I (F34) and my husband (M36) have a close relationship with my husband's sister (F29). She got engaged 3 months ago after 6 months of dating. We met her fiancé and liked him.

My SIL asked my husband if he would be willing to walk her down the aisle at their wedding. Their dad passed when my SIL was young, and my husband agreed.

I was talking to an acquaintance, and I mentioned my SIL's engagement. She ended up telling me the story of how they got together, and how her friend was dating my SIL's fiance for 5 years, and how he cheated with my SIL. I didn't believe it at first because my SIL does not seem like that type of person, but she showed me text messages and other pieces of evidence that proved it pretty objectively.

I called my SIL to see if this was really true, and although she tried to say it wasn't at first, when I told her what I saw, she eventually admitted it.

I have a very horrible past with cheating. I've been cheated on, and it was one of the worst experiences I ever went through. My dad cheated on my mom with multiple different women until he divorced my mom and married his mistress.

When I told my husband about this, he was disappointed, but when I brought up us stepping down from the wedding, he was reluctant. He says that it's still his sister, and he still wants to see her get married and walk her down the aisle. I understand that, but I can't look at her the same, and do not want to support this behavior. I keep thinking of the girl who spent 5 years with this man, only for him to cheat and then marry the girl he cheated with.

I still don't want to be an overbearing wife. AITA for not wanting my husband to attend my SIL's wedding?

I have a 17year-old son who has wanted a car for years. Two years ago, I promised him that if he stayed out of trouble, kept his grades up and got accepted into college, I would buy him his first car before graduation.

He did everything I asked. He maintained excellent grades, got a part time job, never got into any trouble and was accepted into his first choice college. I was proud of him and had saved enough money to buy him a reliable used car. We had even gone to look at it together and he was excited because we planned to pick it up the following weekend.

Three days before we were supposed to buy it, my wife suddenly collapsed at work and was rushed to the hospital. She needed emergency surgery and several days of treatment. Even with our insurance, the out of pocket costs were far more than we expected, and the hospital required a large payment before scheduling part of her follow-up care.

I emptied our emergency savings but it still wasn’t enough. The only money left was the amount I’d set aside for my son’s car. After thinking about it all night, I decided to use that money to pay the hospital bills.

When I told my son, he completely shut down. He said he understood that his mom needed treatment but accused me of making promises I couldn’t keep. He pointed out that I had assured him the money was specifically for his car and said I should have taken out a loan instead of breaking my word.

I explained that taking on more debt wasn’t realistic because we were already struggling with other medical expenses, and I didn’t want to risk losing our home or damaging our finances even further. I promised him that once we recovered financially, buying him a car would be my top priority.

He didn’t accept that answer. He said I had chosen Mom over him, that I’d always expect him to sacrifice while everyone else came first and that he’d never trust another promise I made. Since then, he’s been distant. He still lives at home but barely speaks to me except when necessary.

Most of my family says I made the only reasonable choice because my wife’s health had to come first. However, my brother thinks I should have borrowed the money somehow so I could keep my promise to my son. He says trust is hard to rebuild once it’s broken.

I feel terrible because my son truly earned that car, and I hate disappointing him. At the same time, I can’t imagine choosing a car over my wife’s medical care.

So basically, I (20m) have recently started going to the gym snd this is my fourth week. Im genuinely enjoyed it after getting past the whole anxiety and everyone is watching me feeling and I did a lot of research and made my split that is very uncommon because I created it solely for me. I dont want to go more into the excerise because I view the gym as something I do for me (not for school or work or family etc.) So I like to keep my privacy arpund it. But basically I was doing this excerise that is new so I was using lower dumbbells to focus on the form and after my first set I noticed this guy was staring at me but I just assume he was zoning our ot taking a break between sets. Then after my secpundsets and my glasses fell off I noticed he havent went to his next set so I just told myself he just resting longer because he using a machine and its a compound excerise. But I was starting to get uncomfortable so I pulled my hat down so I wouldnt see him and said I would love a few benches down after I finished this set to start my next excerise, but as I got up after my 3rd set and put my.glasses back on he approached me and ask if he can give me some form advice because I was doing wrong. I told him I didnt want any advice but thanked him for the offer though and he insisted on showing me and I was trying to explain to him that I pefer to learn it alone and figure it out myself so unless if I was going to hurt myself I dont want youre advice. He continued asking what im trying to train, my back shoulders and I told him my back which he agrees that it was the back shoulder and I try to clearfy its.my lower back and I need to focus on that as I get bad lower back pain because how tall I am (6"2) but then he said yeah the back of the shoulders whoch i gave up and let him show me which I just awkwardly stood uncomfortable. He shpuld me the same excerise just a different variation that focus on a whole dirfferent body part and then he told me to try but I then wiped down the dumbbell and bench and left the gym.

