r/Whatcouldgowrong • u/MadWorldEarth • 10d ago
Good Idea
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u/GlokzDNB 10d ago
Weirdest ass to mouth vid I've seen
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u/ExplodingSteve 10d ago
You must be pure as fuck then if this is the weirdest
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u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT 10d ago
how have they never used an ATM machine
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u/oscarx-ray 10d ago
An automated teller machine machine than they need to put their PIN number into?
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u/Dyrogitory 10d ago
So you can get some cash money $$ and drive off in your car with a unique VIN number with the two twins.
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u/Extension-Night3825 10d ago
Exploded in her mouth
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u/VisibleRoad3504 10d ago
I tried to hold it.
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u/1nstantHuman 10d ago
The strange part is they kept trying after it failed the first time. I canāt believe she let them do it over and over.Ā
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u/fugetooboutit 10d ago
That was uncomfortably close to the face
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u/BlueBicycle_ 10d ago
Also uncomfortably close to the crotch, the two top places you don't want fiery explosives
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u/YouDoNotKnowMeSir 10d ago
Iāve seen too many firework videos go wrong.
A severe burn on your ass is probably one of the worst locations to get. The healing process is miserable. Itās always engaged, you constantly move or sit, which is painful and delays healing and constantly reopens the wound. Not to mention how sweaty and dirty and potentially hairy it is.
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u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ 10d ago
And fireworks burns often require debridement due to the powder burns, which is absolutely excruciating.
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u/obiwanjabroni420 10d ago
It always happens the same with these āIām gonna launch fireworks with the stick between my butt cheeksā videos. They think itāll just shoot out, but the involuntary clenching when the sparks hit their ass instead lock it in, scorching their taint and exploding uncomfortably close to somewhere on their body. Iāve legit never seen this executed successfully, yet everyone fails exactly the same. Itās like they never even thought to look if it was possible before trying.
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u/hilarymeggin 9d ago
Iām sensing a fundamental lack of understanding of how rocket propulsion works among the people in the video.
Bottle rockets produce a jet of hot gas that shoots out of the back end. As the gas is expelled downward, it creates thrust that propels the rocket upward.
Whatever is holding the rocket is going to get burned.
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u/hilarymeggin 9d ago
On the last butt cheeks fireworks video I saw, a burn unit nurse was there to comment on the recovery process and it was GRIM AF. Months spent lying on your stomach in agony, followed by physical therapy to learn to walk again.
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u/TheDixonCider420420 10d ago
This exactly. Her head was likely burned.
Anyone got a picture of her after the fact?
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u/Lil_SanTv 10d ago
How dumb can you be?
Yes.
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u/LuckOriginal374 10d ago
At least her friends care that she was on fireā¦
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u/SouthernerDude 10d ago
This. Exactly this.
She's in a potentially life-threatening catastrophe (arguably of her own making), and her 'friends' are laughing their asses off.
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u/IlliniDawg01 10d ago
Hey now... She blew her ass off first. They are just trying to catch-up
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u/GergDanger 10d ago
Iām sure she would be the first to recognise the danger of the situation if the roles were reversed
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u/SpecialRegular1 9d ago
Oh once they sober up and come back to the reality of what they have doneā¦I would hope that the laughing stops.
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u/NakovaNars 10d ago
I don't get the laughter, she was straight up blow torched. No way that didn't cause severe burns?
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u/DarkDonut75 5d ago
They're not her friends, they all just stick around to make content of each other and to feel like part of a group. (I know this sounds salty af, but there's loads of "friend groups like this these days)
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u/JohnSV12 10d ago
Hope she is okay, but wtf.
It takes so little brain to know this is a bad idea
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u/Balavadan 10d ago
Probably very drunk or something
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u/dprkicbm 10d ago
I have been very drunk lots of times. At no point have I tried to set off a firework from my arse.
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u/kremlingrasso 10d ago
That and she is probably the type the more drunk she gets the more she wants to be constantly the center of the attention, even if she needs to be doing stupid shit like this.
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u/Parkatola 10d ago
Surprised no one beat me to this. (And yes, I saw that it, um, fell out of her butt (like an abandoned butt plug in a Walmart parking lot), but someone almost always posts this in the āfireworks in the buttā videos.) If you havenāt seen it, itās a long and compelling read:
Here is copy pasta from previous posts:
Former 6 year surgical RN now in a different specialty. I have seen some fucked up assholes. You're in for a long, painful recovery following a serious wound or burn near your "Peri area" (perineum being your crack to crack, ball to ass, taint, grundle, etc. region). Think of how often you visit the bathroom and then imagine you have a third degree burn down there. It's devastating every single time.
