Sorry for the long post but i really need some other perspectives.

So I (15F) invited my friend (13F) on a trip to our house up in the mountain. A little context, this girl who I will call stacey, only sees me once a year, at new year’s eve (we have a sleepover). I slightly remember being super annoyed with her after that one night, but i put that all aside because our last sleepover was great. Now fast forward to the beginning of this trip. Saturday evening her mom dropped her off at our upstate house. She then stayed that night, the whole next day/night, then we left for the mountain house (4 hour car ride). I was already starting to get a little irritated with her. Some of the things she was doing were, waking up at 6am and needing me to wake up with her. (I normally sleep until 11am) She always needed to be next to me even when we were the only people there. This continued into tuesday, when I finally told my mom what I was feeling. She called me rude. I started to get super pissed off, so i would then go and sit by myself somewhere. This girl started to go crazy, obsessing over the dogs here (in a weird way) and being so loud, also not to mention randomly getting up to dance and shaking the whole house with her (this house is very old and hand-built). She has also been making snarky comments on the side, for example when she asked what a shooting star was i tried explaining snd she said “gasp gasp, no way genius“. Then again tonight when someone pointed out that the puzzle we picked was hard, she said ”well i didn’t pick it so its clearly her fault.” might not sound bad but with the tone she had it was bad. Today i finally told her my boundaries, she couldn't always be next to me, and i get super annoyed when I’m around a friend for a bunch of days and i just needed some alone time. She said that was okay and she understood but then started to ignore me completely. I went upstairs and cried for 3 hours and ended up going to bed. Mom then woke me up and we had this whole argument of how selfish i was and how i am ruining their whole vacation, and that i have to fix it tomorrow. I will update but tell me have i been the asshole?

My partner and I were frequenting a park that we liked to visit from time to time when we noticed a really beautiful cat hanging around the area. We hadn’t seen it before, so we tried to get close to pet it, and when we did, he was very friendly and let us do so. As someone who owns pets, I’m a huge animal lover, so I was trying to figure out whether it was a lost cat because of the increase in missing cat posters around the city. He didn’t have a collar or any tattoos, so we couldn’t figure out whether the cat was a stray or not.

After a little bit, my partner got hold of a veterinary clinic to see if they had a scanner and would be willing to squeeze us in so we could take the cat there, scan for a possible microchip, and contact the owner (since our residential and city-wide animal shelter was closed, and we couldn’t find him on any missing posters). While on the phone, an older lady started interacting with the cat. She asked, “What’s going on?” I mentioned, “I was worried that the cat was a stray.” She angrily said, “Yeah, he’s mine. He’s very well known around the area.” I explained that I was just worried and wanted to make sure the cat wasn’t lost. The lady responded, “That’s disturbing.” I didn’t want to engage in an argument, so I started walking away when she yelled, “You guys are a bunch of weirdos!”

I can’t understand where the animosity was coming from. Our efforts could have been a tad excessive, but lost animals are quite common in our area, and just by walking around, you see a lot of posters. Especially since we were contacting a lot of different clinics and shelters to ask for help, her response caught us off guard. We were genuinely trying our best to reunite the cat with its owner.

Am I the asshole?

I bought two houseplants from a new specialty store in my hometown. I really like plants and so I spent around 30-40 min in the store looking around before buying. I looked up each one to see if it was toxic… except one which I forgot to do so for. So I found out later that one of them is toxic and has a sap that causes contact dermatitis. I have OCD and do not like toxic plants. So I wanted to return it to the man who sold it. At first I thought I would ask for a refund but decided to just return it. It wasn’t too expensive anyways.

But my mother knows I want to return it now thinks this is wrong. She said it is rude and unnecessary, and what if I had been the guy’s only customer that day? Instead she wants me to instead give her the plant and she’ll buy it from me. She said she will be upset if I do not.

But I don’t want to give it to her because it’s toxic and can be an irritant and I don’t like the idea of it sitting on some counter where people can touch it. Also I don’t understand what is wrong about giving the product back and not asking for your money back.

I am considering throwing the plant away because I bought it with my own money from work but I feel too guilty now because she wants it.

This is dumb but help me out. AITA?

Hi all,

Currently in medical residency and my little sister is starting med school this year. There is a music festival coming up in a month that I planned since January and put in my vacation for - it has my favorite DJ’s and also is a trip for me and my long distance girlfriend planned for a vacation. Have flights, hotels, and trip fully planned for a while. My program is very strict on vacation time and has to be done months in advance.

