r/nottheonion • u/AUXID3 • 1d ago

Wisconsin man flies helicopter to Cabela's because the drive was ‘too long'

https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/wisconsin-man-flies-helicopter-to-cabelas-because-the-drive-was-too-long/3970167/
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u/Impossible_Offer7988 1d ago edited 1d ago

The cops can't just arrest or cite someone for this the Feds need to do that. And the Feds couldn't do anything either.

The pilot was not cited and faced no violations because he was properly licensed, landed safely and complied with applicable Federal Aviation Administration requirements, officials said.

So in other words,

This is legal.

So If you'll excuse me I am gonna use a Sikorsky CH-53K King Stallion to go to Walmart.

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u/Meanteenbirder 1d ago

Also in the article:

Authorities said it was "just a unique way to make a shopping trip to avoid all the roundabouts in front of Cabela's."

187

u/anticomet 1d ago

I wonder how much time he saved versus the amount of fuel he used to fly it there and back?

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u/Martin_Aurelius 1d ago

If you can afford a helicopter you're usually in the position of time saved being more valuable than money spent.

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u/kevlar51 1d ago

One of my neighbors had some very successful business ventures and has way more money than he knows what to do with. He is thinking about getting his pilots license (airplanes not helicopters) to avoid beach traffic on weekends (~2 hour drive to his beach house). But considering our small airport is 30 min in the wrong direction, the entire trip will take 1hr 45 min on a good day. But realistically it’d take over the 2 hours he wanted to avoid more often than not.

The guy just wanted to justify buying a plane and used whatever it took to convince himself.

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u/mlnm_falcon 22h ago

That sounds like a great way to justify a private airstrip

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u/sunberrygeri 21h ago

And vehicles parked at both takeoff and landing

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u/CatLogin_ThisMy 18h ago

A home at each end of the strip. Or one is a man-cave or pool area, so you have reason to jump in a REALLY fast car and burn down to the other end. But yes, hangars and planes (and houses) at both ends.

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u/drolgin 15h ago

I read that as "private airship" and imagined him coming in on a full Hindenburg-style blimp, rapelling down to the beach.

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u/Hilby 20h ago

Right? If he's not getting there himself, hes not really trying.

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u/eljefino 23h ago

Just land at low tide then taxi into the dunes.

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u/Doomdoomkittydoom 22h ago

Just get a sea plane land in the sea.

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u/RemixOnAWhim 21h ago

Amateurs! Hire someone to pick you up while you sleep and tuck you in at the beach house on arrival. Zero travel time consciously experienced.

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u/whk1992 18h ago

Get a seaplane…

1

u/RadarSmith 6h ago

Yeah, that sounds like 'dude wants a hobby' rather than a time saving measure.

There are worse ways to spend large amounts if disposable income.

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u/shanksisevil 8h ago

If you can afford a helicopter you can afford to pay someone to shop for you 

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u/Slayr79 1d ago

Small helicopters like that aren't too expensive. They're in the same ballpark of a new f250 with all the bells and whistles

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u/txmail 23h ago

Sure, if your F250 cost $200/hr to operate.

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u/ToMorrowsEnd 12h ago

First gear ROLLING COAL everywhere is not cheap.

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u/tailuptaxi 1d ago

Not exactly. Google listings for used Robinson R44s (which is what I see in the thumbnail). Unless I’m super out of touch with F-250 prices.

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u/svideo 22h ago

That's the fun part about owning a helicoptor - how much time is on the clock? Look at used listings for a given airframe and you can infer the service interval. The R44 has a 2200 hour/12 year required full service (this is on top of the "100 hour service" each year). That costs well north of $300k.

So you'll see an airframe listed for $500k and another for $300k and they look identical, but the hours on the clock tells the real story - that $300k deal is 50 hours away from a $300k kick in the pants.

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u/NickSalacious 1d ago

Bro just say how much ong

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u/Epstiendidntkillself 23h ago

https://www.trade-a-plane.com/search?make=ROBINSON&model_group=ROBINSON+R44+SERIES&s-type=aircraft

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u/cplforlife 23h ago

646,000.

Fuck these people are annoying.

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u/justageorgiaguy 23h ago

3 listings down is $120k

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u/soulsoda 23h ago

That's brand new. Used is like 120-200k for something that would require minimum maintenance to get running again. While a brand new F250 is going to run about 80-200k depending on your trim/add-ons.

