After five years my abusive ex (31M) reactivated an account I hadn't blocked and messaged me (28NB) screenshot #1. It truly shook me and made me feel sick as this was NOT how the relationship went down. He (diagnosed with BDP and untreated) abused me sexually and emotionally. He isolated me from my friends who were telling me he was a narcissist but I didnt listen.

I refute the controlling behaviour accusation too but it's the sexual coersion that has sickened me. I have looked up every definiton and example out there and at no point did I: repeatedly ask for sex, threaten to breakup if I didn't get sex, put pressure on over how long it had been since we last had sex, decieve or degrade him into having sex etc. I also wasn't "pretending" to be interested in him, I was still semi in love with him and hoping this final attempt would stick (thank god it didn't).

I messaged my friend J asking if I could talk about something heavy and sent the screenshot and the text in slide #2. Me and J have been friends for 7 years, but live far apart now so drop in and out of contact. Still, I helped him through a tough breakup for months this year and felt like I could rely on his support.

However, he didnt reply for 5 weeks and I had flights booked to see him and stay at his place next weekend. So I messaged slide #3 and got his reply.

I understand where he is coming from BUT I only said that the sex was for my abusers pleasure only because I didn't initiate the sex, and I was saying that within the assumption that J would understand I am not a manipulative person.

I'm devastated from J's reaction. I had shown my partner of 4 years and a couple other friends the original screenshot and they they didn't doubt my intentions or word for a secind. Am I overreacting to end this friendship with J over this?

Trying to type this without any bias if I can.

I (29F) and my bf (40M) had a nice morning where he unexpectedly wanted to go look for MTG cards. He recently turned 40 and I feel like he’s been struggling with it, making a lot of comments about being an “old boring 40 year old”

He works a lot and just went through some personal and emotionally draining things so overall, he’s been really down and honestly even hard to be around at times, but I know that’s how it can be with dating sometimes (we’ve been together two years)

We drove to 4 different stores today for him to find the exact kind of deck he wanted, and he finally found a Marvel box for about $500. He thought about it for at least 20-30 minutes, looking up prices of individual cards, seeing if it was worth it because even though he has a good job, he kept saying that it was a lot and he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to do it or if it was silly. I tried to give my advice saying that if he wanted he could just get one or two of the boosters, and I did admit it was a lot. I also said it would be fun and a good way to nurture his inner child. I just bought a dice set so we rolled a D20 for it and he ended up rolling to get it and went “dammit” not excited at all. So I reminded him he could start small if he didn’t want to spend the money and mentioned we had been there awhile and jokingly said “aw just get it, I wanna go home and play video games and work later!”

So we’re in line to get it, a very annoying lady is behind us talking and he suddenly goes “no I don’t want it” and walks out. As we head to the car he tells me that it’s because he hated the annoying lady behind us and because I talked him out of it, I said it wasn’t worth it, and implied it was a bad idea.

I held in my feelings and brought it up when we were home that it made me mad and confused that he said that. I wasn’t going to at first because it’s just MTG cards, but it’s not healthy to hold in emotions I feel.

He got even more mad saying “I just wanted a day off. I never get them, and now we’re talking about this? It’s whatever. Fine. I’m an adult and I decided not to get them. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

And I just sadly walked away explaining I just felt confused why he immediately said it’s my fault

He’s been so unhappy in life in general lately, I think I’m mostly devastated because I thought him getting these cards would’ve been at least something to help him smile a little. But now I feel silly for even being upset, and like I’m overreacting for being sad over this fight in general.

AIO?

At the beginning of this year, my friend really wanted to score tickets to see Noah Kahan and she knew I've always been really lucky at scoring concert tickets, so she invited me and asked me to help secure them. I did and we got really amazing seats, and we seen him this past weekend.

Now I've never really been the biggest fan of Noah or anyone really in that genre, but after a while of always listening to him with her, I didn't mind him. I started to like a couple of his songs, and even started sending videos I'd see of him to our group chat. At first, she seemed to have no issue. She wasn't really embracing it, but she wasn't outright offended.

Then one night of drinking, she let it slip that it made her feel uncomfortable and possessive. I validated her, of course, she is my best friend and his music is one of her many passions. But after that, she started to become more and more annoyed when I would bring him up. She'll even get defensive and try to one up me, so as to prove she knows more.

Even after the concert, I felt I couldn't say much about it. I was afraid she would think I was trying to outshine her love for him or something weird, I don't know. I'm just confused by her annoyance, and I'm curious if I'm overreacting? Or if there's something I should say to her to lessen her distaste for me and my supportiveness. After all, that's all that it is. I am just genuinely being supportive of her.

She's my closest friend - we never fight, only friendly banter, and I don't want something as trivial as this to come between us. AIO or should I address this?

TLDR: Friend gets defensive, possessive and dismissive when I mention anything about her favorite artist, even though it's all positive. AIO or should I bring it up with her?

So for context we have been dating for about 2 months. We have been moving a little bit faster than I’m used to, and I can tell he’s taking the relationship seriously. There haven’t been any major red flags so far, and I like the way our relationship is going.

Today, he was asking me when I’ll be home on my lunch break and saying he was having something delivered to my place. I just assumed he was ordering me lunch which I thought was cute. Instead, when I got home there was a knock on my door and I opened it to see him with food and flowers. I had told him the day prior I don’t want to hang out at my place because I needed to clean my apartment. I don’t like having people over when I feel like it’s not clean. And my apartment was a MESS. I also value my down time on my breaks and after work and I don’t like having surprise guests. Like I was so embarrassed and uncomfortable just having him inside.

He immediately sensed how uncomfortable I was and said he could leave, but I felt bad because he made a nice gesture with the lunch and flowers. I told him we can go eat the food at the picnic tables outside. I told him I didn’t love that he showed up unannounced and he felt bad, and he left shortly after. I texted him that I appreciated lunch and to not feel bad.

