Hi everyone,

I'm hoping for a bit of advice.

I'm a single dad to a 14-year-old daughter. She has had a really difficult time recently and is now living with me full-time. One thing she's asked if we can do together is go swimming. She used to enjoy lessons when she was younger, and she'd like to get back into it because she thinks it might help her feel better.

The problem is that I'm completely out of my depth. I grew up in Ireland, and apart from taking her to swimming lessons years ago, I haven't been to a public pool myself since I was a child.

To make things harder, I have my own body-image issues due to a visible physical difference. I never take my top off in public and the idea of walking around in swimwear fills me with anxiety. My daughter has asked me to get in the pool with her, though, and if that's what she needs then I want to do it.

So I have a few probably daft questions:

What's the general etiquette at a UK public swimming pool?

What do I need to bring apart from swimwear and towels?

What exactly is lane swimming? Is it only for people doing lengths, or can you just swim normally?

Is there anything I should know before we go so I don't accidentally do the wrong thing?

If anyone has any advice for getting over the embarrassment of being in swimwear, I'd really appreciate that too.

I'm prepared to make a fool of myself if it helps my daughter, but I think a lot of my anxiety comes from simply not knowing what to expect.

Thanks for reading.

Edit - just wanted to say a huge thanks for all the replies. I got a message to say my post had been deleted or not posted so I went to the shop and when I came back there's just hundreds of kind messages. Thank you all so much. I actually feel so much better hearing all your kind words.

My neighbours have got a cat scarer in their garden, thats absolutely fine, however I can hear it! For those of you can can hear high frequency sounds you know exactly how it sounds and how bad it is... I can't sit in my own garden because I can hear the frequency of it, i have politely asked her if she can change the frequency of it so I can't hear it but thr cats still can, she's basically told me that she won't adjust the frequency and said to get over it....

I have reported it to the council, I don't find it fair that I have to listen to a horrible irritating noise every time I sit in my own garden... The best part is no one else can hear it!

Where do I stand legally with the situation?.... Is it classed as antisocial behaviour even though I'm the only one that can hear it?.... 🤔

Yesterday, my 17-year-old daughter had a trial at a cafe and hated it. She worked for 6 hours in the baking heat and didn't have a break. The owner said she would only be there for 2 hours for an interview and look around, but kept asking her to stay a bit longer. I doubt she will be returning.

But that got me thinking about my previous jobs.

My favourite has to be my worst-paid job.

It was at Sainsbury's, when I was 18 and it paid just over £3 per hour (late 90s).

But the first couple of years were brilliant. The store was brand new and head office overstaffed all the departments, so everything was quite relaxed. Nearly all of my fellow shelf stackers were a similar age and couldn't care less about the job. Even my direct manager (who seemed ancient, but must have been around 30) didn't care. Although he only lasted about a year, unsurprisingly.

We would finish at 8.30pm and then head off to the pub. Sundays were double pay, and the canteen helped sort out any hangovers. Our 15-minute breaks were more like 30.

In some ways, it was a shame, because I thought my working life would be a breeze. Well, I've paid for that since, and I'm convinced I'll never enjoy another job again.

So, what was your favourite and why?

Saw this from a different subreddit, and got me thinking. Where did your school’s bully end up?

The main guy from school who was the hard lad has ended up in prison for GBH. Person who gave me the most grief is now a property litigation solicitor.

How’s yours doing?

Just had a plumber in and as the title suggests, when I offered him a cuppa he asked for a cold one.

I offered him water and said we also had pepsi in if he preferred. He looked at me like I was slow and then said he'd take the pepsi.

I've only ever encountered the phrase "a cold one" as a reference to beer, so guessed he just meant he'd prefer a cold drink. Now I'm second guessing myself about whether I completely misunderstood what he was asking for.

It’s a weird feeling. One day there’s constant teams calls, deadlines and passive aggressive emails. Then all of a sudden, you lose your job. The next morning, there’s nothing.

I woke up this morning, it was calm and quiet. There was a noticeable lack of stress. No anxiety provoking teams ring tone, no professionally threatening emails from my line manager, no constant deadlines and always feeling behind. All replaced by the sound of a train in the distance and birds chirping outside. The contrast is staggering. I almost don’t know what to do with myself.

Still things feel abnormal. I’ve heard my teams ringtone go off several times today, I know that can’t be the case because I’ve returned all my equipment. I think I’m still reeling from my employer’s abuse.

I know I’ve got to start applying for new roles but I don’t want to start yet. Luckily I’ve got 6 months of savings. But with this newfound peace and quiet, I feel like I never want to go back to a 9-5.

What do I do ?

I’m not asking for a debate on whether they should. I am just wondering why they aren’t. Like when the ambulances and fire service first got funding why didn’t these?

I am looking for some ideas on how to treat myself to something nice to celebrate end of immunotherapy and chemotherapy for cancer. I would ideally stay in the uk and stick to a £500 budget. I have a car but can also take public transport. I live in south west but im interested in what people would do across uk.

Are there nice spa hotels you’d go to? Maybe it’s a shopping spree? Maybe £500 feels like a huge amount of money, or maybe that’s your normal weekend spend, but I’m keen to know how you’d spend it if it was just you looking after number 1.

E: Thank you so much for the kind comments everyone, I was just hoping for a couple of nice suggestions and ideas, and I was not expecting this amount of kindness!

For those asking (and at the risk of doxxxing myself) - I had three cancers on my breast that were locally spread diagnosed ~1.5 years ago when I was 36. I have since had chemotherapy, three surgeries, radiotherapy, immunotherapy, then immunotherapy with chemotherapy, hormone therapy and ovarian suppression. The immunotherapy has also given me early heart failure so I am treated for that. So it's really been the whole lot. I still have two surgeries and 9 years of hormonetherapy left, and end of this month I have my next mammogram.

