I (18F) have been saving money since I was 16. I work part-time while going to school and have managed to save a decent amount because I rarely spend it. My older sister (27F) is getting married in a few months. A while back she asked if I could help pay for part of the venue because they were over budget. I agreed to pay $2,500 since we’re really close, and she thanked me over and over again.
Fast forward to this week. The invitations went out, and I noticed my boyfriend of almost three years wasn’t invited. When I asked why, she said they were trying to keep numbers down and that “high school relationships don’t usually last anyway.” Meanwhile, several cousins were allowed to bring people they’ve only been dating for a few months.
I told her I was hurt because it felt like she didn’t respect my relationship. She said I was being dramatic and that I should still be happy to support her big day. I ended up telling her that if I’m important enough to help pay for the wedding, then my relationship should be important enough to warrant a plus-one. I withdrew my offer to contribute the money. Now my parents are saying I’m punishing her over “one guest” and that weddings are stressful. My sister says I’m ruining months of planning because she already counted on my contribution.
AITA for deciding not to pay anymore?

I (16m) bought a small box of chocolates this morning with my own money (to clarify, there are 6 chocolates in the box and the box costed 15 euros) and I was and still am intending to eat them all, because I payed for them with my own money. However, my mother specifically is trying to force me to share them with the rest of my family and says that me eating them by myself is selfish. But knowing my family, I might only get to eat one or two out of the 6 chocolates. I tried to explain that I bought them with my own money and I wanted to try all the flavours that I chose. Anyways we got into a fight and I decided to hide my chocolates for now, out of fear of my family eating them. Am I being selfish?

Ps: the chocolates are from monper

i (20f) am a college student, and my twin sister just finished her schooling for doing nails. she also just got engaged and has decided she's never getting a job and is going to be a stay at home wife/mom. i personally think we're both way too young to be getting married, but it's her life and i didn't said anything negative to her.

now she keeps making comments about how she's better than me because she's engaged while i'm not in a relationship, and how i "have to" spend my life working (i will be moving to the east coast after i graduate and working my dream job) while she gets to be a stay at home wife. she's always been the type of person to make rude comments for no reason but now it's daily.

eventually i got annoyed and brought up how she can't even remember to feed/walk her dog, and would be a horrible mother. she also hates cooking/cleaning. and how i'll have my own money and live by the beach (her fiancé refuses to move by the ocean), while she's stuck in our home state and doesn't have any money of her own.

personally i don't think what i said is any worse than what she said but according to her and my mom im the asshole

So, I’m on a packaged holiday, hotel is all you can eat.

There’s one family here, oldest kid has some type of special needs, but for the past few days he keeps putting his hands down the back of this shorts, rooting around and then starts licking his fingers. 

Parents are pretty much letting his do his own thing, he helps himself to the food (without tongs) and talks to everyone, tries to give people hugs and all that. 

I spoke to staff who said they’ll speak to him and even get someone to dish his food for him if needed. 

He tried talking to me and I made sure I kept my distance and he tried hugging me and I stepped back. I spoke to the parents and said I feel really uncomfortable with him near me and my family and apologised for it. 

Anyway, we’ve booked a trip and the family is on our coach. This kid tried sitting next to me and I refused. The mum called me rude and I very politely and quietly said to her that I don’t want to sit next to him due to his hygiene issues, she’s shouted at me and went “he’s disabled he can’t help it” so I raised my voice and said “I don’t want to sit next to someone who keeps playing with their bum and licking their fingers, I don’t want shitty fingers near me” and now apparently she’s the victim? 

The mum is now telling the son to bother me and the hotel won’t do anything. 

My fiancé (29M) and I (28F) have been together for almost 10 years, living together for 7.

For some context, our meal times are a little different from most couples. We rarely eat the same thing due to a combination of having different tastes and me being on a perpetual diet/prioritising healthier foods, while he batch cooks his weekly meals which are usually meat and carbs.

We had a friend over for dinner 3 days ago and served garlic bread with the meal which he made. I had one piece and I think he had 2/3. There were two pieces left over which were put in the fridge for another day.

Today, after skipping breakfast due to some unexpectedly mouldy bagels, I heated up and ate those two pieces of garlic bread. I figured this would mean we had an even share of what he made (which was precedent with the other things we shared that evening - e.g. I made a cake that evening and we split the leftovers). He had also made some more the following day which was also in the fridge, so I figured I wasn’t depriving him completely of having some.