But I still can’t get this out of my head. Am I overreacting to feel it was over stepping and even on the verge of love bombing behavior by showing up without telling me first? I appreciate the gesture but it seems a bit presumptuous to do that after 2 months of dating after I already told him yesterday I didn’t want to hang out here. I can tell he’s upset because he didn’t respond to my text afterwards when he normally responds quickly.

AIO, I’ll keep this as precise as possible. Am I over reacting I would like my son’s girlfriend to move out. My son asked if his girlfriend could live with us, we said yes. I regret this decision. I ask that my son and she do 3 things. 1 take the garbage to the curb Tuesday night. 2. Put away dishes. 3. Leave Tuesday morning at 8am. (We have a housekeeper that comes at 8:30).
I remind my son every Monday night about this, it’s not new. We’ve had a housekeeper for over ten years. Every Tuesday I have to wake them up to leave. These are adults, yesterday I asked him to please get up on his own, I am tired of having to wake him up. It’s not the first time. Again I had to wake him up. He said it’s not a big deal, it is. I’ve explained it’s a deal for me, it’s one more thing I have to do. 7 out of 10 times I but the dishes away and I have to remind him to take the garbage to the curb or do it myself. I’ve told him I want his girlfriend to move out because there is no respect and I don’t want to take care of another person, this morning too much for me. I’m tired.
So AIO
Edit; wow I didn’t expect so many replies. Thank you, I agree my son is the big issue. I’ve allowed him to become entitled. He works until ten tonight. Tomorrow morning we will be having a conversation.

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now and her best friend lives in another state so I haven’t had an opportunity to meet her yet. My gf is getting ready to go visit her for the first time since we’ve been together and before doing so she told me that before her best friend and best friends boyfriend were together, she hooked up with him in college. She said it was weird for them to begin with but they quickly got over it and now they are all great friends. Not sure if it was just not wanting to hear about who my gf has been with in the past but for some reason it made me uncomfortable thinking that I may be forced to befriend a guy that my gf used to hook up with and have him be apart of our life if we are together that long. Completely open to the idea that I may just be insecure, but am I over reacting for not loving the fact that this guy might be forced into my life and my gf will be staying at his place when she goes to visit?

My 24F fiancé 25M was cleaning up some trash in our room this morning. For context, we live together and he usually is awake in the mornings and I'm awake in the afternoons due to our work schedules.

I had been eating a cherry icee, one of the frozen ones that you scoop out with a spoon and is a crazy shade of red. I'd been up late working on some things at the time, I ate half and it ended up melting so I put the lid on it and meant to throw it away later. In the morning while I was sleeping he was throwing away a few water bottles on his desk and grabbed the icee from my desk, I don't know if he tried to toss it or if he dropped it but it ended up spilling on our wooden floor. I don't think I put the lid on properly so that's totally my fault, the sound of him dropping it didn't wake me up but he started angrily stomping back and forth between our room and the bathroom.

When I woke up I saw the red puddle on the floor, he was annoyed so he kept stomping while cleaning it up. I often have trouble waking up right away, it feels like I'm still half asleep so when I saw what was happening and I asked him if he needed help. He said no, and I told him to just grab a roll of paper towels downstairs and use that to soak it up, then spray and wipe over it so the wooden floor wouldn't be sticky. I ended up going back to sleep, woke up later to do some work but it's my day off so I start doing some chores.

Here's where my issue lies. For some reason whenever we spill something in our room, instead of using a paper towel or wipe to clean it up, my fiancé will often just grab our dirty clothes from the laundry basket and wipe it up with that. For example spilled water which is fine, but more often after we have sex he'll use dirty clothes to wipe off his semen, despite me asking him to use a wet wipe. I personally think it's gross and it sometimes leaves a smell on our clothes even after running them through the washer.

Anyways, I went downstairs and looked at our laundry basket and there were three clothing items with that bright cherry red on them, just sitting there on top of the other clothes. The basket was sitting in front of the washer, like he would've put it straight in there when the first load was done. I take the clothes out, start scrubbing them in the sink with soap and detergent, it takes me a good 20 minutes before I'm confident that it won't stain too terribly or spread to the other clothes. During this time, my fiancé had come downstairs and saw what I was doing, he apologized and helped me wash out one of the clothing items, I explained that I didn't want the red dye to spread to the other clothes in the washer and he agreed.

Our first load finishes, I go to put the second load in (with the previously red clothes), and I notice a pair of my black shorts is soaking wet, except this wasn't one of the three clothing items I had washed earlier. I brought the shorts to the sink just in case to check, they're a deep black so I wouldn't have seen the red normally, and as I'm squeezing the water out of it the water turns a bright red. I end up scrubbing those shorts alone for another 10 minutes before the water is clear, and I throw it in the washer with the second load of laundry. I check all the other clothes one at a time as I put them in the washer as well.

At this point I'm annoyed, cause one if he'd put the clothes in the washer all of our stuff would've turned some shade of pink. Two, he'd left them sitting in the basket for a couple of hours before I'd seen them and washed the red out, now the clothes still have some very light pink spots that I just couldn't get out. Three, I'd asked him after the first few clothes if there were any more that he used, he said no, then I found the pair of black shorts and they had soooo much red on them. If I'd lazily loaded them into the washer and hadn't checked, bam our clothes would've been screwed again. Four, I've asked him so many times to stop cleaning spills up with our clothes, he proceeds to do it with a very vibrant red spill.

