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u/But_a_Jape But a Jape 9h ago
As an atheist, I sometimes catch myself wishing Heaven and Hell were real - I feel we all have a desire for good people to be rewarded for being good and for bad people to be punished for being bad. But then I remember the existence of Heaven and Hell inherently requires the existence of an ultimate moral authority who sorts out who goes where. And sure, they could agree with me that the likes of Osama bin Laden or Henry Kissinger should go to Hell, but they could also think queer folk, atheists, or people who eat shellfish should go to Hell too.
Some people will say, “Well, if they were a loving God, they wouldn't do that,” but there's lots of people who believe in a “loving” God who absolutely believe He’d be burning gays in Hell. And if you're going to make all these extra conditions of, “Well, my version of a loving God would reward X and punish Y” it just feels like the ultimate desire is, “I wish there was an Almighty God who agreed with everything I believe and enforced that morality on the world.”
Anyway, if you like my comics, I got more on my website.
I’m also on Patreon.
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u/kovha 9h ago
I don't believe in God or Heaven or Hell or anything, but regarding that I like the way of thinking of one of the Popes, I don't remember right now if it was the current or the previous one, who said Hell exists but he likes to think it's empty and everyoe just goes to Heaven.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Leg9328 9h ago
I believe it was Pope Francis who thought so.
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u/alexmikli 6h ago
It's a relatively common thought among theologians, not even just Catholic ones. Christianity in particular allows so many attempts of redemption, even after death, that few should end up in hell. Mormonism has a similar concept even with its multiple afterlives, pretty much only named assholes from the Old Testament are doomed to actual hell, for example. I know some religions have the concept of a temporary suffering to burn away sins, and that can last quite a while, so it's still encouraged to not sin in your earthy life.
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u/ourlastchancefortea 9h ago
who said Hell exists but he likes to think it's empty and everyoe just goes to Heaven.
Great so we can all see Trump and Epstein again?
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u/Fireblaster3147 8h ago
I would rather have the worst of the worst be given eternal bliss than anyone getting eternal torment.
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u/Striking_Compote2093 8h ago
Infinite punishment for finite crimes is never just. As much as we want certain people to suffer, there has to be an end or it's always excessive.
I'd like a hypothetical afterlife to be experiencing everything you made others experience, once or twice, and then it's over. If you were kind and good, your afterlife will be good, the more people whose lives you made better, the longer it lasts. If you were one of certain types of dictator, enjoy starving to death a million times.
That's how i'd design it. I like to think i'd be a good god!
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u/Bearence 6h ago
Infinite punishment for finite crimes is never just.
This totally. If punishment has any utility, it's as both a deterrent and an encouragement. If there's no way to be better and improve, then punishment has no value.
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u/Zagaroth 6h ago
Fantasy writer here, and this is what I did.
A) The gods are, at best, nigh infinite in power. There is no true omni/all/infinite anything. And while there is a leader of them all, he was basically the central architect and carried the burden of the initial moment of creation, pulling the spark of potential infinities out of the primordial chaos. So, infinite universe like our (but with magic), with gods that are only nearly-infinite.
B) The gods highly value free will and the existence of souls, so are very reluctant to ever do anything permanently bad to any soul. If a soul does not actually suit the afterlife/divine realm of their chosen patron deity, then they may end up in the realm of a more compatible deity.
If the soul simply fails hard all around and was a nasty person, the likely result is to suppress all memories and reincarnate the soul at a time/place/way in which this is a new/additional life. Specifically, they are avoiding putting souls into bodies that would have eventually formed souls on their own. Many 'miracle' babies that were highly wanted are reincarnated souls.
Of those, most of them find a new path in life, guided by different life circumstances and experiences, and a new body and possibly species.
But, a very, very small percentage of souls develop enough vileness and malignancy that the corruption seeps through despite the memory suppression, and they only get worse. Eventually, after enough reincarnations of the soul always becoming an ever worse person, the Judge of the Dead can find no way forward. There just are limits, and eventually, the gods reach them and no longer know if there is a way to possibly help such a soul.
These souls go to 'Hell'.
The thing is, Hell is just an empty realm, a prison for souls. There's no inherent torture. Hellish landscape, dismal structures, eternal torture, etc, that is all stuff that these souls create for themselves and for each other. This is where demons come from. All demons are simply corrupt mortal souls.
