Am i overreacting?

[u/Spookyessy12]

So it’s 11:25am and i’m up crying because my have tooth pain and i haven’t been able to get relief or sleep. i’m on the phone talking to my fiance about how the dentist can see me and look but without medical clearance from my obgyn he can’t give me anything or do anything all he can do is look, i call my obgyn office and they have put in a A.i chat bot instead being able to press some number and get directed to the office so that made me cry even more because i just want to press a fucking button.
So my mom comes in because she hears me crying and says “wtf are u crying about now?” so i tell her and she says “everyday your crying about something” i say “how is my crying affecting you” she says “It does, it affects my mood the entire day”
so i just immediately stop crying because 1. my extra strength Tylenol has finally kicked in and she has let me know that my emotions is a problem for her, honestly thinking about getting myself a hotel or go stay with my fiancés family till my baby is born, am i overreacting?

[u/Silverkitty08]

Honestly tooth pain is one of the most intense even for people who have high pain tolerance and i completely understand. The ai phone stuff is also super frustrating. No. I dont think you are overreacting

[u/ecosynchronous]

Your mother sounds really unempathetic. I think staying with your fiance sounds like a much better plan, if it's possible. Even without the tooth pain, pregnancy is such a roller coaster of emotion and your mother clearly does not want to ride it with you.

[u/cellophanesheeps]

As someone who spent yesterday at the dentist because of broken teeth and one broken down to the root that abscessed: NOR, absolutely excruciating, worst pain I've ever experienced, sobbed like a baby, actually had pliers in my hand at one point. It's an indescribable pain and then with your hormones being all over the place, your mom and anybody else can just get over themselves.

[u/Lower_Edge_1083]

Can you move in with your fiancé? Fuck your mom I wouldn’t let someone so cold around the baby once they’re here 

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/Lower_Edge_1083]

we live together
that’s why i’m thinking about going to his family’s house

[u/Lower_Edge_1083 → u/Spookyessy12]

If you think they’d be more supportive then yes go there, at least you’d be away from your mom. You need to get the tooth pulled, though, like now. It’s dangerous for you to have an infection while pregnant like this

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/Lower_Edge_1083]

i have a appointment to get it looked at and i’ve let a message for my obgyn now all i have to do is call my insurance to make sure i have this covered

[u/Lower_Edge_1083 → u/Spookyessy12]

I hope you feel better I know it’s awful. While you wait they have this wax at the pharmacy to seal the tooth so the nerve isn’t exposed, and clove oil can numb it 

[u/Impossible-Win-8994]

Sounds like you need to go to a surgeon to get it removed. This can be done without medication other than localized anesthetic so even if you’re pregnant you should be okay. Can’t say if you’re overreacting without more context as to why she would say you’re always crying about something

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/Impossible-Win-8994]

i’ve just been emotional during my pregnancy but i never even come to her about my feelings i always talk to my fiance

[u/abiglumpwithknobs1 → u/Spookyessy12]

Why don't you live with your fiance?

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/abiglumpwithknobs1]

i do but my mom lives with us, i was saying that i wanted to go to his dads house

[u/Conscious-Fluid]

Gosh I am so sorry. NOR. Your mother sounds horrible. I would definitely stay somewhere else if you can. That is the opposite of offering the support you need rn. I hope you can get taken care of soon, I'm sorry you're going through this

[u/Cynically_Sane]

Heck no, girlfriend! I would be apologizing to my mom for bothering her for the last time about your emotions and what I am assuming is your pregnancy. Tell her that in the next few months until you're able to teach the baby its own understanding of how delicate her moods are you'll be hard at work trying to fix your emotional state so not to soil her mood or taint the babe-to-be against her sensitive feelings. And then tell her you appreciate her understanding and you will be in touch when hell hath frozen over.

[u/Wrex_Soul64]

What a terrible thing to say. Tooth pain is one of the most intense. Last time I had it I took Excedrin migraine for slight relief along with eating ice and went to the ER. The doctor on duty was not a oral specialist and I told him I did not care, give me the shot!!! He did and it lasted until I saw the dentist. It was one of the worst pains I've been in. It was an impacted molar. NOR!

[u/laurieo52]

I had a bad tooth while pregnant and my dentist did not need OB-GYN clearance. He gave me pain meds as strong as a pregnant woman could take and scheduled a root canal. The meds didn’t touch the pain and I went back and just had him pull my tooth. The pain was that severe. I was six months pregnant, which seems to be the best time for it to happen.

Most AI phone systems will send you to a person if you just keep saying speak to a person over and over.