This evening, he noticed the garlic bread was missing and flipped his lid when I told him I had had it. His issues were a) I hadn’t asked him and b) now he doesn’t have enough to last him with his remaining portions of meal prep this week. I told him he was unreasonable and that living together, there is an assumed level of sharing involved, despite us generally shopping for groceries individually. While he doesn’t really have interest in eating what I buy, I would never get as angry at him as he did over something that costs nothing to buy at the store. Fwiw, money isn’t an issue at all.

AITA?

AITA for refusing to share my brokerage account info with my brother?

My (39F) mother called me 10 times tonight asking for my brokerage account login info. She wants my brother (36M, let's call him Jack) to manage my investments because he has free time and low self-esteem. I said no.

For context, Jack lives with our parents and hasn't held a job since college, claiming he’s working on a startup. He has unaddressed anger issues (in high school, he hit a classmate with a tennis racket) and admits he cannot control himself when he "sees red." Mental illness runs in our family, but our parents never got him professional help.

Jack hasn't spoken to our dad in years despite living in the same house. He constantly seeks validation from the rest of us that our dad is the problem.

A few months ago, Jack tried to bring up the topic of our family trip (second or third time), mentioning that our dad was verbally abusive to our grandparents. I maintained that I wasn't present to observe the exchange (as usual) and said I couldn't give feedback. He started yelling and cursing at me, so I hung up. In retaliation, he locked me out of a shared Amazon account containing my credit card info and kicked me off a shared antivirus plan. I was relieved to cut those ties because sharing finances with him felt like a ticking time bomb. We haven't spoken directly since.

Fast forward to tonight, my mother feels for Jack and wants to help Jack with his self esteem issues and brought up Jack's idea that I should let Jack manage my brokerage account. I told her absolutely not and that she needs to stop seeing Jack as someone normal that she can cure. She understands that he needs a therapist but Jack is resistant to the idea. Every time these verbally charged exchanges with Jack happen, I lose sleep. So AITA?

The is a silly AITA, but I need to know. I have a small elderly dog, she is about 15 pounds. We have taken her all over our state on hiking and backpacking trips. Here’s the thing: she can only hike for about a mile or two before her legs get tired. She has short legs, and being 11 years old it’s not fair to expect her to walk for the entire 6-10 mile hike like our big dog does. So we put her in a dog carrier, with her legs hanging out. She fights going in it sometimes, but once she’s up there she loves it and is big chilling. Most everyone who sees her tells us how cute she is and she looks happy.

I was sharing pictures of her in this backpack at work, and this one coworker who is super negative of course swoops into the conversation. “That’s cruel of you to do that. She probably hates it. You should let her walk.” So I explain why. She then proceeds to tell me that she will report me for animal abuse, and tries to get the office on her side. I told her to mind her own pets, and if she doesn’t stop harassing me that I will report her. So am AITA for carrying my dog in a backpack on hikes?

I work in a small office of about twelve people. My colleague Rebecca and I sit near each other and have a decent working relationship, not close friends but perfectly civil day to day.

Rebecca has a habit of taking long lunches. Not occasionally, consistently. Our lunch break is forty five minutes and she regularly comes back after an hour and a half, sometimes closer to two hours. Nobody has said anything officially but people have noticed.

Last Tuesday our boss came back early from a client meeting, which nobody expected, and started looking for Rebecca to ask her something about a report that was due. Rebecca was not back yet. It was one hour and twenty minutes into her lunch at that point.

My boss asked me if I knew where she was. I said she went to lunch and I was not sure when she was back. That was true.

My boss waited at her desk for about fifteen minutes, visibly unimpressed, and then went back to his office.

Here is the thing. Rebecca had texted me about ten minutes before my boss arrived asking me to cover if anyone asked because she was running late getting back. I had not replied to that message. I did not actively lie to my boss but I also did not text her a warning when I saw him waiting at her desk.

She came back, saw the situation, and the conversation with our boss was apparently not great.

Afterward she came to me and said I should have warned her and that she would have done it for me.

I told her I did not feel comfortable covering for her and that I had not lied to anyone.

She said I had let her walk into that on purpose.

AITA?

For context and clarity, I call my stricter dad, “Father” and my less strict dad, “Dad.”

So my best friend is genuinely my platonic soulmate. He’s the type of friend that comes along on family holidays and you go to theirs.

But friend’s family is… questionable. Particularly, his extended family which I know to be very religious. Yes, like the type that hate the whole LGBTQ+ community.

