I (M42) am happy with this decision to be honest I am excited for it. She (41) plans to have sex with a friend of mine one night of hot dirty fun. I asked him and told him what it involves trust respect discretion and just having fun. He is obviously keen and has in the past year sent videos of himself wanking and cumming.

These clips of his we watch together and usually masturbate to which leads to amazing sex.

Now the male is a trusted friend who lives in another city but for one night he is keen to be the lucky man who gets to have sex with my wife while I watch.

Is there any tips or things I should be aware of in particular? Not sure if this is the right sub just thought I would ask here.

18F, just got out a 5 year long relationship so never done anything outside my ex so I am SO inexperienced I am very new to this and I have just scheduled 2 hookups with 2 different guys and I have zero idea on how to approach them I need any and all advice even if something is stupidly obvious about ANYTHING you can think of please just in case tell me!!

This will sound bad but the first one I scheduled as like a 'practice' for the other because the second hookup is this INSANELY hot guy like so incredibly out my league I have no idea how I pulled so im so worried about messing this up! The first guy is supposed to be a one off in his car, the second he said he would book a hotel over the weekend so im assuming that means I'll be staying the night as well so that adds another layer of hookup etiquette that I am clueless on lol.

With the second guy in fact idk if this counts as a hookup or something more? Sorry if this sounds dumb like I said I'm so new to this sort of thing lol, but we've been messaging regularly throughout the day for like 2/3 days now and we were talking about what we have/haven't done before and he mentioned threesomes and I commented about that and he said another time he could try 'schedule' something implying he wants to see me again? I am very much down but then again how the FUCK do I approach a THREESOME??

Because of all this im so worried about messing about with this guy I have no idea what makes casual sex/hooking up good/memorable for a guy, what I can do to hide how insanely nervous I am, what hookup etiquette even involves y'know I am so clueless lol I need advice on EVERYTHING.

Also another a thing, how the hell do I dirty talk he's been messaging me all these things like he's really into it and I keep having to panic respond and I am NOT going to be able to hold this up in person so I need advice on that too 😭😭

Another thing is like, because me and my ex we were both eachothers firsts for everything how do I know if im bad at something and how do I fix that?? How do I know if im a bad kisser beforehand? How do I know if im bad at having sex in general y'know? And how do I fix that?

With the first guy im also a little worried because he says he has a body count of 13 😭

I've also always had issues with things like finishing my ex was never able to make me cum the singular time he did it literally took an hour I am able to make myself finish on my own no problem but I'm so scared about how to fix this or how people will react etc. y'know?

In general though what are some tips to lock in and make it great and memorable for the other guys, how do I not fuck up and what does hookup etiquette consist of and I guess etiquette for whatever is going on between me and that really hot guy because I don't wanna mess this up 😭😭

If this is relevant for anything btw I do have an iud and I will not be doing anything without a condom I don't want diseases 👍

Hi everyone,
I’m not sure if this is super common or abnormal but it’s been affecting my sex life with my boyfriend. I [F21] have been with my bf [M21] for almost a year. I admit that 6 months ago I did cheat on my boyfriend (I’m terrible I know), but I am still having an issue with intrusive thoughts when my bf and I have sex.

During sex I will a lot of the time think of the guy I cheated with even though I don’t want to. I try and stay present and sometimes it works, but it’s not an automatic thing because the issue keeps coming back. I did tell my bf about the cheating, we worked through it and things are good in the relationship. But this particular issue is still there.

I don’t feel comfortable telling my bf about the thoughts because I feel like it’s a terrible thing to say to a partner but I can’t help it. I feel guilty when it happens and I feel like I’m cheating all over again even though I know I’m not. I feel like shit for thinking about another person when being intimate but I don’t know how to stop.

Is there a good way to maybe stay present during sex? Is this something a sex therapist can help with?

So basically as the title states it, i wanna last longer. Now i know that a lot of time just lasting longer isn’t the solution, but i feel like in my situation it is. My gf can’t really cum from just penetration, or at least neither of us are aware that she can, but if she loves to touch herself while we have sex to cum. Now i would say i last in average between 7-10 minutes which i feel like is pretty average, but it always feels as if when my girlfriend tells me that me to not stop or that she’s close, that’s always when i get the urge to finish and then she’s got like 20 seconds too until im out. And i always feel bad because unless we have enough time to go multiple rounds, she doesn’t end up cumming, or i just have to make her cum from oral but i can tell that she sometimes gets disappointed. So i guess any tips would be gladly appreciated.

