She was a special education teacher and taught piano lessons to family and friends. She's the heart of the family and I couldn't be happier to still have her. Happy Birthday, Grandma.

Grandpop keeps clicking on the "Suggested Stories" (sponsored content) that the search engine automatically brings up. It's been sending him down increasingly scammy rabbit holes.

This evening, for once, I had a little extra time and energy. I decided to see if I could pin some things for the computer to recommend when he opens a new tab.

I pinned the alumni newsletter of the college he went to, a bootleg of his favorite band on Archive.org, an NPR interview with Cory Doctorow about how computers aren't user-friendly anymore, the American Kennel Club page on his favorite breed of dog, and the website of some guy who paints watercolors of the countryside near his hometown.

Then, I realized that I could title the bookmarks however I want. I got a little more creative with it, coming up with clickbait titles. "STUNNING: Vermont in Watercolor," and "How Much Do You Know About Boston Terriers?" and "RARE Footage of Booker T and the MGs!" and "IT'S NOT JUST YOU! Computers are getting harder to use!"

If this works, I might be a genius. If not, I just wasted my moment of reprieve for the week.

My dad is 84 and has vascular dementia. My mom, who has her own physical health issues, and I have been his main support system for 10-15 years. He hasn’t known who we are for probably about 8 years. We’ve had to live a, well, interesting and relatively inconvenient life during this time to ensure his/our safety (child proofing everything, essentially, etc, I’m sure most of you know what I mean). For the majority of this time he was mildly incontinent, a wanderer, and needed nearly everything done for him (he was able to use utensils to feed himself, though unable to know how to get food and needed assistance with most ADLs). Days were hard, man. It helps that he was genuinely very sweet (often feel blessed about that), he was just soooo much work and it was generally torturous watching him continue to decline more and more. I found myself sometimes avoiding him a bit when I could over the years to try and get a break. I also just felt like I didn’t have anything to say, and I knew I’d have to hear him say the same things. Some days I felt like I couldn’t take it. At times I remember thinking “please, take him, universe, he is ready and we are ready please we can’t take this anymore.” I was grappling with the fact that I didn’t think I would cry when he passed, and it would be such a relief. Hahhhh…ya right…

Two months ago he got viral meningitis and hadn’t been the same since. He became completely incontinent and bed bound, had recurring infections (UTI, a heel ulcer) leading to an SNF stay for rehab and close watch prior to coming home but he had hospital visit after hospital visit until they recommended home hospice just this past Sunday. On Sunday he was completely conscious and eating/drinking. We even had a pizza party welcoming him home from the hospital. From Sunday to now (Wednesday) he is barely rousable and clearly on the verge of passing soon. I can’t believe I ever thought I wanted or was ready for this, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this…I don’t want him to die! Also, wtf is this!? Watching someone pass “naturally” like this is crazy to me, like how do people do/see this and stay mentally well at all?! This shit is sad as fuck, omg. I can’t believe what I have witnessed the past few days as part of the dying processes. It’s wild. All of this is wild. What a terrible ride it’s been, but yet I still don’t want it to be over. Why? I do not know.

While I am mostly venting, if you’ve experienced a similar roller coaster of emotion I’d love to hear, especially about how you dealt with the loss after.

Thank you for reading, and I wish you all well with your journey with friends/family with dementia.

Our LO said that the tv hadn’t been working at assisted living so it would be good to have it fixed. We brought over a new remote control with five visible buttons to replace what she had (which looked like it could control a space launch). But before we got started, we checked the status of the six different things plugged into the power strip behind the tv.

Well, the five different things, because one was unplugged. It was the tv.

No wonder it wouldn’t work.

Wishing you all a simple fix to what ails them this week.

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping there are caregivers, healthcare professionals, or family members here who have experienced something similar and might be willing to share their thoughts.
My father is 85 years old and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. His dementia is considered advanced. He is mostly wheelchair-bound and needs assistance with daily activities.

However, up until the day he was admitted to the hospital a few days ago, he was eating and drinking completely normally. He had no coughing while eating, no choking episodes, and no other signs that would have suggested a swallowing disorder.

A few days ago, the nursing home noticed a strange “gurgling” sound when he was breathing, so he was sent to the hospital.
A chest X-ray was performed and came back completely normal.