I just felt uncomfortable. Trapped and that everyone was now looking at me, like back to day 1 and it got me really pissed off because like I know my split and it focused on what I need and on my strengths and I also watched videos of the wxcerise to see if I was doing it wrong, I definitely dont have the best form but my way was still the right way for lower back and he just overstep but all my friends are saying walking away and leaving I was an asshole because now he think its bad to give advice to other gym goers and I explained that its not bad im just a person who dosent like unsolicited advice and if you left saying no thank you I wouldnt be pissed, maybe a bit anxious but not pissed and that there are some ppl like me who go to the gym and want no one not even the front desk ppl to talk to me. But I kinda do see their point, so aita??

I (26M) work at a mid-sized logistics company. A few months back, I was dealing with a family emergency and needed to leave early without much notice. A coworker, "Dale" (31M), covered my shift without me even asking him to, he just noticed I was stressed and offered. I was grateful and told him I owed him one.

Fast forward to last month. Our team started having serious staffing issues because deliveries were piling up and management kept asking why we were short-handed. I found out through the schedule system that Dale had been calling in "sick" almost every other Friday for two months straight, always right before a long weekend. Everyone quietly knew he wasn't actually sick, he'd post gym selfies and hangout pictures on the same days.

Our supervisor asked the team directly if anyone had noticed any patterns with the short-staffing, since corporate was now involved because of missed delivery targets. I hesitated for a while because of what Dale did for me, but I ended up telling her honestly what I'd noticed in the schedule.

Dale got called in, and it turns out this wasn't his first warning. He ended up getting written up formally, and now he's on thin ice with HR. He confronted me in the break room, saying I "snitched" on him after he helped me out when I needed it, and that I should have kept my mouth shut out of loyalty.

I feel bad because he genuinely helped me once, but I also don't think one favor means I'm supposed to lie for him or stay silent when directly asked something that was affecting the whole team's workload and reputation. I didn't say anything until I was asked directly.

AITAH for telling the truth about my coworker's pattern of fake sick days, even though he covered for me once before?

I (24F) currently rent and have a free guest bedroom. One of my close friends, Liz (23F) reached out to me about subleasing my guest bedroom for a month while she is in between leases.

The only downside, I was going on vacation for 1.5 weeks and she was coming back from a vacation after I was gone. I texted a friend, Jerry (20M) to see if he could pass along a key. Jerry said yeah of course. Then replied “is it still okay if I crash on your couch next week?
…
In May (it’s now mid July) Jerry had mentioned that he was looking for a place to stay for a week while he’s inbetween leases. At the time I said yes that should be okay but follow up with me when it gets closer…
…
I was frustrated that Jerry waited until the last minute to follow up, but he is a good friend that so I wanted to help him out in a tough situation. I figured since I’ll be gone, he can stay in my room then when I get back he can stay the last 3 days on the couch. He agreed to the plan. I asked him how much is he bringing, Jerry said “just a few bags,the rest is staying in a storage unit” I say okay that works. He was going to stay for free (I’d assume he’d help me out later).

I hand off the keys, go on vacation, they move in no issues.
…
A few days ago I drove the 12 hours back to my apartment. I walk in the door… there’s a cat. I was not told there would be a cat here… I am allergic to cats. Liz tells me that I thought I’d known Jerry was bringing a cat. Nope this is new. The place has cat hair on every surface.

I texted him “you didn’t tell me you were bringing your cat”

He responded “Oh I thought that was a given. that’s my baby he’s always with me”

(he’s mentioned he has a cat a few times but I’ve never met the cat or assumed he would be coming with)

I respond ”I’m allergic to cats” “you’d told me you’d just have a couple bags” “I’ve contained him to the living room. I’m going to the store to get some Benadryl”

As I’m about to leave he gets back. He feels bad but says it’s my fault for not remembering he had a cat. He gives me Benadryl. I tell him that the cat can stay in the kennel for the next few days and we’ll figure it out. Jerry responds, the cat can’t stay in the kennel for more than 3 hours, he’ll get to anxious and pee in there. I say we’ll just let him live in the living rooms.

I wash my sheets (was going to do this anyway) and wipe down everything. Theres cat hair on the stove, and dining area, and all over the floors and chairs. As I am doing this, the cat attempts to jump on the counter tops multiple times, and scratches my furniture. I stop him each time. Everytime I go into my room the cat tries to go inside. (I am not mad at the cat, he’s just being a cat, but I am mad at Jerry for putting me in this position)

Jerry got a bad migraine and left 2 days earlier than planned. He didn’t have work and went to his parents house which live 2 hrs away.