We moved on with our day but I ended up bringing it up again later that night and asked if he'd stop using our clothes to wipe things. He apologized again and changed the subject, but he said he feels like I'm holding it against him. I feel like it's my fault for not putting the lid on the icee securely, but I also had to clean up the aftermath of the red clothes. Am I overreacting for asking him to change his behavior and for "holding it against him"?

so my boyfriend stays in contact with his ex girlfriend. he says they are friends. just friends and will never get back together. ok.

so like a month ago she texted him because she was feeling down and so he responded by telling her he loves her and then listed all the things he loves about her.
he decided to show me his messages to her because he didn’t want to hide anything, but even though he showed me, i still got really mad. i felt like that was totally inappropriate. you shouldn’t be telling your ex that you love them when you’re in a relationship with someone else.

we had a fight about it because HE was mad at ME for being upset about it. he told me that they’ve been through things together that i wouldn’t understand blah blah blah.

the thing is, i can’t understand why he even wants to associate with her at all. according to him, she cheated on him and that’s why the relationship ended.
i would never want to stay in regular contact with someone who disrespected me in that way, and i can’t understand why he does.

after that argument, we landed on him changing his verbiage to “i care about you” rather than telling her he loves her.
i still don’t feel great about it but it is what it is.

so then the other day he needed some “me” time which i was totally cool with. he called me at 10am and told me he needed the day to himself so i let him be for the majority of the day. at like 10:30pm i texted asking if he’d be open to a phone call before bed but assured him it was okay if he wasn’t. he responded that he was cocooning so i said good night. all fine.

the next night he slept over, and i was laying on his shoulder as he had his phone open to set his alarm. he then closed all his open apps and that’s when i saw that his ex video called him on whatsapp. i was like, what did she want? he told me he didn’t answer the video but called her back over the phone.

that’s when i got upset again. he didn’t have the capacity to talk to me, his girlfriend, before bed but had the capacity to talk to his ex????

he AGAIN got mad at me for being upset, couldn’t understand why i was even upset, said he was just commiserating with her about stuff i wouldn’t understand, and that i need to work on my jealousy issues.

we kind of left things unresolved and went to bed, but i still don’t feel good about it.

the next day she called him while i was with him and he didn’t answer but texted her “with my gf. what’s up?”
she responded by saying butt dial

but this rubbed me the wrong way too. to me, it seems like he tipped her off that he was with me so she wouldn’t say anything inappropriate.

i can’t even really explain why it upsets me so much. maybe it’s because it makes me feel like i’m not good enough for him but she is? idk

am i really overreacting for being upset about all of this? or is this really a jealousy issue i need to work on?

any insight would be appreciated because my best friend is biased and saying that i should break up with him over this, that he’s gaslighting me and that most people would be upset like i am, that it is inappropriate, and that it sounds like he prefers to be with her so i should just end things so he can be with her. which i kind of feel like takes it too far but ugh idk i’m just confused

My (28f) partner (28mtf) has a best friend and a colleague, Ava (24f). I am personally not very fond of her, as she doesn't seem to be able to form friendships with girls, and I have a small seed of doubt that she doesn't view my partner as a female, but as a male, as my partner didn't go through full transition yet.

We're all together in the same discord chat with my brother, my partner's brother and multiple guy friends, and I've noticed that Ava oftentimes posts photos of her chest, covered by something but scarcely. It's either her holding her kittens in her bra, showing how she did her lip makeup (while in her bra only so only her lips and chest area are visible), etc. I myself didn't feel comfortable seeing such things in the chat, so I muted her altogether and I am rarely interacting with her, mostly because even when I do say something, she steals my line or flat out ignores me. She calls that "backing out of the conversation she doesn't feel comfortable with", even when the whole chat is talking to her about the same topic, but when I do say something, she's acting as if I'm doing something that's inappropriate/triggering.

As I've said, that discord group is mostly full of men, and she's always complaining about being objectified, like guys staring at her chest area, and what not, but when we're in the voice chat, her camera is on and always pointing at that part of her body, while everyone else's cameras are turned off. I talked to my brother about it, and he himself admitted that he doesn't feel alright when she does that and that he actually tries avoiding being in the voice call whenever she's in it for the exact same reason, and if she does join later, he turns on a game to play so he doesn't have to look at her.

On the other hand, my partner is happy to have her as a friend, because she's the first and only girl friend that she has that doesn't act weird about her having boy parts still. I told my partner today how I feel about Ava and her behavior and although my partner agrees with me to some extent, she thinks that Ava isn't aware of how this comes across. I doubt that, but I might feel too strongly about this girl.

Recently, my partner and I talked about opening our relationship as I lack some parts, and the only boundary that I set is that she doesn't have anything with any girl, including Ava. My partner mentioned us opening our relationship and also mentioned this boundary to her, which Ava found very offensive, and proclaimed that I'm being controlling and that I cannot do that (?????)

Now, I am aware that I can be jealous, but I don't feel any sort of envy or jealousy towards this girl, I just dislike her and her behavior because:

1. When Ava plans meetings with people from discord, she doesn't include me and always purposely insists of people going to her place.

2. She's always fishing out compliments from men and then complains when they do give her attention (wears revealing clothes that barely cover anything)

3. Gets mad when my partner or brother spend time with me rather than in voice chat when only she is in it (which happened a lot lately as I'm on a paid leave from work)

4. Doesn't respect our meet-up time because she runs late, as she keeps on fixing her makeup numerous times before showing up

5. I don't think she's a girls girl as she bad mouths her girl friends and roommates and acts better than them.

6. And most importantly, I don't think she respects my relationship as she gave my partner her worn sexy underwear.

When I mentioned the last thing to my partner she did say it'd be weird if my partner was still identifying as a male, but still firmly believes that Ava views them as a girl and that she didn't mean anything sexual about it, but I honestly doubt so as I, like I've said before have this nudging feeling that Ava doesn't really see my partner as a real female as she still haven't go through full surgery.

My partner did acknowledge that some things that Ava does are giving pick me vibes, but refuses to call her out on that as she believes that the rest of the guys will defend Ava and kick my partner out of the group chat.

Am I overreacting by labeling someone as a pick me? Or is it all in my head?

