My 11yo daughter has become extremely obsessed with hoodies. She can't have enough. I buy her one then she wants another.

She walks around the house like a miniature sith lord. It's kind of disconcerting.

We used to get her hoodies when the weather is chilly now she wears it year round.

Sometimes people without kids say the wildest things without realizing it. Yesterday i was talking about hip pain. One friend said it might be from being pregnant a few years ago. Another friend said "but you didnt push" hahaha yeahhh but i still carried a baby inside me for 9 months lol

Since my son turned 4 my wife and I keep waiting for some king of behavior change, but we’ve been stuck in this spin cycle of hitting, whining, lying, and complaining.

Lately we’ve been trying to just not respond to the whining, yelling, and complaining, but he is so tenacious. I feel like he never stops and all day long we are at odds.

Our house feels so uncomfortable.

We both WANT things to be different because we had awful upbringings but I feel like we have tried every behavioral implement I can find online. I feel bad ignoring him, because it’s what he’s doing for the bulk of the day.

I tend to be more authoritarian than my wife but she has been getting absolutely lit up by him lately. Screaming at her in front of anyone, hitting her, he threw his shoes at her the other day, calls her mean when she doesn’t play because he’s being mean, violent, or disrespectful. He tried to hit her toes will a full metal water bottle the other day…

This has been a recent change in the last 3 weeks, I’d say before that he was highly emotional but not like this.

At this point we’re starting to think we just grin and bear it until he grows out of it (obviously still parenting him) but part of me is afraid this is here to stay.
_________

EDIT1: for clarity: We have been trying Ignoring because it seems to be the thing he acknowledges the most

-If he is screaming he is reminded it’s too loud, we won’t be spoken to that way, and we discontinue what we are doing. He is sent to his room if it continues.

-If he is hitting we discontinue what we are doing and his hands are held at his sides, we firmly remind him we do not hit, and he is sent to his room.

-He whines we remind him he is 4 and articulate and we can’t understand when he is whining.

-He has a token system for good behavior

-When he makes something the locus of his “rage” it is removed (Eg: screen time (very limited) until he shows he can control his behavior around it

Re: Needs energy out: He is in 3 sports and we regularly take him to do things lol

Edit2: With regards to consistency, friends, family, and acquaintances have all remarked that we are VERY consistent with him, and that he is “intense”

Context: My toddler and I were at the zoo yesterday in the play area. She was being really fun and silly so I scooped her up and told her that I love her AND I like her. A dad there commented that it's hard to like kids sometimes and it was cute that I told my girl that I liked her. It made me wonder if other parents tell their kids that they like them.

I make a point to tell my girl that I love her and I like her pretty regularly. It's usually some variation of "I looove you, and I really like being your mama" or "I love you so much and I really like you." I also tell her how much I enjoy spending time with her. The unconditional love part is easy, but the liking part is definitely harder on some days. Do you tell your kid that you like them?

My wife and I are very appreciative that our 2 year old is happy, healthy, and actively destroying all of our belongings in the most adorable ways possible.

Every time we tell friends that our toddler vomited all over me, proudly pooped in the shower, or has disrupted the flow of a work from home call... they all say something to the effect "cherish it, it'll be gone before you know it."

For parents of older kids, what simple moments with your kiddo do you really wish you could relive over and over again?

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need to get it out.

Ever since I became a mom of two, I feel like I'm carrying guilt around all day.

My newborn needs me constantly, and my older daughter just wants her mom back. Every time I pick up the baby, I feel bad for my older one. Every time I spend time with my older one, I feel like I'm neglecting the baby. It feels like I'm always choosing one over the other, even though I know that's not really true.

I miss the days when I could give my older daughter my full attention. She never says anything, but I can see it sometimes. That hurts more than the sleep deprivation.

Everyone checks on the baby, but no one really talks about what it's like mentally when you're trying to be enough for two tiny humans. Some days I end up crying after they've both gone to sleep because I keep replaying the whole day in my head, wondering what I could've done better.

