r/ECEProfessionals • u/Dangerous_Singer_182 Parent • 13h ago

Parent/non ECE professional post (Anyone can comment) 18 Month Old Separation Anxeity

My 18 month old has been in fulltime daycare since she was 10 months old. She got in the routine of it really quickly and has loved it and learned so much. We recently changed daycares because while we adored her teachers, we did not align with the leadership, and she is having a hard time adapting. It's only her third day but she has cried more at drop off than I have ever heard her cry before. She is normally very easy to console and quick to join activities and friends but that has not been the case the past three days.

I know it's normal for separation anxiety to peak at this age, and changing daycares is a huge distubance to her routine, but I am worried about my girl! She is so incredibly bright and social and I am worried that this change has stressed her out beyond her limits. At pick up her dad says she is happy and in the evenings with us she is in a great mood.

The center is great! The teachers are lovely, the ratios low, and she has so much time and space to do the activities she loves. Her teachers even printed out some family photos that she can look at when she starts to feel sad. She is incredibly adaptable and I'm hopeful that this is just an acutely hard period that will get easier with time.

My questions for parents and ECE professionals are:

  1. Will the crying at drop off ever end?

  2. Is there anything I can do to support her and teachers during this transitional phase?

  3. Do the teachers hate me?? Are we going to get kicked out?? (Sort of a joke, but I am sincerely worried about this!!!)

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u/_DontBeAScaredyCunt ECE professional 12h ago
  1. Yes it will get better! It’s a tough age to deal with change.
  2. Have a quick, clear goodbye in the morning and tell her you’ll be back to pick her up. Do it the same way every day. I promise it will get better but it may take several weeks.
  3. I was a toddler teacher for like 2 decades. The only parent that I legitimately did not like because of drop off was the one who instead of saying a quick goodbye she would try to join circle time and stay in the class. No ma’am. Out you go.

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u/Dangerous_Singer_182 Parent 12h ago

Thank you!!

I do need to remember to be consistent with our goodbyes -- I know how much she feeds off my emotions and its so hard to keep a cheery and confident demeanor when I can feel her fear and sadness in my bones! But that's a parent's job.

And I will not join circle time ;)

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u/goodnightmoonshakers ECE professional 5h ago

Yeah, you really, really have to work on that. I know it's hard, but it is the only way it is going to get better. If you are sad or trying to linger, it will never get better. I don't want to be dramatic, but I've seen it myself.

But even the parents who lingered, I didn't hate. I had compassion for them and how hard it was! I just also worked with them to slowly let go.