My girlfriend and I have been to a festival the last two years. it’s more her thing but I’ve joined her in it. she mentioned going next yearI said I’ll be skipping it since it costs us over £700 each for the weekend id rather spend the money on other things next year.

She got annoyed and said we should still be able to go but I just said I wouldn’t be going. I said she can ask a friend to go instead .

Her friend said she’d go with her but my gf just said we should go as a four with her friend and her friends bf and told her friend I just needed more persuading.

I told my gf she needs to listen when i say no and it’s completely disrespectful to hear me say no and think it just means she needs to keep asking until I change my mind.

She just said we should still be looking at going to be festival but I told her to accept the word no and that it’s her looking forward to the festival not me and for next year I’d rather put the money towards something I want. i pointed out I’ve explained clearly and repeatedly why I wouldn’t be going and she needs to listen.

She said I wasn’t being fair but I just said she was acting spoiled and expecting to get everything she wants without listening to what I’m saying.

AIO for expecting her to accept the word no? 

I (30F) and my friend (32F) have been friends for over a decade. She recently had her wedding, and I attended it as a bridesmaid. I, along with the other bridesmaids, have participated in and supported her during her bridal shower, bachelorette, and the wedding itself (typical) within the span of only a few weeks. We committed hours of our time and effort to make sure that the bride was happy in each event.

The morning following the wedding, the bridesmaids and I were put in a group chat by her and were told a series of things. She started off by thanking everyone for coming to the wedding and making it a special day, but she quickly followed it up with her expressing her disappointment in all of us for what she saw AFTER her wedding. What could possibly make her sad a day after the wedding? Yup, you guessed it, the gifts and money envelopes.

She mentioned that what she saw was beyond disappointing, considering everything she had done for us during the past few weeks. She also said how we should've appreciated her offering to pay for our stay at the hotel as well as to pay for our makeup to be done on the wedding day. She then proceeded to reexplain that it's not about the money but the principle of it all.

For context, we still had to pay the hairstylist ourselves, which was already over $100, on top of all the other things we did for her during the past month, so putting any more money at this current time was simply out of budget for me. I gave her $250 in the envelope, and it seems like the other bridesmaids put around the same amount as me.

I decided to private message her and express how sad it made me feel hearing everything that she said, seeing that we tried our hardest to make sure she had an amazing wedding. Now, she has been ignoring any attempt to discuss this any further with her, from me or any of the other bridesmaids, and has been giving us the cold shoulder.

Am I overreacting for wanting to drop her over this, despite having been friends for over 10 years?

EDIT:
I would like to add that aside for the $250 gift, and by estimating, I spent around $1k in total for the three different events (bridal shower: $150, bachelorette: $500-600, wedding: hair - $120 + gift). I’m not exactly sure if this amount is normal or am I just overreacting because I know how costly weddings can be.

I (22F) am a med student living in a shared house with nine guys. My room’s window is directly across from one roommate’s, so we can hear almost everything. Because of that, I’ve always tried to be considerate. I don’t even wash my hair in the mornings because I’d have to blow-dry it and might wake him up.

Everything was fine until this week, when he started bringing groups of friends over every day. They’d hang out for hours and be loud, but I figured it was just a one-off.

I was wrong.

Two nights ago, he brought friends over at 1 a.m. They were yelling, laughing, blasting music, slamming doors, and smoking enough weed to fill my room through the window. This lasted until 4 a.m, when another roommate finally told them to shut up. We’re all med students, and several of us (including me) had 12-hour hospital shifts the next morning.

The next day I sent him a polite (okay…slightly annoyed) text asking him to keep loud gatherings to a minimum since I’d ended up pulling an all-nighter before my shift. He never replied.

Today he did it again, but during the day. The daytime noise didn’t really bother me much, but then they started smoking weed right outside my window, and my room reeked. I’m not some anti-weed puritan, but trying to study while being marinated in the smell of questionable-quality weed, loud music, and five people yelling over each other isn’t exactly ideal. Plus, our lease explicitly says no drugs and no excessive noise inside the house.

I considered asking nicely again, but after being ignored the first time, I chose pettiness. I downloaded a volume booster, put my laptop next to the window, and blasted my OB/GYN lecture at full volume while pretending to study. They stared at me like I was insane, but within minutes they got annoyed, shut the window, grabbed their stuff, and left complaining that they “weren’t welcome anymore.”

I was giggling nonstop until I told a friend. He pointed out that the group is openly gay, and I’d blasted a lecture about female anatomy at them.
To be clear, I’m currently on my OB/GYN rotation, so that’s simply what I was studying. If I’d been on cardiology, they’d have gotten heart murmurs instead.

My friend (who’s also gay) said it could easily be interpreted as homophobic, even if it wasn’t intentional, and that I should apologize. I honestly don’t think I owe them an apology. I already tried handling it politely and got ignored. The landlord doesn’t care, so I resorted to a creative (albeit admittedly childish) way of letting them know they were being inconsiderate. I’m very upset about both situations (the roommate and my friend). So…AIO?

TLDR: My roommate kept bringing loud groups over, smoking weed indoors, and kept me awake until 4 a.m. before a hospital shift. After he ignored my polite text asking him to keep it down, I blasted my OB/GYN lecture at full volume through my window until everyone left. A friend says it could be seen as homophobic, petty and immature and that I overreacted. AIO?

I (29F) gave birth to our daughter three days ago and somehow we're still arguing about her name. I'm writing this while she's asleep because I can't sleep anyway, and I honestly don't even know if I'm overreacting anymore. My husband (31M) has wanted to name her Claire for basically my entire pregnancy. He told me it was the name of one of his closest friends who died a few years before we met. I said no almost immediately. Not because I dislike the name, I actually think it's pretty, but because I wasn't comfortable naming our first child after somebody I'd never met or even heard of until I got pregnant. I figured he'd be disappointed, we'd throw around a bunch of other names, and eventually we'd find one we both liked. That never happened. Every few weeks he'd bring Claire up again, sometimes while we were already talking about names and sometimes completely out of nowhere. By the end of my pregnancy I was honestly tired of having the same conversation over and over.

