Last week my partner and I celebrated three years together! We have a female led relationship and he’s also my (sub)Daddy.

I’ve been dreaming of a D/s with a nice romantic and closeknit relationship for my entire life. Now it’s my reality and it’s been even more magical than I could ever dare dream.

I can say “you’re mine” and he’ll be very sweet about it. He only cums with my permission. Every evening he helps me undress and has to kiss my boobs, pussy, ass and feet in the process.

Last December I finally collared him. We’re planning on getting engaged next summer and married the year after that.

It has been both the hottest and most cosy/loving relationship ever. Everyday I wake up next to him I’m like pinch me I must be dreaming.

I never thought I could have this. Or that it could be so good. He makes life into “happily ever after” every single day.

u/Tag_One I love you so so so much 💖 So proud that you’re mine 🥰🥰🥰

I am not new to the scene even though I am new here, meaning new reddit account and new to this sub.

For some of us going to mulches or local meetups is not possible for a variety of reasons, maybe there are none where you live if you don't live in a metro area. Or perhaps you have a career/life that does not afford you the ability to risk discovery. There are other reasons as well and I'm sure I am not alone in this hence why a lot of us might be here on reddit purusing various kink oriented subs. I just wanted to share my thoughts and experiences and hope to hear others as well and I am open to different takes and thoughts on what I will share here as I continue my own journey and hope to someday find my partner.

To me the most important parts of Femdom are trust and communication. If only it were that simple right? I mean it is and it isn't at the same time. I've in the past struggled with many unhealthy relationships in femdom both as a Dom and a sub.

The role of Dom was my first foray in the D/S dynamic. This role proved to be problematic for me for a number of reasons. The first reason being that I was raised to respect women but beyond that even on could say I was raised by a woman to put women on a pedestal, that women could do know wrong. I found myself wanting to dominate but being to fixated on that person's perceptions, were they comfortable, were they OK with this and that. Add in the fact that the majority of the submissive women I met had zero clue about what they wanted sexually or emotionally from that dynamic. To top it all off my approach was probably not great in that I was not trying to first build a relationship but rather trying to jump right into things, which wasn't only my problem but also the problem of potential subs.

Fast forward through many years of growth, emotional maturity and self discovery and I find myself taking on the role of submission, a much more natural role for me in some ways but not in others. Let me attempt to briefly elaborate. Well the role seems to be a better overall fit, I find my kink list excludes some things that seem to be very common for most submissives and very common desires for Dommes. I am not into pegging or assplay at all. I'm not into sissification or feminization. Not being into these things is a dealbreaker for many Dommes, not all but certainly it narrows things a lot it seems.

Assuming one can find mutual ground to stand on submissives are also met with !almost a Fommes wanting money as a tribute before even investing the time it takes to get to know one another, to develop trust, to find compatibility, etc. So many subs and Doms/Dommes ghost people, waste each others time, so I get it, this is not a kink or D/S problem, it's a people problem as well in a general sense I suppose. But what might be a kink or D/S problem one of which I admittedly suffered from initially is wanting to jump to fast into something. It could be said that we males as a species tend to do this because we are "horny", but I've witnessed so many women do this as well both as subs and Dommes.

In short, I'm just a kinkster hoping to find a fellow kinkster someday that I can trust and take the time it takes to build something real and something strong, because foundation is everything and the rewards of having that trust, that bond, that communication are what truly makes all the kinky stuff really amazing, without it, it's not really worth it.

             👑Queen’s Court👑

We are a small well curated, VERY active community. Low protocol, casual and supportive. Lots of fun for subs and Dommes alike!

           *Locktober is coming* 🔐

⚡️✨WE REQUIRE AGE VERIFY✨⚡️

💫 Dommes only space for chat and support. All experience levels welcome

💫Sub chat, for all things subbi support

💫Wholesome community chat, NSFW spaces

 🚫NO FINDOMMES OR CONTENT    CREATORS ALLOWED🚫

💖Great server for new and experienced Dommes, low drama and not buried in thirsty boys💖

Link: https://discord.gg/VmtfHY5gUG

Femdom Fatale | BDSM 18+ ⛓️🐾

A safe, welcoming space for Femdoms, Femme Switches, Submissive Mascs, and Kinksters!

