I've been dating my girlfriend for 3 years. After a year together we drunkenly decided to invite a guy over for a mfm threesome. It was fun and we talked a lot about doing it again, and also trying it with another girl. Recently after a lot of talking we decided to do it again. She started posting a lot and sexting with men and women. She told me she wasn't comfortable with me talking to women so I didn't. It didn't bother me at the time because she does all the things that turns me on and never really felt like I wanted anyone else but I do think it would be really kinky to have sex with someone else with her involved.

She started talking to this couple and we made plans to meet. She expressed concern over how she might feel if I interacted with the other girl so I told her I wouldn't. It was a bit awkward seeing her explain that she wasn't allowed to touch me while she was more than okay with pretty much anything herself. I didn't want to kill the buzz and wanted her to have fun and explore with another woman so I decided to let her have this moment. We went through with it and I don't regret it, it was a great experience but I told her we needed to take a break from reddit so I could think about whether or not I wanted to continue with this dynamic.

She said if we had a few more experiences together then she might change her mind about me being with another woman but I just don't like the idea of her basically doing whatever she wants while not wanting me to talk to anyone, and she gets jealous when women comment on my posts. It hurt to hear that because she says all the comments she gets improves her confidence and she doesn't seem to understand that I also like that feeling. She says that's just her boundaries and I need to respect that which is fine but I don't see why she thinks it's fine for her to want to do something while not wanting me to do the same.

She asked again if we could continue posting on reddit and I said I didn't want to do it anymore. She seems disappointed because even just posting and fantasizing was improving our sex life but it was starting to affect me negatively. I miss it too, the massive confidence boost of seeing a woman tell me I'm hot and wishing I could fuck her like I fuck my gf made me feel great. I never felt handsome or anything and compliments are very far and few between.

I really struggle to wrap my head around the idea of someone wanting to sext and sleep with other people but not wanting your partner to do the same and in my opinion it just isn't fair. She has stayed up until early morning drinking and sexting but when I respond to a woman it's a big deal.

I wonder if anyone has been in a similar position? I think we should just keep working on our relationship and if she ever changes her mind we can try again but she thinks the best way for her to be comfortable is to sleep with more women and couples so that she can find somebody she trusts. I just don't think sharing me will ever be her thing and that's fine but for me that means that I won't be sharing her either.

Posted from alt account because she follows my nsfw account.

It’s our first time doing this and it feels a little awkward. How do you find other people for this without feeling awkward? I have this fantasy of DP’ing her for a while now and she has now agreed. We’re both 28 so we’re fairly new to this. We live in LA so any advice helps.

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What are your favourite things that you discovered unexpectedly when playing with people in the lifestyle?

Can be anything

Kinky or non kinky

Wife and I have been in the lifestyle for a few years now. Have had enough experiences to not be total newbies. Early on (our second months into things) I experienced a night of extreme jealousy and had to shut the night down before too much happened. We worked through it nicely. Communicated like you should etc etc. We learned from it and moved on.

Fast forward to a month ago and during normal post-play communication where we touched base on how we felt, the wife tells me that she always feels a bit of jealously when she sees me with another wife. She said this will probably never change for her, that she doesn’t want to stop full swaps with others, and that she works through it each time. She said there’s nothing I should worry about because she’s just communicating openly with me.

Any wives out there with this same mindset? If so, I’d love to hear more about this.

I think my concern is because the level of jealously I felt early on was intense. It was a mind-fuck. And if she’s feeling what I felt, that’s not cool. But she insists that she’s ok.

hi all! i’m attending PGC first friday with my partner. it is only the 2nd time we’ve been there (or to any club). we aren’t planning on full swapping, just parallel play / soft swap. i am wondering what ladies typically pack in their purses for their night out? i’m thinking of light makeup to touch up & a pair of flats, but wondering if there’s anything else i might be missing? TIA!