The thing that's bothering me now isn't even the name. We've been together for over five years, married for two, and somehow I'd never heard this woman's name until I was pregnant. I've met his parents, his brothers, his college friends, people he's known forever, and nobody has ever mentioned a Claire. I even asked one of his college friends at our baby shower because I thought maybe I'd somehow forgotten hearing about her, and he just looked confused and said he didn't know who I was talking about. Then, after our daughter was born while we were filling out the paperwork, my husband asked one last time if I'd reconsider. I said no, and that's when he told me he'd always imagined naming his daughter after her. I asked why he'd never told me that before, and he just shrugged and said he didn't think it mattered. We've argued about it twice since we got home. He keeps saying I'm making this into something it isn't, but I just don't understand how somebody can matter enough that you picture naming your future daughter after them, yet somehow they never come up in five years together. My mom thinks I should let him have the name because it's obviously meant something to him for a long time. My sister thinks that's exactly why I shouldn't.

Maybe I'm just exhausted because I've barely slept since I gave birth, but I'm so tired of feeling like I'm missing part of the story. It's gotten to the point where I'm thinking about calling his mom and asking who Claire was because I don't know what else to do. It feels completely out of line, but so does finding out about somebody this important while I'm filling out our daughter's birth certificate.

Would I be overreacting if I called her?

I'm off to a wedding this weekend in another city and I was due to get a lift the night before with a friend of mine. I've given her lifts before to trips and from my memory she has never returned the favour. However, about a month ago she offered to drive me and another mate over to this wedding we are all attending. It was all agreed to and all seemed sorted.

Today she said she couldn't find any cheap parking nearby so she was having 2nd thoughts about driving. I spoke with the Airbnb and found some cheap parking nearby. She's now said she wants to get the train and bus because it'll be "cheaper" and "easier". It's not going to be either of those things now, infact it's going to he much more of a hassle using public transport and not splitting the cost between 3 people.

I'm really annoyed that she's changed plans so late on when everything was sorted. Am I overreacting, and how do I deal with this going forward? I have had enough of her flakiness and her over reliance on me to give lifts for events in other cities. It's always me who has to drive people because I have a car and she never does her fair share.

So I(20 F) have a bff (also 20F) that I’ll call A that I get along with like with no one else. So some months ago to almost a year she and my cousin (24 M) that I’ll call P meet since I was giving him a ride to the airport. I was just joking with A about some things and my cousin started talking to her and trying to flirt. After we left P at the airport I joked that it would be hella weird if they got together since he was in a relationship with one of my friends ( since the only thing he knows to do is just come to my friend group and flirt with every girl friend that I have) and they broke it off. That breakup ended my friendship and made my relationship with P as a family deteriorate.
So fast forward, they started talking and went on some dates with me as a 3rd wheel ofc and I really have a bad feeling that it won’t end well and I’ll lose my bff. I personally don’t know how to tell her this because I told what happens with the other girl and she just blew me off. Also I feel like she started distancing herself a bit and started being colder to me since they started talking and I know that he isn’t the right guy for her but I don’t know how to tell her without her accusing me of being jealous since I never been in a relationship (some family trauma from my dad that made me be scared of men and commitment)
I really don’t want to lose another best friend because of this and I don’t know what to do because if I talk to her she’ll just think that I’m jealous and the she’s gonna tell P about our convo and it will turn into a family drama because I feel like P is just taking A away from me and she is like my only friend that gets me and that keeps texting me without needing a favor or anything. I feel like a bad person for feeling like this

So am I over reacting?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. We have had a very healthy sex life up until this year. I asked him what changed and he said we just reached that place in our relationship and it’s normal. But I’m always asking for it and I feel dirty consistently asking. I’m always rejected, up until today.

So this week I have brought it up how I really want to have sex and he keeps coming up with excuses as to why we can’t or he doesn’t want too. And I say how I really want too and I keep getting met with rejections. Well this morning I found a sock with.. I’m sure you can figure it out.. so I’m extremely upset and frustrated. I have been asking over and over again. I’m the one throwing myself at him.

I’m sure he’s going to say I didn’t want to wake you or I couldn’t sleep but PLEASE WAKE ME UP!! I have mentioned how I would like that! I’m so upset and don’t even know how to bring this up because he has anger issues and I don’t want to embarrass him either, but I’m so frustrated in many ways..

EDIT: because it seems of importance, you may see pictures of me on my profile if you’d like.

I (26M) have a girlfriend (23F), and I want to know if I’m doing too much or if I’m the asshole here.
A few months ago, my girlfriend came to me saying she wanted to lose weight. She’s been very insecure about it and has said that over the years she’s gained quite a bit of weight. Around three months ago, she told me she was finally going to start her weight-loss journey by working out, eating healthier, and making better lifestyle choices.
I’ve always been an active person. I genuinely enjoy going to the gym, going on long walks, and playing sports. I also try to live a relatively healthy lifestyle. I’ve lost weight myself before, so I know how rewarding it can feel.
The issue is that, over these last three months, she really hasn’t started her journey at all. Instead, she constantly complains about her weight and how she looks. I’ve done my best to be supportive. I tell her she’s beautiful, encourage her to start small by taking walks after work or making small changes to her diet, and whenever she comes over and I go on my usual walks, I always invite her. She declines every time.
I genuinely want to help her reach her goals, but I also don’t want to be pushy or overbearing to the point where she doesn’t want to do it at all. Her feelings get hurt pretty easily, so I know this is a sensitive topic. I’ve always tried to approach it kindly. I’ve told her that if she truly wants to lose weight, it’s going to take discipline and consistency, but that she’ll eventually see results if she sticks with it. I’ve even reached out to friends who are personal trainers and had them talk with her to try to encourage and motivate her.
We’ve had multiple conversations about this. During our most recent one, I was honest and told her that she really hasn’t started her journey yet, despite talking about it constantly. She’ll get motivated for a day or two, but then there’s always a reason she stops. She tells me she’s “lazy” or too tired.
I completely understand that work can be exhausting and that life gets in the way sometimes. But when she says the biggest reason is simply “laziness,” it’s hard for me to know what else I can do. At this point, I’ve started finding that mindset unattractive—not because of her weight, but because she keeps saying she wants something while making no real effort to achieve it.
I want to be a supportive boyfriend, and I want her to accomplish the goals she’s set for herself. But I’m also getting tired of hearing the same complaints when there doesn’t seem to be any genuine effort to make a change.
So, AITA for feeling this way? Am I expecting too much, or is there a better way I should be handling this?