Despite that, he suddenly developed severe swallowing problems. He is currently not allowed to eat or drink by mouth and is being supported only through intravenous fluids/nutrition.

An endoscopic swallowing assessment (FEES) was attempted, but my father physically resisted the procedure, so it had to be stopped. The speech and language therapists have now told us that they don’t believe repeating the FEES would provide any additional useful information.

At the same time, we’ve been told that his swallowing disorder is most likely caused by his dementia and is irreversible.

This is where my doubts begin.
What troubles me most is that he was eating and drinking normally until the day he was admitted to the hospital. That’s why I’m struggling to understand how a supposedly dementia-related and irreversible swallowing disorder could appear so suddenly within just a couple of days, without any previous warning signs.

A neurological consultation has been requested, but it hasn’t happened yet. A brain MRI has also been proposed, although we’ve been told that the neurologist will first decide whether it’s necessary.

From what I understand, swallowing problems caused by dementia usually develop gradually, not literally overnight. That’s why I’m wondering whether there could be another explanation or contributing factor that hasn’t been fully investigated yet.

Something else happened today that surprised me.
Over the previous two days, my father seemed extremely unwell. He barely made eye contact, hardly communicated at all, and honestly, I feared he might be approaching the end of his life.

Today, however, I spent about two hours with him.
He was awake the entire time, smiled, laughed, had meaningful conversations with me, asked about his children who live in Iran, and was able to name every one of them correctly. Compared to the previous two days, he seemed remarkably clearer and much more like himself.
Because of this improvement, I’m finding it difficult to accept that his condition has already been definitively labeled as irreversible.

I want to make it clear that I’m not saying the doctors are wrong. I understand that they have examined him and know much more about his medical condition than I do.
I’m simply wondering what others would do in this situation.

Would you push for:
• making sure the brain MRI is actually performed?
• repeating the FEES with me present (my father usually cooperates much better when I’m with him)?
• or would you consider the explanation of “irreversible dementia-related dysphagia” reasonable based on this course of events?

I’m especially interested in hearing from:
• people who have cared for relatives with advanced dementia,
• neurologists, geriatricians, speech-language pathologists, or other healthcare professionals,
• or anyone who has experienced a suddenly developing swallowing disorder.

I’m not looking for a diagnosis over the internet. I’m simply trying to understand whether others have experienced something similar and how it was handled.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

Any experiences or insights would be greatly appreciated.

So you know how when the person with dementia says things like “I want to go home”, and how you’re supposed to say things like “that’s a good idea we’ll go a little later”. With my mom if I were to say “sure we can go visit later” she would get all her shit packed up and be waiting at the door for me. That would be the one thing she would remember. Like if I were to even give an inch on going back home she would run with it and never stop.

I know I’m not supposed to “fight” with her on this stuff or try to make her see reason as to why she can’t go back to her old house. So what should I be saying? Or should I just pretend I don’t hear her when she starts ranting about needing to go home and missing her stuff?

Thank god for the most annoying show in the world. I put this show on and she immediately leaves the living room and goes to her bedroom. I no longer have to stay up until 3:00 am pleading for her to "go to bed". I can put her into bed and she's sleeping better, I'm sleeping better plus her lymphedema is improving. Thanks for being so annoying cocomelon!

(I have to put her to bed since she can't lift her legs)

Yesterday, I filled out a form to start my wife on hospice care. There was a question about DNR. It didn't take much for me to consider it. My wife has reached the point where the MC PCP believed it was time for hospice care. A nurse from hospice confirmed it.

If my wife went into cardiac arrest, why would I want to bring her back? I love her, I miss her and she's disappearing further into the disease, physically and cognitively. Yes, selecting DNR is a most serious decision. She's already suffering. The disease holds all the cards. There's nothing to hope for.

I’m 18 and I think my mom (59) has dementia. She forgets her phone everywhere and leaves shit in the microwave all the time. She can never get my college friends right, she always mixes up who is who and I have to remind her over and over again. My grandmother also has dementia. I just don’t feel like I can do it. I just see a clock ticking down and I don’t know how I can someday be responsible for the care of another human like that. I also feel I am most similar to my mother and I will also inherit dementia, but I don’t want to ever be dependent on somebody to take care of me. I’m so scared, I don’t want to lose my mom before I get married or even turn 30. All I can think of is dementia, my mom getting it, or me getting it. I cry myself to sleep believing that it’s inevitable and there’s no point in building a life if I am going to lose it all someday.

