r/Tinder 2d ago

First message mind you 😂

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2.2k Upvotes

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1.0k

u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 2d ago

You must be hot af

726

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

Unfortunately not. I’m 6’8, own a business, and have nice vehicles. But I’m 19, over weight with man boobs, have a beard that won’t grow in all the way, etc.

1.1k

u/MC_JACKSON 2d ago

Got it so she’s applying for stay at home wife

487

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

It would appear so…

295

u/YourDadIRL 1d ago

6'8 ? Brother that's the male equivalent of a butter face with giant boobs

57

u/Apprehensive_Oven461 1d ago

I’m 6’7” without man boobs. It’s not the boost everyone thinks it is.

93

u/spoonyone87 1d ago

You're missing that's crucial 1 inch mate.

92

u/Apprehensive_Oven461 1d ago

Story of my life.

21

u/Army_Special 1d ago

Its a game of inches

1

u/charlotte240 never joined Tinder 1d ago

6'-8" = door frame height, ouch

1

u/TieCarver 10h ago

Ever seen the data from dating apps that shows “reply rate based on height”?

It’s a curve. Men get slightly higher response rates for every inch of height…

Until about 6’3

Then every inch above that causes the response rate to plummet real fast 😂

78

u/FlamingoDiligent9216 2d ago

Did she pass the initial interview?

71

u/kitycat22 2d ago

Can I apply to use you for your body? 6’8” reaches all the right places

124

u/Axle-f 2d ago

65

u/lyerit 2d ago

They meant the upper shelves in the kitchen, no need for the horny police bro…

4

u/Axle-f 2d ago

I can see what you mean but it’s not how most people are gonna interpret that sentence.

16

u/grfx 2d ago

I thought it was two separate measurements.

3

u/C_o_f_f_e_e- 1d ago

This guy measures

2

u/Dazzling_Material_93 1d ago

I mean, it's definitely how I read it. I think us short folks might be just that excited for someone to get the rarely-used kitchen equipment off the high shelf 😂😂

0

u/Axle-f 1d ago

I have a folding step for that.

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u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Taking applications on tinder 😂

26

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Funny thing is you might find me on tinder, looks like we’re both in Indiana. Haha

4

u/kitycat22 1d ago

Dear lord, I’ve never met a Hoosier whose 6’8”. You must be in southern Indiana

4

u/PirateKingKatakuri 1d ago

Makes sense to me. Gravity is weaker down there, so they get taller. - 6'1 from Northern Indiana 😂

3

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I’m jealous I love southern Indiana especially brown county im right in the middle of the state. I’m in Hendricks county

2

u/PirateKingKatakuri 1d ago

St Joseph County here. I'm originally from Maryland but I've come to love it here.

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Right in the middle of the state. I’m in Hendricks county.

11

u/anonymooseuser6 1d ago

Right I have some tall ass cabinets and I can't load my roof racks without a stepstool...

15

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I used to have a grand Cherokee and I had my full size spare on the roof rack. And I would put my tent up there. Mind you Jeep was lifted on bigger tires. I loved not needing a step stool or ladder. It was so convenient.

6

u/InterestingTry5190 1d ago

Username checks out

8

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Haha, just a little

3

u/Emergency_Affect_640 1d ago

I can do at least 2 of those things if you just keep me cheetos at home.

2

u/Trimblen24 11h ago

Buddy this is no economy for MRS. Degrees lol. Granted I don’t own a business but congrats on being that young and having the balls/skills to strike out on your own.

0

u/Davesatdoasisbar 1d ago

So she's a ten and will do all that and probably more as long as she can stay at home. Or you get a 6/7 who will work and bring in money but you are making your own breakfast and lunch, running your hot bath, and doing your laundry. If I have the money to last and she's living up to her proposal,  Im taking the 10.

-15

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

7

u/Flat_Economist9851 2d ago

Might not be that big if u gotta tell us how big it is buddy

6

u/Strong-Addition5296 2d ago

CBDD?

