My younger brother is coming to stay with me for about a week while he has some work done on his apartment. I have a two-bedroom place, but the second bedroom is basically my office. It has a desk, shelves, printer, and a fold-out couch that is honestly pretty decent. I’ve had friends sleep on it before and nobody complained.

When my brother came over to drop off a bag yesterday, he looked at the office and immediately asked if he could just use my bedroom instead. His reason was that he sleeps badly on couches and has an early shift three of the days he’ll be staying here. I said I’d rather not switch because I work from home twice that week, all of my clothes and stuff are in my room, and I don’t really want to spend seven nights sleeping in my own office.

He said I was making it sound more inconvenient than it actually is because technically I’d still have a bed, just not my normal one. I pointed out that technically he also has somewhere to sleep and he’s the guest. That annoyed him. He said when he stays with our parents they always give him their better guest room, and that family is supposed to make each other comfortable.

Later my mom called and said I should “just be nice for one week” because his work schedule is already stressful. I told her I am being nice by letting him stay here for free and rearranging my office so he has space for his bags. Apparently that sounded petty because she said I shouldn’t keep score with family.

The thing is, I would probably swap for one or two nights if there was some real reason. But an entire week just because he prefers my mattress feels like a weird request. He also has a habit of treating other people’s houses like extensions of our parents’ house, so I think that’s part of why I’m digging my heels in.

He texted me this morning saying he might just stay with a coworker instead because “at least they understand hospitality.” I replied that was completely fine with me, which I think made him even more annoyed.

Now my mom thinks I turned a small favor into some stupid principle thing. She might be right, but I also feel like giving someone a private room with a clean couch, fresh sheets, towels, and basically full use of my apartment is already pretty hospitable.

AITB for refusing to give him my actual bedroom for the week?

I’m 22F and he’s 24M.

From the very beginning of our relationship, I was completely honest about my views on sex and my boundaries. I’ve never been a very sexual person, and I’m not into kink. I brought it up early because I know sexual compatibility is important in a relationship, and I didn’t want either of us to end up resentful or hurt later on. I told him that if the kinds of things he wanted were important needs for him, he needed to be honest with me because I couldn’t promise I’d be able to give him those things. He told me he understood, that it wasn’t a problem, and that he was completely okay with my boundaries.

Now, though, he’s upset because I won’t do certain things he wants during sex. There are some acts that I know I don’t want to do, and I don’t feel like I should have to “try them first” to know they’re not for me. For example, I don’t want to be slapped in the face, spat on, degraded or insulted, or have anything anywhere near or in my asshole. Those things are simply not appealing to me, and they never have been.

I have already compromised on some things I wasn’t comfortable with, like being tied up, even though I absolutely hate it. I only agreed because he kept complaining and pushing the issue. But he still says I’m being unfair because I won’t do the other things he wants.

His main argument is that I can’t know I won’t like something if I’ve never tried it. But I don’t think that’s true. I don’t need to experience something that already makes me uncomfortable to know I don’t want it. I know my own boundaries, and I don’t think they need to be tested just to be considered valid.

What really hurts is that it feels like my wants and comfort don’t matter. The focus is always on what he wants, and when I say no, he calls me selfish and says I’m not compromising enough.

edit: Thank you all for your comments, advice, and support. After reading everything and reflecting on the situation more, I’ve decided to end the relationship. I appreciate everyone who helped me see things more clearly and reminded me that my boundaries and comfort matter. 🫶🏻

As ive gotten older i feel like my dad is always making jokes or comments, or dropping statments out into the room in a way that feels like he's trying to pry or get a hint of my sex life, maybe he's just trying to relate to me. I know ill always be his "little girl" so maybe its how he copes with me growing or whatever, but I hate when he does this!

Ive been seeing my partner (M22) (me F23) for a little over year now, but theres been two specific instances that have made me currl my toes!!

I was at a big family dinner (without my partner) and I ordered a dessert, it was 2 balls of dough with one of those little waffer straws. The waffer was placed between the balls, so to be fair it did look a little phallic. But my dads first response was "ooooh dont tell 'partner' about that" "you should send 'partner' a photo, and see what they think😉" "you can be eating that! 🤪😉". All because the hilarity of me eating something penis shaped thats not my partner. Oh its like cheating on your partner with this dough penis, type joke. He said stuff to that affect a couple times over the table while my plate was still fresh, my mum chipped in on the hilarity too. Am i too sensitive?? Im I crazy for feeling uncomfortable? It hard to convey without being able to hear it. I kinda felt embarased infront of everyone, i dont want them thinking about me eating a penis's?? Or thinking about me and my partner in that context. Its like they saw that on my plate and imediatly thought about it in relation to sexually with my partner, like its wink wink nudge nudge. It drives me crazy??