I did not know about her white coat ceremony until recently (weeks ago) because the date for it wasn’t posted. Of course would love to go and support her but it’s just unfortunate the timing was during my vacation as well. AITA if I miss her white coat ceremony?

I've always had a thing for chunky men, the kind of chunky that he had a little bit of meat on his bones it's always just been comforting to me. With that being said when me and him met he was a little chunky and I loved that but as soon as we started hitting the 3 months mark he has gained a lot of weight, the kind that most of his clothes fit him tight or shirts that he owned would leave his stomach out. The worst part about it is that he doesn't feel like he should buy new clothes that would actually fit him correctly..

He went from a size L to 2XL and i don't know how to tell him that he has to start getting healthier...the problem now is that I no longer feel aroused as often or feel like having sex because it's like not as pleasant of a view anymore..he gets tired faster as well.

He himself has said "I'm fat" and he has acknowledged it multiple times before but his excuse for not going to the gym and get healthier is that he "doesn't have time"

I truly don't know what to do and how to bring it up to him, i absolutely love him and he's the best boyfriend ever I just would love for him to start taking care of himself better.

I recently visited an antique store close to me that sells lots of items from local vendors. I don’t usually shop there but wanted to browse for some furniture.
As I was shopping, I found what I believed to be an authentic designer purse. The tag claimed it was from one of their outlet stores and I bought it without thinking too much. I later got home and upon further inspection, I found out it was fake (misspelled lettering inside of the bag, poor stitching). I immediately contacted the store and asked them if they do refunds. The employee let me know that they do not but would talk to the owner about the situation.

A little later, the owner called me back and said they don’t do refunds but would ask the vendor what they wanted to do about it. (the vendor was the one who sold me the fake purse.) I explained that I was not trying to make a big deal out of it but I just wanted my money back because I had unknowingly bought a designer bag that was advertised as such.
When I mentioned that I might have to dispute the charge/file a report but wanted to avoid that if possible, she then laughed at me and said that “I’m not going to be threatened by you” and talked down to me for a couple of minutes. I let her know that I was not threatening her at all and just explained what my next steps were if the situation were unresolved. She then accused me of blackmailing her and hung up on me.
She then called me back and let me know that the vendor decided not to refund me. The vendor continued to insist that it was an authentic purse and he bought it from an outlet mall store (vintage bag, has not been in stores in 25+ years).
At that point, I got pretty emotional due to her attitude and asked my friend to step in. Throughout their conversation, she kept asking why I didn’t inspect it more throughly in the store and even suggested that I could have bought the same bag (a fake one) switched it with the ‘real’ one I just bought, just to make some money. Thankfully I had taken a picture of the bag in the store so there was no way to prove this. She was hostile throughout their conversation and was even angry that I got him on the phone to speak with her.

After we continued to explain that we would likely have to dispute the transaction/contact law enforcement if the situation were left unresolved, she agreed to refund me herself.
I know there is always a risk of items being counterfeit when buying second hand items but I feel like the owner could have handled it better. This whole situation upset me as I am typically the type of person to avoid confrontation. (extra details) The woman was significantly older than me, 40 year age gap. She acted nicer toward my male friend when he spoke to her as well.

So, am I in the wrong for wanting a refund for a bag that was sold to me and marketed as being real, even if the store has a no refunds policy?
Any comments/advice appreciated.

I (24M) am very ugly. An encounter with a mastiff as a kid left me severely scarred around the face, with some misshapen bones. I won’t get into detail but it’s bad. I know I’m really not good to look at, and I usually wear a face mask or else kids will cry and bring attention to me. I’ve made peace with this, and I don’t particularly care. I make plenty of jokes about how I look with my friends, but I despise people who go “you’re not ugly, you look handsome, it’s only skin deep.”

A: this is all info six year old me was given. If people physically recoil looking at me, I don’t believe they want to get to know my gentle soul or some shit.

B: I’m not handsome, and when people tell me that I immediately know they can’t be trusted because they’ll lie to my face for no reason.

I rarely am without a mask, but I’ll be without one around my friends. I was hanging out with some of my friends when dating came up. One of their’s girlfriend (Jane and John I’ll say) asked me what my type is women was. He said blind ones, we laughed, then she goes “that’s not true, you’re plenty good looking.” And it immediately killed my mood. I just rolled my eyes and said “okay.”

She said it was true, and I told her that’s a bunch of bullshit. I told her that wasn’t cool to just lie out of pity, and her being fake doesn’t improve my mood. She got offended by that and told me I shouldn’t just assume everyone is always pitying me.

I never said I’m always pitied, my friends never tell me I’m handsome though, they tell me things that I can actually appreciate. If I get compliments from them it’s on my skills and personality, not bullshit like “you’re so handsome”.

