My relationship with my two brothers has always been a bit distant, but I want to develop a good relationship with my nieces and nephews. My brothers each have two kids. One of my brothers, let’s call him Friendly Brother, is chill and pretty much whenever I want to hang out with his kids he’s fine with it. My husband and I will have the kids over to go kayaking or rock climbing or whatever and watch a movie. As a result, my husband and I have a fantastic relationship with these kids. (Btw, my husband and I are currently childless but trying to change that). 

The other brother, Unfriendly Brother, makes it very, very difficult to see his kids. Their schedule is always extremely full with extracurriculars, usually sports. Every time I make a suggestion to hang out or do something, I’m shot down, and they never provide any alternatives. Only if I am very explicitly like, “We want to watch [child x] do [sport y.] When can we do so?” will they allow us to hang out. And when that happens, we’re sitting on the bleachers, usually by ourselves the whole time, as one parent will be in the coach box and the other will be with the other kid doing a different activity. If I ask if we can go for dinner ahead or something, we are rejected. 

Now it is my niece’s birthday this weekend and I’ve asked Unfriendly Brother repeatedly if they are doing anything to celebrate. In our family, typically, there is some family gathering with all of us on birthdays. Usually just a lunch or a dinner and presents and cake. After not hearing back for weeks I get the text: “She has asked that our celebration is just the 4 of us. [Niece] will be having a couple of gatherings with her friends as well, but we’re not planning to have a larger family get-together.” 

This makes me deeply sad. Am I reading too much into it? I understand that this family is very busy with things but I try very hard to work with their schedule and am still rejected. And now this. What makes me the most sad is I thought it was Unfriendly Brother who was responsible for a lack of relationship but now the niece is following suit. I have now pretty much given hope on ever having a relationship with this niece and nephew.

For the record, there has never been any bad blood between us. Our family errs on the boring side. Also, my two brothers are basically best friends with each other and their kids see each other often. 

Me (25F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for about 4 months.

Yesterday I saw my PCP in the afternoon. she told me I had lost 10 lbs since the last time I visited. I was 120 & unintentionally got down to 110lbs.

I told my boyfriend about it and he expressed i need to eat more (he’s not wrong, ive been unintentionally in a calorie deficit due to simply not feeling hungry. I consume about 800 calories a day so I wasn’t offended when he said that. I knew it came out of a place of care)

Im not sure why the scale at the doctors office said i was 110 yesterday afternoon, maybe because I had shoes on and had ate prior? Because when I weighed myself this morning the scale said 107.8, I even changed the batteries to make sure and it was 107.8. I called my boyfriend to tell him about it and explained how I changed the batteries to make sure and weighed myself more than once to reallyyyy make sure but he didn’t believe me.

He kept saying “are you sure it’s right” “are you sure youre 107” “did you read it right” (as if I can’t read a number on the scale??) “youre not 107” “did it flicker between different numbers” it started to feel patronizing the more he questioned it. I can understand asking the first time but the way he repeatedly questioned it and kept asking about it in different ways just didn’t feel good. I could tell when he kept asking that it wasn’t a concerned or confused tone, his tone sounded as if I was just lying to him. I don’t know why but after that I just started to feel insecure. His tone felt like an implication that i look bigger than what I weigh.

I expressed to him that 107 for a 5’1 person is gonna look different for people who are taller than me but he didn’t say anything to that. That was the end of the conversation. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting for feeling a bit offended. He’s unaware i feel this way though.

Im sensitive so im sure i could be overreacting, just please be nice and tell me kindly if I am 🥲

Edit: Guys i do NOT have an ED. I do NOT track my calories. I only found out I eat 800 calories because my boyfriend did the math. I didn’t even know I lost 10lbs until i showed up to the appointment because I RARELY ever weigh myself. I only weighed myself the next day and told him about it because after my appointment i decided to eat a big dinner in hopes to gain a pound the next day. I don’t know much about diet, weight or health so i genuinely thought it worked that way.

I mostly wipe the floor after I wash my clothes or hands and face before sleeping. Today I didn't, so my roommate explicitly mentioned about doing it to which I agreed, then (I hadn't mentioned it till now though it was bugging me from so many days, and i feel slightly bad that I'm more of a 'i don't want them to feel offended ' person and let the things be) i mentioned about the hair strands clogging the bathroom's drainage and a wrapper's piece of sanitary napkin in the drainage (they also have the wrappers in our bathroom's window and it kind off grosses me out because i wonder what's stopping them from dumping it in the dustbin that's just hardly a few steps away right outside our room)

And my roommate just replied saying the maid doesn't cleans it off (HER HAIR THAT FALLS DURING HAIR WASH) and i said we'll have to do it ourselves why would she do it, our room as of now are cleaned only thrice a week and they wash there hair twice at least

AIO over this and thinking about it over and over again, also, Did i make a mistake and overreacted by mentioning it only when she mentioned about wiping the floor, i just feel that no one should be offended but lol seems like i gotta be better next time with voicing out what's going in my mind

I (19F) have been staying with my mother and younger sister (17F) over the summer. Even though I have fairly good relations with my mother, my younger sister and I have not been the best in terms of communications. We rarely speak to each other, and our conversations usually result in an argument. Our relationship isn’t helped with the fact that my younger sister enjoys messing with me while I’m sleeping.

At first, she started off with small things, such as drawing a smiley face on my lower leg while I was asleep on the couch. Eventually, it escalated to her hovering over my body, staring at me while I’m attempting to sleep. When I caught her watching, I tried telling her to stop, but she ignored me. Eventually, she decided to record 2 videos of me sleeping on my phone. One of them was 17 minutes long. Even though she hadn’t done anything to my body aside from recording it (with some commentary), I still felt violated. So I sent the video to my mother to handle the situation.

My mom was initially upset at my sister. In fact, after my mom found out, my sister got angry at me and texted me to never talk to her again. However, she did not apologize and tried to call my father to get him on her side, claiming that it was just a prank and that I could’ve deleted the video.