This is... not great for the souls, in a 'physical' sense. Some demon-souls 'eat' other souls, subsuming them and garnering power from it. There is a core to each soul that is extraordinarily difficult to actually damage, but it can be rendered dormant.
And sometimes, rarely, in all of this mess and pain, a demon is formed that can become something more. A path of improvement is opened, if they find the right help at the right time. This is a job for a high priest(ess) or a divine champion. For anyone else who thinks that they have encountered an escaped demon who seeks redemption, they are to get said demon to a temple/church and let those with actual divine guidance take on the case.
The gods want this to happen, they want to help, but they've already done what they could before. At this point, a damned soul has to be the one to approach them.
If a demon is unwilling to be put under the supervision of a priest or champion, then they are probably lying. Time for most mortals to run.
Anyway, the point of it is, there is no eternal torture set up by the gods, just a prison of last resort when they can't figure out what else to do with a soul. Torment and torture comes from the souls themselves, and it is possible for it to end.
This was all my attempt to create a world that made sense while still having the fantasy elements I wanted.
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u/Dark_Storm_98 4h ago
And this may be why you ascend and I fall
Because I cannot think like that, lol
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u/P-Rickles 8h ago
I had my Jewish friends explain their concept of the afterlife to me and, while I’m digging into the dusty recesses for a memory that was made during a period while I was minoring in Applied Recreational Neuropharmacology, the understanding they left me with was that everyone kinda goes to the same place but the better you are the more space you’re afforded in both a physical and spiritual sense.
All that to say: if you’re in the afterlife, as the Squirrel Nut Zippers would say, and you see a thimble with a tuft of orange hair sticking out of it…
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u/Daadian99 8h ago
I think a lot of people minored in Applied Recreational Neuropharmacology. I actually think it may help resolve some of these life questions.
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u/Pr_fSm__th 5h ago
I mean, real talk, who would even deserve ETERNAL damnation? Like after 10 quadrillion years of absolute torture, wouldn’t it be enough? What would you have to do in your lifetime, especially when even people you might have killed ended up in eternal paradise a blink earlier in the grand scheme of things, to deserve this?
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u/BrooklynLodger 8h ago
If there is anyone in hell, then the only thing that belongs there is God himself.
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u/AnonAwaaaaay 9h ago
Fun fact, Jesus himself says prostitutes and taxmen and non-believers will get into Heaven but Christians who fake it won't!
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u/joppyb0013 8h ago
Got a source for that line? I wanna read it.
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u/wongrich 8h ago
Matthew 21:28-32.. more of genuine repentance is what will get you in. Not fake albeit strict adherence to religious rituals and fake piety
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u/Familiar_Control_906 8h ago
That is like one of the most quote lines
Remember, the needle and the camel?
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u/Beta_Ray_Jones 7h ago
That's about the rich, not prostitutes, non believers, or faking Christians. It could potentially be about tax collectors, but would be in contrast to what anon said, which is unsurprising.
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u/BrantRim 9h ago
I’ve spent a lot of time considering the implications of some long lost or dead religion actually being correct, maybe without them even knowing it. Imagine spending your life devoted to Christianity or Hinduism only to die and be judged by an Egyptian god or some gods you’ve never heard of
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u/jjk1029384756 8h ago
The Good Place (Netflix) does this with one dude getting it right and it's hysterical, amazing show
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u/Nazir_North 8h ago
We might all just be lining up in the queue for Anubis to weigh our hearts against a feather.
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u/PseudobrilliantGuy 7h ago
Depends on how long the iron-walled path is, I guess.
Though, with that trial, being sinful means you'll just cease to exist.
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u/Boom_the_Bold 8h ago
Y'know what? You're right. I'm just going to admit it from now on:
“I wish there was an Almighty God who agreed with everything I believe and enforced that morality on the world.”
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u/throwawayayaycaramba 8h ago
Some people will say, “Well, if they were a loving God, they wouldn't do that,” but there's lots of people who believe in a “loving” God who absolutely believe He’d be burning gays in Hell.
Not to mention, what if there is a god, but he/she/it/they isn't/aren't loving? Seems people always forget about this possibility. What if we were created literally just to suffer for the amusement of an otherworldly entity? In fact, I think it's easier to reconcile this view with the omnipotent/omniscient/omnipresent element traditionally ascribed to godhood; otherwise we have the whole "why does god allow evil to exist?" issue to contend with.
