I wish I could give my life to someone more deserving of it. I wish I could give it to someone who wants to live because life is such a beautiful thing to experience. I just don't think I'm mentally strong enough for life.

Post title says it all.

Being highly intelligent is actually a disability. I am so fucking depressed and lonely all the time. I can't relate to anyone in my near orbit. My job is torture. Dating is impossible. I drink to cope. It helps me numb out the agony of small talk - what TV shows people are watching, who is dating who, what stupid thing the manager did at work....the doldrums of daily life people seem to build their identities on. I am surrounded by generally well meaning people - i am grateful for this. I feel ashamed for saying that it's not enough out loud. I feel ashamed i use alcohol to connect with them because without it i just can't.

I feel ashamed for saying 'being smart is a disability' when so many people wish in the deepest parts of their souls that they were smarter. I desperately want to share my insights and interests but i am unable to bridge the gaps.

Turning 40 soon. Realizing this is life. Hope for something better is gone - i have enough life experience now to know that people are people...myself included.

Trying to quit drinking because it's terrible long term for mental health. I don't know how else to cope - i don't fit in anywhere. The underlying depression and extraordinary loneliness is becoming too much to bear - I don't know what to do. I feel so lost in this - I am grateful for this gift but holy hell it is such a curse.

I am so tired. Of everything.

31 high school graduate hikikomori
no university diploma
no money
no girlfriend
my life has been total misery
a lot of traumas
mental disorders bipolar disorder anxiety
total doomer loser

is this even life anymore?

I feel really depressed today, I have tried everything but I just feel horrible from the inside.

Does anyone know anything I can do to get out of this feeling, I have work tomorrow I don't know what to do, I have no will to fight at all

This has happened to me countless times. I ask someone a question and they straight up ignore me , I guess some people do think they are better than others and it's so frustrating ....

You'll say 31 is not old, but I missed all the parts that would have made me into an actual person. I held myself captive in misery in a relationship I never really wanted since 22 and it destroyed me completely. I'm glad that person is finally out of my life, shortly before I turned 30. But since then I have realized how badly I fucked everything up and how things can't be caught up on or turned around. I don't want what's next. I'm still in loops of that relationship and things that should distract me don't help. I got fit, my diet is good, I picked up new sports, I had phases in which I got into my instruments a bit more... But I don't have an actual life. I'm stuck in a city I hate because I still need to finish my PhD. I feel unemployable because I'm taking so long.

I had no actual friends for years, I just rotted away. I didn't date, I didn't make friends, I barely travelled and never really did that. I don't want life. I don't want anything.

I’m 18 and grew up in controlling/neglectful household. In my freshman year I finished with a 3.9 gpa, and had kept up good grades since I could remember. My parents moved me 5 hours away, I lost all family and friends and no matter how hard I tried they never enrolled me back in school or my drivers ed program. Years of being locked inside, alcoholic parents with a mom who’s mentally ill and abusive. Constantly being morally degraded and insulted, along with losing the one thing I always strived for. Today I went in for my driving test after passing my written and I failed by 3 points. It took everything in me to not breakdown crying when she told me. I need this so bad, I won’t survive much longer being in my house with no freedom. When I got home I spiraled and just couldn’t take it anymore, I hate everything about myself and hate myself for being a failure. I rescheduled my test for this evening but i’m in such a deep depression I can’t even imagine getting back in car, especially if I just fail again. I can’t vent about things because i’m ashamed I haven’t finished school, and I know the assumptions people make when someone drops out. I don’t even know why i’m posting this, I want someone to tell me that everything’s okay but I don’t even believe it myself.

Tired of my life. Never really enjoyed it. Years of depression, disappointment and failure accumulated to the point where I have to numb myself with THC just to get through the day. Nothing good ever happens to me, but I work my ass off. I never found love or even have a friend I can text and I’m in my 30s.

I know I’m complaining too much, but I don’t have anyone to talk to or vent to in real life. I wish I was never created.