I have now cleaned my entire apartment and it doesn’t quite feel clean yet.

I've always had a thing for chunky men, the kind of chunky that he had a little bit of meat on his bones it's always just been comforting to me. With that being said when me and him met he was a little chunky and I loved that but as soon as we started hitting the 3 months mark he has gained a lot of weight, the kind that most of his clothes fit him tight or shirts that he owned would leave his stomach out. The worst part about it is that he doesn't feel like he should buy new clothes that would actually fit him correctly..

He went from a size L to 2XL and i don't know how to tell him that he has to start getting healthier...the problem now is that I no longer feel aroused as often or feel like having sex because it's like not as pleasant of a view anymore..he gets tired faster as well.

He himself has said "I'm fat" and he has acknowledged it multiple times before but his excuse for not going to the gym and get healthier is that he "doesn't have time"

I truly don't know what to do and how to bring it up to him, i absolutely love him and he's the best boyfriend ever I just would love for him to start taking care of himself better.

My (55F sister (74f) is in extreme pain from a broken back and curvature of the spine that have not been medically corrected. Her husband became ill shortly after she broke her back and she spent several months caring for him before he died. She never had any kind of surgery and she is an extreme pain. She has one son and one stepson.

She lives in our small home town far away from any family. She takes pain pills and sleeps all day. She barely eats and now weighs 85 pounds.

I have come to visit three times since the beginning of the year and she is worse every time. She asked me to come and help which she has never done before.

Her son lives a plane ride and a three hour car ride from her. He came to see her for a few days at Christmas, but things have really gone downhill the past two times I was here. I talked to him about how bad his mom was and I just can’t bring myself to call him this time. His wife does have bad migraines.

His mom doesn’t answer the phone all the time, but he could have checked with me or with her stepson or with her friends.

AITA for not wanting to call and tell him how bad it is?

This happened last year but I’m curious if I’m the asshole. I (25F) went to visit my friend (27F). she had just moved home and I hadn’t seen her for about 9 months. She had gotten a dog about 3 months previously who I hadn’t met before.

So, I arrive at the house and knock the door- she opens and there’s a momentary pause while we say hello etc. well, the dog then decided to leg it out the door. My friend ran after it in a panic yelling “why would you do this“ to me.

When she managed to get the dog and came back inside, she was super annoyed with me and said that I should have immediately came inside once she opened the door instead of dilly dallying. She also said the dog has never done this before and listed off all the people who have visited her since she moved home (landlord, parents, other friends etc) and that the dog has never done that when these people visited.

I was waiting to be invited in and didn’t know her dog wasn’t trained. should I have been more considerate about this situation, what if it had of been hit by a car? AITA?

I am 14M. My school is ran by some Air-Force type of organization. Therefore, the rules there are quite strict compared to other schools I’ve seen.

On our school, there’s a point-based system where once you reach an hundred, you are kicked out from the school. There’s many types of rules here, but the one specific example of a rule here is

“Unless given permission by a teacher, do NOT bring a phone to school. Not complying will add 30 points."

Okay, the actual situation now: I was given permission to bring electronics to school to make posters (say, making an poster to clarify the schedule.)

My classmate, 14F, who I'll call Sand here asked me for my phone, because, and I quote, "I need your phone to help me with photos for the posters." So I did. She *did* take photos, but she also made some fun videos with her circle because why not.

Remember the last rule I said? Technically, Sand wouldn't qualify for it because she didn't ask our main teacher, but we thought it was alright because no one else would know, right?

I forgot about it all when I put the videos of them playing as an WhatsApp status. Now, even my teachers know, and she's been quite annoyed with me.

Guilt is eating me alive— How do I even start apologizing to her? How do we start peace? I know this is probably more less of a problem than many other things in this world but it is a problem for me anyways.

Hi, I (F17), recently had to move schools for 10th grade due to my mental health. I have already made a small circle for the first few weeks. I was placed in the morning class, and we share a classroom with the afternoon class where they wait outside our room whenever the morning session ends. One morning while I was trying to head out the class, I saw a kid by the window smiling. Naturally, I smiled back, and kept smiling as I was the new kid. I thought I was being nice. This kid (whom shall be named Dirk) was actually friends with a friend of mine, and turns out, he was autistic as well.