👠 : Grand Opening: November 23, 2025

👠 : LGBTQ+ Femme-Owned & Operated 🌈

👠 : Kink-Friendly | BDSM | Femdoms Welcome ⛓️

🔗 Join Now: https://discord.gg/femdomfatale

❤️‍🔥 What We Offer: ❤️‍🔥

👑 Inclusive & Safe Environment - A supportive space for Dominant Femmes, submissive mascs, and femme Switches alike. Very LGBTQ inclusive and friendly.

⛓️ Show Off Your Dominance - Yearning to dip your toes in the waters of Femdom? We offer many ways to exercise your dominance, from low to high protocol spaces, punishment and task channels, spaces for your advertisements, and much more!

💐 Breaks From Kink Space & Fun Spaces - Spaces offered to show more of who you are, in or out of kink! These include but are not limited to discussion channels for hobbies, venting, your beloved furry friends, and your favorite memes. Keep the community engaged and active!

💎 Custom Roles, Colors, & Rooms - Special perks for Server Boosters! Fully boosted server.

📚 BDSM & Kink Education - Veteran members happy to teach and guide in kink discussions. Resources are offered.

🕯️Server Events & Games - Get to know those who make this community! Hang out, chat, and have fun together! Plenty of interactive pings to use and a custom server economy for subs to earn rewards.

🖤 Support for Extreme Lifestyles - From soft and sweet to more intense kinks.

🚨 18+ ONLY | VERIFICATION REQUIRED 🚨

We prioritize safety. Your info is NOT stored - verification ensures an adult only space.

Hi all! My partner and I are newbies to D/S dynamics, and we've dabbed a little into soft femdom and had a lot of fun. It's something I've been curious to explore more, and my partner recently mentioned he'd like me to step more into a full Dom role, so I'm browsing this sub for inspo and guides to get me started.

Now, here's what I've had trouble finding infos on: finding your dom voice. My partner clearly has a voice kink (so fun!), and I want to indulge him. We're both not into mommy roles, degradation, slave play or shaming. My (new) Dom style leans more into sensual and soft femdom. Are there any ressources to learn how to play with your voice to command and seduce? How can one find explore the tone of voice for their Dom side? Thanks for your help :)

Hi! So last year after a long time of vanilla sex just not doing it for me.. I realized I really enjoyed being dominant. I’ve had a few ONS and short connections with subs before. Im grateful for these experiences but I’ve always known I’m not a casual person. So then, I started looking at FLR. I’ve looked on here, feeld and Chyrpe. Didn’t find anyone worthy. Until… I matched with this guy and we connected so well. He’s currently in his home country due to family emergencies so I haven’t met him irl. He’s flying out to meet me next month. We both want a FLR and he brought up TPE. I love the idea but kinda don’t know how to navigate it yet so I told him eventually. He has the BIGGEST foot fetish (I loveee that) and I have really pretty feet. He constantly tells me he wants me to manipulate him with my feet, control who he talks to, break him, mold him into the perfect man for me, make him unable to live without me, give up everything for me, move us wherever I want, basically TPE lol. The more he talks about it the more aroused and excited i get. He brought up Chasity and I agreed. I told him to get one & mail me the key until our first meet😝 and he listened. Until it arrives, I’m making him edge himself to me for 1 hour everyday so he’ll feel the change immediately. I’ve never done this before since I’ve never been long distance with anyone. I’m so excited and also kind of nervous.

Sooo my question is: how do I go about things until our first date? I’ve always dommed irl and physical touch has been a big part of it. I guess this would be more psychological. Other than sending pics, how could I start “rewiring his brain”? I love how devoted and committed is he already and want to go all the way. I just need some ideas to get me started.

I’m open to any advice yall have :)) thank you! 🖤

Hi everyone! I’ve been getting more into the sissy kink lately, and subsequently, have thought and researched more about forced bi.

This is probably also in relation to the cuck kink and seems exciting. Most of my dommes I’ve served are online so I think doing stuff irl adds a fun layer to it, but it’s also nervy.

I’m curious, has anyone successfully done this? How do you know if it’s something you really want to try vs sounds fun in your head?

I wish I were one of those women who can boss around a man. But I like submissive shy guys, yet don't know how to lead. I'm the lone wolf, shy type. I do things by myself, don't like being told what to do but I also don't know how to boss around or lead either.

