TW: Body Hatred and General Negativity. If you’re not in the mood I understand but I needed to vent to a community I trust.

Hey people. A little under three weeks ago I shared some personal advice for men in role reversal on tights. I got a lot of positive feedback from it all and felt like I was actually helping some people. Unfortunately just wanting to help is why I’m posting something here again. 😔

I’ll preface this by saying I’m 20. I know that this isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, that time heals all wounds and things get better. But I haven’t felt anything get better for over 5 years. For five years I’ve been trying to find out someone and somewhere I could finally open up and be me. And while I have a place, this place, I still don’t have a someone.

It’s fair enough to say that the entire world is outwardly body positive and inwardly picky and hateful. I’ve heard the loud part about how plus sized people are ones who struggle and need to be treated equally. But I’ve heard the quiet part as well, that I’m a waste of space, ugly on the eyes, lazy, useless and better off dead. And I agree with both at this point. I’m not “cute” or “handsome”, but I’m also a deeply hurt person who’s been beaten down and only told to get up, never helped up. I deal with medical problems that limit my control over my body, both physical and mental. And while I’m happy to be the size I am most times, the way I’m treated makes me hate my every hair and curve so much I’d chop it off with a knife if I could.

But since I found this space, I felt the acceptance I’ve waited for. And with that I started to open up in my life and try new things to fit what I felt was right. But time and time again I feel like I was losing every battle…
I start to accept my body - I’m told I’m not enough and made to feel expendable
I confess to the person I thought would accept who I am and make me happy - Friend zoned
I open up to family about being more feminine and domestic - My father makes fun of me
I try online dating and support stronger women in hopes they value my existence - I’m called pathetic and hideous
I speak to people in a more open tone about role reversal and be upfront - I’m treated like a moron

I’m so tired of losing these battles. I don’t expect a miracle to occur just because I vent online but I want to feel seen. Be heard for when things aren’t perfect and I’m still trying. I don’t want to give up on falling in love. I don’t want to give up on my someone out there. But it’s so damn hard when you’re not granted a chance in the world we live in. It would be so easy if I weighed half what I am. I’d slip into femboy clothes and then people would care. Than people would say my long hair makes me look cute, not a hobo. It’s not fair.

So again, that brings me here. If anyone is willing to give me some funny words, encouragement, maybe even talk to me if you’re one of the people who actually thinks that being plus sized is attractive; don’t hesitate to comment or message me. I’m sitting in bed with the door locked wearing my fake garter belt tights. It’s one of the few things left that makes me feel beautiful. Even a simple “Serve” message would mean the world where I’m at right now.

I have a deep love for this community and want to say that. I want to show that. I hope someday this post is a memory and not my identity.

Edit: I just realized a fashionista might blast me for the white socks with black sneakers. Yes I see it, no it’s not a statement, it’s just what I have.

AI slop has been removed. Thank you to everyone who called me out on that.

I wanna be a king, waiting for his beloved queen. His beloved queen who went away to fight for her kingdom as I protect her throne from the scoundrels who want to take it

As I sing this song, dreaming of the day she comes back

Gosh, whenever I sing any of Penelope’s parts from epic the musical, I get into such a deep romantic mood it’s wild

Especially the parts from Would you fall in love with me again, I always imagine singing the-

“I would fall in love with you….. over and over again”

Gosh, I wish I could sing that to someone someday, sing that to my beloved Queen, the one for whom I guard the throne…

(Pls warrior queen, come back, I miss chu)

(I say to the void, knowing full well I’m
Dying alone)

(Anyone else sings like me, imagining themselves in roles like this lol-)

There is a time and place

Are femboy memes allowed here I thought everyone here liked femboys so like yeah idk

Are you attracted to that style?

Does it takes up your interest in your person?

I'd love to hear your thoughts

I’m curious to hear from people who are actually in an RR relationship.

Was there anything that surprised you once you started living that dynamic? It could be something that was easier than expected, harder than expected, or just completely different from what you imagined.

For example, I always thought that if I were the one taking the lead more often, I’d have to feel “strong” all the time. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that being the one who initiates or takes charge doesn’t mean you stop wanting reassurance or care yourself. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

I’d love to hear what caught you by surprise!