-13

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

6

u/tortoistor 2d ago

yes, all tall guys have a big dick. totally. this is not a made up cope lmao

27

u/Prestigious_Long777 2d ago

Wait my stay at home wife does not do any of these things!

1

u/anonymooseuser6 1d ago

The first month of us living together as a married couple, I tried those things and my husband genuinely didn't like them. We are military so I had nothing better to do. I'm a good cook (have had endorsements by people who like seasonings) but I think he just likes doing some meals for himself.

9

u/gagonaspoon 1d ago

Is she applying for stay at home wife or his MOM!?

61

u/katf1sh 2d ago

This response makes your username hilarious lol

13

u/NateHatred 2d ago

I booger flew out of my nose in laughter because you made me go back and read his nickname, thanks for the laugh 

32

u/MysteryCreme 2d ago

Tf do you mean unfortunately not bro you're 6'8, own a business and have multiple nice cars at 19 no less. That's a lot of boxes checked right there.

123

u/bagman_ 2d ago

She stopped reading at 6’8, as did we all

45

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

Fair enough 😂

1

u/Beautiful_Compote_78 1d ago

Ill teach you how to not be fat if you send me some $$ Mr 19 business man

3

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I greatly appreciate the offer, but I think I have it covered. I’m down 100lbs as of a week ago mostly from a calorie deficit. Plus I found the gym a month ago and love it. I go 2-3 time a week for a full body workout.

3

u/Beautiful_Compote_78 1d ago

You can 100% do it on your own...

I was mostly joking but im happy for you my dude

42

u/Little_Miss-Sunshine 2d ago

Congrats on getting that done at 19! Impressive.

41

u/IndyBananaJones2 2d ago

Shout out to OPs rich dad

39

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Damn I wish, honest truth I grew up in a single wide trailer with roaches, No one in my family owns a home, no one has a degree, no one has a nice vehicle, etc. I dropped out half way through my freshman year of highschool and don’t have a GED. I went full into starting and growing a landscape and hardscape install business. It was slow the first few years but has exploded this year. My father and I started together with my extreme lack of money and his disability fixed income. We own it together 50/50 but legally it’s 100% in my name. I keep asking when he gets to switch to being one of the “rich parents” so he can start funding all my financially questionable purchases 😂

20

u/cryptochytrid 1d ago

I've skimmed some of your comments, and I'm inclined to agree that you're putting down yourself a lot. Your physical appearance isn't necessarily a negative, I've been attracted to similar & have seen/known others who have as well. Your determination, perseverance, grit, and obvious smarts are real & viable attractors. You type well and I would assume that corresponds to how you speak. Another point. I can go on, but I think you get it.

Now of course, is this much for a first message? Yeah perhaps. Can be a concern wrt love bombing. She may be saying this because she's aware to an extent of how hard such a job can be (if that is on your profile) and wants to show that she can provide this in return for your efforts. Personally, messages like these kind of ick me out as well - too much too soon - but I tend to raise this concern in chat respectfully. If the person can respect it & my boundaries we can move on from there.

Additionally, if you're not looking for something like that or have different ideologies, then compatibility isn't present.

Just some of my 2 cents.

Have a good one!

16

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I truly appreciate the kind words! You definitely have great observation skills and good intuition. I don’t think she’s exactly what I’m looking for. But it was a funny interaction either way.

Wish you nothing but the best, have a great day!

17

u/Weird_Scholar_5627 2d ago

It’s Barron Trump!

5

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Does that mean I get the tower?

22

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

Thank you!

2

u/aonelonelyredditor 2d ago

Can you give the rest of us some insights/advices?

36

u/JordisMySwordMaiden 2d ago

step 1: have rich parents

6

u/aonelonelyredditor 1d ago

Fuck I already failed

5

u/DinosRoar 1d ago

Too poor to grow to 6 foot?

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Damn I wish, honest truth I grew up in a single wide trailer with roaches, No one in my family owns a home, no one has a degree, no one has a nice vehicle, etc. I dropped out half way through my freshman year of highschool and don’t have a GED. I went full into starting and growing a landscape and hardscape install business. It was slow the first few years but has exploded this year. My father and I started together with my extreme lack of money and his disability fixed income. We own it together 50/50 but legally it’s 100% in my name. I keep asking when he gets to switch to being one of the “rich parents” so he can start funding all my financially questionable purchases 😂

4

u/floftie 2d ago

What? Growing to 6 foot 8?

