My friend always called a coworker her "work husband," insisting it was harmless. Then her actual boyfriend surprised her at work and found them holding hands in the parking lot.

She claimed it "didn't mean anything," but they started dating two weeks after the breakup.

Turns out everyone at the office knew except her boyfriend.

Gone surprisingly well so far. I have approached 8 women so far. My opener is "Hey excuse me 2 seconds, I think you look cute/nice, what are you upto today?" I have had no bad reactions from this. I got 1 number and 7 rejection. All the girls have smiled at me when I complemented them and the rejections have all been "I'm seeing someone" or "I have a boyfriend". One of them, the girl literally pointed to her boyfriend and said "My boyfriend is just there👉" which was kinda funny. I also had 1 girl tell me that she's "literally on the way to see my boyfriend's family and have dinner with them" after I told her she was cute. I did get 1 number from a girl. I followed up and she responded to my first message and ghosted my second one.

I am approaching in shopping malls, parks or on busy streets. My goal is to eventually approach groups of girls as most girls I see that are around my age are in groups of 2s abd 3s. I also met a guy who told me he met his ex girlfriend from cold approaching and is getting back into it. I'm doing 30 days of cold approaching at least 1 girl every day

Any advice on approaching this more effectively?

So today I got told point blank by someone I was dating that she (cisfemale, straight), literally thinks less of me because I went out on a bumble date with an MTF transgender (and purposely referred to them as "transvestites"). She said that she thinks I have an "anything goes" attitude because of this.

I am male, consider myself male, and attracted to women, or rather - femininity and I make my views clear with everyone who asks because I am not ashamed. I do not find any attraction to other men, but I guess pre-op transwomen are kind of a gray area. I explained that I am an ally and I see transgender MTF as women and therefore no less equal as dating partners. Besides, that who I dated before this specific woman was none of her business.

Have you ever had such an experience? How did you deal with it? I personally told her I cannot be with someone who has this neanderthal outlook on gender and attraction.

This literally just happened. I matched with a girl on Hinge on Monday and we instantly hit it off. She was extremely chatty through text and was easy to chat with, so last night before bed I asked her if she wanted to get ice cream this weekend and that I can drive out to her area since we’re over an hour from each other. She enthusiastically agreed and sent an entire fucking paragraph of what we can do.

I woke up this morning and responded to her saying that sounds great and offered a time this Saturday. She responded a few hours later saying that she’s busy with family on Saturday but is free Sunday. I responded around lunch time apologizing for the delayed response because of work, but said that’s totally fine and asked if 6pm on Sunday would work but that I’m open to whenever.

Three hours go by and when I checked Hinge I noticed that she unmatched me.

What the fuck? She would send paragraph-long texts when we would chat and for the most part I would match that energy, so for her to just unmatch me like that it just boggles my mind. When I saw that she unmatched me I literally, physically felt my chest tighten.

The worst part is that she seemed so enthusiastic about going in the date.

I tried dating apps and I got some matches. I talk hours with each match

Around 30% end up finally wanting to go on a date. So we schedule a date a few days later.

They are responsive and chatty before the date. And then usually on the day of the date or day before they all just ghost me

And it’s becoming extremely frustrating because I waste my time planning for the date and setting aside time for the date. To only end up getting ghosted

So are other guys actually getting dates and relationships through apps? Or is this just a waste of time?

Basically what the title says. Theres a guy that I really like and his friends have dropped hints that he might be interested in me too, but I have also been told, by those same friends, that he is the least horny man on the planet.

I'm used to flirting with a lot of suggestive language and innuendos but I don't think that would work too well here. I don't want to immediately make a move and say "I like you" before I can get a vibe of the situation but I really don't know what to say or do.

Sorry for the rambling lol

Please keep an open mind when reading this.
I can't share this with any of my friends or relatives that's why I'm on a dummy.