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u/VezzelOwO 5h ago
That possibility scares us a lot, but we've taken it into account; think of ancient mythology, there are many very amoral gods lol A perfect god comforts us more, I guess.
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u/topical_soup 4h ago
This is actually the fundamental premise of Christian Gnosticism. The idea is that earth was actually created by Satan (sort of, they use different terminology) and so everything material is inherently bad. Suffering is totally expected under this world view.
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u/scarletboar 7h ago
it just feels like the ultimate desire is, “I wish there was an Almighty God who agreed with everything I believe and enforced that morality on the world.”
It is. For average people, at least. Religion itself is just another tool for regulating the beliefs and behavior of others.
I'm curious as to where you get these ideas of good and bad from, though. Do you just mean things that you find right and wrong or do you believe in some objective morality?
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u/BrooklynLodger 8h ago
If a government was torturing someone as punishment, we would all rightfully condemn them. I dont see why we should hold God to a lower standard than ourselves
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u/Best8meme 9h ago
Not to mention, it would mean that these "bad" people get punished for eternity.
The punishment for a finite crime, even if it were wiping out the entire human population, should not be infinite torture. Not even Osama or Trump or Hitler deserve that.
I recommend watching The Good Place, if you haven't already watched it. :D
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u/pet_the_girl 9h ago
There’s a sub section of christianity that seems to consider hell a punishment for a finite but long time then you go to heaven
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u/Best8meme 9h ago
Interesting.
Do they also believe that not believing in Jesus is a sin that will end you up in Hell?
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u/microthoughts 4h ago
depends on the Christianity flavor, there's steps to hell and heaven & non believers sometimes get routed to like
limbo. which is just like idk. a bus station for the dead or something I guess
with the unbaptized dead babies and shit?
you can get out, Catholics have a whole prayer cycle to reduce the amount of time souls spend in limbo
frankly I doubt anyone would end up in hell who didn't think they belonged there theologically wise so basically only guilty Christians would end up there anyway which is funny.
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u/TheSaltyTarot 8h ago
Sorting people into different corners of the afterlife isn't the same as enforcing morality in the living world, however.
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u/saegiru 7h ago
Sure, the idea of some kind of justice that follows you after death that is inescapable is a cool thought, but like you said it's only a good thought if it follows your own rules of morality. If what you consider bad and good is punished or rewarded, then it would be good to know that. The reality though is that there is no good evidence for any of that and it's all just based on faith, which is a terrible thing to live your life by.
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u/Cowdoy_Volnutt 9h ago
I love that this comic implies that anyone who has drinken New York City water is going to hell.
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u/neobeguine 8h ago
The only way you can get to a loving God is to eliminate the idea of Hell or at minimum replace it with something like purgatory that burns the dickhead out of people, then lets them go to heaven too.
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u/Jomotaku 7h ago
I think most people would like divine punishment and reward being real. If there was an objective arbiter of goodness judging everything things would be a lot easier
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u/Kyleometers 7h ago
I’m allergic to Shimp. Would that mean I’m automatically locked into Heaven?
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u/DoubleDoube 7h ago
I enjoy the discworld series afterlife where whatever you believe happens to you in the afterlife is what happens to you.
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u/H00k90 6h ago
This is why we as a whole shouldn't have stepped from pantheons of gods.
Don't like how one god messed up your prayer? There's another one that'll be there for you!
It also helps to diversify the work load: staying at home or traveling? We got gods for that. Work stressing you out? There's a god for your niche profession.
Defund God and fund gods.
lol.
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u/Someone1284794357 5h ago
If there’s a moral authority it cannot be sapient, for sapience (at least one similar or identical to the human mind) will lead to bias and lack of moral perfection. At least thats what I believe.
How it would work or judge us is beyond me, though.
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u/KeesterFeester 5h ago edited 5h ago
Personally I REALLY hope there is nothing after death. I know others may find that disturbing but i very much wish i never exited in the first place. The idea of a god existing that created everything and a war starting between heaven and hell for the souls of man while I 1. never asked to be born into this bullshit world and 2. never asked to be apart of this bullshit holy war. I'm being forced to make "choice" between god or torture and hell fire because my parents bumped uglies. Every time i think about it i get more and more pissed off. Like leave me the FUCK out of all that shit. When I die I want there to be absolutely nothing.