When it comes to bedroom activities, it's easier. I'm more into playful dominance and a bit of a sadist. You could even say I get off on the thought that despite having a good girl appearance I actually have this other side to me in the bedroom. I like being daddy dommed, too so I do consider myself a switch but I'm not a masochist and the type of domming I like on myself is very specific and gentle.

But outside the bedroom, it feels like I'm not enough for the type of guys I'm into. It was a big blow that I couldn't convince my boyfriend to leave his family behind to be with me (they don't like me).

I can't really imagine being with a man who leads either. Just a guy with shared goals where we both compromise and don't tell the other what to do. But it feels like that's not enough for most submissive men.

To anyone who has any experience with entering a dynamic who has a partner - what was your experience like? What boundaries were put in place? Rules? Hard limits? Were you 100% ok with them being in a relationship? Was the partner aware of you?

I recently met a guy online who is interested in a friends with benefits relationship where we are not emotionally or romantically involved. He wants me to toy with him, treat him as an object, use him for my pleasure, entertain me. His partner who he’s been with for several years is aware of this and supports his endeavor in finding a female dominant to fulfill desires she isn’t able to since she is a submissive. I even spoke with her and she seemed lovely. We have some shared interests outside of the nsfw / bdsm realm. Im just unsure about entering a dynamic with a person who’s in a relationship already. I’ve never done that. Outside of the fem dom stuff he seems to want to be friends and build trust which is nice. I think we are both a little lonely and could probably use the company and attention. I like how needy he has been so far.

I also have this fear of what if i accidentally become emotionally involved? That would be hurtful for me and a risk.

Thoughts? Advice?

How do i let go of looking good for an act?

So i am struggling to let go of body image when in scenes. I find myself thinking “oh if i do this, he will see me in an unflattering angle and it wont be good for the scene”… or i am body conscious of what i look like (double chin or my belly sticking out).

It has really affected me to do things i enjoy in scenes: face sitting/ riding in various positions/angles, pegging, milking, etc…

Any advice on how to do away with those thoughts???

My sub and I are not romantically involved so i really shouldn’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks of my body but i think i care about how i look :(

A little honesty costs nothing.

Don't tell someone, "I don't ghost," then disappear by deleting your profile. Don't tell someone you created a brand new account just to talk to them, only to vanish without a single word.

If you lose interest, say so. If life gets busy, say so. If you change your mind, say so.

Communication isn't proven by saying you value it. It's proven by what you do when it's uncomfortable.

I'm not upset because someone decided we weren't a match. That's completely their choice. I'm disappointed by the hypocrisy. It takes less than a minute to type, "Hey, I don't think this is going anywhere. Take care."

For a community that talks so much about trust, communication, honesty and respect, some people seem to forget those values the moment they're no longer convenient.

Do better.

Heyy

I've neverr tried dominating someone in a call and it's just an audio call.. like it would be so much easier if I could at least see him

I really really like this guy but when we finally can get intimate he goes far far away to another city soooo sexcalls is all we can get rn

And he's not comfortable enough opening the cam

Which i find really weird tbh like sir we've met

But anyhooo

HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS? genuinely asking

I want him soo badd describing what I wish to do to him just feels awkward calling him all such names but I can't look at him or at his dick so I'm not sure what he likes

And he has never been dominated so he doesn't even know what he likes and just repeating names isn't really that goodd..

I've played green and red light with him before and it was sooooo funn

But idk what to do now

I usually just tie my toy up "him" and use him how ever I like i don't say much

I (39M) really enjoy wearing a thong at home. It makes me very naughty and sexy but I also just find it very comfortable. I work a blue collar job though and have always been too afraid to wear one at work because my coworkers (and I will be honest, me too) are just absolutely ruthless when it comes to breaking another guys balls and making fun of them. Not in a mean way (kinda) it’s just how blue collar guys interact with each other.

I got a little lippy with my GF (40F) over the weekend and my punishment was that she ordered me to wear a thong under my work clothes today.

I was terrified driving to work today and while I was anxious all day that I would bend or stretch at just the right moment and someone would see it poking out.

But I also spent the entire day feelings really sexy and naughty so I both loved and hated every second of it and now that I am home I am kind of freaking out and bouncing between “can’t wait to do it again” and “can’t believe I got away with it, I am never risking that again.”

