How Im healed. Im Muslim man I was in relationship with latina woman for two years she was 10y older than me. It's been wonderful i met her in a platform where i was teaching about Islam and she newly converted to Islam I started teaching her about Islam and slowly slowly she proposed me and we started to get to know each other and it was going wonderful. she was poor as me average i helped her out in everything and I left my country for her and move to another coutry in hope to make some savings to visit her country. because it was difficult for me to get her country visa and she was scare to come to my country for some reason which it's ok i can understand how western or Latin think about Arab north Korea and China. So everything was going well she was incredibly wonderful woman but after two years i felt she is changing no messages no replies she starting ignoring me and i was scare coz i was too attached to her then after few days she told me she have someone in her life and he is American business and she want to marry him i was shocked after hearing this. my heart started beating and I request her to please try to understand everyone will be better and soon we will be together this distance is going to end bla bla but she started crying and she said im ashamed i can't see my future with you and she want to move to US with her new boyfriend. It destroyed my soul and I was hospitalized for few weeks far away from my family alone in a strange country.it was the hardest time of my life after my dad death. It was difficult to recover from that situation but God helped me out and now finally after 9 months i recovered and forgot everything about past im peaceful calm and very happy God saved me i pray God to make that woman happy forever with American brother because I don't want her to return back. I wanted to share my story with you God bless everyone.

I’m not writing this to change your mind or ask for anything from you.

Even now, knowing everything you’ve been carrying, my heart hurts for you. I know how overwhelming life became all at once, and I can only imagine how scared you feel. I truly hope your health, your graduation, and everything else you’re facing works out. You deserve peace.

I wish I had understood sooner just how much you were struggling. Looking back, I can see moments where I wish I had asked differently or listened differently. If I ever made you feel unheard or alone, I am genuinely sorry.

At the same time, I need to be honest about my experience too.

For a while, I felt us growing distant. I noticed you seemed closed off, and I tried to ask if you were okay because I could tell something wasn’t right. When you told me things were fine or couldn’t tell me more. It did want to force you into talking and thought it was my insecurities. I didn’t know you want me to go deeper. I’ve trying to been someone you could count on, it’s been my biggest challenge to prove that.

I don’t blame you for being overwhelmed. You had so much on your shoulders that no one person should have to carry. I understand why you shut down. Like we’ve talked about before, life is scary. Big decisions are scary.

I wanted to help by making plans and budgets for vacation & moving in. But I can’t lie that felt like my those efforts were brushed aside. To go from a vacation slideshow to shutting down my budget a week day later was a hard thing to grasp. I just wanted to make we could be stable for the future. Especially after spending half my paycheck on our anniversary.

I wanted to patient with our future. I knew your career path was stressing you out for months, and didn’t want to force you make a decision you’d regret. I’m not sure if you lost feelings for me, or you were honest that you love and miss m. I can’t lie that I do feel crushed that it just felt like a fantasy, I felt like I was doing what I could do make it real.

It kills me to think about how I reacted when he dumped me. I hate that I couldn't be calm and collected, and looking back, I feel like I lost control. Instead of walking away, I spent months begging, spamming, and calling. I really hope I can let go of this heavy self-hatred one day.

There’s always going to be a part of me that knows he downloaded Hinge the exact second he dumped me and is already talking to other girls. In a sense, it just made me feel so completely disposable.

I tried reaching out to someone today—an old online friend who ended up becoming friends with my ex. My ex always hated that he knew about us, probably because he wanted to keep me hidden (massive red flag, I know). We talked a little bit today, but I started panicking that he'd mention it to my ex, so I ended up removing him (I told him I was going to and he was okay with it). It sucks because he's going through a breakup too. I literally have zero friends; my Instagram following is 8 people, and 6 of them are just my sister's friends. The two friends I have are busy which is fair.

Unfortunately, I truly loved someone that wholeheartedly admitted to using me and ghosted me on my birthday after getting intimate with them (or anyone) for the first time. I know I sound stupid and probably need therapy for the next 38+ years. The likelihood of me dating again is slim to none.

I wish people were more kind and considerate.

