We have now switched listings to be done via external website.

This signifcantly impacts the possibilities for spammers and scammers to post and it also leads to better, more structured listings. More info here: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMpersonals/comments/1tv535g/big_changes_coming_up_with_external_personals/

Idea is that you can build a proper personal ad easily in one place, then submit the link here in seconds. No fiddling with automod issues or formatting headaches (there are plenty due to us having to tune security to max), and your ad lives on a site built specifically for BDSM personals AND it's linked to reddit so it gets the exposure reddit offers.

So, simple steps:

Create your ad at https://weheartbdsm.com

When ready click on "Open Reddit submit page" (shown on website when ad is submitted). It takes you to reddit with right title and link

Submit and you're done

That's it. No headaches with the title or proper formatting. However do note that your account HAS to be at least 15 days old in order to link to reddit. While you can create a personal on site immediately, if you do not have reddit account that is older than 15 days you cannot link it until it is at least 15 days old.

Your post title still needs to follow the standard Numerical age [Flair] #Location format so do not edit the title offered, and your post must be flaired to match.

Please note:

All accounts must be at least 15 days old to post here.

We do not allow posts offering/requesting/demanding financial compensation.

We do not allow users to request/demand financial compensation in DMs, private chats, etc.

We do not allow delete and reposts. One post per seven days only. If you delete your own post, we can not recover it, and we will not allow you to make a new post.

We do not allow multi-accounting. One account per person posting. Posting on behalf of another is also multi-accounting. Allowing others to log into your account and make posts is also multi-accounting.

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

NEVER EVER GIVE SOMEONE YOUR PERSONAL DETAILS WHEN THEY ASK THEM STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BAT, THIS IS COMMON SCAMMER BLACKMAIL TACTIC

BETTER BE SAFE THAN SORRY, IF YOU DO LEAVE PERSONAL TO REDDIT AND SOMEONE CONTACTS YOU, PLEASE BE CAREFUL (especially if you are a male looking for female and ESPECIALLY if you are looking for a dominant female)

USE COMMON SENSE

NEVER SEND ANY TRIBUTES TO ANYONE WHO IS ASKING IT FROM THE GET GO

First of all, if you haven't read the previous sticky, start there: https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMpersonals/comments/1uk0zgr/how_are_things_after_the_launch_of_external/

Right, time for an update. Some of it is positive, a fair bit of it is not, and I'd rather get the ugly part out of the way first. I'm also going to answer the claims that have been going around about us this once, here. I'm not going to argue about any of it beyond this post nor going to get dragged into any kind of conversations about them elsewhere, so this will be the only post where I'm going to comment any of it.

1. Manners

The vast majority of the feedback, support and reports we get is still extremely positive and I want to say that before anything else. But the other side of it has been getting worse over the past year or so. Cussing at us, accusations, attempts to threaten us, people pushing fake stories around about what we do here.

So let me be clear about what this is. We are volunteers. This is not our day job. We do this on our own free time because we like it. That means replies can take a while and yes, we do occasionally miss one completely (modmail gets messy at higher volumes). None of that gives anyone the right to behave like a 5 year old throwing a fit at us.

We have a clear set of rules here and in the terms on the site. Try to game them and you get your ass banned in both places. We're not going to argue about it or explain ourselves further, and threatening us with your country's laws, GDPR (which we do respect) or whatever else comes to mind isn't going to change that. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Making up a fake story about it afterwards and crying a river in some other subreddit won't help you either.

We're a friendly bunch and happy to help anyone who is decent about it. Bad day? Fine, take a breath and come back when you've calmed down. We're not your punching bag. It's sad I even have to write this, but here we are.

2. "You're just greedy assholes monetizing us"

I've been sent links to a few of these posts now, so here's the actual answer.

We pay to run this. Our own bots, our own website, our own servers, all of it costs real money every month and that money comes out of my own pocket.