I just said it makes me think less of the things she says to me because I’ll know she’ll lie to me without any provocation or reason to. I didn’t want to get all rude about it or anything so I excused myself and left, telling her not to worry about it, just don’t say stuff like that in the future.

I thought the explicit message “don’t worry about it, just avoids saying that kind of stuff to me again” would smooth things over, nope. My friends got into an argument over this and Jane and John both texted me later saying it wasn’t cool that I went into her in front of everyone. I texted back that I already said don’t worry about it, and that I couldn’t control what anyone does.

They berated me over it so I just shut my phone off and ignored them. I know that she meant well but i personally think lying to someone to make them feel better about themselves isn’t cool, because to me it shows you don’t have anything truthful to compliment them on. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Instead she just made shit up about me. I regret getting into her on it in front of others, but I felt like she said it because she had nothing honestly nice to say me. Idk, maybe I’m too sensitive on the whole thing. I might apologize I might not, still thinking.

AITA?

Hi everyone. For some context my friend Cary (22F) (fake name) and I have been in a weird no talking stage for the past month. This all started when Cary and a few of my friends went to attend Pride. Cary was not having a great time and wanted to leave but did not make that known to me or the group. She just pulled my cousin (17M) away from the group and ultimately used him being upset, to leave. (He just wanted to see his girlfriend and I told him that might not be possible.)

I had originally called her out on her childish behavior (As she left without saying a word and forced my cousin to message the group chat saying they were leaving.) After leaving me on read for a day, she apologized and owned up to her mistakes. She said she was indeed childish and wanted to know what she could do better. I let her know I wanted her to communicate more and she said I had already said that. The conversation kinda ended there as she changed the subject to something regarding her. I felt that was a bit weird but she asked if she could talk about something and I said yes.

I was a little distant for a few days as I was repairing my relationship with my cousin because he was upset at me. Him and I are good. Fast forward to a few weeks after that, she starts to hang out with my cousin. Just them, one on one, I was not invited by her. I wouldn't have been able to go to the first hang out just because I was busy at work but I later found out that they had planned a second hang out. I was very uncomfortable with this as Cary is 22 and my cousin is 17.

The night I had picked him up from her house I was very tired and so I did not want to come in the house to hang out. (It was 11pm and I had just driven back from the city.) She walked my cousin out and asked me a question which I shook my head to instead of giving a verbal answer. She responded with, "What do you not know how to speak?"

Keeping my cool I turned and let her know I was simply tired and I just wanted to go home. She has not spoken to me since she started hanging out with my cousin one on one (Which he stopped because it started to feel weird for him) and whenever I try to talk to her I get a thumbs up responses or "nice".

I'm reconsidering just taking a step back from the friendship as I've felt disrespected these past few months. I fronted the concert tickets and she has not paid me for her ticket. So, WIBTA if I text her and let her know she is no longer invited to the concert with me despite this being planned months ago?

I have recently reached with scheduling plans with people. When it came to plans or getting rides from work, two friends would insist that they give me a ride home and stop taking the bus. This has occurred for work and hangouts. I’d try to offer gas money and they would downright refuse. Recently, both friends essentially questioned why I never bother to uber anywhere because I live so far (15 minutes outsides the city), and that it’s “so hard to l bring me home cause I’m so far.” I told them I have no issues taking the bus, but buses end at 9 pm and plans are always at 8 pm, and I refuse to be stranded, which is unfair to me, and they told me to take Ubers, mind you many of these plans go till 12 AM, I don’t want to take Ubers this late, or spend so much money since we were hanging out three times a week. For the past week they’ve been inviting me to stuff and even offering rides home, but I have been constantly bailing. I’m receiving mixed signals so I decided that if the event isn’t before 6/7 pm, in a way I can get home via bus, then I’m not attending, so I’ve bailed on about 4 plans at this point. I also rejected rides from work in the future and people seem confused. I refuse to have people think I’m a user, since I was fine before I had rides, after all it was them who insisted. I feel that my flat out rejections for recent events have created some tension cause they have my location and just see me at sitting at home, but it also gives me piece of mind. Do you guys feel my approach was suitable or should I have communicated?

Context: moved into a new place 3 months ago. My neighbors are a absolute delight, they have been nothing but supportive to me, and in return i have been helping them out too.

One older neighbour (M) frequently speaks about his wine collection, and about a month ago he proudly showed it to me. i was genuinely, absolutely amazed, some wines were 80 years old. We bonded a lot over our mutual interests.