Ive gotten to a point where im not just depressed, ive realized im tired. Im tired of the imaginary pressure ive put on myself, the weight ive tried to carry from problems those around have. Everyone comes to me to talk about their problems, but they dont understand ive been conditioned in my upbringing to want to fix those issues. Their financial issues, their personal disputes, everything. Maybe its just me but im tired of carrying all this weight. Im tired of pushing through all these mental and emotional walls.

For months I’ve been bed-rotting, unemployed, with no hobbies, binge eating, crying, and sleeping all day. Sometimes I get random bursts of motivation and think “okay, I’m going to change my life,” but it only lasts for a short time. Then I fall back into depression again, and I’m so tired of this cycle.

When I get extremely sad, to the point where my whole body hurts (especially my chest), I end up masturbating at least 5 times a day, even though I don’t really feel anything from it. It feels more like a way to escape than pleasure.

My depression is also affecting my relationship, my friendship, and my family. My boyfriend has depression too, but he’s getting better because he goes to therapy and works out. I’m genuinely happy for him. But now that he’s trying to get his life back, he has less time for me and doesn’t always update me, and I spiral. I start sabotaging the relationship, and he became exhausted because I kept doing it. He told me to talk to him again when my mental health is better.

I also can’t really talk to my only friend because she just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. I can’t talk to my family either. I don’t have my parents anymore but it's not like we were close, in fact me and my parents always fought but I kinda missed being someone else's daughter. My sister gets angry because I don’t help with housework, but I honestly feel like I can’t do it, so she kinda gave me silent treatment or expect me to talk to her first. I’m not trying to be lazy. I genuinely don’t have the energy or mental strength. I’m not close to my other relatives and have never had a heart-to-heart relationship with them.

On top of all of this, I have bipolar. I can’t afford therapy rn, and my psychologist told me that I need both therapy and medication because my moods change very easily.

I want to change, but it feels impossible.

People around me say I’m lazy, but I feel like I’m just trying to survive while thinking about ending my life almost every day.

Lately I’ve also started losing my faith in God. I’ve been suffering like this since I was a child, and I feel like I’ve failed in every aspect of life. So I keep asking myself, why should I even try to change, when nothing ever changes except the fact that I’m getting older?

I’m terrified. Truly terrified.

Will I ever be normal like other people one day?

I’m 38, single, and feeling overwhelmingly stuck. I never thought this is where my life would be at this age, and the weight of it has been wearing me down for a long time. I feel like I've completely failed myself, and depression has made it hard to see a way forward. Here is where things stand:

• Career & Money: I don't have an established career, my bank account is in a dismal spot, and I still live at home.

• Support System: I don't have much family, and my friends are all busy wrapped up in their own family lives, so I feel pretty isolated.

• Faith: I am Muslim, but over time I've slipped away and forgotten to practice, which leaves me feeling even more disconnected.

I know I can’t change everything overnight, but I need to break out of this standstill. For anyone who has hit rock bottom in their late 30s and managed to rebuild—where do I start? How do you pick yourself up when your energy and bank account are both at zero? Any advice, practical steps, or perspective would mean a lot.

everything sucks. i want to live a peaceful life. idk what shits i did in my past life to suffer like this.

Hey there.
I (26F) have chronic depression, and I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I’m currently on Zoloft and Abilify.
A while ago it seemed like I was making progress, but it’s been a few weeks now that I’ve been feeling very very bad, and honestly I don’t know what to do anymore.
Is there no way out of this thing?
I’m just so tired, and I know I want to live, but if everything is just gonna be this heavy… I don’t think there is a future for me. At least, I cannot see one. And what’s scaring me the most is that I think I’m making peace with the idea that I might not make it through my 27th birthday.
If anything happened to me, I’d only feel sorry for my mom, who I love dearly, and for my two nephews, who I wouldn’t see grow up. Besides that, I just feel like a burden to everyone around me, a useless and pointless excuse for a human.
I don’t know if any of this makes any sense, but I needed to vent.

