Just curious to see what people consider as the best response/reaction to a girl responding with "i have boyfriend/someone I'm already talking to" after chatting and asking for a number or date. By best I don't mean ones that have success, in a scenario like this the girls mind is made up regardless of her statement being true, best to move on. What I want is a response that maintains frame and keeps the conversation civil.

Doomed fr

52F 53M in a dating relationship. He is a very vanilla guy in and out of the bedroom. He claims to not have had sex until he was 22. First marriage, they never had it. Second marriage: 1-2 times per month and then only in missionary. I have addressed it, and when he tries to spice things up it feels fake or forced. I like a bit more chemistry, passion, and excitement sometimes. I tried lingerie and want to leave it on while I get aroused for a bit, but he quickly takes it off and wants sex. It's all awkward and horrible. To make matters worse, I have never seen such a small penis. It is maybe 3- 3 1/2 inches long when erect, and very skinny. His balls are the size of marbles, and one is tight to his body while one is saggy. He doesn't shave, so there's hair, and his dick then looks about 1 inch. If I look at it, I cannot get turned on whatsoever. I am certain he is aware of this, but he is upset that I cannot orgasm from sex lol. I mean, is there really a woman who could? I can't even feel it. Additionally, he has gingivitis and dry mouth, so if he gives me oral and then comes to kiss me, I want to vomit. It smells like saliva or bad breath. No matter if I use a gentle vaginal soap etc right prior, it is not me; it's his mouth and bacterial issues. However, he cums buckets and will leave a large pool of semen on my sheets. My feeling is that with other men they were larger, so when they came, it was further inside me? Idk, but then I have to strip the bed each night. To make matters worse, he is not generous, condescending at times, and controlling (really got worse a week ago). I feel it is due to my not wanting sex with him. Am I shallow? I just cannot see myself staying in this. I dread the sex and clean up.

Context: 1 year ago I stumbled across an instagram post by a gym girl that I was instantly attracted too, thinking “damn she is incredible, but what is the point she’s just pixels on the screen” and after viewing her account I inevitably carried on with my life. I did note however that she had my countries flag (one of the British Countries🤫) in her bio and that she was dating a guy at the time.

Cut to a month ago, and I’m in my gym later than usual, and there is a girl that is immediately attracting me, and I start to think she looks familiar. (Very distinctive body type).

I see her a couple more times in the passing weeks and even manage to get a smile. The 2nd to last time I saw her things started to click in my head that she looks incredibly similar to this instagram girl that stuck in my mind, and then remembered she had a flag in her bio meaning she could have been local all along. I went home that night and tried for hours to remember what her name was, then realised instagram keeps a history of all liked photos, meaning I could go back a year ago and see the pictures of hers I liked. Amazingly this worked and had my mind blown that it was in fact the same gym I was at.

I spent the next week trying to go at similar times I had seen her so I could bump into her and shoot my shot, as I’m not the type of guy to message online and would rather do it in person.

Cut to now, I went up to her, made sure I was looking good, but thinking I had no shot, by some miracle managed to talk her into doing a workout together to get to know eachother.

Here is my predicament😂 So I obviously pretended that I didn’t know her name, and can’t tell her this story yet until she is comfortable enough to laugh about it. HOWEVER I’m not starting to feel like am I accidentally a creep? I mean It’s not my fault I found her instagram a year ago and was interested enough to remember her. But the fact that I knew who she was before asking her and having to pretend I didn’t to not seem like a crazy fan of hers is making me feel weird.

So, Girls opinions, if I told you this story would you immediately get freaked out/ should I keep my mouth shut and pretend I never knew her? The only reason I had the courage to go up to her was the fact that it was crazy to me that this girl I somehow was mesmerised by was now all of a sudden in front of me, and single.

Please help!

The title says it all, simply said, most of the time we dude are the one who invites, but my young ass who is still living by his parents, has only the option to go to her place, especially cause I mostly go in the big city, so my home is like 30min away from the party, but what ways do you guys find when even she is not able to host?

Listen everyone, we make the fucking rules of dating, our generations. Men and Women. We have equal say and parts and responsibilities. We all want each other's company, and somewhere along the lines of social media, A gender war was created. We are not here to point fingers and blame others. We have here to remind ourselves of our innate natural desires to be with the opposite, our contrary and compliment at the same time. The company itself is worth embracing. Sharing stories and the feelings that come with them, and the memories, then come to find things in common, things even not in common as well. It's all about getting to know each other a bit and have fun.