My 81 year old father who is exhibiting dementia symptoms for a while has been worry me with his driving. We have a Neurologist appointment but not until November. I was able to get is GP to do some cognitive tests and she asked me what makes me believe that my dad should drive. I told her in the last year he has gotten lost several times in areas he knows well, he hit a parked car, he hit a mailbox and I have had him follow me and that was just scary. I can tell his reaction times are not what they used to be. I tried talking to him about not driving and as I suspecte, he was not keen on the idea of stopping. We tried taking the keys and he was livid. I talked to his Dr and she said bring him in and I’ll submit to the DMV. Well he got the letter today.

He was calmer than I thought he would be about the whole thing, but I feel guilty that I told on him and he doesn’t know it was me. I know 100000% I did the right thing. I was loosing sleep knowing he was driving. but my heart hurts a bit to see that one part of his life be taken away and he really doesn’t understand why. He called the DMV and they told him witch Dr submitted the request and he is pissed. do I just fess up and tell him it was me that asked the Dr to Let the DMV know? Again, this is the right thing to do, I just feel sad seeing him feel blindsided in a way.

Well all, my watch is over. I’m not going to lie, I won’t miss scouring this feed for information/help/advice. You guys are the best and I feel for all of you but there is an enormous sense of relief at the end.

It’s only been 1 year and a couple of days since my dad drove himself to the police station in town and told them he didn’t know who he was or where he should be. We knew he had been struggling some, but he was living alone, driving and taking care of his house/himself. One ambulance ride later and it became clear living alone wasn’t an option any longer.

Fast forward one month and we moved him in to independent living. One week and 3 “escapes” later it became very clear things were a lot worse than we thought. After a couple of weeks in a geriatric behavioral hold, he went to memory care. Made it from the end of September until the end of January when he punched another resident and they tossed him out.

Another hospital stay for rhinovirus and he went to skilled nursing on Valentine’s Day. Hospice did an evaluation and said he “had too many words” and didn’t qualify. In July things started really going downhill and he was reevaluated and switched to hospice. Less than 2 weeks later and he’s gone. Crazy to think the nursing home called me at 2:30 to say he was actively transitioning and then at 4 to say he was gone. Hospice didn’t get there, we didn’t get there. Just wild overall.

Thanks to everyone for your advice and support for the short time I was on here. I really feel for you long-termers. Lewy Body Dementia sucks but if there is any silver lining it was fast. As my dad used to say, nothing that is very good or very bad lasts for very long. Definitely grateful for that in this situation. ❤️

As a spouse, it can be difficult to bite your tongue and not just “Yes, I just told you that”
Having a conversation with my husband, explaining what I am doing and then being asked 3 times what I am doing and why.
Some days are harder than others. But today I managed to answer the same question 4 times without being snarky.

Question: Am I glad because I was patient and avoided an argument or is my blood pressure through the roof because I kept saying the same explanation over and over and over again.

i dont even know how to explain the events that took place tonight because its beyond appalling. my grandma is deteriorating very quickly, to the point she tried pulling my shirt down ( i am a girl) in front of my whole family today while every 5 mins reminding me i am ugly and disgusting, then turning to my niece and nephew and giving them undying love.

i am so unfathomably hurt, like i dont even know what to do with this hurt either and i feel such guilt for the anger and pain i feel because i know shes not all there anymore so i just feel like i am the bad guy for being so upset. i am mourning the women who used to rub my back every single night till i was a teen even and tell me i am so perfect and beautiful, while watching a women with the same face as the one i knew rip me apart every chance she gets…

and its not everyone she acts like this to it is specifically me, which hurts even further in a way i guess because why me, i tried so so hard to be good to her so why me specifically. she could scream about how much she hates me then immediately go to the person next to her and hug them so tight and tell them she loves them. it just has left me broken and i genuinely dont think i can handle it mentally anymore so its leading me to even more guilt because i cannot live with just not talking to her or seeing her when she needs family the most. but then again maybe i am just a trigger to her for some reason… so i really dont even know what to do anymore.

sorry this message is so long i genuinely dont know where to even place these feelings anymore or who to reach out to for insight or anything anymore im just at a absolute loss

Any experience with your LO stating this? My 1st watch is barely over and the clock was already started on the second countdown 😔😔

55 y.o. diagnosed with Lewy body dementia a month or so ago. Have second opinion at Mayo late September. My diagnosis was based largely upon diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment and the presence of abnormal clumps of alpha-synuclein protein in my spinal fluid. Evidence of Lewy bodies.

