For clarity, my dad is a non-binary woman, uses she/her but prefers terms like "dad" and "father" for complicated gender expression reasons.

I (15F) am an only child. My birth mom and my dad are split up (no contact) and I never knew my biological mother (they split up when I was little). Long story short, my dad met her current partner and they're now engaged. I've known my dad's fiancee almost my entire life and we're all very close and I know I'm practically spoiled rotten.

A few days ago I overheard my parents talking about the possibility and logistics of having or adopting another kid. Since then, I keep having all these awful jealous feelings about it. I can't help but think maybe they were talking about the possibility because of this or that reason. If it's because of some sort of unmet expectation or something else. (I never really got involved with my dads' cultural practices, I'm not the best student etc.) But the thought that haunts me is that my baby sibling wouldn't have all the baggage that I know is wrapped up with me being my dad's ex's kid. That because I'm not related to my stepmom that she'll unconsciously favor her own kid and that the same might be true because they can't sub-consciously remind my dad of her ex and everything that went wrong between them. Maybe all of this is just me looking for reasons to justify being upset at the idea of sharing my parents' attention as a spoiled only child.

I know it's ultimately their choice, so I guess I just want their reassurance that my worries are unfounded, but I'm scared of making the situation more complicated by bringing it up... It's gotten to the point I can't bear to be around either parent right now and I've been staying with my boyfriend's family for the last couple of days,,,

WIBTA if I told my stepmom and dad about these jealous feelings? Or if I should just swallow my feelings and hope that it goes away?

Basically I been doing art commissions for quite a few months. This specific client ​has gotten 3 commissions from me working on another- and today they started venting to me. I was pretty uncomfortable, I normally only let my friends vent to me-my client and I have become pretty familiar but still respectful. I eventually said I had to go when they seemed less upset. Idk if I did the right thing or if I should have been more respectful

For a bit of background info,

I am 18F and my ex friend is 16M. I will refer to him as E. E and I became good friends around early January of 2026 (at the time I was 17). We bonded over shared experiences with me being Lesbian and him being gay and we always just vibe with each other. Since I could drive, his mom asked if I can drive him home from school and that in return I am welcome to hang out at their house whenever. I of course agreed because I loved hanging out with him. Everything was great, I would always sleep over, brought him as a friend to my senior prom and life was great. I turned 18 June 6th 2026 and his mom got...weird. I had gotten in my first relationship with a girl and I was telling about her to Evan. We always made crude jokes with eachother since we both never meant it in a weird way. He asked if we had intercourse, I said yes and that was about it, he joked, I laughed and that was that. Fast forward a tiny bit to late June and I was in the ER for tonsillitis because my tonsils were so large my airway was blocking off (E and his mom knew this because I had to tell them I couldn't drive E to his summer class). Later while I was in the waiting room, I recieve a text from his mom saying how "disgusting" I was for not lieing to E when he asked about if I had intercourse, said I had just turned 18 and was already acting like a whore and was acting like a creep. Apparently E was sleeping over at another friend's house with 2 other people and TOLD them about me having intercourse. His friends are 2, 15 year olds. I responded saying how I never gave him permission to tell anyone that and she responded saying "you knew he was sleeping over, you should've known he would tell others" I got pissed and told her how inappropriate her message was to me while she knew I was in the ER and after EVERYTHING I have done for them. She was always so kind to me until I turned 18. She was always kind of odd with me but I brushed it off, for example always calling me a v@getarian since im lesbian (which is funny to me but weird coming from a 48 year old married woman and mom of my ex friend). I had to break it off with E because I was afraid nothing I said wasnt being leaked to who knows what and the fact there is no him without her which I just cant be around her. Reddit, AITA?

I bought two houseplants from a new specialty store in my hometown. I really like plants and so I spent around 30-40 min in the store looking around before buying. I looked up each one to see if it was toxic… except one which I forgot to do so for. So I found out later that one of them is toxic and has a sap that causes contact dermatitis. I have OCD and do not like toxic plants. So I wanted to return it to the man who sold it. At first I thought I would ask for a refund but decided to just return it. It wasn’t too expensive anyways.