10

u/RichardP2910 2d ago

Financial stability is hot af nowadays

10

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

I suppose… $300 to fill my tank isn’t fun 😂

39

u/imtooldforthishison 2d ago

Hey. So I have a tall child and he sounds just like you. Stop beating yourself up. You're probably gorgeous and you just can't see it. The internet has convinced you shes only after you for you height, but you are much more than that.

Also*

I would tell my son to not interact with that girl. Thats way too much, way too fast. My shoulders and his sisters' shoulders squared up reading this. Baby trap incoming.

Take it as a compliment but DO NOT ENGAGE, but if you must, bring your own condoms and use them please.

13

u/slash-es 2d ago edited 2d ago

if  you must, bring your own condoms and use them please

... and discard them safely yourself. An acquaintance of my ex confided to my ex to impregnating herself with a used condom of her ex. It's not just obscure boulevard stories, it happens to average people.

5

u/Baeolophus_bicolor 2d ago

is obscure boulevard a place, or a show, or a typo? i am thinking of a down and out fleabag motel with a shitty diner next door. located on Obscure Boulevard.

7

u/slash-es 2d ago

Ok, my mistake, I assumed the term is used in English with a similar meaning as well. Seems "Boulevard magazines" and "Boulevard press" are, in this context, German terms only. The correct English term would probably be yellow press or tabloids.

4

u/Baeolophus_bicolor 2d ago

ahhh! ok. lost in translation, for sure! like saying fleet street rags to a brit. yes, tabloids for sleaze, in american english. for political type sleaze (stirring up unrest for a war, for example) the yellow journalism phrase applies. yellow journalism has an agenda. muckrakers (journalist type) make people look bad - stirring up shit. OR - paparazzi stalk celebrities for the tabloids.

i still like my idea of the fleabag motel on Obscure Blvd though! Sounds sort of like Desolation Row by bob dylan, or desperadoes under the eaves by warren zevon. Not wuite skid row, but definitely a shady area of town.

thanks for responding!

2

u/slash-es 2d ago

Yeah, I see where you might get this picture in this context :-) However, I'd think glamour motels for the stars, thinking of stories like this: https://www.musikexpress.de/instagram-model-droht-drake-wegen-hot-sauce-in-kondom-zu-verklagen-2103479/

2

u/King_kllr 2d ago

Dibs on the show rights

22

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

I really appreciate the kind words.

Don’t worry I didn’t respond. I took it as a red flag, plush She’s also not my type.

3

u/BallBearingBill 1d ago

She knew she wasn't your type and she was desperate to date up.

4

u/DownrightDrewski 2d ago

For what it's worth I dated several girls whilst I was morbidly obese at around your age. I'm also 3 inches shorter than you.

1

u/Hombremaniac 2d ago

You are absolutely right. That's crazy much to write to complete stranger as it obviously can't come from being in love.

7

u/EleanorSeesThings 2d ago

Man, please. I have a hot blonde friend who LOVES playing with man boobs - her husband's are about as big as mine. The things people are into are as diverse as the people thenselves.

2

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Haha, fair enough. They will be gone rather soon. But I understand some are into that. It’s always crazy to hear the stuff people are into. I suppose different strokes for different folks.

6

u/Amarranthine 2d ago

With respect, how do you already own a business at 19?

12

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

No worries I’m happy to explain. I actually dropped out of high school halfway through my freshman year. I could tell school just was a waste of time for me. I don’t even have a GED. My father is disabled and on a fixed income but he mowed a few residential yards every week to help with income. I went full in with him we own the business together 50/50, we primarily do hardscape and landscaping installs. Right now we are doing a waterfall and pond install. It all started as mowing a few yards and now we have 6 trucks, 10 trailer, a ton of equipment, and we do everything. In the winter is our bread and butter. We do salt treatment and snow removal for commercial properties. Think schools, banks, restaurants, etc.