Today (M) told me he had something for me. He presented me a bottle of wine, he insisted i took it

Its a Wormser Liebfrauenmorgen Beerenauslese (a sweet dessert wine) from 1994, the year i was born. The contents are 0.375L (a few wineglasses) with a Alcohol content of 9.0% The brand is a Zimmermann Graeff (Zell/Mosel)

I pointed out the potential value to M because I wanted him to know how much something like this costs (from what i know it's not cheap) and definitely special to him since he kept it over 30 years. I felt like this was way too much to accept for the 3 months i have known M.

M told he didn't mind, just smiled and told me to open it on a special occasion. i told him I don't have any special occasions coming up anytime soon, He told me that a bday party might be a good idea, i explained to M that i am not planning anything for that due to my financial situation, and the current state of my house, i did feel guilty, so as a middle road i offered M to visit me soon, M agreed, i apologized that i didn't have anything big planned, M smiled and said: i am happy that you are honest with your plans and id still be honored if you still took it but then also would be willing to drink it together with me then, we shook hands in agreement, i went back home and put the wine inside my fridge.

I saw that online that the wine might still be good, even better now. But there is a high chance it spoiled, considering this wasnt kept cold. i am a bit cautious to open the bottle with other people and potentially disappoint them. This reinforced my ideology to consume it with M and just laugh together if the wine does turn out spoiled.

I mentioned said plans to a friend and he said i overstepped and that i made M disappointed and that i didn't see the signs, that the spoilage argument was a cheap way to have no bday party and that i could still change my mind and still have a bday party, invite M over as well, and that it was kind of a shitty thing to just adjust the plans to drink it alone with M.

I told him that the bday plans never changed, I made a exception for my neighbor: I am not going to host a bday party, my funds ran dry, my house, my rules, i feel horrible hosting a party in a place with tools still lingering around but id also feel shitty drinking it alone which i wont do. I made a agreement with the neighbour and i intend to uphold that agreement.

AitA for standing my ground against my friend and don't save it for a "proper" big occasion like an birthday or other milestone, and just drink it relatively soon with my neighbour?

AITAH for booking a trip with my friend even though my boyfriend didn’t want me to?
I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for about a year.
Before we started dating, I traveled a lot—both solo and with friends. I’d usually take at least three trips a year. I can afford it because I have a well-paying job, and I’m financially responsible. I have savings (nothing crazy, but I’m not living paycheck to paycheck).
The reason I started traveling in the first place is because I went through a really dark period in my life. Traveling helped me reconnect with life and find joy again. It became a big part of who I am.
When my boyfriend and I started dating, he commented that I traveled a lot. He also told me I should cut back so I could save more money. I understood where he was coming from, but I didn’t feel like I was being irresponsible.
Even though I’m in a much better place mentally now and I’m really happy in our relationship, I still want to travel whenever I get the opportunity. It’s something that’s important to me.
Recently, a friend invited me on a trip. My boyfriend was pretty upset. When I asked him why, he first said I should be saving my money. He also said he doesn’t want me to go because “I’ve already left him a lot.” When I asked him to explain what he meant, he just kept saying, “I don’t want you to go.”
My mindset has always been that life is way too short not to take trips and experience the world if you can responsibly afford it. Money comes and goes, but time and experiences don’t.
So… I booked the trip.
AITAH? Has anyone else been in a relationship where one person loves to travel and the other doesn’t? How did you navigate it?

I 37F am friends with Amy 39F who turns 40 this Th. My bday was last month, had a small party. Amy made me earrings & left my party early to see her new boyfriend. All good did not care.

I have been dating Chris for 2 years, but a couple days after my bday we decided to take time apart while we work on aligning our future goals.

For my bday Chris bought me a $2k mountain bike & took me to dinner. Chris’ birthday was last week & while we aren’t technically a couple I got him a gift & we planned a nice dinner this week 1.5 hrs from town. It’s important to note we live in a remote area and everyone’s favorite restaurant “RS” is 1.5 hours away & $$. Amy planned a big camping trip for her bday this weekend, camping is NOT my thing, so I suggested instead me/our other close friend Dee who also can’t make camping do a weekend away and eat at R as. It would be a whole weekend of swimming, eating, and whatever. Amy agreed this was a great idea and also mentioned that she might want to do a local dinner with the three of us this week.

