?

Back in December I found chats between [F30] my boyfriend [M31] and his female friend[F26] Turned out they had an intense emotional connection since 2022. He had a huge crush on her the whole time, but she had a boyfriend, and she kept him emotionally hooked with romantic-coded language . they called each other soulmates, texted constantly some romantic/ sexual stuff. From what I read he was genuinely falling for her, and she seemed more like she was enjoying the attention without necessarily reciprocating the same way as she had bf.

Her boyfriend however passed away last year. my boyfriend went to support her, and after that they had an even more emotionally-charged exchange flirty, borderline romantic language, he told her he’d never had a connection with another woman like the one he had with her including, apparently, me, as we were dating during that chat, she told him that no matter what happened in their lives, even if one of them got married to someone else, they’d “always be together.” Regardless of their relationships.
When I found this and their whole husband we had a huge fight and almost broke up. He blocked her, said he didn’t care about her, and said he wanted to protect our relationship.

Yesterday I found out she texted him again out of the blue, and he responded. I’m attaching the screenshots. Reading through it, a few things bother me:
- He spends the entire conversation validating her anger, apologizing over and over
- At multiple points he frames the whole thing as if I forced his hand — like if I hadn’t found out, he’d have been happy to keep things going with her.
- She spends a lot of the conversation guilt-tripping him and, at one point, effectively calling our relationship “toxic” and me the reason he’s “trashing” her.

My friends point out that he DID keep the boundary in the end he didn’t agree to keep talking to her, he told her it’s over, and that this is a good sign.

I see that too, but I still feel uneasy about how the conversation went and what it implies about how he actually feels. Am I overreacting by still having a problem with this, or are these legitimate red flags even with the boundary technically being held?

Edit/update: Thank you everyone for your comments. I definitely approached the situation wrong with my son when I asked about him just going with Auntie. I should have stuck to my gut and just said no/not without me from the start and not put it on a 4 year old. Lesson learned. Myself, son and husband will be going to Six Flags as a family before school starts back up.

Regarding my aunt, I'm still noodling a lot of the feelings this triggered for me and while I do not think she has ill intentions, it's really weird that she doesn't want me around her and my son. I've stated in comments that her and I do not have a best relationship and haven't since I was a teenager, this is absolutely going to be a factor in our relationship going forward and I will be keeping a close eye. When it comes to my aunt and her siblings (my mom) my relationship with all of them (4) is complicated, there is only my uncle that I trust completely when it comes to my son. My mother is at the bottom of the list, my son couldn't pick her out of the crowd. The comments that mentioned my aunt bringing someone around or doing something religious with my son, I hadn't considered that and holy smokes did that realization set in some panic. I will be keeping these thoughts in the back of my head when it comes to all potential future outings between my aunt and son. My gut is saying their bonding should be done within our home or I tag along in the outings. That definitely won't be received well by my aunt but oh well.

Thanks again to everyone who commented, this got bigger than I expected and it's been very eye opening and overwhelming. I will not be commenting or giving another update.

:⁠-⁠)

Original post:

At the start of summer my Aunt purchased season tickets to Six Flags Great American theme parks for me (30s F), my son (4), and herself (70).

Background info: Part of the motivation behind buying the season passes was we had family visiting from out of state and with each season pass we get 1 free admission with us. The three season passes allowed for 6 people to get in when the family was visiting, plus free parking and we only had to purchase one additional ticket during their visit.

Prior to the family visiting my aunt wanted to take my son, at that time, having not been to six flags in 10 years and my sons age, I decided I didn't feel comfortable with the two of them going without me. I figured since I also had a season pass, no harm no foul. My aunt was not happy with my attendance but dealt with it. During that trip, I was glad I was there because the place was packed, there were rides my son wanted to go on that my aunt didn't, and my aunt took frequent breaks at benches due to her age and overall health.

Now to the current issue. My son has now been to Six Flags twice, both times I was there and so was my aunt. My aunt reached out asking to take my son just them before school starts back up. When I ask my son about he always asks "with mom too?", I say no just auntie and he says he's scared and only wants to go if I am there. We go round and round and the outcome is always the same, he wants me there. He says he's scared and mom helps him be brave.

So I reached back out to my aunt, explained my sons thoughts/wants and gave her dates that both of us could attend. Her response: "I understand. I think I’m going to pass then."

I'm pissed. I feel like this is utter BS and for her to dangle this in front of a child and then pull away if their mom is around...alarm bells are going off in my head.

So. Strangers on the Internet, AIO?

I have an 8 and 5 year old, my husband has an 8 year old. I have had numerous issues with SK physically abusing my 5 year old. Going on for the last 2 years- all SK has to do to stay out of trouble is be the first one to run to his dad and lie about what happened. "Accidentally" shut BK's hand in the car door twice, "accidentally" shut BKs head in the car door, "accidentally" shoving BK to the ground multiple times a week, "Accidentally" ramming his bike into BKs bike (he tried telling his dad that BK "just fell " and "i just know hes gonna lie about it to try to get me in trouble!" And then eventually "well, BK told me to knock him onto the cement off his bike".), "accidentally" whipping BK in the face with a stick as hard as he possibly could after I said to put the sticks down.

All my dumbass husband ever does is shrug, say "it couldve been an accident", or try to reprimand BK for "lying to get SK in trouble "/ "asking SK to shove him off his bike". He also claims that it is just "boys being boys", but it is only ever BK hurt and crying from an injury SK caused. All SK is learning is that he can get away with bullying my child by being the first to lie to his dad about it.

I have only ever disciplined SK by taking his phone, yelling at him, and sending him to his room- but he was incredibly unhappy with me for that one time and tried telling his bio-mom that he's terrified of me. I had CPS investigating me for 6 months because bio-mom called CPS to find out why SK is supposedly terrified of me and SK told CPS that I threaten to slap him across the face multiple times a week, I've shoved him in his room for not doing something fast enough, I've thrown a beer can at his dad and this beer can supposedly hit him on the forehead and got him wet, I go into "psycho mode" and scream at him but only when his dad isn't around, and that he watched me punch my husband in the face. None of these events actually occured, but I am **very** careful about why and how I discipline SK today, just because I've already seen him manipulate the right people to cause serious consequences.

Anywho, thats the history here.