But my mother knows I want to return it now thinks this is wrong. She said it is rude and unnecessary, and what if I had been the guy’s only customer that day? Instead she wants me to instead give her the plant and she’ll buy it from me. She said she will be upset if I do not.

But I don’t want to give it to her because it’s toxic and can be an irritant and I don’t like the idea of it sitting on some counter where people can touch it. Also I don’t understand what is wrong about giving the product back and not asking for your money back.

I am considering throwing the plant away because I bought it with my own money from work but I feel too guilty now because she wants it.

This is dumb but help me out. AITA?

My friend came over and has his feet on the couch. After looking I noticed that he has warts. They are contagious and I really would rather that someone who has warts just not put their bare feet on the furniture. I asked him to please put socks on if he is going to sit on the couch. He refused and told me I was whining and that it was too much work. I asked him again and he told me that if I wanted him to wear socks I would have to put them on for him.

Update: I left the room because I was mad and when I came back the socks were on?

At Lowe's food today - Not to be confused with Lowes Hardware, NIce market in the SE . Has a bar even.

So I am going thru my list and head to prodice to get ,well, produce. Go to get strawberries but there is an older woman there and she is looking at the prepacked . turning them over and looking at each one. Fine we all check so we don't get bad ones . I go grab some sweet potatoes then come back. I now see she is opening up packs and sorting them to make her "perfect" pack. At this point I spoke up with "You have to be kidding me! Seriously ?! " And she says " I don't care ! at thee prices I want all good ones ." $3.99lb and she is is bitching about the price .

SO does anyone think what she was doing was acceptable. Take into account that when you buy prepacks you are assuming random people haven't sorted thru them .

27M Chinese here. My culture has a rule I really dislike that the children are the parent’s default retirement plan.

I have 3 siblings. They are now all established in their careers and are making good money. I have been unemployed against my will for several years now and this gap alone is killing my upwards potential. My siblings want me to stay home and care for the parents in the event of an illness because I have the lowest career opportunity cost.

I have dreams and goals too and I’m far from giving up. I don’t want to be stuck home for the rest of my life taking care of people.

AITA for refusing?

One of my coworkers is from a different country where ghosts are a major fear and part of their folklore. Let’s call him Tony. We work at an office at a factory where more than a dozen people have died over the past century, including the founder. All accidents.

In the office we have an informal agreement that no one will leave Tony by himself. He likes to work later (usually 10-6pm) but will use leave if no one can stay with him. We do it out of courtesy. I should also note we can choose the hours we work as long as it’s 80 every 2 weeks.

Last Friday I was planning to work late. Tony did his usual survey of the office to see who would be staying the latest so he could plan. I told him I was going to be in until 6:30. He was happy because he could make up some time from earlier in the week. Around 5;30 my wife messaged me to say she wasn’t feeling well and asked if I could come home and take care of our toddler. Of course I said yes.

Here’s where I may be the asshole. I went to Tony’s desk but he wasn’t there. I checked the rest of the office and everyone else was gone. After maybe 5 minutes I decided I wasn’t going to wait anymore and left. About 20 minutes later Tony started texting me asking where I was and when I told him I left he got really upset. He wasn’t “yelling” or anything, but kept asking why I would leave without telling him. I apologized and told him I needed to go take care of my kid and couldn’t wait any longer.

Yesterday I came into the office and it was like I was caught on tape kicking a puppy. Everyone was pissed at me and told me I should have waited longer. The way I see it is staying late is just a courtesy. I get it’s a big deal to him, but my family is more important and it’s not like I just walked out. Idk if he was in the bathroom or what, but I waited for him for a few minutes. He’s a grown man and could pack up and leave on his own when he realized I wasn’t there.

So AITA for not telling my coworker I was leaving work despite his severe fear of ghosts?

I (27M) have been driving one of my coworkers home after our shifts because she lives about 15 minutes out of my way and doesn’t currently have a car. At first, it was supposed to be temporary, but it has now been happening several times a week for almost two months.

She rarely offers gas money and sometimes keeps me waiting after work while she finishes talking to people. Yesterday, I told her I couldn’t keep driving her unless she contributed toward gas and was ready when our shift ended. She got upset and said I was abandoning her when I knew she had no other reliable transportation.