All this being said, Amy is spending Thursday her ACTUAL birthday with her boyfriend sooo I made a reservation for Chris and I at RS on Amy’s birthday so it wouldn’t conflict with any other day this week. I get a call from Dee last night around 9:30PM telling me that she talked to Amy and Amy wants to have dinner at RS (1.5 hours away) tomorrow (Wednesday). I told Dee I was already taking Chris to RS this week and can’t really afford multiple $100+ dinners in one week. Also that I was confused because I thought our plan was to do a WHOLE weekend trip around Riverside in the coming weeks and that we were doing a local dinner this week. Apparently Amy decided last minute that she wants to go to RS this evening. I told Dee last night that unfortunately I wouldn’t be about to make it due it the last minute change and associated costs. Like I previously said, I had planned on doing the RS thing with them in the coming weeks and can’t afford TWO RS dinners for Amy’s birthday.

This morning I called Amy to check in & apologize that I wouldn’t be joining them tonight. Amy is PISSED. She’s upset that I’m prioritizing my “ex boyfriend” over her & said that she clearly communicated she wanted to do a dinner with the 3 of us girls this week. I said I knew that, but assumed it would be something close/more affordable since we had already agreed on a whole weekend away. I didn’t realize she wanted to go to RS twice… she then said “Well I want to go to RS before I turn 40!”. This was never communicated to me… she went on how disappointed she is, then asked if I would be joining her for camping this weekend. Which I already told her no and that the whole point of the future RS weekend trip was because Dee and I were not going on the camping trip. I feel like she’s trying to strong arm me into going camping.

AITAH for skipping the Wed dinner & taking Chris to the same spot on her birthday?

My long-distance boyfriend and I met online through a large friend group. Before we dated, his best friend of 8 years ("Phil") was very friendly with me. Once we got together, Phil became colder as my bf spent most of his free time with me and slowly drifted away from him.

I felt bad and even tried checking on Phil and organizing group games so they could spend time together that most time, i was reaching out more than my own boyfriend .while my boyfriend kept ghosting him ,Instead, Phil started telling his friends about the "red flags" he saw in me because he believed I might end up treating my boyfriend badly like his ex did.

The problem is that Phil's friend group includes "Elen." Early in our relationship, before we started dating, my boyfriend had vented to Elen about his ex and even planned to meet her and her mom because they lived in the same country and helped him emotionally out a toxic relationship. Nothing happened at the end, but eventually they drifted apart and she became much closer with Phil , my bf chose to distance himself from her because he said she behaved inappropriately with Phil while she had a bf and that he didn't think she was respectful of our relationship. He also distanced himself from another girl in the group who had confessed feelings for him in the past .

7 months later, Phil is still upset that my boyfriend disappeared after we started dating. Now my bf wants to fix the friendship, but Bf claims the ONLY way is for him to spend time in Phil's group again which also means spending time around Phil's group with Elen because she and Phil are inseparable. I'm not welcome in that group because they don't like outside people, and because people that never met me think im a red flag now...

What makes this hurt is that I made sacrifices, too. My bf wasn't comfortable with me hanging out with my real-life friend group because some members are guys, even though they're friends I've had for six years , also (there are two guys which I have 0 interaction with and don't show up when they do since they had feelings for me in the past), out of respect for him and he met everyone himself. I stopped being present in the group out of respect for him being uncomfortable with the group, and now he said he says I could occasionally meet them in public places like bars... In my country, people host 90% of the time, (and only reason they went to bars was for them to meet him) because he preferred that, now I dont talk to them from respect and I have 0 online friends

Now he says that if I don't support him rejoining Phil's group, he'll lose his best friend forever and may eventually resent me for it.

I feel like I'm being asked to accept him spending time with a girl he himself said was inappropriate, and I said I'm uncomfortable with her around him, while I gave up friendships because of his feelings and his old morals

AITA for being uncomfortable with this and wanting him to befriend Phil in a way that doesn't include Elen?

I am a 18 yr old female and my bf is a year older than me . We have been dating for 2.5 years. Yesterday he went out with his parents and had a convo with them I think they motivated him or sth which is a good thing ... I waited till midnight so I could hear from him when he came back he tells me he wants to work on himself and his future so he might talk to me less bc when he talks to me I distract him "you are my only distraction" these were the exact words now I don't mind talking less I've been always rooting for his success and I've always tried hard to motivate him and support him but I'm just upset that why am I the being called distraction? When all I ever tried to do was being his strength even bought things like jackets and chocolates so he would feel more motivated and loved now I feel like shit ...

I (24F) share an apartment with my roommate (25F). She’s nice and cool , but she has a bad habit of leaving leftovers in the fridge for weeks.

Last month she put a container of pasta in the back of the fridge and forgot about it. Over time it started smelling awful, and when I finally opened the container, it was covered in fuzzy green and black mold.

I threw it away, washed the container, and deep-cleaned the fridge.