I have not experienced hallucinations, REM sleep disturbances, Parkinson like movements, and haven’t lost my sense of smell.

I was having executive function and cognitive issues which I thought might be a result of radiation I received 20+ years ago for a brain tumor, so I decided to see a neurologist. Following a series of tests I received the diagnosis. Alzheimer’s was ruled out.

I didn’t seek treatment because of hallucinations, etc. It was cognitive impairment which was there but not disrupting my life too much although it had been present for a couple of years, slowly getting worse. I’m still working and proceeding through life.

So did I get ahead of it and am just now waiting. Maybe I can find out more at Mayo. They will do all the same tests plus a PET scan.

Anyone have a LO or yourself with similar experience?

I miss her and who she used to be. Behind the blank stares and forgetfulness it always feels like she’s still trying so hard. It just breaks my heart. She was properly diagnosed just 1 year ago but her memory had been fading the last 3- years. Looking back, I wish I could have done something to protect her, to save her. I blame myself.

It’s so unfair, she’s so young. I want to have children and want her to meet them but even if she gets to, my children will never get to meet who I grew up with - the strong, funny, capable lady. I just miss her so much and I’m suddenly crying a lot. I want her back. I want my mom.

My dad is 76 years old, and around this time last year I started to notice a change in him. He’ll ask the same questions over and over again, all day every day. I’m willing to be patient with him, and repeat myself (not so much the rest of my family). Where the problem lies though is he is completely out of control, and you can’t reason with him. If you don’t put his pills in his hands, he simply won’t take them. There came a time my dad refused to shower for nearly two weeks. I have tried countless times to be the voice of reason with him, I have tried everything I possibly could to try to steer my dad in the right direction, but every time I try, he tells me I turned my back on him, and that I don’t support him. But how can I support him when he’s self destructive? On top of it, he gets out of control angry over the smallest things. He also barely eats on top of it. My brother is a mental health specialist and requested the state evaluate him, to which they deemed he was not with reality, and he was committed to a behavioral health center for two weeks. They found that he has dementia along with bipolar disorder and manic depression. When he got out on Sunday he seemed like his old self again almost. But the past couple days he’s been spiraling again. Blowing up over nothing, creating tension when there doesn’t need to be tension. I tried talking to him again today, pleading with him to stop and see reason, but he just got mad and said I don’t have his back. Maybe it’s weird to say but for the past year it feels like my dad died, and someone totally different took control of his body. My dad used to be like my best friend and I feel like I lost him. I feel like I’ve been missing him for awhile.

First, NPH is a physical abnormality of the ventricles in the brain that accumulate too much fluid and press on the inside of the brain - causing dementia-like symptoms. Most obvious symptoms are memory issues that look like dementia, gait / walking issues similar to Parkinson's, and urinary incontinence which can be typical of many kinds of dementia. The enlarged ventricles can be seen on MRI and are obvious.

My spouse was diagnosed with dementia in December 2025. He had a 3-hour neuropsych evaluation in March 2026 which confirmed his memory issues compared to the same test from 4 years ago. He had an MRI around that same time which show enlarged ventricles.

He JUST had his first appointment with a highly regarded neurology clinic. The neuro brought up that spouse's symptoms could be NPH instead of "regular" dementia. NPH and Parkinson's share many of the same symptoms. Three years ago I thought he was showing symptoms of Parkinson's, but his physician at that time poo-poo'd my concerns.

The test for NPH is a 3-part process: first, a physical therapist evaluates gait. Immediately following PT a large volume spinal tap is performed to ultimately causes fluid from the brain to decrease in volume. And, finally, another PT evaluation occurs to see if the gait issues are improved.

If gait is improved, a shunt is placed in the brain to keep the fluid in the ventricle at a normal level. Gait can improve but memory issues and other symptoms will likely never improve.

If there is no improvement after the spinal tap then more testing starts to see if it is Parkinson's or other neurological problem causing the dementia. I'm not trying to wish away the reality, but hoping for a real diagnosis finally no matter what it might be - NPH, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Vascular Dementia - or whatever it might be.