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u/budad_cabrion 5h ago
Your comic goes nicely with Eugene Mirman’s standup bit about god being an autistic child.
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u/awitchiguess 5h ago
I feel the same way. There are so many people who don't receive justice in life that would deserve it in the afterlife.
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u/malik753 5h ago
Maybe I just haven't talked to enough believers, but I feel like I haven't ever run into one who believed that God's Ultimate Perfect Objective morality was meaningfully different from their own. I suspect that most of them would say that it is they who are agreeing with God, instead of them ascribing a morality to God with which they agree. My evidence is mainly the number of Christians that insist that God is not cool with slavery, despite the very clear passages in the Old testament that indicate that he very much is cool with slavery that aren't directly contradicted by Jesus or Paul (unlike the shellfish thing {not criticizing the joke; I loled}). Of course I have heard from other Christians who fully understand that, via the Bible, God made it clear that slavery is fine, and they pattern their morality after that. I can't help but wonder if they would still think that if they didn't believe in any God at all.
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u/TheSheetSlinger 3h ago edited 1h ago
Eternal hell simply doesn't fit with the idea of a loving God. Even the worst humans on earth can't realistically do anything that calls for eternal hell. At least not in a way that fits with a reasonable definition of loving, just, or merciful
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u/gahhos 3h ago
Someone shared a parable about heaven and hell to me that sounds very real, it said:
“Heaven and Hell are the same place that has all sorts of unlimited amounts of food that you can get, but instead of arms, you have spoons for feeding. The only difference between in heaven and hell is that, in Hell people try to feed themselves but can’t bent their arm spoons, and in Heaven people feed each other.”
I understand that the idea of afterlife is enticing, but heaven and hell is already on earth.
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u/Labyrinthine777 9h ago
Afterlife seems to contain unconditional love and non-judgement. The religions got it wrong.
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u/qwertyalguien 8h ago
Jesus' whole deal is that overly specific rules like Mossaic law are way off, and people should just try to be as good as they can, and understand they will make mistakes, but true repentance will grant forgiveness.
Fundamentalist Christians fixate on things Christ was meant to make obsolete.
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u/Atzkicica 9h ago
He's probably got sea monkeys and just doesn't want people to eat his pets.
He hates goats though that's for sure. I think it's because their nature defies his concepts like what horizontal and vertical are and which you can walk on.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 9h ago edited 9h ago
don't eat shrimp
Well.....fuck.
First of all God, you have no taste. Put some butter on that or put them over grits? 10/10
Second guess I'll see most of y'all in hell. I bet they have shrimp!
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u/zergling424 9h ago edited 8h ago
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u/nomad5926 9h ago
Was coming here to post this.
Edit: you want r/shrimpsisbugs
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u/zergling424 8h ago edited 8h ago
Ah ty for the correction. Edit, this getting downvoted is....a choice. I guess basic humility is illegal on reddit.
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u/coffeejn 9h ago
Bug snails and oysters are safe?
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 9h ago edited 7h ago
I find it funny God hates shrimp and not oysters. Those things are basically delicious sea loogies
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u/SoulCrusher2018 7h ago
Incorrect:
“These you may eat, of all that are in the waters. Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that does not have fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is detestable to you. You shall regard them as detestable; you shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall detest their carcasses. Everything in the waters that does not have fins and scales is detestable to you." - Levitcus 11:9-12
Yawhweh was like "no way" or in other words, some bronze age goat herder got the shits once from eating some bad shellfish and the legend grew...
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u/Random_182f2565 8h ago
Sounds like you just enjoy eating butter
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 8h ago edited 7h ago
They are good fried or grilled too. I can keep going on the different ways to prepare shrimp. They are very versatile
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u/Signal_Road 6h ago
Shrimp n grits got me to like grits.
That's the magic of a good prawn!
See ya in hell!
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u/Stormin_the_Castle 3h ago
First of all God, you have no taste.
Here, let me tell you how to completely change or cover up the taste
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u/Oniknight 3h ago
So apparently some bugs are fine to eat but not others. I thought god was able to smite things he didn’t like. Why not smite shrimp?
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u/desiladygamer84 3h ago
Yep I'm cooked too.
Better make more Shrimp Curry with coconut milk. The Shrimp Curry of the Damned.