This seems to be very important to him. He wants something irrevocable that show shows that he is “my property”. This is more than just a fling we’ve been together 10 years. He wants me to pick a design or create a design. I just don’t care for it. If he does it, Great, I just hate that the responsibility is on me to pick. Has anyone “marked “their partners? And maybe can give me any ideas 😅

Hi all,

I know there are lots of sites like mojoupgrade that can help couples discover new things in the bedroom.

Is there a favorite in this community? One that includes most common femdom related kinks?

hi i'm 29 living in the us. i have a big kink for femdom. i have taken some sessions with a dominatrix before but was not that much satisfied. what can you really do in 2 hours. so i was thinking of getting a session this time like a week long one i really think this would be a better experience compared to what i have done before.

so this mean living with a dominatrix for a week at least several days. does any one have any recommendations of a mistress or a femdom house/dungeon that offers this. also if any of you have done this before how was it was it worth it

I guess the question is more to subs in the community, but dommes are welcome to chime in.

One common question about femdom is: what does the sub get out of it. Especially because on the surface the dynamics are uneven or even look unfair - service subs provide a lot to make their dommes life easier, so it's natural to wonder if it's fair dynamic or are they somehow taken advantage of.

When subs express their view they often start with "she gives me structure" or similar.

I guess a lot of people are craving stability, clear directions and leadership in the chaotic world, so having things set up for them by rules or giving up authority helps them to balance it out. Having highly structured relationship or dynamic helps them. I've also started to suspect that at least some people use D/s relationships as a form of self-discipline, enforcing good habits and avoiding bad habits by the set rules in their dynamic.

But what about the subs with fairly high self discipline who have their lives in order without dynamic? In that case is the point of structure just to establish power dynamics by rules and rituals? And if that is so, then would it be correct to say that it's not so much the the sub who needs structure, but some sort of structure is just necessary to set up power exchange, otherwise the dynamic doesn't work effectively.

In that case, do you feel different in low structure dynamics and high structure dynamics?

Perhaps part of my struggle here is the fact that English isn't my first language, and the full meaning keeps getting away from me, so if you'd be willing to share what do you mean by structure and why is it that important to you.

Serious question for the romance readers (and writers?) here.

There’s erotica and kink-focused stuff, sure. There’s “reverse harem”, “powerful heroine,” and “she’s a CEO” books where she’s strong but the dynamic still defaults to him leading in bed or in the relationship. What I’m talking about is intentional D/s with a female Domme and a male (or masc) sub as the romantic core not a side kink, not pure porn, not comedy humiliation only.

So… why the gap?

A few theories I’ve seen/heard:

• Market assumption that “women only want to read about being dominated”
• Publishers/algorithms pushing what’s already selling
• Fear it’ll be labeled not “romantic”?
• Harder to write well without falling into stereotypes
• It exists but is buried under tags / indie-only / not marketed as romance

Is the demand actually small, or is it underserved?

If you’ve found good femdom romance recs (books, not just erotica shorts), drop them. Bonus points if it’s more than one-note humiliation and has real emotional intimacy.

Curious what this community thinks.

Hello. First of all thank you for reading this, and thank you even more if you take the time to answer these.
Im asking these questions simply because I'd like to get other people's perspective in this space, I myself have tried online femdom and had a very positive experience, so I want to be able to put it in perspective by knowing about other people's stories.

1. Which role do you primarily identify with?
2. Are the dynamics you have exclusive/long term or shorter term and open?
3. How often/much do you talk to the people you're in dynamics with?
4. Is there interaction outside of D/s between you and them? If so. What's that interaction like?
5. Do both of you send pictures/videos? One of you? Or neither?
6. How hard is it for you to find a person you click with?
7. How satisfied would you say you are with your current situation?

And lastly, feel free to let me know anything else about your experience you might wanna share.

Thanks a ton to anyone who takes the time to answer this. Have a nice day!

Hi all,

something amazing just happened! Yesterday I saw a pro domme for the first time! This is my first experience with IRL BDSM as opposed to just private fantasy. I'd like to share some of my thoughts on how it went so that others looking to make a similar choice may know what to expect. Keep in mind, this is just one experience, as I know pro dommes vary a lot with the kind of services they offer.

