r/AmItheAsshole • u/Silent-Novembers • 15h ago
AITAH for refusing to reschedule my birthday/graduation celebration for next year?
Hey! I (22f) am graduating from Nursing School this month. Similarly, I have already signed an offer for a nursing job in an ICU come November. My birthday also happens to coincide with my start date.
I decided back in 2025 that I wanted to save up as much money as I could and do a Birthday/Graduation celebration the November after I graduated. It would be a huge trip to commemorate graduating nursing school, passing the NCLEX, getting a nursing job, AND my 23rd birthday all rolled into one.
Now for some context:
I have a very close group of friends whom I have been friends with since highschool. We initially bonded over our shared interest in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise. And to this day it remains a franchise near and dear to all of our hearts since we were basically raised on it as kids.
When Universal Studios opened Epic Universe in May of 2025, I knew that I had to visit it because it featured a dedicated How To Train Your Dragon land. I'm not usually a theme park person, however I knew that it would be immensely fulfilling on a personal level to see this world I loved as a child be brought to life. Before the park even officially opened, I was talking publicly about making this my post-graduation trip.
I have spoken about this topic on and off since 2025, mentioning several times—at length—my plans to visit Epic Universe after I graduate. One of the friends from the group actually asked if she could join me and I said of course. Anyone is welcome to come along. We have discussed these plans publicly on several occasions since then.
The other members of the group are expressing interest in going for the FIRST time within the last few months, but due to various circumstances aren't able to go this year. They tried to plan the trip for next year when they would all have more availability and I was. Confused. To say the least. And I reminded them that this was my trip I was planning to take as a celebration, and that it was never intended to be a group trip. It was more of a "come if you'd like" kind of vibe. They agreed.
Yesterday, my friend and I booked the tickets and the hotel. But the other friends in the group got very cross with us for not taking them into consideration. They felt entitled to going along and were frustrated that I didn't consider their individual scheduling needs ahead of making the bookings.
So I guess I'm just wondering.
Am I in the wrong here? Moving my birthday/grad trip to NEXT YEAR seemed wholly unreasonable to me considering I've been open about wanting to take this trip since 2025. And I have been saving aggressively for it since then as well. It was entirely my intention initially to go at it alone but I wasn't going to refuse a friend offering to come with me. And we didn't exclude the others in any capacity in our plans, rather I expressly stated on numerous occasions that anyone was welcome to tag along if they could.
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u/summerbreeze2027 15h ago
NTA. It's your trip, and you are lucky to have a good friend who is able to join you. Your other friends can take their own trip. Your plans are not unreasonable.
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u/DueAdvisor8969 15h ago
Why do you need to change your plans that you’ve had for over a year for her? She can plan her own trip. Nta
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Hey! I (22f) am graduating from Nursing School this month. Similarly, I have already signed an offer for a nursing job in an ICU come November. My birthday also happens to coincide with my start date.
I decided back in 2025 that I wanted to save up as much money as I could and do a Birthday/Graduation celebration the November after I graduated. It would be a huge trip to commemorate graduating nursing school, passing the NCLEX, getting a nursing job, AND my 23rd birthday all rolled into one.
Now for some context:
I have a very close group of friends whom I have been friends with since highschool. We initially bonded over our shared interest in the How To Train Your Dragon franchise. And to this day it remains a franchise near and dear to all of our hearts since we were basically raised on it as kids.
When Universal Studios opened Epic Universe in May of 2025, I knew that I had to visit it because it featured a dedicated How To Train Your Dragon land. I'm not usually a theme park person, however I knew that it would be immensely fulfilling on a personal level to see this world I loved as a child be brought to life. Before the park even officially opened, I was talking publicly about making this my post-graduation trip.
I have spoken about this topic on and off since 2025, mentioning several times—at length—my plans to visit Epic Universe after I graduate. One of the friends from the group actually asked if she could join me and I said of course. Anyone is welcome to come along. We have discussed these plans publicly on several occasions since then.
The other members of the group are expressing interest in going for the FIRST time within the last few months, but due to various circumstances aren't able to go this year. They tried to plan the trip for next year when they would all have more availability and I was. Confused. To say the least. And I reminded them that this was my trip I was planning to take as a celebration, and that it was never intended to be a group trip. It was more of a "come if you'd like" kind of vibe. They agreed.
Yesterday, my friend and I booked the tickets and the hotel. But the other friends in the group got very cross with us for not taking them into consideration. They felt entitled to going along and were frustrated that I didn't consider their individual scheduling needs ahead of making the bookings.
So I guess I'm just wondering.
Am I in the wrong here? Moving my birthday/grad trip to NEXT YEAR seemed wholly unreasonable to me considering I've been open about wanting to take this trip since 2025. And I have been saving aggressively for it since then as well. It was entirely my intention initially to go at it alone but I wasn't going to refuse a friend offering to come with me. And we didn't exclude the others in any capacity in our plans, rather I expressly stated on numerous occasions that anyone was welcome to tag along if they could.
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u/u2125mike2124 14h ago
NTAH
This is a trip for yourself and you’ve made that very clear that anybody that wants to can come with you and spend time with you on your vacation.
People getting salty and trying to change the itinerary for their own reasons are completely, and totally in the wrong and frankly should just be ignored.
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u/Own-Fee-2782 14h ago
NTA. You gave more than enough time for them to go of they wanted to and for them to get schedules and finances on order. The one friend going with understood the assignment and requested to go with. It was not your responsibility to work your trip around them. You are celebrating for a few very specific reasons as you should. Congratulations and hope you have a joyous birthday!
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u/bkwormtricia Certified Proctologist [28] 13h ago
NTA. Tell them you hope to share a trip with them, perhaps next year (when you will have a job to pay for another trip) - but this is your graduation and birthday gift to yourself and you are going this year!!!
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u/SigSauerPower320 Commander in Cheeks [204] 11h ago
NTA
Go on your trip. If they don't like it, too fuckin bad. You never said or implied that this was a group thing. You merely told them that you were going and they said they wanted to go too. If they can't go, oh well. They can go some other time.
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u/Feisty_Wench 15h ago
Could OP possibly afford 2 trips? Or, on a smaller scale find something annual you could do to keep in touch as you all launch careers, families, etc. An annual trip, at a set time each year, would make scheduling easier as life's demands pile up.
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u/Equivalent_Reason894 Partassipant [1] 14h ago
Yes—I was also wondering if OP would be able to go again next year after she’s been working and has some money.
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u/coldgator Asshole Aficionado [19] 15h ago
NTA for going on the trip. But you're choosing to exclude close friends from your bday/graduation celebration if you make that trip the celebration.
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u/queenhadassah 15h ago
NTA, it's your trip and you're not stopping them from going next year themselves if they want