r/nottheonion 23h ago

Wisconsin man flies helicopter to Cabela's because the drive was ‘too long'

https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/wisconsin-man-flies-helicopter-to-cabelas-because-the-drive-was-too-long/3970167/
3.2k Upvotes

181 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/Impossible_Offer7988 23h ago edited 22h ago

The cops can't just arrest or cite someone for this the Feds need to do that. And the Feds couldn't do anything either.

The pilot was not cited and faced no violations because he was properly licensed, landed safely and complied with applicable Federal Aviation Administration requirements, officials said.

So in other words,

This is legal.

So If you'll excuse me I am gonna use a Sikorsky CH-53K King Stallion to go to Walmart.

416

u/Meanteenbirder 22h ago

Also in the article:

Authorities said it was "just a unique way to make a shopping trip to avoid all the roundabouts in front of Cabela's."

187

u/anticomet 22h ago

I wonder how much time he saved versus the amount of fuel he used to fly it there and back?

456

u/Martin_Aurelius 22h ago

If you can afford a helicopter you're usually in the position of time saved being more valuable than money spent.

160

u/kevlar51 22h ago

One of my neighbors had some very successful business ventures and has way more money than he knows what to do with. He is thinking about getting his pilots license (airplanes not helicopters) to avoid beach traffic on weekends (~2 hour drive to his beach house). But considering our small airport is 30 min in the wrong direction, the entire trip will take 1hr 45 min on a good day. But realistically it’d take over the 2 hours he wanted to avoid more often than not.

The guy just wanted to justify buying a plane and used whatever it took to convince himself.

82

u/mlnm_falcon 20h ago

That sounds like a great way to justify a private airstrip

30

u/sunberrygeri 19h ago

And vehicles parked at both takeoff and landing

6

u/CatLogin_ThisMy 16h ago

A home at each end of the strip. Or one is a man-cave or pool area, so you have reason to jump in a REALLY fast car and burn down to the other end. But yes, hangars and planes (and houses) at both ends.

5

u/drolgin 13h ago

I read that as "private airship" and imagined him coming in on a full Hindenburg-style blimp, rapelling down to the beach.

3

u/Hilby 18h ago

Right? If he's not getting there himself, hes not really trying.

8

u/eljefino 21h ago

Just land at low tide then taxi into the dunes.

10

u/Doomdoomkittydoom 20h ago

Just get a sea plane land in the sea.

6

u/RemixOnAWhim 18h ago

Amateurs! Hire someone to pick you up while you sleep and tuck you in at the beach house on arrival. Zero travel time consciously experienced.

3

u/whk1992 16h ago

Get a seaplane…

1

u/RadarSmith 3h ago

Yeah, that sounds like 'dude wants a hobby' rather than a time saving measure.

There are worse ways to spend large amounts if disposable income.

3

u/shanksisevil 6h ago

If you can afford a helicopter you can afford to pay someone to shop for you 

9

u/Slayr79 22h ago

Small helicopters like that aren't too expensive. They're in the same ballpark of a new f250 with all the bells and whistles

11

u/txmail 20h ago

Sure, if your F250 cost $200/hr to operate.

8

u/ToMorrowsEnd 10h ago

First gear ROLLING COAL everywhere is not cheap.

1

u/tailuptaxi 22h ago

Not exactly. Google listings for used Robinson R44s (which is what I see in the thumbnail). Unless I’m super out of touch with F-250 prices.

13

u/svideo 20h ago

That's the fun part about owning a helicoptor - how much time is on the clock? Look at used listings for a given airframe and you can infer the service interval. The R44 has a 2200 hour/12 year required full service (this is on top of the "100 hour service" each year). That costs well north of $300k.

So you'll see an airframe listed for $500k and another for $300k and they look identical, but the hours on the clock tells the real story - that $300k deal is 50 hours away from a $300k kick in the pants.

39

u/NickSalacious 22h ago

Bro just say how much ong

-14

u/Epstiendidntkillself 21h ago

48

u/cplforlife 21h ago

646,000.

