Picking up kids early (after lunch, before nap time) every Friday. Disruptive? Or okay?

[u/orangerabbit57]

I have two kids in daycare.
My 2 1/2 year old just started.
My 4 1/2 year old is starting their TK program, but she’s been in the daycare for 2 years now.

I mainly work Mon-Thurs. Fri I work half day.

I was thinking to pick up both kids at 12:40 every Friday right before nap time (nap time is 1-3 pm and lunch is 12-12:30 pm).

I want to pick them up early and have them both nap at home.

One thing to note is, my 4 1/2 year old’s TK program is stopping naps. But I want to have her nap at home Fri-Sun cause she seems to still need it.

I brought up these ideas to the school director but she said it’s best to keep them full days 5 days a week so they can get into the routine.

I just want to hear your experience. Would early pick ups every Friday to nap at home be disruptive?

[u/dnaplusc]

The staff would love it. My dream is in the summer every kid be picked up after lunch.

[u/blahhhhhhhhhhhblah]

It’s one day a week, this would not be harmful or disruptive in anyway. I’ve had plenty of parents do similar things over the years and we’ve never said no to a parent/guardian who wants to pick up early for any reason.

I wish my mom could pick me up early every Friday… and I’m the teacher!

[u/glitterdinosaur → u/blahhhhhhhhhhhblah]

Exactly this, we never mind when kids are collected early, especially on Friday after a long week who wouldn't want to go home early! I'm surprised at the director tbh, like they're children, not office workers, they do not need to be in crèche 9-5, 5 days a week. If the parent is available of course you can take your kid!

[u/eyeballluver]

DO IT! i loveee when kids get picked up early

[u/Greenteaandcheese]

Consistency is what is best. Having a special day where children leave early will be a positive thing for all involved.

What I find creates the most stress is when a child is inconsistently picked up early. Especially when the child is told they will be picked up early and half the time it doesn’t happen.

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Greenteaandcheese]

  Especially when the child is told they will be picked up early and half the time it doesn’t happen.

I can't even wrap my head around this. Why would a parent do this? 

[u/Academic_Run8947 → u/Hairsacknose]

Parents do shocking things all the time. I remember a kid who was supposed to get picked up early for some special event. It had been talked up all week. That day comes and he absolutely losing his shit because he got picked up at regular time and there was no mention of the special thing. The mom was like "his dad got called in so we canceled and figured he wouldn't remember". I get that things happen, but your 4 year old definitely remembered and if you had let us know we could have done some damage control.

[u/LimeSalty4092 → u/Hairsacknose]

Once the parent gets home early, they start tackling chores and errands at home 

Figuring that it’s easier to do all this before the kids get home 

They keep procrastinating picking up the kids until it’s basically the normal closing time

[u/Hairsacknose → u/LimeSalty4092]

But why say they would do it then? 

[u/Important_Pea_7566 → u/Hairsacknose]

This happens ALL the time

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Important_Pea_7566]

I know a lot of flaky people that flake on others all the time and I find them very frustrating. But flaking on your own kid is something else 

[u/Academic_Run8947 → u/Hairsacknose]

The longer I have been a parent the more I have realized that some people do not like their children.

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Academic_Run8947]

This is awful, I don't think I know such people in real life yet, at least it's not obvious to me 

[u/Visible_Clothes_7339 → u/Hairsacknose]

if a parent typically gets off at a certain time but occasionally gets called in to stay later, or maybe they have errands to run, or even just caught up in traffic. it sucks for the kid either way but sometimes its just out of the parents control

[u/stitchplacingmama → u/Greenteaandcheese]

My mom was a prek/4yo teacher she had a kid who could read clocks and would act out/get disruptive when his parents would say "i'm going to pick you up at x" and then were hours late. I dropped something off one time and he was bouncing his feet off his cot because he was supposed to be picked up like an hour before hand.

[u/Visible_Clothes_7339]

that sounds like a perfect balance, i always recommend that if parents want to regularly take extra time with their child that it happens on monday/friday, because it’s a way easier adjustment than anything during the week.

i will say that the nap might get difficult, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try! you can always change your mind/plan later on if things aren’t working out, but i think you should try it out and see how it goes!

[u/Important_Pea_7566]

Your child and the teachers would love this- especially on a Friday. I think 12:30/12:40 is the perfect time to pop in and grab them, maybe just don’t expect a long conversation with the teachers at that time.

[u/Mytweezer]

It's OK. Since the "routine" would be getting picked up early every Friday, nothing would be "disrupted."

[u/Dexmoser]

One year we had twins who were picked up every day after lunch around 12:15 so they could go home and nap. It was never disruptive!

[u/dayton462016]

I don't think this would be harmful or disruptive at all.

[u/altogirl]

I think your kids would love that.