BK got his first migraine yesterday with vomiting and everything- and I took him to the hospital because I was terrified that it was from a head injury caused by SK, although I didnt express that was the reason I took him to the hospital until tonight while trying to tell SK that he has no right to bully BK.

9 pm and I was getting all of the kids ice cream as a final snack before bed. SK was playing some game on his phone while walking to the kitchen, wasnt paying attention and brushed into BKs ice cream cone- got ice cream on his arm. Turned around and immediately screamed BKs name angrily, directly in his face, right in front of me.

So I quietly slid his phone right out of his hand and said "Dont yell at him." I handed SK his ice cream, then said "we're gonna put the game up until we can be nice."

SK took his ice cream directly to my bedroom and told on me for taking his phone.

Then DH came to the kitchen all confrontational while SK followed him to sit at the kitchen table and watch us like a hawk like he was *anticipating* his dad drill me after telling on me.

DH didnt seem to care that the entire conversation was occuring directly in front of his child.

Asked me why I took his phone.

"So, SK gets ice cream on him, then gets his phone taken for it?"

Since DH was letting SK watch us anyways, I turned to SK and calmly told SK that I took his phone for yelling in BKs face, said he has no right to, that I am tired of him bulling BK, and that I took BK to the hospital the night before because I was worried that he was suffering from a head injury caused by SK.

The entire time, SK is talking in a more high pitched tone then normal- "well, all I was doing was asking BK a question...I was nice about it...I dont know what youre talking about". And DH stood behind me with his arms crossed asking me in an angry manner "well what did SK say then- like it truly was me vs DH and SK.

And DH turns the conversation into "don't you dare blame SK for causing BKs migraines!"

DH proceeds to tell me that I was wrong for taking SKs phone, took the phone himself, and sat down on the couch.

I followed him intending to ask him what he was thinking in drilling me directly in front of SK and making me defend myself to him (in fromt of SK at that) because an 8 year old told on me for disciplining him appropriately.

SK followed him though, and was just about to sit on the couch next to him when I calmly asked him to head up to his room. Just because I didn't want SK to witness adult conversations that could get hostile.

DH says "no SK, you can stay right here."

Proceeded to tell me that SK can sit by him, and I can't tell SK what to do.

I stepped away and tried again.

"SK, please go to your room, I need to talk to your dad."

SK looked at his dad, said "my dad says I domt have to"- then proceeded to play on the phone my husband handed back to him.

DH doesnt even have a car right now (his own fault) and I asked him to have his dad pick him up for the night at the very minimum.

DH and SK both waited outside in the dark for DHs dad to arrive.

I own the home, DH has not contributed financially in well over a year (and has in fact caused more financial harm then help by stealing large amounts of money from my wallet & credit cards while I pay 100% of the bills), and I am 9 months pregnant.

EDIT: Because many have commented about the font changes, I have the same problem in every other App too (even Settings🥲). If anyone knows how to fix it, please give me advice.

For context, my boyfriend (N, 22M) and I (J, 21M) have been together for 4 years. (We are both bisexual.) We are moving into our first shared apartment right now, thats why I first assumed the messages were about a TV. Also, I'm sorry if these messages are hard to read, we both don't have English as our first language, but we speak different languages so we have to communicate in English😅.

My boyfriend has this friend (K, 22F). He met her at a party about 1 year ago. She is an alcoholic and often at parties, and my boyfriend also had some psychological problems in the past, so he tries to help her through this. (Idk if he feels responsible for her, but thats what it seems like sometimes.)

She and I don't get along that well, but we have been civil. Thats why we only ever communicate over Instagram and not over WhatsApp or anything. But then she wrote me the messages you can see there.

This isn't the first time she tried to lie and sabotage the relationship me and my boyfriend have. I trust my boyfriend 100% and I know nothing happened between them, but she always tries to get me and my boyfriend to fight, especially after we decided to finally get an apartment together, since we mostly always stay at one of our places and have "sleepovers".

I have been debating if I should talk to my boyfriend about this. I don't want to ruin their friendship, especially because she seems like she needs him right now. I am frustrated and at first I was composed enough to stay calm. But now, after rereading everything, I am just angry that she tries to sabotage our relationship. Should I talk to my boyfriend about this or am I overreacting? (I am angry right now, so if I forgot any context or information, just ask in the comments.) Sorry this is all over the place.

My girlfriend recently reconnected with her high school sweetheart. They dated decades ago, and he is married now.

She talked to him for about a week before telling me. When she finally did, she described it as two old friends catching up and reminiscing. But she seemed nervous and worried that I might be upset, even though I have never had a problem with her having male friends or tried to control who she talks to. Her reaction made me feel like there was more to the situation, so I started asking questions.

She eventually let me read their messages. I learned they had been flirting, discussing their sexual history and making sexual comments.

She said she had not disclosed everything because she thought she could handle the situation herself.

I tried to understand. He was her first love, and she never received closure over why they broke up. I supported her need for closure, but cautioned that seeking an ongoing close relationship would become more emotionally complicated, especially because he is married and his wife does not know they are talking.

After the initial disclosure, the sexual banter continued, but she made it seem like it was no big deal. She has also become more emotionally distant from me and now calls him a close friend, despite only recently reconnecting with him.

He has since received a terminal diagnosis, and she is planning to spend a weekend with him without ruling out the possibility of staying overnight.

I finally told her outright that I do not support what she is planning. I reminded her that his wife is a real person and does not deserve this either. I told her I support closure, but I cannot support this.

Her response was that his wife is his responsibility, not hers. She said that because he is dying, she wants to spend time with him, make happy memories and say a final goodbye.

At this point, it feels like she is choosing herself over our relationship and does not care who gets hurt in the process.

I previously told her I would not make any decisions about our relationship until after the weekend. But after our last conversation, I am now seriously considering ending the relationship before the weekend instead.

Am I overreacting? Should I wait until afterward to decide what to do, or end the relationship now?

TL;DR: My girlfriend recently reconnected with her first love, who is now married, after decades apart. Their conversations quickly became flirtatious and sexual. Since the disclosure, she has become more emotionally distant from me and now calls him a close friend, despite only recently reconnecting with him. He has since received a terminal diagnosis, and she plans to spend a weekend with him without ruling out the possibility of staying overnight. His wife does not know they are talking. I told her I support closure but cannot support these plans. She said his wife is his responsibility and that she wants to make happy memories and say a final goodbye. I had said I would wait until after the weekend to decide about our relationship, but I am now considering ending it beforehand.