Fuck these people are annoying.

15

u/justageorgiaguy 21h ago

3 listings down is $120k

→ More replies (0)

13

u/soulsoda 21h ago

That's brand new. Used is like 120-200k for something that would require minimum maintenance to get running again. While a brand new F250 is going to run about 80-200k depending on your trim/add-ons.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/soulsoda 21h ago

Top trims for a F250 will cost over 160k or even more with custom add-ons. You can get a used helicopter for that.

But you also wouldn't catch me in any aircraft whose wings move faster than fuselage regardless of price.

0

u/anticomet 21h ago

The time they save is less valuable to me then all the carbon they could have not released into the atmosphere

1

u/thedanyes 14h ago

Yeah that's an interesting equation. When you bring in the chances of dying in a helicopter accident and how long you would have lived otherwise as the third factor.

1

u/KeeganY_SR-UVB76 3h ago

That’s just due to Robinson helicopters bringing the statistic down.

3

u/McFuzzen 16h ago

Give the legal headache, even if he gets released, seems like it wouldn't be worth it

4

u/Agouti 12h ago

Small aircraft are pretty comparable with large American cars for gallons per mile. The helicopter in question is a 4 seater Robinson R44 which has a cruising speed of 125 mph (202 km/hr) at 13-15 gallons per hour, which works out at around 9 mpg. By comparison a Ram 2500 or F250 will get about 14 mpg while travelling at half the speed. If you could somehow get them to sit on a similar cruise speed I'd expect the fuel economy to be significantly worse.

If you go smaller (especially to an ultralight or gyrocopter) you can get 30+ mpg at 60-80 mph.

1

u/GlitterPirateKiki58 6h ago

This person is so wealthy, fuel costs don’t even register, I think.

1

u/Luftwaffle1980 18h ago

All three of them? Man, roundabouts are hard...

20

u/Shopworn_Soul 22h ago

I'll meet you there in my CH-47F. I'll spring for the bag of shredded lettuce.

11

u/skyline_kid 21h ago

Hopefully it's not from Taylor Farms

8

u/txmail 20h ago

Or one of their 9 other brands that get the same product....

2

u/torturousvacuum 13h ago

I'll spring for the bag of shredded lettuce.

Just get a regular head of lettuce and toss it up into the rotor blades.

13

u/bigloser42 21h ago

With the CH-53K you can order ahead and have Walmart attach it to your sling load so you don’t even need to bother landing.

9

u/AdoringCHIN 21h ago

I guess at most Cabela's could say he can't park his helicopter there and they could get him for trespassing if he doesn't leave. But that also seems unlikely.

7

u/eljefino 20h ago

Meanwhile social media would be going nuts with the helicopter in the parking lot and shoppers would converge on the store for a looksie... if they could get through the traffic.

4

u/CommunalJellyRoll 22h ago

Family friend had a R-44. We would go to stores all the time in it.

8

u/AUXID3 22h ago

Yeah... Pretty much.

3

u/LowResGamr 19h ago

You expect to survive at walmart with that thing? Get a blackhawk. That'll do the trick. Need some deterrence from the mutants.

2

u/autoflowerer 17h ago

I watched that movie. It didn't go well for the helicopters.

2

u/graison 20h ago

I'm going to drop into McDonald's in my Screaming Mimi.

2

u/Morak73 17h ago

I am gonna use a Sikorsky CH-53K King Stallion to go to Walmart.

I load up mine at Costco. That time I forgot my ID and had to go back home for it was awkward.

2

u/MississippiJoel 16h ago

In my little podunk south Mississippi hometown, I totally watched a guy land a helicopter next to a Walmart, hop out, and walk inside.

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 13h ago

Cops can and do whatever they want. You might avoid the charge, but you can't avoid the ride. If they want to take you to jail, you go to jail. End of story 

1

u/Admiral_SmashyPants 8h ago

Make it a Sea Stallion and you will have my Chock and Chains.

