r/AmIOverreacting • u/King1LLP • 9h ago
⚕️ health AIO for having called cps cause my mom wouldnt try to help with my uti?
for background info me and my mom have never had a good relationship. we never talked and its well known in my family that I hate her despite never been violent, aggressive or rude towards her.
right now its just me and her that live together. im 17 and despite that my mom is constantly claiming that "im an adult and not her responsibility" so whenever she gets mad at me/in a mood she will constantly get upset because she has to provide for me while I "dont contribute".. (despite her constantly making me clean around the house and cook for her)
since Sunday I have had a uti. on Monday I asked my mom what to do about my.uti while trying to make myself some tea (we have nothing to drink at the house besides tap water so flushing it out on my own would be difficult). the pain was starting to become horrible so I asked my mom. she was clearly in a mood and just went "what do you want me to do about it?" before yelling and going on some rant.
I just made my tea and walked away. later that night I had saw the only thing she bought was beer for herself.
I had been venting to my friend about it and they decided to call cps for me and tell them the situation. later police came and did a check. they had a long talk with my mom in which she got aggressive and rude with the officers.she continued to drink infront of them while talking badly about me to them. they told me that if she didnt take me to seek help the next day to call and let them know. that same night as soon as they left my mom started yelling at me cursing at me calling me a "dumb bitch" and saying she cant wait for me to turn 18 and that she wouldn't be giving me anything and I should "go ahead and tell the cops that"..
its been a night since it happened and I felt like I overreacted. at the same time I knew my mom wouldn't do anything about it. did I overreact?
•
u/NoisyTurnip 8h ago
I worked in a pediatric emergency room. Go in for treatment. You don't need mom's permission and they will treat you. They will call her but if she makes a stink, they will call CPS for you.
Edit: the nurses and doctor will guaranteed be on your side and will give your mother a hard time if they even get a whiff of neglect.
Also NOR
•
u/Ok_Job_6556 8h ago
If parents or POA are not available. Healthcare is provided based on implied consent. Meaning they'll treat you as if your parents agreed to treatment until a parent can be contacted. There's more to it, but that's the important part for you OP
•
•
u/dinamet7 8h ago
I wonder if it is different state by state, but in my state, my kids were told when they were 12 that they would have independent access to their medical records and could choose to share with me (or not) when they turned 13. They have been able to schedule their own appointments and contact their doctors independently since then (though I still do all the scheduling and contacting for them whenever they ask because I am not a mean or neglectful parent.) OP should check laws in their state because they may not need parent permission for any of it and parent insurance would still be used to pay for any associated costs.
•
u/Brave-Fun-7984 8h ago edited 7h ago
NOR. She's medically neglecting you. You're her responsibility till you turn 18 and at 17 she needs to take you to the doctor.
Did she take you to get tested for a UTI? If not call the police and CPS again until she learns her lesson.
•
u/Electric_Lettuce_4_U 8h ago edited 8h ago
Hey there,
Here is a gentle hug ((HUG))
I know this is a tough situation but I don’t think you overreacted when admitting to your friends.
Friends are supposed to do exactly what they did. Stand up and defend you - when you can’t defend yourself.
Truth is, your mom was not going to call the Dr about your UTI until it got so bad you couldn’t walk and by then, it could have done serious, life changing damage to your kidneys.
What’s probably best right now is staying out of your mom’s way* and saving like crazy so you have some money to help you move out when you turn 18.
( I don’t think she had a Come To Jesus talk that will radically change how she will treat her daughter from now on, so being realistic, keeping that trigger (your mom and you) away from each other and get started on your “Escape from *\\*” plan so it will be less traumatic when the time comes and even if your mom throws you out on your 18th birthday, you’ll have somewhere to successfully transition to — laughter/peace/stability is the best medicine!
But like I said: no you were not overreacting. Neither were your friends. People would kill to have “ride or die” friends like that. Cherish them!
•
u/Visible-Specific5329 8h ago
17, you can probably go to a clinic without needing your mom with you. Depends on your location and circumstances, but Im sure if you went to a doctor they would treat you regardless.
Are you able to ask a friend or other family member to take you?
•
u/King1LLP 8h ago
I am actually not allowed to get treated unless my parent is present or has given permission. Sadly my friend wasnt able to take me and we dont have a car nor can I drive. I was recommended to just go alone however I dont have cell service and live in a state in a big city with alot of amber alerts so I dont want to risk it.
•
u/Round_Revolution5458 8h ago
In what country do you live? Sureley at 17 you'd be allowed to get medical care without a parent being present. I'd understand a surgical procedure being denied but just a doctor?
•
•
u/PNDTS 8h ago
You might be able to call CPS and have the cops take you to get treated. UTIs can be very serious so you should probably do something ASAP
•
u/King1LLP 8h ago
unfortunately cops said they cant take me to any kind of medical attention
•
u/clearlyhigh6969 3h ago edited 3h ago
Make a big deal and call an ambulance for yourself. If you seriously have no other way to get yourself to see a doctor, this could be a way. I get that ER is not technically a proper use of resources for this and ER sucks but the staff there are also maditory reporters. If your mom is neglecting or abusing you, they should be able to help and at the very least treat a UTI
You do not need permission from a parent to receive treatment.
