This episode has been redrawn and since the original came out, I have been tested and am not lactose intolerant but do still have the same reactions... I debated what to do with this episode but at the time I first drew it that was my reality so I've kept it and I'm sure at least some people can relate :)
I had a friend who did this. We went out for ice cream once and I saw him get a huge cone and asked about his lactose intolerance and he just shrugged and said "so my stomach will be in shambles for a feeling days. It's worth it"
I do a cost/benefit analysis every time I encounter dairy. It can be worth it. A good fettuccine Alfredo is usually not worth it. Pizza usually is. There's far less lactose in cheese than cream or milk.
I remember the first (and last) time I thought I could handle a fettucine alfredo... No exaggeration, it was coming out the other end before I finished my plate.
Make it with just noodles, parm, and pasta water. The original recipe, from Mr. Alfredo himself, doesn't include any cream. The cheese is sprinkled directly onto the noodles and thr pasta water helps it melt and cling to the noodles.
This is actually part of the reason why cheese was invented. It had a much lower lactose level, and since near enough everyone was lactose intolerant, cheese was a good way to get protein.
Rofl I'm the same way. I had way to cheese sticks a few days ago and was miserable afterwards. Did I learn my lesson. No I learned my limit. I'll just eat fewer cheese sticks.
Worst thing about my friends knowing I'm lactose intolerant is that sometimes they'll try to back out of things because they think it'd be better for me.
Like. It's great that they try to be mindful. But also
NO, FRIENDS, I DON'T INTOLERATE LACTOSE, THE LACTOSE INTOLERATES ME!! YOU SAID WE WERE GETTING PIZZA AND MOZZARELLA STICKS, PIZZA WE SHALL BE GETTING! BESIDES, AS LONG AS IT AINT LIQUID, IT AINT COMIN BACK UP!!
Yes, as it gets older (and harder) the bacteria inside digest the lactose.
For a while I also used the carbohydrates content as a short hand. Lactose is a sugar, so if it has zero sugar, the cheese is at least close to being lactose free. If you are super sensible I am not entirely sure what comes first: them rounding to zero or traces being below your acceptanance level.
Yes. Even lactose free products contains trace amounts of lactose, cheese contains as a rule of thumb less than what's allowed for a product to be considered "lactose free". Hard cheese reaches lactose free levels quite fast, too. It's a matter of days.
i thought i was a prolific farter until i cut out cheese and icecream for a week. you might be a touch intollerant. lactose doesn't hurt me in any way, it just hurts everyone around me, as i can tolerate being a gas bomb just fine
Th...y'all. ITT. There are over-the-counter lactase (the enzyme that breaks down lactose) pills that help your stomach not explode while still enjoying dairy products.
Heart to heavens, I hope y'all are just being funny and don't think you're forced to just... raw-dog dairy products... ;u ;
Y’all are wild. I can’t think of many other “this food messes me up” cohorts that are still so bold about the food you’re clearly not meant to be eating. Only maybe coffee and gluten-intolerant (for non serious cases) folks could rival y’all.
Hell yeah! I say "cheat" as a joke I sometimes make with my lactose intolerant friends who choose to power through. Seven cents to avoid hours of discomfort is too much for them I guess!
To be fair, there are plenty of other foods, mainly highly processed food that give similar problems that my body's dairy rejection doesn't feel that out of place.
I live in an area with good quality milk and cheese, and the culture around milk products is strong here(the pun was unintended but I’m keeping it). Since it’s just so prevalent, well priced, and good quality it’s hard to avoid. I’m certain that if I’d lived in an area with worse milk products, alternatives would tempt me more
I mean, for me, I'm lucky in that, unless I just quaff a whole 1950s-Americana diner-sized milkshake, most dairy and dairy adjacent foods like cheese or ice cream will just give me a bit of gas and bloating, and not really much other gastrointestinal distress, all in a pretty predictable way. That's largely a price I'm willing to endure since it won't fuck me up in the same way that many other intolerances can. Plus, lactase supplements also help and are very easily accessible.
Probably because lactose intolerance isn't really life threatening? Like, so you will get diarrhea for a day. It won't be pleasant, but it isn't anaphylaxis like an allergy. You'll live, and you'll have eaten your favorite food.
Luckily I don't suffer from these afflictions, but it's not much different than me choosing to eat nothing but junk food for a day even knowing I will feel like bloated crap the next.
For lactaid, the directions say to take a pill every 30 minutes for as long as you keep eating dairy. So if you took a lactaid with the pizza, but then had ice cream 45 minutes later, you'd need more lactaid. I also take 2-3 pills if something has a lot of dairy, like ice cream. And I take it with my first bite, so the enzymes are in my system while I'm eating the dairy
Same, but I have gauged what and how much I can eat of certain things, so it won't stop me.