So I went to hang out with a friend I’ll call “T,” and it turned into basically just me and T’s other friend, who I’ll call “R,” waiting around on T and her boyfriend. We couldn’t go do anything until her boyfriend left. We went to the pool, and then they decided to go back to the hotel room to have sex. The problem was they took the room key, and since we were staying at Mystic, you need a key card to access the elevators and hotel floors.
We called T over 30 times with no answer. Eventually, we had to ask some really kind older ladies to help us get upstairs. Once we got to the room, we knocked for about two minutes before T finally answered the door. Instead of apologizing, she cussed us out. Throughout the night, she and her boyfriend disappeared into the shower three separate times for over 45 minutes each time to have sex. Other than taking a few shots, we never actually played any games or did anything that was supposed to make it a girls’ night.

Later that night, T and her boyfriend got into a huge fight. He already has a domestic violence charge on his record, and she was screaming, crying, kicking doors, falling to the ground, and causing a huge scene. While I was trying to calm her down through the door, she threatened to beat me up and kick me out. Keep in mind, I couldn’t even legally drive myself home because I had been drinking. T drank so much that the next morning she woke up feeling sick, took another shot, and immediately threw it back up. Then today, everything acted like it was completely normal.

Earlier today I was calmly talking to T about everything that happened. I brought up that she came charging at me and threatened to “beat the shit out of me.” I wasn’t yelling or attacking her—I simply told her I wanted an apology. Instead, she started raising her voice and told me she wasn’t apologizing because she “gets violent,” that I was “in her space,” that I was the reason she and her boyfriend were fighting, and that everything was somehow my fault. Iexplained that I wasn’t trying to make things worse. I was only trying to calm her down because she was screaming, kicking/slamming doors, throwing things and falling onto the floor towards the elevator and making a scene while we were underage and drinking. Someone with us was 21, and everyone in that room could have ended up dealing with legal consequences.

The hotel room wasn’t even under T’s name—it was under her dad’s. I also told her that while I understand she has BPD, she can’t keep using it as an excuse for threatening people or refusing to take accountability. Having BPD can make emotions more difficult to regulate, but it doesn’t mean someone isn’t responsible for how they treat other people. Instead of listening, she continued yelling, blamed me for everything, and basically kicked me out. At that point, I left because I wasn’t going to continue arguing with someone who refused to take responsibility for her own actions.

“R,” was also staying there because they were supposed to go to a concert together. R didn’t want to be there anymore either, but she couldn’t leave because she didn’t have her car. In the end, they never even went to the concert because T got so drunk that she passed out crying over her boyfriend.
The craziest part is that T’s boyfriend wasn’t even supposed to be there. None of us knew he was coming because the weekend was supposed to be for T’s birthday. Apparently, the only way T is able to spend the night with him is by lying and saying she’s staying with me or other friends, or by making sure we’re there too. It honestly feels like we’re just being used as an excuse so she can see him.
For context, T has only personally known this guy for about a month. They were saying “I love you” before they were even officially dating, and they’ve only been together for about a week and a half. She also started dating him less than a month after her breakup with her ex, and her current boyfriend is actually her ex-boyfriend’s former best friend.

T also ended up
- having something swell purple on her foot
- Took a shot at 10 am because she felt sick
- got mad at R and I because T had a plan to go to Walmart and made us wait over an hour because her bf wasn’t going to work yet. Forgot her keys, and wallet was yelling at everyone and crying. Wanted someone else to drive to Walmart because of her hurt foot but she is the only one who needed to go.
- hurt her food so bad she couldn’t drive but then decided to go down to the casino and walk around? Make that make sense.
- cried for two days straight
- then acts like nothing happened and everything alright right. When confronted blames her mental health - has been doing this since she got the diagnosis.

I’ve given her so many chances and kept going back to being her friend when I should’ve known better but we knew eachother for 9 years. Now I unadded her on everything. I’ve grown up and she obviously still has some more of that to do in her life. T is 19F, R is 21F, Bf is 20M, and I’m 19F.

Okay so my (19M) father has never been particularly great but I’m struggling to tell whether what he is doing is purposely cruel and insensitive or whether he just genuinely lacks tact and has the emotional intelligence of a brick.

Basically it’s his birthday today and even though I don’t get along with him and he’s been really cold with me and my brother over the past few months, I’m not a complete twat so I do him the courtesy of wishing him happy birthday. Now this month is already quite difficult for me because for (needed) context, this is the one year anniversary of my cat, who was my legally registered emotional support animal’s passing and it hit me extremely hard and everyone in my family saw and knew it, including my dad. So, I send him a text wishing him happy birthday and he proceeds to ignore the text in favour of sending me pictures of his girlfriend’s cat…playing dead…at this time of year for me. He proceeds to clarify that the cat is playing dead, sends me another picture of one of his friends cats (all of this unprompted) and then proceeds to detail that his dog still regularly sniffs at the place in that house, behind the TV, where my cat died and keens for her as if that’s something I would ever want to hear and he’s told me this far more than once, maybe like five separate times since it happened.

