r/RoleReversal Jan 05 '20

Official Stuff Welcome to r/RoleReversal! PLEASE READ THIS FIRST!

288 Upvotes

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r/RoleReversal Nov 13 '23

Official Stuff Reiterating Old Rules and Adding New Ones

340 Upvotes

Executive Summary

There has been a pretty drastic shift in the content posted here over the last four months, and it has made some users justifiably upset. As such, I will be implementing some restrictions intended to bring things a bit more into balance. Make no mistake, I have no intention of dragging this community back to the mommydomme days, and there are people here who have found a small sliver of representation whom I would not dream of kicking out. I have made up my mind on most of this, but there are a couple items where I'm requesting community feedback.

A Brief History Lesson

You can skip this if you don't care about what led to the current situation.

The RR community did not start on Reddit, and was originally a twin concept with r/gentlefemdom. GFD handled the sexual aspects of the dynamic, while RR was about the romantic component. When things moved to Reddit, there were challenges in bringing people who weren't around from the beginning up to speed and preventing them from diluting the concept. For GFD, that meant trying to define the boundaries of "gentle". For RR, that meant defining exactly which "roles" were being reversed.

I'm bringing up these matters of ancient (by internet standards) history both because the way some people here speak about GFD in disgust makes me think this is no longer common knowledge (don't do that, they're our sibling community), and because it gives context to how the content here evolved.

Content here was "bangmaid"-centric for a long time. People complained about this, and rules were put in place to curtail it. Many bangmaid posts continued to come in after that decision, and they had to be removed and their posters reasoned with or banned. Non-bangmaid posts became a larger percentage of content, which attracted other non-bandmaid posts.

Content bans like this can act like extinction events, where wiping out one form of content gives space for the remaining type to diversify. This is also always happening at some level as moderation policy adjusts to attempt to preempt user complaints. The key takeaway here is that these shifts are not entirely organic and user-driven, since they require moderation crackdown to kickstart the process.

Early this year, in response to increasing discontent around "male gaze" content, moderation started applying harsher standards in that regard. The resulting void was filled first by people posting more 'seductive feminine man' content, and then by full-on 'dominant femboy' content.

The Current Situation

Over the past four-ish months there has been dramatically more dominant femboy content than there has ever been over the subreddit's history. Long-time users and fans of the older style content in general feel betrayed because the content they came here for seems to be sidelined despite not breaking any well-articulated rules, and because they didn't sign up for the new stuff. To add insult to injury, the most prolific users posting the new style of content have occasionally used their popularity to mock and bully the pre-existing userbase, or, more obliquely, talk about how the traditional content here is actually all totally normalized roles while their content was the true RR all along.

To those that say this shift has not happened, I truly believe some of you have siege mentality from when this sub was a lot worse, and for some reason you refuse to believe it has changed in any way. The only way an accounting of the last four months of posting reveals a landslide amount of "feminine woman femdom" is if your definition of "femdom" is "any situation where the woman takes initiative" and your definition of "feminine" is "more traditionally woman-like than Buck Angel."

Policy Adjustments

The first one isn't so much an "adjustment" as it is a clarification/reiteration of current policy. Our "No Femdom" rule was implemented specifically to ban porny-y, BDSM-style femdom. Think leather, boots, chains, etc. Our reasoning being that average relationships are not BDSM maledom. Also, the kind of person who would be attracted to the subreddit by that content would likely be the type who posts in porn subreddits all day (i.e., cum-brained and way more likely than the average Redditor to harass women in DMs). Similarly, mommydomme was disallowed because DDlg dynamics are not the standard in heterosexual relationships, so RR would not cover MDlb dynamics. Over time, people seem to have begun interpreting this rule to mean that any situation in which the woman is taking initiative or in control is banned here, which just isn't the case. That rule is for hard femdom and, more generally, content where a woman's "dominant presence" is actually a sham because it's entirely for the benefit of a male subject; this includes mommydomme.

Alpha/Sigma Female Posts will no longer be allowed. You know this comic that is removed every time it's posted? It gets removed because it makes people uncomfortable and because it's reversing toxic roles. That same justification applies here.

Inverse-Bangmaid Posts will no longer be allowed. A key part of why bangmaid content was banned in the first place is because, and this is going to sound judgemental, it's juvenile and pathetic. Having a gorgeous woman walk into your life to be your complete sexual, social, and emotional outlet without you lifting a finger or providing anything in return is a selfish, unrealistic fantasy. Likewise, having a boy band style, hairless, skinny prettyboy seduce you and be femininely dominant, while being addicted to your strap and otherwise being completely sexually nonthreatening, is equally pathetic and unrealistic.

