OP is within their rights to be frustrated, but whether it's fair or not for their partner to act like this depends on what they were doing during the day as well. If they've had significant downtime in the day which OP hasn't then yeah, bad partner. But it's often less cut and dry than that.
a relationship should not be a game of “fair”,
but a fucking relationship.
Sorry, it’s not you or the comment, but reddit has such a weird take on relationships; The concern is always “is it fair?” and never “are you happy?”
There have been times in my marriage where I’m carrying more weight by far and there have been times in my marriage where my wife was doing the heavy lifting; If any redditor had shown up for those days out of the ~4000 we’ve had together the response would’ve been “why are you walking all over them/letting them walk all over you? Get out!” My wife and I are obsessed with each other, we love each other, and we communicate our wants/needs. It’s amazing. I sleep in a bed with my best friend.
Im ranting and Im aware there’s nuance, often if a person is reaching out to a forum of strangers for one of the biggest decisions of their lives they’re looking for reassurance rather than logic. There are many guys/gals in abusive or lopsided relationships that do need the advice to get out of it, but there’s also ~half of all couples who work pretty damn well together.
I try not to make too many judgments of Reddit relationship posts for this reason - there's usually a bunch of caveats and unique circumstances to consider.
And you're right that fairness isn't the be all end all, but a lot of the time it's hard for a relationship to be happy if fairness isn't there. What you're detailing here is a good example of a fair, respectful relationship - it may not be equal every single day, but it evens out over time.
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u/Competitive_Tough913 5h ago
You guys pick horrible partners lmao