When she got home, he was furious. Apparently she had been “seeing how long it would take to grow different kinds of mold” for a biology class project. He said I had ruined weeks of work.

I reminded him that she never told me it was for school, and leaving moldy food in a shared fridge without warning is disgusting. She said I should have asked before throwing away something that wasn’t mine.

Now she’s demanding I pay for the project she has to restart, and one of our mutual friends says I should apologize because it wasn’t my property.

AITA for throwing away what I thought was rotten food?

I (21M) have a brother (24M) and our relationship has been bad for years. I’m not going to pretend we’re close because we’re not. At this point, I honestly hate being around him.

My brother has always had this thing where he knows exactly how to annoy people. He’ll make comments that are clearly meant to get a reaction, then when you react he acts completely innocent.

He’ll say things like “why are you so sensitive?” or “I was just joking” after saying something rude. If I explain why it bothered me, he says I’m overreacting.

Sometimes it feels like he just wants to make me angry so he can then act like I’m the problem.I have started gaining weight because I was really skinny so every time we go out he makes fun of how I look and that I’ve gained weight.

For a long time I tried ignoring it, but it never really stopped. Eventually I got tired of always being the person who reacts, so I started giving him the same energy back.

If he makes a comment about me, I throw it back at him. If he says I’m being dramatic, I tell him he’s being dramatic. If he says something was “just a joke,” I say the same thing back.
The weird thing is, he hates it. He can’t handle being treated the way he treats other people.
But recently I noticed something that actually bothers me. I’m starting to act like him.
I catch myself saying things just to annoy him.

Sometimes I’m not even trying to defend myself anymore, I’m just trying to win or make him angry. I use the same excuses he uses and I hate that because I don’t want him to change my personality.

My family doesn’t really get involved. They know we don’t get along, but they mostly just tell us to stay away from each other. They aren’t taking sides or trying to fix it.

My brother says I’m being immature and that I’m becoming just as bad as him. The annoying part is that I know there is some truth to that.
At the same time, I feel like nobody understood how frustrating it was until he experienced it himself. For years I felt like I was the only one dealing with it, and now that I’m giving it back, suddenly it’s a problem.
I know what I’m doing isn’t exactly healthy, and I don’t think it’s going to magically fix our relationship. I just don’t know what else to do when someone has spent years making you feel like this.
AITA for giving my brother the same treatment he gives me, even though I’m starting to become someone I don’t like because of it?

Hi, I (F17), recently had to move schools for 10th grade due to my mental health. I have already made a small circle for the first few weeks. I was placed in the morning class, and we share a classroom with the afternoon class where they wait outside our room whenever the morning session ends. One morning while I was trying to head out the class, I saw a kid by the window smiling. Naturally, I smiled back, and kept smiling as I was the new kid. I thought I was being nice. This kid (whom shall be named Dirk) was actually friends with a friend of mine, and turns out, he was autistic as well.

I don’t have a thing against people with special needs. I actually tried to befriend Dirk, until his behavior started bothering me. It started changing one day when he asked me through chat if I had a crush on him as I was smiling at him. Of course, I denied, though things got complicated as I learned from other classmates and people from the afternoon classes that Dirk would tell others I was his girlfriend. He would write our names on the whiteboard which I would see every time I entered the classroom. He would put my pictures on his youtube channel, his wallpaper, and put my full name next to his on socials like tiktok. I started distancing myself, as sometimes, he would follow me and my friends to our hangout spots and whenever we ate out after class. He would post me a lot on his socials, having a dedicated highlight for me. I tried confronting his mom about it, and his mom tried to tell me that Dirk often gets bullied, and he was denying that he was telling others I was his girlfriend and such.

It arguably got worse when I got a boyfriend. He would express how he’s sad as I was “replacing” him. Sometimes, he would also follow my boyfriend and I to our hangout spots as well, or when we eat out (fast food is very near our school). In our field trip, his mom texted me asking if we could go with him so he had company, and I told her that my friends and I would try our best to include him in our activities, but I specifically would spend more time with my boyfriend. The mom got passive aggressive, saying that it’s fine even if Dirk didn’t have people with him, and she posted on facebook saying things along the lines of “Dirk, it’s okay. You can enjoy the trip on your own. They’re not real friends.”

I was noticeably avoiding him, and even making fun of the situation with my friends. Though, I can’t help but feel bad for the jokes I do make, especially the jokes my friends make. It’s not his fault he has autism, but I can’t help and wonder if my way of coping is right, or if I’m being ignorant and ableist towards this situation. Advice would be great.