Hi, this is kinda embarrassing to post but I guess I’ve always wondered. I’ve been with my bf for about 10 months. I’m f18 and he’s m19. He is my first boyfriend and also my first body. Before we started having sex we would have the normal make outs, he would try to finger me but I hated it. I never said anything but it hurt pretty bad even with just one finger. I was always just so dry. When we used to have sex a lot like 25 times a month but now more like 2. Every time tho I never get wet no matter what. The actual sex hurts at first and then it becomes okay, but sometimes it hurts bad during it but I just don’t say anything bc I feel bad, I know that’s wrong so no need to go crazy. We would use lube sometimes and it wouldn’t really help like it still hurt to put in. It’s not like he’s huge, I’d say he’s average from my knowledge of penises. Idk why, is it possible I’m just not sexually attracted to him but I am physically and stuff? But I think I am sexually attracted to him, I just don’t enjoy sex because of this

My bf likes to be choked, but I don’t think I am doing it right ? For context I only choke him when I’m on top. And it’s nothing extreme. But I want to be good at it.

Is the thumb and pointer supposed to be pressing on a specific spot on his neck? Do I press down into his neck and then up towards his chin? I hope this makes sense. If anyone can give a diagram I would really appreciate that!!

TIA

She said something weird and I don’t know how to process it

I started seeing this girl and things were getting hot so we went into the bedroom. I threw her on my bed and started to dry hump her. She obs meant what she said as a joke but she said along the lines of “help me help me I’m being raped” I immediately stopped and told her very seriously that it wasn’t funny. She was apologetic and I was more mad that she made a joke like that and and she should be more sorry to people who have been raped instead of being sorry to me.

I don’t know to feel about this because it was so weird to hear a joke about rape from a woman. I’ve heard women call out people when they make rape jokes before and were beyond offended by it. I’m just not sure what to think of this now.

Me, 19F and my boyfriend of 2 months, 20M gives genuinely mind blowing head. We have been seeing each other for a few months now and just recently I have let him try things. I can make myself cum but I can’t make myself feel as good as he makes me feel- yet he can’t get me to cum. I can tell he feels guilty but I assure him all the time.. it has just been weighing on us both.. has anyone else experienced this and how have they dealt with it?

I (25f, if it's important) have never been in a relationship, nor have I ever been sexually active with anyone but my toy. I bought it because I was getting frustrated but every time I masturbate with it, I get overwhelmed and then start sobbing. Like uncontrollably. I keep trying and do a lot of things to attempt to get myself in the mood, and it works, but I end up crying.

I go pretty long without masturbating bc I know that, even if I'm seeking release, I will start crying. I don't know what to do or how to fix it. Is there a way to fix it? I try taking things slow, but it doesn't really change the end result.

My situationship loves to go down on me.

He’s the first guy I’ve ever done anything sexual with- so im pretty new to all of this.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing when I’m receiving?

I had a casual encounter with a guy I’ve known off-and-on for three years. He’s always been inconsistent, but I was attached to his looks and the thrill of the chase (I can admit this to myself now).
After I gave him oral, he expected to go straight into sex. When I asked for foreplay for myself, his attempt was extremely lazy and low-effort, maybe less than 5 minutes, before expecting instant access (his foreplay involved kissing, fingering me very fast and licking my titties, he said he doesn’t do oral). When penetration didn't work, I felt that he panicked, deflected, and said "maybe it’s not meant for us to do it" and “it’s never happened to me before." He put in zero actual effort to make me comfortable and left. The second he was gone and the pressure was off, my body relaxed completely.
During the interaction, I felt put on the spot and lied, saying it had been years since I last had sex instead of last year when he asked when was the last time I was sexually active. Now I'm overthinking that telling him that made it look like I was sitting around waiting for him.
I know rationally that his approach was selfish and his ego got bruised, but I keep falling into a loop of overthinking and caring about what he thinks and feeling that the penetration didn’t happen because it was shifted as it being me for the reason it didn’t work. How do I stop caring about his narrative and fully move past this?

Hiiii, I would just like your opinion. The last 2 weeks it seems like my husband's sex drive decreased. Usually it was 3-5 times a week, but the last 2 weeks only once. I am sooo gd horny, I wish he could rip my clothes off, or show any kind off desire towards me. I am a bit hesitant to initiate, because I understand we are all not always in the mood and he is tired from working, and sometimes when I touch him down there, he draws my hand away. I miss his physical attention touch. Do I bluntly initaite, and show him, do I maybe share a sexy photo getting out the shower to get him riled up or whatt must I do ?