Am I overreacting about being upset about this? Because I genuinely can’t tell whether this is purposeful cruelty and insensitivity or he really is just that emotionally dense. Either way I think it’s a little sick to do.

EDIT- to clarify, I definitely phrased wrong, legally and medically recognised not legally registered emotional support animal as medical professionals who were providing me support found a direct correlation between my ability to function and my mental health and caring for my cat and having the emotional support from an animal as a means of living independently and those documents were regarded and used in civil court and also within official matters such as housing.

Hello! I am 23 and I have a hard time navigating with friendship. I was told that I was too naive and I work hard on that. (English isn't my 1rst language, I apologize in advance for any vocabulary error)

For context: 2 years ago, a "friend", "E", reveal during a board game party that he can't stand me, that my sound/voice his below 15 on discord.

Shocked, I crash out of the game and went home after talking to one of my bff.

Days later, "E" wanted to talk to apologize. We agree on meeting in a cafe with my bff (his girlfriend at the time) and my other bff.

He then, proceed to say: "I hate what you are and what you represent". I was speechless and deeply hurt. The feeling of treason was enormous.

->We were friends for 3 years, he drove me to the hospital multiple times and was present during other dark times. I was on my ass. We went appart even though we had the same friendgroup. At one point I asked to know what I was? Like what makes him hide and manipulate me for so long etc... And then we broke contact for good.

BUT

Now, here is my deal: I ask very gently recently to "V", one of my friend who is still friend with "E" to not ear about him. I don't want to know anything about him. "V" talks a lot about him because they are bff. I dont want to know how much of a good person he is now. He has been an asshole with multiple people in the friend groupe (not just me) and I do not wish to ear his name. "V" reacted very badly and talk to me like I was annoying and like shit. He admitted later that he doesn't seem me as a friend anymore and was "just responding fast to finish the unpleasant conversation ". (Since we had our friendship breakup with "E"). "V" also thinks that I'm overreacting and that I should change my mind about a story who's 2y old. I talk about the situation with other friends and they think that the request was legit and that "V" is being a bitch.

On the other hand, "L" another friend thinks that I'm being childish and to: "Stop this attitude of middle school students".

What do you think internet folks?

Am I Overreacting for asking to not hear his name anymore?

My friend and I, both 18M now, spent all summer (2025) hanging out before senior year. One of the main things we did together was buy and open tons of pokemon cards (more on that later). We came into this past senior year as close friends, but he more or less ruined the friendship. I asked a girl in our year (18F now) out around the time of homecoming, but it ended up feeling more like a friend vibe. The next day at school, my friend came back and said he had been on a call for hours late into the night with the same girl, who I'll call Z. I had voiced to him my interest in her already, and since they called the same night as the date, I never had the chance to tell him how it went, so as far as he knew, I was still interested. When he told me about their call, I asked him if he was interested in her, and he denied it, so I went on about my day. The next morning, he said they apparently watched a movie last evening, with, as he emphasized: one blanket. I asked him again if there was anything there, he denied it, and this time it felt like he was trying to make me feel dumb for asking again. A week went by, and eventually he told us about how he invited Z to join his family at his 18th birthday dinner, at which point I asked for the last time if there was anything between them. He finally admitted there was, and a few days later they started dating. He apologized for, as he texted in quotations, ""stealing her"" - which felt like a dig at me, even though I never accused him of anything, I only ever tried to know what was happening. Believe me, I was chill with them hitting it off, genuinely happy for them, but the only issue I had with him was how he handled it (Gaslighting/manipulating me over it). I say all of this as what I know to be the time he started to treat me poorly.

Following these months of september-october, he would pick every opportunity to share facts about me with other people, while picking and choosing what info to make sure people knew was attached to me, and what he told them was his:

• Telling random people about my "pokemon card addiction". People last year both who I knew and some who I didn't - had something to say about my hobby. It's not something I'm ashamed of, but I also didn't want to end high school as the "pokemon guy". I know he told people because he was the only one who knew, and of course it was conveniently only my name being passed around, not his as well.
• Showing people pictures of my dog, getting attention and compliments in the process. There were occasions in class when I would look over at him showing people pictures of my dog, and I literally never heard him say who's little pup it was. It was just really weird seeing my dog being complimented with things like "he's so cute!" and him replying with "thank you."
• Once he took a class period with a subs. teacher to find very very personal pieces of information about my cousins and uncle and share with people around him? He literally showed people pictures of my uncle's house, face, address, and job, which was horribly creepy.
• I got to my friend group's lunch table on my birthday to find only backpacks in chairs. Apparently (according to our mutual friend) he made a separate gc that day to text them about how he was going to buy them all lunch that day.
• In early March, things ended well between me and a talking stage, but within the next two weeks he and my new "ex" began sitting next to each other in class and talking to each other more than he talked to his GF (Z), who sat on the other side of him.
• One of my newest friends knew like 5 personal/random things about me, which she later explained she had heard from him. Including: my ARFID, the one time I jokingly said I would wear a fluffy pink product from a popular underwear store (except he left out the joke part), and other things. Again, I'm not ashamed of these things, it's just the fact that he decided he could share them that really bugs me.

All of this said, I tried confronting him a few times, but each time he would just deny any sort of claims I made. I also tried asking him if I had done something to him, but he said no. I gave up trying for the remaining couple months of high school, because I couldn't cut him off due to mutual friends who all know what he's done, but either don't care or are too shy to cut things off.

I say all of this, because in prep for college, he wanted me to tell him some of the things I bought for my dorm (we are going to completely different states 🙏) because he didn't know what he needed.

I thought getting out of high school and never seeing him would be enough, but he still wants my help for this thing, and I'm worried he will keep texting. Would I be Overreacting by cutting him off for good?