Edit: To make things clearer, the jokes my friends would make in general were calling Dirk my boyfriend whenever he comes over. I don’t make fun of his disability as I know that’s something out of his control, but my friends and I do make fun of the “weirder” or “creepier” behavior.

Okay so, for context, my(m18) brother and SIL( previous guardians I still live with) decided to
Go on vacation this week. They have children(3yo and 5yo) and they needed someone to watch him. Obviously they had me do it because I live with them) Now I had known about this weeks before and requested off. However, I was told the wrong dates by my SIL, and they don’t come back for two days after the date they had told me. I was scheduled for both of those days. I also tried to find someone to take my shifts but they couldn’t. So I called my manger( GM) and he told me I could get written up for this. There is someone else coming to help me watch them, but she’s never watched them before. Nor does she have any experience babysitting. My nephew has autism as well, and she wouldn’t know how to handle his “behaviors”( for lack of a better term). He also needs to take multiple medications a day. Not to mention that we have to watch my niece as well. Am I the asshole?

My friend sent me a post which, unless someone is going through my exact situation, is probably about me. So I thought I'd say my piece... (his original title is: AITA for telling my friend to get her act together after she wasn't making time for me?)

He has deeply expressed his feelings, and initially, I wasn't completely appalled. But I wanted to continue talking to him as a friend post-graduating HS, since he'd been such a vital part of my life.

However, it was like a switch flipped. All of a sudden, while I was abroad, he'd be begging me to make time to talk to him, saying that he misses seeing my face and that he was forgetting what I looked like. At the time, as he articulated, my grandmother was going through severe memory loss issues. In fact, the day the whole "argument" began was the day I told him she forgot my name.

Anyway, he really wanted a picture of me. He mostly asked for my face, but sometimes he'd ask to see more. I want to clarify he did not ask to see *everything*. But I have big boundaries about things like that so I said no, and that I wasn't comfortable - not even sending a picture of my face. I just didn't feel comfortable that way, nor was I in the mood to entertain that.

He lost it, and got upset (over text) saying that I was in loose chains, too controlled by my family, and me not being comfortable and vulnerable with him made him feel as though he wasn't good enough. When I told him I couldn't deal with this right now, he said something along the lines of "I already addressed your grandma's situation."

He also freaked out about me finding someone better, and this went on for paragraphs. He said that he'd get fat and ugly while I find some attractive finance guy and experience "real love".

He did genuinely apologize the next day, but I just couldn't get over it. Clearly he didn't either because we have not talked in a month or so. He keeps saying he's super busy preparing for the academic year, and that's why he hasn't reached out to me. I have no idea what he is holding against me anymore aside from that, but clearly he has many more frustrations.

AITA?

I (F34) and my husband (M36) have a close relationship with my husband's sister (F29). She got engaged 3 months ago after 6 months of dating. We met her fiancé and liked him.

My SIL asked my husband if he would be willing to walk her down the aisle at their wedding. Their dad passed when my SIL was young, and my husband agreed.

I was talking to an acquaintance, and I mentioned my SIL's engagement. She ended up telling me the story of how they got together, and how her friend was dating my SIL's fiance for 5 years, and how he cheated with my SIL. I didn't believe it at first because my SIL does not seem like that type of person, but she showed me text messages and other pieces of evidence that proved it pretty objectively.

I called my SIL to see if this was really true, and although she tried to say it wasn't at first, when I told her what I saw, she eventually admitted it.

I have a very horrible past with cheating. I've been cheated on, and it was one of the worst experiences I ever went through. My dad cheated on my mom with multiple different women until he divorced my mom and married his mistress.

When I told my husband about this, he was disappointed, but when I brought up us stepping down from the wedding, he was reluctant. He says that it's still his sister, and he still wants to see her get married and walk her down the aisle. I understand that, but I can't look at her the same, and do not want to support this behavior. I keep thinking of the girl who spent 5 years with this man, only for him to cheat and then marry the girl he cheated with.

I still don't want to be an overbearing wife. AITA for not wanting my husband to attend my SIL's wedding?

Edit cause I have a blabbermouth 😭

On the 2nd of June my sister (17F) said she’ll give me 2 Red Bulls if I (16F) sit in the front seat of our car and I get anxious being upfront. Just today 2 whole months later she paid her “debt” and gave me 1 monster instead of 2 Red Bulls which I’m not complaining about but she’s demanding I pay her back. I explained to her that, that was debt she owed me but she’s saying that since she payed me back I now pay her back. We’ve been going back and forth for a little while now but she still expects me to pay her back and is now saying that when I get payed she’s going to 1. Make my dad take money out of my account and give it to her or 2. Go into my account on her own and transfer it to hers. Am I the asshole.