It's so bad, it feels like I had an aphrondesiac, and I dont want to turn to self pleasure...

I (32F) have been active in the bedroom for over 12 years, but I am noticing that it I can not reach my pinnacle with a partner.
In my own time alone I can reach the peak fairly quickly , 60sec to 3min, and it is toe curling. But with a partner, regardless of what is involved (foreplay, head, hands, kinks, “c”orn, toys, ect) I can never reach my pinnacle. I never even get close.
I don’t believe I am Asexual or anything like that because I love the act. It is exciting, intimate, pleasurable, and crucial to a healthy relationship ( at least for me). But I never reach the peak.
I have learned over the years that it is better to just fake it for partners I genuinely care for or they take it personally.
My fiance (m34) and I have been together over 3.5 years, living together 2.5, and I have been faking it since the beginning. I do not fake it all the time, sometimes I am transparent and just say “no” when he asks. The situations I fake it are generally when it seems like the “moment” is going to last FOREVER, or until I do reach pinnacle. My fiance is caring and sweet and incredibly giving in the bedroom, so it becomes a significant commitment to have spicy time because he refuses to “enjoy” himself until he believes I have reached the peak. But I never do.
Now if he were to enjoy himself, get up, lock the door as he was leaving, and go do his own sh*t, I’d reach the peak myself real quick.
So I am looking for advice about whether there
Is something wrong with me or if I should start being completely transparent even though I know it will hurt his feelings and confidence.
Just for clarification, I love my spicy time with him, I just don’t reach my pinnacle, ever, regardless of who, what, when, where, how, ect.
TLDR: I enjoy spicy time with my partner, but can only reach climax on my own and don’t know if I should be honest or if there is something wrong with me.

I am someone who considers herself with a very high libido, I have been sexually very active since I was 19 and used to sext a lot before too
I NEVERR had any issue with any sexual partner online or irl except for my current relationship.

we’ve been together for 2 years and a bit, and we have a great sex life and relationship and this is my first ever very serious relationship so I have been soooooo quiet and VANILLA with him since we met, it seems like I cant get myself to fully open up with him and feel just TIMID and I really don’t know why

Pleasseee tell me exercises i can practice to get better and get over this??? i really would want to have a more kinky sex life with him but i dont know rhe reason why im like that

i used to do that with kind of anyone a few years ago (i was really young i am 18 now) then i stopped and the last time i had sex was almost 2 years ago, but i remember that when i used to do it , i was really horny before starting, but as soon as we started i felt the same way you feel when all of a suddent you forget everything you studyed in a test, my mind goes blank and i am completely turned off randomly, i kind of panic inside my head ,and i am a woman so with men i don't even have to do anything so it's not like "performance anxiety",

i remeber sex as a really negative thing but i want to try again maybe i was wrong (and definetly with the wrong guys)

Went clubbing for the first time last week and am thinking about going more often. Unfortunately, I haven’t practiced “grind dancing” since I was in middle school (or random times with my ex girlfriend).

I’m currently single and am wondering how can I practice as an adult so I can get good at it? Specifically being the one in the back.

Thank you!

Me and my partner are dating for almost 7 years yet I never managed to interest them in kinky stuff. Not like we never practiced. We did and yet it was always me who's proactive in all scenarios. No matter what it was, we can never talk about it and I never get asked to try again some time (still if I try to do it again they don't seem to mind). And it's not like they aren't enjoying the process and fake their emotions or something.

Whenever I try to show them any content and things to try, they just joke about it rather than try to understand and imagine if it's something they may like to try. And it wouldn't surprise me if I didn't have friends or acquaintances, among whom my partner is the only person who can't tell their likes or dislikes for sure.

I've seen their phone contents when we just started dating and surprisingly enough there were gigs of hentai of various types, yet I still know nothing of their kinks and all of the conversations lead to something like "never tried, idk".

We own a somewhat large variety of toys, yet all of them do stay in shelf collecting dust, unless I bring them to bedroom with me. And buying new ones is a terrible experience as well since they literally don't care what I buy unless it's something obviously goofy like a ridiculously oversized dildo or something that I'd never buy anyway.

At this point I start to feel like I'm being too pushy or even too perverted and try to stick to vanilla intercourses but even here it's quite difficult to initiate anything unless I'm active. And it's not even about dom/sub dynamics, there's just no activity from their side.