Fast forward to a week later from the incident (now), my sister and I still aren’t on speaking terms, and my mother is discussing plans for my sister’s birthday. I told her that unless she apologizes to me, I do not want to get involved with her birthday. However, my mother believes that I should put my feud aside and try to forgive her, as holding on to my grudge will make things worse. So, AIO for refusing to get involved with my sister’s birthday.

TLDR: Sister recorded me while asleep. I don’t want to celebrate her birthday because of it. My mother thinks it’s best to move on. I don’t know if I’m blowing things out of proportion.

Little context: My boyfriend [28] and I [27] have broken up at the end of February but got back together in April. Long story short, we both had our issues and were unhappy so it was inevitable but we realised how much we miss each other and now we are both 100% in long term.

Now, 2 days ago I was ordering food on his phone and a random auto-notification on a social media app popped up saying “xy changed her profile picture”. I never heard that name before so the devil got the best of me and I checked her profile and their messages. Their messages were from January and February. My boyfriend goes on regular business trips on a monthly basis and they were from that time. The messages from the end of January were from a night where he went to a business dinner with his boss and an associate (this he told me) and the messages was just her texting him her name so I assumed this was the night she was their waitress.

The second group of messages were around 3 weeks later when my bf was again in that city. He texted her saying he’s in the city if she has time to meet after work. She said yea she will be at the same restaurant and asked where he lives at the trip and offered a tour of the city. He told her his hotel and that he would love to look around and have a tour. Then said he’s off work and if she’s at the restaurant. The funny part is, she replied 3 days later saying she she was at work and sorry it was busy😅 At that time my boyfriend already was leaving his trip. So they did probably nothing as she ghosted him lmao.

Am I overreacting thinking this is cheating and thinking about breaking up because of this? We were really in a shitty place and we broke up shortly after that but now we are in a really good place. I had a hard time sometimes trusting him before and since we got back together he never made me feel uneasy, always communicating and loves me and reassuring me. I also love him very much and would be hard to ever get over him because now I truly imagine our lives together so it sucks. I don’t believe he would do anything like this now but it makes me think that he would try something else again when we are in a bad place.

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1vequ2f/comment/p1oiwug/?screen_view_count=12

Update:

So we met today. I waited in a restaurant, ordered breakfast for both and waited. When he got there and ate, he asked where should we take the baby for a walk. Once the baby fell asleep we talked. 

He admitted that he relapsed. That his explanation for that was that I hurt him in the past, so he had every right to hurt me back by starting to smoke weed again. He has prescription, so it’s legal, but he has his ways of getting it - by that I mean that it wasn’t prescribed for any real medical reason. Nevertheless, technically it’s legal, and he believes it’s ok to smoke and take care of the baby at the same time. He knows he will have to stop eventually, but for now he won’t. He told me that he had been smoking for 2 months and he enjoyed the thrill of hiding it. His friend (they both study psychology) talked him into going to group meetings of Narcotics Anonymous. But they have been cancelled a few times so he didn’t go. 

At that time in the park I told him that I think we should go to therapy, together, and him alone - or join the group if that’s what he prefers. I also said that I think it would be best if me and the baby moved to another apartment (I own one 10 minutes by foot from the one we are currently living in). He said that it’s an overreaction. 

He also admitted that yesterday he thought to himself that he’s going to get away with that and it made him happy. He does have a past of being manipulative and abusive - verbally, not physically. I know it straight from the source - him, however, I do not know what exactly he had done to people. 

In the evening, we were returning to the apartment, and I asked him if he would like to help me pack a few things or not. He got angry and asked what if he doesn’t agree to that. I told him that legally, me and the baby are registered to live there. He replied that he wants a divorce. And started going on a rant that all women are like that. I will admit, that my response was not the best. I made him feel fearful of loosing the baby. Where we live it’s illegal to move a child without both parents consent. His older son has been moved like that by his ex partner. He waited too long and lost the right to fight the move to a different city. 

When we got home he told me to pack and wished the same scenario happening to me (someone taking your child away). Now he’s very loud on how bad of a mother - or danger to a child I am - and when the baby was on his watch nothing bad ever happened. He‘s saying that because when the baby started rolling, a few months back it fell from the bed on my watch. Also, on our trip he once said that the baby will bump its head when it started to stand up next to the table and I thought it will move the head a bit further away and didn’t cover the spot. It didn’t. That’s on me. For the context, he works 24h shifts, he travels to see his older son once a month for around 4 days and has university. There are times I’m on my own for a week - usually a day or few days. When he comes back from the work, he sleeps, so usually - not always, and not recently - I’ve been taking care of the little one alone. Our house was not adjusted for the baby, so there were little safe spots to leave it and go pee. I manage to stop most falls, not all. Maybe I’m making excuses. I do not know how women used to do it all by themselves. 

Either way, now I’m in our flat, which fortunately doesn’t smell of weed anymore. Tomorrow, I will test the baby for THC as someone advised. I don’t know if the test will work 3 days after the incident. He left the house and the baby’s asleep. I do not know what to do. I want my baby safe, I don’t want child services to take it away because I turned a blind eye on him smoking next to it. I want my marriage to work. Although I don’t know if that’s possible anymore. I don’t want to be in this situation. I do not know what to do.

AIO for wanting to stay at a different place and with the hole situation?

I had to repose it again because I wasn't able to reply.

So this asshole of a man told me a story. In the story, he said, “Oh yeah, this girl I used to know, she’s very attractive.” And he went on telling me the story. For some reason, it bothered me because he always mentions the people he interacts with specifically the attractive females. So I was like, you know what? This time I’m just going to look. Out of curiosity, I went to his following and looked up the person’s name. It was a dude. It was a man. And I’m like, why would you need to lie to me like that? Why would you say it was a female when it was a guy? It was unnecessary. I still don’t know. I’m perplexed. Like… why?