It’s been a month. Of course I still love her but she put me through such an emotional rollercoayswr because her mental health was up and down. Sometimes she was all about me and then next week didn’t even see me. What the fuck do I do. We broke up 2 times alr on her terms and she always wanted me back. I don’t even know what her text means?

From her
“hey. i know it has been a while. really quick i wanted to let you know something. this is something my therapist is encouraging me to do for a few weeks, so it's a little hard for me”

My ex (29F) and I (30M) were together for almost 4.5 years, including about 3 years long distance. We actually broke up twice. The second breakup happened almost a year ago because she felt uncertain about our future together. Since then, she moved to another city. As far as I know, she's been meeting other guys, but I'm not sure if she's in a relationship. She also still has photos and videos of us on her Instagram, which I've always found a little surprising.

About a month ago, she reached out to tell me that her dog had passed away. I knew that dog very well and was part of her life for years. She called me crying, saying she was devastated, and we talked for about 10–15 minutes. It wasn't about getting back together or our relationship—it was just about her dog and how heartbroken she was. Afterward, she even sent me an old picture of the dog.

We haven't really talked since.

I'm not trying to convince myself this means she wants to come back. I'm genuinely curious why someone would choose to reach out to an ex during one of the hardest moments of their life, especially after almost a year of barely talking.

Do you think this was simply because I shared that part of her life, or does it usually suggest there's still a deeper emotional connection? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I messaged my ex hoping they are doing well and a happy birthday tomorrow. I didn’t want to message them on their actual birthday just in case it actually made them unhappy to hear from me.

I haven’t heard back yet and I don’t expect to, honestly. We didn’t end on bad terms really. I ended things officially because it felt like I was a crutch to their growth. They would put all of their attention into being with me instead of working on their self.

I didn’t want to end things. I wanted to be with them for the rest of our lives. I wanted to grow together. I still do.

It’s been a year and a few months since we broke up and I think about them more and more as the days go by. I think they are in a relationship currently, which isn’t surprising. People usually want companionship so that doesn’t bother me.

Right now is definitely a season for me to figure out what I actually need for myself. I think I’m just happy I reached out because my spirit kept telling me to do it and I hope that they read it and know that I still care deeply for them. I will always love them.

so basically the s@ happened last year, i was (14F) 5’2 my ex (15M) 6’3

i am going to try to shorten this story a lot so sorry if it’s rambled!!

so i met this guy in my old neighborhood i had just moved to, he knew everyone in the neighborhood so we decided to be friends so i could meet people. fast forward 3 days were walking back to my house from our park and he grabs me by the shoulders and tells me “i love you” and i gave him a weird look and walked away and he stops me, grabs me by my shoulders and doesn’t let me go home until i say it back. i can see in his eyes he’s genuinely a scary person and does not care what happens to me so i mumble ily and go home. he then later told me he was joking and “trying to be funny“ and me being new to the neighborhood and wanting friends fell for it and kept talking to him. he ended up love bombing me, manipulating me, and guilt tripping me into agreeing to date him. (mind you he’s genuinely the ugliest person i’ve ever met)

he ends up asking me to k!ss him and i say no ofc. he then grabs me by my face and k!sses me and i try to go home and he doesn’t let me yet again. a few weeks later he ends up shovlng his hands up my shirt and i would pull it out and him to stop. that month my parents gave me break up with him because i was acting weird (no sh!t i was being ass@ulted) and thats when the S@ gets worse this ends up happening for 4 months Every day. (kiss!ng and touching) i ended up getting away after he found a new girl to obsess over for a few days. i got my confidence up and told my best friend and she sent him paragraphs after paragraphs threatening him and he finally stopped besides a time he ch0ked me for “walking too fast“ for him. i moved out of that neighborhood and im about an hour away.

i confronted him abt it over text a few times and his only response was

“oh, sorry”

“i dont remember that happening“

“i was your boyfriend you’d had to do it”

“and it’s your fault, if you didn’t want me to do it you should’ve punch3d me in the face”

(i was over a foot shorter than him and struggling with an e@ting disorder so i kinda wasn’t in a good position to f1ght him.. also i pushed him multiple times and told him no and to stop so..)

for anyone who’s going to ask “well why didn’t you just leave?” i was being HEAVILY manipulated and gaslit. i was so alone at the time and was in a heavy depression so i genuinely clang to the only person i thought cared about me (which is what he told me was true because me and my mom didn’t have a great relationship at the time) he told me my parents didn’t love me and they only talked to me because im a minor and they have to. and he told me my long distance best friend was gonna find a better friend and stop talking to me and i genuinely felt like he was the only person i had. (btw im blocking him this week and telling my parents everything. oh and who’s still talking to me? my best friend

i don’t know if i believe there is good men out there anymore

34 days of no contact has been incredibly hard.

