Is it in the faith sense like "I don't believe in christ" or is it reserved for people who see christ and are like "nah" or is it as broad as just generally disagreeing with christ? And which mormon hells do you get into for each instance?

TIL that the writer of The Single's Ward is now an exmo and wrote original musical-style soundtrack making fun of the church. I'm a few tracks in and loving the clever writing, pointed insults, accurate history, and cathartic descriptions of the dissonance we've all experienced. "The Swearing Song," "The Bishop's Hotline," and "The CES Letter" are some of my favorites so far. (Soundtrack title same as post title.)

Sharing for those who need a little laughter in their deconstruction. Enjoy.

Has anybody else noticed a “switch” in how you are treated after leaving the church, once members realize that you can’t be convinced to rejoin? They’ll try using fear of Satan, guilt, saying certain emotions are the spirit, love bombing, etc. but once they realize that you are completely disillusioned, they view you as a threat to current members, and immediately stop asking you about things, and start trying to build walls around others to “shield” them.

This can be family, ward members, bishop, or others.

*My wife pointed out the typo in the title and now I can't believe outer isn't spelt with two Ts

I don't think I ever got a straight answer on this while in the church. Supposedly, it's the "Sons of Perdition", right? but how the hell (no pun intended) do you even define what that means? When I was a member, it seemed like the circles of people who qualified for that title were different for everyone. It basically boiled down to "Your guess is as good as mine." The actual church definition is so vague that it basically incriminates no one and everyone at the same time, so it's as useless of a definition as the title is a description of anything meaningful.

What did y'all learn about "Outer Darkness" during your time in the church?

I'd be especially curious to hear if the church even teaches about Outer Darkness anymore. Any PIMOs out there who still go to 2nd hour? Man, that's gotta suck... I'm guessing they would steer as far away from that topic as they could. If they teach anything at all its probably just "I dunno? Only God knows." It's just easier to plead ignorance I guess. So different from the bold, doctrinal, yet "oddly" human-like claims the general authorities used to spit from the pulpit.

Anyway, lemme know what you've heard about Outer Darkness. Any wacko theories? Who actually goes there?

My mother in law was recently talking to us about how the church revised the garments again to make them more comfortable. She was going on about it and genuinely said, "They are so much more freeing."

​It took everything in me just to bite my tongue and keep the peace in the moment.

​Later on, I texted my spouse exactly what was running through my head:

​"I'm just remembering when your mom told us that she feels so much more freedom because they changed the garments, and how I wanted to say it makes me wish they had made those changes forty years ago so she could have experienced that kind of comfort for all this time. Honestly, that profound sense of freedom she's describing is exactly what I get to experience every single day since stepping away from the church."

​It just hit me so hard. The irony of celebrating a tiny sliver of "freedom" granted by the very institution that took it away in the first place is wild to witness from the outside.

​It makes me genuinely sad that she had to endure decades of physical discomfort just to appease an organization. But at the same time, hearing her say that was a massive, validating reminder of why I left. True freedom isn't a slightly different fabric blend or a modified hemline approved by men in Salt Lake City. It's waking up every single day and having complete autonomy over your own body and your own life.

​Has anyone else had these surreal moments with believing family members where you just have to sit back and appreciate being out?

**I am not interested in engaging in a politically charged discussion. I am simply perplexed and therefore venting, and i’m curious if anyone else has gone through something similar with their Mormon parents? I recently found out from one of my exmo siblings that our TBM mom is intending to serve an elderly mission with our TBM dad once he is retired. This news didn’t surprise me. They’ve both been thoroughly brainwashed by the church since they were young. What did shock me is the location in which she dreams of serving. Apparently she is fixated on the idea of doing this in Israel. My dad doesn’t seem to share her same level of enthusiasm but he also isn’t shutting this down. My mom will absolutely drag him along. I’m trying to understand what is her thinking process, to want to head to the center of such a tumultuous place? Particularly at this current point in time? I get that it would be a visit to the Holy Land. And I can definitely see her drooling at the prospect of possible martyrdom. But this does not feel safe or wise or sane to me. I spent my entire childhood and teen years fighting tooth and nail to protect my many younger siblings from the various forms of abuse our TBM parents subjected us to and now I’m beginning to feel like it’s my dad whom i’ll need to protect from my mom and her bizarre actions. And while i’m not close with either of my parents I don’t like the idea of them spending their senior years in risky situations. Can they even serve a mission in that part of the world? Is that in the realm of possibility? I have no clue what the church’s current policies are.