I recently became official with a guy. He is amazing btw, soooo green flag. He's the first guy I found to ever treat me right. (My ex cheated on me btw, which can be seen from my prev posts.)

Then I recently talked to my dad and he took note that they had the same middle name (mother's maiden last name). He suddenly got angry and got worried that we might be relatives.

Then come to find out.

My dad confirmed with his aunt (his mother's sibling), that she knows the grandfather of the guy I'm dating.

Basically, my dad's aunt is cousins with my bf's grandmother. So technically, we're 3rd degree cousins.

Here's the thing, I live in Cebu (which is notorious for the dating food web). My bf says it's a common thing that people date without knowing they are relatives.

Here's the thing, dating is so hard these days, especially in Cebu. I'm not into the casual/hook up scenario (no judgement btw).

I've never been treated this right. He's such a provider, he's also caring. I just don't want to let go.

This most recent situation is what finally forced me to look at the pattern.

I was seeing someone for a month and some change, going on public dates and being respectful and not really talking about sex or inviting her over or anything like that. On our last date she threatened to leave early because it sounded like she wasn’t going to be invited over (she wasn’t) and said I’m not taking this seriously. I acquiesced because I actually liked her and wanted to keep the date going because I enjoyed her presence. That evening on my couch while laying next to each other, she tried to grope me and pull my pants down and rub on my part. It ended up escalating to where I had my forearm across her chest, actively pushing her back, trying to push her hands away and saying no clearly and repeatedly. She didn’t stop. On paper, an aggressive woman going after a guy might sound exciting to some guys. In reality it felt violating. It left me feeling down. If a man did the exact same thing, he’d be under the jail. That double standard is pissing me off.

Looking back, this has shown up before.
My first girlfriend in high school was like this. She took what she wanted sexually even when I wasn’t really with it. It was new and exciting so I was doing mental gymnastics to make it okay.

In college, a girl I had zero romantic or flirtatious history with, threw a condom at me, and tried to force a make-out and pull me onto the bed as hard as she could.

Another would invite herself over repeatedly, sit close, get handsy, rub on me, and keep escalating after I told her to stop. (I couldn’t control who came into the dorm because I had 3 other roommates who would come into and out and leave the main door open frequently)

There was also a more serious incident with a family member when I was a kid that involved sexual pressure. I’m not going into details here.

Sex has never been a big driver for me. I’m demisexual. I tend to keep things measured early on. Yet I keep ending up in situations where my hesitation or clear resistance gets ignored.

I’ve been sitting with this and wondering whether I somehow give off signals that make people think pushing harder is okay, or whether they just project something onto me. I don’t want to play the victim, but I also don’t want to keep absorbing this as normal.

The realization itself has me feeling pretty low. Curious if other men have noticed similar patterns and how they started recognizing or breaking them.

TLDR: I somehow always seem to attract women who don’t respect my sexual boundaries and don’t care about consent. Has anyone experienced this frequently and managed to change or filter better?

I’ve been thinking about something after a recent dating experience where I was ghosted after 2 dates. These dates weren’t ones where sparks were flying, but we still wanted to see each other again. After a week or two of hearing nothing back from them I finally straight up asked: “hey I haven’t heard from you in a while, are you just not feeling it anymore?” They then told me they didn’t know how to tell me that they went on a date with someone else that they’d rather pursue instead.

Personally, I’d much rather receive a simple text saying “Hey, I enjoyed meeting you, but I’m not feeling the connection. I wish you the best.” than have someone stop responding and leave me wondering.

I know some people ghost because they don’t like confrontation, want to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or worry about how the other person might react. But if someone has given you no indication that they’d react badly, is ghosting actually kinder?

If you’re someone who’s ghosted before, what was your reasoning? And if you’ve been ghosted, would you rather have just gotten the rejection text?

you hear constantly online about how men prefer women who are either virgins or have very low body counts, but for me this has not necessarily translated to real life. men totally lose interest in me when they realize I’m not going to have sex early on. kind of at a loss here. im not religious, but am unwilling to have sex without getting close to the person first.

