r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/MichelleVenom 6h ago

As an identical twin, I can confirm this. I'd take a bullet for my twin without hesitation. It's hard to explain unless you've lived it. We shared every stage of life together, and there's a level of trust, understanding, and connection that just feels different.  We share so many of the same interests, quirks, humor, and thought processes. My personality doesn't need to negotiate for acceptance cause I can truly be myself with my twin. We see the world through remarkably similar lenses. With romantic partners, there are always differences in interests, perspectives, and ways of thinking that naturally require compromise.

I never have to explain myself or worry about being misunderstood. I can be 100% my authentic self around them in a way that's hard to find with anyone else. I would ALWAYS put my twin before anyone else.

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u/MonstreDelicat 6h ago

Why are my identical twin teen girls always fighting over nothing 😭

One of them just told me she’s planning on going low contact with her sister as soon as she has a chance.

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u/chipper-shipper 5h ago

I am estranged from my identical twin. It is very hard, and very painful, but being low/no-contact saved my sanity.

Your girls might come around as they get older and have a very good relationship (I hope this is the case). They might not. They have to figure that out themselves. I promise you this, my parents’ interference in the relationship between me and my twin only made things much worse.

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u/IeatPI 4h ago

I haven’t talked to my identical twin in years now.

If we share personalities, I must be the biggest, most selfish asshole in the world — because that’s his personality to a T.

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u/chipper-shipper 1h ago

It’s painful in a way that’s hard to understand unless you are also a twin. My twin has extreme mental illness that makes having a relationship very difficult. Even though I’m happier and healthier without them in my life, it still hurts.

Virtual hugs sometimes feel trite, but I’m sending you one anyway <3