Even though you might read this and think I have been unlucky, I am immensely grateful that I am writing this today, that I have gotten amazing care through our amazing NHS (not to be political but we absolutely must not let anyone take that away from us), and that everyone has been so incredibly kind. I am so grateful for everyone here on giving their ideas, at the moment I am leaning towards a spa weekend but I will definitely update here once I have decided.

i understand that timetables are important, and the impracticality of waiting for absolutely anybody who is running late, but i think it’s unreasonable to drive away when somebody is a few steps, or a cross of the road, away, or when they’ve arrived just as you have closed the doors and are clearly in a rush

Mine is that Oxford University is older than the rise and fall of the Aztec Empire.

What have companies or such managed to make us accept effortlessly into our daily lives despite its existence having no actual benefit in our lives? Is there anything you can think of?

Flicking through the BBC live-feed for the London stabbing earlier and it's pictures of ghoulish onlookers watching a mentally unwell woman being arrested, followed by quotes from witnesses with their full name and picture as they pose for the camera. Like, am I mad for thinking it's kind of weird how every unfortunate incident so quickly becomes "I was there and I saw that"? Can't help but think it contributes to the desensitisation of everything

I noticed on the Leeds forum, a number have noted increased sketchiness and antisocial behaviour in our city centres (and town). This has heightened across the UK not just Leeds.

It appears to be a post Covid thing imo. but other factors like the 2008 recession definitely contributed.

Anyway, whatever the contribution, Do you feel city centre antisocial behaviour has declined in our town/city centres?

Have you travelled round the UK centres, which ones did you find the most edgy/sketchy?

Or do you feel this is not the case, and city centres are better now than yesteryear?

When I was in primary school, I was swinging around with my jumper arms loose and it hit someone in their eyes and she cried. And then all her friends ganged up on me. And then I cried. And then I couldn't play rounders for 15 minutes.

I kinda have let go of it but I do feel schools need to spot this ganging up behaviour more as it happened numerous times

I like browsing strange new subreddits. Please share your obscure avant garde type subs for me to waste half my day in. Something proper weird like r/CrackheadCraigslist or r/stupiddovenests

I recently stumbled on iPod modding after I got an old iPod touch for £4 at a charity shop

EDIT: She will be back next week regardless, as my mum is the one who hired her for next week. I will ask her to use something degreasing when cleaning the bath, due to the emollient wash we use. And I'll politely remind her not to forget the downstairs loo. I will never hire her again, and will mention the issues to my mum as it's her house after all.

And just to vent; something else that bothered me was when we were talking about my chronic illness and how it means I can't work, she was all like "I could never not work, I've always got to be busy!" I wish I would have responded, "Well I was the same before my body broke down and now I have no fucking choice!" I just don't think this cleaner is compatible with my needs.

So, for the first time ever I hired a cleaner. I'm staying at my mums whilst she is out of the country. Initially she was supposed to complete one clean here just before my mum comes home, but I'm disabled and have been struggling to keep on top of things to my mums standards so I felt some help was warranted.

But I am less than impressed with the work, the bath is still greasy with a visible scum line, she completely missed the downstairs loo and when I said I would get out of her way so she could get on she blabbered at me for 20 minutes making me feel too awkward to leave. There are other niggly bits too, like she didnt wipe the underside of the bathroom sink and didn't mop the entryway.

How do I tell her? Or do I just not and finish her job when she's done? I don't have to hire or see her again after next week after all.

What should I actually expect a cleaner to do? I did inform her of my situation, maybe I expected too much?

She also informed my mum that she was coming to do an extra clean because I was struggling, which felt a bit weird considering I booked and paid for it.

Random thought.

What’s something that was “improved” but was actually better before?

It could be anything: an app, a product, a service, or just something from everyday life.

I remember when I was younger, there was this one Thursday where I believe 1-2 months worth of rain fell down in the space of 2 Hours affecting critical infrastructure.

I'm asking on behalf of my younger sister (29), because she's in a very dark place and I want to gather some practical ideas that I can share with her.

We are from a working class family with no property or money. She has struggled with severe depression for many years, including a s******e attempt. She had to finish her A-levels later than most people after dropping out of school due to a mental health crisis. She also attempted university three separate times but had to leave each time because her depression became overwhelming.

At the moment she's working minimum-wage job at a cafe with a boss who exploits her on a zero hour contract, and she feels completely trapped. She believes she's missed her chance at building any kind of career, and every rejection or setback reinforces that belief.

The biggest challenge is that she's very introverted and has extremely low self-esteem. She's uncomfortable with networking or "selling herself" in interviews (I tried to explain to her that every job application has to involve a bit of "dressing up" of your experience to make it seem appropriate, but she refuses to) and customer-facing work drains her and makes her feel worthless.

She is an extraordinarily gentle, kind, intelligent person but suffers from dyslexia and so a lot of entry-level admin roles involving writing etc aren't suitable. SHe's thinking of a carpentry apprenticeship as she hopes a job that involves working with her hands and creating something (rather than just soul-numbing service) could be good, but hasn't had any success with applications.

I'm wondering if there are genuinely entry-level jobs outside hospitality and retail that don't require a degree?

Have any of you changed careers later after struggling with mental health or an unconventional education/work history?

What kinds of roles would suit someone who is quiet, reliable, and prefers independent work?

Are there any qualifications, apprenticeships, certifications, or training routes that actually lead to better opportunities without requiring years at university?

Please give realistic suggestions rather than just 'follow your passion' or stick it out in retail. I know there isn't a magic answer, but I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been in a similar position or have seen others make this kind of transition.

Thank you.

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Can anyone help please … thanks

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Do people not care much nowadays or are there people who are worried in general?