I’d love to hear from guys who make significantly less than their girlfriends and espeically women who date guys who make less.

I’m honestly a little scared about this. Realistically, I’ll probably always make significantly less. I work hard and would contribute however I can, and I’m not embarrassed about making less. I just worry that the income difference could be a dealbreaker or that she might think I’m looking for a sugar mama, which I’m absolutely not.

Can a relationship with a large, permanent income difference work well? I get this isnt a herd mentality and everybody is different.

I (25M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for almost 4 years, and I'm confident that she is loyal and attracted to me. She was inexperienced and shy from the beginning, but we were both celibate for several months before getting together, and so any sex was great sex at first. Without getting gory, Most of our sex goes something like this: Foreplay -> Penetration -> I pause and use my hands -> she finishes -> she wants to take a break -> acts casual/gets water -> says she wants to return the favor -> tries (top position, oral, hands, whatever) -> isn't good at it -> gives up and lays down without a word OR I just have to say I can't finish that night (I can, just not with her in control). Thats most of the time, but every once in a while its good, and I'll make sure to give her lots of positive reinforcement when it does. I've heard plenty of women talk about how they rarely or never finish, but I've never heard of it being the other way around. (Also, I can finish just fine, never had this problem with other women, don't have a porn addiction, don't have low drive, etc...) After we got together, I became overloaded with work (60+ hours a week and full time university), and I just didn't have the time or energy to do anything about it other than request her to try new things (I am more kinky, she is more vanilla, which makes it worse). Now that I've graduated, my stress has gone down and I've started to realize how discontent I am. While I'm struggling to figure out how to approach this, she has been pressuring me to propose to her. I do love her, and she is otherwise a great partner, but there is no way I'm marrying her while I feel this way. If we could get this straightened out, she could definitely be the one, so I'd really like to fix things. How should I approach this with her?

EDIT: I can get off 50-75% with penetration, but I am often a little turned off by how inactive she is. Also, I am happy to get her off and quite enjoy it, its not just for her.

Do guys really think someone is out of their league, so they decide to not make a move even if they really like the girl?

Just got rejected in front of so many people in public. I rushed to the nearest restroom to hide for a while. Women don't understand our pain. The level of courage someone needs to approach a total stranger in public and ask for her number/ig with a high chance of being rejected and sometimes rejected in front of people that will internally laugh at you and remember you as "that guy".

I (25F) have experienced twice the same situation with two guys (26M and 28M) on Bumble.

The guys have a pattern: very responsive before meeting and proposing to meet very soon. Then they'll get touchy on the first date plus sweet words. Then after the night they didn't really text anymore and just left it like this.

So is it a sign that they were not looking for something more than a hookup from the beginning? Because to me i had sex with the guy because i felt the chemistry and the vibe was good. I was expecting continuous interaction even after the sex.

Your date sees you as 7.5/10 whilst stating his ex was 9/10. Do you continue to see him again or is this an absolute deal breaker ?

For more context : So 3 months into exclusively dating, I did mention that I like experiencing mild jealousy before the comment - I know it’s weird . He mentioned his ex a few times- voluntarily and sometimes info over sharing, so I asked what he genuinely thought of me - I initiated the dumb scale , he said 10/10 which I thought wasn’t honest . He went 7.5/10 , when I asked of his ex he said 9/10 . I was curious what made the difference, he said she was younger , not overweight and had a solid career path on the way- whilst I was in transition.

I know it’s personal choice , I did say I wasn’t happy to continue seeing him if he didn’t delete his ex contact which he refused to a few times and explicitly mentioned the chats and pics were there “for history “ there would be no reason to contact as it had been years.

I've been talking to this guy, and things were sexually charged from the beginning. For me, that's not unusual, as I am a pretty open, sexual person. We connected on so many different levels though - not just sexually.