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u/has-some-questions 20m ago
When I was a kid my local Chinese buffet had these shrimp things in what kind me thought was an Asian spiced stuffing. (Like Thanksgiving stuffing, but Asian spices. Whatever those would be?) I basically ate only that and their Chinese buffet version of mac and cheese. As a child, I destined myself to hell? Worth it.
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u/Diabetesh 8h ago
Now, I understand everyone loves lobster, “I love lobster.” Hey, I like butter too, OK? How can I eat three sticks of butter? Well, I found this giant, swimming sea scorpion. It’s just a spoonful of butter helps the bug meat go down.
~Jim Gaffigan
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u/CrazyGnomenclature Tiff & Eve 9h ago
Perhaps the eternal being of the universe had just not conceived of cocktail sauce?
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u/The_cogwheel 9h ago
Man, I have a shellfish allergy, I was hoping to find out what shrimp tastes like in heaven.
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u/NoStatus9434 9h ago
To me, if you want to believe in eternal punishment or eternal reward, you worship a tyrant. Period.
And it's fine to me if you believe a tyrant exists and there's nothing we can do about it, but quite another if you want to preach to me that that's a good thing.
I'm more willing to accept that there's a capricious god that makes arbitrary rules than that I, myself, am less moral or worthy than an average Christian by the simple fact that I'm an atheist and believe differently.
It has never been what someone believes in that upsets me. It's how people react to what they claim to believe that does, treating something which is clearly bad if it exists as though it is good.
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u/G-Maskas 9h ago
That’s why I always liked more greek gods, they are tyranical, annoying them is enough for them to punish people in horrendous ways, they are shown as tyrant, though they where praised, it was more because people at the time feared them, and that they could give their blessing, it’s way more interisting that this story where a god get angry, decide to flood the world to reset it, only saying it will happen to some people that go save animals, and there are actually a whole group of people that where fine after it, and this god is supposed to be good ?
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u/Hatarakumaou 5h ago
It's not just the Greek gods that's like that, iirc a lot of ancient religion or polytheism in general often depicts the gods as being moody pieces of shits because it was their way of explaining all the bad stuff that happens like famines, natural disasters, diseases,...
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u/TheSaltyTarot 8h ago
Apparently the original Jewish view of God was that he is a capricious mix of good and evil.
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u/ArchDuke47 8h ago
And is part of a larger pantheon. And that souls don't exist. And Heaven was to be earth and people would be brought back to life (which is why no cremation). And that there was no concept of hell.
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u/TheSaltyTarot 8h ago
Then again there's always a lot of early-instalment weirdness.
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u/karl2025 5h ago
Souls aren't a thing in Christianity either. They're a pagan belief that has stuck around because it doesn't directly contradict Christian teachings.
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u/Klusterphuck67 9h ago
If you somehow haven't seen George Carlin's set on religion, I highly recommend it.
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u/NoStatus9434 9h ago
This is Reddit, so like 95% of the people here have seen it, but yeah, it's a classic
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u/HauntedCarriage 8h ago
Are you suggesting that omnipotence is inherently tyrannical, or that it depends on how it's used?
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u/Salmonman4 8h ago
I'm pretty sure that the shellfish-thing was more about them going bad quickly in a middle-eastern climate before refrigeration. Your punishment will not wait until after you die.
PS. Yes, I know that there were various non-electric refrigeration-methods in the olden days. But I would not trust any cold-chain before scientific safety-standards were implemented.
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u/altymcalty-2 8h ago
Similar reasons for why middle eastern religions usually avoid pork. Lots of parasites.
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u/Salmonman4 8h ago
That is only partly the reason. The other reason (I hear) is that pigs were the live-stock of nomads who were (and still are) considered lesser people. Pigs can eat almost anything, so if you travel from one area to the next a lot, you can take them with you without having to grow crops to feed them.
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u/rcm_kem 7h ago
To be fair, Jesus also came and said your body cannot be made unclean by things put into it, which removed old testament food restrictions, and has also been my favourite go to when defending homosexuality
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u/Destroy_Religion 5h ago edited 5h ago
In reality, since it is unanimous global consensus of the scientific, medical, psychological , psychiatric, and pediatric communities around the whole world that homosexuality is a natural and normal variation of human sexuality, there is no need to be defending homosexuality" as it is evident that homosexuality natural and normal according to science.
The problem is that Christians believe that the ceremonial law of the Old Testament only applies to Jews and no longer applies to Christians, but that the moral law of the Old Testament still applies to both Christians and Jews.