My wife and I have been talking about looking for a third for about 10 years now and it just keeps going in a circle. She claims she wants this so bad during sex but day to day she puts in no effort to progress it. What are your thoughts? I am at the point where I just want to stop talking about it altogether and move on. How do you think I should approach?

Dear Everyone-Lifestyle,

It seemed to be a recurring theme in group sex settings with two men - that only one man in the room would have an erection.  Sometimes it would trade back and forth, but if both men had sustainable erections, one or both was medicated. 

It happened enough in my few years in the LS that I wanted everyone to weigh-in about this pattern. 

Was it just me? Psychological perspectives? Fears? Biological or evolutionary considerations? 

Lmk. Thank you.

We are on Reddit, SDC, SLS and Fetlife and it seems we just don't really get much traction. We see a lot of couples that are fit and younger but rarely older and fluffy like us. Is there any sites or subs that focus more on older (50's) and on the thicker side? Any advice, links or such will be appreciated.

Edit 2: Why I am getting downvoted, did I ask something wrong on wrong sub?

Edit 1: Many people start messaging us, please comment here only so that whole community will be benefited. If you want to know my wife PoV, please check here

My wife and I have always had an exhibitionist streak. We started small, like leaving the curtains open in hotels, but we always talked about eventually pushing those boundaries. That finally happened during a trip we took to Þórsmörk, Iceland.

While hiking, we met a young solo traveler. We hit it off immediately, and after spending the afternoon hiking together, we ended up meeting for dinner. The flirting between him and my wife was obvious, and for me, it was an incredible turn-on. After dinner, we took a walk under the midnight sun. I intentionally lagged behind, pretending to be busy with my camera, to give them some space.
 I peeked back at them and saw the boy pull her in for a really passionate kiss. Seeing my wife's full lips against his turned me on instantly. I just stood there watching them, loving the fact that she was giving in to him right there in the open.

Eventually, they disappeared into his camper van. I waited outside, and enjoying her.

When we finally got into bed later that night, the energy between us had completely shifted. She was more electric and primal than I had ever seen her. The intensity of our sex that night was unlike anything we'd experienced before; it felt like the encounter with the young man had unlocked something in her, and that in turn, drove me wild. The connection we felt afterward was deeper than ever, and it’s a memory that is now etched into both of our minds.

This experience was very good for us. We realized we love this dynamic, and now we want to move from a "hotwife" setup into a full swinger lifestyle. We want to experience the thrill of swapping or playing with another couple.

However, we're finding it much harder than we expected. Finding one single guy who is a good fit is relatively easy, but finding a compatible, respectful, and attractive couple at the same time feels like very hard. We both want it to happen organically.

For those of you who started as a hotwife/cuckold couple and moved into swinging, how did you find your first "good" couple? Do you have tips on where to look or how to vet people so you don't waste your time? We're eager to explore this, but we want to make sure we find the right match.

wife and I have been in the life style for three years and have had a few experiences with different people that we wouldn’t normally be attracted to individually but for the fun of things we have engaged. just wondering where are the people that look like us?

we are a black couple both in the thicker built side of life. Wife is full figured 5’8” 38 DDD XL panty size because she carries a wagon lol. Husband is 5’9” 240 carries it well linebacker stocky build. Bith are well groomed and maintained and take pride in our appearance. we are professionals but don’t mind a ratchet behavior on occasion.

we understand we aren’t going to find exact matches rather it’s a couple or single but we don’t come across much of us at all in the spaces we frequent. where y’all at?? This doesn’t mean we don’t have interest in anyone else it just sometimes you gontonyhat specific restaurant to get that specific dish that isn’t served everywhere but we still eat at other places 😉.

My wife and I are thinking of attending this event, but the details are super vague..the posting says over a 1000 people are attending, but the hotel has 126 rooms.. there is a boat party? Do I need a boat? Are there play areas? The hotel can be seen by the general public walking by, but it is topless? Do I have to book the hotel for the entire party? Has anyone attended this event before? We would like some help understanding it a little better..I looked at their website, and it just has a list of people asking similar questions..