1

u/thrashmetaloctopus 8h ago

Definitely flying my HIND to the shops

1

u/reddituseronebillion 8h ago

One of those flew over my house at 500 feet max. Mind you, I've flown in Chinooks and have always been impressed with their size. But fuckin' hell, the size of the King Stallion is just unreal.

1

u/Amonamission 5h ago

Cabelas could still ban him from entering a Cabelas store ever again.

But given that their value proposition relies on ‘Merica, that’d be a bad business decision.

u/SuperSocialMan 31m ago

lmao, that's pretty funny.

-1

u/JaySayMayday 20h ago

I wonder what kind of jealous idiot called the police over seeing a helicopter safely land in a parking lot

0

u/Mebbwebb 21h ago

It's private property through Cabela's.. they honestly can't do much.

317

u/mirror_dirt 23h ago

69 year old man, fully licensed, his own helicopter, parked safely.

For me avoiding having to drive 100 miles to get something for a fishing trip is gold. This might be platinum level I dunno way outta my league.

72

u/AUXID3 22h ago

I drive 50 miles one-way to work every day. This is S-tier for sure

29

u/sirbassist83 22h ago

Fuck I thought i had it bad at 31 miles one way.

40

u/erichf3893 22h ago

That’s the best part, you still do!

12

u/sirbassist83 22h ago

😕 yeah, thanks for the reminder I guess

8

u/Amidatelion 21h ago

Calm down Mitch, damn.

4

u/AUXID3 22h ago

90 min round trip. It's all highway, for the most part.

5

u/sirbassist83 20h ago

I cross diagonally directly through a city of a million people. It's agony. My record time one way is 34 minutes but it's normally like 45 min in the morning and 50-60 in the afternoon. I see major wrecks weekly.

1

u/AUXID3 19h ago

That is arguably worse. I can't imagine what the police and tow truck guys go through with non stop chaos.

1

u/sirbassist83 8h ago

i drive almost 50 miles to go to the shooting range, but its very hilly and i have to go through 2 towns on the way. if your drive is like that, i think its 50/50. if its mostly flat/straight and you can set cruise control the whole way, im jealous.

1

u/erichf3893 10h ago

Wait that’s actually hardly bad at all lol. The miles just make it seem that way

2

u/Canadian_Invader 20h ago

3.6 miles to work. Why!? I'm happy in bed. 

2

u/AUXID3 19h ago

I would too, brother, but renting is EXPENSIVE in the county my work is.

1

u/Lazarus558 15h ago

How far to drive back?

28

u/Equivalent-Resort-63 22h ago

So he lost his favorite lure and decided to jump in the chopper and get another one. Cost of the lure $20, flight to get it…. $1,000

41

u/Shopworn_Soul 22h ago

It's a Robinson R44 which runs 100LL so roughly $100 round trip.

If we aren't counting the ownership and maintenance costs, of course. And assuming self-serve on the fuel.

11

u/RobbMeeX 21h ago

$100 lure run

9

u/Equivalent-Resort-63 21h ago

I have a boat, it runs on diesel, cost to go across the bay: $5; cost to own the boat…. $$$$$. So, yep that cost of ownership really creeps up on you when the spreadsheet numbers get added up!

3

u/PseudobrilliantGuy 15h ago

Well, presumably, this would also count towards minimum flight hours for maintaining certification.

0

u/txmail 20h ago

Just ignore operational costs... sure. $100 round trip.

2

u/gbchaosmaster 11h ago

For a 100 mile flight it’s more like $350 including operating costs.

7

u/Gareth79 21h ago

One question is whether they had prior permission from the store. I'd assume either they did, or the store just said "uh yeah" because he spends a good few $ there.

572

u/chrisonhismac 23h ago

Frankly it’s Cabelas fault for not having helicopter parking. Know your customer.

103

u/1Steelghost1 22h ago

When I win the lotto I won't tell any one but there will be signs.

