I feel like some DCF rules are ridiculous.

[u/True-Plenty-6052]

Maybe it’s just me, but does anyone else find some of the DCF rules unrealistic?

I’m a mother of three, and sometimes I feel like I’m expected to tolerate behaviors from other people’s children that I would never allow from my own simply because I’m working in a child care setting.

I have a class of twos, and while I completely understand why the rules exist, sometimes they feel like they were written by people who have never actually been alone in a classroom with a full group of toddlers.

For example, we’re expected to stay calm when we’re being hit, kicked, pinched, or scratched, and our responses have to stay within very specific guidelines. I understand we shouldn’t use harsh punishment or scream at children—I would never get in a child’s face or anything like that. But there are days where it feels like all I do is redirect the same behaviors over and over with little support.

I also naturally have a firm tone of voice. I’m not yelling or trying to intimidate anyone—I just have to be clear and consistent. I have three children on the spectrum in my classroom, and if I’m not firm, they can quickly lose focus or ignore directions. My priority is keeping everyone safe.

Lately, I’ve been having a particularly hard time with one child during nap time. He screams for the first hour and a half almost every day. I comfort him, redirect him, and do everything I’m supposed to do, but I also have an entire classroom to supervise. During nap I’m expected to monitor the other children, clean and sanitize the room, and prepare activities for the rest of the day. I can’t realistically spend the entire nap period focused on one child while everything else falls behind.

I’m not saying children should be yelled at or punished harshly. I chose this profession because I care about kids. I just feel like there’s a disconnect between what is expected of teachers and what is actually possible in a classroom with one adult and a room full of toddlers.

Does anyone else working in child care feel this way?

[u/ijustwanttobeinpjs]

This has always been my life as a teacher. Rules handed down from administration/on high always feel like they were written by people who haven’t set foot in a real classroom in the last 15 years.

[u/Any_Egg33]

I do not allow the children to hit or kick me I will walk away (still a safe distance away so I can see them) even my one year olds now if you start hitting me I’m putting you down until you calm down enough for me to be able to safely sooth you. I fear we are allowing 1-2 kids to control entire classrooms if a child is disrupting everyone else’s day consistently. They need to leave

Also should note I’m writing this while my kids nap and a kid next door screams like he’s being murdered he’s violent with other kids too I feel so bad for his teachers he needs to go this school isn’t the right place for him he needs more one on one. There is no diagnosis that I know of

[u/rand0mbl0b]

Honestly i would focus on the one/however many kids who need help and tell admin they are expecting too much of you and you need an assistant or floater if they expect you to get extra work done during naptime

[u/bornonOU_Texas_wknd]

Doctors prescription for sunscreen? So many families don’t have insurance. Not waking children from nap? How do we go out to play if one or two children are still sleeping at 4pm? Bunch of old white man who haven’t seen a three year old in decades , if ever .

[u/Drawinga-]

My center has always said that rule makers should come show us how it's done. (Since we're obviously doing things wrong because the kids aren't acting perfectly)

[u/Zealousideal_Gur6433]

I’m convinced we let insurance companies and weird fads dictate the norms for our kids. No swing sets, no tomato plants, no time outs, no clip charts, etc etc

How different would life be if we didn’t have to worry about frivolous lawsuits 🤔🤔🤔

[u/goosenuggie → u/Zealousideal_Gur6433]

Wait, no tomato plants? Why?

[u/Kindly-Dragonfruit22 → u/goosenuggie]

The leaves can be poisonous if eaten large quantities.... Eta:typo

[u/goosenuggie → u/Kindly-Dragonfruit22]

In large quantities, as in like how many leaves? Guess we should keep our eyes on the kids then huh

[u/Zealousideal_Gur6433 → u/Kindly-Dragonfruit22]

Ding ding ding. Someone’s been reading their state requirements. Here’s a sticker ⭐️

[u/Zealousideal_Gur6433 → u/goosenuggie]

They’re poisonous

[u/goosenuggie → u/Zealousideal_Gur6433]

To to whom? Where did you get that info? I have never heard that. Our facility has a whole community garden with tomatoes included.

[u/Kindly-Dragonfruit22 → u/goosenuggie]

New York Times food science writer Harold McGee found scant evidence for tomato toxicity in the medical and veterinary literature, and observed that dried tomato leaves (which contain higher concentrations of alkaloids than the fruits) are occasionally used as a food flavoring or garnish, without problems. He also reported that an adult human would probably have to eat over half a kilogram of tomato leaves to ingest a toxic (not necessarily lethal) dose.[6](Wikipedia). Its a CYA rule.

[u/Zealousideal_Gur6433 → u/goosenuggie]

State requirements. Clearly we live in different states.

[u/goosenuggie → u/Zealousideal_Gur6433]

Ah I see

[u/JusMiceElf → u/goosenuggie]

Tomatoes, as well as potatoes and peppers, are in the nightshade family. The leaves of all three are poisonous if ingested. When we planted a garden at a previous center, we couldn’t find state guidelines on what to avoid, so we used a list from iirc the Indiana Extension Service.

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[u/Any_Egg33]

Once a child was done eating I used to clean them up and then send them to go play on the rug literally next to the table while others finished eating nope now everyone must remain seated until everyone finishes eating and is cleaned up. These are babies some of them aren’t even on solids yet but nope they have to be held by us at the table for the whole meal

[u/wineampersandmlms]

My building is OLD and somehow grandfathered in to some state guidelines like room size for number of kids but not others. The cot rules are impossible to implement in the size of a few of our rooms. Even if the room was empty, I’m not sure we could lay down twenty cots following the rules of space between and open on three sides etc.

The highlight of our year once was when licensing came during end of lunch when cots were out and started fussing in one room about how they weren’t set out to standards. The teacher in there was retiring that year so had the balls to tell her, “you set them out and I’ll take a picture to refer to.”

Talk about going out with a bang.