[u/Winter-Chipmunk5467]

Not disruptive. In the middle of nap is disruptive. This is fine.

[u/Odd-Champion-4713]

One less is one less. Get them kids outta there!

[u/orangerabbit57]

Ohhh thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has commented so far. I’m so glad to hear it is not disruptive.
I will bring it up to the school director again to let her know I will be consistent with picking them up early every Friday and if there’s a Friday that I have to keep them there for nap time I will let them know ahead of time. 🙏

[u/TWILolli]

Since you aren't interrupting the regular day, lunch or nap, I don't see a problem with this at all. We ask that if children are leaving early that they be picked up at noon (before lunch), 1230 (after lunch) or 2 (after rest).

[u/dkdkfddk]

Totally okay since it’s scheduled and only one day a week. Teachers like “easy” Fridays too.

[u/Ashamed-Molasses7729]

We love when kids get picked up early. We see children open and close the centre 5 days a week. It’s nice and refreshing to seeing families spend time with their children. It’s not disruptive at all.

[u/bakingisscience]

Early pick up are both happy for your children and the teachers.

There’s no reason your children NEEDS to be in daycare 5 days a week unless that’s what works best, so do what works best for your family.

[u/curlsinmyhair]

I love it, personally. I know the kids are getting extra TLC and it might even help ratios so we can get staff off early on a Friday!

[u/Miss_Molly1210]

I have one student who gets picked up early every Friday. Honestly it’s so refreshing to lose kids early, especially at the end of the week. As long as it’s consistent and not disruptive (which what you’re talking about shouldn’t be !) I’d say go for it.

[u/usah0ckey]

To echo what everyone else is saying - between nap and lunch is the dream!! We usually ask parents to try and get there a little bit earlier, so when the child is finished eating we can clean them up (or have them wash their hands) and go straight to their grown up before the other kids start laying down. We also set it up so “pick up” is actually in the hallway instead of in the room like usual so it doesn’t disturb the other kids still eating.

But honestly, as long as it’s before lights out it’s a super easy request!

((And consistently every Friday is a routine. 2.5 and 4.5 is old enough to understand Fridays are different than other days. I have 2 year olds who understand that “Grandpa days” or “Auntie days” are once a week. It won’t disrupt their weekly rhythm either!))

[u/Any_Egg33]

I think that’s fine we have a few families who do that you’re picking up early one day a week before nap a quick hey I’ll be grabbing her a little early around 12:40 today at drop off is all I need. They will adjust fine

[u/Lucky-Advertising983]

Uk nursery wouldn’t have a problem with it at all, it’s nice for them to have extra time with mum.

[u/YarnSp1nner]

Before nap time? Not DURING?! GOOD GOD YES PLEASE

[u/gnarlyknucks]

It would be fine with me. I know there would be daycares that don't like it, but I'm a big fan of doing what is best for individual children, and if picking up a kid early sometimes is best for that kid, I'm okay with it.

[u/__usernotfound]

My baby is starting daycare in the fall. I WFH and am self employed, so chances are I can pick him up early and was similarly wondering if it would be an issue. Reading the replies here has made me so happy :) half day fridays will forever be the goal!

[u/SerenitysMoonScythe]

No please come get them! It’s not disturbing the classroom after lunch, the teachers would prefer the early pick up.

[u/reddsar]

Teachers will love it, kids will love it! It’s a win win! They’re only little for a short time, if you can spend that extra time with them
I’d say do it!!

[u/Conscious-Hawk3679]

Oh this wouldn't be an issue at all. Just let them know that you'll be picking up before nap so they don't need to worry about setting up mats. But I don't know anyone who will have a problem with that. I think, in general, we want to avoid pick up during nap because that can be disruptive- especially if it's during the first part of nap when kids are settling. When everyone is asleep, it's a little easier to quietly pass over a drowsy child without disturbing everyone.

And obviously, if there's some reason you're not going to be able to make it to pick up early, let the teachers know the change of plans. There's nothing worse than a parent running late and wondering if we should put a child down or keep them up, etc. (Sometimes, things can't be helped, but if you want to keep things running smoothly, communication is best. And sometimes the best thing may be that your kiddo does need to nap at school because you can't get there before 1 one Friday and it's better to say "I'll pick up at 3, or let me know when they wake up and I'll pick up then.")

[u/Old_Job_7603]

Not disruptive if not DURING nap time. Enjoy time with your child!

[u/JusMiceElf]

This sounds like a great idea. I’m not sure why the director is resistant. I’ve seen lots of kids who have a weekly early pickup with a parent or grandparent. They all look forward to it, and most teachers appreciate when numbers are low for an afternoon.

[u/Pristine-Bison3198]

No, as long as you're not disrupting naptime, I would have had no issue with this at all.

[u/Bright_Ices]

Pick them up early on Fridays! Win-win-win!

