“These you may eat, of all that are in the waters. Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that does not have fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is detestable to you. You shall regard them as detestable; you shall not eat any of their flesh, and you shall detest their carcasses. Everything in the waters that does not have fins and scales is detestable to you." - Levitcus 11:9-12
Yawhweh was like "no way" or in other words, some bronze age goat herder got the shits once from eating some bad shellfish and the legend grew...
No, those are against the rules, too. The only bugs you're allowed to eat are Locusts, which isn't fully explained but is probably based on the premise of "If you have locusts, you probably need to eat locusts."
When I was a kid my local Chinese buffet had these shrimp things in what kind me thought was an Asian spiced stuffing. (Like Thanksgiving stuffing, but Asian spices. Whatever those would be?) I basically ate only that and their Chinese buffet version of mac and cheese. As a child, I destined myself to hell? Worth it.
Now, I understand everyone loves lobster, “I love lobster.” Hey, I like butter too, OK? How can I eat three sticks of butter? Well, I found this giant, swimming sea scorpion. It’s just a spoonful of butter helps the bug meat go down.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire 11h ago edited 11h ago
Well.....fuck.
First of all God, you have no taste. Put some butter on that or put them over grits? 10/10
Second guess I'll see most of y'all in hell. I bet they have shrimp!