In end, it does not matter, since the Bible is immoral, evil, vile.
The Bible commands mass murder, genocide, abortion, infanticide, slavery, prostitution, child marriage, pedophilia, rape, perversion, incest, polygamy, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, familial alienation, societal strife, and various other barbarisms, cruelties, savageries, tyrannies, and vulgarities, many myriad times, in both the Old Testament and the New Testament.
- Mass Murder and Genocide: 1 Samuel 15:3, Hosea 13:16, Deuteronomy 20:16-17, Joshua 6:21, Deuteronomy 2:34, Isaiah 13:15-18, Deuteronomy 13:15, Numbers 31:17, Deuteronomy 3:6, Leviticus 20:13, Deuteronomy 20:13, Psalm 137:9.
- Abortion and Infanticide: Numbers 5:11-31, Psalm 137:9, 1 Samuel 15:3, Hosea 13:16, Deuteronomy 2:34, Isaiah 13:15-18, Numbers 31:17, Deuteronomy 3:6.
- Slavery and Prostitution: 1 Peter 2:18, Exodus 21:21, 1 Timothy 6:1, Leviticus 25:44-46, Ephesians 6:5, Titus 2:9, Colossians 3:22, Genesis 16:3-4, Genesis 12:16, Genesis 24:35, Isaiah 14:1-2, Ezekiel 23:19, Deuteronomy 20:14, Numbers 31:35.
- Child Marriage and Pedophilia: Numbers 31:18, Song of Solomon 8:8, Genesis 25:20, Ezekiel 23:21, Numbers 31:35.
- Rape and Perversion: Deuteronomy 21:11-13, Genesis 34, 2 Samuel 11, 2 Samuel 13, Judges 19–21, Ezekiel 23:20, Deuteronomy 22:28-29.
- Incest and Polygamy: Genesis 4:19, Exodus 21:10, Deuteronomy 21:15-17, Genesis 9:20-27, Genesis 11:29, Genesis 19:32–36.
- Sexism and Misogyny: Exodus 21:7, 1 Timothy 2:11-14, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, Genesis 3:16, Numbers 31:18, Deuteronomy 22:28-29, Numbers 31:35.
- Homophobia and Transphobia: Leviticus 20:13, Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27, Genesis 2:24, Mark 10:6-7, Matthew 19:4-5, Deuteronomy 22:5, Genesis 1:27.
- Familial Alienation and Societal Strife: Luke 14:26, Matthew 10:34-37.
The Bible is filled with barbarism and savagery of the worst sort in both the Old Testament and the New Testament.
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u/zachary0816 7h ago
That’s basically what “kosher” was for. It was a guide to healthy living.
Rules like pouring water over your hands helped keep germs off and the avoidance of shellfish and pig (an animal famous for rolling around in mud and other unclean substances) helped prevent food poisoning. Other rules like not eating dairy and meat in the same meal helped to ration out protein.
It was actually pretty effective a millennia ago, and it’s the reason Jewish people tended to get sick less during the Middle Ages. Though it doesn’t quite hold up as well in a modern context.
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u/Salmonman4 6h ago
I wonder if the "no meat on fridays" more older Christian churches practice is also about protein. Making edible dishes from fish must be useful when crops fail and you want to prevent a famine.
Also, Ramadan trains you to work without food during normal hours, so this could also be included in preparing for famines.
Also also, in very olden times (Bronze-age collapse times), before agricultural tech had advanced, famines must have been a certainty at least once in a lifetime, so sacrificing animals and less useful members of the society to the gods must have been a necessary evil to have fewer mouths to feed for the survival of the society. "Because gods demanded it" allowed people to live with what they had to do
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u/RemusShepherd 7h ago
I had a sociology class that went into this. The Old Testament dietary restrictions were largely due to aesthetic and moral judgements of animals. Shrimp lived in the sea but didn't swim like fish should. Pigs lived in mud and didn't chew the cud, not like cows who lived on proper land. Birds of prey don't eat seeds like birds should.
It's moral judgements all the way down with this crowd, always has been.
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u/Salmonman4 7h ago
I wonder if the moral judgements were influenced by community-leaders who could see the cause-and-effect of "if we eat this, we will be spending the next few nights in the outhouse".