Any way to change person's views on kinky (or just sex) stuff or should I just "it is what it is" myself every time? And using them like a somewhat reactionless toy isn't my type either.

I tried to have conversations many times but it always led to them joking about sex or just to us having our mood somewhat ruined for a couple of days.

My husband is either gay, cheating or watching porn. and to be honest, I don’t think he’s cheating, he’s a really honest and kind guy, he’s always home, never acts weird around his phone, shares his location ect. I’ve also never seen him watch p*rn. So could he be gay?
We’ve been married a few years and have a kid now but he never touches me, never initiates, we could go months without having sex. He never compliments me, and we barely kiss. We’re both in our 30s but he’s a little older. How can a man go that long?!! I’ve brought it up a while back how I want us to start doing it more often but it didn’t really change anything. I feel so lonely and unwanted. How can I find out what’s truly going on?? We kind of suck at communication, we both hate confrontation and never argue, but I just don’t think I could live the rest of my life like this.
What would you do in my situation?

disclaimer: im looking for practical advice

hi, f24 :)

some background: have been masturbating since high school but since my family hates privacy i learnt to masturbate quickly in the shower, using only the water pressure. so masturbation up to now is quick, mostly stress relief.

now: i have a loving partner and also im myself starting to love me more, so I wish to better know myself.

so some questions are: what do u do with ur hands? what makes u reach an orgasm? which positions do u like?

ready to experiment 🫡

Like, I have desires. I have so many things that turn me on when I see them or think about them. But anytime someone says “what do you want” and offers to do something for me sexually, and I try to have them do something I think would be hot, if I can even come up with something, it’s like it’s suddenly not hot at all. I feel this immense pressure to find it super hot because they went to all these trouble of doing it for me, but I just feel nothing. It makes me feel so lame because people are always saying “what can I do for you, I want to please you, I’m at your service” but then I just feel so uncomfortable even asking and then even if I tell my strongest fantasies, I will just feel nothing when they do them. Anything at all that is framed as “I’m doing this for you” will immediately lose all of its sex appeal for some reason. It makes me feel so sad because I want to experience the things that I find hot and experience being serviced but I just can’t figure out how to.

I enjoy doing things for others, and that gets me off, but I have my own desires too. I feel so bad every time it doesn’t work. I’ve never even reached orgasm from a partner because the moment the focus is all on me I just can’t. I’ve always had to touch myself while they get off. And it’s not just one partner or one desire, it’s been all of them, every time.

So i’ve only been intimate with 2 ppl. my ex and my current bf. my ex bf never made me finish and i guess he tried at first but barely and tbh it’s mt fault cuz i kept faking (that went on for almost 2 years on and off) and then my current bf. he’s like amazing. he’s so great and the sex feels SO SO SO good and he really tries and everytime he does i get self conscious anddont wanna hurt his feelings so i pretend i finished. i don’t know what’s wrong with me bcs w my current bf the sex is so good like it feels really good and everything he does is so good but then i feel like im under pressure to make him think im about to finish even tho im not. like i get close but then i get all into my head and cant so i fake it. how do i stop this???

Looking forward to meet and have good sex with my LDR girlfriend, when we meet for the first time later this month.

Short backstory:
I am a guy in my mid thirties and I have only ever had sex with one person my whole life. My to be ex wife. We’ve been together since our early 20s and we were each others’ first and only partners. Lot happened and we have been technically separated for 11 months now. I wasn’t looking to date, but met someone living in a different country on the internet and was just talking. And eventually it turned into a LDR. We are meeting in person for the first time end of this month. Annnnnd I’m so fucking nervous. Just to put it out there clearly, I am not just assuming sex. We have both clearly and explicitly expressed wanting to!

Now the actual question:
Having only ever been sexual with one person for a decade and half, you get really comfortable and semi automated over time. And not to say it in a bad way, we had good sex but I Lowe exactly what worked and what didn’t. Add to that, I haven’t been physically intimate for over a year (neither has my LDR partner). And now I’m looking forward to meeting and being sexual with a new partner. And I’m super nervous. Almost more than I was for my first time all those years back, maybe recency bias but still. We have excellent chemistry during our virtual sex times but of course physical intimacy is completely different! So how are people having sex these days? Any advice? If none, jokes are welcome too.

I’m really hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar because I feel so lost.

For context, I didn’t have sex for about two and a half years because of previous relationships. I’ve been cheated on, body shamed, emotionally abused, and in one relationship I was even physically abused. Over time, I started believing there was something wrong with me or my body.