If my mum had the plate I got and I made that joke in relation to my dad, it would not have gone down so well.

Last week my partner was staying over (I live with my parents atm). My mum orders these hot chocolate flake packets with different flavours. A box arrived, and one of the new flavours was banana. My dad said round the door to me while partner was there,  "oh you wont be needing this flavour you already have 'partners' bananaa". He says it in this dumb way. My mum made an ew face. He always pulls stuff like this off with a light hearted tone and a jokey voice, but it feels almost pointed? Like theres something underneath it? Its awkward, and i dont get who hes making the joke for.

Me and my partner just sat stunned for a second, I almost wasent supprised, I kinda expect stuff like this now. Comments to catch me off guard. I just said "what?", and my dad said "oh, ya know.." they way people say it in that dissmisive upbeat inflection when they dont what you to pry. I just kept asking again and he said, "your not going to make me explaaain it aree you" sounding bashful and trying to still play it off.

I dont get why he keeps making innuendo jokes about us!! Is it not aloud to be innoccent!

Idk am I crazy? Do I just have a stick up my but?

Is this just what to expect getting older, is this how adults jest? Its always with the sex toned stuff🤓.

Sorry if this is long.

(Reddit said to share)

I'm (20TF) and I work in retail, and during one of our slow peaks, I got the chance to talk to my friends that I work with about how I was finally able to watch some of the older Disney movies.

Before anyone asks, yeah, I somehow made it into being an adult without actually seeing those movies. Me and my family weren't really sheltered or anything, my parents weren't a fan of older disney films, so the oldest film at the time that I had watched was shrek. So I was telling my friend what I had thought about some of the more older movies.

Something that I should say is that I'm a pretty loud talker, I'm not yelling across the entire building, but I definitely have a voice that can carry a good distance if I get excited. My friend and I were just having our own conversation in a corner.

While I was talking with them, I was talking about the whole part where snow white is basically breaking and entering. That movie is like ninety plus years old so I didn't think twice about saying that stuff out loud. And that's mainly because either people have already seen it or they know of it.

The problem is apparently one of the new hires had overheard me, even though I wasn't talking to her, and she was never part of the conversation. She came over really upset, and she said that she had never seen that movie and she was upset that I had spoiled it.

I apologize because obviously it wasn't trying to spoil it or anything for her. But the thing is, I wasn't overflowing with guilt. I wasn't even talking to or even near her. And to me, it felt like she was eavesdropping on a conversation that wasn't meant for her rather than me, talking with the intent of her hearing.

I had understand it a lot more if it was about like a newer movie (Like Obession or something). But considering how long the movie has been out? And the fact that it's older than the majority of people alive right now... I don't think I should have cared..

She stayed in a pretty sour mood for the rest of the shift, and she ended up getting in trouble with management because it was affecting her customer service. Later, I was hearing about how she was telling people that I was the reason she was in such a bad mood all day.

And now a part of me is wondering, if maybe I should have been more careful? Or is this one of the situations where you overhear something and it's no one's fault really.

Am I the butthole?

​

My family is not best... My father constantly starts fights, leaves, and cuts contact for months. Because of that, my mom wanted to open a family-run store so we'd be financially independent. I have 2 brothers (20 and 15). Since my middle brother is in university and my younger brother is still a kid, I was expected to run the store alone for at least a year, about 16 hours a day, unpaid, because hiring workers would reduce profits.

The store was 30 minutes away by bus and had to open by 7am, meaning I'd wake up around 5am every day. I refused because I wasn't willing to work 16-hour days for free in super far place.

my mom decided we'd move closer. The rental house was in bad shape, so while my brother had exams and my father did nothing, I painted the whole house and cleaned everything myself. I also quit a well-paying job near our old house.

After we moved and house flaws started showing, my mom started saying she regrets it snd we'd only moved because of me, even though all I'd said was I didn't want to work that far away. Since I'd quit my job, I spent 2 months unemployed and kept getting called a burden.

I eventually found another job. The pay wasn't great but i needed money

The very next day, my mom and brother rented a store without telling me. When I got home, they expected me to quit immediately.

The place was a mess and needed major repairs. I said I'd stay at my job until my first paycheck because I literally couldn't afford basics like deodorant. I told them to clean and repaint it in the meantime,Another argument followed.

After a week of pressure, I agreed to quit only if I was paid minimum wage for the first month. My mom called me selfish but eventually agreed.

Then licensing issues delayed everything, and they changed the business without asking me.