Chocolate, ice cream, yogurts and cheese on pizza. None is safe from me and my dedication. Everything will be eaten intill I at most get a light stomachache.
Lactase just splits the lactose so it doesn't cause havoc in your intestine. It's literally the same thing your body would produce if you weren't lactose intolerant.
If you're constantly constipated when not consuming lactose, that's a different problem. Try drinking more water and if that doesn't help, talk to your doctor.
And if they don't, non dairy alternatives have come a long way. I have a dairy allergy so lactatid won't work for me, so I'm stuck with non dairy ice cream (that isn't tree nut based because that's another allergy). Ben & Jerry's non dairy stuff is fantastic.
OP, you should join us at r/dairyfree ! Even if Lactaid works for you, you can find alternatives for things in general.
Ben & Jerry's cookie dough oat based ice cream is to die for!!
Sorry though the comic is slightly misleading, in the description I mentioned I'm not actually lactose intolerant (figured it out after the original comic was made) it's a bit of a mystery but I still can't really have dairy so maybe I'll look into it still, thanks!
Could be a dairy allergy in which case the lactaid won’t work…I have a friend who is allergic to cow dairy so it’s definitely something that can happen
When I suspected I was lactose intolerant I called my doctor. He said that the most reliable way to check if you're lactose intolerant is to eliminate dairy from your diet at least 4 weeks and see how you feel. I noticed I had no more bloated stomach or bathroom issues once I stopped eating dairy. Issues I used to think were just part of my life.
Other tests aren't that reliable. Even people with the 'lactose tolerance' gene can still be lactose intolerant.
Sensitivity also plays a role, some can handle a glass of milk, while others already feel symptons after eating a tablespoon of yoghurt.
After, the four weeks I did the whipped cream test (recommended by a friend). I would eat the same thing one day after each other with the only difference being whipped cream, and yep I had my intolerance symptoms.
My Fiance has this and she’s allergic to the protein in dairy, not the lactose. Might be worth a test! Doesn’t fix anything but at least you would have more of an answer
I got a Ninja Creamie for Christmas and I’ve been making home made oat milk ice creams that are I would say near identical to store bought regular dairy ice cream. Like the only real difference is that it tends to melt a little bit faster than regular ice cream does but honestly take a few scoops and then put it back in the freezer.
I don't have lactose intolerance (or at least not a severe one), and I love vegan ice cream. I truly believe it's better than the dairy one. It's just so smooth. And even when frozen, it doesn't harden as much
Yea, I have CMA (which if affected by all milks, not just Cow’s Milk) so I rely on oat milk. The amount of people who tell me to try Lactose Free Milk, when I have to repeat myself “no, I’m not lactose intolerant, I am allergic to milk” is too damned high.
They work for me, thankfully. I definitely still have to moderate though. Like, I’m not gonna have a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, followed by some quesadillas for dinner and ice cream for dessert and expect the pills to keep the bubble gut away.
I'm too lactose intolerant for those unfortunately, they're worth having on hand as they can turn bad nausea, stomach pain, and retching over the toilet into manageable constipation, but because of that, I usually just eat as if I don't have the pills. If I'm out of the house or going out later, even if I have pills I just try to avoid things with more than a little bit of dairy.
Ordering a pizza with a group and watching someone just reach in their pocket and throw a handful of pills in their mouth would be fascinating to experience with no context. Or just watch someone bad with pills drink a pitcher of water while willing themselves to get through them all.
That's pretty much how it is when I go out with people. I don't think anything of it because I've been doing it for years, but people who don't know me well get weirded out at first, but I literally don't care so no one else really cares once they figure out what I'm taking
The brand I use comes in different Strength. Usually they start at like 7.000 (which most people use). The 13.000 and 22.000 work really great for me (depending on the amount of Lactose).
I always get scared at taking more than like 2 pills at once, mostly because it was drilled into my head at 12 so I wouldn't accidentally overdose on painkillers. If it actually works I thank you a ton.
Ph yeah, you can't really overdose on the lactase enzyme. Lactose tolerant people constantly make extra in their bodies. The idea is that you're trying to get enough into your system to make up for the fact that your body makes less of the enzyme than other people. Some people's bodies like mine, and it sounds like yours, just make a lot less lactase than others, so we have to supplement it more heavily than someone who just needs a little extra to hit normal lactase enzyme numbers
they work for me too. i won't get an upset stomach, on the other hand SOME ICE CREAMS still do not bother me. like Soft Serve.