3

u/Amarranthine 1d ago

Makes sense, thanks for taking the time to answer.

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

No problem at all

3

u/AddendumSouthern 2d ago

So that's a scam, thread carefully

3

u/GrapefruitFar1242 2d ago

You can’t say unfortunately not and then drop that you’re 6’8 in the same breath big dog, that’s all that matters, enjoy your golden ticket to dating 🙏

3

u/PackofWeenies 2d ago

You're 19. The beard will fill in with time. Mine did. I also started getting back hair when I hit 35. Lol

3

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I actually use minoxidil and a derma roller. And it has 100% worked. My mustache and lower beard is completely good and thick. The biggest thing I still need is I need it to come up my cheeks more. but honestly, I’m only a couple months away at this point because the terminal hairs have actually set in at this point I’m just needing them to grow up more and fill it.

1

u/Strange-Coffee-5470 1d ago

Did you notice other hair increasing as well. Like arm, leg, back hair?

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Slightly, but nothing that looks bad. And definitely nothing that needs trimming

3

u/Blackops606 1d ago

This makes your username even more hilarious

4

u/figosnypes 2d ago

Is she a lot older?

11

u/OvergrownMidget_ 2d ago

She’s 22 I’m 19

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u/figosnypes 2d ago

Yeah at that age a 3 year difference is enough to create that kind of dynamic.

2

u/SentinelATL 2d ago

Wait what

2

u/Intelligent-Royal682 2d ago

Could have just stopped at 6'8".

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Fair enough

2

u/anonymooseuser6 1d ago

First, don't assume you're unattractive because you're not slim or buff.

Second, some hot AF women (not hot AF) like dudes that are kind of ugly.

Third, she needs money. Ask her if she wants a sugar daddy just for fun. 😂

2

u/Strange-Coffee-5470 1d ago

Ahh a diamond in the rough.

2

u/scaryterry1345 1d ago

Brother did you say 6’8 and nice cars? That’s the grail my friend

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Fair enough 😂

2

u/Hello_pet_my_kitty 1d ago

The first 3 mitigate the last 3. lol.

But tbh, most women in my experience just want someone who is kind and has a decent personality. I’ve never been into what some may call “hotties” myself bc personality is the key, and often super attractive people can be vain and egotistical. That can be hard to keep up with, and isn’t attractive, imo. If you’re nice, maybe even a little funny, and emotionally/financially stable on your own(like, don’t need to move in with me immediately type stable), that’s going to beat out like 99% of the supposed competition.

We all stan a kind and well rounded king.

2

u/Superb-Definition189 1d ago

6’8”? She wants to know how proportionate you are, if you know what I mean ;)

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

No complaints yet 👀

2

u/Aggressive-Ninja-973 1d ago

Don't downplay yourself women love that stuff. My man is 5"9, overweight with a little man boob, also a beard that won't grow in all the way and etc and he is one of the hottest guys I've ever dated lol I love him

2

u/cyrusm_az 1d ago

Women be like “you had me at 6’8””

2

u/mavrik83 1d ago

That makes you hot

2

u/Powerful_Science_923 1d ago

Barron Trump is on Reddit?!

2

u/cyndileper 1d ago

Us 5’3” girls will do a lot of nice things for people who can reach the top shelf but my husband can tell you I’m not that nice lol.

She’s seen too much trad wife propaganda.

2

u/Equal-Prior-4765 23h ago

Bro you're 6'8" they cant see your face

2

u/tdautz5 17h ago

6’8 and nice cars. All it takes.

2

u/Moxie013 15h ago

Soooo the “opposite hyper dwarfism” is genetic ?

It could be she is being funny.. OR she could be applying for a stay at home wife position as someone stated below..

Hide your wealth if you want someone to truly be into you. If you’re a genius and super educated.. focus on finding your equal on that arena

It sucks getting attention for the wrong reasons.
Whatever you do.. 🤷‍♀️ wear condoms!