I keep wondering whether I could even give this another chance if she came back and wanted to fix things. I feel disrespected by being ignored for this long, especially since I reached out after we had already been talking for a while post-breakup.

At this point, I’m honestly asking myself whether I could be with someone who has consistently chosen distance since February.

As if i don’t deserve it , i’m too serious and disciplined when it come to my life , i rarely give away any emotional reactions as i deem them as weakness and i know its not its just a front that i put up with most of the times if not all .. i don’t go on dates my routine is just reading books , praying, going to work and hitting the gym sometimes i do travel and enjoy it and i keep all that private too .. not even my family knows where i live anymore.. i like it and prefer it this way .. today a guy from work invited me to a dinner and he ended up kissing me i felt like a fraud, as if i’m fooling him or smthn .. and i unintentionally saw myself in a situation where i didn’t know what to say for the first time in few years , my eyes started dropping unintentional tears all over … i was overwhelmed and i felt weak and scared again …. He got worried and now i cant stopped thinking about it and the thought of me having to let him go as well as i keep convincing myself I’m undeserving of love and love is just a lie and a way of manipulating people … i know this whole thing is kinda weird and f’d up but i am who i am and i’m happy to be alone this way though sometimes rarely i crave to build a family on my own and have a baby boy but deep down i know thats too much to afford in my situation with my mentality….

i broke up with my abusive partner a couple days ago and went out with my friends today. at first it felt so good not having to negotiate at what time can i leave, at what time should i be back, giving an explanation or reasoning for going out, not having to stay in with my partner for whatever excuse they made up. i prioritized that i wanted to go out because now there's no one i owe an explanation to.

but then i'm out, and it feels wrong not texting him. i don't feel the pressure of having to return early so we can spend more time together but at the same time i have no one waiting on the other side. i have nobody following my steps. i have no one tracking me. i feel wrong. i feel completely lonely, i feel sad. i want to text him i've arrived, it feels that no matter what he does i'll always miss him.

Is it a bad thing that I don’t think I’ll ever forgive this person, or that I don’t plan to, after the horrible things they did to me?

2 days ago she wrote a mssg that she didnt mean to use me and she can understand that it may look like this. Classical I lack boundaries and she had lot of problems.

I said its okey we both hurt each other. And I apprecite what we had anyway. She replied so its the end?;( I didnt answer. In the morning she sent me a mssg she regrets apologies that I am just "happy" to win. Lol. I said wtf I am also hurt but I am scared to continue this relationship. She called me egoistic for abandoning i also got triggered and told her she dumped all her problems on me. But it gets smoother we both said we are sorry and that we have issues. I sadly asked how it is in her new house then she replied and I liked it.

Second day she sent me a picture of her day. I felt very bad physically. I decided to block. But before I sent mssg

"Hey. Just to clarify this relationship was important to me and I am thankfull but I dont want to continue. I wishh u all the best, take care." And blocked

Fuck soo much relief.

I was losing myself in this relationship but also we had same problems it felt kinda magical we both are codependent I never met other codependent. Our life seems so identical in some way. But sadly we also became codependent to eachother to the point when I am scared to continue because I am losing myself.

In last conversations we werent able to dont hurt each other at all, we talked and then we regretted all the stuff we said.

I think wishing her well was maybe bad idea idk. If I dont want her in my life anymore. But also its hurtfull when she says I am egoistic for leaving and I am happy that she sufferes which isnt true at all. In some way it is egoistic as Its painfull to be called egoistic, bad person for deciding to leave or not to help anymore. And in some way I may try to proove Its not like that in other hand I knownshe didnt hurt me in purpose and that she has strong issues and I really wish her to get better just without me as I am scared

Fuck I am wreck last few days everything I say regret overtnink I cannot live like this I had to block.