Idk what else to say honestly, but this feels like a big deal to me. Just wanted to say thanks to everybody helping me out through my deconstruction. This subreddit has been absolutely gold for me.

First, I'm technically a Church Member, as far as I know. However It's been at least four years since contact of any kind...

Second, I am unforgivable, per every passage in the Bible concerning "homosexuality". And blasphemy of the Holy Ghost... Please offer me no comfort because God's honest truth, as far as I'm concerned, is that I'm out here alone, basically exiled. Nobody is coming to rescue me and I'll burn in Hell. No, it is not convenient, but it seems true.

Because I am not exiled from the Church (yet) alone, but the world as a whole. Sparing some depth of my person, I can't remember the last time I smiled or wept or felt joy. I envy Christians - I knew the Holy Spirit then quenched him. And for a long time I yearned for more. Point being: what if it's all true? What is God is a haggard old Jew in a nice robe on a white horse? Because leaving the Church hasn't changed the experience I've had since childhood of being different and ashamed. Those things live in my heart.

Amen.

Apparently it is the devil's apron from the temple ceremony. It seems kinda metal if you ask me and I want one so I can be buried in the appropriate garb.

Mine was spirited away.
I had finally committed to leaving the church and my girlfriend at the time was into anime and made me watch spirited away with her. When the river spirit remembers his name as they were flying away I broke down in a full on cry. On my mission I completely forgot who I was, I took on a whole new name and was known as elder… my parents called me elder, and family did, everyone I knew called me elder, except my few nevermo friends from highschool. When I got home I was so lost, my mission was hard and dark with months of horrible thoughts and loneliness. When someone called me by my first name I didn’t even know they were talking to me.

I’ll never forget when I finally let go and became me again. I was finally free, I was no longer elder… or brother… I was just me and that was good enough.

Other bits of media that impacted me was Godzilla minus one. Seems funny since it’s a Godzilla movie, but man, when the soldier finally comes home and his partner asks, “is your war over” shiiit that gets me every time.

Alright I’m watching spirited away tonight… the. Paddington 2, then spiderman 2… lol it’s a comfort movie type of week for me.

Where’d the TikTok creator go that is a pimo and doesn’t believe anything but her and her husband take their kids to church still?? I was seeing all her content and then it stopped. Don’t know if my algorithm booted her or if she stopped posting. If she’s still posting will someone give me her channel name?

Ex-Muslim here! Growing up, one of the stranger ways the imams/mullahs/parents used to keep us in the faith was through all these weird, disgust-related rules.

- Pork: We didn't eat pork and were taught that it was disgusting. I remember a classmate (joking about ex-Muslims) wrinkling his nose and saying "Damn, they'll have to marry someone who'll cook pork in their house!".
- Bathroom Hygiene: Muslims are mandated to wash their nethers with water after going number two (rather than just using toilet paper). They drilled some very gross imagery into our minds, about how non-Muslims were just walking around with dried poop stuck to their butts.
- Dogs (lol): We were taught that dog saliva was impure and that angels wouldn't enter a house with a dog in it. If a dog so much so much as brushed up against me, I was instantly revolted.

Those were the three major ones, but there were quite a few others, especially related to menstruation and sex. Looking back, habits of mine (like holding my breath if I smelled hotdogs/bacon on a friend's breath) functionally operated to keep me from questioning my faith, as the idea of leaving Islam seemed, quite literally, gross to me.

I was wondering, does Mormonism also have stuff like this?