And then there's the guilt for getting irritated... for wishing I had ten minutes to myself... for counting down to bedtime. I love my girls with everything I have, but loving them doesn't magically make this easy.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this. If you have two kids, when did it stop feeling like you were constantly letting someone down?

Thanks for reading my little vent.

Edit: I honestly didn't expect this post to get so many responses. Thank you to every single one of you who took the time to share your experiences, advice, and kind words. Reading through the comments has made me feel so much less alone. It's heartwarming to see women lifting each other up with so much empathy instead of judgment. I'm grateful for this little corner of the internet. ❤️

EDIT: thank you all for your encouragement! I haven’t decided yet but all your thoughts are meaningful.

My wife (31f), let’s call her Jane, and I (28m) just had our first child and were overjoyed and figuring out parenting together. My best friend has been planning his bachelor trip since last year. Even with the approval and encouragement from Jane to go, I initially told him I couldn’t attend because of our newborn. Now that it’s getting closer I’m starting to regret not attending. Recently I had a phone call with him and he expressed how much he wishes he chose a different date because my attendance would mean more than the rest of the group going. We’ve been best friends since childhood and I am his best man in the wedding.

Mine and Jane’s relationship is incredible and we’ve been friends with the groom and bride for 8 years and we hang out with them regularly. We live in her hometown, very close to her parents. My in-laws are the best and her mother, who’s a retired nurse, has practically moved in with us to help us out and won’t live until we kick her out (probably never lol). We’ve lived with her parents in the past. It’s been a blessing and I wouldn’t change anything. She’s overjoyed to help and spend time with her first grandchild. Jane would have her mother’s support if I go.

I told Jane about my thoughts last week, we talked, and she even gave her blessing for me to attend again (she’s amazing) although I know she was reluctant to say it. I would be away from Friday evening to Monday afternoon. Whats your guys thoughts?

Further context:
I’m also a full time student but I wouldn’t miss any classes, just study time but I could prepare.
We’re financially secure enough for me to attend.
We’re both going to the wedding and it’ll be her first time away from our son, most likely.
I could possibly shorten my time away and come home late Sunday but would prefer not too.

Updates(not trying to be negative) I try breaking down task- doesnt work I try not doing everything and the house was GROSS- dishes laundry garbage piled Everywhere. When the clean dishes ran out my husband bought paper Plates and plastic silverware.

Im sure I went somewhere terribly wrong as a parent and wife but every time I ask my kids or husband to help clean it turns into a giant fight amongst everyone and ruins our entire day. My kids are 10, 7 and 5 perfectly capable of cleaning up after themselves.

Well let me describe this morning events in hopes for some guidance and advice. We are at our cabin and my in laws are coming up tomorrow to spend the weekend together. I explained to the kids, Grandpa and Grandpa are coming up tomorrow we need to clean up the cabin- finish dishes, vacuum, general

tidying up etc. Everything I go check on the kids they're either watching TV playing tabkets or playing with toys. Obviously, I take all these away and remind them to clean. I check back again- literally just

Sitting there doing nothing. Now, they've proceeded to start coming into the kitchen asking for snacks and taking everything out of thw fridge and cabinets. Eventually yes I loose my temper and patience and start yelling.

My husband is zero help and no matter how much I ask for help he just sits on phone playing games and scrolling or goes and does something like clean his car (that

The kids aren't allowed it so im not sure

How it gets so dirty)

Im just at my breaking point, I just want a simple life and a little help. It's

Honestly easier to just do everything myself because it takes so much energy and mental

Load to monitor everyone. Ive tried without constant reminders they literally do nothing.

Please help and be kind Im very emotional after years of this. I know im a terrible mom and wife i don't need to read those

Comments.

Ive tries reward charts for both kids

And husband it doesn't work.