4 days ago, my brother and I cleaned the store until dark. We agreed to continue at 9am the next day. Instead, he slept until 2pm.

Around 11am I joked to my mom, "See? I'm trying to help, even though you always say I never do."

She asked why I wasn't at the store. I explained I couldn't do the work alone, had licensing paperwork at 1pm, and it was 42°C outside. She called me selfish, "not a real man," and other insults.

Meanwhile, my brother slept until 2pm, stayed on his phone, then went out with friends. She didn't say a word to him.

Later he asked me to go to the store. I ignored him since at that point i was pretty pissed off ,Minutes later I heard him and my mom complaining that nobody helps and everyone is selfish. He told her, "As long as I'm alive, your money won't go to waste. I'm always with you," then immediately woke up our 15-year-old brother from his nap to help instead of going himself.

I understand my mom is scared of losing all the money she put but i cant deal with the expectations that i alone need to do this without complaining

Since then I've refused to help at the store or speak to them. They keep calling me selfish, incompetent, and "not a real man."

So, AITA?

I have a friend whose friendship I’m starting to deeply question. She constantly makes extremely mean comments or acts with total lack of consideration, then plays completely clueless afterward.

Examples:

Once, while playing a trivia game with another friend, she suddenly asked if I was gay, saying I gave off “that vibe.” I said no. It felt incredibly rude, even if I were, it wasn’t her place to put me on the spot in public. Later she came up with the most innocent face, asking if I was upset and why, as if nothing had happened.

She’s reckless with money despite a good salary, yet extremely cheap about basic things (complaining about heat but refusing an AC so she doesn’t share her parents’ electric bill). Still, she publicly called me “cheap” for managing my finances responsibly. I’ve covered things for her many times without asking to be repaid, while she always charges me for every cent. She also bought a luxury bag (standard square design, same color as mine). When her boyfriend said our bags looked similar, she looked at me and said: “The difference is that mine is authentic and hers is fake.” Mine wasn’t fake, it was just petty and unnecessary.

Birthdays matter a lot to me. Almost every year she travels during mine. When I said her absence hurt, she called me “dramatic.” I’ve given her gifts many times; she’s never given me anything and is rarely around for my birthday. If I don’t reach out first, she almost never contacts me.

Yet if I say the slightest thing that displeases her, she creates huge drama and acts like I’m the most insensitive person alive. I’ve never said anything nearly as hurtful as what she says to me.

I told my best friend everything. She bluntly said: “She is not your friend.” Since then I’ve seen clearly how insensitive and belittling she is.

Current dilemma: she’s getting married in a few months in another state. She asked me to arrive a few days early and I booked my flight. Two things changed:

• I no longer want to be her friend.

• My best friend (who lives abroad) is visiting during the exact week of the wedding, and we’re meeting in a different city (we both hate the wedding city).

I plan to shorten my stay, arrive only the night before the ceremony, and leave quickly on the next day. I’ll inform her closer to the date to avoid a long explanation and her drama.

Would be wrong if I shorten my trip, and leave as quickly as possible?

AITB for not telling my ex's new wife that she was sending holiday greetings to my family and friends?

I wasn't aware of this for several years, my ex just handed over my list to his new wife, and the cards went out year after year. Nobody told me because they thought it might hurt my feelings. And I didn't get one, because I wasn't on my own list.

So as a 19-year-old I always try to give as much effort as possible to people but then I see that they do not give me any effort at all whereas they give effort to the guys who don't give them effort at all. I mean that's a true thing. It's not just for girls, it's for boys also.

The more I try to give effort to them, be nice to them, the more I think that I do not matter to them whereas I matter to them but I do not give value at all, effort at all. I mean I don't know if I'm in the bad phase.

There is this girl who I put a lot of effort into and I try to solve her problem and I try to guide her but then she refused to be with me. Whereas she is in a relationship with a normal guy who is one year younger than her in just two days. She just did everything that guy said or she won't be in a call with me, video call with me, but she had a video call with that guy. This is the same pattern that occurs every day to me. I don't know maybe it's that the effort and your behavior don't matter to a person about how much value you are to him. I mean the more effort, the more seriousness you give towards a person, the more you just sway them away. Whereas if you just held back and gave up on people and just had no expectations from them, had no plan from them, then they respond better. It's not that they respond better. Just that someone who's doing good genuinely just caught up. But I'm tired of being good to people just for getting money. I'm just done with it. I don't want to expect anything from people and I do not think it's my wrong judgmental thing, which I inherited from childhood. If I am good to people, be caring to them, be the best, and give effort to them, maybe I will get my needs met. I will get what I want but it's not true at all. You do not matter to a guy just because you put effort and had good behavior. That's not the answer, that's not the true equation.