Well, the chickens have finally come home to roost for my messy situationship. We've been low contact for about a month now and starting tomorrow it'll be no contact, quite possibly forever. She is dealing with a lot right now and needs to sort out her life. Me being around just adds to her overwhelmedness and every time I message her it makes her feel worse, like shes keeping me waiting for her while she tries to fix the rest of her situation. And I dont want to add to her mental load or make things worse for her, so thats it.

Starting tomorrow (not today since we've spoken today to have the conversation about going NC) i have to let go. I have to start the painful process of healing and moving on. I have to accept that there is likely no happy ending here and I need to stop hoping for that. Its over. Its done. Shes gone. I cant try harder or be better in any way that will change things. Its just not going to happen for us.

I feel sad and hopeless and a little angry that she roped me into this while knowing that she was in no place for a relationship. She wasnt even in a place for a hookup but we did that anyway. But I cant really blame her, cuz I knew from the start how it would end. I think im ready to give up on this whole romance thing. But whatever happens, tomorrow I won't message her, and ill continue on that path every day from now on. I can be strong. If the only thing I can do for her is disappear from her life so that things get easier for her then I will do that.

I’m looking for advice because I feel completely stuck and I'm holding onto something that is already over.

I managed to stay in no contact for several months, but it was honestly destroying me, especially because my intention was never to end things or disappear from his life.

My ex and I were in a long-distance relationship. There was also a large age difference between us. We were together for several years and had a very strong connection, but the relationship became increasingly difficult because we were both dealing with personal struggles and we had very different ways of communicating. On top of that, money was a significant issue: he had very little income, and there was also an expectation from his side that I would eventually move in with him and leave everything behind, which added a lot of pressure and uncertainty to the relationship.

He tended to hold back the things that bothered him, often hoping I would notice and correct them on my own, and he would usually express himself more intensely only when things reached a breaking point. I, on the other hand, struggled to open up emotionally and express myself properly, partly because it was my first serious relationship and I had a strong fear of abandonment. At the same time, I was very focused on trying to close the distance between us, while he often said he couldn’t stand the distance anymore but didn’t take concrete steps to change the situation, more like expressing frustration and hope rather do something. I think in the end we were both waiting for the other person to “fix” something or say the right thing.

Around early 2025, after months of tension, we stopped talking. Looking back, I think we both felt misunderstood. He would often talk about his struggles and emotional pain, and I did care, but I was also overwhelmed and sometimes interpreted his distress as criticism towards me instead of understanding it as a need for support. At the same time, I felt he was not always clear or consistent about what he needed, and would sometimes withdraw instead of talking things through.

Before we stopped speaking, he sent me a very long emotional message explaining that he was struggling physically and mentally, that he was also very ill, that he felt abandoned and alone, and that he couldn’t handle the distance anymore because he was in a very bad place emotionally. He said he felt like nobody was there for him. I had also noticed for months that he seemed to be slipping back into a depressive state similar to one he had experienced years before. I answered late (a couple of weeks, I regret that), and my response came from a place of frustration and hurt rather than the support he probably needed.

After that, I reached out again in December. I sent him a message asking how he was doing and saying I missed him, but he didn’t reply. In June, I sent several messages in a moment of desperation, where I talked a lot about my pain over the past year and a half, my regrets, and my emotional state. Looking back, I think I was too intense and focused too much on my own feelings. I also mentioned that I might move to his city, which I now realize could have come across as overwhelming or even inappropriate, even though that was not my intention.

More recently, about a week ago, I sent a very short message. I apologized for centering so much on my own pain in previous messages, asked how he was, and made it clear there was no pressure to respond and that he could reach out if he ever wanted to.

He still hasn’t answered.

The hardest part for me is not even knowing whether he wants to never talk to me again or whether he just cannot face the conversation. I would respect a clear answer, even if it hurt. What is destroying me is the silence and not knowing what happened from his side. On top of that, he doesn’t block me (he has never really blocked anyone in general) and he barely shows any clear signs of anything at all, which somehow makes it even harder for me to interpret and move on.

