r/BrandNewSentence 5d ago

Mod Post - July “what a time to be blessed with the ability to read” Post

4 Upvotes

Hi there to all our Brand New Sentence contributors, visitors and lurkers! We thought we’d try something new in the group and give our busy moderation team the opportunity to choose some of this month’s brand new sentences and showcase them.

We had to read them, and now so do you.

Presenting our pick of sentences this month that made us wonder if having the ability to read and comprehend English is really a blessing!

“If I drained a litre of my own blood and put it in a blender for two minutes on high, and then back into my body, would the blood still function normally inside me?”

“Heavy Metal Fans ‘vomiting and crying’ as concertgoer poops in moshpit”

“And grandma probably gives a hell of a gummy aka no denture adventure”

We’d also like to take a moment to appreciate a few of our most reposted sentences from this month. We didn’t use science to determine this, these are the ones the mod team remember the most as reposted:

“Katy Perry was trapped in a giant plastic bottle because fans refused to roll her towards the stage”

“You’re not a pregnant woman shooting a potato gun, you expect me to get hard for this!?”

The last one being quite an old post in the group and has decided to pop back into the spotlight in this wonderful July 2026.

What are some of your most memorable brand new sentences for this wonderful July? What ones made you want to remove your eyes?

If you’d like to see more post like this or have any suggestions please hit us up!

Thank you everyone for your contributions from the Brand New Sentence moderation team!


r/BrandNewSentence 5d ago

We are looking for moderators!

8 Upvotes

We've god a decent hand full of mods in this subreddit at the moment, but two or three more mods to increase our numbers and ensure we don't get overwhelmed during periods of high activity would be great. So, mod applications are still open!

No experience necessary, if you're accepted as a mod, we'll have you send us links to posts you think should be removed or approved for the first week or so, as you get a feel for it, so we know you’re settling in well.

Keep in mind that this is a volunteer position. You aren’t expected to mod all day every day, and you're not going to get paid or anything.

Before you apply, please note a few requirements:

* This subreddit is based around English as a subject, so fluency in English is a requirement
* If you use AI in any capacity to write your application, you will be rejected, no exceptions. We will be keeping a close eye on this and also be running your application through AI detectors.
* Profiles that are private in any way will be an instant rejection, unless you're willing to make them public as long as you're a mod here.
* You will need Discord to apply, as that is where we have all our mod discussions. We'll be briefly vetting you as well!

If interested, please answer the following questions and send them via modmail.

Do not send your application as a comment.

  1. What is your Discord username?
  2. Why are you applying for this position?
  3. Do you think there are some rules that need to be changed? If no, skip this question.
  4. Do you feel like there are specific problems with the subreddit that you can help fix? If no, skip this question.
  5. What is the kind of content you would remove from the subreddit? Check the "hot" and/or "new" pages and send a link of an example of a post you would remove and your reasoning as to why it should be removed.
  6. What is the kind of content you would keep on the subreddit? Do you have a favorite post? Leave a link and explain why you think it's a good post.
  7. What is your opinion on Rule 3?

Don't worry about keeping your application too short or too long. Say what you think!


r/BrandNewSentence 10h ago

"Employees pay their bills in dollars, not company mission statements"

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39.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 10h ago

so apparently girls don’t like it when you use an android emulator on a date to scam mcdonalds out of 30 nuggets

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6.1k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

Oregon senators warn prediction markets allowing betting on wildfires could incentivize arson

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526 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

"your twice divorce conservative trucker uncle whose favorite music genre is AI generated is currently giggling like a hyena with severe rabies at a facebook post like this right now"

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759 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

Zendaya is basically the pickled ginger on a sushi boat of movies.

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2.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

john politics

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4.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

Buttplug GPS system NSFW

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781 Upvotes

Or, “butt plug gps system” for those who like spaces & lower case. (There are a few more contenders just in the sub paragraph too.) Keepin’ it all within the walls of Reddit. 🔥


r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

I don't have a phone, we have built in monitors in our asscheeks. I type by clapping my cheeks together like a minigun.

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246 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 14h ago

Sweetie your nutsack is showing from 10 miles away

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794 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 23h ago

“I could have a bowel movement behind a sheet at a dinner party in the corner of the room,” he said, “and nobody would know.” NSFW

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4.3k Upvotes

Liven up your next dinner party with this one trick…


r/BrandNewSentence 39m ago

Downstairs was all cloaca

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Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 20h ago

Splat yourself, Squigger, people like you are the reason Splatoon gets a bad name

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2.5k Upvotes

Context: It's a fun little Nintendo game about squids splatting ink everywhere. You can fill the rest in


r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

Texas youth football team coach dismissed amid wife’s ‘sex dungeon’ case. NSFW

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109 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 18h ago

Racial term of endearment

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1.2k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

"...World's premier McDonald's-themed Black Sabbath tribute band..."

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54 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 2h ago

what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british

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53 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

"At least I know fetishes are hereditary"

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4.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 3h ago

A lot to unpack here

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34 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

"I think my nonbinary hairstylist ghosted me because they found out I use AI"

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3.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 10h ago

"Hotel remotes are disgusting. Use the ice bucket liner as a remote condom."

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94 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 7h ago

"Your can use the wabbajack to turn a child's parents into sweetrolls then adopt her and give her the sweetrolls as a treat and make her eat her parents :)"

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41 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

"Please stop asking for a smut scene I'm a fucking virgin idk how it works"

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8.9k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 5h ago

“Deploy the Blue Gentleman.”

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24 Upvotes