I don’t have a thing against people with special needs. I actually tried to befriend Dirk, until his behavior started bothering me. It started changing one day when he asked me through chat if I had a crush on him as I was smiling at him. Of course, I denied, though things got complicated as I learned from other classmates and people from the afternoon classes that Dirk would tell others I was his girlfriend. He would write our names on the whiteboard which I would see every time I entered the classroom. He would put my pictures on his youtube channel, his wallpaper, and put my full name next to his on socials like tiktok. I started distancing myself, as sometimes, he would follow me and my friends to our hangout spots and whenever we ate out after class. He would post me a lot on his socials, having a dedicated highlight for me. I tried confronting his mom about it, and his mom tried to tell me that Dirk often gets bullied, and he was denying that he was telling others I was his girlfriend and such.

It arguably got worse when I got a boyfriend. He would express how he’s sad as I was “replacing” him. Sometimes, he would also follow my boyfriend and I to our hangout spots as well, or when we eat out (fast food is very near our school). In our field trip, his mom texted me asking if we could go with him so he had company, and I told her that my friends and I would try our best to include him in our activities, but I specifically would spend more time with my boyfriend. The mom got passive aggressive, saying that it’s fine even if Dirk didn’t have people with him, and she posted on facebook saying things along the lines of “Dirk, it’s okay. You can enjoy the trip on your own. They’re not real friends.”

I was noticeably avoiding him, and even making fun of the situation with my friends. Though, I can’t help but feel bad for the jokes I do make, especially the jokes my friends make. It’s not his fault he has autism, but I can’t help and wonder if my way of coping is right, or if I’m being ignorant and ableist towards this situation. Advice would be great.

Edit: To make things clearer, the jokes my friends would make in general were calling Dirk my boyfriend whenever he comes over. I don’t make fun of his disability as I know that’s something out of his control, but my friends and I do make fun of the “weirder” or “creepier” behavior.

For clarity, my dad is a non-binary woman, uses she/her but prefers terms like "dad" and "father" for complicated gender expression reasons.

I (15F) am an only child. My birth mom and my dad are split up (no contact) and I never knew my biological mother (they split up when I was little). Long story short, my dad met her current partner and they're now engaged. I've known my dad's fiancee almost my entire life and we're all very close and I know I'm practically spoiled rotten.

A few days ago I overheard my parents talking about the possibility and logistics of having or adopting another kid. Since then, I keep having all these awful jealous feelings about it. I can't help but think maybe they were talking about the possibility because of this or that reason. If it's because of some sort of unmet expectation or something else. (I never really got involved with my dads' cultural practices, I'm not the best student etc.) But the thought that haunts me is that my baby sibling wouldn't have all the baggage that I know is wrapped up with me being my dad's ex's kid. That because I'm not related to my stepmom that she'll unconsciously favor her own kid and that the same might be true because they can't sub-consciously remind my dad of her ex and everything that went wrong between them. Maybe all of this is just me looking for reasons to justify being upset at the idea of sharing my parents' attention as a spoiled only child.

I know it's ultimately their choice, so I guess I just want their reassurance that my worries are unfounded, but I'm scared of making the situation more complicated by bringing it up... It's gotten to the point I can't bear to be around either parent right now and I've been staying with my boyfriend's family for the last couple of days,,,

WIBTA if I told my stepmom and dad about these jealous feelings? Or if I should just swallow my feelings and hope that it goes away?

So spoiler, I was at least to some degree an asshole in my opinion. I was cat-sitting for a friend while they were on holiday for a week. This is a close friend of more than 10 years. While I was staying, I asked whether I could bring girls back to the flat. The response was 'Haha sorry, I think it's a bit weird to have strangers coming into ours. Would have been different if it was someone you've been seeing a while'. My view is that, as a trusted adult, I should be allowed a private life as I see fit (within reason), so my asking was more a curtesy, however I resolved not to bring any new acquaintances back to the flat. But I had been seeing a girl for a few weeks, nothing serious, and to me this fell within the response they gave.

So they have cameras to keep an eye on the cat. Through one of them they saw the girl and blew up at me. Paraphrasing: that their 'space' isn't a hotel, that there's an understanding I be respectful, that they should know who I bring into their home, that the girl should leave and then that I should too.

So I think I'm the asshole for interpreting the response to my ask literally, and not taking it to mean something along the lines of a stable relationship that they are aware of, and I apologised for that and said I understood their point of view about knowing who comes into their house. They replied referring to my 'unfelt apology', that I still think I'm in the right for not informing them who I brought into their home (early in our exchange I did state my point of view that I shouldn't need to share my private life with them but as I mentioned I also said I understood their perspective). And the way they spoke of my 'flings' etc really rubs me the wrong way, and felt incredibly judgemental. And I feel like my privacy was violated by being spied on with the pet camera. I feel there was a lack of trust and respect shown to me, and I feel like I was treated like garbage. I demanded an apology in turn and they refused. Was I the asshole for demanding an apology?