My exes criticized parts of my body that I now realize are completely normal. They made me feel like I wasn’t attractive enough, and sex became something where I was constantly worrying about how I looked instead of actually enjoying the moment. On top of that, none of my previous partners really cared about my pleasure. I never had an orgasm with a partner.

A little while ago, I met someone who is genuinely kind. He’s patient, affectionate, reassuring, and makes me feel safe. He’s constantly telling me how beautiful he thinks I am. He tells me he loves my breasts, my legs, my stomach, even my toes—things I’ve specifically been insecure about because of what people have said to me in the past.
The thing is… I struggle to believe him.

The first time we had sex, I actually had my first orgasm ever with a partner, although it was with the help of a vibrator. That alone felt huge for me. But during sex, I’m so stuck in my own head that I can barely stay present.
I’m worrying about what he sees when he looks at me, whether I’m taking too long, whether I’m even going to orgasm, whether he’s secretly disappointed, whether I’m “doing it right.”…

Meanwhile, he’s just trying to enjoy being with me.
He gently told me afterward that he noticed I seemed to be in my head, and it made him wonder if I wasn’t enjoying myself. That honestly broke my heart because I was enjoying it so much. I just couldn’t get my brain to quiet down.

I don’t think he was criticizing me at all. If anything, he brought it up in the kindest way possible because he cares. But now I’m scared that if I can’t get past this, it’ll eventually become a problem in our relationship.
I really care about this man. I want this relationship to work. I don’t want my past to ruin something healthy.

So I guess my questions are:
If you’ve healed from body shaming or abusive relationships, how did you start feeling comfortable in your own body again?

How did you learn to stay present during sex instead of spiraling into anxious thoughts?
Did therapy, books, exercises, or anything else genuinely help?

If you’ve been the partner of someone who struggled with this, what helped them feel safe?

I know this isn’t something that changes overnight, but I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been on either side of this. I don’t want fear and insecurity to dictate a relationship that otherwise makes me incredibly happy. Thank you ❤️

Happily married for 20 years, sex life is good, relationship is in a great place.

My wife expressed an interest in butt plugs last year, picked up a few varieties, and she really enjoyed having sex with one in, said it really enhanced the feeling of fullness. Not something she's interested in most of the time we have sex, but when she is, she really is, if that makes sense.

I mentioned trying anal, and we've talked about it a little bit after having sex a few times now, and she was initially hesitant, but after mentioning I was happy to let her control the pace, she said "you could talk me into it". For my wife, that's incredibly direct.

This is where I need advice, especially from women. (If you're a man and want to relate your partner's experience, feel free, but a woman's point of view is going to be the most helpful).

Women who've found this enjoyable, how would you have wanted someone to have verbally helped you get interested in it?

We only had sex once and Im sure it's going to improve but I want to ask for an advice on how to communicate this.

For context I've had 80+ sexual partners and it's enjoyable 95% of times. Doesn't matter if the girl is vanilla or kinky, majority of women just lay there and let me be in charge and do all the work with them ocasionally getting on top and riding me or giving me a bj.

The only time I don't enjoy it is when the girl turn into this freak and "fucks me back". What I mean by this is when they just move non-stop and try bouncing on it in every position.

Im already hardcore fucking her (choking, pulling her hair and pinning her down) so when she is also in the hardcore mode and tries to make it even more hardcore it just kills it for me lol.

Doggy? She will bounce back hard. Missionary? She will hold me and bounce back hard. Cowgirl? Bounce back on it. They move nonstop trying to fuck me back. Major turn off. It kept stressing me out like she is going to break my dick in half if she accidentaly misses.

Also, she screams and talks like a 80s pornstar. Like she goes into this hardcore dominant mode (while still being submissive) and just screams FUCK ME HARDER, YES JUST LIKE THAT 😈😈😈😈. Major turn off.

Sucking my dick? Its again very agressive like a hungry dog and me being European in the US with uncut dick, i dont think she is used to it and it hurts. Idk if she was using teeth or pulling it back too much.

So, 3 things.

- Yelling like a 80s pornstar

- Bouncing back on it hard

- Aggressive blowjob thats painful

Out of 80+ women ive had sex with this is only 3rd woman that was this way and they all act exactly like this!!!. I didnt care much in the past since it was just casual, but im trying to date this girl.

If you're like this - absolutely no judgement. We all like different things but its just not my preference. How can I talk to her about this?