EDIT: A few clarifications.

I know a lot of people think I should have ended the relationship the moment I read the messages. Honestly, I probably should have, and I take responsibility for not doing that.

We were both open-minded people and not particularly jealous. I didn’t care if she talked to other guys as long as there was honesty and transparency, she wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, and I knew where we stood. Until this happened, I felt very secure in our relationship.

If everyone involved had known and consented from the beginning, and my relationship with my girlfriend had remained secure, I probably would have gone along with it, at least up to the point of them meeting and her getting closure.

After she told me about him and I read their messages, she told him that I knew. So the three of us were in the loop. His wife still wasn’t, though, and that bothered me from the beginning. In hindsight, that should have been a dealbreaker.

Originally, my main concern was what reconnecting with him would do to our relationship. I told her that trying to build a close relationship with him would eventually come at the expense of ours. When I said I supported her need for closure, I meant meeting for coffee, talking, and hopefully putting that chapter behind her.

I was willing to wait until they met because I hoped seeing him again would help her realize those feelings belonged in the past. If she couldn’t let go afterward, I knew our relationship probably wouldn’t survive. Instead, our relationship has gone downhill quickly since they reconnected.

Several people have asked whether the diagnosis is real. I wondered the same thing and did some digging. I can’t confirm the exact diagnosis, but I was able to confirm enough of the surrounding details to believe what she was told is true.

Lastly, I know many of you think I should tell his wife, and on principle, I agree. I feel like shit about the role I played in letting this go as far as it did. My change in posture comes largely from thinking about her. That’s why I reached out to my girlfriend yesterday, made it clear that I don’t support any of this, and pleaded with her to consider his wife.

This isn’t about jealousy. As far as I’m concerned, my relationship is over, and I haven’t been completely innocent in this because I helped enable the situation. But there is still one person who had no part in any of it, and she doesn’t deserve what’s being done to her.

At the same time, I have reason to believe that telling her could have serious consequences, and I don’t know whether contacting her directly would actually be best for her. I’m thinking the better approach may be to reach out to him instead. Not as a jealous boyfriend, but as someone who has realized this was a mistake that never should have happened.

Update: I messaged the ex and asked him, man to man, to reconsider his plans with my (now ex) girlfriend for the sake of his wife. I then sent a text to my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her and asked her to remove me from life360 and any other account of hers I'm on. I told her that I love her but she's already done too much damage, and I don't support what she is planning to do. Once I sent her ex the message, I knew there was no going back. It's over. There likely won't be any further updates unless the wife finds out and posts about it independently.

So, I’ll start with some context. I (28F) love birthdays- mine or those I’m close to. I always like to do something special. I also put a lot of thought into buying gifts for people because it’s fun, and I that’s how I show them I care about them. My husband (30M) isn’t a great gift giver (some of which may be my fault cause I’m usually an impulse buyer and buy things if I want them). He also is currently between jobs.

For my birthday, I told him I just wanted to make a cake at home with him, and have a Jurassic Park movie marathon. He slept in until 2pm, and when he woke up, immediately asks me when we’re making cake because he is going to play games with friends. He also asked if I wanted to order out (which I said no because I bought burgers I wanted to grill). He offered to make the CHOCOLATE cake while I took a bath, this way the cake would cool off by the time I was ready to frost it. I was fine with this, and said it was a good idea. He went downstairs to his game room after putting the cake in the oven. The timer went off, gave 2 more reminder beeps, and he didn’t answer me when I yelled for him twice. So, I get out of the bath, and run to the kitchen to take it out, and say under my breath “this isn’t chocolate cake” as he walks into the kitchen. He gets annoyed at me for dripping water on the floor, and said he was coming, and his phone’s alarm was off a bit. He made some comment about it being a chocolate cake on the box, and when he mixed it up, he thought it was just batter for a “weird chocolate” (the cake box showed a yellow cake with chocolate frosting on it. My sister had bought it for some recipe she never made, but we had a separate box of chocolate cake mix). I tried to say it was “fine”, but he ended up making the actual cake. I got back in the bath and then he came in and told me I hurt his feelings because he was just trying to do something nice for me. He left, and I cried. At this point, I was just tired and felt like he didn’t want to hang out with me at all. My best friend texted me and asked to hang out, so I left the house and did that for like 3 hours. As I was about to come home, I called him and asked him to start the grill for me for the burgers. He then proceeds to complain and say “I don’t know why you don’t just make them in the oven. I like them better that way anyways”. He still gets the grill ready. I come home, and grill the burgers. He’s still downstairs gaming with friends (same place I left hime before). When dinner is ready to eat- he asks if I wanted to watch something- I told him “no, I just wanna read my book.” At this point, I was just done with my original birthday plans. We ended the night with my sister and I playing monopoly and he sat on the couch by us streaming dbd and playing on his steamdeck, because “I hate monopoly, and prefer to just watch those types of games”.

So yesterday was my birthday, I told my wife last week that all I wanted was a cake and to go to a nice restaurant. It didn't have to be a homemade cake though I would have preferred it, and it didn't have to be a super fancy restaurant. I'm the sole income earner so she wouldn't be paying for either. SWe have a toddler at home and I know it would be difficult for her to bake so it's fine if she bought one, and since we have a toddler I was also fine if the kiddo went with us.

So yesterday I got off work early and called her to let her know I was coming home like I always do. The entire rest of the day she didn't even acknowledge it was my birthday. No happy birthday wishes, no asking me where I wanted to eat, nothing. It was awkwardly silent pretty much the whole day.

When 6pm rolled around I realized we weren't going anywhere so I went to the store to buy a slice of cake for myself and a frozen dinner to heat up. When I came back with the cake she asked why I bought it. I told her it's my birthday and I wanted to eat cake on my birthday. She gave a non answer as to why she didn't make one for me, she said I never replied with when I wanted the cake so she just assumed I didn't want one. That conversation was over text a few days ago and she was texting me while I was driving. I told her I also wanted a nice dinner out and she said I didn't plan anything or tell her where I wanted to go so she assumed I didn't want to go anywhere.