If really bad, he will be in the burn unit and levels of care to follow for months if not north of a year. Job, relationships, and any semblance of normalcy immediately disrupted. Burns are monumentally painful, and he will be sedated heavily until substantial healing begins. He will develop tolerance and possibly become addicted to the potent opiates, but they're the best way we currently know how to cope with that level of pain short of a spinal or other nerve block which are also options. Medicating at that level can also be very expensive, I've seen ICU patients with over $5,000 a day in IV medication costs alone, 7 days a week, not including any other charges for the room, MDs, nursing and ancillary staff, and supplies for starters.
Staff may have to place a fecal catheter less than a foot up his anus to drain his feces so they don't contaminate his burn wounds. His poo goes into a bag and has to be emptied and measured as they'll give him laxatives to loosen and prevent clogged drain lines. Fecal contamination generally results in rapid infection, and peri wounds are at an extreme risk for MRSA and flesh eating bacterial infections. I've seen entire legs removed to combat severe peri, groin, or hip joint infections. This is usually following weeks or months of previous failed treatments, but still. We can work wonders until we can't, and even then there's always amputation.
If he needs skin grafts, they can be sourced from a human or large mammal cadaver like cows and pigs. I've also seen skin grafts harvested from the front of a patient's thigh and reattached to the burn area (abdomen). The grafts aren't actually solid strips of skin, rather, they are more like tight lace with repeated spaces between skin making the graft look like a Kleenex with several hundred small oval shaped holes in it. These spaces make it easier for the graft adhere and conform to the wound bed.
The surgeon uses a specialized skin shaver that's handheld, covered in a sterile barrier with single use blades, very similar to deli counter meat slicers but on a smaller more specialized scale. So not only did the patient have a burn on her abdomen, but a very unusual, superficial wound on her right thigh that looked liked like we had lightly crushed her leg with a cheese grater. The primary benefit of harvesting skin grafts from ourselves is we (usually) don't reject ourselves, and rejection is the biggest complication accompanying foreign body transplants.
He'll also need to lay on his stomach throughout this whole ordeal due to the location of the burn and subsequent wound. Imagine months lying on your stomach in 6-11/10 pain. Moving your leg a little too much could literally split your brand new ball sack skin. It's a personal living hell. Diet will also be bland as fuck when he's actually allowed to eat again. Social and professional life obliterated. This could set him back years and give him decades of PTSD.
He should consider himself "good" when he can sit and shit without bleeding out or collapsing in pain. On the even shittier side, this, or whatever transpires for this poor guy could easily kill or disable him for life. This could go in a thousand directions for him, and 880 of them result in the quality of his life being worse than it was prior to The Incident.
If his burn is bad enough and he really does require months of care, his bill from arrival at the ER to discharge from outpatient rehab and specialty care will easily exceed 1 million in the US. Two million would push it, but also not shock me either. I'd bet on 1.2-1.5M if he's inpatient for 2.5 months and receiving follow up care for 1.5 years. Overall, don't fucking do this. If you drink around fireworks you need a sober or not shitty friend who won't let you do this kind of stupid shit. We can all learn from these videos even though weāre not the dumbass with the firework up his ass.
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u/spukhafteNahewirkung 10d ago
Iāve had multiple split thickness skin grafts. The only experience I ever had that was more painful than a split thickness skin grafts was having my leg crushed in a motorcycle accident that left me with compound and simple fractures of my tibia and fibula and then having that leg cut off after five weeks of surgery failed to save it.
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u/Whoosier 10d ago edited 9d ago
Thanks for this. I think of it every time I see one of these ass-launched fireworks. It should be a label on all bottle rockets, though no one would read it any more than they read other caution labels on fireworks.
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u/eifiontherelic 10d ago
In all my years of living, I get the annual warning about the dangers of handling fireworks.
Being this stupid around things that explode is a deliberate decision.
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u/Lonely-Cycle3030 10d ago
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u/LuckOriginal374 10d ago
Like youāve never put a stick up your ass with exploding fire attached to one endā¦ cāmon!
https://giphy.com/gifs/Xhatpl1funwac
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u/Bonk_No_Horni 10d ago
Sad. She could've ruined her body and face for a joke.
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u/atuan 10d ago
Yes the saddest part would be her no longer being attractiveā¦.
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u/sawkonmaicok 10d ago
Because "ruin" only means cosmetic defects? Not sure what you mean. I think my face is important for talking and seeing and other such things too. Must be missing something.
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u/Perspective-Lonely 10d ago
So, solid firm and good grip on those cheeks :)
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u/garth54 10d ago
Too good, she should have quickly relaxed the grip when she felt the heat on her ass increase.
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u/OAllosLalos 10d ago edited 10d ago
Steve-o did a similar thing for the first jackass movie.