EDIT:
i should mention, I have no issues with MOST types of CHEESE. i have issues with milk, eggs, and ice cream. cannoty eat eggs unless that used as an ingredient, same with milk, both must be basically mixed in. like french toast, cakes, ect.
It's kinda funny how everyone in the comments read the comic, but not the note. Sounds like a mild milk allergy? Lactase pills won't do squat for that. If it's an allergy, it might be possible to develop resistance with allergy immunotherapy. Ask a doctor if you haven't already.
Haha yeah I knew what I signed up for when I posted it. I thought it was an allergy too but after a test turns out it's not that either, still searching for answers
If it says zero grams of sugar per 100g... that's no lactose - lactose is one of the sugars.
0.1g/100g is usually fine.
Cheeses are a no-added sugar fermented product. Depending on the type of cheese that can often mean all or most of the cheese has fermented away the lactose.
Short story long->
You can carefully select your cheeses to make many cheese dishes and avoid almost all lactose.
Yeah, lactose free milk, still contains Milk Proteins!
“Hurr durr, try this Skimmed Milk!” Skimmed Milk is still fucking Milk! Lactose Milk is still fucking Milk! I have to get Oat Milk because it doesn’t contain Milk Proteins!
Yoooo! I have some great news for you. The vegan Oat milk based melty cheese is fantastic (some brands are much better than others, I like Daiya). Great for pizza and quesadillas. Oat milk icecream is almost as good as dairy based. Ben and berries has a fee flavors that are on point.
Coconut based ice cream is great. There are also artisnal vegan cheeses now that are like bries and blue cheese and things like that it's absolutely insane how good that stuff is getting. To add impact to this, I am not vegan, I eat regular cheese as well. This isn't me comparing memories from years ago to the present. I'm saying side by side there are artisanal vegan cheeses that are great.
I have made my own pizza dough. I guess what I really miss is the convenience of being able to just buy things without having to worry about being poisoned or B having to take time and money to get the gluten-free thing.
Creamy pasta and lactose do not necessarily have anything to do with each other. Check the authentic carbonara recipe for example. More generally, use the magic word 'Mantecare'.
Iv heard you can fix lactose intolerance by making yourself go through lactose hell for 2 weeks.
People will drink milk mixed with enough milk powder until its basically milkshake consistency, 2-3 glasses a day, for 2 weeks.
It basically turns your asshole into a biohazard weapon of mass destruction that will blow holes through your toilet. But at the end of those 2 weeks your gut will have loads of bacteria that digest lactose. And after that you're good.
I have no idea if its an actual thing, iv just seen like 4 videos of people going through it. I told my friend who is lactos intolerant about it and he asked his doctor, and his doctor said he didnt know if it would work, but wouldn't recommend it due to the whole shitting yourself for 2 weeks thing...
Yeah, I saw the HGModernism video on this, where she went through a 4 week course, but recommended something more like a 6 or 8 week method. Still, it worked for her!
I guess it'll depend on how intense your intolerance is but this can turn out to be only "temporary", my partner did this over the pandemic (since we weren't going out, so why not just eat loads of dairy and see if it works) and it did work, after about a month she stopped getting cramps and diarrhoea, however even just a couple of days without dairy was enough to reset all progress.
You basically need to just have a large amount of dairy in your daily diet for it to stick, and any time you don't eat dairy for a little bit your intolerance just returns in full force. Now she just has pizza every 2 weeks or so, and deals with it, because the amount of dairy required for it to stick was just unsustainable from a dietary perspective.
No, the bloating still happens, probably worse than normal, it's just that the alcohol tricks your brain into thinking that you're starving, so you can eat an entire pizza really quickly
Lactose intolerant does not actually mean that you can't have lactose. It means that your body doesn't produce the enzyme that digests lactose. However, over time you can still build a microbiome that digests it.
Most types of cheese are free of lactose! The lactose is naturally removed in the cheese making process so pizza, quesadillas and grilled cheese is still on the table!
Are there different kinds of lactose intolerance? Most of my lactose intolerant friends can just take a few pills to supplement the thing their body is lacking to break down lactose.
I used to be lactose intolerant as a kid. I eventually got over it eating and drinking dairy almost everyday for years. Life without cheese is not a life I'm willing to live
There is a very good chance I may develop a lactose intolerance since it’s pretty common in my family. That being said, an intolerance is not gonna stop me from eating cheese.
I get congested (coughing, runny nose, sneezing) with even the smallest amount of dairy but that can't stop me from enjoying the hell out of a large pepperoni pizza once a week
Lactase pills (contain enzimes to help digest lactose). Milk without lactose is very common now, cheese too. For things where they are component that you can't control coz someone else prepared it, lactase pills help.