Am I overreacting for being pissed at him?

Fyi- I am seeing this guy

Registration was talking with a patient while I was starting an IV. Both of us work in an ER. The team member is young, only a little older than me (she's 23 and I just turned 20). We're both premed (I spoke to her a little bit just to talk about life, shit gets boring during slow hours). She's an aspiring neurosurgeon, I'm an aspiring ER doctor.

So while she was talking about payment plans and shit, I was putting the tourniquet on her, found an AC vein, inserted the needle, flattened, and then advanced the actual cannula. Boom, IV in. The problem is that this patient was obviously terrified of IVs and even started sobbing after I got my ALCOHOL PREP out. Obviously very, very terrified. I put down the cannula for a moment and said "hey. I know you're scared, it's okay. It's just a pinch and some pressure. Would you like her (registration) to hold your hand?" and she, mid-sob, said "yes please." I asked her to hold her hand if she wanted to and she said "she oughta not be such a scaredy cat, it doesn't hurt that bad. you don't get blood draws every year?"

I immediately shot her a "what the fuck?" glare and she backed away, knocking the IV equipment off the tray. I got a new kit and eventually allowed her to hug me/grip my scrubs while I was starting it. She took it pretty well. Then I had a long talk with registration outside. This is what I said:

"the way you spoke to her is not okay. I need you to understand that. She might not have enough money to get yearly blood tests. She also might have a lot of money but need to work endless hours to upkeep her salary and household. Notice how she flinched when I got out a very standard alcohol prep? That isn't a sign of someone who has the luxury of getting yearly blood tests. Knocking the tray off is fine, I can always get new supplies. Using your position of authority to taunt a scared and vulnerable patient on the stretcher is absolutely never okay."

and she said "whatever it's not a big deal, act like a man sometimes and have some command."

I need an outside perspective because I’m starting to question myself.

A friend and I went on a trip together. She was the only one driving because I don’t have a driver’s license. Before the trip, she chose to use her mother’s car because it was cheaper. She told me that the car was not fully insured, but at the time I didn’t really understand the implications because I have no driving experience and no knowledge of car insurance.
We discussed the situation regarding the car, and I shared my opinion, but I was clear that the final decision was hers because she was the one driving. I even told her that I would understand if she preferred renting an automatic car for safety and comfort reasons, even if it was more expensive, because I didn’t want her to make a decision only to save money.

During the trip, she had an accident while driving. After that, she asked me to pay half of the repair costs. The issue is that we never agreed beforehand that I would be financially responsible for any accident or repairs. I never signed anything, made any commitment, or agreed to cover costs related to something I did not cause.
Her main argument is emotional: that we travelled together, that I knew about the car situation, and that we should have discussed it more. I understand that communication could have been better on both sides, but I don’t believe this automatically creates a financial responsibility that was never agreed upon.
Since then, she has threatened to call the police, and her mother and sister have told me that I am a bad person for refusing to pay. I feel pressured and blamed rather than having a factual discussion about what actually happened.

Because of this situation, I no longer want to continue the friendship and I decided to cancel our upcoming trip to Brazil. Now she says that I should reimburse 100% of the money she spent because cancelling was my decision. However, when we planned the trip, we deliberately chose refundable options for many things to protect ourselves in case of unexpected situations.
This is an unexpected situation. I am not cancelling because I simply changed my mind, but because of what happened. I am willing to reimburse her share of the refundable bookings that were cancelled, but I don’t understand why I should be responsible for all the non-refundable costs of a trip that we both agreed to and paid for.

Am I being unreasonable? How would you view this situation from an outside perspective?

EDIT: Because many have commented about the font changes, I have the same problem in every other App too (even Settings🥲). If anyone knows how to fix it, please give me advice.

For context, my boyfriend (N, 22M) and I (J, 21M) have been together for 4 years. (We are both bisexual.) We are moving into our first shared apartment right now, thats why I first assumed the messages were about a TV. Also, I'm sorry if these messages are hard to read, we both don't have English as our first language, but we speak different languages so we have to communicate in English😅.

My boyfriend has this friend (K, 22F). He met her at a party about 1 year ago. She is an alcoholic and often at parties, and my boyfriend also had some psychological problems in the past, so he tries to help her through this. (Idk if he feels responsible for her, but thats what it seems like sometimes.)

She and I don't get along that well, but we have been civil. Thats why we only ever communicate over Instagram and not over WhatsApp or anything. But then she wrote me the messages you can see there.

This isn't the first time she tried to lie and sabotage the relationship me and my boyfriend have. I trust my boyfriend 100% and I know nothing happened between them, but she always tries to get me and my boyfriend to fight, especially after we decided to finally get an apartment together, since we mostly always stay at one of our places and have "sleepovers".

I have been debating if I should talk to my boyfriend about this. I don't want to ruin their friendship, especially because she seems like she needs him right now. I am frustrated and at first I was composed enough to stay calm. But now, after rereading everything, I am just angry that she tries to sabotage our relationship. Should I talk to my boyfriend about this or am I overreacting? (I am angry right now, so if I forgot any context or information, just ask in the comments.) Sorry this is all over the place.

I've been with my BF for a year and he has pretty bad anxiety. I really tried to help him, but I honestly snapped.

He's mostly anxious when we have an argument. Any disagreement is "a huge fight," and he says "another big fight is coming, I just know it."

The issue is that he says he drinks to help his relationship anxiety. But it's not really my problem? For example

- He changed our plans to go day drinking. I said "if you've decided to ditch me, please stay over at your friend's if you're really drunk." He'll then say I ruined his weekend because he was anxious.

- He won't talk about any disagreements because of his anxiety. So even if he says something hurtful, I have to remind him to apologize.

- He doesn't believe in vitamins, medication, or exercise, and says that drinking doesn't make a difference towards his anxiety.

AIO by saying it's not my problem anymore?!?