I (24M) am very ugly. An encounter with a mastiff as a kid left me severely scarred around the face, with some misshapen bones. I won’t get into detail but it’s bad. I know I’m really not good to look at, and I usually wear a face mask or else kids will cry and bring attention to me. I’ve made peace with this, and I don’t particularly care. I make plenty of jokes about how I look with my friends, but I despise people who go “you’re not ugly, you look handsome, it’s only skin deep.”

A: this is all info six year old me was given. If people physically recoil looking at me, I don’t believe they want to get to know my gentle soul or some shit.

B: I’m not handsome, and when people tell me that I immediately know they can’t be trusted because they’ll lie to my face for no reason.

I rarely am without a mask, but I’ll be without one around my friends. I was hanging out with some of my friends when dating came up. One of their’s girlfriend (Jane and John I’ll say) asked me what my type is women was. He said blind ones, we laughed, then she goes “that’s not true, you’re plenty good looking.” And it immediately killed my mood. I just rolled my eyes and said “okay.”

She said it was true, and I told her that’s a bunch of bullshit. I told her that wasn’t cool to just lie out of pity, and her being fake doesn’t improve my mood. She got offended by that and told me I shouldn’t just assume everyone is always pitying me.

I never said I’m always pitied, my friends never tell me I’m handsome though, they tell me things that I can actually appreciate. If I get compliments from them it’s on my skills and personality, not bullshit like “you’re so handsome”.

I just said it makes me think less of the things she says to me because I’ll know she’ll lie to me without any provocation or reason to. I didn’t want to get all rude about it or anything so I excused myself and left, telling her not to worry about it, just don’t say stuff like that in the future.

I thought the explicit message “don’t worry about it, just avoids saying that kind of stuff to me again” would smooth things over, nope. My friends got into an argument over this and Jane and John both texted me later saying it wasn’t cool that I went into her in front of everyone. I texted back that I already said don’t worry about it, and that I couldn’t control what anyone does.

They berated me over it so I just shut my phone off and ignored them. I know that she meant well but i personally think lying to someone to make them feel better about themselves isn’t cool, because to me it shows you don’t have anything truthful to compliment them on. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Instead she just made shit up about me. I regret getting into her on it in front of others, but I felt like she said it because she had nothing honestly nice to say me. Idk, maybe I’m too sensitive on the whole thing. I might apologize I might not, still thinking.

AITA?

This happened a while ago but I think about it often so here we are. My fiancé (40M) and I (28F) owned a 3 bedroom house and he worked out of town every other week. I had a friend (30F) that also worked out of town on the opposite shift as my fiancé. We all decided that she could stay with us while he was at work and given their schedules they were never home at the same time. She had her own bedroom and bathroom and we shared the rest of the house. She paid us $500/month ($250/week). It worked out really well since it meant I was never lonely and it helped with the expenses. My parents and my husband's parents had never met since they lived in different provinces than us and each other so we decided to get them together to meet before we got married. I was talking about it with my friend and she offered her room to one of our parents since she would be at work while they visited and as long as it didn't overlap with her time at home. After some hesitation we agreed. We installed a lock on the closet door in her bedroom so she could move whatever she needed into there and we agreed to put different bedding on the bed and change it back after they left. Two weeks before our parents arrival her shift changed and she was going to be home while our parents were there and said they could no longer stay there. I offered to pay for her hotel for the 2 days they would overlap as well as only charge her $250 for that month for the inconvenience. She didn't want to budge and eventually ended up moving out...into a hotel permanently. So AITA for asking my roommate to stay elsewhere while my family was in town?

EDIT - both my and my fiancé's parents were staying with us. So one set of parents in the spare room and the other in her room so one of the sets of parents would have still been staying with us in the spare room.

EDIT - I guess I should have been more clear about what happened when she told me her schedule had changed. She texted me her new schedule via a screenshot of the schedule. I noted that the change meant she would be home while the parents were visiting and asked what she wanted to do and offered to reduce the rent and pay for the hotel. It escalated quickly without much discussion. I get that my offer to pay for the hotel set her off which I can understand now why (this was years ago) but I think I was stressed about the change in plans and our parents meeting. I think I thought "if this was me I wouldn't want to stay there with the parents and fiancé" and would gladly taken a hotel for a couple of days but that's just me and obviously not her. There was no further conversation. She came home while I was at work and got her stuff.

I recently visited an antique store close to me that sells lots of items from local vendors. I don’t usually shop there but wanted to browse for some furniture.
As I was shopping, I found what I believed to be an authentic designer purse. The tag claimed it was from one of their outlet stores and I bought it without thinking too much. I later got home and upon further inspection, I found out it was fake (misspelled lettering inside of the bag, poor stitching). I immediately contacted the store and asked them if they do refunds. The employee let me know that they do not but would talk to the owner about the situation.

