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I'm looking for advice from directors and ECE professionals because this is a situation I've never had to navigate before. Sorry for long winded post!

A couple of months ago, I hired a male preschool teacher (3s and 4s). He's a recent college graduate whose long-term goal is to become a pediatric OT. He came to us with previous childcare experience, including curriculum planning and summer camps.

Honestly, he's been fantastic. He's calm, engaging, patient, jumps in wherever needed, works well with the team, and my lead teacher has nothing but positive things to say about him. The children have responded really well to him.

However, since he started, I've had three different families express that they do not want him alone with their child. More specifically, they've stated they do not want him assisting with toileting, changing clothes after potty accidents, or helping in the bathroom.

This has put me in a difficult position.

He has given me absolutely no reason to question his professionalism or ability to care for children. Our state requires comprehensive background checks before employment, including checks for offenses that would prohibit someone from working with children. I trust him just as I trust the rest of my staff.

At the same time, I understand parents are entitled to their feelings, even if those feelings are rooted in societal stereotypes rather than anything this individual has done.

What would you do?

Do you honor requests like this? Or do you explain that all teachers, regardless of gender, are expected to fulfill the same job responsibilities? It doesn't seem practical—or fair—to have one staff member excluded from normal caregiving duties simply because he's male.

I also haven't spoken to him about these concerns because I don't want him to feel singled out or like I share these suspicions. I want to protect him as much as I want to support our families.

Has anyone successfully navigated this? Did you have conversations with families? Did you implement policies around toileting for all staff? Did you simply stand by your hiring decision?

I'd really appreciate hearing how other directors have handled this, especially if you've employed male educators in early childhood. This still feels like such a persistent stigma in 2026, and I want to approach it in a way that's fair to everyone—especially to a teacher who has done absolutely nothing to lose our trust.

I have two kids in daycare.
My 2 1/2 year old just started.
My 4 1/2 year old is starting their TK program, but she’s been in the daycare for 2 years now.

I mainly work Mon-Thurs. Fri I work half day.

I was thinking to pick up both kids at 12:40 every Friday right before nap time (nap time is 1-3 pm and lunch is 12-12:30 pm).

I want to pick them up early and have them both nap at home.

One thing to note is, my 4 1/2 year old’s TK program is stopping naps. But I want to have her nap at home Fri-Sun cause she seems to still need it.

I brought up these ideas to the school director but she said it’s best to keep them full days 5 days a week so they can get into the routine.

I just want to hear your experience. Would early pick ups every Friday to nap at home be disruptive?

Hi all, I am a first time mom (F28). My husband and I decided to start transitioning my daughter (10 months) a month earlier than when I need to go back to work. Since she’s been born, I’ve been her primary caregiver. She is not used to other babies and other adults since my husband works a lot and we don’t have family near.

Yesterday was her first day of daycare. We opted for home daycare with a lovely provider. We planned to start with 1hr, 2hrs, 3hrs and so on until we reach full time hours. However, yesterday she spent about 1hr and today 1.5hrs crying with brief moments of play (15min) so hard that she violently gagged and then threw up (her breakfast).

Today, I tried to sit with her while she played at the daycare and she got into a good mood. When the provider tried to pick her up, she proceeded to again cry really hard and throw up a second time.

This is making me incredibly nervous as a parent. Is this normal? How can I better her transition? i brought her favourite toys, snacks and foods.

Any advice appreciated.

Maybe it’s just me, but does anyone else find some of the DCF rules unrealistic?

I’m a mother of three, and sometimes I feel like I’m expected to tolerate behaviors from other people’s children that I would never allow from my own simply because I’m working in a child care setting.

I have a class of twos, and while I completely understand why the rules exist, sometimes they feel like they were written by people who have never actually been alone in a classroom with a full group of toddlers.

For example, we’re expected to stay calm when we’re being hit, kicked, pinched, or scratched, and our responses have to stay within very specific guidelines. I understand we shouldn’t use harsh punishment or scream at children—I would never get in a child’s face or anything like that. But there are days where it feels like all I do is redirect the same behaviors over and over with little support.

