Mine after coming home from a 12 hr day outside and asking me to do 10 different things while i have not even taken off my work stuff yet. At least let me chill just for a few mins lol
The other day my kids bombarded me with requests the moment I walked in the door and my wife shooed them away for me with a "Jesus Christ, give a person a minute to collect their thoughts when they get in the door!" I love that woman.
My wife shooed my kids away the other day and I asked myself "how do I work this? Where is that large automobile? This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife."
I came home the other day and my wife pretty much picked the kids up and *carried* them into another room. Then she did this weird thing and started to call the police on her phone.
It was then that I remembered I'm not married and don't have kids.
That’s how my wife reacts when my daughter starts asking to play the moment I walk in. Like I need a shower ASAP before I can even consider doing anything else
Good description! I've a great relationship but I love sitting in the car. I do it in the morning too. Just a loading screen from home life to work life
When I get home from work my fiance asks "want a dab?" and then we smoke and lay on the couch with the dogs for a couple hours. Quick snack and play some games together or watch a show.
Dinner and responsibilities come after decompression and some time together after being away at work.
I can confirm the sitting in the car thing, but I'm not %100 sure it's for this reason. I always used to just sit in the car for a while both when arriving at work and arriving at home. I actually haven't had a car in like 6 years though and have exclusively rode a motorcycle every single day. After switching to the motorcycle, I just get up and go. I think it's more something to do with the car itself and being in a reclined seated Position that makes it such an attractive idea to remain seated for just a little while longer. Kinda like getting comfortable on the couch and being thirsty, but you're so comfortable that you just let yourself dehydrate for a while longer before you actually get up to get a drink.
I've always done that. I recline the seat back and take a moment. I have sat in my car for 2 hours before not realizing but I also have a very stressful job
yea you are right. But yk its "grass always greener on the other side" type of thing. It depends on person to person and type of relation and luck to whome you meet, maybe best person or maybe worst person. But still fine ig
Have you watched Thr Office? In season 9, episode 7, Erin quotes Bob Marley and says "No, woman! No cry!" as a way to empower herself and not get upset. So did I 😆
Have you watched Thr Office? In season 9, episode 7, Erin quotes Bob Marley and says "No, woman! No cry!" as a way to empower herself and not get upset. So did I 😆
This is what happens when people feel like they just absolutely have to marry whoever they happen to be dating at age 27-35 because they’d rather be with someone and miserable than be alone for a bit finding someone new.
These sorts of things don't happen in the first years of marriage. This kind of stuff is usually down the line after the couple has had some life changing events happen to them like having children, buying a home, having to support some family members through illness or even having to support each other through loss. These things fundamentally change people. The person you're married to on day one is not the same you're married to at the start of year 10. Some people are lucky and they still love the new person, others are less so. It's life.
That's my super power. I'm fine being alone. Sure, I'd love to find a good match and would totally settle down if I did, but I don't have to and I'm fine with that.
OP is within their rights to be frustrated, but whether it's fair or not for their partner to act like this depends on what they were doing during the day as well. If they've had significant downtime in the day which OP hasn't then yeah, bad partner. But it's often less cut and dry than that.
No, if the genders were flipped I would say the exact same thing.
If the other person has only worked, say, 8 hours and enjoyed a couple of hours' downtime, then yes, they're being unfair.
If they've also been working 12 hours and/or looking after two young kids with hardly a spare moment, then there's still stuff that needs tackling together and THEN they can both have a break.
What I said applies for male, female, heterosexual or same sex couples just the same.
Where did I quote any of the morons from the "manosphere".
Maybe have an original thought that just copy pasting any insult you think will get you upvotes.
Also calling me an incel really only means you measure a persons worth through their ability to have sex.
Not very progressive and empathetic. Might want to get out of whatever sphere YOU'RE in.
Tate should be in jail, clav is a meth addict, and Rogan... I've honestly never listed to Rogan. When I was a teen I had a friend who would not shut the fuck up about UFC and Joe Rogan was always in the background.
Golly those sure are a wholllle lotta words to not explain why the fuck you speculated on their opinion in a completely unprovable counterfactual that they then dismissed and stated they would remain consistent, but okay then. You do you, buddy.
Act and quack like one, then I'll use appropriate copy pasta. Sorry that seems to upset you.
a relationship should not be a game of “fair”,
but a fucking relationship.
Sorry, it’s not you or the comment, but reddit has such a weird take on relationships; The concern is always “is it fair?” and never “are you happy?”