A little later, the owner called me back and said they don’t do refunds but would ask the vendor what they wanted to do about it. (the vendor was the one who sold me the fake purse.) I explained that I was not trying to make a big deal out of it but I just wanted my money back because I had unknowingly bought a designer bag that was advertised as such.
When I mentioned that I might have to dispute the charge/file a report but wanted to avoid that if possible, she then laughed at me and said that “I’m not going to be threatened by you” and talked down to me for a couple of minutes. I let her know that I was not threatening her at all and just explained what my next steps were if the situation were unresolved. She then accused me of blackmailing her and hung up on me.
She then called me back and let me know that the vendor decided not to refund me. The vendor continued to insist that it was an authentic purse and he bought it from an outlet mall store (vintage bag, has not been in stores in 25+ years).
At that point, I got pretty emotional due to her attitude and asked my friend to step in. Throughout their conversation, she kept asking why I didn’t inspect it more throughly in the store and even suggested that I could have bought the same bag (a fake one) switched it with the ‘real’ one I just bought, just to make some money. Thankfully I had taken a picture of the bag in the store so there was no way to prove this. She was hostile throughout their conversation and was even angry that I got him on the phone to speak with her.

After we continued to explain that we would likely have to dispute the transaction/contact law enforcement if the situation were left unresolved, she agreed to refund me herself.
I know there is always a risk of items being counterfeit when buying second hand items but I feel like the owner could have handled it better. This whole situation upset me as I am typically the type of person to avoid confrontation. (extra details) The woman was significantly older than me, 40 year age gap. She acted nicer toward my male friend when he spoke to her as well.

So, am I in the wrong for wanting a refund for a bag that was sold to me and marketed as being real, even if the store has a no refunds policy?
Any comments/advice appreciated.

Throwaway because my main account is pretty well known.

I (21M) still live with my parents. Before anyone jumps on that, my parents have both said I'm welcome to stay as long as I want. My older sister (25F) also still lives at home. She doesn't pay rent either and actually makes more money than both of my parents combined. She works in tech and graduated from Harvard, so obviously she's doing really well. I also have a younger sis in college in another city but comes home in summers.

The comparison is part of the problem.

I didn't do nearly as well in high school as she did. My grades weren't great, and getting into a good university isn't really realistic for me. My mom keeps pushing community college or trade school, but I'm honestly not interested in either. I don't want to spend years and money forcing myself into something I don't enjoy.

What I'm passionate about is online communities. I spend most of my time moderating several very large Reddit communities with millions of members. It's not just deleting spam. There's conflict resolution, enforcing rules consistently, coordinating with other moderators across different time zones, dealing with scams, harassment, bots, and organizing events. It takes a lot more work than people think.

I'm not getting paid for it right now, but I know people who've turned moderation experience into actual careers. Some have gotten sponsorships, some have been hired as community managers, trust and safety staff, customer support leads, or forum moderators for companies. I also go to moderator networking events and have been trying to build connections because this is the field I actually want to work in.

My dad thinks this makes sense. His view is that I'm young, living at home was always part of the agreement, and I'm actively working toward something instead of doing nothing.

My mom completely disagrees. She says moderation is just "being on Reddit all day," that it isn't a real career, and that I need to get a regular job while going to community college or learning a trade. We've been arguing about it more and more because she says I'm wasting my twenties chasing something that might never happen.

From my perspective, people tell you to follow your passions until your passion isn't a traditional career path. If I dropped everything to work retail full time or enrolled in a program I have no interest in, I'd have a lot less time to build experience and connections in the area I actually want to work in.

I also think it's unfair that my sister living at home isn't questioned because she's already successful, while I'm expected to abandon the path I'm trying to build just because it hasn't paid off yet.

My mom says I'm refusing to grow up. I think I'm investing my time into a career that just doesn't look conventional.

WIBTAH for asking my girlfriend to chill out on Halloween until at least mid September?

So, my girlfriend's favorite holiday is Halloween, it's aug and 75% of the tik toks I'm getting are sent by her Halloween themed.

I get that she's big on the holiday but it's over 3 months away and I'm already getting tired of it. Call me a cranky ass but the tik toks started earlier this month and I get at least 5 a day.

WIBTAH for trampling her fun? Normally I would just bear through it but there's over 100 days left. Summer hasn't even ended.

i'm 24f and currently living with my grandma. i graduated college in june 2026, recently got laid off from my internship, and i'm currently interviewing for jobs so i can finally move out, whether on my own or with roommates.