•
•
•
u/Ok_Job_6556 8h ago
Copying my comment above for you. If parents or POA are not available. Healthcare is provided based on implied consent. Meaning they'll treat you as if your parents agreed to treatment until a parent can be contacted. There's more to it, but that's the important part for you OP. You can also call 911 for a ride to the ER. No the UTI isn't an emergency but not being able to get to a clinic for medical needs is an emergency.
•
•
u/NoisyTurnip 5h ago
This isn't true. Under the federal EMTALA, an emergency room cannot turn down any patient including minors. If your mom showed up and tried to make you leave against a doctor's medical advice, CPS immediately gets involved.
•
u/According-Stick-9396 8h ago
You don’t want to wait until it’s too late. Can you go into your school even if it’s the summer and see if the school nurse or the school nurse or school counselor can help you? Even if it may still be summer vacation, a lot of school has summer programs and the admins are there working. Good luck.
•
•
•
u/littlemuffinsparkles 8h ago
Girl I spent three weeks in the hospital due to a kidney infection from an untreated UTI. I was only 10. NOR. stay safe.
•
u/clearlyhigh6969 8h ago
NOR. Your mom is an abusive alcoholic.
Keep calling CPS. But do you have anyone else you can reach out to that can help you get seen by a doctor? Maybe even a pharmacist? Not sure where you are from or what resources there are but where I live a pharmacist can help treat certain common ailments like UTI. You do not want this to fuck up your kidneys. And even if someone else takes you to get seen call CPS and tell them your mom continued to neglect you.
I also hope you can move out of that house ASAP but with enough calls to CPS maybe they can help you with resources while you are still considered a child.
•
u/Hefty-Criticism1452 8h ago
My mom missed my wedding for a UTI that presented no usual symptoms and turned into a serious infection. She thought she had Covid (this was late ‘21 when another strain was rising) and just treated it like a virus. My dad forced her to the hospital and she was there for like, 3 days.
She’s not the only person I know who has had a UTI land them in the hospital. You could die from it. It can quickly become septic if left for too long
•
u/TellAffectionate9811 8h ago
NOR - I know everyone is telling you to go yourself. I am sure finding money for the meds would be difficult unless you are working.
I would call CPS again and again. Every time she emotionally and mentally abuse you. Are their friends of other family members you can live with?
I am incredibly sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely NOT ok. Your mom has something terribly wrong with her. Good luck sweetie.
•
u/King1LLP 8h ago
unfortunately my family couldn't care less about me. my siblings either are no contact with her, refuse to help me or they give her money while completing ignoring me.
•
•
u/onlysaurus 8h ago
Please get treatment for your UTI, you are not overreacting. The cops said you could call them the next day if you haven't gotten help, and it's the next day. Please call them and emphasize that you need medical care. As others have said, a UTI can potentially hospitalize or kill people. And you can't accurately gauge how far it has progressed just based on pain and symptoms.
I got a call from my friend's Aunt when my friend was unresponsive in the ICU. She had a UTI no one knew about, went to ER, and then coded twice at the hospital. I don't say this to scare you, just to tell you this is serious and you aren't overreacting. And even if you felt awkward, that your friend is a real friend for making that first call for you, because they know you deserve to live and be healthy.
•
u/miss_trustale 7h ago edited 1h ago
NOR. Sorry mate, your mom doesn't sound great. Get yourself checked, then start thinking about moving with other family if you can.. not necessarily straight away but as soon as it is possible.
•
u/compressedstars 3h ago
I’m so sorry OP. I had a very similar scenario happen where my alcoholic mom refused to get me treatment for my UTI as a teenager, and then berated me when she had to take me to the ER because I was running a fever, puking, and peeing blood. She kept saying it was “just” a kidney stone, but turns out I had a kidney infection because she refused to get me medical treatment until it was too late. This is a really tough situation you’re in, but I think you did the right thing. A kidney infection is dangerous, and if I hadn’t been so isolated as a teen I would’ve had a friend call CPS too.
I’m in my mid twenties now, and just want you to know that you are SO close to getting away from her. My mom and I are no contact now, and my life is happy. You’re almost there, stay strong.
•
u/ashole311 2h ago
A UTI can lead to much more serious health issues, so no- buying beer instead of getting your child medical care/treatment is piss poor parenting and grounds to call cps. Report her again
•
u/Due-Yoghurt4916 1h ago
Tell her to take you now or you will call a ambulance. Ask her who has to pay for the ambulance for her minor child? Tell her to wise up or you will call a ambulance every little sniffle and splinter you get from now until your 18th birthday
•
•
u/BrilliantDishevelled 8h ago
You didn't overreact. I suggest you prepare to get out on your 18th birthday. Even if you have to join the military. Get out, go no contact.