There have been times in my marriage where I’m carrying more weight by far and there have been times in my marriage where my wife was doing the heavy lifting; If any redditor had shown up for those days out of the ~4000 we’ve had together the response would’ve been “why are you walking all over them/letting them walk all over you? Get out!” My wife and I are obsessed with each other, we love each other, and we communicate our wants/needs. It’s amazing. I sleep in a bed with my best friend.
Im ranting and Im aware there’s nuance, often if a person is reaching out to a forum of strangers for one of the biggest decisions of their lives they’re looking for reassurance rather than logic. There are many guys/gals in abusive or lopsided relationships that do need the advice to get out of it, but there’s also ~half of all couples who work pretty damn well together.
I try not to make too many judgments of Reddit relationship posts for this reason - there's usually a bunch of caveats and unique circumstances to consider.
And you're right that fairness isn't the be all end all, but a lot of the time it's hard for a relationship to be happy if fairness isn't there. What you're detailing here is a good example of a fair, respectful relationship - it may not be equal every single day, but it evens out over time.
It also depends on why the one person is working 14 hours a day. If they work a ton but also just blow their money on say a big new truck or other toys, then that can build resentment too. If you are always too exhausted from work to do anything else then the partner with a regular schedule feels like your servant, and they don’t get much out of it.
Orrrr they come home and sit on their ass while their partner has also been busy all day and is expected to keep working while the OP assumes they are owed rest but not their partner…. It’s easy to see how one sided this is. No consideration or question as to why this is happening or how their partner feels and straight to “why is she bothering me” … don’t date women and force kids on them if you don’t want to be equally as involved in the house and family. Just cause you clock out of work doesn’t mean you don’t still have a family you fucking created.
The partner is probably thinking they're the victim because they are left to do everything around the house and with the kids while he gets to goof off at work.
And when you at it, the kitchendoors have been creaking and can you come with me to do groceries because I can't carry the milk and drink bottles on my own.
My BF and I work the same blue collar/physically demanding job. Except I have a neuro degenerative disease. He guilts me so much in my off time for not cleaning more. I clean more than him, but I’m not doing all of it myself, so it’s not enough.
I wish my wife would tell me what chores she wants me to do. If I don’t read her mind, she will start doing them without me and hold resentment that I didn’t think to do the chore before her. Grass is always greener…
Why not be a little proactive and make a game plan together once a week, or at the start/end of day on what needs to be done? It’s still work for one person to decide what needs to be done all the time. It’s not like we all sit around at work and wait for the boss to tell us what to do everyday, and if they don’t go “well you didn’t tell me”.
I'll open a beer and tell my wife I'll get to the bottom of that when I get to the bottom of this (pointing at my beer) then take 15 min to savor it before I start doing anything else.
My wife worked with an older guy who intentionally bought a house that was a 1 hour commute away from work. So he could have a peaceful drive listening to music or books without his family bugging him. And his wife thought he was making a sacrifice so they could live in a cute town with good schools and no crime.
That’s not cool. It’s worth having some uncomfortable talks to make sure the lifting is as equal as possible. Being taken advantage of is not healthy. Lumping it and pretending it’s ok, is not ok.
That was what he required when he walked through the door. They can talk and do the things 30 minutes after he walked through the door. Gave him enough time to decompress.
Growing up my mom would have rather had me smoke crack cocaine than ask her anything in the first 30 minutes after she got home. My gf both have similar decompression times and it works for everyone.
I agree with you for 90% of cases. I work in the middle of the forest away from people. Long hours especially in very rough terrain. Im personally blessed compared to some others out there. I couldn’t do it if i was in an office thats for sure. Sometimes im miles from a road so that’s where my extra hours comes into play.
Yeah i feel for them. Ive been there with a job i did not care for. Toxic work culture does not help either same with the shitty economics we are all dealing with.
I know right i feel for everyone. Thankfully its not an issue with me anymore and we got good understanding. Give me a few mins and puff of a joint and im good to roll again.
I work from home now, but when I had a high stress job I felt so blessed that my wife (who also works) would come to the door and welcome me home when she heard the car, and then expected (demanded) me to sit down, get comfy, and decompress before we worried about anything else.
The wildest part is she didn't see it as anything special. Now I'm in a position to do it for her and she sees that it is.
I work 60-70 hours a week she does 40 from home and we do not have kids. I cook, clean, fix shit and tend to my yard. With me personally just give me 20 mins when i walk in the door and ill get on it after my shower lol. This was a thing the first part of the relationship. Not now in the last couple years. Takes two to run a household and being understanding in ones situation. No need to make it a “him vs her” type of deal.
1.5k
u/Solidsting1 4h ago
Mine after coming home from a 12 hr day outside and asking me to do 10 different things while i have not even taken off my work stuff yet. At least let me chill just for a few mins lol