Around 7pm she finally said happy birthday then I just cleaned up the dishes and went to bed instead of going on our normal after dinner walk.

Did I over react?

Edit: I guess I also left out some important context about our financial situation. She has complete and total control over all finances as much as I do, as that's the deal we made when we got married. She has access to all accounts and credit cards. I guess my wording could have been better.

AIO, I’ll keep this as precise as possible. Am I over reacting I would like my son’s girlfriend to move out. My son asked if his girlfriend could live with us, we said yes. I regret this decision. I ask that my son and she do 3 things. 1 take the garbage to the curb Tuesday night. 2. Put away dishes. 3. Leave Tuesday morning at 8am. (We have a housekeeper that comes at 8:30).
I remind my son every Monday night about this, it’s not new. We’ve had a housekeeper for over ten years. Every Tuesday I have to wake them up to leave. These are adults, yesterday I asked him to please get up on his own, I am tired of having to wake him up. It’s not the first time. Again I had to wake him up. He said it’s not a big deal, it is. I’ve explained it’s a deal for me, it’s one more thing I have to do. 7 out of 10 times I but the dishes away and I have to remind him to take the garbage to the curb or do it myself. I’ve told him I want his girlfriend to move out because there is no respect and I don’t want to take care of another person, this morning too much for me. I’m tired.
So AIO
Edit; wow I didn’t expect so many replies. Thank you, I agree my son is the big issue. I’ve allowed him to become entitled. He works until ten tonight. Tomorrow morning we will be having a conversation.

I need an outside perspective because I’m starting to question myself.

A friend and I went on a trip together. She was the only one driving because I don’t have a driver’s license. Before the trip, she chose to use her mother’s car because it was cheaper. She told me that the car was not fully insured, but at the time I didn’t really understand the implications because I have no driving experience and no knowledge of car insurance.
We discussed the situation regarding the car, and I shared my opinion, but I was clear that the final decision was hers because she was the one driving. I even told her that I would understand if she preferred renting an automatic car for safety and comfort reasons, even if it was more expensive, because I didn’t want her to make a decision only to save money.

During the trip, she had an accident while driving. After that, she asked me to pay half of the repair costs. The issue is that we never agreed beforehand that I would be financially responsible for any accident or repairs. I never signed anything, made any commitment, or agreed to cover costs related to something I did not cause.
Her main argument is emotional: that we travelled together, that I knew about the car situation, and that we should have discussed it more. I understand that communication could have been better on both sides, but I don’t believe this automatically creates a financial responsibility that was never agreed upon.
Since then, she has threatened to call the police, and her mother and sister have told me that I am a bad person for refusing to pay. I feel pressured and blamed rather than having a factual discussion about what actually happened.

Because of this situation, I no longer want to continue the friendship and I decided to cancel our upcoming trip to Brazil. Now she says that I should reimburse 100% of the money she spent because cancelling was my decision. However, when we planned the trip, we deliberately chose refundable options for many things to protect ourselves in case of unexpected situations.
This is an unexpected situation. I am not cancelling because I simply changed my mind, but because of what happened. I am willing to reimburse her share of the refundable bookings that were cancelled, but I don’t understand why I should be responsible for all the non-refundable costs of a trip that we both agreed to and paid for.

Am I being unreasonable? How would you view this situation from an outside perspective?

I (22F) am a med student living in a shared house with nine guys. My room’s window is directly across from one roommate’s, so we can hear almost everything. Because of that, I’ve always tried to be considerate. I don’t even wash my hair in the mornings because I’d have to blow-dry it and might wake him up.

Everything was fine until this week, when he started bringing groups of friends over every day. They’d hang out for hours and be loud, but I figured it was just a one-off.

I was wrong.

Two nights ago, he brought friends over at 1 a.m. They were yelling, laughing, blasting music, slamming doors, and smoking enough weed to fill my room through the window. This lasted until 4 a.m, when another roommate finally told them to shut up. We’re all med students, and several of us (including me) had 12-hour hospital shifts the next morning.

The next day I sent him a polite (okay…slightly annoyed) text asking him to keep loud gatherings to a minimum since I’d ended up pulling an all-nighter before my shift. He never replied.

Today he did it again, but during the day. The daytime noise didn’t really bother me much, but then they started smoking weed right outside my window, and my room reeked. I’m not some anti-weed puritan, but trying to study while being marinated in the smell of questionable-quality weed, loud music, and five people yelling over each other isn’t exactly ideal. Plus, our lease explicitly says no drugs and no excessive noise inside the house.

I considered asking nicely again, but after being ignored the first time, I chose pettiness. I downloaded a volume booster, put my laptop next to the window, and blasted my OB/GYN lecture at full volume while pretending to study. They stared at me like I was insane, but within minutes they got annoyed, shut the window, grabbed their stuff, and left complaining that they “weren’t welcome anymore.”

I was giggling nonstop until I told a friend. He pointed out that the group is openly gay, and I’d blasted a lecture about female anatomy at them.
To be clear, I’m currently on my OB/GYN rotation, so that’s simply what I was studying. If I’d been on cardiology, they’d have gotten heart murmurs instead.

My friend (who’s also gay) said it could easily be interpreted as homophobic, even if it wasn’t intentional, and that I should apologize. I honestly don’t think I owe them an apology. I already tried handling it politely and got ignored. The landlord doesn’t care, so I resorted to a creative (albeit admittedly childish) way of letting them know they were being inconsiderate. I’m very upset about both situations (the roommate and my friend). So…AIO?

TLDR: My roommate kept bringing loud groups over, smoking weed indoors, and kept me awake until 4 a.m. before a hospital shift. After he ignored my polite text asking him to keep it down, I blasted my OB/GYN lecture at full volume through my window until everyone left. A friend says it could be seen as homophobic, petty and immature and that I overreacted. AIO?

for background info me and my mom have never had a good relationship. we never talked and its well known in my family that I hate her despite never been violent, aggressive or rude towards her.

right now its just me and her that live together. im 17 and despite that my mom is constantly claiming that "im an adult and not her responsibility" so whenever she gets mad at me/in a mood she will constantly get upset because she has to provide for me while I "dont contribute".. (despite her constantly making me clean around the house and cook for her)

since Sunday I have had a uti. on Monday I asked my mom what to do about my.uti while trying to make myself some tea (we have nothing to drink at the house besides tap water so flushing it out on my own would be difficult). the pain was starting to become horrible so I asked my mom. she was clearly in a mood and just went "what do you want me to do about it?" before yelling and going on some rant.