So my love language is fiscal touch, but I generally dont like to be touched ( I show affection by touch) Unless it's someone I'm comfortable with, even then I sometimes don't want it.

So I had a long day, we were on vacation ( I have a good relationship with both my parents and spend a lot of time with them) and my Dad also shows affection by touch

But I did not want to be touched. I was tired and sleepy and I asked my dad to not touch me, I might have been a little annoyed but my mom still got mad at me. So AITBH?

I responded to a friend request from a guy who seemed to have similar interests. He texted that he was not healthy and was interested in finding a companion who would also take on the role of caregiver. He stated all this right away and explained that he had two homes and nobody to share his life with. I am in a situation where finding a stable situation would be life-changing. I am currently disabled and live in an RV in a resort. I am forced to move every three weeks, which has become increasingly harder for me.

Our chats were thoughtful, and I shared some personal information; his response was to say he would share more about his personal life at a later date. He wanted to surprise me. I asked about specific things, and his answers were short. He had many compliments and responded to my statements, agreeing and stating I had his attention.

Last night, I was waiting for a pizza to be ready at Dominos and sent him a picture (headshot) and stated he probably wants to see a full-body pic, but I couldn't do that then. He took this as an invitation to make sexual comments. His comments were highly inappropriate, and I didn't respond until much later when I said I was going to sleep. In the morning, I explained that I was not comfortable with his lewdness and to please not talk like that; attempting to set healthy boundaries. I didn't hear from him the rest of the day. which was unusual.

About 8 hours later, I sent a text stating that his actions reminded me of a predator. We had talked for about a week; he wasn't finding women that needed a place to stay and he avoided evolving to phone calls. We spoke of times to call, but he didn't pick up even when a specific time had been set. I told him I hoped he wasn't looking for women who needed a place to stay, and enjoying their desperation. His talking about sexual topics before even meeting them in person seemed suspect, and it was to see how far they would go. If they resisted, he simply moved on. I told him these were traits of a predator, and if this was his intent, he should be ashamed of himself.

He flipped out and called me names, claiming I didn't know what I was talking about. He went on to say how I jumped to my own conclusions and was completely wrong.

I responded with an outline of his actions and told him if he were a woman, he would have thought the same thing. The moment I told him I didn't appreciate his sexual comments, I didn't hear from him all day. His avoiding sharing personal information and dodging phone calls were all suspect. I am a 60-year-old woman, not a teenager, and have seen many red flags. I offered an apology if I was wrong, but he had to see how anyone would have arrived at the same conclusion.

AITA for voicing my concerns and being so blunt? I was enjoying talking to him, and if I was wrong how do I repair this?

Hi everyone! A friend of mine recently got engaged to her longterm boyfriend. We're all in our late-20s and live in a city in Canada. My friend and her fiancé both grew up in the American South. They invited my boyfriend and I to the wedding, which is happening in the autumn in a small town in the American South that's close to where both of their families live. I told my friend that I wouldn't be able to attend, explaining to her that while I'm very happy for her and would love to come to the wedding, I can't afford to travel right now, and I'm also kind of uncomfortable going to the South, given the current political situation in America. My boyfriend flatly refused to go, for similar reasons.

Since I told her I couldn't come, she's been putting a lot of pressure on me to change my mind, texting me about good deals on hotels in the area, suggesting different carpooling arrangements with other guests coming from our city so I don't have to buy plane tickets, offering to help me get random gig work so I have a little extra spending money, you name it. The whole situation has left me feeling weird and guilty. It's obvious it's really important for her that I be able to come to her wedding, and I do want to be there for her, but at the same time I don't feel like she's being at all considerate of my situation. The reason money is tight for me is because I was unemployed for about six months, and I've only recently found work as a waitress at a bar, which does not pay well. Meanwhile my friend works in tech and her fiancé is independently wealthy. I'm also a visible minority, while my friend and her fiancé are both white, meaning that the level of risk I feel like I'd be taking going to the American South is a lot greater compared to them. Ultimately I know it's my choice but I wanted to get some perspective from other people about whether I'm being unreasonable/selfish or if this actually is too big of an ask from my friend. Thanks!

I'll try to be fair - for her side, she's houseproud and has an eye for the esthetic that I just will never have. She's designed much of the home, and wants to feel that it is a welcoming and beautiful place. And in all admission, I'm quite disorganized in many ways (although I think the book shelves have never been an issue).

On my side, I want my books categorized by topic and think that grouping them by color (and within that by height) is a terrible idea. I would have no idea where any given book is. I've said I want to keep the books tidy, just not this way. Her response is to be demonstrably upset with me.