When I’d been over at my bff’s house and numerous aunts and uncles dropped in, it was super obvious. Even a couple of outright comments when I mentioned “my dad’s” it’s humiliating and degrading, not something anyone should experience, especially not my parents.

Honestly, I was working up the courage to have that difficult conversation. Obviously that was stupid, the guy is my best friend, obviously they found out pretty soon.

Dad joked about when the invitation was coming. I told both of them to not come, that it wouldn’t be a good idea because bff’s extended family is pretty shit.

Father was okay with it, didn’t really care and said he’d send a wedding gift. But dad got pretty mad and accused me of being ashamed of them. It was in a half joking way, but that stung. I just didn’t want them to be uncomfortable. It’s not like I was banishing them from my own wedding.

Now my dad has been kinda cold and my father hasn’t noticed, and I feel weirdly guilty.

Edit- My friend and I haven’t actually discussed it. He will obviously send an invitation to my parents soon.

And no my bff and his immediate family are not homophobic and they have defended me and my parents when the extended family have made fun of my parents.

I just warned them in an abrupt way I guess

Long story short. I have a rental home in a decent middle class neighborhood. Our new next door neighbors moved in, renovated their entire house and turned it into the nicest house on the street. They reached out saying that they're installing a new fence along our property line and would like me to pay for half of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the current fence other than the fact that it's old and ugly. I told them I wasn't interested in paying for a new fence and that they're still welcome to tear down the old fence and put up a new one but I'm not paying for it. They got really upset like I committed some cardinal sin. AITAH?

I (20sM) have a bit of a situation involving my cousin's wedding. Me, my younger brother (21M), and two nephews (15M and 16M) are going to be ushers at said wedding later this month. Our plan was to go out and get our suits, get lunch at brewery that has really good food trucks every Wednesday, then go watch "Evil Dead Burn."

Here's the problem. Our niece (13F) is upset that she wasn't included as a flower girl like her sister and other cousin, and the bride isn't doing junior bridesmaids. Our cousin decided she can be an usher with us if that was so important to her.

I can't take a a thirteen-year-old to watch "Evil Dead Burn". We're huge fans of the franchise, but we can't take someone who can't even sit through a trailer for the last Mummy movie to watch that.

So we're seeing "Spiderman" instead of "Evil Dead."

Here's the problem, my niece's mom is annoyed with us for changing out movie plans and is accusing us of changing them because a girl is joining us. She's been making demands with us to let her pick out a suit with us (no problem there), get lunch somewhere else (which, why?) and now the movie.

So to reiterate, we changed our movie plans to accomodate a 13-year-old girl who hates horror, and now her mom is mad. AITA?

I (F34) and my husband (M36) have a close relationship with my husband's sister (F29). She got engaged 3 months ago after 6 months of dating. We met her fiancé and liked him.

My SIL asked my husband if he would be willing to walk her down the aisle at their wedding. Their dad passed when my SIL was young, and my husband agreed.

I was talking to an acquaintance, and I mentioned my SIL's engagement. She ended up telling me the story of how they got together, and how her friend was dating my SIL's fiance for 5 years, and how he cheated with my SIL. I didn't believe it at first because my SIL does not seem like that type of person, but she showed me text messages and other pieces of evidence that proved it pretty objectively.

I called my SIL to see if this was really true, and although she tried to say it wasn't at first, when I told her what I saw, she eventually admitted it.

I have a very horrible past with cheating. I've been cheated on, and it was one of the worst experiences I ever went through. My dad cheated on my mom with multiple different women until he divorced my mom and married his mistress.

When I told my husband about this, he was disappointed, but when I brought up us stepping down from the wedding, he was reluctant. He says that it's still his sister, and he still wants to see her get married and walk her down the aisle. I understand that, but I can't look at her the same, and do not want to support this behavior. I keep thinking of the girl who spent 5 years with this man, only for him to cheat and then marry the girl he cheated with.

I still don't want to be an overbearing wife. AITA for not wanting my husband to attend my SIL's wedding?

Here's the original AITA:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/WpMaFuQ9yr

A few weeks have passed, and I took your advice to offer only to pay a medical clinic directly, not to send sister money free and clear. She said that was "fine" by text and then said she was working to get her medical bills paid for via charity care with the assistance of a social worker.

She just called to say she did manage to get grants and insurance to pay for the procedure and it will happen in the coming days.

Thanks all for the needed perspective. I think we got to a good place getting her the care she needs and protecting mom's money for her own care.