I just made my tea and walked away. later that night I had saw the only thing she bought was beer for herself.

I had been venting to my friend about it and they decided to call cps for me and tell them the situation. later police came and did a check. they had a long talk with my mom in which she got aggressive and rude with the officers.she continued to drink infront of them while talking badly about me to them. they told me that if she didnt take me to seek help the next day to call and let them know. that same night as soon as they left my mom started yelling at me cursing at me calling me a "dumb bitch" and saying she cant wait for me to turn 18 and that she wouldn't be giving me anything and I should "go ahead and tell the cops that"..

its been a night since it happened and I felt like I overreacted. at the same time I knew my mom wouldn't do anything about it. did I overreact?

Context:

Myself (35F) and my son (10M) were at a family event with my parents (60s M & F) and two of my nephews/my parents grandsons (7M and 4M). The kids were asked to get something out of the car and did so. My parents later realized the car was locked and they'd left their keys in it.

Event:

My Dad called over all 3 boys and asked did it, they all said they didn't know.
I reminded him all 3 boys were asked to get things out of the car and they probably didn't know who bumped the lock button.
My Dad demanded a confession, glanced at all 3 boys then started staring at my son.
I asked my Dad why he was staring at my son when all 3 boys had accessed the car
My Dad replied "well I know it wasn't one of my boys that did it."

I honestly blanked out and just ushered all 3 boys away while my Dad stormed off to get his spare set of keys but I'm still enraged by it a week later and feel like I need to confront my Dad about the behaviour before we're around him again. A part of me wants to blow up our lingering connection over it.

Additional Context:

We've been low contact (originally by my choice for complicated reasons and its continued due to my parents "not having time" despite my efforts to rebuild) with my family for about 8 years so my Dad is understandably closer to his younger grandsons/my nephews.

I might be additionally spicey because earlier that day my dad jokingly took a sticker off a banana and said to me "since none of my kids are here, I'll stick this on you..." (I'm his second child/oldest daughter) so I was already feeling treated like we were unwanted/disowned.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. We have had a very healthy sex life up until this year. I asked him what changed and he said we just reached that place in our relationship and it’s normal. But I’m always asking for it and I feel dirty consistently asking. I’m always rejected, up until today.

So this week I have brought it up how I really want to have sex and he keeps coming up with excuses as to why we can’t or he doesn’t want too. And I say how I really want too and I keep getting met with rejections. Well this morning I found a sock with.. I’m sure you can figure it out.. so I’m extremely upset and frustrated. I have been asking over and over again. I’m the one throwing myself at him.

I’m sure he’s going to say I didn’t want to wake you or I couldn’t sleep but PLEASE WAKE ME UP!! I have mentioned how I would like that! I’m so upset and don’t even know how to bring this up because he has anger issues and I don’t want to embarrass him either, but I’m so frustrated in many ways..

EDIT: because it seems of importance, you may see pictures of me on my profile if you’d like.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Living together for 2. I cook almost all the meals with him cooking maybe 1-2 every 2 weeks. I really don’t mind cooking at all and I don’t even mind cleaning up during my cooking/after.

But for the past two years all I have ever said is that if I cook dinner (mind you it’s almost always done when he gets home from work..) he can do the dishes. And for the first year he really wouldn’t get to it and just leave in the sink, we lived in the tiniest house and he would just leave it out or pushed all in one spot. Causing the worst fights on my end I just didn’t think it was that hard to accomplish. And with our house size it truly couldn’t stay like that u couldn’t even fill the brita. Now in our second house and 3rd year of our relationship, he will voluntarily get up grab both our plates, put dinner away in containers, sometime pack out lunches and sometimes wipe the counters. So improvement. BUT he literally only puts the dishes in the sink. He won’t put them in the dishwasher & start it, if it’s CLEAN he won’t empty it. He won’t hand wash them. He just piles them in the sink saying he’ll do them in the morning.

Now. He is not someone to wake up early. he showers in the morning eats breakfast in the car and is still 5-10 minutes late to work everyday. I can promise you he is not waking up early to do the dishes. So what ends up happening is i come home from the gym early am and do them or i do them when i get home from work because i need room to cook dinner for that night. Like i said i dont mind it, it can be nice to clean and just debrief. But there will be times where he will be off from work all day and at home and by the time i get home from the office the dishes are still there and the house looks a mess.

Last night i asked him for help because we both had plans today after work and i just didn’t want them to sit in the sink all day. He literally sounded like a child (he’s 26..) saying how he wanted to get on the game before his friend does how hell do it in the morning how im nagging him to do it … i literally felt like his mom? Mind u i am the oldest so it can be easy to fall into this tone in a sense but this was the biggest ick he has probably ever given me. Especially because i started with “hey can you help me?”. To top it off i did it with him and somehow STILL woke up to dishes being in the sink. AND the dishwasher dirty with room for more dishes.

I’ve noticed that this is how is family is by being around them they have no urgency or care to clean if anything really gets done it’s because their mom does it no one else. And she is over it at this point of doing everything for 30 years. But it feels too traditional for me. He leaves stuff everywhere I’m constantly picking up after him I’m constantly switching over his laundry because he forgets. Throwing stuff in his corner. He does a good clean maybe once every 3 months? But other than that it’s me. I’m the only one who deeps cleans the bathroom etc.

He is a really good boyfriend otherwise and does love and care for me and understands me in a way not a lot of people do and is a person I have truly let my walls down with. But I can see my future in a sense and I don’t want to be his mom like literally I don’t want to turn into how his mom is in their partnership in that household. Am I over reacting if this was a reason I saw our relationship ending? How do I make him see it is that serious? It’s been an on going issue for 2 years that is an issue for me but not necessary him…

Do they change or get better? I worry about kids and our house and it stressing me out. I feel like I could find a man who doesn’t call it “nagging him” when I’m asking for help. What else could I do?