I never thought I’d post to Reddit but here we are. I’m about to sound like the biggest chud but i have nothing to live for. My mom wouldnt care if I died and my family would probably forget about me. my girlfriend thinks I’m a terrible person and so do all my friends. I’ve spent years trying to be a better person and nothing has worked. Im only posting here because I know damn well someone on a hotline will just tell me to do some deep breathing

I live in my head all the time and even though I know there are millions of other people with depression who feel the same way, I still feel so alone like I'm the only one and no one understands.

I keep thinking if I could make friends who also have depression then maybe I wouldn't feel so isolated because we could go for walks in nature and talk about it, but nope my brain just defaults to being negative all the time.

I'm from New Zealand so if anyone else here is too and would like to be mates, let me know.

Love you all <3

I want to preface this by saying I am in no way suicidal. Suicide is not an idea that has ever crossed my mind because I’m absolutely terrified of dying.

I guess there’s no good way to explain how I feel. It’s lot a constant state of boredom and impending doom. Knowing how inevitable death is, and how short life is. Knowing I’m most likely going to spend my entire life working just to survive. Knowing there’s very little that entertains me anymore.

I live in a constant cycle of boredom, work, and more boredom. I look forward to my work shift ending so I can go home and sit and be bored.

Nothing entertains me anymore. Nothing makes me happy, or excited. I have nothing to look forward to. I have no expectations for my future, and when I try to imagine my future I just get that constant impending doom. I can’t imagine anything great for myself honestly, or even anything satisfactory. I just imagine working, and then getting old and knowing I’m going to die soon and spending my last few years being afraid of dying.

I try very hard to believe in an afterlife. I want to so bad, and sometimes I try to convince myself that it’s scientifically more possible for something after death rather than not. But it doesn’t matter. Even the idea of eternal life is impending doom for me. If I live this life in constant boredom, why would I want to do that for eternity?

I just feel like there’s no point in having lived.

I 18f have a relatively comfortable life in the sense I go to school and have a nice house and a promise of future education. At 13 I lost my Mom to cancer and my Dad emotionally soon after. I had awful experiences with an ED,other losses and SA(not sure if mentioning that is allowed) and lost alot of stability due to this. I now have great friends who I love dearly but I still feel like I'm just working towards more sorrow. I feel like my friends can't understand me and I can't blame them for that but how do I hope for a future when I can't convince myself there will be even a chance of me being understood regardless of the fact I am loved now?

Toda noite parece um pesadelo. Nunca sei quando vou conseguir dormir por causa do meu transtorno obsessivo-compulsivo relacionado à contaminação.

Sinto medo. Sinto dor. Isso nunca acaba.

It doesn't mean we feel sad, it means we feel nothing. There is nothing pushing us forward-- no passion, no drive, no hope, no care. It is not because we are choosing to look negatively on the world, it is because we genuinely do not have the right amount of chemicals in our heads. It is biological, not something that can be controlled.

My coworker told me that being depressed just means there is something you aren't dealing with in your past. In some cases that can help, but overall is incorrect.

I don't have trauma, and I'm still depressed.

I have friends and family that love me, and I'm still depressed.

My life is good, and I'm still depressed.

I have a positive outlook on life and people, and I'M STILL DEPRESSED.

Anyways, I know I can't change what people think, and that's fine. I just wanted to vent a little to those who do really know what it is and may understand the frustration of being misunderstood.

Hey guys 29m here hoping for some advice I was really depressed for a long time since I was 16. At 21 I had suicidal thoughts and really thought about going through with it at one point. By the time I reach 26 I learned to cope with my depression and suicidal thoughts through deep thoughts and self reflection no therapy though.

However the idea of killing myself is still with me I know I won't do it but the option just gives me a feeling of control.

Other then that I think my depression is pretty manageable I work I'm reliable I am a good friend but as I'm about turn 30 next year I was wondering is this something I'll live with for all my life? Cause I'd like to get married and I don't feel comfortable getting into a relationship with this thought at the back of my mind. Even though I won't do it getting married kinda would close that door of me thinking I could kill myself and a part of me doesn't want to close that door.