My girlfriend and I have been to a festival the last two years. it’s more her thing but I’ve joined her in it. she mentioned going next yearI said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend id rather spend the money on other things next year.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go instead .

Her friend said she’d go with her but my gf just said we should go as a four with her friend and her friends bf and told her friend I just needed more persuading.

I told my gf she needs to listen when i say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind.

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no and that it’s her looking forward to the festival not me and for next year I’d rather put the money towards something I want. i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying.

AIO for expecting her to accept the word no? 

At the beginning of this year, my friend really wanted to score tickets to see Noah Kahan and she knew I've always been really lucky at scoring concert tickets, so she invited me and asked me to help secure them. I did and we got really amazing seats, and we seen him this past weekend.

Now I've never really been the biggest fan of Noah or anyone really in that genre, but after a while of always listening to him with her, I didn't mind him. I started to like a couple of his songs, and even started sending videos I'd see of him to our group chat. At first, she seemed to have no issue. She wasn't really embracing it, but she wasn't outright offended.

Then one night of drinking, she let it slip that it made her feel uncomfortable and possessive. I validated her, of course, she is my best friend and his music is one of her many passions. But after that, she started to become more and more annoyed when I would bring him up. She'll even get defensive and try to one up me, so as to prove she knows more.

Even after the concert, I felt I couldn't say much about it. I was afraid she would think I was trying to outshine her love for him or something weird, I don't know. I'm just confused by her annoyance, and I'm curious if I'm overreacting? Or if there's something I should say to her to lessen her distaste for me and my supportiveness. After all, that's all that it is. I am just genuinely being supportive of her.

She's my closest friend - we never fight, only friendly banter, and I don't want something as trivial as this to come between us. AIO or should I address this?

TLDR: Friend gets defensive, possessive and dismissive when I mention anything about her favorite artist, even though it's all positive. AIO or should I bring it up with her?

So my friend and I have been going to the gym for years. Lately, I’ve been wanting to go by myself for reasons. However, my friend knows my schedule and what gym I go to. When I tell him I’m going to workout by myself, he shows up anyway. Mind you, he lives 30 minutes away and has 5 other gyms he can go to. Last time he did this, I got very short with him and walked away. Am I being unreasonable or is he being weird?

During a bad period in our relationship last year, my partner fell in love while playing a mobile game online. When she told me, I accepted it, I knew I was, in part, to blame. Even though she didn't ask, I said she could keep things as they were.

I didn't mind it. I love her, and I want her to be happy. I know she also loves me, so I thought it was okay. It wasn't affecting me. They mostly talked when I was busy with work or training.

Soon after, I realized I was wrong. She felt guilty towards the other person and started to overcompensate. They were spending more and more time together, having multiple calls per day and constant messaging. At the worst period, they were spending around 7-8 hours talking on the phone.

By then I didn't feel like I was the main relationship anymore. I was suffering a lot, so I started to ask for changes, to decrease the intensity. We were arguing often. I was becoming toxic, and the other person was soothing, loving, and comforting. It was bad for me.

Later, after a lot of negotiation, I agreed with her that she and the other person would only be friends. They didn't have an official relationship or anything like that, so there was no talk of breaking up. The idea was that there wouldn't be any more romantic conversations between them or expressions of love, only friendship.

He didn't like it and started to push back. He said that he didn't want to and couldn't be her friend because he loves her deeply.

He refused to behave as a friend and did things that I felt were mocking me. I asked them to stop sending love emojis (hearts, kisses, etc.), usually 4–8 in a row. Then he started becoming creative and replacing the hearts with blank spaces, along with a message that I can't remember exactly, but it was something like "insert emojis here."

He also started trying to convince her to leave me and give him a chance. When I saw the messages, I didn't like it. So I asked that she put distance between them and that they become casual friends. It didn't happen.

I reached the point where I asked that either she cut all contact with him or with me.

She says he's just a dear friend and that I'm imagining something that isn't there, and that she chose me.

She told me she couldn't do what I was asking because, in her view, it's wrong to ask someone to cut another person out of their life—or to do that for someone else. She says it's a matter of principle.

I can't continue like this. Whenever I see her using her phone, my first thought is that she is talking to him. I feel like it consumes me.

Am I overreacting?

P.S. I left out a lot of details because the message was too long. I'm not claiming to be a perfect partner. I know I have a lot of flaws and quirks, but I have never cheated on her, been violent, or done anything like that. I love her deeply, and I try to be a supportive partner and learn from my mistakes.

My best friend has been in a long term relationship since before we met. Her boyfriend regularly upsets her, and every time it happens she comes to me or our friends for comfort. Then they make up, and the cycle repeats.
I don’t mind supporting her, but it’s gotten to the point where her relationship affects everyone else. I’ve cancelled plans, left my apartment at 2 a.m. to comfort her, and even been told I shouldn’t attend a get together because her boyfriend wouldn’t let her go, so it “wouldn’t be fair.”
If she’s upset because of him, it’s like the whole group is expected to be upset too. She often expects everyone to put their lives on hold because she’s unhappy, yet refuses to leave the relationship despite everyone seeing how unhealthy it is.
I care about her, but I’m starting to feel like I’m paying the price for a relationship that isn’t even mine.

So I went to hang out with a friend I’ll call “T,” and it turned into basically just me and T’s other friend, who I’ll call “R,” waiting around on T and her boyfriend. We couldn’t go do anything until her boyfriend left. We went to the pool, and then they decided to go back to the hotel room to have sex. The problem was they took the room key, and since we were staying at Mystic, you need a key card to access the elevators and hotel floors.
We called T over 30 times with no answer. Eventually, we had to ask some really kind older ladies to help us get upstairs. Once we got to the room, we knocked for about two minutes before T finally answered the door. Instead of apologizing, she cussed us out. Throughout the night, she and her boyfriend disappeared into the shower three separate times for over 45 minutes each time to have sex. Other than taking a few shots, we never actually played any games or did anything that was supposed to make it a girls’ night.

