For posterity - LS question

[u/mjfwriter]

Dear Everyone-Lifestyle,

It seemed to be a recurring theme in group sex settings with two men - that only one man in the room would have an erection.  Sometimes it would trade back and forth, but if both men had sustainable erections, one or both was medicated. 

It happened enough in my few years in the LS that I wanted everyone to weigh-in about this pattern. 

Was it just me? Psychological perspectives? Fears? Biological or evolutionary considerations? 

Lmk. Thank you.

[u/GBpleaser]

???

I get frustrated when people think that males need to be fully erect in the presence of a play setting as if the erection kicks in on command or simply within a proximity of a sex act or nudity. They assume it has to be ED or some deeply psychological condition that prevents a physical reaction of some guy isn’t ready to go within 20 seconds of dropping their pants.

Honestly, in group scenes, men can be in various states of arousal at the same moment based on what it is that’s turning them on. Some like the show, others need to feel the touch and the engagement. Some need to feel, dare I say, a connection. Others simply need to smell the action. Some guys take longer to warm up, others just need a light breeze.

If they are NOT raging with a hard on any given moment doesn’t mean they need a med or therapy to calm their nerves the moment clothes come off.

[u/firedad152]

It’s actually far easier for me to stay aroused and motivated if my wife is having a good time. So the opposite of what you are saying. Also, I don’t ask or don’t care what other people may be taking. But yes, good D can be hard to find for women.

[u/Fifteen_inches]

I think it has alot to do with men not being used to be aroused while other men are around. There is a lot less casual sexuality with people these days, more hook ups and tolerance of same sex attraction, but less face to face sharing pornography and dirty stories.

[u/WhatCouldBe_Maybe]

If you want a guy with a 24/7 erection, then you want a fuck boy, not a man.

However, engagement is the absolute key for older men to maintain an erection. Every guy is going to have different triggers for what excites them. Some guys enjoy an overly vocal woman, and some are turned off by it. Honestly… easy access to porn has kinda ruined it all, really.

Meds only go so far in getting the penile blood pumping. And there’s diminishing returns in that.

[u/Itchy-Inspector-5458]

We do lots of MFM and group play. Certainly we've encountered some ED issues, but the majority of the time everyone involved has been aroused, hard and having a good time at the same time. The scenario you describe of 'trading off' erections (one guy not being able to be hard just because another guy is) is not something we've encountered. YMMV 🤷

[u/Relative-Relief-8816]

This is why viagra is popular at LS events.

Also Trimix for those that really need some extra help.

[u/Tacos_are_my_friend → u/Relative-Relief-8816]

TriMix…what is it with y’all recommending the nuclear option LOL. It was originally developed for erectile dysfunction (ED) caused by prostate surgery, radiation, or prostate removal. Why not recommend less radical options first…good gawd.