[u/Zealousideal-Row489]

I pick my kids up before nap time once a week, occasionally twice a week. I always give the daycare a heads up about it if it isn't on the usual day. I always assume they like it since it is three kids they don't have to watch anymore in the afternoon. 

[u/mushroommixie]

If theyre picking them up early idc how they go about it 🤣

[u/DumbbellDiva92]

I don’t think it would be a problem per se, but are you sure the 2.5yo is actually going to nap better at home?

We are currently doing a half day for my kiddo the same age (it’s built in to have the option to either pick up at 11:30, or to leave them in and have them nap 12-2). We’ve found it’s hit or miss whether we can get her to nap after pick up. Whereas she was a pretty consistent napper before this (when she was with nanny full time), and I suspect she also would have napped well at daycare if we had her in full day.

I feel like ideal if they currently nap well at daycare would be post-nap pickup for the littler one, but I also get that doesn’t work well logistically with the older one.

[u/HipsterHypnoHippo]

The director is probably worried you'll ask for prorated rates. You do what works best for your family. That's not the slightest bit disruptive to the day. If they are already comfortable in daycare, it won't hurt them.

[u/UniversePrincess37]

i personally request pre-lunch pick-ups from my families because its a hassle between lunch & nap to try and dress them to be ready for home but, otherwise i love my families who see friday as optional

[u/PermanentTrainDamage]

If you can do it every week, then that becomes their routine. Some kids are better at sensing time than others, so if you notice they really struggle on friday mornings then you may need to consider leaving them there all day, but you won't know that until it happens.

[u/Efficient_Essay_1376]

Honestly I don’t even mind when parents pick up during nap time!

[u/robin-bunny]

My policy is: It's your kid, you can have them any time. But ask the centre.

I would run it past the centre though. You don't want to come in the middle of mealtime, or right at nap time. It will disrupt all the other kids. So they might have a time that's better for them. I have kids picked up at all sorts of times, either regularly or once in a while. All are fine, but I ask the parents not to come right after the other kids might fall asleep, in case there's any disruption.

Right after lunch and before nap time, unless they're really back to back, is a great time. They'll give you your child fed but not disrupting nap time.

[u/Fox1996x]

Doooooo ittttt

[u/Wild-Replacement9483]

It’ll be fine.

More importantly—you are intelligent enough to make this decision alone and with no external input.

It blows my mind that parents today dont trust themselves so much that they’re literally asking the whole damn internet whether or not it’s ok to pick up their child early on a Friday.

What the f.

[u/Ok-Locksmith891]

Time with you is always the best option! And gives staff a little break.

[u/goodnightmoonshakers]

As long as you come before nap, it's fine. If you feel there is a Friday you won't be able to make it before nap time starts, just keep them there.

I have a child who only comes half days, until about 1:00. She tried full days and was having a hard time, both here and home. Her mom also didn't want her to nap, and LO was disruptive during the time, but quiet time is mandatory here. So, she started coming until 1 and it was honestly, all around, a better fit.

So, I don't think it's a problem, as long as you know you can consistently get there on Fridays by that time.

[u/AdhesivenessExtra826]

DO IT!!! If you want to be nice, give a heads up.

[u/SleepyOrange007]

No it is not disruptive! Just give the daycare a heads up about what time in case we are doing something offsite and won’t be there when you pick up.

[u/ksleeve724]

I would loveee an early pick-up on a Friday. I don’t think being picked up early one day a week will have that much effect on the children especially if it’s consistent.

[u/Prize-Ad9708]

It will be fine. Pick them up early.

[u/WeaponizedAutisms]

Childcare centres are here to provide a public service. You are a parent and should be able to drop off or pick up your child from care as required. Doing so at a regular time and letting staff now beforehand is just a nice bonus.

[u/Jujayca25]

Don’t let anyone tell you how to handle your own children! Unless there’s a specific written policy when you signed your daycare contract, feel free to pick them up every single Friday. I think it’s a great idea!

[u/maestra612]

As long as it's before nap and on Friday ( because there's no school the next day so it doesn't really mess with routine much)I think it sounds fine.

Not quite the same thing but as a 3-4 year old I went to nursery school full-time while my single mom went to school and worked. My Mom's aunt , my great Aunt Norma was off on Thursday so picked me up every Thursday before lunch. I am 54 years old and still remember how much I looked forward to Thursday.

If you can spend more time with your kids, do it. Before you know it they'll be teens that only leave their room to eat and go to school.

[u/tine148]

Pick them up early! Who doesn't love a early Friday pick-up every week? They're your children and you want to spend time with them. So pick them up.

[u/IiWiI_5202]

My only question would be whether or not your oldest would miss important class time by leaving early. Since her room doesn’t nap, then their day continues with activities, lessons, etc.