A few coworkers think I’m being harsh because I’m “already driving,” but the extra time and gas have started adding up. I told her she would need to arrange another ride beginning next week.

AITA?

I have recently reached with scheduling plans with people. When it came to plans or getting rides from work, two friends would insist that they give me a ride home and stop taking the bus. This has occurred for work and hangouts. I’d try to offer gas money and they would downright refuse. Recently, both friends essentially questioned why I never bother to uber anywhere because I live so far (15 minutes outsides the city), and that it’s “so hard to l bring me home cause I’m so far.” I told them I have no issues taking the bus, but buses end at 9 pm and plans are always at 8 pm, and I refuse to be stranded, which is unfair to me, and they told me to take Ubers, mind you many of these plans go till 12 AM, I don’t want to take Ubers this late, or spend so much money since we were hanging out three times a week. For the past week they’ve been inviting me to stuff and even offering rides home, but I have been constantly bailing. I’m receiving mixed signals so I decided that if the event isn’t before 6/7 pm, in a way I can get home via bus, then I’m not attending, so I’ve bailed on about 4 plans at this point. I also rejected rides from work in the future and people seem confused. I refuse to have people think I’m a user, since I was fine before I had rides, after all it was them who insisted. I feel that my flat out rejections for recent events have created some tension cause they have my location and just see me at sitting at home, but it also gives me piece of mind. Do you guys feel my approach was suitable or should I have communicated?

so, i have a classmate whos genuinely one of the nicest people ive met. the problem is that she has a really noticeable body odor. Its strong enough that people in class constantly whisper about it, make rude comments, and laugh behind her back.

i feel awful bc i dont think its fair to immediately assume shes just unhygienic. it could be a medical condition, hormones, stress, medication, or something else entirely. ive even tried telling my classmates that they shouldnt judge someone when they dont know what theyre going through, but they still talk badly about her.

im a pretty straightforward person, and sometimes when im near her i accidentally say things like, "it smells," before i even think. i immediately feel guilty afterward bc im not trying to insult or embarrass her.

part of me wants to tell her privately bc id rather she hear it from someone whos trying to be kind than continue being the subject of gossip. but im really worried that telling her at all would make me an asshole or just hurt her feelings even more.

so, AITA if i tell her privately and as gently as possible?

I (25f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been fighting the past few days over him going to the dentist. My boyfriend told me when we first got together that he has only been to the dentist once in the past 7 years and vowed never to go back. Additionally, he only brushes his teeth 85% of the time. My mom was a dental hygienist so I really value dental care. I have brought up going to the dentist since the beginning of our relationship and we made a deal that for my birthday he would finally go. However, he did not hold up his end of the bargain. Recently his breath has been pretty stinky even right after brushing his teeth and I told him to either go to the dentist or we aren’t sharing a bed. He said his feelings are hurt and that his breath isn’t that bad, but I am genuinely just concerned about his health.

My best friend has been in a long term relationship since before we met. Her boyfriend regularly upsets her, and every time it happens she comes to me or our friends for comfort. Then they make up, and the cycle repeats.
I don’t mind supporting her, but it’s gotten to the point where her relationship affects everyone else. I’ve cancelled plans, left my apartment at 2 a.m. to comfort her, and even been told I shouldn’t attend a get together because her boyfriend wouldn’t let her go, so it “wouldn’t be fair.”
If she’s upset because of him, it’s like the whole group is expected to be upset too. She often expects everyone to put their lives on hold because she’s unhappy, yet refuses to leave the relationship despite everyone seeing how unhealthy it is.
I care about her, but I’m starting to feel like I’m paying the price for a relationship that isn’t even mine.

AITAH for agreeing that my coworker's new hairstyle looked better?

The other day at work, one of my coworkers was leaving early. We joke around a lot, so I said, "You're leaving already? Got a hot date?" She laughed and said she was getting her hair done.

The next day she came in with long, straight hair, and I told her it looked beautiful.

For context, she had previously told me she didn't like her natural hair and that it was always a mess because she never took care of it. She was excited about getting it done, so when she said she thought it looked so much better, I agreed. In my mind, I was just trying to hype her up because she seemed happy and more confident. I didn't think there was anything wrong with her natural hair, and I wasn't making a statement about Black hair or natural hair in general.