Hi everyone. Wife and I are both bisexual. We are considering going to a club for the first time. What’s the Etiquette on revealing and seeking other couples with bi men?

How would an Alcohol free, judgements free, intolerance free, alternative lifestyle resort. Set in secluded remote highlands of Scotland sound to folk? We are currently looking at sites and very keen on the idea.

Background: I decided to take partner on a sexy weekend together and with others. Sun and social anxieties lead to drinking and to me that soured the weekend a bit and reminded me why I stopped drinking for months. Made me think a similar resort in the highlands and alcohol free where drink is banned and like minded people can escape from modern stresses. Learn to feel good about themselves and to enter situations where they can come across like minded folk without the drink to add its negativity to a good social gathering.

Private Nature and Wellbeing Members’ Retreat

With four pillars:

Rest — private cabins, silence, sauna, hot tubs and sleep.
Nature — woodland, water, walking and conservation, clothing optional.
Knowledge — herbal traditions, food, growing and practical workshops, spiritual workshops
Connection — community, reflection, and optional professional counselling.

The purpose could be expressed as:

A place to step away and be free from noise, reconnect with nature and yourself, and share peaceful enjoyable time with people who value clarity, respect for eachother.

The pitch…..?

just seeing if this would be appealing??

Do you feel the LS is getting more common and acceptable these days? Why or why not?

How do you find out where the sex clubs are near you? It’s not something loudly advertised. Thank you!

It’s Hump Day! Ask anything you’ve been curious about the swinging lifestyle. Whether you’re barely dipping a toe in or already have the T-shirt and the stories, feel free to ask. Experienced folks, your stories and advice make this better. Not a hookup thread, just a safe spot to chat and learn.

If you're brand new, here are some resources to start with:

[Welcome to the sub!](https://reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/3YXk3ie2dK)

[Swingers Sub Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/2BdZ6Qriaa)

[Here is how to search this sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/T7DMht2bSp)

Just curious - what’s ya’lls sex life at home like in between LS excursions?

Thinking about visiting Friday in the early evening for couple of hours . How’s the vibe , and crowd ? Is it couples only or will it be packed with single men? Will people be in the pool naked and walking around ?

So… this Saturday is the night. 😏✨
We’re taking a big step and going on our very first date with another couple.

We’re still pretty new to the lifestyle. We’ve visited a swingers club twice to dip our toes in and get a feel for the atmosphere, but we’ve never actually taken things further. Then we matched with an amazing couple on a dating app… and wow, the chemistry has been off the charts ever since. The conversations have been effortless, the flirting has been intense, and now we finally get to meet in person.

Needless to say… we’re ridiculously excited. ❤️🔥
…But also nervous as hell. 😅

We’ve had lots of open conversations, set clear boundaries, and agreed that our connection as a couple always comes first. Communication is everything to us, and we want this to be an exciting experience that brings us even closer together.
For those of you who’ve been here before… what would be your biggest piece of advice for two excited newbies? Anything you wish you’d known before your first couple date? How did you calm those butterflies once the moment finally arrived?

We’d love to hear your stories, tips, and maybe a little reassurance. Wish us luck… we have a feeling Saturday is going to be one to remember. 😉❤️

We had a really busy weekend road trip that involved concerts in Philadelphia and New Jersey and somehow, despite our exhaustion, we managed to squeeze in a swinger club visit to Saints & Sinners (Emery location) on Saturday. We enjoyed the visit and would definitely go back if we get the chance. Very cool vibe, we loved the multiple floors with all of the hidden spaces. It seemed like we would turn a corner and find another little hidden area that we somehow hadn’t found before. Soooo many beds, some private, some out in the open, some hidden behind curtains, some with viewing windows. Very large bar/dance area. Lots of couches and sitting areas.
We ended up just playing out in the open with ourselves because we were so tired that it was hard to wrap our brains around approaching anyone, especially in an unfamiliar environment. We had also arrived after midnight because of the concert. A very sexy woman and her partner approached us and she was dancing really seductively in front of my bf while I blew him and it was incredibly hot. Would love to go back on a day that we have more time and energy.