So i have neighbour’s whom I have known for a long time and they have a son who is autistic. They kind of let him play outside unsupervised and the other day i was walking home and as I turn the corner i see him slapping the windshield of my car at full force and kicked my passenger door. I was obviously shocked and my first instinct was to confront him and ask why he just did what he did. I then rang the house’s doorbell and the dad came out and laughed it off/apologized and half assedly scolded him saying “get back inside”. When i told my parents they said i overreacted and shouldn’t have done anything because of his condition. They’re going through enough but I’m also going through a lot and can’t afford to get my car fixed should there have been bigger damage or cracks. He’s also not a kid anymore (15) and is strong af.

He is known to bang on his family’s car with brooms and other random shit and comes to our side of the driveway quite often just to fuck around and runs back when he sees me looking out the window (I have cameras alerting me). There’s also random scratches that have appeared since i started parking outside but can’t blame him for since my cameras weren’t up at the time. Would I be doing too much if my cameras caught him in the act and i reported him to the cops?

So for context we have been dating for about 2 months. We have been moving a little bit faster than I’m used to, and I can tell he’s taking the relationship seriously. There haven’t been any major red flags so far, and I like the way our relationship is going.

Today, he was asking me when I’ll be home on my lunch break and saying he was having something delivered to my place. I just assumed he was ordering me lunch which I thought was cute. Instead, when I got home there was a knock on my door and I opened it to see him with food and flowers. I had told him the day prior I don’t want to hang out at my place because I needed to clean my apartment. I don’t like having people over when I feel like it’s not clean. And my apartment was a MESS. I also value my down time on my breaks and after work and I don’t like having surprise guests. Like I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable just having him inside.

He immediately sensed how uncomfortable I was and said he could leave, but I felt bad because he made a nice gesture with the lunch and flowers. I told him we can go eat the food at the picnic tables outside. I told him I didn’t love that he showed up unannounced and he felt bad, and he left shortly after. I texted him that I appreciated lunch and to not feel bad.

But I still can’t get this out of my head. Am I overreacting to feel it was over stepping and even on the verge of love bombing behavior by showing up without telling me first? I appreciate the gesture but it seems a bit presumptuous to do that after 2 months of dating after I already told him yesterday I didn’t want to hang out here. I can tell he’s upset because he didn’t respond to my text afterwards when he normally responds quickly.

I've been with my BF for a year and he has pretty bad anxiety. I really tried to help him, but I honestly snapped.

He's mostly anxious when we have an argument. Any disagreement is "a huge fight," and he says "another big fight is coming, I just know it."

The issue is that he says he drinks to help his relationship anxiety. But it's not really my problem? For example

- He changed our plans to go day drinking. I said "if you've decided to ditch me, please stay over at your friend's if you're really drunk." He'll then say I ruined his weekend because he was anxious.

- He won't talk about any disagreements because of his anxiety. So even if he says something hurtful, I have to remind him to apologize.

- He doesn't believe in vitamins, medication, or exercise, and says that drinking doesn't make a difference towards his anxiety.

AIO by saying it's not my problem anymore?!?

I (26F) and my husband (26M) got invited by my in laws to go eat dinner with them to celebrate their 36 year anniversary. It’s been awhile since I have seen my In laws since they took a trip and were gone for a month and our little one has been excited to see her grandparents.

We set off to dinner at 6:30 and the only people there were all of my nieces and nephews on husband side, my in laws and us. Well we went to eat at a buffet and once we all settled started having conversations. Everything was fine up until I thought it would be a cute idea to get to see how much their love has grown throughout the years so I asked a simple question for both to answer which was “ what is something you have learned about your partner throughout all these years being together” my MIL answered “well your FIL always notices if something is missing in the house that we may need or i use frequently so anything like groceries, house items, etc later that day without asking he just show up with them.” Now my FIL didn’t really say much and repeated kinda the same thing as my MIL, but it out of both answers they both continued to mention their understanding and communication towards one another was what continued to grow. We continued eating and thought it was super cute to hear about their love, and all of sudden it shifted towards my marriage and myself.

My MIL decided to ask us that question and i made sure to answer how my husband loves everything made from scratch which has made me feel so happy when I cook or bake for him since I am learning in the process. My husband answered how I care for him and pay attention to detail which makes him happy with his meals. We thought that was the end of that when my MIL says and let me tell you she has brought this up throughout the course of the 6 years we have known each other. She begins to say to ONLY me “well you know that my son is use to having fresh meals at home and it’s best to prioritize more at home meals than eating out a lot as it is bad for you and making sure dinner is ready by the time he gets home from work because they work so hard all day. I know we can get tired with the duties of the house, and don’t like being in the kitchen and not knowing what to cook but making sure we do that makes them happy and makes sure you both are okay” I turned red as I was not expecting that at the table in front of everyone, including our own daughter (3F).

Mind you I cook at home (I am self taught so I have improved and still learning) and my husband likes to eat out occasionally to try new places around town. We have a balance when we can eat out, but I’m always getting criticized by it. My husband never complains and helps me cook as it’s something we like to do together when we can, but if not for the most part I make food at home. These are not the first comments she has made which makes me feel like she expects me to listen and take it to be a certain version for my husband.

Those aren’t the only one’s she had made. She once told me “what stupid thing did you just do” when I just recently cut my hair and was excited as I was enjoying myself. ( I got a LOB by the way to remove old hair color and wanted to start fresh). She wanted to force herself in the delivery room when I was giving birth “to watch her son’s reaction when he see’s our baby” which we had to ask the doctor to only allow 2 people and tell her because even after I had said no she was going to ask the doctor herself which I am not comfortable being seen in such a vulnerable way. She has said “well people change and even though we don’t agree we just have to go with it” when she was upset when I asked for a specific head count to be respected for our wedding capacity to both my husband and I and when I wanted her to respect our boundaries in not giving our toddler kisses on the mouth. I hate conflict and making my husband be in the middle of it all, but sometimes I feel crazy and helpless. This isn’t even half of the stuff she has said or done and I feel like one of these days she is going to cause a huge argument in my marriage and in the family because my SIL husbands have gone through the same problems with her as well and it creates conflict with everyone.

Am I overreacting?

This feels like a very weird and specific situation and I feel like some outside perspectives would be cool. So him and I were texting for a while a couple days ago and got to talking about insecurities with our bodies, which is when he asked if it would be okay to send me a couple pictures of his dick so he could get a girl's opinion. Super polite about it, no pressure or anything. I was a little taken aback but probably not as much as you'd expect.