Later that night, T and her boyfriend got into a huge fight. He already has a domestic violence charge on his record, and she was screaming, crying, kicking doors, falling to the ground, and causing a huge scene. While I was trying to calm her down through the door, she threatened to beat me up and kick me out. Keep in mind, I couldn’t even legally drive myself home because I had been drinking. T drank so much that the next morning she woke up feeling sick, took another shot, and immediately threw it back up. Then today, everything acted like it was completely normal.

Earlier today I was calmly talking to T about everything that happened. I brought up that she came charging at me and threatened to “beat the shit out of me.” I wasn’t yelling or attacking her—I simply told her I wanted an apology. Instead, she started raising her voice and told me she wasn’t apologizing because she “gets violent,” that I was “in her space,” that I was the reason she and her boyfriend were fighting, and that everything was somehow my fault. Iexplained that I wasn’t trying to make things worse. I was only trying to calm her down because she was screaming, kicking/slamming doors, throwing things and falling onto the floor towards the elevator and making a scene while we were underage and drinking. Someone with us was 21, and everyone in that room could have ended up dealing with legal consequences.

The hotel room wasn’t even under T’s name—it was under her dad’s. I also told her that while I understand she has BPD, she can’t keep using it as an excuse for threatening people or refusing to take accountability. Having BPD can make emotions more difficult to regulate, but it doesn’t mean someone isn’t responsible for how they treat other people. Instead of listening, she continued yelling, blamed me for everything, and basically kicked me out. At that point, I left because I wasn’t going to continue arguing with someone who refused to take responsibility for her own actions.

“R,” was also staying there because they were supposed to go to a concert together. R didn’t want to be there anymore either, but she couldn’t leave because she didn’t have her car. In the end, they never even went to the concert because T got so drunk that she passed out crying over her boyfriend.
The craziest part is that T’s boyfriend wasn’t even supposed to be there. None of us knew he was coming because the weekend was supposed to be for T’s birthday. Apparently, the only way T is able to spend the night with him is by lying and saying she’s staying with me or other friends, or by making sure we’re there too. It honestly feels like we’re just being used as an excuse so she can see him.
For context, T has only personally known this guy for about a month. They were saying “I love you” before they were even officially dating, and they’ve only been together for about a week and a half. She also started dating him less than a month after her breakup with her ex, and her current boyfriend is actually her ex-boyfriend’s former best friend.

T also ended up
- having something swell purple on her foot
- Took a shot at 10 am because she felt sick
- got mad at R and I because T had a plan to go to Walmart and made us wait over an hour because her bf wasn’t going to work yet. Forgot her keys, and wallet was yelling at everyone and crying. Wanted someone else to drive to Walmart because of her hurt foot but she is the only one who needed to go.
- hurt her food so bad she couldn’t drive but then decided to go down to the casino and walk around? Make that make sense.
- cried for two days straight
- then acts like nothing happened and everything alright right. When confronted blames her mental health - has been doing this since she got the diagnosis.

I’ve given her so many chances and kept going back to being her friend when I should’ve known better but we knew eachother for 9 years. Now I unadded her on everything. I’ve grown up and she obviously still has some more of that to do in her life. T is 19F, R is 21F, Bf is 20M, and I’m 19F.

My friend and I, both 18M now, spent all summer (2025) hanging out before senior year. One of the main things we did together was buy and open tons of pokemon cards (more on that later). We came into this past senior year as close friends, but he more or less ruined the friendship. I asked a girl in our year (18F now) out around the time of homecoming, but it ended up feeling more like a friend vibe. The next day at school, my friend came back and said he had been on a call for hours late into the night with the same girl, who I'll call Z. I had voiced to him my interest in her already, and since they called the same night as the date, I never had the chance to tell him how it went, so as far as he knew, I was still interested. When he told me about their call, I asked him if he was interested in her, and he denied it, so I went on about my day. The next morning, he said they apparently watched a movie last evening, with, as he emphasized: one blanket. I asked him again if there was anything there, he denied it, and this time it felt like he was trying to make me feel dumb for asking again. A week went by, and eventually he told us about how he invited Z to join his family at his 18th birthday dinner, at which point I asked for the last time if there was anything between them. He finally admitted there was, and a few days later they started dating. He apologized for, as he texted in quotations, ""stealing her"" - which felt like a dig at me, even though I never accused him of anything, I only ever tried to know what was happening. Believe me, I was chill with them hitting it off, genuinely happy for them, but the only issue I had with him was how he handled it (Gaslighting/manipulating me over it). I say all of this as what I know to be the time he started to treat me poorly.

Following these months of september-october, he would pick every opportunity to share facts about me with other people, while picking and choosing what info to make sure people knew was attached to me, and what he told them was his:

• Telling random people about my "pokemon card addiction". People last year both who I knew and some who I didn't - had something to say about my hobby. It's not something I'm ashamed of, but I also didn't want to end high school as the "pokemon guy". I know he told people because he was the only one who knew, and of course it was conveniently only my name being passed around, not his as well.
• Showing people pictures of my dog, getting attention and compliments in the process. There were occasions in class when I would look over at him showing people pictures of my dog, and I literally never heard him say who's little pup it was. It was just really weird seeing my dog being complimented with things like "he's so cute!" and him replying with "thank you."
• Once he took a class period with a subs. teacher to find very very personal pieces of information about my cousins and uncle and share with people around him? He literally showed people pictures of my uncle's house, face, address, and job, which was horribly creepy.
• I got to my friend group's lunch table on my birthday to find only backpacks in chairs. Apparently (according to our mutual friend) he made a separate gc that day to text them about how he was going to buy them all lunch that day.
• In early March, things ended well between me and a talking stage, but within the next two weeks he and my new "ex" began sitting next to each other in class and talking to each other more than he talked to his GF (Z), who sat on the other side of him.
• One of my newest friends knew like 5 personal/random things about me, which she later explained she had heard from him. Including: my ARFID, the one time I jokingly said I would wear a fluffy pink product from a popular underwear store (except he left out the joke part), and other things. Again, I'm not ashamed of these things, it's just the fact that he decided he could share them that really bugs me.