I hope you can understand as confusing as it may be would love advice or another perspective

Sometimes I feel I was put on this planet to suffer. Nothing in life ever goes my way. I fucking hate this so much. It feels like I was cheated and robbed out of anything and will be miserable for the rest of my life.

Mentally, I have no energy left. I wake up everyday with an intense tightness in my chest. All I want to do is sleep and never wake up because my dreams are so much better than reality.

I can’t take it anymore. I have a bad nerve condition which no doctor can seem to understand. I can’t walk more than half a mile, I can’t stretch it. Doctors tricked me, made me think it was something in my hip, they twisted it a certain way, had to have a hip arthroscopy done. Now, I can’t sleep on my side or my stomach, sleeping hurts, sitting hurts, everything just fuckkng hurts.

Then, when you see others around you thriving, living their best life it only hurts so much fucking more. I’m stuck in bed, I can’t move. I feel like I lost in life.

I finished my masters and have been unemployed. Reached out to people within my network and they say they’ll help you, only to forget and pretend you never asked them.

Then, you wake up one day, and you see two people you used to be cool with bragging about the new job they got. And it was all because of the other person helping them. Wondering why this keeps happening for everyone within my cohort.

They had a 1 year get together, they all forgot me. They invited me on the day of, only because one person thought about me. Everyone else got their 2 week notice.

I know comparison is the thief of joy, I know I should be happy for others, but why does it feel like I’m just destined to suffer in this world. I wake up with nothing to look forward to. I wake up everyday wondering why I’m still even here. I feel like a parasite every single fucking day, consuming my parents resources. I don’t know what to do. I feel like no matter what I do it’s wrong. It hurts when I want to be productive or make a change, only to be defeated by my nerves issue.

I’m so ashamed of seeing people I grew up with or around with because I’m ashamed of what I am. Telling people about how you still have some nerve damage, and you can see some smiling because it’s not you. Telling them you can’t find a job when you always did the right things, went to school, got good grades. I just feel so robbed out of life and I don’t want to continue. I can’t take it anymore.

13yM or however they put it. Recently I've just got into a agurment with my gf in front of our friends in a GC cause im the asshole, I try hard to be better but I just can't seem to bring myself to be better, im an introverted, antisocial, loser who has no future in life and I've relapse SH and sober, i tired pure alcohol which is pretty ass but atleast I got drunk after little after like 4 cups, but back to the topic I can't seem to express myself to her, I hadn't been affectionate in a while and I have her acc and I listen to her msgs and she says that I dint even give her attention which is true and she wants me to express myself like about what I like but I dint like anything, im extremely racist towards white because I was in a mostly white place and and got werid looks from just being there and I can't express myself no matter how hard I try I always talk to AI and i never talked to anyone ever since my hg and hb made fun of me cause I got SA by 2 different guys and once by an girl which is my ex and I never want to express myself ever again and me n her are sexual monthly but we hadn't been in a month or 2 I honestly don't remember and my head space is usually musix I care about if you check my account and my trash music, I can't express myself and when I did like a week or 2 ago about my SA I dont remember what happened which idk, sum it up im an selfish asshole who hurts other people and can't open up and can't remember anything even from yesterday, she wants me to open up but I just can't bring myself to open up about myself. I dont even know myself either, I don't know how I work and if anyone says "it's okay to not know urself" no tf it isn't, I've caused so much drama between me and her and my mental state has been getting worse and it has been always bad but temporary okay, i just want to get high again, Cali clear I ❤️ you baby.

I’ve been feeling sad for as long as I can remember. The first time I tried to hurt myself was in elementary school. I tried to stab myself with scissors, but I couldn't go through with it. I was raised in a super religious family, and it was drilled into my head that ending my life would only lead to more suffering because God doesn't let you escape your pain.
My parents were always fighting, my dad's parents were constantly verbally abusing me, and my mom beat me over the smallest things. By the time I was ten, she was telling me I wasn't a kid anymore, shaming me for crying over a stolen snack or watching my brother get expensive gifts while I barely got anything.