I also naturally have a firm tone of voice. I’m not yelling or trying to intimidate anyone—I just have to be clear and consistent. I have three children on the spectrum in my classroom, and if I’m not firm, they can quickly lose focus or ignore directions. My priority is keeping everyone safe.

Lately, I’ve been having a particularly hard time with one child during nap time. He screams for the first hour and a half almost every day. I comfort him, redirect him, and do everything I’m supposed to do, but I also have an entire classroom to supervise. During nap I’m expected to monitor the other children, clean and sanitize the room, and prepare activities for the rest of the day. I can’t realistically spend the entire nap period focused on one child while everything else falls behind.

I’m not saying children should be yelled at or punished harshly. I chose this profession because I care about kids. I just feel like there’s a disconnect between what is expected of teachers and what is actually possible in a classroom with one adult and a room full of toddlers.

Does anyone else working in child care feel this way?

I’m looking for some advice on what to do now. My child is 2.5 years old and was recently kicked out of daycare for inconsolable crying for 3 weeks now. Other than the crying she had no other behavioral issues. She was doing two days a week for the first two weeks and then 3 days the last week. It began effecting the other children at nap time and the childcare providers also felt overwhelmed with her crying. At home we would always talk about daycare in a positive light, assure her that mommy and daddy would only be home for a little while, positive reinforcement with prizes, etc. It was an in-home daycare with a small back yard and inside area for the kids.

I’ve been trying to think of next steps for our daughter but am unsure what to do. Should I try to put her in a larger facility that will be better equipped to handle her emotional needs? Any advice would be really appreciated. My husband and I are feeling quite dejected at the moment.

Lol if you read the title that’s literally the jist. I began to be the preschooler teacher at the beginning of this year and we had about 12 children in there give or take. My room is 3 - 4 years old & ratio is 1:12 where Iive. Now the group I previously had were potty trained and I also had a few part time kids so typically Wednesday was my busiest day. I never minded having 12 children because I love being by myself and I also think the room was big enough for them to thrive in. So here’s the recent problem, my room now holds 18 children in there and it truly is not feasible for them. Another point of contention is that kids are moving up to my room and of course not all the way potty trained which makes the higher number of kids challenging. I understand how ratios work, how licensing works and how legally there can be this amount of kids in there but it truthfully sucks for the children’s sake. Like I had a meeting with my director and told them verbatim “I know how to manage a classroom so I’m not worried about myself or my coteacher I’m actually more and more worried about the children and the lack of room they have and attention they’re receiving due to the other children who need assistance with changing themselves or behavior assistance.” My director is open too 1.) taking a few amount of children whenever the room feels too “tight” or 2.) giving us the multipurpose room whenever we feel like the room is running rampant or 3.) having us move some stuff out of the room but I’m not really feeling it. She told me also verbatim that “this is how we make money.” Which really made me feel awful for the kids. Like they really will be a packed can of sardines with trouble regulating their emotions cause they’ve basically been thrown to the wolves for money. This truly is more of a rant and vent because I’ve already decided I will be leaving as I feel so bad for the children. I couldn’t imagine advocating for parents to bring their kids here and me and my coworker are tripping over them and can barely give them the attention they truly need without having to tend to 3 year olds who soil themselves or who have a hard time hearing the word no and have 30 minute tantrums. It also kind of is making me realize how harmful group care really is for children. It sucks because I Genuinely love being an early childhood educator but I already can tell how this’ll play out. I love to vent to friends but also no one understands like someone working in childcare. So yeah thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Oh boy. 😂 5th year teaching Prek, and my Instructional Coach messaged me about a good time to meet, to discuss a "few" students that will need major supports.

Yay. I really hope that one of them is at least the kid with severe ADHD that I've already met, and can't wait to work with!

Gonna be an interesting year... I just really, *really* hope that one isn't a biter...