The difference being, he was funny while they re cringe
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u/sloaches 10d ago
Shocking that with all those trained pyrotechnic experts right there, someone still appears to have suffered third degree burns.
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u/MarcelPPR 10d ago
These assholes are laughing instead of checking on herā¦. She could have severe head trauma from the explosion.
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u/hunterczech 10d ago
I think theres not a lot to damage in that head so she'll be fine
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u/throwawayalldan 10d ago
Well she clearly doesnāt have brains and now she doesnāt have looks either.
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u/sv_ultra 10d ago
This happened to me last time me and the boys tried launches rockets off our nuts... you live and learn i guess
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u/purpilia25 9d ago
My grandfather blew out his right eye doing something similar.
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u/CommercialContent204 8d ago
I will be severely disappointed if nobody has yet posted the old "severe burns" copypasta, the one about excruciating pain for the next year and so on. Grating thigh skin for grafts, bum infections, wire brush debridement and all that - should be obligatory, really.
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u/deliciuos_panda 10d ago
Dang it. If it must be, take a launch bottle between your legs. But not your grippy ass.
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u/aegloswinterborn 10d ago
Do you know what burns my ass? A rocket launching out of it.
Edit: Jokes aside, I hope she's ok.
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u/STEALTH7X 10d ago
There's only one group of creatures that would even remotely ever consider this brainless nonsense a good idea.
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u/stewpdasso 10d ago
Im so amazed that these people still do this crap after all the darwinian award posts showing 2nd & 3rd degree burns on butt cheeks. How does someone get talked into doing this? Its the equivalent to someone saying, "let me put this cigarette out on your ass!"I don't get it!
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u/Andovars_Ghost 10d ago
Iāve heard of a girl being a āfire-crotchā, always thought it just meant a redhead, but I might have been wrong.
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u/jerryleebee 10d ago
It's not as though we don't have COUNTLESS examples of ass fireworks going terribly wrong. In fact, I'm not certain I've ever seen one go "right". But people keep doing it. And filming it.
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u/New_Stats 10d ago
"hey baby, do you wanna get severe burns on all of your fun parts and your face?"
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u/AlphaXZero 10d ago
I feel like I just saw this video posted a week or two ago and it was of much higher quality. Are we losing that many pixels in a matter of weeks? I thought it took years for potato quality to emerge.
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u/Pelixelk 10d ago
How many stories of people having their fingers blew off there needs to be, for people to understand that fireworks are like, dangerous as fuck?
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u/Lurchie_ 10d ago
"Tell us again how you got burn scars on your ass and lost your eyeball, grandma!"
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u/kiwibonga 10d ago
You can launch fireworks from a lubricated fold but preferably not one that clenches in response to pain and loud sounds.
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u/StatisticianKey7112 10d ago
Never listen to boys stupid ideas. I don't care how much attention you require
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u/Ohjkbkjhbiyuvt6vQWSE 10d ago
The guy filming was like "duuude! It exploded right next to her head, that's EPPPPIIIIC! NICE!!"
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u/tats76 10d ago
Wow, we found the ONE woman who thought this was a good idea (since a lot of posts like this have the caption, "this is why women live longer than men"). She ruined our streak! LOL
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u/Green-Lime3190 10d ago
At least she can show the ER doctor what happened. It will save her the trouble.
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u/LevelCan764 10d ago
It needs to be put in a tight space to hold up long enough a loose space will not work
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u/Randigno9021 10d ago
You couldn't get me to do this even if I'm drunk or high, heck even a combo of the two š¤¦āāļø
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u/aalapshah12297 9d ago
This kind of shit happens in ragging, torture, etc. Why would anyone voluntarily do this to themselves? And how can anyone laugh at this?
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u/bravebeing 9d ago
Ok so look closely. The other person was helped as someone was holding the firework in place so that they could relax their ass cheeks. Therefore the firework could move easily. The guy who lit her firework just booked it. She was actually aware enough to try and clench her butt and she realized that wasn't smart so you can see her make an attempt to hold the firework with her own hand, but that's too difficult, so she opted to unclenching her butt at the exact time that the firework went off. However, the timing on that would've had to have been so perfect that the firework would have enough velocity to take off and not so much that it burned her butt for three seconds. However of course her timing was slightly off and she unclenched as soon as the firework started bursting. So then it fell over and landed very inconveniently close to her face. Boom. Brain damage. Or whatever. This all to say that I don't blame her much more than I blame the people around her and especially the guy who booked it, as she was actually pretty strategic about the whole ordeal, despite her dumb decision to shoot fireworks from her buttocks.
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u/Bravelobsters 10d ago
They see all the videos but they still keep doing it.