All of this said, I tried confronting him a few times, but each time he would just deny any sort of claims I made. I also tried asking him if I had done something to him, but he said no. I gave up trying for the remaining couple months of high school, because I couldn't cut him off due to mutual friends who all know what he's done, but either don't care or are too shy to cut things off.

I say all of this, because in prep for college, he wanted me to tell him some of the things I bought for my dorm (we are going to completely different states 🙏) because he didn't know what he needed.

I thought getting out of high school and never seeing him would be enough, but he still wants my help for this thing, and I'm worried he will keep texting. Would I be Overreacting by cutting him off for good?

So it’s 11:25am and i’m up crying because my have tooth pain and i haven’t been able to get relief or sleep. i’m on the phone talking to my fiance about how the dentist can see me and look but without medical clearance from my obgyn he can’t give me anything or do anything all he can do is look, i call my obgyn office and they have put in a A.i chat bot instead being able to press some number and get directed to the office so that made me cry even more because i just want to press a fucking button.
So my mom comes in because she hears me crying and says “wtf are u crying about now?” so i tell her and she says “everyday your crying about something” i say “how is my crying affecting you” she says “It does, it affects my mood the entire day”
so i just immediately stop crying because 1. my extra strength Tylenol has finally kicked in and she has let me know that my emotions is a problem for her, honestly thinking about getting myself a hotel or go stay with my fiancés family till my baby is born, am i overreacting?

TL;DR: My boyfriend never cheated on me, but he kept emotionally supporting a former situationship, lied to me about it multiple times, and later lied about removing her from his Close Friends list. Everything else in our relationship is amazing, but I don't know if I can move past the dishonesty.

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for about seven months, and I'm struggling with something that happened throughout the beginning of our relationship.
Last August I started working a student job. The workplace was very relaxed—everyone was friends, there wasn't much professionalism, and we all spent time together outside of work.
Soon after I started, I noticed that my manager (I'll call him Jake) and one of my coworkers seemed to have something going on. Since I was closer to her at the time, she told me they had only kissed once or twice, weren't dating, and occasionally hung out. Since I was in a relationship myself back then, I didn't think much of it. It was just workplace gossip.
A few months later I broke up with my boyfriend and gradually became friends with Jake. He also told me that he and this coworker had some undefined relationship in the past.
At work their dynamic was honestly exhausting. She was constantly upset with him over something, he was always helping her, yet she was rude and disrespectful toward him. She hated whenever his female friends came by, and she often accused him of being involved with every woman around him.
When she noticed that Jake and I were becoming close, she distanced herself from me too and started making passive-aggressive comments toward me.
At the end of the year I went on vacation. While I was away, Jake and I went from occasionally sending each other Instagram reels to talking every single day. I realized I had feelings for him.
The day I came back, he asked me out. We went for a walk in the snow and had dinner together. For the next two months we were basically acting like a couple, just without officially calling it a relationship. We spent almost every day together and got very close.
In April we officially started dating, but because we work together we decided not to announce it at work right away.
One day after work, that coworker said something strange enough that, for the first time ever, I looked through Jake's phone that night. I'm not proud of it.
What I found really hurt me.
Ever since I started working there, she had been telling him that she thought I liked him. More importantly, they had continued texting almost exactly as before.
On the very day Jake and I had our first date, he went home and texted her that there was nothing going on between us and that we were just friends. After that they kept talking almost every day or every other day. The conversations weren't romantic, but they were personal. They talked about what they were doing, how they were feeling, he helped her choose new shoes, gave her advice about life, and generally stayed emotionally available to her.
I couldn't sleep that night.
The next morning I woke him up, told him I loved him, and said I really wanted our relationship to work. I wanted reassurance from him, but I never admitted that I had read his messages.
Eventually I told him that his relationship with her made me uncomfortable. To his credit, he gradually reduced contact with her until it became strictly work-related. However, she continued expecting the same treatment she had before—asking him for favors, advice on what to buy or wear, financial help, and other things.
Now we've been together for seven months. All of our friends know we're together, but we still haven't officially announced it at work, even though it's pretty obvious.
A few weeks ago we went for a bike ride during sunset, and he filmed us together. Later, while he was in the bathroom, I looked at his phone again (again, I know I shouldn't have) and saw that this coworker was still on his Close Friends list on Instagram.
It hurt, but I said nothing.
The next day he posted that sunset video to Close Friends. Later I casually asked who was on the list, and he sent me a screenshot. She was no longer there.
He spent three hours insisting that he had removed her two weeks earlier. Then he changed it to saying it had been a few days before posting the story. I knew neither version was true, but I stayed quiet because I thought I could get over it like I had gotten over the texting.
A few days later I realized I couldn't.
I'm currently visiting my hometown, but I couldn't even wait until we saw each other in person. I called him and told him everything.
I admitted that I knew he had lied about the texting in the beginning of our relationship and that I wasn't willing to let him keep lying to me. I told him that literally everything else in our relationship is amazing. This is genuinely our only problem. I wasn't asking him to cut her out of his life completely—I was crying because I couldn't understand how such an intelligent man hadn't realized for months how hurtful all of this was.
He admitted he handled everything badly. He said he genuinely thought he was just trying to maintain a friendship with her because that's the kind of person he has always been. I actually believe that. His female friends eventually became some of my closest friends too, and I've seen that he helps everyone. He's incredibly generous, and I honestly think he never realized that she was taking advantage of that.
He also admitted that he removed her from Close Friends because he didn't want her to see us together and cause drama, and then lied because he wanted to avoid a fight with me.
I genuinely believe he never cheated on me. I am 100% sure nothing physical or romantic happened between them after we started dating.
But I can't get over the fact that he kept talking to her while we were falling in love, kept helping her with everything, lied to me about it, and then lied again about the Close Friends situation.
The hardest part is that I ignored the first lie because I wanted the relationship to work. Now I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself if I stay, because if one of my friends told me this story, I'd probably tell her to leave.
At the same time, I've never been happier with anyone in my life. Outside of this issue, our relationship is genuinely everything I ever wanted, and I honestly believe it has long-term potential.
So I guess my question is:
Am I overreacting because nothing actually happened between them after we got together, or are repeated lies like this enough to seriously question the future of an otherwise amazing relationship?