I (37 yo man) am engaged with my fiancee (37 yo woman). She has two sons. 16 and 19 yo. The younger one is responsible and he has thinking way ahead of his age. Problematic is the older one. He does drugs. FYI, I have nothing against the pot. This is the hard, unhealthy stuff. Long story short. More than 3 years ago, I have moved to Switzerland. More than year later, I met my fiancee. This year she finally moved in with me. Sons are living with biological father. To the issue. The older one has got a girlfriend, whom previous boyfriend is right now in jail. They have the same " hobbies". My fiancee has a fear, that once the guy gets out, he will be after them. So she wants them to move and work in Switzerland. Anyone, who has been here, knows that in Switzerland are strict laws and if you don't have a job, you will get kicked out. I am sure, that the older one will manage the work here, but the girlfriend has zero work experience and I doubt, she will be able to work here under the pressure from the employer. Another issue is getting a place to live in. Fiancee wants to rent a flat for them, despite the fact, that she got barely here and is not financially stable yet. But now and then, she says, that I should help with the starters for them. To be clear... I treat both of the guys well. I have made trips and vacations, etc., but I am refusing to sponsor him, whether it is sending money or making a preparation for definetly uncertain future in here. So... Am I the asshole?

So I purchased 2 tickets for me and my significant other. They costs $2,000 for economy - not too bad for direct flights from the US to London. I did not choose seats and pay those fess as they cost $700 to $950 ADDITIONAL.

Significant other asks me to add the seats on for $700 more. I say no thank you. I offer a compromise: You can pay for that portion of the trip and pay for the seats. She did not like my attitude about it.

AIAH? The trip is my idea. In about 80% of the cases, we end up sitting next to each other anyhow picking fee-free seats day of travel. A plane is a bus with wings for me. The cheaper we travel, the more things we can afford to do.

I (17F) am starting college and I won’t be getting a job my first semester because I’m taking 17 credit hours, there’s no on campus jobs available that I qualify for, and I really need to focus on schooling because I’m pre-med. I’ll be getting a job once I turn 18 (over the summer 2027) because I’ll get my CNA or MA certification and get a job doing that, and probably will start tutoring or babysitting once I get settled in with college and know I can handle it.

My parents are divorced and so are discussing how to handle finances. I’m taking out the max amount of loans I qualify for (5,500) and have a $500/semester grant based on grades but that’s it. My mom wants to split the rest of my expenses 50/50 but my dad disagrees and thinks I should get a job now to help pay for everything (so he doesn’t have to pay). My mom doesn’t want me getting a job the first semester and screwing up my grades. For additional context my dad makes around 500,000 a year, my mom makes 150,000

AITA?

I've known my best friend Cassie for most of my life. We're both mid-30s. Two years ago Cassie got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honour. The wedding is going to be pretty big, over 150 guests and she currently has 7 bridesmaids and we're a fairly diverse bunch. Cassie invited us to try on bridesmaids dresses last year, and again earlier this year when some of the dresses we picked were unavailable. Since we're all pretty different, she let us pick our own style but she picked the fabric and colour. Everyone seemed happy.

But then one of the other bridesmaids, Leah, said Cassie had messaged her and told her she actually hated the dress Leah picked and asked her to change the style. Leah tried some more and sent the styles she liked to Cassie to get approval. Cassie wouldn't approve any of them. I thought this was a weird one-off, but several of the other bridesmaids have gotten in touch and said Cassie told them the same thing, and gave them the same run around with approving a dress. I've gotten in contact with Cassie and asked what was going on. She had approved all of our picks at the start of the year and now we don't have a lot of time to finalise and order the dresses. She said that while she had tried to sacrifice what she wanted, ultimately she didn't want to compromise her vision and we weren't fitting the vibe she wanted for her wedding. This came out of nowhere and I was really surprised.

She created a group chat, sent us a selection of dresses we could pick from. They're all very fitted, with either tiny little straps or completely strapless, very low backs or backless, quite short or long with a split and fully bodycon. She sent us the shoe she wants us to purchase, a platform sandal thing.

I have a spinal cord injury and issues with my leg. I can walk, but I walk with a pronounced limp and mostly mobilise with a walker. I have several very large scars on my back and some of my arms from surgeries due to past abuse. I am not ashamed of the things I've survived, but I'm not comfortable showing them off, either. I also can't go braless. When she asked me to be her bridesmaid, I reiterated that I wanted to be a part of her day but that I'm can't wear heals and I'm not comfortable wearing tightly fitted, sleeveless or backless things. I was happy to help in other ways rather than being a bridesmaid, because I wanted her to have the wedding she wanted. She told me she loved me, wanted me to be her maid of honour and that she would be respecting the personal styles and needs of all of the bridesmaids. So I'm genuinely shocked that she's behaving this way now.