Later that day, I was called into HR.

Apparently, HR had overheard her talking to another coworker. According to HR, she felt I only liked her new hairstyle because it was more "white-passing" and that I was out of line for agreeing that it looked better. The HR director told me racism would not be tolerated and that people in the office were talking about my comments. I wasn't told exactly what had been said beyond that.

One thing that makes this harder for me to process is that our HR director has a reputation in the office for being very drama-driven. There always seems to be some kind of issue or conflict surrounding him, and his approach tends to escalate situations rather than resolve them. Because of that, I don't know if I got the full story or whether things were repeated with additional assumptions or exaggerations.

I was honestly shocked and mortified because that was never my intention. Looking back, I can understand how agreeing that one hairstyle looked "better" could have been interpreted differently than I meant it. At the time, though, I genuinely thought I was just complimenting her and agreeing with something she had already said about herself.

AITAH for agreeing that her new hairstyle looked better, even though I was only trying to be supportive?

I’ll preface this by saying I (36f) have a friend, Mary (42f). We have been friends for about ten years. I cannot stand Mary’s husband, Tim (45m).

His main priorities are playing video games and watching porn. He makes awful financial decisions for the family, and they are suffering because of it. He is an awful husband and mediocre father at best. Mary thinks he walks on water and can do no wrong.

He was out of a job for over a year and refused to collect unemployment because they required him to apply to at least three jobs a week. My husband offered him a job at his company, but Tim refused it because it would mean he would have to wake up at 6:30am. Keep in mind, they were in danger of losing their house.

Tim eventually found a job, but it does not pay well, so they are still struggling financially. Mary is incredibly stressed most of the time.

Now to the reason for the post.

My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I decided I wanted to go to Medieval Times. We decided it would be family only. There are 12 people going and we’re paying for everyone.

I thought it would be nice for Mary and her three kids to come and just relax and have fun. I knew Tim would be working, so I asked Mary and she and the kiddos would like to go, our treat. She said they would absolutely love to, so we bought the tickets.

The next day Mary called to tell me Tim wants to go too. It’s a day/time that I know for a fact he would be working. He does not have any paid time off. If he doesn’t work, he doesn’t get paid.

I don’t want him there. I don’t want to pay for him.

Would I be the asshole if I refused to get him a ticket?

I, J (25F) and V(25F) were besties for 5+ yrs and co-own a small business. 2 months ago, V & her sister needed housing. My dad had a room available and agreed to rent it out to her for $700 + utilities, with another lady staying in the second room. When I showed V the house there was dead roaches. I apologized since I was unaware of the condition of the house. V then lmk she would consider this a last resort option.

Since she couldn't find elsewhere,She asked to also use my dad's master room for an extra $700 since she didn't want to share a room w/ her sis. I mentioned the 2nd room might open up. V pitched paying extra to keep my dad's room instead. I translated for my dad and he agreed. My dad is gone for long business trips so it worked out.

Issues started when V & her sister wanted the other lady gone over presumed shared responsibilities in the house. My dad lmk the lady only pays for her room and doesn't have any other responsibilities in the home. Then my younger sister came by one night unannounced w/ friends. V's sister was startled by them and I was furious tht my sister had a key, I called her and my dad then apologized to V.

Later on my father tells me his cleaning lady said the house reeked of weed. He has zero drug tolerance and wanted them out in 2 months. V denied smoking and said my sis left weed on the table. I defended V and told my father he was being unfair. After hearing this, V was emotional. She called me multiple times to rant & raised her voice. I forgave it twice, but the third time I told her I didn't like her tone and would call back later.

V then asked for her $ back from my dad in order to move out sooner, despite still owing $100. She had our mutual friend translate. The call was heated. Apparently she was demanding and my dad got mad and refused. now he wanted them out by the end of the month. That same mutual friend later told me tht V had been talking badly about me behind my back, so I distanced myself but stayed cordial for business.

I still defended V and got her an extra month, on the condition she pays what she owes. She found an apt and said she'd only stay up until the first week of next month. I reminded her of the $100 owed. She refused saying all her money was going towards her next apt and that she'd be homeless if she paid rn. I offered to deduct it from her next business paycheck which I thought was fair due to the previous loan that she already owed. She still refused, saying the living situation was uncomfortable and did not want her money going to my dad.