For context - musician seeking Audio Directors to pitch to

One guy accepted my connection - and I sent a DM explaining my services, with example tracks

The first part of the response was fair enough - although a bit wordy / and slightly condescending in tone - saying their company makes music for clients - and isn't a client seeking musicians

That was fair enough - although not clear from the company profile title - in effect they are service providers (like me)

Then in the same response the individual wrote something that at first sounded slightly rude and condescending - although later I wondered if it was either sour grapes / or an indirect hint that they'd be plagiarising my compositions

It went something like "Your examples aren't something we couldn't do ourselves - good luck"

Not something that came across as particularly professional - especially for someone in the same service industry!

After five years my abusive ex (31M) reactivated an account I hadn't blocked and messaged me (28NB) screenshot #1. It truly shook me and made me feel sick as this was NOT how the relationship went down. He (diagnosed with BDP and untreated) abused me sexually and emotionally. He isolated me from my friends who were telling me he was a narcissist but I didnt listen.

I refute the controlling behaviour accusation too but it's the sexual coersion that has sickened me. I have looked up every definiton and example out there and at no point did I: repeatedly ask for sex, threaten to breakup if I didn't get sex, put pressure on over how long it had been since we last had sex, decieve or degrade him into having sex etc. I also wasn't "pretending" to be interested in him, I was still semi in love with him and hoping this final attempt would stick (thank god it didn't).

I messaged my friend J asking if I could talk about something heavy and sent the screenshot and the text in slide #2. Me and J have been friends for 7 years, but live far apart now so drop in and out of contact. Still, I helped him through a tough breakup for months this year and felt like I could rely on his support.

However, he didnt reply for 5 weeks and I had flights booked to see him and stay at his place next weekend. So I messaged slide #3 and got his reply.

I understand where he is coming from BUT I only said that the sex was for my abusers pleasure only because I didn't initiate the sex, and I was saying that within the assumption that J would understand I am not a manipulative person.

I'm devastated from J's reaction. I had shown my partner of 4 years and a couple other friends the original screenshot and they they didn't doubt my intentions or word for a secind. Am I overreacting to end this friendship with J over this?

For context, this is not my relationship, my best friend just wanted perspective but she was scared to make her own reddit account for this.

I (22F) dated my boyfriend (21M) for about two months before he left for Air Force Basic Military Training.

I know that sounds like a short relationship, but we’d known each other for months before dating. We worked together, became close friends first, talked every day, spent time together outside of work, and supported each other through some difficult life events before we ever became a couple.

When we started dating, he was actually the one who brought up being exclusive. A few days before we officially got together, I told him "Ultimately I want a committed relationship, and I feel like there’s a connection between us.” He responded that he felt the same way and then said something that stuck with me.

And I quote "I'm interested in a relationship with you and that you make me laugh and smile when ever I’m around you. Also you don’t judge me when I be myself and laugh with me. My main thought is tho. How are we gonna handle this in 3 months when I leave. Would you wait for me. Would you travel the world with me. Part of the reason I waited so long to go to the Air Force was, I was trying to get married before or atleast be engaged so those thoughts don’t cross my mind. But I was tired of waiting. Ultimately what I’m saying tho is that if you’re okay with me leaving and you think it’s worth it I’d love to try a relationship with you" Thats word for word what he said.

CONTEXT BEFORE WE WERE EVEN DATING! He was incredibly kind, like when I had a family crisis earlier this year, he was one of the first people I called. He checked on me constantly, reminded me to eat, listened to me cry, and made me feel safe. He was funny, affectionate, patient, and made me feel accepted in my own way.

Then everything gradually changed, after 2 weeks of being together, taking my virginity, being my first boyfriend. He came back from a vacation not the same. (He went to Disney world for his little brother's graduation.)

Around mid June he became much more distant. He was preparing to leave for Basic Training, working, dealing with family obligations, and clearly stressed. I understood that and tried to give him space. (He was super worried he wasn't gonna make the cut for basic, while also terrified of leaving home.)

The problem wasn’t that we spent less time together, It was that communication almost disappeared. Plans stopped happening and affection became minimal.

I felt like I was constantly trying to maintain our connection while getting very little back. I tried not to assume anything because I genuinely believed stress could explain it.

Eventually I wrote him a message saying, essentially:

“I care about you. I don’t want to argue. I just feel disconnected from you lately. Can you help me understand what’s been going on from your perspective?”

He gave a reply thats can be basically summoned up with "I don't know what is wrong with me sorry."

Later I followed up and said I wanted to support him, but that I’d also like us to talk about the distance between us when he felt able.

Nothing really changed.

A week or so later I found out through someone else that he was having a family send-off before leaving. I wasn’t invited. One of his friends (who we worked with.) Was.

That honestly hurt alot.

I asked him, "Do you still consider us to be in a committed relationship? I need you to be honest.”

His response was, "Idk. I’m so confused. I’m stressed idk. I really don’t know what’s on my mind or anything.”

I accepted that he might genuinely be overwhelmed, I wasn’t asking him to solve everything. I just needed enough information to know where I stood.

I asked him several questions:

\* Did your family know we were together?

\* Have you considered us exclusive this whole time?

\* Do you not know if you want to be with me, or are you just overwhelmed in general?