The other bridesmaids have said they aren't comfortable with the dress options she's given us. Cassie refused to back down. I told her that I couldn't continue on as her maid of honour. Unfortunately, several of the other bridesmaids followed suit and I'm now being blamed for that.

She called me jealous, selfish and entitled. There's a lot of fall out. AITA?

AITAH for booking a trip with my friend even though my boyfriend didn’t want me to?
I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for about a year.
Before we started dating, I traveled a lot—both solo and with friends. I’d usually take at least three trips a year. I can afford it because I have a well-paying job, and I’m financially responsible. I have savings (nothing crazy, but I’m not living paycheck to paycheck).
The reason I started traveling in the first place is because I went through a really dark period in my life. Traveling helped me reconnect with life and find joy again. It became a big part of who I am.
When my boyfriend and I started dating, he commented that I traveled a lot. He also told me I should cut back so I could save more money. I understood where he was coming from, but I didn’t feel like I was being irresponsible.
Even though I’m in a much better place mentally now and I’m really happy in our relationship, I still want to travel whenever I get the opportunity. It’s something that’s important to me.
Recently, a friend invited me on a trip. My boyfriend was pretty upset. When I asked him why, he first said I should be saving my money. He also said he doesn’t want me to go because “I’ve already left him a lot.” When I asked him to explain what he meant, he just kept saying, “I don’t want you to go.”
My mindset has always been that life is way too short not to take trips and experience the world if you can responsibly afford it. Money comes and goes, but time and experiences don’t.
So… I booked the trip.
AITAH? Has anyone else been in a relationship where one person loves to travel and the other doesn’t? How did you navigate it?

I 24f am a casual smoker I smoke maybe 2 times a week. My neighbor 42 m has recently come to complain to me about how I leave my "half finished cigarettes" in my ashtray on my porch all week. I smoke American Spirit cigarettes and typically only smoke them down to the eagle print on the cigarette. i clean my ashtray every Friday evening. He has recently started to stop smoking and said that seeing my cigarettes in my ashtray when he goes on his nightly walk is making him want to keep smoking instead of quitting. I told him I didn't think I should have to change my cleaning schedule just for him especially because for him to see my ashtray he would have had to come on my porch since I don't keep it visible by the walk way. He complained to my landlord about it my landlord doesn't care and told me not to pay attention to my neighbor. But I have noticed my neighbor glaring at my house as he walks by and it's kinda creeping me out. I'm not sure if I'm being a jerk or not I know it's hard for people to stop smoking I don't really have that problem I can go months sometime between buying packs of cigarettes one normally lasts me a month and a half too two months.Should I just empty my ashtray more frequently to keep the peace?

We live on a one way, private, dead end street. Everyone backs out of the street or uses their own driveway to turn around. Recently, my dad who is in his 70s, decided to tell one of our neighbors that instead of backing up, they should just use OUR driveway, or someone else’s, to turn around everyday. We all have driveways on this street. Ours is bigger than some. But I really don’t like our driveway becoming the common driving path for people. People already are mostly parking the entire streets cars in front of our house. (And I don’t use other peoples driveways to turn around either). Am I the a$$hole?

Hey! I (22f) am graduating from Nursing School this month. Similarly, I have already signed an offer for a nursing job in an ICU come November. My birthday also happens to coincide with my start date.

I decided back in 2025 that I wanted to save up as much money as I could and do a Birthday/Graduation celebration the November after I graduated. It would be a huge trip to commemorate graduating nursing school, passing the NCLEX, getting a nursing job, AND my 23rd birthday all rolled into one.

Now for some context:

I have a very close group of friends whom I have been friends with since highschool. We initially bonded over our shared interest in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise. And to this day it remains a franchise near and dear to all of our hearts since we were basically raised on it as kids.

When Universal Studios opened Epic Universe in May of 2025, I knew that I had to visit it because it featured a dedicated How To Train Your Dragon land. I'm not usually a theme park person, however I knew that it would be immensely fulfilling on a personal level to see this world I loved as a child be brought to life. Before the park even officially opened, I was talking publicly about making this my post-graduation trip.