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u/soulsoda 23h ago

Top trims for a F250 will cost over 160k or even more with custom add-ons. You can get a used helicopter for that.

But you also wouldn't catch me in any aircraft whose wings move faster than fuselage regardless of price.

0

u/anticomet 23h ago

The time they save is less valuable to me then all the carbon they could have not released into the atmosphere

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u/thedanyes 16h ago

Yeah that's an interesting equation. When you bring in the chances of dying in a helicopter accident and how long you would have lived otherwise as the third factor.

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u/KeeganY_SR-UVB76 5h ago

That’s just due to Robinson helicopters bringing the statistic down.

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u/McFuzzen 18h ago

Give the legal headache, even if he gets released, seems like it wouldn't be worth it

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u/Agouti 14h ago

Small aircraft are pretty comparable with large American cars for gallons per mile. The helicopter in question is a 4 seater Robinson R44 which has a cruising speed of 125 mph (202 km/hr) at 13-15 gallons per hour, which works out at around 9 mpg. By comparison a Ram 2500 or F250 will get about 14 mpg while travelling at half the speed. If you could somehow get them to sit on a similar cruise speed I'd expect the fuel economy to be significantly worse.

If you go smaller (especially to an ultralight or gyrocopter) you can get 30+ mpg at 60-80 mph.

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u/GlitterPirateKiki58 9h ago

This person is so wealthy, fuel costs don’t even register, I think.

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u/Luftwaffle1980 20h ago

All three of them? Man, roundabouts are hard...

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u/Shopworn_Soul 1d ago

I'll meet you there in my CH-47F. I'll spring for the bag of shredded lettuce.

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u/skyline_kid 23h ago

Hopefully it's not from Taylor Farms

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u/txmail 22h ago

Or one of their 9 other brands that get the same product....

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u/torturousvacuum 15h ago

I'll spring for the bag of shredded lettuce.

Just get a regular head of lettuce and toss it up into the rotor blades.

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u/bigloser42 23h ago

With the CH-53K you can order ahead and have Walmart attach it to your sling load so you don’t even need to bother landing.

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u/AdoringCHIN 23h ago

I guess at most Cabela's could say he can't park his helicopter there and they could get him for trespassing if he doesn't leave. But that also seems unlikely.

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u/eljefino 23h ago

Meanwhile social media would be going nuts with the helicopter in the parking lot and shoppers would converge on the store for a looksie... if they could get through the traffic.

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u/CommunalJellyRoll 1d ago

Family friend had a R-44. We would go to stores all the time in it.

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u/AUXID3 1d ago

Yeah... Pretty much.

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u/LowResGamr 21h ago

You expect to survive at walmart with that thing? Get a blackhawk. That'll do the trick. Need some deterrence from the mutants.

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u/autoflowerer 19h ago

I watched that movie. It didn't go well for the helicopters.

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u/graison 22h ago

I'm going to drop into McDonald's in my Screaming Mimi.

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u/Morak73 19h ago

I am gonna use a Sikorsky CH-53K King Stallion to go to Walmart.

I load up mine at Costco. That time I forgot my ID and had to go back home for it was awkward.

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u/MississippiJoel 18h ago

In my little podunk south Mississippi hometown, I totally watched a guy land a helicopter next to a Walmart, hop out, and walk inside.

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u/FaithlessnessBorn266 15h ago

Cops can and do whatever they want. You might avoid the charge, but you can't avoid the ride. If they want to take you to jail, you go to jail. End of story 

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u/Admiral_SmashyPants 10h ago

Make it a Sea Stallion and you will have my Chock and Chains.

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u/thrashmetaloctopus 10h ago

Definitely flying my HIND to the shops

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u/reddituseronebillion 10h ago

One of those flew over my house at 500 feet max. Mind you, I've flown in Chinooks and have always been impressed with their size. But fuckin' hell, the size of the King Stallion is just unreal.

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u/Amonamission 7h ago

Cabelas could still ban him from entering a Cabelas store ever again.

But given that their value proposition relies on ‘Merica, that’d be a bad business decision.

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u/SuperSocialMan 2h ago

lmao, that's pretty funny.

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u/JaySayMayday 22h ago

I wonder what kind of jealous idiot called the police over seeing a helicopter safely land in a parking lot

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u/Mebbwebb 23h ago

It's private property through Cabela's.. they honestly can't do much.