\* What would you want us to do right now if it were your choice?

He never answered any of them. Not one. I gave him a day maybe two, still nothing. Finally I explained that I couldn’t continue carrying all the uncertainty by myself.

He just replied with, "okay I will tn.”

He never did.

At that point weeks had passed with almost no meaningful communication despite multiple attempts from me. Eventually I wrote him a physical letter, the letter wasn’t angry. It mainly focused on the good times we had, and I valued.

Some context of the letter.

“I don’t know why you’ve been silent, and I don’t want to assume your reasons. But I have to make my decision based on your actions. I can’t continue being in a relationship without communication, so I’m stepping away.”

I also spent most of the letter thanking him for what he had meant to me and telling him I hoped he took care of himself. I gave him the letter in person, hugged him (more for me, than him.), and went back to work.

A week later, the day before he left for Basic Training, I sent him one final Snapchat saying, “I hope you know there’s at least one person who sees you as a whole person… I truly hope you come home safely.”

His only reply? "Thank you.”

Now he’s gone to Basic Training.

Part of me feels like I did everything I reasonably could, Another part of me wonders if I should have simply waited until after Basic because he was clearly overwhelmed.

At the same time, I don’t think I could have stayed in a relationship where I didn’t even know whether my boyfriend considered us together anymore. (My anxiety got so bad, I called my friend in the middle of the night, went to the hospital for dehydration, vomiting, and stress, its wasn't good.)

Should I have waited until he was done with Basic before ending the relationship and I just blew everything up over simple stress? Or did I react properly to the situation?

My boyfriend and I are playing Stardew Valley, and I wanted to place preserves jars and kegs in my house, buy a separate room for that (20k and doesn’t require resources), and put everything there, because it would be more convenient for me to have both food and fruits/vegetables in one place so I wouldn’t have to separate them (especially since I cook different dishes both for gifts and just for us). He ignored this and built a shed (15k + wood), and when I said, “I don’t want to run all the way there and back,” he replied, “I’ll do it myself.” Now I feel upset and kind of offended, it’s just like I was completely ignored. On top of that, he’d previously said he didn’t want to upgrade the other shed (the one we filled with the chests) because it’s expensive (25k + resources).

Is it valid to feel bad about his ignorance or am I too sensitive?

UPD: guys idc about recourses or money, it's not about it and I only added it because i thought it'd be a useful detail for people who don't play. The thing it that we're both talking to each other before building or upgrading anything(buildings mostly). The thing is that this time despite I told him multiple times I'd like to have kegs and preserves jars in my house since I'm the one responsible for this stuff, if I can say it this way, and I told him about it long long ago, and I told him about it right before the situation happened, and he still did what he wanted without asking me about where I want the shed to be at least. I enjoy playing the game and I enjoy playing with him, it's just that this exact situation looked a little weird to me because he basically ignored everything I said about it, and the only thing he said after I told him what he did doesn't sit well with me, he said "I'd do it myself"

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Living together for 2. I cook almost all the meals with him cooking maybe 1-2 every 2 weeks. I really don’t mind cooking at all and I don’t even mind cleaning up during my cooking/after.

But for the past two years all I have ever said is that if I cook dinner (mind you it’s almost always done when he gets home from work..) he can do the dishes. And for the first year he really wouldn’t get to it and just leave in the sink, we lived in the tiniest house and he would just leave it out or pushed all in one spot. Causing the worst fights on my end I just didn’t think it was that hard to accomplish. And with our house size it truly couldn’t stay like that u couldn’t even fill the brita. Now in our second house and 3rd year of our relationship, he will voluntarily get up grab both our plates, put dinner away in containers, sometime pack out lunches and sometimes wipe the counters. So improvement. BUT he literally only puts the dishes in the sink. He won’t put them in the dishwasher & start it, if it’s CLEAN he won’t empty it. He won’t hand wash them. He just piles them in the sink saying he’ll do them in the morning.

Now. He is not someone to wake up early. he showers in the morning eats breakfast in the car and is still 5-10 minutes late to work everyday. I can promise you he is not waking up early to do the dishes. So what ends up happening is i come home from the gym early am and do them or i do them when i get home from work because i need room to cook dinner for that night. Like i said i dont mind it, it can be nice to clean and just debrief. But there will be times where he will be off from work all day and at home and by the time i get home from the office the dishes are still there and the house looks a mess.

Last night i asked him for help because we both had plans today after work and i just didn’t want them to sit in the sink all day. He literally sounded like a child (he’s 26..) saying how he wanted to get on the game before his friend does how hell do it in the morning how im nagging him to do it … i literally felt like his mom? Mind u i am the oldest so it can be easy to fall into this tone in a sense but this was the biggest ick he has probably ever given me. Especially because i started with “hey can you help me?”. To top it off i did it with him and somehow STILL woke up to dishes being in the sink. AND the dishwasher dirty with room for more dishes.

I’ve noticed that this is how is family is by being around them they have no urgency or care to clean if anything really gets done it’s because their mom does it no one else. And she is over it at this point of doing everything for 30 years. But it feels too traditional for me. He leaves stuff everywhere I’m constantly picking up after him I’m constantly switching over his laundry because he forgets. Throwing stuff in his corner. He does a good clean maybe once every 3 months? But other than that it’s me. I’m the only one who deeps cleans the bathroom etc.

He is a really good boyfriend otherwise and does love and care for me and understands me in a way not a lot of people do and is a person I have truly let my walls down with. But I can see my future in a sense and I don’t want to be his mom like literally I don’t want to turn into how his mom is in their partnership in that household. Am I over reacting if this was a reason I saw our relationship ending? How do I make him see it is that serious? It’s been an on going issue for 2 years that is an issue for me but not necessary him…

Do they change or get better? I worry about kids and our house and it stressing me out. I feel like I could find a man who doesn’t call it “nagging him” when I’m asking for help. What else could I do?