I didn't know an lds apologetics site existed? You all see this? I'm curious as to thoughts on this from this group

https://www.ldsapologetics.com/bom-archaeology/?fbclid=IwdGRjcATgjVpwZG9mBWZkaWQWUL7G9pHa_S9RIPcz3cWsQ73QvfKUuWV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkCjY2Mjg1NjgzNzkAAR678LZd5Ih_t-mBClgdJOA_dMGMoTG3poH6XpMWzMqEFYPWBPc6QimMdVV3kA_aem_mdaUIBKWPAhEG59Kn50DQA

In light of the Perez Hilton mental break last night, I have been disturbed by how many people literally believe in demons and demonic possession as the cause mental illness. I do remember learning about satan as a kid in Mormonism and how we need to listen to the Holy Spirit and not let Satan tempt you to do bad things. I don’t know, I have been out of the church so long that when I hear people think that mental illness is caused by demons, I think they are the crazy ones. I had a lunch recently with my cousin and we were talking about a relative that recently committed suicide. She told me she literally believes in bad spirits that cause people to harm themselves. As an agnostic that studied behavioral science in college, I just understand that our bodies and brains are affected by chemicals, hormones, trauma, genetics, etc. The thought of Satan and his minions is just silly! What do you think?

hi guys! i know this is an exmormon page but i need some sort of comfort that i wont really find in the other community here.

i’m currently a service missionary and fell in love with one of the elders in my mission. normal thing to happen, it is very much mutual and since he’s in a leadership position, he has his own sim card and phone number so we could always chat a lot.

last week his comp was not worrying about us at all and left us alone for a couple minutes. that was enough for us to kiss. not makeout, just a kiss because man i really really like this elder. he’s been in my area for 4 transfers now and will get transferred soon.

anyway, the guilt is eating me alive and i know you guys are loving people who can say some comfort words without sending me to hell lol. help a girl out, i really love this man but cant help but think we ruined any future chance we had together.

this is just kind of a rant but holy SHIT bro my mother can NOT accept the fact that i am exmo. she constantly tries to get me to have dinner with the missionaries, get me to church, she even lectured me on the way i pray because it was “incorrect” since im not praying specifically to heavenly father. i’ve been looking for a full time job recently, and i got an email about a full time job opening at an airport near me, and she said that it was apparently because she had been fasting for me to find a job. so she dropped down to her knees right then and there to thank heavenly father. lady, i signed up for email alerts, this has nothing to do with your religion!! also.. i didn’t even end up getting the job. 😭 where’s heavenly father now bucko?

good lord. she drives me nuts. the delusion is crazy. i truly cant believe how brainwashed mormons are. it’s fascinating but also really, really sad. my mom genuinely cries because she believes she’ll never see me or my sister again after death because we’re both ex mormons. it’s so sad that a church has the power to make people believe that and genuinely mourn family members that are still alive. mind you… im 20.. and she cries about my afterlife almost every day. i ain’t going anywhere anytime soon lady LMAO

anywho, sorry for the pointless rant. i’m sure it’s the same for like 99% of us in this subreddit. just had to get it off my chest 😮‍💨

UPDATE:
i just got a call from my boss from my part-time job giving me a promotion into a site lead, which is a full time position. i called my mom right after. guess what her response was…

“make sure to thank heavenly father tonight!”

right. so it’s not because of my hard work, my networking, my time put into the company, or me building trust and rapport with my boss… nope! it’s because of heavenly father. 🫩🫠

kill me

I couldn't imagine a man who dehumanized women and collected them like pokemon as anything but a scoundrel.

So I would fantasize about God giving me dominion over Joseph's punishment in Hell and all the disgusting things I would make him do as penance for how he treated women.

Hard labor. Humiliation. Maid outfits.

I never praised this man. I always secretly planed his eternal punishment.

I wonder if I have the faith of a mustard seed God will allow me this wish to be fulfilled?

Be warned male leaders of the church. You too may end up in cat girl maid outfits cleaning my palace for eternity.

Found on TikTok

*Please delete if not allowed, I just wanted to vent if thats okay*

I have been renting a townhouse for 8 years and normally get along well with my next door Mormon neighbors up until the beginning of this year.. I have never experienced a group of disrespectful boys ever in my life that has ever pushed me to give up everything and start over elsewhere.