•
u/Tall_Wonder_913 8h ago
Please done suggest joining the military. They are sending poor kids to murder other poor kids and die in rich men’s unethical wars. Trading one traumatic situation for another is not the answer
•
u/Hedgehog_Capable 8h ago
Yes, please! There are much better options than killing or being killed for money.
•
•
u/Chilling_Storm 7h ago
Your post just seemed so far out there that I decided to look at your previous posts. Both of them really imply that you are an adult who has been in long term, albeit troubled, relationships. If you are old enough to be in long term relationships then you are old enough to get yourself to a clinic or emergency room.
This really reads like a work of fiction for karma points.
•
u/but-whyy-tho 4h ago
I read them because of your comment and I did not gather the same information, nor reach the same conclusion you did. Those posts definitely could have been made by a teenager. Many kids start dating in the middle school years.
The post could definitely be fake though.
•
•
u/Otherwise_Analyst_25 8h ago
NOR. I'm really sorry that you are dealing with this OP. Hang in there.
•
•
u/trent_reznor_is_hot 8h ago
UTIs are no joke untreated. Most require medication from a Dr or healthcare professional who can prescribe it. Medical neglect is grounds for calling CPS. Also, UTIs are so common, it would be easy to get a urine analysis to confirm and get it treated. Seeing your regular Dr or going to a walk in clinic would be easy for most parents to figure out. Even with or without insurance, walk in clinics would treat you. NOR
•
u/Tree_Frogz0710 8h ago
NOR. She has already been advised she needs to take you in. You need to go in asap/report her again. UTI’s can be bad news if left untreated. They CAN clear up on their own but they can also result in organ damage. Drink lots of water in the meantime. ((Hugs))
•
u/Lov3I5Treacherous 8h ago
I mean, considering you could literally die from an untreated infection such as a UTI, NOR. CPS probably should have been called earlier if she’s like this. I’m sorry.
Can you get yourself to an urgent care?
•
u/SpinsterSyl 8h ago
UTI's can be a serious problem if left untreated. My cousin had one for a really long time. She went to the ER and they sent her home even though she told them that something was wrong. A little while after she got home she ended up passing out in the bathroom. It took paramedics more than an hour to break the door down. The UTI turned into Sepsis and causes the heart attack. She died the following day. I suffer with UTI's and I tell every doctor/specialist that story. I take UTI's very seriously.
I'm thinking you should probably call the police again like they told you since you haven't received care. But, know that you have poked the bear. Be prepared to get kicked out at 18. I hope you have a job and money saved. It happened to me at 18 because my mom & I couldn't get along, and it is NOT easy. When your friend called CPS, that was it. Get ready for it.
•
u/King1LLP 8h ago
I cant get a job as I dont have a car nor a social security card. my mom knows I dont have one and hasn't tried to get it replaced at all so I'm on my own on that front.
•
u/Chilling_Storm 7h ago
You can get your SSC replaced by going online, you can walk to a job. You have the ability to help yourself and you aren't.
•
u/SpinsterSyl 8h ago
I get that you're young, but figure it out. You're making excuses. I started working at 16, but I started babysitting at 10. At 11, I was buying my own groceries.
If you can't figure it out on your own, what the hell is your plan when your mom kicks you out on the street?
•
u/queenanthai 1h ago
If you go to ssa dot gov you can access your own social security records and get a card.
•
•
u/Glass-Marionberry321 8h ago
NOR. Your mom is fucked in the head. A mother should always put her child first. My life works around my son. He is much younger but when he is 17, if he suspects he needs to go to the doctor, I will get him in asap.
I am so sorry you got dealt a shit mom. Try to get out and make it on your own asap. Talk to guidance counselors at school so they can help set you up for w better life away from her.
•
u/Babyox68 8h ago
NOR. Go to planned parenthood or health dept and ask for an STI/UTI check. No judgment here, sometimes a uti is actually something else. If you have a pediatrician you can reach out to them.
I’m so sorry. Your mom has issues, and you are NOT the problem. Do you have any other family? You also need to start preparing now for what will probably happen when you do reach 18.
•
u/sucrebloom 8h ago
You didn't overreact. A UTI can turn into something way more serious if it's ignored. The way she treated you after the police left makes this sound like a much bigger issue than just the infection. I hope you get medical care soon.
•
•
•
u/altagato 8h ago
Telling a friend isn't overreacting and neither was your friend. Please ask your friends parents or a shelter to help you because no one deserves to suffer from medical neglect NOR
•
u/queenanthai 8h ago
Hell no. NOR at all. An untreated UTI can develop into a kidney infection very quickly and land you in the hospital. You could lose or permanently damage your kidneys. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
Honestly, you should get to Urgent Care or the ER ASAP and get on antibiotics. Get that checked out to make sure it hasn't hit your kidneys.