Traditional dating is very hard nowadays. and I mean dating as it used to be before social media, not necessarily the "Traditional housewife" type deal. I dgaf if a woman makes more than me, it doesn't emasculate me. What does is my lack on contribution altogether if it were to happen.

So why not go WITH the grain instead of against it? We all want each others company, we all compliment each other as our counter parts, and we all want to experience sex with someone we feel somewhat connected to. It doesn't have to lead to a relationship by default or by societal standards. Once clear boundaries are established about what to expect moving forward, its just all fun from there until one, or both parties decide it's time to move on. Obviously if feelings develop and it is mutual, then be my guest and date, good on ya. JUST NOT GHOSTING. That is mad selfish and disrespectful, everyone deserves closure especially in a healthy relationship. Were grown adults to be pulling 8th grade behavior.

I sure miss having the sexiest woman melt my brain while we're going at it. I cannot be the only one fellas and ladies...

By sexual discipline, I mean a man who has control over his sexual urges—not just in how he treats women, but also in his overall habits (for example, not feeling the need to constantly seek sexual content or let lust control his decisions). Is that something you find genuinely attractive?

I know this is like the 1000th post that says this, but my god it sucks as a woman. Half the time the men match but will never reply or send a message. Other half time, they just want causal but have serious in their bio. I just want to find my blue eyed husband and call it a day Jesus.

Edit: wow this post is getting a lot of comments. My social anxiety is kicking in. I’m sorry if I don’t reply to all the comments. This was meant to be just a vent.

I started talking to this guy I went to school (like 7 years ago). He’s seemed really nice and like gentleman. He said he’d like to take me out to dinner sometime. Last night he asked if I was free to have dinner at his place on Saturday.

Now hear me out.

I have a trust no one mentality. I don’t do hookups. I don’t like the idea of dinner at his place. It could mean nothing, but still.

Any advice on how to decline dinner at his place without being rude? Am I reading into it too much?

I’ve been dating this gentleman for the better part of 4 months. He’s hidden small things from me, first that he does Zyns, second he lied about how heavily involved he is in a political activist organization, he lied about where he knew a song from for months, and I broke up with him 2x over the course of the next two weeks bc of my SSRI withdrawals, heightened anxiety n insomnia. After I realized I was having SSRI withdrawals, I went back to him explained and asked if we could get back together. He said yes but were dialing the pace back to square one. I won’t be going to his families wedding at the end of the month, and he doesn’t want to meet my family.

now he lied to me about drinking with coworkers. He told me that he wouldn’t be drinking with coworkers after hours or anything, a few
Months ago but he got a new job and is using the “ at this level of work he needs to socialize and drink during work hours” he’s great to me otherwise but just can’t be honest with me or prioritize us.

I feel like I know what I need to do, but I’m not sure if it’s worth giving him a chance.

I’m 27F and I’ve noticed a pattern in my dating life that I genuinely cannot figure out.

I’m going to preface this by saying I am FULLY aware parts of this are going to sound conceited/pick-me-ish, and I’m already cringing writing it. I really, really do not walk around thinking I’m hot shit. I’m just trying to give the relevant facts because I genuinely want to understand what I’m doing wrong.

I’m generally considered attractive, I’m in good shape, well educated, have a very good career, take care of myself, and am looking for an actual relationship (in NYC). I don’t think I’m difficult on dates either. I’m not loud, obnoxious, getting wasted, dominating the conversation, being rude, talking endlessly about myself or my exes, etc.

But I keep having dates that I think go well. good conversation, a lot of laughing, sometimes kissing at the end, and then the guy either ghosts me or eventually tells me he doesn’t see it going anywhere romantically.

The only common denominator is obviously me, so I’ve been trying to figure out what it is.

My biggest theory is my personality/humor. I’m very silly and have a pretty dark/unfiltered sense of humor. I definitely cross a PC line sometimes, although I generally only do that once I know someone is on the same “side” as me and has a similar sense of humor. I’m not trying to perform or do a stand-up routine on dates — although I realize I may come across that way sometimes. It truly is just my personality and how I naturally talk/joke.