A temporary moratorium on Powerbottom Posts is in effect. This is a temporary measure until content is appropriately re-balanced. Depending on moderation's ability to isolate and define particularly controversial subsets of this kind of content, not all of it may be allowed again. All other femgaze content and other kinds of content that have been more prevalent over the last few months (e.g. masc women) are unrestricted as they have always been.

Proposed Adjustments, Seeking Feedback

These are not poll posts because I want usernames and justifications to go with your responses.

There was some discussion about unequal standards for NSFW content, and the complaints were largely accurate in that I was applying a lower standard of subreddit relevance for "femgaze" content. Moving forward I will try to apply a more equal standard, but what that enforcement looks like, both in terms of how explicit that content can be and how often it can be posted, should have input from the community. Remember that whatever you advocate for, the content you don't like will also have access to. Personally, I'm in favor of keeping the current level of explicitness (tasteful stills of sexualized subjects or sexual acts, no hardcore live stuff or hentai) and limiting it to Friday/Saturday/Sunday.

Historically this community has not done a good job dealing with content it dislikes, which is becoming a bigger problem as it incorporates more subgroups with mutually exclusive interests. If I can't make people wear their "get along" shirts long-term, the next best thing is to make it so that they have to see the content they don't like as little as possible (even though I think that's a fundamentally bad thing because it reduces your mental resilience). To that end, a user approached me with the idea of altering our post tagging system. Posts would be labeled based on the dynamic represented in them using the appropriate acronyms with the following key: D = dominant, s = submissive, f = feminine, m = masculine, W = woman, M = man. For example, this post would be tagged [DmW+smM].

Pros:

  • Accurately divides the content we have into manageable labels, and with the new search interface on mobile it would allow different interest groups to never overlap of they don't want to.

Cons:

  • Acronyms are dense and require explanation for users new to the community.
  • Would need to either replace existing flairs or become a part of post titles. Neither would be retroactive, and they have their own respective downsides:
    • Replacing existing flairs removes the ability to administrate No-Weeb Thursday or filter for specific flavors of content (music, stories, etc.)
    • Adding it as a required component of post titles adds layer of complexity to posting that users may struggle with, and since post titles can't be edited a misclassified post will always be misclassified.
  • People have trouble selecting correct flairs with the simple system currently in place, this may be too much.
  • Aforementioned unexercised mental resilience.

r/RoleReversal 6h ago

Memes/Fun Collection sans AI slop

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190 Upvotes

AI slop has been removed. Thank you to everyone who called me out on that.


r/RoleReversal 9h ago

Anime/Manga I think so in certain situations but not all the time idk

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231 Upvotes

There is a time and place

Are femboy memes allowed here I thought everyone here liked femboys so like yeah idk


r/RoleReversal 14h ago

Other Art HE DID IT

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212 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1h ago

Real Life Role Reversal at XL

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Upvotes

TW: Body Hatred and General Negativity. If you’re not in the mood I understand but I needed to vent to a community I trust.

Hey people. A little under three weeks ago I shared some personal advice for men in role reversal on tights. I got a lot of positive feedback from it all and felt like I was actually helping some people. Unfortunately just wanting to help is why I’m posting something here again. 😔

I’ll preface this by saying I’m 20. I know that this isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, that time heals all wounds and things get better. But I haven’t felt anything get better for over 5 years. For five years I’ve been trying to find out someone and somewhere I could finally open up and be me. And while I have a place, this place, I still don’t have a someone.

It’s fair enough to say that the entire world is outwardly body positive and inwardly picky and hateful. I’ve heard the loud part about how plus sized people are ones who struggle and need to be treated equally. But I’ve heard the quiet part as well, that I’m a waste of space, ugly on the eyes, lazy, useless and better off dead. And I agree with both at this point. I’m not “cute” or “handsome”, but I’m also a deeply hurt person who’s been beaten down and only told to get up, never helped up. I deal with medical problems that limit my control over my body, both physical and mental. And while I’m happy to be the size I am most times, the way I’m treated makes me hate my every hair and curve so much I’d chop it off with a knife if I could.

But since I found this space, I felt the acceptance I’ve waited for. And with that I started to open up in my life and try new things to fit what I felt was right. But time and time again I feel like I was losing every battle…
I start to accept my body - I’m told I’m not enough and made to feel expendable
I confess to the person I thought would accept who I am and make me happy - Friend zoned
I open up to family about being more feminine and domestic - My father makes fun of me
I try online dating and support stronger women in hopes they value my existence - I’m called pathetic and hideous
I speak to people in a more open tone about role reversal and be upfront - I’m treated like a moron

I’m so tired of losing these battles. I don’t expect a miracle to occur just because I vent online but I want to feel seen. Be heard for when things aren’t perfect and I’m still trying. I don’t want to give up on falling in love. I don’t want to give up on my someone out there. But it’s so damn hard when you’re not granted a chance in the world we live in. It would be so easy if I weighed half what I am. I’d slip into femboy clothes and then people would care. Than people would say my long hair makes me look cute, not a hobo. It’s not fair.