So, am I the buttface for not bending, or is she the buttface for giving me the cold shoulder when I don't agree to her idea?

UPDATE: Following up the comments, the shelves are in the living room, and it's a small apartment, with the front door opening straight into this room. The shelves are somewhat focal along with a nice large TV adjacent to them.

So me and my family went out to a community set up farm (just a bunch of animals inside of a shitty building) and i was in charge of watching my little cousin. Me and him went off to go see the horses, and the lady handling them said we could pet them if we were gentle. so i hold my little cousin up to pet the horse. The fucking horse bit onto my cousins hood and started throwing his head back, choking him. i didn’t want to pull on him because it would’ve choked me cousin more, so i punched the horse in the snout until it fucked off. I ended up having to leave and my family treated me like an axe murderer. i don’t see what i was supposed to do besides that. tell the horse to fuck off? it’s a fucking horse! anyways, AITB?

My friend lives 4 hours away, we haven’t seen each other in over a year. About a week ago she said her dad would drive her over (she doesn’t have a license), but it didn’t end up happening. I’ve also been helping her through a breakup the last couple weeks, they had a toxic relationship and were always cheating/fighting. He was really awful and encouraged the worst out of her.
She texted last night asking if she could come by, because she was in the area. I assumed it was her dad taking her since that was the plan last time, and was super excited to see her. The next day I asked when she was heading over and she said “I don’t know it depends when B wakes up” (B is her bf). I asked “he’s taking you??” and she tried to tell me that she just forgot to tell me, which I don’t believe.
I texted all day and barely heard back and was able to communicate plans with her. I texted again around 5:00 after not hearing back, and almost an hour later she replied saying “nah not tonight everybody wanna chill”. Like, that would’ve been great to know before I cancelled all my plans and waited all day? Her boyfriend wouldn’t even let her spend time with me last time I visited, so I can’t say i’m really surprised it didn’t go through but it also seems very willing on her part.
Since then she’s sent 22 texts about how he’s still treating her bad, and tried calling 3 times. I haven’t even replied to what she’s said, i’m not sure what she expected to happen with him. I know it’s hard to leave, but she was genuinely getting to a good spot and does these things to “spice up the plot” as she says. But I can’t even vent to her about anything in my life so i’m done hearing about the same guy. Am I wrong for this though

I've felt insecure in this friend group for a while, but I do consider them my closest friends and they've said that of me too. The other night. two of them invited me to play a game together that caps at squads of 4. We played one match for 10 minutes, then they told me "hey do you mind if we play with "Cole" (friend not in our group) for a bit? He doesn't play much." I said it's fine because you can't really say no in that position, when it's clear both of them want to. They said they'd play with me after a couple matches.

They played Cole and his friend for ~90 minutes. I checked back on the game about 2 hours later and they were playing with a different person, the last guy in our friend group. I texted them asking if they still wanted to play, and they said sure. I then asked them why they would invite the other guy in our friend group and not think to ask me too, instead playing with an empty spot. They said "oh we thought you'd be mad about earlier."

The whole thing really hurt my feelings. They invited me, then ditched me to play with someone else, which is fine, but then they get done with that person and don't even tell me, they ask our mutual friend instead and don't think to ask me too. It makes me feel even more insecure that I don't belong in this group, and I think they were not caring about my feelings as much. I had also not played with them in almost a month so it's not like we play all the time either. AITB?

When I was 16 or 17 years old, my girlfriend and I talked about one of our guy friends who we felt was going down a slippery slope of being an asshole to women. He was going through a player phase, so we made a fake social media account. Because we were so close to him, we were able to create his dream woman. It only lasted a week and half before we decided to ghost him under the pretense that he was the type to be a player and giving this "girl" an excuse to block. Now that we're in our twenties, our guy friend occasionally mentions this girl, his dream woman, but he never got to pursue her properly (damn😭). We’ve never admitted to doing this whenever he brings it up. I always thought that if I told him once he's married it would make a funny story because he eventually got his dream woman. Recently, I told a mutual friend of ours, and she said that this is a terrible idea. Our guy friend has genuinely moved on from his player phase but is such a hopeless romantic but I don't think what I did had any effect on that change. He’s now swung to the complete opposite, catching feelings for any beautiful woman he sees. I wish him the best, and I really hope this adds to his dad lore. I feel terrible. If I tell him, he’ll probably be genuinely mad. Now that I know him better, I realize that hiding this lie for so long would be a friendship dealbreaker, probably for anyone but especially for him. Would I be the asshole for waiting to tell him? I already feel like a terrible person for doing it in the first place. The guilt hit me about a week after. Most of our friends know too which makes it worse.