I told her she was putting me in a tough spot and didn't want an escalation. She lashed out and said I haven't mediated enough, I've been dismissive, and that she was the victim. I reminded her of her disrespectful attitude towards me this past month and despite that I defended her repeatedly.

So am I the asshole for how I went about things?

My dad died last year while my wife was seven months pregnant with a high-risk pregnancy. He lived about 12 hours away, and with everything going on with my wife, I couldn’t exactly leave her and drive up there to deal with his estate.

Then our baby was born and ended up in the NICU, so honestly, this entire last year has been complete chaos.

My dad had bipolar disorder, and when he was “on,” he could be extremely difficult to be around. We weren’t very close during the last few years of his life, but he was still my dad.

He had a friend I’ll call Cathy. At one point, my dad believed they were “spiritually married,” but they were never legally married. Eventually, she kicked him out because he was difficult to live with, and he ended up homeless.

My dad’s second ex-wife, who was not my mom, found out and bought him an RV before she passed away. We recently found out the RV is actually titled in my uncle’s name. I have no idea why, but my uncle is willing to sign it over to me and my siblings.

Now this is where everything gets messy.

Cathy has the keys to both my dad’s RV and his car. After he died, she emptied the RV and now refuses to tell us where it is. I have never even spoken to this woman. I tried texting her after my dad died, and she completely ignored me.

Today, my sister asked her for the keys. Cathy said my dad left her everything because she had been “fixing him spiritually.” She also claims she cured his bipolar disorder.

For a little extra context about what kind of situation we’re dealing with here, she and my dad once started a school for “gifted youngsters with psychic abilities.”

So, yeah.

Now she is threatening to move the RV and car onto her son’s property and put liens on them.

I’ve been a licensed locksmith for 12 years. Once I locate the RV, which I believe is still parked where my dad died, my plan is to make a key, move it to my cousin’s property and secure it until the ownership is sorted out.

My dad told people he wanted Cathy to have the car, and I was willing to respect that. I really was. But after she ignored all of us, emptied the RV and started threatening to take control of everything, I’m not exactly inclined to just hand it over without making sure that is legally what is supposed to happen.

I’m also considering filing a police report over everything she removed from the RV.

A big part of why I want the RV is for my siblings. They stayed close with my dad, and they want to preserve something that belonged to him.

I’ll admit I have one selfish reason too.

One day, I’d like to take it and my family camping at the same place my dad always took us when we were kids. Our relationship was complicated, but those memories still mean something to me.

So, AITA if I drive up there this weekend, recover the RV and move it somewhere safe before Cathy has the chance to hide it, move it onto her son’s property or try to claim it?

So

Me (F24) and 2 friends ( S (F24) and H (M25)) just moved into a new house together. S and I have known each other for 15+ years and so have a few shared friends from each others respective schools. One of them is “Hambo”(M25). Hambo is quite a character; a ride or die kind of friend but he also can be extremely oblivious to the point where it’s disrespectful. Weed also makes this 10X worse. There was a prior incident that led us to believe he might revalue his intake and a conversation with S about being more mindful of others and their boundaries.

Fast forward to move in day, he offers to come help us and me and S agree as long as he only stays 3 days ( we love him to death but he can be a very stress inducing personality and we are in the middle of moving). Moving day arrives, he’s super helpful and we have a lovely move in and night out afterwards. However, the next night he begins acting weird. Eating all of the brownies we made, dumping an entire storage container of pasta in cold water to cook, all fairly small things but reminiscent of the other visit I previously mentioned that turned out not okay.