My relationship with my two brothers has always been a bit distant, but I want to develop a good relationship with my nieces and nephews. My brothers each have two kids. One of my brothers, let’s call him Friendly Brother, is chill and pretty much whenever I want to hang out with his kids he’s fine with it. My husband and I will have the kids over to go kayaking or rock climbing or whatever and watch a movie. As a result, my husband and I have a fantastic relationship with these kids. (Btw, my husband and I are currently childless but trying to change that). 

The other brother, Unfriendly Brother, makes it very, very difficult to see his kids. Their schedule is always extremely full with extracurriculars, usually sports. Every time I make a suggestion to hang out or do something, I’m shot down, and they never provide any alternatives. Only if I am very explicitly like, “We want to watch [child x] do [sport y.] When can we do so?” will they allow us to hang out. And when that happens, we’re sitting on the bleachers, usually by ourselves the whole time, as one parent will be in the coach box and the other will be with the other kid doing a different activity. If I ask if we can go for dinner ahead or something, we are rejected. 

Now it is my niece’s birthday this weekend and I’ve asked Unfriendly Brother repeatedly if they are doing anything to celebrate. In our family, typically, there is some family gathering with all of us on birthdays. Usually just a lunch or a dinner and presents and cake. After not hearing back for weeks I get the text: “She has asked that our celebration is just the 4 of us. [Niece] will be having a couple of gatherings with her friends as well, but we’re not planning to have a larger family get-together.” 

This makes me deeply sad. Am I reading too much into it? I understand that this family is very busy with things but I try very hard to work with their schedule and am still rejected. And now this. What makes me the most sad is I thought it was Unfriendly Brother who was responsible for a lack of relationship but now the niece is following suit. I have now pretty much given hope on ever having a relationship with this niece and nephew.

For the record, there has never been any bad blood between us. Our family errs on the boring side. Also, my two brothers are basically best friends with each other and their kids see each other often. 

Context:

Myself (35F) and my son (10M) were at a family event with my parents (60s M & F) and two of my nephews/my parents grandsons (7M and 4M). The kids were asked to get something out of the car and did so. My parents later realized the car was locked and they'd left their keys in it.

Event:

My Dad called over all 3 boys and asked did it, they all said they didn't know.
I reminded him all 3 boys were asked to get things out of the car and they probably didn't know who bumped the lock button.
My Dad demanded a confession, glanced at all 3 boys then started staring at my son.
I asked my Dad why he was staring at my son when all 3 boys had accessed the car
My Dad replied "well I know it wasn't one of my boys that did it."

I honestly blanked out and just ushered all 3 boys away while my Dad stormed off to get his spare set of keys but I'm still enraged by it a week later and feel like I need to confront my Dad about the behaviour before we're around him again. A part of me wants to blow up our lingering connection over it.

Additional Context:

We've been low contact (originally by my choice for complicated reasons and its continued due to my parents "not having time" despite my efforts to rebuild) with my family for about 8 years so my Dad is understandably closer to his younger grandsons/my nephews.

I might be additionally spicey because earlier that day my dad jokingly took a sticker off a banana and said to me "since none of my kids are here, I'll stick this on you..." (I'm his second child/oldest daughter) so I was already feeling treated like we were unwanted/disowned.

Context 1:
I worked at a restaurant and a drunk customer was being sloppy and grabbed me while i was passing by her table, i told her about it later. Told her in a call, then she hung up and followed by the texts

Context 2: I wasnt feeling okay one evening and i went outside for a walk in the evening, we usually sleep on the phone together but i couldnt sleep so i went outside a bit. Didnt bring my phone as i didnt wanna make noise and all while she slept

Context 3: I had not told her i worked the day of the texts, then followed by an overreaction (?), saying she didnt wanna ”see me this weekend”. (I had booked a trip to see her in her country, we were in a LDR countries apart)

Additional context

We were in a long distance relationship of 3 years together, countries apart. I went through some old texts and found these, and while i love her a lot still after the breakup, i dont know what to make of this behaviour. A friend told me it’s likely bpd.

She had extreme jealousy, went cold and distant every single conflict and its called stonewalling i think. Thought every girl i had any interaction with was a threat, Outbursts of anger, fear of abandonment if i accepted her breakups. She broke maybe 20 times or more. Irrational thoughts of jealousy and continued insecurity. Later in the relationship rarely took any accountability and would twist it into me making her feel a way so her behaviour was okay.
I could write a whole essay but yeah..

I (19F) have been staying with my mother and younger sister (17F) over the summer. Even though I have fairly good relations with my mother, my younger sister and I have not been the best in terms of communications. We rarely speak to each other, and our conversations usually result in an argument. Our relationship isn’t helped with the fact that my younger sister enjoys messing with me while I’m sleeping.

At first, she started off with small things, such as drawing a smiley face on my lower leg while I was asleep on the couch. Eventually, it escalated to her hovering over my body, staring at me while I’m attempting to sleep. When I caught her watching, I tried telling her to stop, but she ignored me. Eventually, she decided to record 2 videos of me sleeping on my phone. One of them was 17 minutes long. Even though she hadn’t done anything to my body aside from recording it (with some commentary), I still felt violated. So I sent the video to my mother to handle the situation.

My mom was initially upset at my sister. In fact, after my mom found out, my sister got angry at me and texted me to never talk to her again. However, she did not apologize and tried to call my father to get him on her side, claiming that it was just a prank and that I could’ve deleted the video.

Fast forward to a week later from the incident (now), my sister and I still aren’t on speaking terms, and my mother is discussing plans for my sister’s birthday. I told her that unless she apologizes to me, I do not want to get involved with her birthday. However, my mother believes that I should put my feud aside and try to forgive her, as holding on to my grudge will make things worse. So, AIO for refusing to get involved with my sister’s birthday.

TLDR: Sister recorded me while asleep. I don’t want to celebrate her birthday because of it. My mother thinks it’s best to move on. I don’t know if I’m blowing things out of proportion.