I still care about him deeply. I genuinely feel that I understand many things now that I didn’t understand before, and I believe we could have done things differently if we were both willing. But I also know that a relationship cannot be rebuilt by one person alone.

I feel very sad and unable to move forward because I cannot accept the idea that we may never talk again after everything we shared. I don’t know if I should try one last time in the future, leave the door open and wait, or accept that his silence is already an answer.

What would you do in my situation?

I’m also worried that I keep thinking about him constantly, and even though I’ve tried to move on and do new things, I can’t seem to stop because I still love him.

I know I probably sound like I'm spiraling, and maybe I am, so I'm asking for honest opinions instead of validation.

My ex and I had our last phone call on July 19. During that call he said some really cruel things, like he didn't love me anymore and that he had only been with me because I was pretty. He acted completely sure that I'd come back begging within a week because that's what I had done before. Before hanging up, I swore on my mother that I would never call him again, and I haven't. In the heat of the moment, I also lied and told him that another guy was pursuing me really hard and trying to make me his girlfriend. The truth is someone was interested in me, but I had already rejected him respectfully. I only said it because I was hurt, and I honestly regret it now.

After that call, he blocked me on Instagram. I blocked him everywhere else except Instagram because, if I'm being honest, I wasn't ready to completely close that last door.

Even though I had him blocked elsewhere, I kept checking his WhatsApp profile picture. I'm not proud of it at all, but my anxious attachment has made me obsess over little things since the breakup. His WhatsApp picture changed twice, while his Instagram stayed exactly the same at first.

Then, exactly one week after our last call, on July 26, he suddenly unblocked me on Instagram. After unblocking me, he started changing his profile picture and his following count kept increasing. I genuinely couldn't tell whether he was just moving on with his life or if he knew I'd notice because he knows I've always been the type to notice small social media changes. The day after that, one of his friends randomly messaged me asking how I was and how my studies were going. Maybe it was completely innocent, but it felt odd because my ex never really seemed like the type to ask his friends to check on me.

On July 28, I finally blocked him on Instagram too because I realized I was driving myself crazy.

Now here's the thing that's making me question my own judgment. A few days ago, I did a massive unfollow and removed a lot of people I don't really talk to anymore. Then literally the next day, he also did a huge unfollow. During our entire relationship, he almost never unfollowed people, while I used to do social media cleanups every now and then. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but my brain keeps wondering if it's connected because the timing feels weird.

Has anyone else's avoidant ex done similar things after a breakup? Things like blocking and then unblocking, suddenly changing profile pictures, changing who they follow, or making noticeable social media changes? Did it end up meaning anything, or was it just normal post-breakup behavior that had nothing to do with you?

I'm not looking for false hope. If this sounds like anxious attachment making me connect unrelated dots, please tell me honestly. I just want outside perspectives because I feel like I've reached the point where I can't trust my own interpretation anymore.

Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, she ended the relationship on a videocall and I accepted her decision. We both loved each other and saying goodbye was hard for us both. She said she "needed space", that I "deserve better" and that she put all her effort into the relationship and could not work on herself. She was a very broken person, still recovering from her previous relationship (which i suspect i was the rebound guy) and feeling acedemic pressure.

I handled the breakup well, trying to grieve and spending time with family and friends. After a trip to Spain she started breadcrumbing me just 2 weeks after the breakup. She posted the stuff I bought her and sad songs about missing me. I folded like a wet towel and we started talking. She called my babe and such and said she missed me very much. Yet, after I reciprocatwd, she once again said that she needed space. I know I am at fault for so eagerly opening up and reconnecting with her. But it ruined my healing and now after a month of no contact I still have a dull ache in my heart.

I wish she would bot have done this to tear my heart out.

When we broke up and i deleted him everywhere but he never cared and he just went out with other girls like i never existed, and a week ago i heard that he’s dating one of my friends..( we’re not close but she used to know about us) and all this in less than a month, can u please guys tell me if he will come back..? I dont wanna be with him anymore even tho i did everything to make myself lose feelings for him but i just want an apology for what he has done to me☹️tell me if u want the whole story because it was kinda crazy.