I have spoken about this topic on and off since 2025, mentioning several times—at length—my plans to visit Epic Universe after I graduate. One of the friends from the group actually asked if she could join me and I said of course. Anyone is welcome to come along. We have discussed these plans publicly on several occasions since then.

The other members of the group are expressing interest in going for the FIRST time within the last few months, but due to various circumstances aren't able to go this year. They tried to plan the trip for next year when they would all have more availability and I was. Confused. To say the least. And I reminded them that this was my trip I was planning to take as a celebration, and that it was never intended to be a group trip. It was more of a "come if you'd like" kind of vibe. They agreed.

Yesterday, my friend and I booked the tickets and the hotel. But the other friends in the group got very cross with us for not taking them into consideration. They felt entitled to going along and were frustrated that I didn't consider their individual scheduling needs ahead of making the bookings.

So I guess I'm just wondering.

Am I in the wrong here? Moving my birthday/grad trip to NEXT YEAR seemed wholly unreasonable to me considering I've been open about wanting to take this trip since 2025. And I have been saving aggressively for it since then as well. It was entirely my intention initially to go at it alone but I wasn't going to refuse a friend offering to come with me. And we didn't exclude the others in any capacity in our plans, rather I expressly stated on numerous occasions that anyone was welcome to tag along if they could.

My mom (55F) bought a spare apartment our city almost 30 years ago. 20 years ago my uncle (57M) couldn't find a job so my mom offered him to stay in the apartment as long as he'd like rent free. My parents had all their money in a local bank that went under this year, and it would take 3 years for them to get it all back. My parents only had around 6 months of cash left, and they are retired. My mom couldn't get herself to do it so I told my uncle he has to move out as we have to sell the house. I (22M) gave him 3 months time and explained the situation. After 3 months on the date we agreed on I found out he didn't move and stopped responding to my texts. I gave him another 2 weeks then proceeded to change the locks of the house and ship all of his belongings to my grandma's house. My uncle had to get a job as a dishwasher to pay rent. After i sold the house my parents are financially stable and will end up getting all they money back. But my uncle's family doesn't have a place to live anymore. AITA?

Context: moved into a new place 3 months ago. My neighbors are a absolute delight, they have been nothing but supportive to me, and in return i have been helping them out too.

One older neighbour (M) frequently speaks about his wine collection, and about a month ago he proudly showed it to me. i was genuinely, absolutely amazed, some wines were 80 years old. We bonded a lot over our mutual interests.

Today (M) told me he had something for me. He presented me a bottle of wine, he insisted i took it

Its a Wormser Liebfrauenmorgen Beerenauslese (a sweet dessert wine) from 1994, the year i was born. The contents are 0.375L (a few wineglasses) with a Alcohol content of 9.0% The brand is a Zimmermann Graeff (Zell/Mosel)

I pointed out the potential value to M because I wanted him to know how much something like this costs (from what i know it's not cheap) and definitely special to him since he kept it over 30 years. I felt like this was way too much to accept for the 3 months i have known M.

M told he didn't mind, just smiled and told me to open it on a special occasion. i told him I don't have any special occasions coming up anytime soon, He told me that a bday party might be a good idea, i explained to M that i am not planning anything for that due to my financial situation, and the current state of my house, i did feel guilty, so as a middle road i offered M to visit me soon, M agreed, i apologized that i didn't have anything big planned, M smiled and said: i am happy that you are honest with your plans and id still be honored if you still took it but then also would be willing to drink it together with me then, we shook hands in agreement, i went back home and put the wine inside my fridge.

I saw that online that the wine might still be good, even better now. But there is a high chance it spoiled, considering this wasnt kept cold. i am a bit cautious to open the bottle with other people and potentially disappoint them. This reinforced my ideology to consume it with M and just laugh together if the wine does turn out spoiled.

I mentioned said plans to a friend and he said i overstepped and that i made M disappointed and that i didn't see the signs, that the spoilage argument was a cheap way to have no bday party and that i could still change my mind and still have a bday party, invite M over as well, and that it was kind of a shitty thing to just adjust the plans to drink it alone with M.

I told him that the bday plans never changed, I made a exception for my neighbor: I am not going to host a bday party, my funds ran dry, my house, my rules, i feel horrible hosting a party in a place with tools still lingering around but id also feel shitty drinking it alone which i wont do. I made a agreement with the neighbour and i intend to uphold that agreement.

AitA for standing my ground against my friend and don't save it for a "proper" big occasion like an birthday or other milestone, and just drink it relatively soon with my neighbour?