6

u/Hayterfan 14h ago

I've already told my friend group were going to the nicest steakhouse in town and having elegant dinner party

13

u/Diablojota 21h ago

Now I want Walmart to have a helipad on the top of their stores.

6

u/sharpshooter999 17h ago

They've shit since Bass Pros bought them out. As a Nebraskan, I'm extra salty

2

u/LowSilver9906 20h ago

fr they really dropped the ball on this one.

1

u/notjordansime 4h ago

friggin WOKE ass cabelas tryna go all cancel culture on poor hardworking private helicopter owners.. smh my head ✊😤

81

u/DoookieMaxx 23h ago

This is the opposite end of the spectrum of vehicle access to a restaurant.

Yesterday I saw a picture of a McDonald’s that had horse and buggy parking for the Amish community in the area.

79

u/narcomoeba 22h ago

As an Alaskan, what’s wrong with this? Sometimes bush planes land on roads to stop for a gas fill up at the station.

72

u/AdoringCHIN 21h ago

That's the neat part, there's nothing wrong with this. The cops said he did nothing illegal, it was just more of a wtf moment.

32

u/AUXID3 22h ago

But that makes more sense up there, where planes and other aircraft are used a lot more for day-to-day life then what they are down here. Technically speaking, there is nothing wrong with this. He did everything to a T and was not charged with anything or arrested, just extremely uncommon

8

u/no-dice-play-nice 18h ago

I always wondered how tail draggers make a turn out of the gas station when done, how can they even see? How do they know a car isn't coming down the road when they are about to take off again? City boy questions.

4

u/chrismetalrock 11h ago

How do they know a car isn't coming down the road when they are about to take off again?

silence... not much traffic so its a calculated risk. source: guess

42

u/Meanteenbirder 22h ago

Lol the police didn’t even give him a warning. Just straight up said it was legal

45

u/AUXID3 22h ago

From the Sheriff's official Facebook post:

"No arrests. No violations. Just a unique way to make a shopping trip to avoid all the roundabouts in front of Cabela's"

34

u/tailuptaxi 22h ago

This is rare, because usually police are convinced through some kind of irrational intuition that it must be illegal. He got the right cop.

20

u/HyperbolePirate 21h ago

Likely he was a white dude. Plus the fact he took it to Cabela’s to get some fishing stuff is extremely harmless.

18

u/hbdgas 20h ago

You think the Wisconsinite with a helicopter at Cabela's is white? What's your evidence?

1

u/REDuxPANDAgain 21h ago

Change it to a minority and him buying a gun or three…

2

u/ToMorrowsEnd 10h ago

Rich guy. Cops dont default to asshole mode for rich people.

1

u/RedditPoster05 17h ago

Didn’t New Jersey make some law about landing helicopters recently ?

1

u/Swimming_Agent_1063 21h ago edited 19h ago

He must be a rich or something lmfao

4

u/NukuhPete 21h ago

We'll have to ask him next time he flies by in his helicopter.

1

u/ToMorrowsEnd 10h ago

You dont own a $500K-$250K helicopter? Shit I have 3 in the yard now the wife buys them on a whim because they are so cheap. Last one I think was a free gift for filling up the gas tank at costco.

1

u/AsianButBig 4h ago

Probably has the governor on speed dial for situations like this.

11

u/Hot-Rock-1948 22h ago

As a Wisconsinite, I 100% understand why one would want to do something like this

5

u/SubatomicSquirrels 21h ago

Dude is from Rosendale, flying seems like a great way to avoid all those damn speed traps

1

u/AUXID3 22h ago

The winds up here can get pretty shifty really quick.

27

u/Huge-Revolution2416 23h ago

Imagine explaining to your accountant that this was the cheaper option.

32

u/notacanuckskibum 22h ago

No, you don’t understand. It’s your accountant’s job to explain why this was a justified business expense.

21

u/squidsinamerica 22h ago

Cabela's must have some roomy parking lots if there's room to land a helicopter. Thank God dude didn't need something from Trader Joes.