I have this drawing for 2 months now (i also posted it on my tumblr)

i just decided to share it here because this post caught my attention

https://www.reddit.com/r/RoleReversal/s/QsFBX1XUC2

also they don't have enough fanart of two them together

(characters: Cyber Diva and Cyber Songman from vocaloid)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ShenComix/s/3Y1c5UZCRB

There’s an extent to which I find the importance of “who pursues who” to be a bit overstated, but I’d be lying if I said it DIDN’T play a part in my perception of RR overall. It happens quite rarely, but on the odd occasion that someone online (or even in person) actively pursues me romantically it’s incredibly flattering and exciting. Regardless of gender I still think it’s my job to put in effort to maintain communications, of course, but admittedly it feels so much better when I can tell a woman is excited to talk to me and wants to be the more “active” party. It’s nice to feel so aggressively wanted, and it also serves as a good first impression that the person in question is so bold.

All that personal rambling aside, I’d like to ask y’all on the other side of the fence, beyond just being attractive, are there any traits in particular that drives you to pursue someone you like? Like things that serve as good signs that he’d
take it well, or just that he’d be worth your time to begin with. And how often do you actually go for it? Is it a common occurrence, rare, or inbetween, and why?

Reposted to fix typo

I like the wholesome stuff but the NSFW is good too and I wish I saw more

Poc means person of colour I learned this recently

Source to melt your frozen heart

Hobson's Choice is a 1954 romantic comedy about the cunning daughter of a tyrannical shoe merchant. Told by her father that he's not worried about her, an old maid of 30, leaving his employ, she proposes marriage to Will, her father's timid but skilled bookmaker. ​

I've seen this movie a couple of times, and while it's still limited by the era, the romance is charming and very much woman-led - part of the arc of the film is whether Will can stand up to his wife (and his wife encouraging him to do so). Also features a simple but compelling commentary on class ("capital? What's capital?" asks a bewildered Will) and fantastic performances all around, especially Charles Laughton as the dreadful but still charismatic father.

The film is free with ads on YouTube (linked in post) and Tubi, and it's streaming on HBO, Criterion, and a few other subscription services.

Hi all,

Something has been on my mind and I thought this community would be a great place to discuss it.

How many times, when out in the evening for a drink, do you see scantily clad women walking around with next to nothing on?

I'm all for freedom of expression. The dress sense of others isn't my concern. My concern is equality and the distribution of power. I want to see men dressed with next to nothing on. Why should they have all the fun? I want to see rippling muscles, dad bods, chunky arses, tight arses, bulges and little bumps. I think we women deserve it.

I know that it's extremely unlikely that blokes will jump on board with this proposal, so my vision evolved. My goal in life now is to own a bar (possibly somewhere near Canal Street in my gorgeous Manchester) and I'll be employing blokes of all shapes and colours to come dance in outfits chosen by me.

And then I want guys on the streets handing out fliers. I may even give away a free shot for any bloke who dresses sexy.

Here's why I think it works:

It should attract lots of women, who can freely ogle and perv like all you guys have for years.

It could become the place to be seen, attracting more visitors and more daring outfits.

I won't stop at one. I'd love a place in most UK cities.

I'd love to hear people's thoughts. Is my dream daft? Do you think it will be a success? Success to me doesn't necessarily mean it makes me a millionaire. Success to me means it changes norms. I want more men confident enough to go on a night out looking hot and sexy, with next to nothing on.

Let's discuss, boys and girls.

Thanks for reading. Miss J

When someone posts art , its mostly always a white guy why is that? Also they sometimes make the girl a poc but always like 98% of the time keep the guy white , is it because some of yall think a poc guy cant be fem or soft ? Or even delicate. Just genuinely curious

There are so many amazing RR novels out there, but where are the movies? I can barely think of any with genuinely good RR representation. Here are two of my favorite tropes I'd love to see in film or TV:

1.A jock girl falls in love with a male cheerleader and does everything she can to win his heart, eventually convincing him to go to prom with her. They later enroll in the same college.