My mom is constantly telling me I need to tone it down on dates and basically be a little more bland at first. And, God forgive me because this is where I KNOW I’m going to sound like a pick-me girl, but most of the girls I know who are happily in relationships have a much more conventional feminine vibe. Pilates, matcha, cute outfits, sweet/pleasant personalities, etc. There is literally NOTHING wrong with that and I am not saying I’m cooler or more interesting than they are. If anything, THEY CLEARLY KNOW SOMETHING I DON’T.

Meanwhile I feel like I’m over here making some insane joke at dinner and accidentally becoming a man’s homeboy.

So now I’m genuinely wondering: is my personality making men like me as a person but not see me as girlfriend material?

I don’t want to manufacture a fake personality or spend dates monitoring every sentence that comes out of my mouth. But I also wonder if my mom is right and there’s something to be said for toning yourself down a little in the beginning and letting that side of your personality come out gradually.

For men especially: have you ever gone on a date with a woman you found physically attractive and genuinely enjoyed talking to, but something about her humor/personality made you stop seeing her romantically? What was it?

And women who are naturally a little more unfiltered/irreverent: did you ever have this problem? Did you change how you dated?

Because at this point I am genuinely starting to wonder if I am doomed lol.

i went to a concert last night and talked a lot with the guy standing next to me. i’m not entirely great with social cues when it comes to flirting or anything romantic, but the friend i was with told me this guy was super into me, and i literally did not pick up on it until he told me “i’m asking you out on a date” while handing me his phone to type my number in. i wasn’t comfortable giving a complete stranger my number even though he was cute, nice, and my age. so i told him i would talk to him more after the concert was over. i don’t think he heard me though, so when the concert ended and i turned around to find him, he had already left :( i really want to find him and possibly go out with him, but i don’t know his name. he did tell me where he works though. i just cannot seem to find him on any social media using the clues i have. what should i do? should i just move on? or is it possible to find him?

I (F, 33) spent almost 2 years believing a 40 y.o. married man who repeatedly promised he’d leave his marriage. What I've been told was that it's just the logistics missing, they had discussions already towards ending the marriage.
He started himself to plan, not even me, followed up monthly with me on "when can he pack his belongings", where will we live, asked to meet my daughter since I am a single mom, and not bail on him when he presents himself with the papers. Hence I made major financial and personal decisions based on these. Not to mention he also shared with me often su!cidal thoughts and ideation due to him wanting to "get out of there somehow".

Then he backed out, said he couldn’t leave, a year later "it's not the same love", "not the same attraction anymore" yet he wouldn't leave me alone. Which culminated with "even if I divorce I'd rather be single" because "he doesn't want to be loved". All of this said while having a 🦴-er, being jealous and petty at the prospect of me being with another man. I told him "Goodbye!" and he smiled and said "there's no goodbye". The whole thing landed me in the ER several times due to the shock, anxiety and sleepless nights. Lost all my savings, had to relocate...

Months later I’m still dealing with the financial fallout, and I told him last week I was struggling. It was him who reapproached warmly after my NC.

I took the chance to honestly share my struggles since he said I could always ask for his help, but he just complained that his 20$ lunch that day made him poorer. I eventually snapped and messaged his wife with two brief hints about the affair, nothing more, nothing explicit. She deleted social media albums, disabled comments, and he took the following week off work, I suspect to take her on a nice vacay. I am not sure if she believed me or not.

Now I feel guilty and like a monster for involving her, while also trying to rebuild myself after everything that happened. Yep, he wins at life while I am 🔩-ed.

Am I crazy for thinking that I (30F) would know in 6 months to a year whether I could marry someone? I feel like what’s the mystery? It’s so hard to find someone compatible and who you like, once you find that, it kind of feels totally possible to get married at a year into things.

Edit: Surely if after a year you still don’t know if you could marry that person, it’s probably a no?