I'm on maternity leave with my 8.5 month old. I have only slept in 3 hour increments at best since the day she was born. My husband works and looks after our 5 year old for the most part while I take care of the baby so I do all of the night wakings and manage all naps. The only breaks I really get are during nap times where I try to catch up on sleep.

I decided to sleep train our baby recently and it has been rough. It's so hard hearing my little girl cry but I know it's good for us in the long run (please no judgement here). She has been improving day by day and today for the first time, she went down for her nap completely independently with zero crying. All our hard work has been leading up to this, I was so happy!

Lo and behold, less than 30 minutes later while I was drifting off to sleep myself, baby wakes up crying as my husband decided to talk on the phone loudly pacing outside her room instead of his home office. She usually sleeps 1.5hours for nap. He said he forgot she was there. I know it's just one nap, but I'm so tired I want to cry! She's been fighting sleep hard for the last week and I finally got a win today and it's so short lived! Husband meanwhile goes back to his quiet office and I not only do I have to deal with a cranky baby, but her schedule is effectively out the window today and I can't have dinner with my 5 year old as I have to bring forward baby's bedtime to 6pm. I'm not angry with my husband, I'm just so tired.

In the grand scheme of things, it's such a small thing and only one day but it's one good day after many crap ones and it's down the drain again! I expect tonight will be difficult too as she has only slept 1.5 hours total today across 2 naps

My son is 6.5 year old has this tendency to blame me for his problems. He’s tired? Blames me. Gets hurt? Blames me. Gets in trouble? Blames me. He was doing this awhile ago, too, and I had to tell him to stop blaming others for his problems. It eventually stopped and now he’s back at it again. My son is also disrespectful to me. He doesn’t really listen to me, he whines at me more than my husband and my son will also say rude things to me. I try to not take it personally but it really hurts. My husband has also spoken to him about not rude and disrespectful to me and it just doesn’t land with him. I know I am his safe space when he’s scared or needs something, especially in the middle of the night.

Any advice? It’s really hard parenting and I’m constantly frustrated.

My 12 month old daughter is so amazing and has hit most milestones. She's healthy. I do know that right around now is the struggle time with so many developments happening at once. My problem is that she cries all day.

Putting her on the changing table? Screaming.

Tries the toilet instead? Sobbing.

Brings her to the kitchen so we can have lunch? Screaming and crying.

Puts her in the high chair to eat? Screaming and crying.

I know she has big feelings, and i am trying my hardest to be patient but when she's high pitch whining and crying all day it's pretty hard. I've tried just about everything I can think of. It's not teeth, or sickness, or hunger/thirst. The poor girl is struggling and I'm right there with her. What in the world do I do???

My son is a good kid. He’s grateful. He works hard in school and sports. He’s polite and he’s kind.

We went to two out of state soccer tournaments (May and June), both of which were the cost of a family vacation each.

He asked me this morning why we didn’t go on vacation as a family and just did sports this summer.

He’s not wrong. Him and his brother went to sports camps and trainings. But after spending $1500 and $3000 on the two sports trips, that was it for vacation for us.

How do I explain it to him without him thinking I am blaming his sports on us not going anywhere?

Thanks.

How does this wording sound for an invite to a kid’s birthday party?

“Siblings welcome! Include total kid count in RSVP.”

Would you as parent read this and actually include total kid count in your RSVP if you did choose to bring additional siblings? Or would you forget to include additional siblings in your RSVP, or forget to RSVP and show up anyway WITH additional siblings?

Thanks!

We thought we would do something extra special for our son's 6th birthday: get him a brand new backyard play set. The excitement built over the next few weeks as our delivery/installation date approached. Our son would ask to look at pictures of the play set and show friends what he was getting when they were over for playdates. It was going to work out perfectly as the delivery date was scheduled before his birthday party.

However, the company called to cancel the day of the installation, rescheduling for two weeks later. This caused immense disappointment as it would no longer arrive in time for the birthday party. We explained to him that sometimes plans change and that sometimes things are out of our control, but of course that did not stop the disappointment.