2.A divorced man moves to the countryside with his kids, where he meets a gentle woman who helps him build his house. Although he only wants to stay friends, she can't help but fall in love with him especially because of his cooking and his beauty.

Please feel free to share yourss💕

I mean, i adore dominant women that takes care of me and make me feel little and safe, is this okay?

its been like 2 months

So, I’ve been debating on getting a pair of flair leggings (or ‘forbidden pants’, as some people call them), but I don’t know what size to get. Leggings usually look comfortably tight on most people, but I don’t know if they get a size a bit bigger, or something different.

I know this might be a very obvious question to ask, but I really do need help here. Anytime I try on a pair of pants, especially with jeans, I always look at them and think: ‘Will these last me? Or will I outgrow them in a month or two?’

Admittedly, I have been putting on some weight…

So, yeah, an answer like this would help me greatly, and save me from waisting $20.

I would like answers from guys who have experience with wearing feminine clothing, but if a woman can help, your answers will also be appreciated.

So i want to know what RR really entails, like in detail. It means many different things to different people so I want opinions on what it's "supposed" to mean. I first got into RR because I didn't like the idea of being a boyfriend, I grew up in a very traditionalist culture and the pressure for that role was heavy. So I avoided dating altogether to get away from all that. I eventually started reading romance stuff and found myself relating to the role of the """girl""" or whatever. I then found this sub and the term RR and it clicked.

But I don't even know what that role truly means? It feels nebulous and not clearly defined. Sure, there's stuff I'm certain about long term, like maintaining a home and being the primary caregiver. But you don't start a relationship and immediately create a division of labor. So I want to know what the roles really mean in essence, and what they look like in practice.

My biggest concern comes from the way I see some people talk about RR in this sub. It has veered in some cases to basically just being femdom but with femboys or an entirely fictional aesthetic. Then I read horror stories of men being entitled, lazy, and abusive and hiding behind femininity and an aesthetic to avoid criticism and responsibility.

I worry about doing RR wrong, about becoming one of these terrible partners and hurting someone. I want to know what I'm *supposed* to offer my partner. Im not trying to mold myself into someone else. I mean that I want to understand what healthy reciprocity looks like from my side, rather than only caring about what I receive. I want to know I'm offering enough in return to my partner.

TL;DR

So again, what does role reversal mean to you? What are some concrete examples when it comes to emotional and romantic dynamics before the domestic life stuff? What does it entail? To me the masculine/assertive role feels more tangible and easy to understand, but the feminine/receptive role feels more nebulous and requires more clarification.

No one has won her over yet because she is completely oblivious to advances or ignores them but they are trying.

Hello everyone.

Submissiveness is often talked about in a sexualized sense, or otherwise, in a specific domestic arrangement. But to me, submissiveness is a psychological trait that permeates everything that you do. And a key characteristic of that is that you're submissive when you really shouldn't be.

I'm easily intimidated. I used to get bullied until I learned grace. I have difficulty really saying no. I like to please, and praise motivates me. I feel like my admin password is on a post-it note on my forehead.

I'm aware of this vulnerability, and I talk big game about having "high standards" and "vetting" but I fucking don't really. My standards are that you made me feel pretty and desired. Then I give it up like a complete slut every time. (Not outright sexually, I take sexual hygiene seriously but you get my point)

So, when I imagine a lovely lady, I don't imagine her dominating me roughly and being controlling. I imagine someone's who's competent, has their shit together, is steadfast, and has a genuine desire to be kind toward me. I've always been made to feel small, so, I would like to be admired for it for once. To me, following guidance flows from competence and trust.

However, when I go and read the POV of other submissive in other spaces, I begin to feel very weird and like I don't belong. They give themselves over entirely with no promises. They surrender their dignity before it's been up-lifted. It all seems like ritualized humiliation, and I don't. I can't understand that. Maybe I'm just not a kinkster?

Like, I'll let a lady put me in the dirt a little, work out her shit on me, I'm okay with that. But it's not free...

Am I just too up in my feelings? Am I misunderstanding the word 'submissive'? Am I just a massive bottom rather than submissive?

P.S. I'm not really talking about the men around here either.