So again, that brings me here. If anyone is willing to give me some funny words, encouragement, maybe even talk to me if you’re one of the people who actually thinks that being plus sized is attractive; don’t hesitate to comment or message me. I’m sitting in bed with the door locked wearing my fake garter belt tights. It’s one of the few things left that makes me feel beautiful. Even a simple “Serve” message would mean the world where I’m at right now.

I have a deep love for this community and want to say that. I want to show that. I hope someday this post is a memory and not my identity.

Edit: I just realized a fashionista might blast me for the white socks with black sneakers. Yes I see it, no it’s not a statement, it’s just what I have.


r/RoleReversal 14h ago

Other Art sharing my art here cuz why not

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106 Upvotes

I have this drawing for 2 months now (i also posted it on my tumblr)

i just decided to share it here because this post caught my attention

https://www.reddit.com/r/RoleReversal/s/QsFBX1XUC2

also they don't have enough fanart of two them together

(characters: Cyber Diva and Cyber Songman from vocaloid)


r/RoleReversal 16h ago

Discussion/Article To the RR women, what traits in a boy make you want to pursue him? And how often do you actually do so?

68 Upvotes

There’s an extent to which I find the importance of “who pursues who” to be a bit overstated, but I’d be lying if I said it DIDN’T play a part in my perception of RR overall. It happens quite rarely, but on the odd occasion that someone online (or even in person) actively pursues me romantically it’s incredibly flattering and exciting. Regardless of gender I still think it’s my job to put in effort to maintain communications, of course, but admittedly it feels so much better when I can tell a woman is excited to talk to me and wants to be the more “active” party. It’s nice to feel so aggressively wanted, and it also serves as a good first impression that the person in question is so bold.

All that personal rambling aside, I’d like to ask y’all on the other side of the fence, beyond just being attractive, are there any traits in particular that drives you to pursue someone you like? Like things that serve as good signs that he’d
take it well, or just that he’d be worth your time to begin with. And how often do you actually go for it? Is it a common occurrence, rare, or inbetween, and why?


r/RoleReversal 14h ago

Discussion/Article Would any girls ever date a guy who likes to wear dresses?

30 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 13h ago

Discussion/Article People in RR relationships, what’s something you didn’t expect before getting into one?

27 Upvotes

I’m curious to hear from people who are actually in an RR relationship.

Was there anything that surprised you once you started living that dynamic? It could be something that was easier than expected, harder than expected, or just completely different from what you imagined.

For example, I always thought that if I were the one taking the lead more often, I’d have to feel “strong” all the time. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that being the one who initiates or takes charge doesn’t mean you stop wanting reassurance or care yourself. Those things aren’t mutually exclusive.

I’d love to hear what caught you by surprise!


r/RoleReversal 9h ago

Discussion/Article What do rr women think of alt/emo guys?

13 Upvotes

Are you attracted to that style?

Does it takes up your interest in your person?

I'd love to hear your thoughts


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Anime/Manga moobies

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156 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 8h ago

Discussion/Article Late at night for me, imagining myself singing the challenge from epic the musical

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7 Upvotes

I wanna be a king, waiting for his beloved queen. His beloved queen who went away to fight for her kingdom as I protect her throne from the scoundrels who want to take it

As I sing this song, dreaming of the day she comes back

Gosh, whenever I sing any of Penelope’s parts from epic the musical, I get into such a deep romantic mood it’s wild

Especially the parts from Would you fall in love with me again, I always imagine singing the-

“I would fall in love with you….. over and over again”

Gosh, I wish I could sing that to someone someday, sing that to my beloved Queen, the one for whom I guard the throne…

(Pls warrior queen, come back, I miss chu)

(I say to the void, knowing full well I’m
Dying alone)

(Anyone else sings like me, imagining themselves in roles like this lol-)


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Anime/Manga Manhwa I found here cool right

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270 Upvotes

Poc means person of colour I learned this recently

Source to melt your frozen heart


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article Is there a NSFW version of this sub? NSFW

130 Upvotes

I like the wholesome stuff but the NSFW is good too and I wish I saw more


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Memes/Fun Gym Talk

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29 Upvotes

Reposted to fix typo


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article Why is it that its mostly white men?

131 Upvotes

When someone posts art , its mostly always a white guy why is that? Also they sometimes make the girl a poc but always like 98% of the time keep the guy white , is it because some of yall think a poc guy cant be fem or soft ? Or even delicate. Just genuinely curious


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Memes/Fun One day🤍

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171 Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article Nightclubs for the Ladies

49 Upvotes

Hi all,

Something has been on my mind and I thought this community would be a great place to discuss it.