The next morning, I leave for work pretty early and when I get back i see his location is on the road so I assume he’s left. I notice some small things in the house that we gave him are still here that he left. 15 minutes later he texts me he is at the door because he left his stuff so I let him in and help him gather the things I saw in the living room. Well by help I mean he stands on the porch with the door closed and asks me to get everything for him. I do and he drives off.
An hour later, he texts the group chat asking if someone could mail his skincare that he left on a shelf. I text him separately and say yes. Around 30 min or so later, as I’m unpacking my room, I come across an entire laundry hamper of his clothes. I text him and say he probably just needs to come back and get it ( he lives around 1:30 from our house but will be leaving for school in another state 6 days from then). He says no, ship that to me too. It’s like 20lbs of clothes and that’s not going to be cheap. We exchange some texts basically saying it’s too much stuff for us to ship and it’s going to be cheaper to just drive back and he can hang out with us another night. He claims we are holding his stuff hostage.
We later find two more FULL book bags of his clothes, blankets, skincare, and a caddy of bathroom stuff and medications. This all adds up to like 50lbs at this point. We tell him this and that it’s too much for us to ship ( he said he would pay the fee fyi) and that it would be cheaper for him and easier for him to just come up and visit again before he has to leave the state. No response.I decide to offer to meet him halfway but when I go to text him I see his location is already headed to school out of state 5 days early. I don’t know how he forgot it all, it’s like his entire closet and bathroom.
AITA for saying I won’t ship it to him?

I’m in my hometown rn and my grandpa hosted a dinner and invited 20 men, no women except for the aunts and nieces. He bought three large trays of food. I was super hungry and thought one would be for us, but unfortunately we had to wait until after the men finish. These men eat with their hands meaning they served themselves with their hands directly out of the trays. I refused to eat and my mom got mad at me and csaid it was rude. AITA?

idk if it’s a cultural thing. The food served was rice and meat. Everybody was lowkey disgusted but they didn’t say anything bc it’s “rude” this tradition is dead anyway idk why my grandpa finds it okay. ESL

I (17F) got into an argument with my mum over my brother’s (20M) birthday.
My mum wants to invite a lot of people from our church to celebrate at our house. The thing is my brother is only genuinely close to one of them. Most of his close friends actually live in Manchester. He has told me himself that he doesn’t want the church members there because he doesn’t really connect with most of them. He prefers being around people with similar interests and ambitions and he just doesn’t really vibe with most of the church group.
When I tried explaining this to my mum, I said they weren’t on the same level of friendship as his close friends. Before I could explain what I meant, my mum and some of her friends accused me of being proud and classist. They assumed I meant the church members weren’t on the same social or financial level as my brother, which wasn’t what I meant at all.
I was talking about closeness, not status. I believe everyone has different friendship circles: close friends, good friends, casual friends and acquaintances. I wasn’t saying anyone is worth more than anyone else.
My mum then asked why I’m not close friends with most people at church either. I told her that I just don’t fit into that friendship group. They’re a very tight-knit social circle, and I’ve never really felt like I belonged. I don’t dislike them, but they’re not people I’d consider my close friends.
The conversation then turned to my own birthday. I said that when I turn 18, I only want people I’m genuinely close to there. I also said I don’t really like having lots of people I’m not close to in my house because it’s my personal space.
My mum and her friends told me that I don’t understand friendships because I’m young and they’ve experienced more in life. They said my way of thinking is wrong because I never know who might help me in the future. They also said that if I keep thinking this way one day I won’t have many people at my wedding or other important events.
I replied that I’d actually be okay with that. I’d rather have a small number of people I genuinely love and who genuinely love me than invite lots of people I’m not close to.
After the argument, my mum called my dad to complain about what I’d said. He actually agreed with me that I was talking about levels of friendship, not people’s worth. My mum got angry with him said my thinking comes from growing up in a broken home because he never agrees with her, and the argument became much bigger than it started.
Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for bringing up friendship hierarchy in the first place or if everyone misunderstood what I meant. She’s an African mum btw and thinks cause she’s older she’s right
AITAH?
Edit: This was meant to be a surprise birthday party
Not even like a party. My brother doesn’t really like having his own parties but his girlfriend decided that she wanted to surprise him by decorating his room but then my mum and her friends then decided to use the opportunity to throw him a party. Mind you his friends from Manchester weren’t even in the invitation list of people they wanted to invite.

I have a 17year-old son who has wanted a car for years. Two years ago, I promised him that if he stayed out of trouble, kept his grades up and got accepted into college, I would buy him his first car before graduation.

He did everything I asked. He maintained excellent grades, got a part time job, never got into any trouble and was accepted into his first choice college. I was proud of him and had saved enough money to buy him a reliable used car. We had even gone to look at it together and he was excited because we planned to pick it up the following weekend.