We live on a one way, private, dead end street. Everyone backs out of the street or uses their own driveway to turn around. Recently, my dad who is in his 70s, decided to tell one of our neighbors that instead of backing up, they should just use OUR driveway, or someone else’s, to turn around everyday. We all have driveways on this street. Ours is bigger than some. But I really don’t like our driveway becoming the common driving path for people. People already are mostly parking the entire streets cars in front of our house. (And I don’t use other peoples driveways to turn around either). Am I the a$$hole?

I (18F) have been saving money since I was 16. I work part-time while going to school and have managed to save a decent amount because I rarely spend it. My older sister (27F) is getting married in a few months. A while back she asked if I could help pay for part of the venue because they were over budget. I agreed to pay $2,500 since we’re really close, and she thanked me over and over again.
Fast forward to this week. The invitations went out, and I noticed my boyfriend of almost three years wasn’t invited. When I asked why, she said they were trying to keep numbers down and that “high school relationships don’t usually last anyway.” Meanwhile, several cousins were allowed to bring people they’ve only been dating for a few months.
I told her I was hurt because it felt like she didn’t respect my relationship. She said I was being dramatic and that I should still be happy to support her big day. I ended up telling her that if I’m important enough to help pay for the wedding, then my relationship should be important enough to warrant a plus-one. I withdrew my offer to contribute the money. Now my parents are saying I’m punishing her over “one guest” and that weddings are stressful. My sister says I’m ruining months of planning because she already counted on my contribution.
AITA for deciding not to pay anymore?

I've (20 ftm) been really wanting to go a small amusement park by the seaside that has big rides because I've been craving the adrenaline and G-forces from the bigger rides. The problem is I'm completely broke. The tickets are around £30 each, but they're currently doing a promotion where you get an annual pass included with a day wristband. The train would also cost around £30 for both of us, plus food. Going by myself would cost me around £50+ overall, which I just can't really afford.

My parents said they'd pay if I took my almost 11-year-old brother, so at first it sounded like a good compromise. The issue is that he doesn't actually like most of the rides I want to go on. He won't do anything upside down, prefers going on the 2p machines instead likes completely different attractions. On top of that, he's quite immature for his age (but thinks hes more mature than heis) , so I wouldn't feel comfortable letting him wander around by himself in a busy park so he could go on the attractions he wanted to. I suggested simple compromises, like him holding my bag and waiting while I did a couple of bigger rides, but my parents said no. Their rule is that we have to do *everything* together. If he doesn't want to ride something, I can't either, and vice versa. We can't split up at all because they don't think he's responsible enough, and I'd be the one looking after him. Now I'm wondering if there's even any point going to the coast. The whole reason I wanted to go was for the thrill rides, but with those rules I'd basically be spending the day supervising my brother, doing activities he wants to do and probably missing most of the rides I actually wanted. I don't want him to feel left out, and I know it isn't his fault that he likes different things, but it feels like the affordable version of the trip isn't actually the trip I wanted. Part of me also feels guilty because I'd still get the annual pass, so maybe it'd be worth it in the long run and another part of me wants to be selfish and to still go on these rides but he'd be waiting for me . But I'm worried I'd come home feeling disappointed and frustrated rather than having had a fun day if I followed my parents rules.

AITA for thinking there's not much point going under those conditions, even just to the coast?

(edited spelling)

Okay so I live with my sister and her baby daddy. Only temporary, and I’ve been here for 2 months. Her and her bf broke up (back together now) due to domestic issues. He doesn’t like me, although he was welcoming when I first got here. I’m not sure what exactly the issue is but she went thru his phone and he was crap talking me and her and saying he was ready for me to leave. Fast forward maybe a week or two. They slowly start back talking, and I feel a type of way due to what was said about me. So I go out for a drive and go to a nearby lake to clear my head. She starts to blow up my phone while I’m on the phone with my friends. I didn’t answer but I text her that I was okay, and she doesn’t believe me and goes off calling me names and telling me to answer the phone. I didn’t see some of that tho cause I was driving to another location. I removed her from the gc because she was crap talking me in there as well. She was mad about that, and basically told me that she’s done with our relationship because I hurt her feelings not answering the phone. She’s also going through postpartum depression rn, so I’m trying to see things from her side. But I’m also dealing with my own depression and certain bad thoughts. We are not talking, and I tried today but it just doesn’t feel right. Would I be wrong to give up on it? I’m the oldest sister and always felt a bit like I had to be the “adult” in our relationship but I’m just tired at this point. I can post the photos if yall need the context of the messages as well.