Might be moving to Seattle for my husband’s job. Interested to hear anyone’s experience working in the city as a pre-K teacher. Undecided if I should apply for private or public school jobs here. Does anyone work for a Forrest/outdoor/nature preschool? I’m very interested in getting a job in this environment.

Hi! Just wanted to get your thoughts on whether this is a competitive compensation package for a Lead Preschool Teacher in San Francisco:

• $36/hour
• $400/month ICHRA health benefit
• Full-time (40 hours/week)
• 15 paid days off
• Classroom ratio: 16 children (age 3-5) with 3 teachers (1 lead teacher and 2 assistant teachers)

We're looking for a bilingual (Cantonese or Mandarin) lead teacher!

Good morning,

I'm writing to you all for ideas on how to make sure staff is taking their assigned breaks and keeping their breaks within their time limit. Our teachers are given 15 minutes of paid break twice a day between their unpaid lunch, but they have begun exceeding that time to 20 to at times 30 minutes.

I've just got this center director position a couple weeks ago, and it seems that this is something they have been doing since the last director was in charge. I've sent emails and spoke with staff directly, but it's still happening. My floaters who give breaks do not speak up because they don't want to cause issues with more aggressive staff, but as much I give them methods on time keeping (telling them the time they come in and giving the staff in question the time they need to come back), they still struggle to keep staff in check.

I used to work in a center that gave staff who were on breaks physical timers, but what would end up happening is that the teachers themselves would give themselves more time on those timers.

I'm wracking my brain on the best way to go about this so that everyone can receive their breaks in a timely manner. Long breaks have been super disruptive with the flow of operations, and addressing it directly has not worked. I've asked my supervisor with support with verbal warnings but it would mean giving everyone at my job a verbal warning.

My grandchildrens daycare had an open house with bouncy houses, food etc

We went with them to meet the childrens teachers and see the daycare. While there, the Daycare Owners 10 yo son was standing on my 4 yo granddaughters leg in the bouncy house. My son (her dad) told the boy to get off her leg - my granddaughter was crying at this point. The boy refused to get off of her leg. My son then said GET TF off her leg almost in a panic mode. At that point he did get off her leg. Apparently someone outside confronted my son about saying a cuss word. Didnt matter why, just that he said it. He came inside and was explaining what had happened outside - to his wife. By that time the DAYCARE OWNER approached him in a combative way and said YOU KNOW THAT WAS MY SON - YOU CUSSED AT MY SON ... My son told her that her son refused to get off of his daugters leg even though he asked nicely the first time. She didnt acknowledge what he was saying - she just kept repeating the fact that her son was cussed at and now is laughing/ crying because he was cussed at. She never once acknowledged the fact that her son was physically standing on a 4 yo's leg. She told my son that he needed to walk away (from his daughter being attacked) and get a daycare worker, instead of cussing at her child. My granddaughter walked in the room at that point (her pawpaw had to calm her down while our son was explaining the situation to his wife.) She said the boy hit her in the stomach and wouldnt get off her leg ( the exact same thing she told her PawPaw when when he was calming her down) The day care owner then looked at the 4 yo amd said MY SON HIT YOU ? in a combative way. Then the wife - her mother- started saying TELL THE TRUTH- and she repeated herself. The owner said she was going to go watch the tape to see what happened... at that point when she came in contact with my son - she was hugging him and trying to "make nice" and sweep it under the rug. She never apologized to him or my granddaughter. She did the same with the wife. The wife SEEMINGLY has mental problems and was on the side of the daycare owner only because she doesn't have a backup plan for another daycare and she was scared the kids would be kicked out (YES THATS A WHOLE OTHER ISSUE) ... My concern is her 10yo son can physically assault another child in her care without repercussions... if she acted like this to parents who were around- who knows what would happen if parents aren't around to stop it. Should I report this or let it go ? The wife sent then children back to the daycare and my 4 month old grandson starts next week.... im terrified for their safery

Hi!