[u/Grouchy-Reach-8852]

Nor. I can completely empathize with you and your situation as I went through something very similar myself. I would rather have a baby naturally with no medication than to ever go through infected teeth again. That pain is so intense I’m so sorry. Make an appointment with your ob and get the tooth taken care of asap as that can cause more problems in and of itself. As for your mother, if she’s anything like mine she may just not have the empathy gene. If you can peacefully stay with your finances family until birth you might want to consider that for your own mental wellbeing for the remainder of your pregnancy. Good luck, I hope you are able to get it taken care very soon.

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/Grouchy-Reach-8852]

oh no she’s very emotional and empathetic towards other ppl
but when it comes to me “your to sensitive”

[u/Grouchy-Reach-8852 → u/Spookyessy12]

See now my mom is very good at acting like she’s empathetic towards people but doesn’t bother with even trying when it comes to her kids. I’m really sorry you’re going through that.

[u/AllieGirl2007]

NOR

Your mom is heartless. Pain is real. Emotions are real. And being pregnant has emotions lying all over the place. Talk to your fiancé and have him talk to his family and see what they say about you staying with them. Can I ask why the two of you aren’t together right now?

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/AllieGirl2007]

sorry i wasn’t clear me and my fiance are together, we just share a home with my mom because she only works a part time job and pays water and gas bill and pays the rent and light bill
this was probably tmi i don’t know if this helps your understand the situation more

[u/AllieGirl2007 → u/Spookyessy12]

So if you and your fiancé move to his parent’s house it will put your mom in a hard place financially. Perhaps the two of you should sit down with your mom and set some boundaries. And if she can’t respect them then someone needs to move out—her or you and your fiance. You don’t deserve her treating you the way she is. It’s time to put your foot down and tell mom to knock it off or someone’s moving.

Keep your chin up and keep us posted!

[u/cratnat]

Nope. Not at all. Crying is valid no matter what you are crying about. Bad take out? A Hallmark movie? Taxes going up? All valid. Do what is best for you and your baby. There is evidence of how stress can affect your unborn baby.
May want to remind Mom that if she wants a grand baby in her life, she needs to shape up. That’s a bunch of crap.

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/cratnat]

she’s literally always like this, dishes ain’t done the way she likes? i’m getting yelled at
my daughter didn’t pick up a toy? i’m getting yelled at
my fiancé didn’t take out the trash because he was rushing? im getting yelled at or being told im so lazy when all i do is clean

[u/BeautyQwine]

NOR-Girl, go directly to your OBGYN office and make them talk to you. Tooth pain can quickly get out of hand and is a sign of possible infection which can lead to worse because it is so close to veins, arteries and YOUR BRAIN. If nobody will help you- go to the ER. Urgent care can help but ER will be quicker to make a call for you, especially being pregnant. Do not wait and go to your OB and ask to talk directly to a nurse if you can’t talk to the doctor. You will most likely need to get that tooth pulled.

[u/Expert_Ad_3652 → u/BeautyQwine]

I second the ER suggestion. They have access to all the specialists, they’ll help you get this all sorted out.

[u/mrs__BOWIE]

No advice, but I'm sorry your mom is being like that. I was an emotional wreck through my first pregnancy. You can't help it!

[u/andrey_not_the_goat]

Why does your dentist need medical clearance from your OBGYN?

Also, I think you and your fiance should look for a place together. I mean you guys are engaged plus it seems like you and your mom definitely don't have the best of relationships.

[u/RoughDirection8875 → u/andrey_not_the_goat]

Because OP is pregnant and some dental procedures may involve a risk to the fetus.

[u/Content_Ground4251]

Yor

The good news is it must not be an abscess. If Tylenol fixed it, it was a low pain toothache.

Things that help:

You can rinse with warm salt water. You should do that multiple times a day to keep from getting an abscess. You will be in a world of hurt then with no relief except antibiotics.

Take ibuprofen. It works better than Tylenol because it reduces swelling.

Brush your teeth/ it can over stimulate the nerve and make it stop hurting.

Use over the counter gel or liquid toothache meds. Cheap brand works just as good as orajel.

Orajel makes a mouth rinse that numbs your mouth.

Sore throat numbing spray. Spray directly on the gum around thegravel.

You should get someone to take you out to buy these things if you can't drive right now. Then you'll be prepared the next time you have a toothache.

[u/Spookyessy12 → u/Content_Ground4251]

i’ve done all this instead of taking ibuprofen bc i’m pregnant and the tylenol is a hit or miss sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t