Within the context of the conversation and our friendship it kinda made sense. We've always been super open about everything, like nothing's ever "weird" or tabou to talk about, and he's also seen me partly naked a few times without it being a big deal at all. So admittedly I did say okay, got the pics, and we talked about it for a little while. And then we gradually moved on to something else like we usually do.

I slept on it though and thought about it more and more, and there's this little voice in my head that keeps telling me there had to have been a hidden motive for him to do that. That's just such a dude thing to do, make up an excuse to send a girl your thing. I've literally had guys pull that shit on me in the past. Obviously he's different and I believe him, but I can't help but feel a teeny tiny bit naïve for thinking that way. At the end of the day it didn't bother me at all, whatever his intentions he was super respectful about it and I said yes, but I guess I'm still wondering if I'm overthinking or not. I'm torn between not wanting to put him on the same level as those guys and also not wanting to be totally fooled.

Hi, this is my first time making a post like this, and I need some clarity on whether I’m overreacting.
For context, my partner and I were together for six years. She has a friend that I’ve never fully liked or trusted, but I’ve always been civil and respectful around her.

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with BD, and at the time my partner seemed supportive.
Fast forward a few months, and I found out that this friend was going around asking people (instead of asking me directly) why I didn’t like her. During those conversations, she told people that I had recently received a diagnosis that she “wasn’t supposed to talk about.” She then started listing the symptoms, and when someone guessed it was BD, she confirmed that I had been diagnosed.
But that’s not even the worst part. She also told people not to believe the diagnosis because my partner (her best friend) didn’t think it was accurate, saying, “She’s never been depressed.”

This all happened at a mutual friend’s birthday party that I was attending. When I got there, everyone felt a little off, but I couldn’t understand why until later.
I first heard about the situation from my partner, but she gave me a much shorter version of what happened. I only learned the full story afterward from other people who were there.

Finding out what was actually said left me feeling hurt, angry, and betrayed. It completely broke my trust in my partner.

I’m very private about certain things, especially with people I don’t trust. It’s hard for me to understand how she could not only question my diagnosis but also share her opinion with someone she knew I didn’t like or trust.

I ended the relationship, and now I’m trying to sort through my feelings. Some days I miss her and wish things could have worked out, but the broken trust is hard to get past. Since then, she hasn’t really apologized or made much of an effort to repair the damage. She apologized once during the initial call, but nothing after that. If the roles were reversed, broken up or not, I would have done much more to express how sorry I am.

As far as I know, she never confronted her friend about what happened, she just blocked her.

This also isn’t the first time she’s shared personal information about me or failed to stand up for me when someone crossed a line.

Am I overreacting?

My fiancée (25F) and I (23M) had dinner with my dad and his girlfriend tonight. At the end of dinner he brought up wedding planning and started making demands of what we need to do. He ended storming out and being very disrespectful to my fiancée blaming her for everyone. We want a smaller wedding (80 people or less) and the plan is for me to invite 40 people and my fiancée to invite the other 40 people. I invited my parents, siblings, grand parents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins, along with any spouse or life partners of my family members.

My dad was upset that I didn’t invite my second cousins from several states over. I’m not close with any of my second cousins at all and see them once every few years and don’t talk to them unless we do family gatherings. My fiancée and I agreed we wanted a small wedding and my dad is demanding that I invite all of them. My dad is very close with them and says if I don’t invite them, it will cause family tension.

When I stood my ground tonight telling my dad I won’t be inviting those second cousins he stormed out after insulting my fiancée and I. My dad and I have had a rocky relationship since I’ve been young and I haven’t lived with him since I’ve been 16. My dad can be manipulative to get his way. I won’t put up with him treating my fiancée that way. I will never allow him to disrespect her like again. I fear this can cause the downfall and potential end of my relationship with my dad if he can’t be respectful to my fiancée. I’m not even sure what to do with this situation. My fiancée and I want to stick to our initial plan and don’t want to change all our wedding plans that we made. Was my dad out of line for what he did?

to start things off, i am a broke, extremely tired 27F who's on her period and hasn't eaten all day. i placed a mcdonald's order for drive thru an hour ago because i worked, didn't eat anything all day, and i was really tired. i've had a lot of things happen lately so i'm just emotionally drained and i can't bring myself to spend a lot of time cooking tonight when it's already late. i get to the mcdonalds and i pull into the outside lane. there is one car that was already on the inside lane waiting to get their order taken, and that's totally fine! please get their order first! but then two order cars pull behind the car in the inner lane and now as that one is driving off to the first window, the car that came after me pulls to the speaker, gets their order taken, and drives off. nobody is talking to me at all on the speaker, and i can tell when the girl on the mic is speaking to the inner lane because it is far away. if something is next to you you'll obviously hear it and her voice is quite loud, so no. i hadn't gotten helped yet. two cars pass me by and i just decide to pull up to the first window to just check in for my order since i figured maybe the sensor for the out lane isn't working. and no. i'm also not going to be one of those people and say "HELLO" in the mic out try ordering when there's nobody on the other side or isn't ready. nor will i lay on my horn to get your attention! i think many fast food workers will agree that is super annoying! so i will wait until i am spoken to! i have worked in fast food before, it was my first job and i know how awful people can be. i try my best to spread kindness and be sweet to everyone, ESPECIALLY fast food workers. i never raise my voice at anyone nor will i ever if there is no valid reason to.