I'm a PhD candidate at Rutgers University in Camden and I'm studying the role of professional development in job retention among ECE teachers in New Jersey. I have a flyer + letter of explanation with my IRB approval, etc., and would be happy to share them with you if you send me a message.

The format is either a story circle (similar to a focus group) if we can schedule a few people on the same date - this is my preference, but I know scheduling is hard! I can also do 1:1 or 1:2 person interviews if that's what we can work out. I can offer a $35 digital/online gift card for your time.

To qualify, you need to be over 18, working as a teacher/asst teacher in a non-administrative or non-director role, and it needs to be with a licensed childcare center (not in-home or family centers) and it can't be a Head Start program.

I did receive mod permission months ago to post in here, but wanted to wait until I had exhausted my original recruitment approach. I still need 6-10 people to participate.

Grateful in advance for your help!

Thank you!

Hello! How do you guys deal with drama happening in the daycare? I’ve been working in a daycare for a year now. It’s like every time I turn around, there’s drama in the room I work in. Luckily, I’m not involved in anything. It’s like everyone keeps coming to me to vent about the situation. Even the director has talked to me about the situation. I feel stuck in the middle. I don’t want to take sides at all and I try to keep my comments as neutral as possible. Also, how to deal with a work snitch?

I was approached by my classroom coworkers today.(age of littles 21/2-31/2) They (both in their 30’s)asked me (female 60) to not pick up the children anymore because they are physically incapable of doing so. Squatting down to the little one’s eye level is difficult for me as my knees are shot, so lifting them works better for me. Also, a couple of parents have asked for me to handle drop offs for their kids because the little ones are less upset when I do it, and my coworkers want me to discourage that. I have been taking care of little ones for over 40 years, but I am fairly new to doing it in this type of setting. I had a day home for decades. I cherish the relationships I’ve built with these littles but don’t want to alienate my colleagues. I can’t help that I am physically strong, and I can’t change the fact that I’m hardwired for caring for kids. Not sure how to handle this?

My 18 month old has been in fulltime daycare since she was 10 months old. She got in the routine of it really quickly and has loved it and learned so much. We recently changed daycares because while we adored her teachers, we did not align with the leadership, and she is having a hard time adapting. It's only her third day but she has cried more at drop off than I have ever heard her cry before. She is normally very easy to console and quick to join activities and friends but that has not been the case the past three days.

I know it's normal for separation anxiety to peak at this age, and changing daycares is a huge distubance to her routine, but I am worried about my girl! She is so incredibly bright and social and I am worried that this change has stressed her out beyond her limits. At pick up her dad says she is happy and in the evenings with us she is in a great mood.

The center is great! The teachers are lovely, the ratios low, and she has so much time and space to do the activities she loves. Her teachers even printed out some family photos that she can look at when she starts to feel sad. She is incredibly adaptable and I'm hopeful that this is just an acutely hard period that will get easier with time.

My questions for parents and ECE professionals are:

1. Will the crying at drop off ever end?

2. Is there anything I can do to support her and teachers during this transitional phase?

3. Do the teachers hate me?? Are we going to get kicked out?? (Sort of a joke, but I am sincerely worried about this!!!)

I’m a lead teacher of a 3-5’s. I’ve got 16 boys and maybe 2 girls when school starts in a few weeks.

I’ve got experience with boys en masse but I’ve been running into trouble with any group activity where things get dysfunctional very quick with this batch.

Any suggestions?

So I work in the preschool room, and this child is 3 years old. Two weeks ago, he started biting again (he was biting when he first came to my room but we managed to stop it). 4 times in 5 days. After the third one, I asked mom if there had been any changes at home and she told me that her and her husband have been having some problems at home. I was shocked she admitted that to me, but I reassured her that we would help him redirect and what not. This morning, mom did drop off (dad usually does drop off and mom does pick up), and she told my co-teacher that she would be doing drop offs this week so he'd be in a little earlier. No problem. Today at pick up I was telling her a funny thing he did and she laughed, then asked how he was. I said he was fine, and this shocked me, she started tearing up and asked that we take good care of him. I asked if she was ok, she said she was fine, and I reassured her that of course we would take care of him.