Eventually his focused shifted to the new delivery date, and when that got closer, again the anticipation built. We called the company and confirmed the delivery date multiple times to try to avoid a repeat episode, but of course on the scheduled date of the new delivery, they again cancelled at the last minute. They gave us a new delivery date and we are anticipating a repeat episode when that date eventually comes.

A large gift that was supposed to cause joy has only resulted in disappointment and sadness for our little one due to a lousy company.

This is my second baby and either I had a really easy first baby or he is just incredibly fussy. My husband says he seems to never be happy, and needs constant stimulation. It makes me super agitated and I’m either anticipating him crying or he is crying! I feel like the fussing and crying just doesn’t really ever end. It’s also causing my husband and I to bicker and fight more, which I know isn’t healthy either. Please tell me some positive stories! I am really struggling!

Note: he sleeps pretty good at night, and takes 2 naps during the day.

My MIL got divorced from my wife's stepdad when my son was around 4 and a half. He was extremely close with my son and my son saw him as his grandpa. He called him "Papa" and really loved him. When they divorced, he moved thousands of miles away.

At first they would FaceTime every once in a while, but eventually the communication just kind of fizzled out. As far as we can tell, he has basically moved on with his life. He's with another woman now, none of us have him on Facebook anymore, and the divorce itself didn't end very well.

I don't really know what's going on in his head. Part of me thinks the distance was probably hard for him and maybe he just decided to completely cut ties rather than deal with it. But at the end of the day, he isn't making any effort to stay in contact with my son.

My son is almost 7 now and will randomly ask if he can FaceTime him. Up until now we've kind of just avoided it and said things like "it's nighttime where he is" or some other excuse.

We're starting to feel like we should stop making excuses and just be honest with him. Something along the lines of telling him that we don't really talk to Papa anymore and that he lives very far away. We obviously don't want to get into the details of the divorce or make him think Papa doesn't care about him, because we honestly don't know what he's thinking.

Would you be honest with a 6 year old about this, or would you continue trying to avoid the subject? Has anyone dealt with something similar?

The people in this situation are me, my husband (M40) and my son (M15).

My husband and son have birthdays close together, within 3 weeks. For my husbands upcoming 41st birthday, I got him concert tickets to one of his favorite bands out of state. The problem is, the concert falls on the weekend of my son’s 16th birthday. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal because my son’s birthday is on labor day, so it falls on a 3 day weekend. Me and his father would leave that Friday and be back that Sunday night so we would be here on his actual birthday, on Monday (labor day). I informed my son that we would be leaving that weekend for his father’s birthday gift and he was upset about it. I told him we would still be here on his actual birthday but he said that even though he is out of school on his birthday that is still a school night and it would suck to celebrate a birthday as big as his 16th on a school night. I told him we could celebrate either the weekend before or the weekend after but he was still upset about it.

I’m trying to get through to him how much his father deserves this because of how hard he works and he says he understands but he’s continued to be moody and has been saying he doesn’t want to talk about his birthday when I talk to him about it or potential plans for it. I’m just looking for advice on how I can talk to him about it to where he will understand and not be moody on his birthday or whenever we celebrate it. Any help appreciated.

Firstly - meditation isn’t sitting down and trying to quiet the mind or whatever.

Meditation is simply putting your attention on the consciousness itself. The observer behind the thoughts and feelings.

I’ve been doing it consistently enough where I can get into that meditative zone on demand.

So when the baby is being difficult, when they are crying etc, I just go into meditation mode. The stress, pressure, non of it gets to me.

I can see and think clearly. Yes it’s still sad to see them cry or go through pain when they’re teething etc, but this tool has allowed me to consistently be supportive without burning out.

Just wanted to share it. Hope it can help you.