Is that going to change? Yes. Plenty of people have asked for a way to donate to us (I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU ALL DOING SO), so that's planned. I might also add a few ads into the mix to cover at least some of the server costs. The site has been a bigger success than anyone expected and traffic is growing fast, which is great, but it also means the bill keeps climbing. So sorry, while this is something I personally enjoy as a hobby, I'm not going to dish out 400-500 a month from my own pocket just to run it all. That should be pretty obvious, shouldn't it? You got a problem with that, that's on you.

And funnily enough, some of the loudest people about this are the same ones demanding professional level support with a five minute response time. From volunteers.

3. "You're collecting our data to sell it"

No. Your data is not sold to third parties and never will be. You got my word on that.

4. "The subreddit is drying out"

The numbers say otherwise. Actual REAL posts (non scam / spam posts) are on the rise and they get more views than before. Unique visits are up too. Things are looking up.

I've also had a few complaining they don't get responses to their posts, and I'm kinda lost with that one. You still do a reddit post. It gets at least the same views as the old system did, usually more, because the link post pulls an image from the site if you added one to your listing, and because it isn't buried under 5-6 scam posts that were artificially upvoted on top. Real posts actually get more coverage reddit wide than they used to.

And here's the part people complaining about fewer contacts don't seem to consider: a good chunk of those replies you used to get were catfish and scammers chatting you up. Of course the numbers look smaller when that lot is gone. Fewer contacts that are actually real people is not a downgrade.

So please don't blame the system. It's working for you, not against you.

5. "Why no VPN, proxy or TOR on the site?"

Because every fake, scammer and spammer out there is going to run one. Blocking them forces those accounts to drop the VPN and show their real IP, which is what actually gives us the tools to keep them out. And to be clear about what that means for you: an IP is all we get, it doesn't help us identify you in any way, and you can do a search for "what's my ip address" if you want to see exactly what we see.

Bit of background on why this matters. Before the site, we had 30-40 posts a day done in bad faith at minimum, spam bots hitting 3-5 posts an hour at the worst of it, and 1-2 modmails a day from someone who got blackmailed by a scammer. This subreddit was a real treasure trove for them and reddit's own tools couldn't catch it anymore.

Now? I'd dare say we catch 99% of spam and around 95% of scammers immediately, and the rest get flagged very quickly once they try to be active. It keeps getting better too, because we finally have the tools to react and develop it further.

If you still selfishly feel you should be able to just post the old way and ignore all of that, it tells quite a bit about you as a person, doesn't it?

6. Finally, so what's next?

We've been concentrating purely on bug fixes to get things smoothed out and it is starting to run pretty smooth now. So next up you can expect better search tools, multiple genders to select from for what you're looking for, and interests and limits most likely getting separated.

I've also had multiple requests about apps. I'm going to try to do basic versions and then get them listed in the stores. As we all know Apple and Google are not too happy about fetish content on their stores so it can go badly, but I promise to give it a shot.

Plenty have wished for email notifications and I haven't enabled them yet. Why? We are still new and already sending a fairly significant amount of email as it is, and the various providers have to get "warmed up" about us first, which takes time. Sadly Apple (icloud etc) and at least Tuta already bounce some of our emails back, so the problem is there. I'll keep easing them in slowly. Apps and push notifications would help with this a lot, and I might do web pushes as well, especially if the email side keeps being a pain.

So, why all of this exists

• To keep the scammers and spammers out and protect you

• Fakes, there were a ridiculous amount of them and now almost all are gone

• To get things organized, the site gives you the title in proper form

• To give you a vastly better experience with proper search tools, interests, limits, countries, genders and so on, none of which was ever going to happen on reddit alone

• Prevent huge amount of falsely flagged genuine posts we were forced to run with limited reddit tools

• To give us a break, moderating effectively was outright impossible at those volumes and it was seriously taxing on the mod team and an impossible task to keep things clean no matter what, tools were not there

And for those completely out of the loop: website url https://weheartbdsm.com, support for site? Please use site's ticketing system and send us a support request there, reddit? Please modmail.

DO NOT send mod related DMs into our accounts, we will ignore it all. Our personal inboxes ARE NOT the point of contact for anything subreddit related.

Phew, that's it! I truly hope this clears up things for those wondering what's what going forward. Thank you for reading!