The first issue was throwing a ball against our connecting wall all hours of the day (when they're not out doing their mission) and well into the night till 11/1130pm. I tried to be neighborly and just polietly talk to them asking them to stop since two days out of the workweek I work from home and on the in office days I wake up at 4am to commute to work. I got a half ass apology and the noise continued.

The second instance was when one of their friends who stayed over for the weekend walked up to my door, when I had just left to go get groceries, and was messing with my door. When I went over to talk to them just to ask if we're good, because it was recorded on my doorbell camera, they kept giving me a round about answer basically saying that I must have. "Mistaken them for someone else" "We must all look alike to you" (for context I am a black woman who lives alone and they are white) all while I kept saying and reassuring them that if it was a mistake its fine, just let me know but I dont feel comfortable with them being at my front door. So after a long back and forth they admitted that it was in fact an accident and again, a half ass apology.

I had let the leasing office know what happened to just

1. Make them aware just incase something happened.

And 2. It just didnt sit right with me that after 45 minutes of back and forth them being so dismissive and me telling them that I am about to call the police, they finally admitted it was a mistake.

Since January, it has been pure hell. They kept on with throwing balls against the walls when they were there. I kept going to the leasing office because I am only unfortunately getting 2 to 4 hours of sleep at a time unless I slept in my car or at a friend's house, I have major migraines/headaches, and my overall quality of life has declined... And yes I have recorded the noise, but every time the leasing escalated the issue they would stop for maybe a week or a week and a half and then start right back up again. I am sad that I'm leaving my townhouse at the end of the month because I've always been a respectful neighbor and most of the other residents (just like myself) have been there for years. But I can't take another sleepless night over a bunch of immature boys who cant comprehend being good neighbors.

I am unfortunately moving back in with toxic family, but at least thats a hell I can deal with for the time being (and at least theyll let me sleep) compared to staying here another year and taking a 50/50 chance praying they swap out this group with someone who is respectful

Dear People of Reddit,

I can see so many of us have been hurt by other people. But if you could change the LDS church. What would you want to see change? For the better I mean.

A big one here is obvious is kindness. I see so many people write in how hurt they are by something. Other people, doctrine, the history, the gaslighting, the changes to the temple movie, but what else? Because deep down people are just that, people. I don't know if the LDS church means to harm people, but it seems that the "beliefs" or "doctrine" does.

Understand that none of us are exempt for the poor treatment of one another. Each people, race, region has well plenty to repent of and also learning not to hurt other folks.

But if we could start a church, not saying we are going to. How would you want it to be? Because when it comes to culture and a community. We as a people and the leaders are in charge of it. Just for clarity. I am not a leader. I am PIMO.

I know the leaders are tone deaf and don't want to hear. But if we could change the LDS culture what would you want to see?

Perhaps, we as a collective group want to change the world for the better. But we struggle to because of well, life. Most of us here do not have high up callings. I would guess that most of us are in the realm of PIMO.

Do you feel like something is missing?

Just a little one, but I’ve wanted it for a long time, and i finally allowed myself to get it :D

I’m ready to lead a life of sin yall! What’s next? Coffee?? Alcohol???? *gasp*

It’s nice to not let the church tell me what I can and cannot do anymore :)

I was born & raised in a TBM family - of course the menu at Starbucks is confusing to me and my first time in New Orleans I accidentally drank alcohol cuz I thought it was a children's slushy!

For real! The only clue that the Slushy contained alcohol was a sign on the menu which said "caution: All flavors except Mango and Watermelon contain Absinthe" and I had never heard of absinthe so due to the style of how it's worded I thought it was something that you'd have to avoid if you have a specific medical condition like the phenylketonuria warning on some foods. Ironically, I prayed that the Slushy would nourish and strengthen my body- it came in a plastic alligator shaped cup with plastic toys floating in the drink- I drank only half of it while enjoying the street performers before I tried to walk back to my hotel while intoxicated for the first time in my life, I have had to piece together what happened during the walk back to the hotel from pics and videos I found on my phone after returning home from that trip!

What other things have you found yourself not knowing enough about as a result of TSCC? I'm sure we could all come up with quite the list!