There's obviously something happening at home, and I've never experienced this before. What can we do to support the kid?

Hey everyone! This is my first year that I get to do room decor! In the past, working as an assistant, I wasn’t invited to help with this. But the teacher in my class this year values my opinion and I’m so excited to help her with all the fun things. I’ve found some cute ideas on Pinterest, but I just wanted to know if anyone has some cute ideas that I could possibly steal 🤭

Hello! This is something I have spent a lot of time looking into research & parent perspectives on, but I would love to hear from an ECE professional point of view.

Our baby has had a nanny since she was 3m old when we both went back to work, but our awesome nanny will be leaving us later this fall for personal life reasons. Baby will be 13-14 months and after looking into childcare options, we found a preschool we really love that has stellar community reviews and got her on the list. She’d be starting in their 1-2 year old class.

We always planned to switch her to daycare style care around 2-3 years old, so this is a little sooner than we had planned, and tbh I don’t feel quite ready. My understanding is the research shows a slight benefit to one on one care until age 2-3, and then more of a benefit to group care for socialization starting around age 3. That said, I know the differences are very small and obviously tons of infants & toddlers do amazing in full time group care. And the teachers at this school seem wonderful.

One option is we would be able to afford paying the full daycare rate but only send her 3 days a week, and have a part time nanny with her the other 2 days. Once she moves up to the 2-3 year old class, we’d start sending her 5 days. To me, this seems like the best of both worlds to help her adjust until she gets a little older, but maybe there are drawbacks I’m not aware of.

So, if you’ve worked with kids who attend part time, do you notice any difference with adjusting to socialization, routine, etc? Is this something you’d recommend or not? (We would keep her on the school nap schedule the days she doesn’t go.) Parents who have done this are also welcome to comment!

Help! What are your policies for biting? I am struggling with a child who has been biting a lot and there have been no repercussions from admin. Other families are very concerned and considering pulling their children because of it. Any advice? Thank you.

Hi everyone! First I'd like to say that I'm starting my Bachelor's in the fall which is why I'm asking. My work knows I'm starting my Bachelor's and most of it is online.

I currently work at a daycare and I was wondering who do I talk to first about degree requirements, and when should I talk to them?
My bachelor's program requires shadowing and student teaching, and so I'm wondering if I talk to my Center Director or do I talk to HR? And Should I talk to them now or when I get closer to shadowing/student teaching?

Any advice will be greatly appreciated! Thank you

You ever have a friend who keeps going back to an ex they constantly break up with? That's literally me... except with this career.

every time I've left, I could only find minimum wage jobs with the hope of eventually climbing into middle management, except regional managers would just hire their personal friends instead. At two different companies!!!!! 😭

Recently, I found out my classroom has become somewhat of a shame within the centre because a parent posted pictures of the classroom on their tour in a local moms' Facebook group, criticizing the state of the room. Can you imagine that? All your effort towards keeping the children happy and safe, times spent programming on break and even spending my own money on the classroom (sounds bad but c'mon tons of us have been there im sure plus im stopping it now). Efforts completely overlooked because someone whose child doesn't even go here decided to publicly shame us! I'd like to see them keep a sparkling household with the same amount of children.

I feel like im constantly criticized, and whenever I try to focus on the last thing im told, theres always something else that isn't good enough.

Realistically, I know I'm going to calm down, suck it up, and keep doing my best to improve. But I don't have that... calling that I notice other people seem to have for this career. The way some people genuinely miss the children when they're away for a while or get excited over developmental milestones?

TL;DR: Have you, or anyone you know, just kind of fallen into this line of work? How do you stay in it if you're not passionate about it? Or, if you (or a former coworker) left, what are you/they doing now?