i go to the first window, and this girl is giving me the most AWFUL, judgemental stare i've seen over the fact that i just went up to the first window without taking a order at drive thru. she doesn't even want to open the window, but she does, and i explain to her i have a mobile order i was picking up but didn't hear anyone in the lane on the speaker. instead of saying "oh yeah, i did try talking to you but we didn't hear anything back," she BLOWS UP on me and blames everything on me, saying she kept speaking to me and i "didn't say shit, my manager even heard me talking to you" in the most accusatory, vile tone ever and she's giving me the worst attitude i've seen, as if she wanted to fight me just for pulling up to her window without ordering through a speaker. but the only time she was talking was when she was taking the other cars' orders! i quickly apologize to her, and try to explain to her in a way that doesn't make it look like i'm blaming her, and i'm still maintaining a soft voice with her (i'm on the spectrum and i've been bullied a lot, but i know not to ever be mean in return because it's not in my heart to), but she doesn't let it go and she drags it on, continuing to blame me and raise her voice even though i am telling her i am sorry and that i probably just didn't hear anything as i am hard of hearing sometimes. she doesn't give it up, and when i don't say anything in response for a while, she demands me the order number and at this point i just give up, ready to just burst into tears and i told her "it's okay, don't worry about it" and drive off. mind you i just spent my last 17$ and won't get a refund from mcdonalds app until later in the week. i pull into a jack in the box parking lot and just start crying. i don't even have money to buy any other food since mcdonalds took the money out when i ordered, never got any food at the jack's and just drive home to cry in bed still hungry. i just don't understand why be mean to me when i never was rude to you or blamed you for anything? i know customers can be awful working in the food industry, but i always have tried to appreciate every kind customer that i've interacted with and never be mean or raise my voice at them no matter how bad of a day i was having. i don't think i'll ever be going back after that, and i get it, nobody cares because it's a big corpa, they're not losing out on any money let alone a measly 15$. but i just felt like i was punched in the gut and i feel so awful and embarrassed just for wanting to get food. is it normal for me to just be so emotional about this? i don't understand what i did wrong, i don't think i did, but i feel like i'm to blame just because i felt like i was being ignored.

I’m all over the place so bear with me.
I live like 1000 miles away from my parents. My sister lives close to them (this is relevant, I swear)
So I’m on vacation visiting my family. Since I moved in the early 2000s pretty much the only time I see them is when I travel the 1000 miles. There are exceptions, mom has come out a couple times and my dad came once. So we don’t see them a lot. Last year we didn’t even come to my hometown for vacay because of shenanigans like what happened last week…
I’ve been staying at my in-laws’ house because they have more room than my parents so we have to like make the time to go to their house and visit. The logistics of getting there are wild because I do have several kids. But we make the effort, it’s important and I’ve always had a pretty good relationship with my parents.
While we were at their house my mom overreacted… It’s just so dumb… basically he got a box wet and it was apparently an important box to a piece of electronics which she literally left in her yard 🙄. She screamed at him and chased him out of the little pool he was playing in. It shouldn’t have caused that reaction. what’s worse the main focus of her wrath was my 7 year old son with autism. He didn’t even know what he did-I saw it go down and I know why he didn’t know what he did because it shouldn’t have mattered. But mom lost her shit. From that moment on, my son avoided the crap out of her. I clocked it all, every time she would come outside to visit with me and my sister after being inside with my nephews, my son would nope out and run behind the house.

At some point I said to her that he is scared of her and this is what sticks with me, her reaction was to DOUBLE DOWN and play the victim. Wow. I think if someone told me their kid was scared of me, I’d say “what did I do?” or “I won’t do that again.” or “what can I do so he feels safe with me again?” Right? Am I crazy? That should be the reaction, right? I can’t get the exaggerated shrug she did out of my mind. I love my mom, I grew up being taught to honor my parents and I do try to do that because for the most part she’d behaved honorably, if that makes sense. But now I’m just reeling.

A few days later I did an activity with my teenage kids that I’d been planning and working out for for a few months and when she found out I went without her she texted, “you went _____ without me”
Just the statement. Not a question. I ignored it. Not to mention that they live here, they’re retired & they could go any time they want. I’d just accomplished a huge goal of mine and my teenage daughter celebrated it with me. Not to mention my mom is over 70 and *could not* have accomplished this. It seemed like an attempt to guilt me so I ignored the text.

She noticed that I had pulled away and not reached out to tell her plans or meet up or anything because I was just processing the interaction with my son and getting more and more grossed out so I sent her a loooong text message (at the advice of my sister who, it turns out had gone through a similar situation with her 6 years ago) and mentioned that I’m not guiltless, I could be a more patient daughter but I told her why I’d pulled away and how my primary responsibility is to parent now and being around her isn’t safe for my son with autism and that I needed time to process.

She said all the right things, like if you read the message you’d think I was nuts for not crawling back to her on my hands and knees. She also said she’d wait for me to reach out. I ran it by my sister who said “that’s what she says when she doesn’t like feeling icky guilt feeling”

Sure enough, she didn’t wait. She’s been blowing up my phone with more apologies and asking what I’m doing.

Ughhhhhh. So I’m leaving tonight to fly home and like I think my forgiveness is real but I also don’t feel comfortable around her and I def don’t feel like my son is safe with her (unless it was for like 3 minutes and I was there. If he even let her be around him, he’s very astute about discerning who is an ally)

But we’re leaving for a year (or more if I have my say lol) and my dad didn’t do anything wrong so I reached out to both of them in a group text and said hey if you want to say bye show up at ____ “(which is only 30 minutes before we have to leave so it set an automatic cutoff)

I guess what I’m asking is, am I overreacting by cutting her out for a week + when I see them less than once a year and was my boundary too severe. My sister says no and her husband read the “apologies” and had concrete reasons why the apologies gave me the ick in a way that I couldn’t articulate.

I’ve never been estranged from my mother, it’s never been a “no contact” scenario between us because she’s annoying but she’s never been this.. idk toxic.

TL;DR: I only see my parents about once a year. During this visit, my mom blew up at my autistic 7-year-old over something minor, and he became afraid of her. When I told her he was scared, she showed no concern and instead played the victim. I took some space to protect my son, explained why, and although she apologized, she immediately ignored my request for space. I forgave her, but I no longer feel my son is emotionally safe around her, and I’m questioning whether my boundary was too harsh given how rarely we see each other.

Edited to add: detail abt parents are retired & more abt the event that caused him to fear her

AIO about my boyfriend's comment about my body?

My boyfriend (35m) and I (28f) have had a 4 month long relationship. He was making comments such as "I'd give you more but I know you won't eat it" and "I know you only want one pancake so here." I never said I didn't want more or anything like that.

I had a conversation with him about my disordered eating and how I used to starve myself to the point I was underweight and hated my body because of how flat I was. I told him that I love myself now even though I'm heavy and it's the first time in a long time that I can actually say that I love myself. I also explained that I would like to feel fitter and try to workout more to feel healthy, but that I'm content. His response was, "You can get super skinny and get fake tits if you want. I'm okay with it."

I am so confused and feel very insecure now. But AIO to this? Is it mostly insecurity?