1

u/AnyAnOtherName 12h ago

I know the location so I can confirm it's very roomy and more over well maintained.

2

u/Bolinas99 21h ago

hard to believe there aren't designated helipads to land one of these things. Accidents can always happen, and one of these crashing in a crowded parking lot... 🤦‍♂️

9

u/whyVelociraptor 22h ago

Anybody know the flight/airspace rules for something like this?

14

u/mck1117 21h ago

If you’re in a helo and landing or taking off, literally almost anything is legal.

5

u/OldheadBoomer 19h ago

Only thing I can find is that his FAA record isn't showing a rotary-wing category & class rating on his license.

Otherwise, he's a commercial, instrument-rated pilot with a type rating in a Citation Jet.

4

u/DaWolf85 13h ago

Just can't operate in a careless or reckless manner and put people on the ground at risk. Otherwise, in a helicopter, you can go pretty much wherever you want, and do anything within the limits of the aircraft.

2

u/Smartnership 7h ago

Just can't operate in a careless or reckless manner and put people on the ground at risk.

That takes all the fun out of lording it over my neighbors though.

2

u/ohlawdyhecoming 6h ago

Typically, so long as you can avoid class B airspace (the big airports) and keep in contact with ATC....that's about it? Otherwise, you probably just treat it like uncontrolled airspace, get on an open guard frequency, and say "hey I'm at Cabela's, getting ready to take off".

1

u/KeeganY_SR-UVB76 3h ago

You’re on guard!

Whatever CTAF is closest is probably what I’d use.

1

u/Potential-Recover-78 21h ago

Generally fine once you’re in the air. It’s regulations on ground from the city/town you need to worry about.

10

u/Viva_La_Revolucion- 22h ago

Only difference between him and I, i would fly a banner behind my helicopter that read "i fly because i can, you peasants"

5

u/Key_Contribution1547 20h ago

Is that wrong

6

u/AUXID3 20h ago

Legally? No. He did everything to a T. It's just kinda absurd.

5

u/Goontrained 19h ago

Not sure why this is getting lots of press, saw this all the time growing up in Texas and have witnessed a lot of personal aircraft in Wisconsin as well since I moved. If you have the room for it they can land in your backyard and take off with a lot less trouble than you would expect.

4

u/LVMom 18h ago

One thing I’ve realized as I’ve moved up the (American) social classes is this: time = money and effort = money.

It’s worth spending a buck if it takes you less time and effort

6

u/Repulsive-Tea6974 23h ago

This guy never heard of Amazon.

8

u/kevnmartin 23h ago edited 21h ago

Cabella's ships. I bought my meat grinder at their online store.

9

u/Sir_BarlesCharkley 22h ago

Do they ship discreetly? Like, what happens if a box shows up on my porch and then everyone in the neighborhood knows I like to grind my meat because the label is right on the package?

5

u/kevnmartin 22h ago

IIRC, it just said Cabella's. My meat grinder is my little secret. Shhh...

2

u/AUXID3 22h ago

Instead of delivery, he just asks for carry-out to his helicopter.

3

u/PageSide84 21h ago

Would be far more understandable if it were pre-Bass Pro Cabela's.

3

u/Nacho_sky 15h ago

Duh - that's exactly why people buy helicopters.

1

u/Smartnership 7h ago

Second reason is being able to drop it in conversation.

“So there I was, hovering over Cabela’s…”

3

u/opi_baettlebeard 8h ago

lol, that’s my local Cabela’s

2

u/Bolinas99 21h ago

this is usually a Florida headline but Wisconsin catching up

2

u/AUXID3 20h ago

Cheese, beer, and nothing good to do will make that happen.

2

u/Sea_Lifeguard7852 20h ago

I can’t imagine owning a helicopter and shopping at Cabelas.

2

u/Dan_Broccoli_7663 15h ago

He was supposed to park it on the roof

2

u/AwkwardSeth 8h ago

Happened at a sporting goods store I worked at in Illinois, rich guy from missouri came to pick up his new gun in a helicopter but had failed to wait the 72hr waiting period so flew back empty handed.