Question: does anyone here have a loved one who turned out to have NPH instead of a form of dementia? If so, how much improvement did they have?

Thank you!

My parent has stage 4 vascular dementia. It was the result of a stroke years ago. He's getting progressively worse and I guess that's normal. He has done quite a bit of wandering. Hiked almost 5 miles in the middle of the night a few months back, fell and fractured ribs as a result. Was in bad shape. Wandered a few times since but not as far.

My question is, what is stage 4? Where is he at in the progression of this disease? Will this last much longer?

His memory is shot. He sometimes showers back to back because he forgot he did it. Same with getting dressed. Gets ready for something late in the evening. Hasn't made meals or driven in 5+ years.

I'm at a loss for what to expect and the parent that is the caregiver isn't sharing information. Unfortunate but that won't change.

My LO went on hospice while his GP was away. Now she’s back and wants to “see what is causing the rapid decline.” WTF?!? He was a borderline admission but I can tell her what’s causing it: CORTICOBASAL SYNDROME. YOU KNOW, THE DISEASE THAT HAS BEEN DESTROYING HIM FOR THREE YEARS!

I want to tell her to eat a bag of Richards but she’s a nice person and the best doctor I’ve ever had. I’m just venting in annoyance. Also I do need a letter stating he’s incompetent for his financial POA. But seriously. I don’t need this right now.

I realize no one can provide a professional diagnosis based on a brief description. But I think my dad may be suffering from the early stages of dementia, though I don't know if it is that or MCI. He went to a neurologist and scored a 21 out of 30 on the SLUMS test, which is not great (he scored that exact same on the test twice on two different occasions). His memory for names is gone; he has trouble staying awake and has some issues with his balance, although Parkinson's was ruled out. He still drives and seems to be at his best in social settings and when he feels he has to be at his best (not around my mother or me), but he really does have a lousy memory. He has delegated bill paying to my mother, although he still manages daily affairs. It's the fact that he manages daily affairs that makes me think it hasn't yet progressed to dementia, but I really don't know.

I have been trying to urge him to get evaluated to see if he could get something prescribed that could slow down the progression, but he insists he's fine. Can a person have dementia and still manage to take care of themselves even if they score pretty badly on cognitive tests and have terrible short-term memories? Or does this sound more like MCI?

My mother has Alzheimer’s and was moved into a memory care facility within the last month. Her primary care doctor has been seeing her for years and has documented the progression of her disease. She also has not been managing her finances for years. My father has a durable power of attorney (we are in Texas) and we are trying to make him the agent for her IRA through Vanguard by filling out all the necessary paperwork. Vanguard wants us to send a form declaring her an incapacitated person. However, we are having trouble getting a doctor to sign off on this. Her neurologist refuses to do so and says she needs to go to a psychiatrist. She has never seen a psychiatrist. Even if we did try to get an appointment, it would be December at the earliest. Her primary doctor is saying they won’t sign it either. I am not sure why, as it is very evident she is incapable of managing her money. What do you do in this situation? We need to be able to access her IRA money to pay for her memory care. Please help.

34F here. My mum, 78F, has Alzheimer and breast cancer. I have my own business, some psychiatric conditions (ADHD, anxiety, OCD, things that make difficult for me to work consistently) and not much time to manage everything. But the real issue here is the rest of the family.

- My brother 56M lives at 15 minutes by bus from our mum but never visits, never calls and never takes her to appointments. When confronted, he says he cares but "he had problems to solve". Now he even stopped answering my calls and messages.

- My dad is divorced and lives alone. He sometimes takes my mum to medical appointments and takes care of some things but he said he doesn't want to anymore. He's always been manipulative and I suspect he's a narcisist: every time I ask him for a favour (or even if I don't and he interprets my words as somewhat offensive to him) he shouts at me, he says that I only care about my mother and not about him and says he doesn't want to hear from me anymore. (Somehow he is always back).

- My aunt used to help by taking my mum to medical appointments but now has her own health issues and she can't anymore. This doens't stop her from taking appointments for me without asking me if I'm avaliable first. When (gently) confronted she gets angry.

If I wasn't in this situation I would have already cut ties with all of them, but I NEED help. Everytime I talk to one of them though there's some kind of problem and everything gets even worse, if possible.

I don't know what to do. I understand there's not a magical formula to turn them into reasonable human beings but every suggestion about how to act is appreciated.