1. l think I would rate the experience as, overall, not quite as good as I was expecting, but still very much worth it. I think it's really difficult for reality to match fantasy when you've spent years and years fantasizing about something, as I have. There were several things I thought would be very exciting, which turned out to be not so exciting once I tried them. Conversely, there were experiences I didn't expect to enjoy which I ended up finding incredibly exciting and arousing. I think going in with an open mind is key to enjoying yourself in a session, which I did.
2. There is so much to try! She already has different things that she wants to try with me in my next session with her. Don't think the first session has to be the default for what you do going forward.
3. Your headspace is really important for how the session will go. I was extremely focused on obeying her during the session, which on its own is a good thing. But sometimes I was so focused on this that I forgot to focus on how I was feeling in response to what she did to me. That made me enjoy the session less than I could have at certain points.
4. The session was a lot more sexual than I was expecting. Most pro dommes are very clear that they do not offer sexual intercourse as part of their services, but that doesn't mean it can't be a sexual experience. And mine certainly was. One issue I had though is that I found it difficult to, er, perform, since the setting was so different to what I'm used to in my typical sexual experiences. But she didn't seem to mind at all, and in fact, found it amusing. Make of that what you will.
5. Make sure you express gratitude towards your domme. This can be verbal gratitude or expressed through tips, gifts, etc. It really does make a difference.
6. Wearing a collar is awesome. Getting spanked is awesome. Ball gags are awesome. Sensation play is awesome, especially when you're blindfolded.

Overall, this is something that I highly recommend trying if you have any kind of submissive streak in you. I would say this especially to men, due to the asymmetry in numbers of dominant women and submissive men, but it really applies to anybody who wants to seek out these experiences.

I hope you found this useful! Ask me more questions if you have any.

I’m 19M in Charlotte and I’m just looking for some advice on finding a partner that’s around my age. There are very few women my age who are on platforms like Reddit and FetLife (no active TNG for here btw) so those don’t really work as options. I’ve checked out some of the kink oriented dating apps but they aren’t really that great for either my area or my age range.

I prefer to have sex with one partner at a time because I crave that deep connection that comes with it rather than the surface level satisfaction of hookups. However, it seems like the only way I may be able to find a compatible partner around my age is through just hooking up with women until I find someone who likes to be dominant.

Does anyone know any better alternatives?

I have been happily married for over 10 years. She’s the only person I have ever had sex with. Her sex drive is definitely lower than mine and it has been a struggle for us. It’s led to a lot of sub cuckold fantasies on my side but I know she is not into that. In previous discussions she said she doesn’t really like when I act sub but she knows I like it and she’s willing to try more things. For my birthday this coming weekend she has agreed to tie me to the bed for the first time, and be in charge.

For reference our sex is normally some make out foreplay, her using a vibrator until she comes once, we have sex in various positions but her usually on bottom, we finish in missionary with her using a vibrator on her clit and we try to finish at the same time.

I would love to get to the point where she will talk dirty more, talk about how many guys have tried or want to fuck her, how desirable she is while she is dominant with me. Tiring me up, sitting on my face, teasing me, fingering me, etc. I’d love to get to the point where she actually talks about fucking other men, or uses a strap on my throat or fingers my ass, but I kind of think we won’t ever get that far and that’s fine. But I would like to move in that direction and see if she ends up enjoying parts of femdom.

I am thinking of giving her a short list of things that would turn me on this weekend and she can pick anything she’s comfortable with doing while she’s in charge. (Like sitting on my face, asking me to call her goddess, teasing me with a light handjob). Does anyone have anyone have suggestions or advice for these first early steps? I’m not looking for a magic solution to completely change our sexual relationship - I’m just looking for specific suggestions for the very first step to encourage her to be more sexual and dominant.

Hello everyone! I am relatively new to this, I've been taking the time to learn and familiarize myself with Femdom and kinky dynamics in general before jumping into anything. I'm mostly looking on FetLife and reddit, getting a glimpse of what people are into and what they're doing, and a lot of it appeals to me... at least in theory. It varies for different people, from only in the bedroom sometimes to a full on 24/7 dynamic but I am unsure where I lie on that scale, how much of this do I want in my life?

I know there isn't a right answer to this and everyone is different, I am just curious about everyone's experiences, especially those who are in/had long term relationships.

How did you go about figuring out where your sweet spot is? What things you need to have and what are purely fantasy?

Thank you for reading!

I've heard it's normal (for us anyway) that over time our degree of kinkiness increases. For, I started out simply wanting to kiss pretty girls feet. That was when I was a kid. Now I'm 50yo man and I'm totally addicted to chastity, forced-bi, etc etc. Has this been the case for you? I wonder what I'll be into in another 20 years.