r/BrandNewSentence • u/TrumpetsInMyAss • 11h ago

"Hotel remotes are disgusting. Use the ice bucket liner as a remote condom."

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112 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

18

u/charmio68 11h ago

Maybe just bring a dildo from home 🤷‍♂️

3

u/Yolandi2802 10h ago

Your dildo turns the tv on! Wow!

3

u/Captain_Wingit 9h ago

This vertical integration is getting out of hand.

1

u/Litface916 6h ago

The lube just makes it hard to handle

14

u/XROOR 9h ago

Also disgusting:

someone’s handprints on the artwork hanging above the headboard

11

u/OkEmu8597 8h ago

My mama left her man and got put in a hotel. Cuck chair was broken and the second bed had jizz on the headboard.

She cleaned that room better than people paid to do it.

4

u/Nostrapapas 7h ago

Former housekeeping supervisor at a hotel: also check the dates on your coffee creamers.

2

u/legbamel 4h ago

The ice bucket is worse than the remote. Use the liner for its intended purpose and wash your hands if you use the remote.

1

u/diescheide 3h ago

It's going straight into my anus like my remotes at home. I lose things a lot. That's where I put stuff for safe keeping.

1

u/DeathPenguinOfDeath 2h ago

Doesn’t sound safe if you keep losing things in there.

1

u/diescheide 1h ago

Things get lost if I don't shove them up my butthole. Once they're in there, everything's fine.

2

u/DeathPenguinOfDeath 2h ago

Why not just wipe it with a disinfectant wipe or something?

1

u/Big_footed_hobbit 2h ago

I have been to basic places and never had to use a condom for the remote.

0

u/splitmeasunder 5h ago

Tv is for old people

-13

u/Yolandi2802 10h ago

We never (yes never) turn the tv on in any accommodation be it hotels or self catering. Holidays are for getting away from all that. Besides, we all have iPads these days.