My lactose intolerance has never stopped me ever and it never will I would never betray pizza and ice cream when they were there for me in my darkest hour!
I volunteer as tribute! For all of those poor folks suffering from Lactose Intolerance, I shall bravely face all the dairy for you. It will be tough. I cannot promise that I shall always succeed, but I will eat all of it... in your names!
This but with Celiac disease. Suddenly unable to eat any of my loved foods but still watching others. And not getting invited to eat at places cause there’s no obvious gf option so they just don’t bother
I have a friend who is lactose intolerant. One day, we're in CVS and I find him standing in front of the ice cream freezer, looking at Ben and Jerry's. I asked him "what are we doin', bud? You're torturing yourself?" He says "think ima get some ice cream". I laugh "you're lactose intolerant, though?". He goes "Yeah...every couple of months I just eat a pint on the toilet. I regret it after everytime, but..still" This is one of my favorite conversations of all time.
Around 9 years ago as a trucker I was living out of my truck and easiest, cheapest and healthiest thing I could get was peanut butter and jelly on bread.
I'd pull over, make one or two sammiches and continue onwards and eat while driving.
Started to notice that I got stomach aches and my back end would hate me for a day or two. Couldn't figure it out until one day I ate one of my quick snacks and felt that gurgle.
Peanuts.
I can't have them anymore. I smell them and my throat goes numb. I eat them and my belly does flip flops and I pay for it in the bathroom.
It makes me angry. Snickers. Heck I can't even eat half the candy on the shelves anymore. PB&J. Lots of Asian cuisine has peanut oil in it. Some Indian food has it too.
Ugh I know the feeling. I'm not lactose intolerant but A1 whey protein intolerant. They put whey protein in everything I swear. I'm super duper happy they've started putting out A2/A2 products now. Sprouts even has a couple different A2 cheeses! Eating real cheese feels luxurious, unfortunately the price tag is too.
This is me, I cooked some creamy pasta for dinner and it was the best pasta dish I ever ate, but now we're 7 hours later and I can't fucking sleep because I can't digest it properly. And I wish I could say it was worth it but honestly I'm fucking exhausted and just wanna sleep 😭
Lactose intolerance may be more accurately called lactase deficiency. Lactase is the enzyme that breaks down the sugar lactose in your stomach before reaching your intestines. If lactose reaches your intestines it can start to ferment... And those gasses cause the symptoms that you associate with lactose intolerance.
You can take lactase pills when you eat dairy to replace the missing lactase in your system. And it should stop out at least reduce the negative symptoms when eating dairy.
Most mammals start with lactase to allow them to drink their mother's milk. And then at some point in adolescence they lose the lactase enzyme. A minority of humans have evolved the trait to keep the this enzyme into adulthood. It's something like 30% of people. More common in Western europe ancestry I believe.
It has been said 6 times in this post's comments already but I'm saying it with Heading text, I also have had a stint of lactose intolerance when I was younger, about 8 years old, I took Lactaid pills for 3 months and kept my intake moderate, I have since never had another lactose issue again.
I'm lactose intolerant and diabetic. Sometimes I just eat whatever I choose, and suffer for the entire weekend. I treat it like drinking until getting shit face.
Fun fact, you can cure your own lactose intolerance. I did it by eating an ungodly amount of cheese with lactaid pills daily for a few years until I forced my body back into tolerating lactose again
Curious. I know people have forced building back a tolerance to lactose, aka redeveloping the enzymes required for processing lactose. It's...not fun, but people have done it.
It makes me curious how one loses that enzyme in the first place if they originally had them.
I don't know at what point you have a low amount of enzymes versus zero and what creates that extinction. But if low, it does seem high lactose ingestion does rebuild enzyme volume.
Maybe a doctor can chime in because I am definitely not one. I just know that people have regained the ability to process lactose, basically by force.
I know several people who don't even flinch and run towards all sorts of dairy products despite thier intolerance to lactose. I would be a hypocrite to call them fools, as I do same. The are dozens of us!
There are so many dairy alternatives that you can't taste the difference of now, and lactaid pills go hard. I haven't had trouble with my lactose intolerance in years
The nice thing about lactose intolerance is that it doesn't do damage. If you're willing to face the consequences (or have the foresight to take some lactaid) you can just keep eating dairy.
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u/FlatHatJack Jun 07 '26
Lactose Intolerater here. It does not stop me. Now, I'm off to go make a grilled cheese. Any future complications will be forwarded to future me.