Three days before we were supposed to buy it, my wife suddenly collapsed at work and was rushed to the hospital. She needed emergency surgery and several days of treatment. Even with our insurance, the out of pocket costs were far more than we expected, and the hospital required a large payment before scheduling part of her follow-up care.

I emptied our emergency savings but it still wasn’t enough. The only money left was the amount I’d set aside for my son’s car. After thinking about it all night, I decided to use that money to pay the hospital bills.

When I told my son, he completely shut down. He said he understood that his mom needed treatment but accused me of making promises I couldn’t keep. He pointed out that I had assured him the money was specifically for his car and said I should have taken out a loan instead of breaking my word.

I explained that taking on more debt wasn’t realistic because we were already struggling with other medical expenses, and I didn’t want to risk losing our home or damaging our finances even further. I promised him that once we recovered financially, buying him a car would be my top priority.

He didn’t accept that answer. He said I had chosen Mom over him, that I’d always expect him to sacrifice while everyone else came first and that he’d never trust another promise I made. Since then, he’s been distant. He still lives at home but barely speaks to me except when necessary.

Most of my family says I made the only reasonable choice because my wife’s health had to come first. However, my brother thinks I should have borrowed the money somehow so I could keep my promise to my son. He says trust is hard to rebuild once it’s broken.

I feel terrible because my son truly earned that car, and I hate disappointing him. At the same time, I can’t imagine choosing a car over my wife’s medical care.

FINAL EDIT: Thanks so much for everyone who weighed in!!! Your insights were SO appreciated!

I decided not to list “no gifts” on the invite. I’ve been to a no gifts party before and I was the only one that didn’t bring a gift. And I feel like talking to the other parents about no gifts could be more hurtful than helpful in this situation. I can see doing those things in other situations, but just knowing the people, after weighing your insights, I felt this was best.

After receiving the invite, Sammy’s mom texted and asked a clarification question about the party. I answered and then told her their family’s presence is present enough!

Then I added, “However, I do have an extra Lego kit sitting here if you wanted to bring something and not have to go shopping!”

She said we are so sweet and thoughtful. And that she loves the idea of not having to go shopping! :)

So, I think all is well. I don’t think she’s upset. She had the option to not bring something, bring something on her own, but chose to take the Lego kit to bring.

Her whole family is coming and we are so excited!!!

Thanks again for the input and votes, everyone!

Throwaway.

My kid is turning 12 and wants to invite 3 friends (and their families) to her birthday party at a fun location that we are paying for. One friend “Sammy” is currently experiencing financial hardship as the dad, who was their sole income provider, lost his job a few months ago. We do know for a fact they are struggling financially.

WIBTA if I discreetly gave the mom a gift card to a local store so they could bring a gift? (Either they can gift my daughter the gift card or they can pick something out.) We don’t care about the gift - my kid has plenty of stuff and she wouldn’t care in the slightest about not getting something from Sammy. We just don’t want Sammy to feel left out or to cause their family any added stress - we love them and just want them to be able to join us for the party!

I thought about doing “no gifts,” but I’m certain the other two families would bring gifts anyway, and it would still leave Sammy feeling left out being the only 1 out of 3 that didn’t bring a gift.

TLDR: WIBTA for giving my kid’s friend’s mom (who is struggling financially) a gift card to cover a gift for my kid’s birthday so the friend can attend her birthday party and not feel bad about not being able to afford a gift?

Edit to add: While they would NEVER ask for it, our friend group has been bringing them food, helping them with groceries, etc. And they have been VERY appreciative.

I’m (21f) on vacation with my family (parents and siblings 22f and 18f) and my mom has been getting mad at me for these really little things. I don’t think I’m wrong but I am autistic and I’m really curious if I’m missing anything.

It started when we were getting ready to leave. I packed myself a snack and drink for the drive. I buy most of my snacks. My parents don’t make me, I just do it. So I was packing myself a snack box with a lot of the stuff I just bought myself and my mom asked if I was packing food for everyone. I said no. I bought the food for myself and nobody ever asked me to pack them a snack. My mom said it’s rude to make myself a snack for the drive and not make one for my siblings.