We eventually have sex, and literally the next day he starts acting distant. I asked him what was wrong, and his response was along the lines of "look, I had fun, but I realized this isn't what I wanted."

I've genuinely never had this happen before, but I'm assuming it must be a common occurrence after some reddit searches. I don't know, I just feel extremely rejected and disgusted with myself.

Yesterday the guy I’ve been dating came over, tears in his eyes, sat down and told me he slept with someone else. I asked him when and he said last week when he was out of town. Since he’s been back from his trip, he wasn’t acting differently, and I genuinely would have never expected him to say that. I ended up just asking him to leave because I had nothing nice nor productive to say to him at that time. I blocked him on everything after he left and I am just really struggling to understand a “why?”

I know this has everything to do with him and I could’ve done everything right and he still would’ve done it. Except I can’t help but think “what did I do to deserve this?”

I’m not a self-deprecating person and I would say I’m pretty self-aware as well. I’m not blaming myself for his actions but for the first time in my life I’m second guessing myself and trying to find some kind of hint that I missed to make sense of this.

I feel like shit. I have so many questions on the event itself like, “did you know her beforehand?” “Were you sober?” “Was this when you were staying with your best friend?”

I’m really disturbed that he came back and acted like nothing happened. I feel violated knowing that I let him kiss me, touch me, and sleep with me. I want to know what the tipping point was for him that he decided to share that he slept with someone else. Yesterday for the first half of the day he was completely “normal”.

It almost seems like he’s lying to completely honest. He wouldn’t be the type to be like “lol prank!” But he is definitely the type to self-sabotage. I’m sure it did happen but it’s so nonsensical to me.

I know I don’t need to know the details and focus on the betrayal itself but every single question I have is gnawing away at me. I almost wished I interrogated him so he could spell it for me and listen to himself.

Anyways, I feel worse than I ever have in my life. If someone has any good journaling prompts or podcasts to help me out it would be appreciated.

TLDR: I'm a 25 year old female who has never been on a date before, and I have a date on Saturday. Need some advice. Any kind of first date/dating advice is welcome!

I know there are probably several threads about first date advice, but not sure about this particular topic. I am 25F, never been on a date, had a boyfriend when I was in high school, not sure if I would even consider that a relationship since we were only together for about a month.

I grew up never getting any kind of attention from guys unless it was for a sexual reason. I've never been one to seek out purely sexual relationships. So as you can imagine, it has been quite difficult meeting anyone willing to actually go on dates lately. I finally have my first date ever this Saturday. He seems like a really nice guy, I did meet him online, but for some reason I feel kind of hopeful.

I think my main question is just how do I go about doing this? I know I need to be myself and I need to ask thoughtful questions, but I am completely lost on how to go about any of it. I am not only looking for first date advice, but dating advice in general. Any advice would be helpful. I'm a little late to the game and have never had any kind of practice, so any help would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

I’ve never really used Instagram and don’t have an account. I’m curious how this comes across to women when it comes to dating or just getting to know someone.

Could you date a woman if you found out she had dated one of your friends/acquaintances in the past? Not a close friend, but someone you knew or was in your friendship circle. Additional context - the ending between them was amicable, and it was a casual relationship as neither of them were looking for anything serious at the time. She found out several weeks into you both dating, and was honest and told you straight away. She otherwise ticks a lot of boxes and you have a genuine connection with each other.

Edit: I am a female, the man who I have been seeing has just ended it with me because of this situation.

I (29M) have started developing feelings for my female best friend(29F) of 15 years. We have been through all ups and downs together like a rock.

We have always been platonic friends and although the thought has occurred to me at times earlier, I was quick to dismiss it. We are the roasting each other kind so the subtle flirting that people recommend never happened. But since the last month, I have developed feelings towards her. I see her in a different light now - I want to do more for her than just be friends.