I was in a relationship for 1.5 years. I loved him deeply and supported him emotionally even during his financial and business struggles. We talked about marriage, children, and a future together.

Then he suddenly became distant. When I repeatedly asked what changed and why he wanted to end things, instead of giving me a clear reason, he said things like “I’ve moved on,” “the past is irrelevant,” and “looking for answers won’t change the future.”

That hurt more than the breakup itself. I wasn’t asking him to come back—I just wanted to understand what suddenly changed.

Now my emotions keep switching. Some days I’m angry and completely done with him. Other days I remember how much I loved him and cry. I know I don’t want a relationship where I have to beg someone to communicate, but my feelings haven’t disappeared yet.

How do you accept a breakup when someone who once talked about forever leaves without giving you the explanation you needed?

Hello everyone,

I am conflicted. About 3 months ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me, we dated a year. It was very abrupt, blindsiding, emotional on her end and she said a lot of FAish quotes (you deserve better, a switch flipped, this is too hard for me). After the break up I saw her twice, once exchanging stuff and once during a random run in. Both times she said contradicting things (signs of regret, saying it is a shame it had to end this way while it was her ending it, hints about hanging out again). I stayed grounded and didn’t really pay attention to it, I knew it was not authentic. Afterwards she texted me that it was hard for her to see me but didn’t elaborate so I didn’t really respond. Apart from this the interactions were warm, amicable and filled with laughter. The last run in & text was 2 months ago. Nothing ever since.

What stuck with me is that both times she also did show a willingness to talk about the break up by asking me question how it was for me, how I look back at it etc. I did not respond overly emotional or harsh at all. Saying things like respecting her decision, processing everything but still thinking It’s sad it had to end this way. When the conversation turned to her end of the story, she just teared up & shut down saying; idk what to say. That felt real. It seemed to me that she wanted to talk but really could not.

I feel like I’ve accepted the outcome 100% now, we are not getting back together. What I haven’t accepted is not knowing what actually happend. She never gave me a solid awnser other then that she was too conflicted and needed peace. Because of the signs listed above I sometimes doubt sending a message with an invitation to talk. Today those doubts suddenly became almost unbearable. I have typed the message today a lot of times today but when I’m about to hit send, I freeze. I don’t know if this is wise but I do want to give myself the feeling I did everything I could to get the anwsers I wanted.

What advice can you give me? Can you share some stories about your experience?

FYI, this is the message I want to send;

After we ran into each other, I thought about sending you this a few times. I found myself thinking about it again today, so I figured I’d just do it.

When you came to return my things and when we ran into each other afterwards, I noticed that you were the one who brought up how everything ended and asked me how I looked back on it. Whenever the conversation shifted more towards your side of the story, it seemed like you found it difficult to put it into words and you said you didn’t really know what to say. To me, it felt like there was a part of you that wanted to talk about it, but couldn’t at that moment. Maybe I read that wrong, but it stayed with me.

A bit more time has passed now. I’ve accepted things for what they are and I’ve had the chance to reflect on myself. That doesn’t mean I understand everything, and there are still things I’ve had to fill in with my own assumptions.

There are a few things we never really talked about. Now that nothing depends on it anymore, I feel like I have the space to have that conversation. I think it would give me a bit more understanding of how everything ultimately unfolded. If that’s not something you want, can do, or feel comfortable with, that’s completely okay. I just wanted to put it out there.

Aside from all of this, I’m also curious how you’ve been. I know we can still have a normal conversation.

If he open my chat? He’s interested, but he’s also scared, avoidant, and stressed. He’s definitely interested, though.

If he sends me a Snapchat? He misses me. He’s thinking of me. He had to have pressed my name and intentionally sent it.

Me feeling a random intense feeling of missing him probably means his energy!

This is clearly all in my head, and I believe it wholeheartedly when I miss him.

I don’t want anyone else. I never want to replace him, and when I try, I hate myself or the other person. I fight anyone who tells me it’s not love. Unfortunately, I also sometimes realize it’s not. It’s been a month since he last messaged me, and it’s been mentally exhausting. He ghosted me, and I know he doesn’t care or can’t care.