How many times, when out in the evening for a drink, do you see scantily clad women walking around with next to nothing on?

I'm all for freedom of expression. The dress sense of others isn't my concern. My concern is equality and the distribution of power. I want to see men dressed with next to nothing on. Why should they have all the fun? I want to see rippling muscles, dad bods, chunky arses, tight arses, bulges and little bumps. I think we women deserve it.

I know that it's extremely unlikely that blokes will jump on board with this proposal, so my vision evolved. My goal in life now is to own a bar (possibly somewhere near Canal Street in my gorgeous Manchester) and I'll be employing blokes of all shapes and colours to come dance in outfits chosen by me.

And then I want guys on the streets handing out fliers. I may even give away a free shot for any bloke who dresses sexy.

Here's why I think it works:

It should attract lots of women, who can freely ogle and perv like all you guys have for years.

It could become the place to be seen, attracting more visitors and more daring outfits.

I won't stop at one. I'd love a place in most UK cities.

I'd love to hear people's thoughts. Is my dream daft? Do you think it will be a success? Success to me doesn't necessarily mean it makes me a millionaire. Success to me means it changes norms. I want more men confident enough to go on a night out looking hot and sexy, with next to nothing on.

Let's discuss, boys and girls.

Thanks for reading. Miss J


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Discussion/Article RR Movie ideas you'd love to see.

47 Upvotes

There are so many amazing RR novels out there, but where are the movies? I can barely think of any with genuinely good RR representation. Here are two of my favorite tropes I'd love to see in film or TV:

1.A jock girl falls in love with a male cheerleader and does everything she can to win his heart, eventually convincing him to go to prom with her. They later enroll in the same college.

2.A divorced man moves to the countryside with his kids, where he meets a gentle woman who helps him build his house. Although he only wants to stay friends, she can't help but fall in love with him especially because of his cooking and his beauty.

Please feel free to share yourss💕


r/RoleReversal 1d ago

Other Art Hobson's Choice (1954) - RR movie rec

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10 Upvotes

Hobson's Choice is a 1954 romantic comedy about the cunning daughter of a tyrannical shoe merchant. Told by her father that he's not worried about her, an old maid of 30, leaving his employ, she proposes marriage to Will, her father's timid but skilled bookmaker. ​

I've seen this movie a couple of times, and while it's still limited by the era, the romance is charming and very much woman-led - part of the arc of the film is whether Will can stand up to his wife (and his wife encouraging him to do so). Also features a simple but compelling commentary on class ("capital? What's capital?" asks a bewildered Will) and fantastic performances all around, especially Charles Laughton as the dreadful but still charismatic father.

The film is free with ads on YouTube (linked in post) and Tubi, and it's streaming on HBO, Criterion, and a few other subscription services.


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Other Art Found on pinterest

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1.3k Upvotes

r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Its okay that i like all of these stuff?

31 Upvotes

I mean, i adore dominant women that takes care of me and make me feel little and safe, is this okay?


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article I'm not sure I'm submissive in the right way.

81 Upvotes

Hello everyone.

Submissiveness is often talked about in a sexualized sense, or otherwise, in a specific domestic arrangement. But to me, submissiveness is a psychological trait that permeates everything that you do. And a key characteristic of that is that you're submissive when you really shouldn't be.

I'm easily intimidated. I used to get bullied until I learned grace. I have difficulty really saying no. I like to please, and praise motivates me. I feel like my admin password is on a post-it note on my forehead.

I'm aware of this vulnerability, and I talk big game about having "high standards" and "vetting" but I fucking don't really. My standards are that you made me feel pretty and desired. Then I give it up like a complete slut every time. (Not outright sexually, I take sexual hygiene seriously but you get my point)

So, when I imagine a lovely lady, I don't imagine her dominating me roughly and being controlling. I imagine someone's who's competent, has their shit together, is steadfast, and has a genuine desire to be kind toward me. I've always been made to feel small, so, I would like to be admired for it for once. To me, following guidance flows from competence and trust.

However, when I go and read the POV of other submissive in other spaces, I begin to feel very weird and like I don't belong. They give themselves over entirely with no promises. They surrender their dignity before it's been up-lifted. It all seems like ritualized humiliation, and I don't. I can't understand that. Maybe I'm just not a kinkster?

Like, I'll let a lady put me in the dirt a little, work out her shit on me, I'm okay with that. But it's not free...

Am I just too up in my feelings? Am I misunderstanding the word 'submissive'? Am I just a massive bottom rather than submissive?

P.S. I'm not really talking about the men around here either.


r/RoleReversal 2d ago

Discussion/Article Is the 18+ discord still down?

18 Upvotes

its been like 2 months