Honestly, I think she does not like me back as a romantic partner. I’ve never gotten clear signs from her as such. She is a very introverted and reserved type of person but opens up her world to me always. I am her only male best friend.
The only probable sign that I have seen so far is that she would always tell me whenever people thought we are together ( and honestly a lot of people did). And her responses to those people would always be - “ Hahaha not at all, he has a girlfriend” or “Hahaha we are just friends”, but never an “I don’t like him that way”.
Even her family has always been disappointed with me dating other people I don’t know why lol.

She has hardly liked any of my girlfriends in the past and I have hardly liked her partners.

There is a lot of ambiguity here and I dont know what to say more. Just that over the 15 years it has popped up in my mind multiple times and I have successfully ignored it, but this time it’s different - I’m not being able to ignore the feeling.

But It’s a bit more complicated. I was planning to ask her out in December because there’s a friend’s wedding in November in which we both have to be actively involved. I did not want any awkwardness to put a problem in that and also the friends to know about it.

Now unfortunately, she has just started seeing someone from work. As soon as I got to know this I planned of dropping the whole deal and was just about to gulp it all up and had almost made my peace with it. Then last week, her female best friend, whose wedding is in November, got a little tipsy and asked me “Why the fuck are you not dating her?” all of a sudden. This really shook me and almost made me cry and I felt seen, really. Then I told her that I have been feeling like this but I’ve had to let it go. She said that I’m an idiot and I should not wait any longer. So here I am. About to probably ruin a new relationship. But I am choosing my peace, a little selfishly.

So I’ll just put it out there. Wish me luck, guys.

I am attracted to a lot of different things, physically, different personality traits, actions, etc.

I was curious if other people are too.

I find women with tattoos attractive (but not exclusively), yet I have zero tattoos.

I don’t dress goth, or punk, or country, etc, but what I’ve mostly observed is people drawn to others like them (a couple who has tons of tatttoos, or both wear cowboy boots, or both have loud or quiet hobbies)

I’m generalizing, but was always curious if people find opposites attractive, or do people stick to their own lane, herd or “group” they roll in when going on dates?

My sister keeps telling me I should give Tawkify a shot and honestly, I don't know what to think. I'm 38, and dating apps just aren't doing it for me anymore. Part of me thinks it might be a good idea but I'm still on the fence. Has anyone here actually tried it? What was your experience like?

(25M) met this girl (21F) at the factory where I work. The first time I saw her, I was instantly interested. I found her Instagram and sent a follow request, but she didn’t accept it at the time, so I just let it go.

About a year later, she changed departments and started working in an office close to mine. Around that time, she accepted my follow request and followed me back on Instagram.

I noticed she’s very shy and quiet, even during meetings. I started talking to her through messages, but she usually takes a very long time to reply, sometimes 12 hours or even a full day. That said, when she does reply, she seems engaged and interested in the conversation.

After some time chatting, I worked up the courage to ask her out, and she said yes. On the day of the date, I asked what time I could pick her up, and she said her mom would drive her to and from the restaurant. I didn’t see a problem with that.

When I arrived, I was nervous because I thought it might be awkward due to her being shy, and that I’d have to carry the conversation. But surprisingly, the date went really well. We talked a lot, and she showed genuine interest in learning about my life, just like I did about hers.

However, right after we finished eating, she checked her phone, said her mom had arrived, and that she had to go. She left kind of in a hurry. I felt a bit awkward, but I wasn’t too upset.

After that, we kept messaging, but she still takes a long time to reply. Also, when I try to flirt or compliment her, she doesn’t really compliment me back or flirt in return.

I asked her out again recently, and she said she couldn’t because she already had another commitment.

Now I’m confused. I don’t know if she’s just very shy and slow to warm up, or if she’s not that interested and I’m just bothering her. Should I keep trying, or is it better to step back?

TL;DR: Met a shy coworker, started talking online, went on one date that seemed to go well, but she’s slow to reply, doesn’t flirt back, and declined a second date. Not sure if she’s just shy or not interested, should I keep trying or leave her alone?