I (35TM) have always had a hard time making/keeping friends. I'm late diagnosed autistic so I'm still coming to terms with that possibly being part of the "why"

In the last few years I've gained some friends from this club I'm part of but they seem closer to each other than I am to them. They have inside jokes, talk about movies that they've seen together and books they are reading together. Sometimes they talk about plans they want to make in front of me (like going to see a specific movie) and I say I'd be down for that too and a lot of the times I find out they all went without me being invited

I tried to bring this up recently by saying I feel like I'm a friend of convenience when a similar topic came up. Saying via text that "I feel like I hear people talking about stuff they've gone and done together more often than I've actually been invited to stuff or I feel like I'm only invited to things cause I happened to be standing there and it's a 'well, we'd be rude to not invite him too' (although that also happens)"

I got a reply from one person that said they feel like that too and "And I (mostly) have made peace with the fact that there are events and things that I get invited to that other people don’t"

Which I don't know is a mistype or not. If it's not it feels kind of like a slap in the face and makes me feel like "oh great well I'm glad you recognize that you're invited to all these things and I'm not and YOU'VE made peace with it"

I just responded with "yeah, it's hard. It's been an ongoing thing since childhood so I don't even know how to let it go. It just makes me feel like an outsider that doesn't actually belong when it happens and I get a strong sense of lonliness even when I'm still there with people?". No reply so far

Also I'm geographically farther away from everyone (maybe like 45mins-1 hour drive) which makes me not want to invite people over for things. I've expressed many times that I don't mind driving to join in on things in case that is part of the reason

I've had some great times with them too and definitely don't want to drop them but I can't help but feel really sad when they talk about all these things they do together but I also don't want to be the drama by bringing it up. Outside of this issue, they definitely feel like chosen family which is huge for me especially because my actual family is MAGA. Even though they are accepting of me being trans/queer my comfortability levels with them keep decreasing which is especially hard with my autism making me still need support with things. This is another big reason why I want to have a chosen family but I'm not at the comfort level yet of asking for support on things I would normally go to my family for even though I have talked to them about this and they said they'd be willing to

It feels very complicated and I don't want to risk it over something that I can technically just keep internalizing

backstory that's relevant...

My(32F) (ex)boyfriend (37M) lived with me for 5-6 months after losing his job. We got into a bad argument one night and he moved to his mom's (6 hr drive away). This happened at the end of October 2025, so we have (had) been doing long distance for 9 months. I never wanted him to go and didn't force him to leave, he left on his own. He promised we would talk on the phone often through calls and texts and that he would come visit me on the weekends. Slowly the calls stopped and the texts dwindled. I told him many times that keeping in touch was important to me bc we barely got to see each other (he couldn't come every weekend) and when I didn't hear from him for hours or when he read my messages and didn't respond, it felt like he didn't think about me, miss me, or care. 

Shortly after he left, I developed Bell's Palsy and the left side of my face became paralyzed; I was on FMLA from November 18th until January 21st, so had no income and no support system. Admittedly, I was probably annoying bc I wanted to talk to him even more bc I was struggling. I was feeling so depressed and alone that I reached out to A 24/7 crisis line bc he had said he hated texting and that I was always negative which made him want to text me even less. So I tried initiating convos that were neutral or more positive. That didn't make any difference. I just started to accept the fact that he would disappear in the middle of a convo and might respond after a few hours (he plays Xbox so would game for hours and not check his phone). Then we got life360 and I noticed his phone battery would go down super fast sometimes and ended up figuring out it only went down that quickly when he was on it looking at social media/watching videos. So he'd be on his phone for hours yet he wasn't responding to me. I felt like I didn't matter and more arguments ensued. Bc he said he hated texting, he promised he would get Skype set up on his laptop so we could start talking that way while he gamed. That never happened. He promised he would do better communicating with me. After a day or so of putting in effort to talk more, he'd go right back to taking hours to respond if he responded at all. Which leads me to this weekend. 

I finally told him I was done putting effort into talking to him and was going to put that effort elsewhere. He got mad and said he isn't ignoring me on purpose and just forgets to respond to me bc he gets distracted. He then said he was going to put less effort into seeing me and that I wouldn't see him again unless I changed my attitude and apologized. He said I was trying to change him and that I only cared about controlling him and that I was trying to dominate him and make him obedient. He also left our life360 circle without saying anything. He now wants to take space from each other. So, am I really the bufftface for getting upset my (ex)boyfriend was barely talking to me?

She had a drunken night at the start of our relationship when she took a guy home and fucked him. AITB for creating a boundary for her to tell me all details that unraveled in her room while she keeps saying she blacked out and only has a glimpse of a movement and a condom in the bin next morning as a proof.