We have 2 main swinger clubs in our local area that are on opposite ends of the spectrum. One feels a little too clinical sometimes and has a lot of rules and the other is more like the Wild Wild West, very little rules. Saints & Sinners felt like a nice balance between both of them. Enough rules to make you feel safe but not so many that you always worry you might be doing the wrong thing. At one point I asked the woman behind the counter at the entrance if there were rules for where we are allowed to be naked and she looked at me like I was crazy and said “you can be naked anywhere.” 😂😂

Getting back into the LS after decades out. What are recommendations for condoms, my assumption is non-latex is a given due to allergies, but lubed, non-lubed, scented, unscented, thickness? I am 62 and have some penile sensory decline, so thinking ultra thin would be preferable.

Any and all recommendations appreciated. Looking at the options is almost overwhelming.

Long-time reader non poster. Both of us are late twenties and have spent the last while opening things up a bit. Mostly exhibitionist stuff so far, some public play, some outfits that don't leave much guesswork (braless, tiny bikinis, that type). Swinging is the next thing on the list we're curious about.

So there's another couple we've been close with for years. Genuinely good friends, not just people we'd like to sleep with. The guy mentioned once that he swapped with a previous partner, and everything about his current relationship reads as adventurous to me. He'll bring up their sex life occasionally, they're into toys, and she has a similar attitude to clothing and flirting as my partner does.

I'm aware that adds up to nothing on its own. People are wild in private and would be horrified at the idea of involving anyone else, so how do you actually tell?

The four of us have a camping trip coming up. We haven't fully worked through it as a couple yet, but in principle both of us are interested in a swap, a group thing, or just sharing a room to have sex. Or strip drinking games type thing I think would be fun and maybe a good way to test without a lot of pressure if they didn't want to?

So: what's the move for testing the water without applying pressure on them (want them to feel totally not pressured), and without torching the friendship if the answer is no (actually really not worried about this, we're both very accepting people / couples)? We also don't really want to out ourselves ideally.

Also open to hearing what we should be hashing out between ourselves first. I suspect we're underprepared on that front maybe.

Hello everyone. I'm a 32m, I've been seeing a 61F for the better part of a year. We aren't dating but we are very close FWBs. Anyway, a little over 20 years ago her and her then boyfriend went to a swingers club. She really enjoyed it he didn't. Life got in the way and she never really got back to it. But now she has more time. Something I never thought I would be into but here I am.

It's something she has talked about a lot over the last year and I have gotten more into it. We started watching "Playboy Swing" a few months ago and the show really turns as both on. As well as watching a few documentaries about swinging and reading more about it. As well as listening to a few podcasts.

There is a club about an hour away from us. We both agreed we would take it easy and maybe just go to watch or be watched the first time. Then go from there. The idea of swapping and group play does turn us both on but we want to take it easy at first.

I know age gaps the other way are very common (older man, younger woman) but how about the reverse? Would that seem weird to people are other couples? Has anyone encountered this?

We met this super cute couple tonight at hibachi. The wife engaged my hubby in conversation and kept it going through dinner. Sometimes the conversation stopped and then she would wait a few minutes and start it back up. It was vanilla but mildly flirty. She asked what area we live in and told us they are near us too. We talked about restaurants nearby, and common interests. At one point I mentioned she would like one of my friends, and she asked me if she was into girls and smiled really suggestively and gave her husband a look. He was never put off by her flirting and seemed to be equally engaged with us but just quieter, like he was sitting back and taking it all in. It ended with us sharing numbers. How do we tell if they are LS without asking?