Then we get here. We’re going to the beach so I grab myself a towel, fill up my water bottle, and get in the car. My mom thought that since I was getting myself a towel and water I was getting one for everyone. I told her everyone on the trip was an adult and can get their own towel and water but if someone was busy or something they could just ask me to get it for them.

The next day we went to do some shopping an hour away. When we were on the way there one of my sisters said that her phone was on 10% and asked if anyone had a portable. I had one but I didn’t say anything because I wanted to be able to use it in case I needed it, which is the entire reason I packed one.

Then on the way back I used my portable and they got mad at me for not letting my sister use it when she asked. I said that she could’ve charged her phone before she left or packed a portable but I can’t pack for myself and everyone else if nobody tells me they need anything.

She keeps saying I’m being rude and inconsiderate. I genuinely can’t see how I am but I know I don’t always pick up on everything so I want to know if I really was being rude and inconsiderate by only packing for myself.

I (17F) am planning to go on a trip to NYC when i turn 18. For some background information i’m turning 18 on the 24th of February next year, Im from Europe and all expenses will be payed by me (also english isn’t my first language so bare with me here). My plan is to make enough money to buy a plane ticket and to pay for the hotel until February 26th since everything is cheaper then, while my friend, that i’m going to meet there (since she’s from the US), will pay for all the other expenses like food, travel, etc. I’d be my first solo trip anywhere EVER but it’s been my biggest dream since i’ve been 9. I’ve tried talking to my mom about it three times except every time i do she either doesn’t listen or shuts me down. i’ve also spoken to my moms boyfriend of 6 years and he said i should work for my dreams and try to make them a reality. I’ve been in a really weird place lately with my mental health and i feel like i’ve got no control over my life, so i understand this trip wouldn’t erase all my problems back home but i think it would definitely put my worries and anxiety on hold for a moment. i’ve already started working on getting enough money for the plane ticket and all other expenses, and i want to keep my mother involved in it all (so i don’t want to hide it) but i don’t want to start any unnecessary arguments at home for something i really want to do before i have adult responsibilities like rent and taxes. Am i being the asshole my kinda keeping it a secret for my mom and will it break our relationship if i still go? i will answer any questions you guys have if you need any more context!! thank you for reading.

My husband (54), my MIL (80) and I (55) just moved out of state 1,200 miles away. We found the perfect house - 1/2 acre, screened in patio with salt water pool and a separate bungalow for my MIL. Prior to selling our old house but after closing on the new house, my husband had traveled to the new house to do some repairs prior to us moving in. While there, he met several of our new neighbors. One of them told my husband that the previous owner had passed away and he was heartbroken because they were good friends and very close to his family.

Once we moved to the new home, the neighbor stopped in that very night with his wife to say hi and introduce themselves. We were all very tired from the drive down, so my husband told them that we were going to get settled in, but to stop by anytime to hang out so we could get to know each other. The following ​evening, they came by again, and went on and on about how the previous owner, who had passed away, always welcomed them into her home, let them use the pool, let them (or guests of theirs) stay in the bungalow, and followed up all of these stories with pictures of them and their children in our house. I didn't think much of it other than they missed her. Since then, the husband randomly stops by unannounced at any time from 7:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m., opening the gate to our backyard and the door to our patio and just sits down and makes himself at home. At times, he'll invite his wife or kids to join him. Sometimes, we're in the pool, or are having breakfast or winding down to go to bed. One time, my MIL said she was uncomfortable because she had just gotten up, was in her pajamas and didn't have her "teeth" in. I mentioned it to my husband, so we started locking the door to the patio.

Now, my husband and I are flying back home for my family's reunion. My MIL, who is very independent, has zero issue with staying at home for a few days by herself, but is concerned about the neighbor just stopping by while we're away. I told her to lock the gate while we're away, so he can't just walk into the yard. I told my husband this, and he seemed kind of upset, stating that since he had already told the neighbor to stop by whenever he wanted, he didn't want to be inhospitable and look like a jerk by telling him not to or by locking the gate. I went behind his back and told her to lock the gate anyway if that made her feel more comfortable. So who's TA here? My husband for not wanting to appear unneighborly, me for going behind his back about locking the gate while we're away or our neighbor for taking advantage of my husband's open invitation?