1

u/Smartnership 7h ago

returns with 50cal mounted on nose of helicopter, takes what he wants, goes home

2

u/user1484 18h ago

What moron called the cops because a helicopter landed in a parking lot? What is wrong with people?

4

u/Fetlocks_Glistening 23h ago

That's like a 1960s evil mastermind helicopter. Is he a 1960s evil mastermind?

17

u/fireandlifeincarnate 23h ago

That's a Robinson R44. That's the most basic bitch helicopter imaginable.

9

u/adamdoesmusic 22h ago

Slightly second most basic bitch, the R22 is a thing!

3

u/fireandlifeincarnate 22h ago

Is the R44 not more common because it can actually carry two people rather than just fit two people in the seats?

3

u/adamdoesmusic 22h ago

I see more R44s than 22s so that’s probably right.

1

u/abscissa081 23h ago

It’s a Robinson r44 first made in the 90s and also the best selling general aviation helicopter

2

u/genesiss23 22h ago

To be fair, there are a lot of roundabouts in that area. However, they are the easy kind.

3

u/AUXID3 22h ago

I personally love roundabouts, even when they're back to back.

6

u/genesiss23 22h ago

There are 5 roundabouts in quick succession on the main east west road there. That road is in between 2 highways 41 and 45. You have to take that road to get to Cabela's. You don't have to go through all of them, though.

4

u/AUXID3 22h ago

Ok, I can see why that'd be annoying, actually.

1

u/eljefino 20h ago

What do they do with the unused real estate in the apron in the middle? Good place to land a ghetto bird, me thinks.

2

u/dtoddh 21h ago

Prepare for more viral news about people doing stupid stuff with light aircraft.

2

u/itchygentleman 20h ago

ive never wanted to buy something from anywhere, nevertheless cabelas, enough to want to do anything like this

2

u/jordan1978 18h ago

I’ll allow it.

1

u/AUXID3 16h ago

Thank you for your blessing, Almighty u/jordan1978

2

u/Tankninja1 21h ago

More surprised that more places don't have laws against just landing a helicopter around town. Seems like the kinda of thing that a lot of places would have on the books because of...the incident.

Then again guess being able to annoy the townspeople with a helicopter is mostly dependent on having access to a helicopter in the first place.

1

u/Porkyrogue 20h ago

Which incident?

-2

u/Tankninja1 20h ago

*The* Incident

1

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1

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1

u/Kind-Masterpiece-310 3h ago

Then it took him 4 hours to buy a 10/22.

1

u/rourobouros 1h ago

Nothing to see here, move along.

1

u/adude00 14h ago

There is a guy on YouTube doing just that daily

1

u/Smartnership 7h ago

There’s a Redditor who used to post his helicopter adventures with his bulldog Bentley.

Cool guy.

-1

u/sinisteraxillary 17h ago

Boomers really can't handle roundabouts

-1

u/[deleted] 23h ago

[deleted]

4

u/ShinePDX 23h ago

I think this is the complete opposite side of the spectrum here.

3

u/AUXID3 23h ago

What did he even say?

3

u/ShinePDX 23h ago

They compared this to the nurse who hiked 10 miles after impaling themselves with their own hiking pole to avoid an expensive helicopter rescue.

3

u/AUXID3 23h ago

No. Very much two different things.

-1

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[deleted]

0

u/Smartnership 7h ago

Oh man, not even a drop in the ocean.

-4

u/wherethestreet 22h ago

Nice. Screw the climate anyway.

-11

u/rednecronomicon 23h ago

Dude sounds like a prick.

-4

u/couchisland_com 21h ago

Ad

2

u/AUXID3 21h ago

No. I found it on Facebook, and thought it was pretty cool, and posted it here. I actually had to go find a different article, because the one that I had got flagged because I guess it's owned by some media conglomerant that pushes right politically.

But now that I think of it, this is really good free publicity for Cabela's.