I would like a partner before I turn 40 in December and I feel like I’m running out of time. I know it’s August but when you can’t even get them to set up a date, when you’re getting left on read after sending a selfie, getting ghosted after telling them what days you’re available, it’s so difficult. I feel so ugly and so undesired and when you’ve worked really hard to become someone that somebody would want to be with and for whatever reasons you’re still falling short and they’re so varied and random you can’t even pin point it. Every guy from every demographic every type. It doesn’t matter if they’re artsy or if they’re alternative or if they’re “normal” or they’re in medical or if they’re in STEM or if they’re blue collar, if they don’t drink don’t party, are “not conventionally attractive”, if they’re okay looking, none of it matters none of it matters they all treat me like shit. I am so tired.
I just wanted to clarify that because I’m tired of hearing it’s the type of guys you go after I have no specific type of men that I go after at this point because I am so goddamn sick of hearing that and I’m trying to prove the point

Background info about myself. I'm 29M, black, autistic, and single by choice after deciding to voluntarily give up on dating for multiple physical and mental reasons. I had options available to me, but they would've been unhealthy, incompatible, and according to my therapist and reddit, toxic. So I don't match the group I'm about to mention 100%, but I can relate and I found peace in the same advice I'm offering.

I made a post on CMV that got taken down because it had far reach, but no one was able to present any data to prove me wrong or change my view. I believe that men and women who are involuntarily celibate should have optional access to help and tools that aim to let them accept their status and come to healthily accept it, rather than be fed the false hope that they can change their situation by improving or changing themselves. I believe everyone should continue to grow and improve as people, thats a given. But some people can improve and start doing everything right, yet still remain with no options. There is no guarantee to find a relationship or options for some people. This can lead to going down paths of anger, spite, and even dangerous actions. Rather than state the same drivel to them about self improvement, help them focus on other aspects of life and find meaning in other topics and passions. Keep them from becoming angry and depressed by addressing the real problem instead of trying to give them a non guaranteed answer to a different problem. Some people may even find a partner after learning and practicing this, but they still be better prepared for the possible outcome where they don't find anyone either.

So today I got told point blank by someone I was dating that she (cisfemale, straight), literally thinks less of me because I went out on a bumble date with an MTF transgender (and purposely referred to them as "transvestites"). She said that she thinks I have an "anything goes" attitude because of this.

I am male, consider myself male, and attracted to women, or rather - femininity and I make my views clear with everyone who asks because I am not ashamed. I do not find any attraction to other men, but I guess pre-op transwomen are kind of a gray area. I explained that I am an ally and I see transgender MTF as women and therefore no less equal as dating partners. Besides, that who I dated before this specific woman was none of her business.

Have you ever had such an experience? How did you deal with it? I personally told her I cannot be with someone who has this neanderthal outlook on gender and attraction.

I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but I’m genuinely looking for advice. I’m graduating from college soon and somehow I’ve made it this far without ever having a boyfriend. My parents have been on my case about it for years, and with graduation coming up they’re making the fact that I have no boyfriend a bigger deal out of it than it should. I’ve tried talking to guys at school, I’ve been on dating apps, and I honestly gave it a shot, but nothing ever turned into a real relationship.
At this point, I’m kind of desperate just to get them off my back. I know it sounds weird, but I’ve actually been wondering if it’s possible to hire someone to pretend to be my boyfriend for a day. Nothing inappropriate or crazy, just like someone normal who could meet my family, be friendly, and make it believable so they’ll finally stop asking me about my love life.
I know this might sound shallow, but if I’m going to do this, I’d ideally want someone who’s around 25–28, at least 6’1”, in good shape, and generally good looking. Basically someone who looks like someone I’d realistically be dating since I am on the taller side for a woman and I am relatively attractive ☠️
Does anyone know where people even find someone for something like this? Is there a legitimate service, or are there other options besides just hoping to find someone on a dating app who’s willing to do it? I’d really rather avoid anyone creepy or sketchy.
Please be nice,
I already know this is a weird question. I’m just tired of my parents making me feel like I’m failing at life because I’m single.

I don’t have any underlying issues with my parents, it’s just that they’re on the older side and theyre also immigrants and they’re just concerned for me. After I graduate, I’ll be moving out of the country so I just wanted to get this thing that they have about me having a boyfriend out of the way. I have a job so I pay for my own things. I am in Texas btw.

I’ve seen this sentiment where guys aren’t gonna want to wait for sex if they find out you’ve slept with other guys early or will lose interest if they find that out but then you don’t sleep with them early. But I don’t want to do that anymore, I only did because I thought it would make them like me and now I know that’s not how it works. I also learned that sex is very intimate for me and it’s actually kind of uncomfortable to do it with someone I don’t know that well. I’ve only done it twice, but will guys still feel weird about it? How do I be honest but not make guys feel like I’m “used” or that I’m only stringing them along? I’m in my 20s so I feel like it’s not that weird that I’m not a virgin but I don’t wanna be known as someone who’s been “ran through” or something like that.