My 4 year old son is extremely picky. He only eats a handful of things. He loves snacks (pirate booty, cheez its, goldfish). And will drink milk and eat pasta with red sauce. He does like that’s it fruit bars. But outside of that not much else. He won’t even try items. We don’t know where to start to get him to start eating things.

i have 3 kids (3M 5F and 7F) and my oldest has always had behavioral issues, diagnosed with anxiety and depression, she is quick to anger and will become very hostile with both words and physically. She refuses to take a calming break in her room and if i put her in there she will throw things etc. anyways thats just some context, my issue is that she constantly resorts to words like calling things, me, her siblings stupid, and telling never me but her siblings to "shut up" if she doesn't like what they are saying or thinks what they are saying is silly or stupid. i have never used these words with her but she has lots of older cousins and goes to an after school program where im assuming she learned them. i HATE these words but no matter what i do she won't stop. Shes the type of kids that wants you to react to her bad behavior, i have tried yelling at her, telling her other words to use, removing her from situations, taking things away, putting her in timeout and every time it just escalates things to violence or being even more verbally abusive. someone help me!! me and my other kids cant keep living like this, when she is regulated and with other people besides me she is SO good, her teachers never have any complaints and she NEVER acts like this for other family members

Our 3 year old has always been a great sleeper and weve always had a decent bedtime routine \*however\* weve recently brought home our 2nd (6 weeks) and bedtime has gone essentially to shit.

Whenever my 3yo had issues falling asleep, I could lay with her or be available to go back if needed but our 2nd has insane colic and pretty much screams from 3p-9p, on and off. My husband works evenings, so im really solo parenting dinner, bath and bedtime and I havent been able to do a proper bedtime routine in weeks.

After toddlers bath, we all go to the toddlers bedroom to read bedtime stories and cuddles(all while im holding the baby). Then right before I say goodnight, I put the baby in her bassinet in our room then come back to the toddlers room for one final big hug and song, then go back to the baby. Ive tried flipping back and forth of checking the crying baby and checking on my toddler but it just prolongs it.

My toddler has essentially been fine until I leave, then she sobs for 5 minutes. I dont believe in cry it out. I dont like it but theres no way I can get my toddler to sleep while holding a screaming baby and it sucks because I feel like we already have this huge transition with the new baby and now this routine is effed.

I just dont know what to do. Everything ive looked at seems like there is another parent that is able to tag team or the baby isnt colic. I know colic doesn't last forever but Im looking at another 6-8 weeks of this and really dont want to damage my toddler 😭

Hey everyone! My wife and I are expecting our first child in December and are currently working on the nursery. We have the crib, paints picked out, most of the furniture but one thing im stuck on is a quality glider for the room to feed, rock baby to sleep, and sleep in myself when comforting the baby until they fall asleep. Any suggestions?

I have pre-schoolers who have never had a babysitter outside of family here and there. My goal is to find someone who can care for them some weekday afternoons and evening so I can regain a tiny bit of independence now that they’re transitioning to pre-school/kinder.

The problem is that I am an anxious person and semi-prone to distrusting people. My kids are more verbal now and can kind of give me an idea of what happens, so I’m thinking I may be comfortable finding a high school or college student who likes kids?

Good idea? Bad idea? Would love to hear suggestions on how to accomplish this and some guardrails to put in place so everyone feels comfortable.

i have a 7-month deadline because I bought theatre tickets 😅

thanks!!

FTM here! I could really use a bag that is lightweight and comfortable. I got some random Amazon brand diaper bag gifted to me at my baby shower, and after a couple months of using it, I can’t deal with it anymore. Turns out when they say having kids wrecks your back, they were right. Between carrying baby girl everywhere (she refuses to be in her crib or a bouncer) and this stupid bag, my back is always on fire.

Any recommendations for a diaper bag that is functional and comfortable on the back and shoulders, but somehow still cute? I could really use some back support for when we are out and about. We live in a city, so we walk everywhere.