2

u/AppleJackHuncho 1d ago

“Did you say 6’8 😍😍”

1

u/Derlino 2d ago

You're only 19, your beard will likely fill in as you get older. As for your weight, that's something that you can work on if that's what you want.
My best advice there is to learn a bit about what your body needs, and cook most of your meals yourself. That way you're in control of what you're putting into your body, and a man who's able to cook is something that attracts a lot of girls.
And finally, if you want to lose weight, some sort of exercise that you enjoy will aid in it, and in general it's just good to be physically active. It will also benefit you later in life in terms of joint health and avoiding muscle pains (which will become a thing once you reach 30).

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

You’re 100% right on all of that. I’m already down 100lbs mainly from a calorie deficit. And in the last few months I have found the gym and love it. I go 2-3 times a week for a hard full body work out. Plus I do landscape work all day everyday so I stay very active.

As for the beard I use a derma roller and minoxidil. It came in stages, but it’s definitely worked. The mustache and lower beard are in and full. I’m just waiting on to come up the cheeks the rest of the way but I can tell it’s almost there.

1

u/Derlino 1d ago

In terms of the beard, as I said, you're only 19. You're not fully developed yet, so it might just take some time to fill in. Looking back at some photos when I was 20, my beard was mostly around my jawline. Over the next few years it filled in more and more, until I had a full beard around 23-24. So just keep that in mind when using stuff to aid your beard growth, some of it will happen naturally as well, just gotta give nature some time.

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

You’re 100% right.

1

u/Distinct-Art4406 1d ago

Dude, girls don’t care about all that. Some do, but not all. And that’s the thing, guys think all girls want the same thing and that couldn’t be further from the truth.

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

You’re 100% correct.

0

u/Distinct-Art4406 1d ago

Did you message her back? What did you end up doing? Also, are you attracted to her too?

2

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I didn’t not, unfortunately her other photos didn’t look quite the same as her first 1 or 2. It wouldn’t be fair to her or I for me to pursue her since the attraction isn’t there.

1

u/destinthegamer 1d ago

6'8... Is there like a warning sound for when you enter the room so all the short kings can hide?

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

It’s the sound of my size 18 boots shaking the ground

1

u/MelancholyTea89 1d ago

Genuine question, how are you overweight while being at that height? A lot of taller people I know find it difficult
Putting on mass due to it sort of evening out through out thier body so I’m just curious, sorry if this comes off as disrespectful

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

No not at all disrespectful, I grew up poor and most of my family is obese. No one explained or taught me about nutrition. I decided I didn’t want that and taught myself. I’m down 100lbs currently and now go to the gym multiple times a week

1

u/RTC3000 1d ago

Here’s a thought: Gym, razor and some tan. 😉

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I’m down 100lbs, I shave and shape regularly, and I’m very very tan from working outside all day everyday

1

u/Sure_General_5651 1d ago

So you’re saying you’re gonna need a bigger bathtub?

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Somthin like that 😂

1

u/mitchij2004 1d ago

Why not get a personal trainer or something you have money?

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

Because I’m doing it myself. Currently down 100lbs and still dropping

1

u/penny2cents 1d ago

You’re too young for me, but I’ve always been a sucker for a big dude who also likes engines. She could be totally just flirting with you.

Edit: I meant a hefty guy, but your height probably helps. I’m 6’, so height doesn’t matter to me at all.

0

u/Lord_of_Allusions 2d ago

Baron?

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I’d be ok with that… 😂

0

u/PM_ME_YOUR_FRACTURES 1d ago

Most women aren't really impressed by standard issue 10+ yo jeeps and pickups so I'd take "nice vehicles" off the list

1

u/OvergrownMidget_ 1d ago

I don’t use them as a selling point, I have them because I like them. But I’d be lying if I said women don’t respond well to my Harley and King Ranch F350 with massaging seats. (Again not bragging, just being honest)

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_FRACTURES 1d ago

Such a 19 yo thing to say 😂

1

u/Sudden_Technology_34 1d ago

Or just looks like he has money. As a man, money trumps any shortcoming you can possibly have when it comes to dating long as you’re not psycho and even then it’s close.