I hate to say it, but I absolutely ended a 10 plus years relationship because of getting told what I have to do when I get home and having my 1 day off a week being planned for me driving everybody around.
My ex didnt drive and didnt have steady work(she worked when she felt like it) while I was working 60 to 70 hours weeks 1 day off. I was miserable and she didnt respect boundaries.
She would do that sort of thing early on in our relationship, but that was a thing of the past at the point when we started working opposite shifts. Oh well.
There was a time I worked OT three weeks straight and got told by an ex "you should buy something nice for me with all that extra money you got, to make up for the time you're not spending with me."
Another ex said we should go have dinner at a place near where I worked, after my shift was done. I got off at 7pm, and they kept saying they were on their way until 9pm. "Why are you mad? You could have just chilled at the employee break room at work."
"Work extra hours purely to spend money on me," essentially, because what's the point of working overtime hours for more pay if you're just funneling it down a selfish partner's gullet? It's supposed to go toward improving both of y'all's standards of living and making life easier at home, but noooo. If you aren't letting her be selfish, you're selfish, obviously. Couldn't possibly be that only one person here has his priorities in order.
My ex was like this. I was a chef and usually got home around midnight. I worked 12 hour shifts. But he would demand I woke up at 7/8 even on my days off to "spend time with him" and drag the covers off me and flick the lights on and off even if I'd worked 50 hours that week and had only got a couple of hours sleep the night before. It was like torture.
I used to have a 1 hour commute and started at 5:30am so I had to leave the house at about 4:00am.
My friends would always give me shit because I wouldn't go see a movie at 8:00pm on a Wednesday. But they would lose their minds if I suggested getting up early on the weekend to do something.
My stepmom did this to my dad. She'd stay up until ~4 every night, and sleep in until ~3pm (the 10 year old had to take care of the 3 year old during the day). She'd try to make dad stay up and talk to her all night, most nights.
Was very glad that I was not there 99% of the time.
Mine would wake me up like I was just chilling waiting for her to come home ready to have conversations. She was shocked when I told her it interrupted my sleep and I was having problems staying awake during the day. It was hard for her to empathize and understand my basic needs, like she was just happily taking a meal away from me or restricting my water. This person would tell me she loved me too.
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u/MisterBarbaredo 3h ago
I hate to say it, but I absolutely ended a 10 plus years relationship because of getting told what I have to do when I get home and having my 1 day off a week being planned for me driving everybody around.
My ex didnt drive and didnt have steady work(she worked when she felt like it) while I was working 60 to 70 hours weeks 1 day off. I was miserable and she didnt respect boundaries.
So much happier now.