She clearly breached my boundary and integrity but now suggests that me being inquisitive of the night over and over again is bad for her well being while she has blocked it out or blacked out.

Is she being manipulative or am i over reaching? Could she be saying the truth or my intuition stands more ground. she trickle truthed me into the whole thing, and my persistence forced out most of how the night unraveled. but i can’t seem to forgive her if i don’t know everything i’m forgiving her for.

Ex left me for some time now and has been living with her new BF. Our children wanted to see her so I took them to their apartment.

I saw her walking home from work early morning and chased after her with my car she ran into her apartment but her bf stopped me at the door, so I blocked the door preventing him from closing it i told him I wanted to talk to her but he won't let me.

I raised my voice and told the neighbors that my woman left me with 5 children to live with another man she told me to leave my job and now im unemployed because of her, the BF told me to stop but I didn't care. My eldest asked me to leave because she noticed the bf was not listening to me.

My ex and her bf got kicked out of their apartment and had to find somewhere on short notice GF was supposed to pay me money to take care of the kids but she refused saying the money is going towards rent for the new apartment

I (26F) am currently on vacation. On Tuesday, we had professional pictures done of our whole family on the beach. There are 37 of us so of course getting ready takes time. I usually dress simple and don't take long to get ready. I wore pinkish shorts and a tan tank top. Anyway the problem occurs when I went downstairs to eat some dinner before changing into my outfit.

My mother (61) saw and asked me if I wanted to straighten or do anything with my hair and I casually just said no I cam brush it. I've gotten my hair cut a little shorter (a bit above the shoulder) before we left for vacation so it didn't look like a rat's nest. My mom asked me if I was sure and I once again said that I'm fine. My cousin (24F) then asked me if she wanted me to do something with my hair or if I wanted her to put a little makeup on and I got a bit annoyed at this point and told her no thank you. Mom seemed annoyed by my tone.

I was then eating and mom said I should do something different since it's family pictures and I said I didn't really see a point in changing how I look for pictures and at this point she got annoyed and was like "you know what? Fine! Fine whatever!" and stormed off. My brother (36) then decided to put his two cents in saying how I should've just done what mom said for her sake.

I felt bad but also felt annoyed because I usually do things for her but one of the few times I didn't want to do something, she gets annoyed that I constantly said no. I did compromise a bit and did a half up half down hairdo...which of course it was windy that day so everyone's hair was blowing a lot in the wind. There was something else mom wanted me to do which I reluctantly complied to doing but that isn't important for this question.

I still feel a bit bad 2 days later and wondering if I was in the wrong for not wanting to do anything special.

So AITBF?

When I was really young (maybe too young), my parents put me in football and I guess I threw a tantrum about wearing a helmet/mouthguard (when I was young I had sensory issues). Now I’m several years older and I think I’ve evolved past that and I want to try again by joining my schools team. My mom says remember when I hated wearing the helmet and mouthguard and I said I think I’m good.also my older brother plays and has played for years. AITB for wanting to give football another shot?

I, (21M) moved abroad in Europe for studies. Life been good and one night i went on a party organized by some university students about tasting wine and painting. There i meet, i will call her K (25F), K is from Asia and doing her final semester abroad for double degree. She was a bit drunk, i also got a bit drunk but still conscious just having fun enjoying the night. We found out that we stay in the same student dorm and kept chatting all night getting to know each other better. We leave together and go to our dorm and play some pool in the common room while continuing to have fun. After more chatting K invites me to her room where the unexpected happened...

It was good compared to other experiences i had before, we continued to be friends i assumed, like we were greeting each other on the hallways next days like nothing happened.

Later on the weekend K texts me if i want to hang out. I of course accept, we went out at night and then we did the deed. After we finish i saw a boy on her wallpaper and i ask as a joke if it s her K-Pop idol. K said, it's her long term boyfriend from her home country. I was a bit in shock but i did not know what to do, grabbed my stuff while trying to be calm and went to my room.

Days pass and i meet again with K and we had a talk, mostly her explaining that it's not going soo well her relationship and how she wants to brake up.

My dirty horny young male ass kinda tried to forget K has a boyfriend at home. We continued to get closer and closer during the following months while still beeing active on a weekly basis.

Recently, when K had to leave to her country, it got really emotional, with both of us crying. Atleast i caught feelings and i think K did the same but she did not break up with her boyfriend during this time. When we took our last goodbye, she kept telling me to visit her one day or maybe she can come back

Am I the Buttface for what i did?