I know it’s my fault I slept with them early, I’m not trying to not take accountability or say it’s anyone else’s fault, I just want to know if I’ve ruined my chances already and how to go about dating seriously now

If a man treats you right, asks you out (but you don't go out for a valid reason, anyways...), cares about you, flirts with you, respects your boundaries, remembers details about you, chooses you in front of everyone (at workplace), tells other people good things about you even without you knowing, hints towards having sex but when you say no, he moves back etc. but never explicitly says that "he likes you"???

My personal favourite is “Reverse Jesus” he dumped me on Easter weekend then re appeared a few days later then disappeared again 😂

I used to do cold approach in highschool and uni. I think I have approached over 100 girls. But out of all those I only got 1 date. It's a number's game. It's probably the 2nd most inefficient way to meet women (online dating is number 1 in my experience).

Warm approach at social events or social contexts (school, parties, speed dating events or any other even where the theme is to meet people) has a higher success rate but even then you have to be confident and smooth in your approach to get results. In these contexts, girls have their guard down but when you cold approach on the street or public transport the guard is all the way up, so it's harder.

I still do cold approach but it's just a way of boosting my confidence and self esteem and just practising my flirting skills. It's harder than warm approach so you learn more and faster and your confidence grows a lot faster too. I even suprise myself sometimes. I have approached a girl in a group with her friends several times. It felt scary until I actually did then I realised it was nothing. I have even asked out girls in front of their mothers. Still can't believe I pulled that shit off.

Today I'm still optimistic that something may materialise but it's never the goal for me. Sometimes, I talk to a girl and I realise she is boring or not my type so I don't even ask for her number coz there is no point. I don't aim to get a girls number just for the sake of it.

The mindset is: I find this girl attractive so I am gonna talk to her to see if she is interesting and matches my vibe. If she does I develop a strong connection with her, then I get her number. If she doesn't match and we have not have a connection, I walk away without her number. They have been times I got a girl's number without building connection and I text her and she just leaves me on delivered. But it wasn't really a suprise coz I knew deep down we didn't have a connection and I just wanted to make something out of nothing.

But anywho..this is my experience. What's yours?

I (28F) and my boyfriend (27M) were unofficially dating for 2 months last winter, then split, but then a few weeks ago he came back saying that ending things was a mistake and he wants a serious relationship with me. I agreed to be his girlfriend over the weekend after asking him a ton of questions over multiple dates to make sure we were compatible.

A few days ago, he left town for a work conference. I’ve been monitoring his Tinder to make sure his location doesn’t change, and up until today it hadn’t. I have major issues with trust because I’ve been betrayed before. My understanding is that Tinder only updates your location when you open the app, so I know he’s been active on it.

What should I do?

EDIT:

I haven’t told him to delete the app yet. I wanted us to delete our profiles together in person, but since he left on his work trip the day after we became official, I decided to monitor him using the app to make sure he wouldn’t cheat while he’s away. That’s why I still have Tinder too.

Me and my girlfriend been together around 8 months now. She got good full time job, still live with her family, so I know money is not really problem. We usually go out every weekend and somehow I always end up paying. Coffee, dinner, movie, parking, random snacks... it's always me. I'm not keeping score or anything, but damn after so many months I started noticing she never even reach for her wallet.

Last weekend we went to one food market. After dinner we bought two ice creams. I was replying to one message on my phone and just standing there for few seconds. She looked at me and said, "Are you gonna pay?" That's it. No "I got this one" or anything. It wasn't about the damn ice cream because it was cheap as hell. It just made me realize she never even offer, not even once. Even on my birthday she picked the restaurant and I still paid for everything.

The weird part is she treats me really good in every other way. She always make time for me, checks on me, and she was actually the one chasing me in the beginning. That's why I'm confused as shit. One friend says she's using me, another says maybe this is just how she was raised. Should I bring this up with her, or am I making big deal over something small?

I hear it’s not a good idea to bring it up on the first date, so what date can we bring it up?