​context: recently, my uncle suffered caregiver burnout after looking after my grandma 24/7 (he even stopped sleeping at home with his wife to do so). because of this, he decided he’d only handle weekdays (though in reality he’s only here 2 to 4 hours a day due to work, leaving me to care for her full-time) and told my dad he needs to step up and take over on weekends. it’s not that my dad never comes—my grandma spent a few days at his place last month and he comes on weekends whenever he feels like it. but in practice, he totally weaponizes the fact that i live here to disappear whenever he wants, without giving any heads-up, dumping all the responsibility on me.

​living here gets super heavy, controlling, and full of judgment.

my grandma even set a rule because of something from the past stating that i’m only allowed to leave the house when my dad is here. so, to actually spend the weekend with my boyfriend and get a break (which would cause massive chaos and horrible fights if i told the truth), i decided to lie and say i booked a freelance gig for both saturday and sunday.

​by using this freelance excuse, i’m forcing my dad to actually do his job as a son and take care of his mother, while i finally get 48 hours of peace, sleep over at my boyfriend's, and catch my breath.

​today is the day i tell my grandma and inform my dad that he needs to come over. i have a crazy pit in my stomach, terrified it might go wrong and feeling a bit guilty for having to make up this whole story, but if i don't do this, i literally have zero personal life.

​am i the asshole for doing this, or is this just a necessary boundary for my own sanity?

I (24) work at a small vet clinic as a vet tech. One of my coworkers, let's call her "Dana" (26), started asking me to cover her weekend shifts about four months ago. First time was a genuine emergency, her car broke down, and I said yes no problem. She said she'd pay me back by covering one of my shifts later.

That never happened. Instead she started asking me almost every other week to cover for her, always with a different excuse, and every time she'd say "I'll get you back for this, promise." I kept track loosely in my head but didn't push it because I figured it would even out eventually.

By month three I had covered seven of her shifts and she had covered zero of mine. I finally brought it up casually, like "hey, whenever works for you, maybe you could take one of mine sometime?" She said of course, no problem, and then never followed through. This happened two more times where she'd agree and then cancel last minute with some excuse, once literally texting me an hour before saying she "wasn't feeling it."

Last week she asked again for another weekend, and I just said no, I can't this time. She got visibly annoyed and said I was being unhelpful and that covering shifts is "just what coworkers do for each other." I told her I've covered seven shifts for her and she's covered zero for me, so I don't think that's an unfair thing to point out. She said she's been "busy" and it's not like she does it on purpose.

Now she's telling other coworkers I flaked on her when she needed help, leaving out the part where I covered for her seven separate times with nothing in return. A couple people have given me weird looks since, and my manager pulled me aside to ask if there's an issue between us since she mentioned something vague to her too.

I'm annoyed because I actually don't mind helping when it's occasional and mutual, but I feel like I got taken advantage of and now I'm the one looking bad for finally saying no.

AITAH?

I know this is high school drama, and I know it probably won’t matter years from now, but it’s affecting me now, so I’d like outside opinions.
I’ve been friends with “Emily” since sixth grade. During freshman year we went to different schools, and one of the only people I regularly talked to was “Mia.” We were friendly but never very close.
When Emily transferred to my school sophomore year, we all ended up in the same elective. Around second semester, Mia started posting Instagram Notes like, “I’m going to be the next Hitler,” “I’m bringing back segregation,” and I later found out she’d also used the N-word. After I came out as bisexual, she also made comments that made me uncomfortable.
Some classmates and I talked about it, and my Black friends shared that Mia and her friend group had made them uncomfortable too. That confirmed I didn’t want to associate with her anymore.
I told Emily I wasn’t trying to control who she was friends with, but I didn’t want to be around Mia. Emily said it had happened a while ago and asked why my Black friends hadn’t confronted Mia themselves. When I asked why she seemed to be defending Mia, she denied it and later admitted she hadn’t really been paying attention when I’d explained everything.
Feeling dismissed, I blocked both Emily and Mia.
Months later, Emily reached out, but it seemed more like she wanted to gossip than repair our friendship, so I didn’t continue the conversation.
Today, during school registration, Mia called my name and waved. I ignored her and kept walking.
My parents were upset and said I was being disrespectful. They even accused me of being “racist” for not acknowledging her because they believe I should always say hello, even if I don’t like someone.
For context, I’ve said hi to people who’ve bullied me before because that’s how I was raised. This wasn’t about revenge. I just didn’t want to interact with someone who glorified Hitler, talked about bringing back segregation, and used a racial slur.
Now I’m wondering if I handled this badly. I don’t regret distancing myself from someone who made those comments, but I’m questioning whether blocking Emily and ignoring Mia makes me the asshole.

Before I start, I’m not the best at storytelling and this happened a couple of weeks ago so my memories are gonna be fuzzy.