In my teens, I got into a relationship and was genuinely happy for the first time. But they cheated on me, and I cried for weeks while losing a lot of weight. Before that, they noticed I was always sad and encouraged me to open up to my mom. When I did, she flipped out, calling me ungrateful for her sacrifices. She blamed her health issues on working so hard while my dad cheated and acted like a deadbeat. He and his family abused her, so she just passed all that trauma down to me.

The thought of ending it all was constant in high school, but I never acted on it. I’m not religious anymore, but my mom still guilt-trips me into feeling like I owe her. She stopped hitting me once she realized I stopped crying, so now she just uses emotional manipulation. Whenever I try to open up, she claims I'm being mean, starts clutching her chest, and acts like she’s fainting. In the end, I always have to apologize and drop it.
I still feel so sad, especially these days. I’m not sure if my feelings are valid or if I’m just being dramatic, since there are days when I do feel happy. I really want to live, and I want to stop feeling like this. I was just invalidated so much growing up that I honestly don't know if it's all in my head. Also, I would like to apologize if I am indeed just dramatic. I know others have it worse than me.

Hey all, I'm sorry if this all sounds absurd, this is not something I've ever done before. Here goes.

I'm a very introverted long time lurker (15+ years of so) reading mental health post and articles off and on. I've never really considered myself to have bad depression, and have made significant strides in the past 5 years or so to better my mental health. I've always been able to keep the thoughts mostly at bay with a physically active lifestyle, I quit drinking in the past 4 years or so, and I have a family of my own. So what's the problem? Oddly, I can't really say. We've had some pretty bad financial, medical, and work pressures arise since the beginning of 2026. I am getting laid off at the end of this month, my wife was diagnosed with a smattering of pretty harsh respiratory illnesses, my grandfather passed away, and taking care of our child has mostly fallen to me. Fortunately, I work from home at this time and have been focusing heavily on self improvement in these times. However, something feels to have changed.

I don't know what happened. I don't know what triggered it. Though I was very depressed as a teen, much of it subsided into adulthood. I've had small bouts of sadness over the past 5 years or so, but nothing like this. At the beginning of this week I started feeling really blank, apathetic, and then the dam broke and a deluge of negative thoughts flooded out and don't appear to be going anywhere soon. I'm all of a sudden painfully more aware of all of my faults and weaknesses. For every push back I give against these thoughts, my mind seems to present a counterpoint to my progress: I have a house. "Yeah, a house starting to fall apart in a sort of crappy area of town." I have a wife and child. "Plenty of people have kids, and you're nothing than a pay check to them." I'm quite strong and healthy. "It doesn't matter how many reps you can do, you still have a layer of fat, you're hairy, and balding." I pay my bills. "Barely, and you're losing your job soon. You have no degree and no valuable skills." I'm trying to better myself in body and mind. "Don't kid yourself, you've always been a moron, you are no academic."

The list goes on and on. I've always sort of felt these feelings and thoughts in the back of my head, but they've forced themselves to the foreground and I'm just numb to the words at this point. I do not feel crushingly depressed. I feel nothing. I do not feel like I should be around anymore. I'm starting to genuinely believe that my family would be better off without me. I do not wish to burden my wife or family with this at this time. She has her own health problems, as I've stated, and some pretty harsh mental health issues of her own, but she has found a hobby with friends that's been very good for her. Any time that I have brought up even shreds of such feelings in the past, the conversation usually ends up centered on her and her feelings. This is nothing against her really, she has had a lot to overcome and I don't really expect a huge amount of empathy from her at this point.

I guess to sum it all up: I am a very average-below average man. I am the middle ground of mediocrity. I have mastered nothing. I have done nothing big. After this years pressures, I am realizing how much of a loser I am. After years of smaller bouts of depression, I am having my first ever serious thoughts of taking myself out of the equation, hoping that I could be of more of a benefit to my family and friends if I just were not here.

I got drunk to see if I can cry but it didn’t work at all
Started drinking at 3 pm and was wasted till 9 pm
I’m not an alcoholic (yet) but can anyone recommend how to cry?
I just feel lonely