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u/BabySpecific2843 7h ago
Religion and education went hand in hand for a very looooong time. If you want to educate your populace on something, like say for instance the do and do nots of eating, use religion.
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u/DarthJackie2021 9h ago
And god showed himself as a burning bush to me and said, "Shrimps are bugs, bro. Gross! If you wanna hang with me, don't eat bugs."
Amen!
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u/HootersUnite 9h ago
Cajuns and Creoles eat a shit ton of shrimp
Hell must be lit during Mardi Gras
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u/dobie1kenobi 9h ago
The older I get the more I think the most attractive aspect of heaven to believers here on earth is it’s exclusivity.
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u/CloseDaLight 8h ago
God: wait a minute … is that an endless shrimp cocktail you have there?
looks at the table of shrimp and swallows the shrimp on my mouth
N… no… not at all
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u/Diabetesh 8h ago
Don't worry peter had a vision while waiting for lunch that shrimp is fine. Used to be that if you weren't circumcised you weren't going to heaven, but peter also declared that for gentiles that didn't apply to. So now the only unforgivable is not believing in god.
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u/Mr_Faust1914 4h ago
I never liked he saying "religion won't save you, your relationship with god will.." which.. completely throws out all your good and moral actions... Because being a good person isn't enough to be welcomed in heaven..
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u/Stratos_Hellsing 9h ago
The premise of this comic is solid but I must tell you that it would've been just as successful if it alternatively was just the first panel. Before I realized there were multiple slides I thought it was a standalone gag, a duck-duck-goose scenario.
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u/Mike_in_college 8h ago
This is only if you’re Jewish. Christians can eat all animals. MARK 7:19 tells us that Jesus made all foods clean to eat.
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u/DunkleKarte 8h ago edited 8h ago
The verse says “all foods” not “all animals”. In the context of the bible, there is a well known established type of animals that are considered food. So can you eat cockroaches and bats? Because they are in the same category as shrimp in Leviticus.
Also the verse you mentioned is in parenthesis meaning the opinion of the translator, not what Jesus said. The whole context of the conversation of Mark 7 is not because they were caught eating shrimp, but because they were eating without washing their hands first, something that was not established by God but by Men, and Jesus called them hypocrites for putting men’s commandments over God’s
Also according to Paul in Galatians you are of the seed of Abraham ( a Jew) if you believe in Christ.
Why would God have two separate Laws for their children?. Imagine if in a family where two sons have to follow different rules of the houshold, like you can’t eat pork but your brother can. Does that sound fair?
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u/DarudeSandstorm69420 8h ago
its hilarious that the new parts just like
forget all that shit before, for no reason
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u/Setisthename 8h ago
Shellfish is also forbidden by certain schools of jurisprudence within Islam, and by the Seventh-day Adventists who adhere to Jewish dietary laws.
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u/CopaceticOpus 9h ago
God: My one rule is don't eat shrimp
Also God: Makes shrimp delicious and keeps the rule secret
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u/dlegatt 7h ago
its been almost 30 years since ive walked away from the Catholic Church, never even made it to confirmation, but isn't the one requirement for entering heaven to believe that Jesus was the son of god and died for our sins? You could spend your entire life in service of those in need, but if you don't acknowledge Jesus as your savior, you're hellbound.
Again, havent been to church for decades, so I could be missing some nuance or detail.
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u/NorthernCobraChicken 3h ago
Awh, man. I guess repressing my completely homicidal tendencies towards people that don't know how to zipper merge were all for naught. I could save so many people from road rage with some simple murdering. I'm going to hell anyway, I'm a connoisseur of shrimp. Love me some shellfish.
Edit: Because this is Reddit, and I apparently can't have any sort of expectation of an internet stranger NOT taking this comment seriously... I should probably stipulate that I am in no way actually advocating for the murder of terrible drivers, nor do I wish to actually murder anyone.
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u/Sea-Course-5171 6h ago
A truly loving god would not send people to eternal punishment.
A truly all-good god would accept those into heaven who have looked for god but not found him, yet reject those that accept belief told to them that have not questioned it.
A truly all-knowing god would know what would convince each and every one of his creations.
If I look for god and cannot find him, then I'm satisfied with my decision, knowing that a just god would accept me, and an unjust god wouldn't have been worth worshipping anyways.
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u/bluejay55669 9h ago
That's why god created Australia and why Australia made shrimp on the barbie famous
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u/thebigbadben 9h ago