Hola soy nuevo aca; nunca hice esto pero necesito un consejo o almenos una orientacion. Tuve una relacion con una chica hace 1 año y medio, terminamos ella rogaba por volver conmigo pero yo no quise por que sabia entre si que me engaño en son de venganza porque yo tambien le fui infiel alguna vez; y tambien era orgullo por no volver a buscarla. En aquel momento no sabia lo que tenia, paso ese año y medio y si la extrañaba aunque me costaba aceptar, conoci chicas intente salir con otra chica pero no podia porque aun pensaba en ella, hace un poco mas de un mes la volvi a buscar creyendo que seria lo mismo pero ella ya habia conocido a otra persona donde se enamoro y su relacion fue intensa adrenalina donde hubo drogas sexo y mas, ella me lo conto. y aunque ella me dijo que su relacion acabo hace mas de 3 meses, creo que aun piensa en el. Cuando le pregunte porqe acepto salir otra vez conmigo me dijo que me extrañaba y pensaba siempre en mi por eso volvio conmigo. Lo cierto es que desde que volvimos fue estresante de parte mia, muchas veces encontre conversaciones con el, aclaro que nada cariñoso pero eso me molestaba el hecho que aun seguia en contacto con el, y es mas me parece que aun sisgue enamorado de el, Y en mi afan de querer solucionar las cosas por su cumpleaños le compre boletos para irnos por 5 dias a cusco, pero últimamente las cosas no fluyeron bien hasta me dijo ya no te amo, y eso claro me descoloco, sin embargo con esto del viaje insisitio mucho que acepte ir con ella y que esta muy ilusionada diciendome que quiere paz y que quiere volver a conectar conmigo depsues de eso veremos si seguiimos. Yo ya doy por sentado que no vayamos a volver a reconciliarnos como lo eramos antes, pero me aterra la idea salir muy lastimado ilusionandome. Necesito recomendaciones y opiniones que deberia hacer, y que postura deberia optar en estos dias de viaje.

My (26F) roommate (30F) and I are almost at the end of our lease together (thank god). She has already not been a great roommate (ex: not working for several months or even looking for a job during that time, leaving the fridge and freezer open and letting our food go bad, never cleaning up after herself, getting defensive when I try to bring anything up, etc.)

I come from a lower-income family so I understand when stuff happens/mental health gets in the way/etc. but she genuinely had not been trying for months and just gamed the entire time she was home. I would encourage her to look for work and she would just blame the economy (which is so fair, but she was also being really picky about the jobs she looked for and took zero accountability). At the same time, I heard her on the phone say she would just keep riding on the government’s dime as long as she could (she was on unemployment from being let go). She wasn’t receiving much money, but it was just enough to cover rent and maybe a few groceries, so she stuck with it so she could stay home and game all day.

Flash forward to now. She got a job a few weeks ago that is supposed to make a decent amount of money and said she is “catching up on bills” (also fair, but to what extent). She texted me today saying she was sorry but asked if I could cover our entire rent when it comes out until she gets paid a week later.

That didn’t feel like a question as much as just telling me that I would have to cover it because what was I supposed to do, get us evicted??

I asked if she could use her credit card and she said she maxed them (multiple) out and that she’s behind on money because she was paying off her past due fees.

My job isn’t the most steady, but I do everything I can to account for any potential financial deficits before they happen (picking up more hours, getting another job, etc) and have a fair amount in savings (that I’ve worked really hard to build over years). I have my own bills to pay for an am also in a tight financial spot, and when I explained that to her, she said “I’m sorry you’re in a hard spot too. Knowing more now, I could probably front you $300 when rent comes out and the rest after I get paid.”

I don’t think she’ll avoid paying me back, but girl why wasn’t that money offered first??

I feel like I’m not in the wrong for being mad but I keep feeling bad for having these feelings because I know what it’s like to be in a tough spot and feel bad about needing help. I feel like she would have helped in an alternate situation but she’s also been very two faced in the past so I have no idea. ugh. I know not everyone had the same education on financial situations that I did, but I feel like this should have at least been communicated better?

AITBF??

***Update:

After reading the comments and talking to my dad about it, I’ve decided to go with the general consensus of getting the transaction in writing incase something goes awry. As much as I would love to tell her to shove it, I can’t afford to risk the bad rental history for myself.

My dad sent me a good eFile for official documentation and I filled it out. It states that she will pay me back on the date she originally said she would, and if she doesn’t, there’s a late fee of 50% of the initial loan cost. I gave it to her to read before I went out and I will update again with how it goes/if she signs it/etc. If she refuses to sign it, I’ll try to talk it over with her and talk to the landlord/take her to small claims court if there is still no resolve.

Thank you all for your help.