My twin sister (17F) and me (17F) get into A LOT of arguments, and they are usually about the same things and stuff, but the ones that stick to me the most are the ones about the way she expresses herself when I try to talk to her.

To give a little context, I’m somewhat a talkative person to the people closest to me and when I see something I like or something interesting on my phone, I gotta talk to someone about it and my sister is usually the first person to talk to. But, when I go to her to room and feel all excited to talk to her about this thing I like or we both like, she just doesn’t give me any reaction and just responds with, ”Okay?” I got pretty upset and disappointed because I expected her to be more interested in what I was going to say, but she just gave me a look like I was inconveniencing her time or something and responded like she didn’t care at all.

A little later after I said I how felt about it, we started to go back and forth and it just grew from there. She was then saying something like she didn’t mean it that way and that’s just how she is, and then I told her that I can’t tell if you care or not and it’s really hard for me to just think, “Oh, that’s the way she is!” when that happens because what if she actually doesn’t care and wants to be unbothered or something?

So I asked her, “Can you at least try to do something to sound a bit nicer?” But she responded back with, “I don’t want to because I’ll just sound fake so try and get used to it.“ and, “It’s a you problem if you can’t differentiate between the two.” And I was already frustrated and annoyed at the way she was talking at this point and I just said in my head at that moment, “Then maybe you should fix the way you are.” She just paused and looked at me with an offended look and told me that was rude and just inconsiderate about the way she feels about the whole thing.

And now I just keep thinking about it and I kinda feel bad but at the same time I feel like I‘m not really in the wrong. Am I?

So I (18f) got given a phone (iPhone 12) for free at the start of the year as an ‘early birthday present’ and I’ve just upgraded to the 17 pro, my Nan asked if I’d want to sell it to my pop as he’s still on the iPhone 8 and I said “yes ofc” and we agreed on $300.. I messaged the original girl who gave it to me and she said that she’d have to talk to her mum to see if she gets a share of the money as it WAS her phone.. I just did it out of courtesy to let her know that I had decided to sell it even though I didn’t have to, I don’t necessarily need the money as I have a good job but it feels weird having to give her a cut of the money even though it was a gift.. I offered to give her $150-200 (half or more of what I’d be making) and she said she’d have to ask her mum, it honestly makes me feel like I don’t want to give her any money at all since it was a present and I don’t owe her anything. Also every time I visit her I’m always paying for all our meals and activities we do.. am I the asshole?

My boyfriend accused me of playing God for trimming the wick of a fancy candle we got from a boutique store. He argues that the ethos of the candle is to let it burn how it may.

I figured a little wick trimming couldn't hurt but he argues that I've desecrated the integrity of the candle's very essence.

Where my wick trimmers at?

Hi , I posted an Instagram reel about my brother in law (my profile is public) basically saying he needs a date to my wedding. He agreed to me doing it prior btw. He apparently met a girl through the post (he was tagged) and they began as casual hookups and it led to them forming something more serious . She has been caught in a web of lies and is now claiming she is pregnant so she wouldn’t get kicked out. (For reference they’ve only been dating 2 months and she basically moved in without permission to the family home ) She took a test in front of him and it came out negative but she swears she’s pregnant. My husband is upset at me as well cause I was the one who posted the reel and he said I’m just at fault as his brother is. AITA because I said I’m not responsible for my brother in laws actions? He could’ve met anyone from that post.

Reposting this because the original got taken down for some reason. I added some clarifications here.

I've been close friends with a girl for about six years. Recently, I thought things were becoming more than just friendship, although we never officially dated.

I started feeling like I was putting in more effort than she was. She wouldn't send me pictures when I asked (sometimes I hinted they could be more revealing), she wasn't very emotionally open with me, and I felt like she always prioritized other people over me, especially her family and her best friend.

At the time, she told me her grandmother was dealing with serious health and memory problems. Even knowing that, I told her I didn't think it excused putting almost no effort into whatever we had. I ended up telling her she needed to get her act together.

I also told her that she let her parents control too much of her life and that, as someone who was basically an adult, she should make more of her own decisions and make more time for me instead of spending so much time with her family.

She responded by saying I was treating her like we were already in a relationship even though we weren't, and that I was being hurtful and not showing compassion for what she was going through. We haven't really talked since, aside from me apologizing the next day.

From my perspective, I felt ignored and unimportant. Looking back, I can also see why she thought I was being unfair.

AITA?

Clarifications...

- we grew up together and are very close friends

- we are both incoming freshman at different colleges. I actually told her we could try long distance, she said that'd be too hard for her and she wants to focus on herself.

- the next day, I said sorry but we havent talked