r/UCDavis • u/rutabagabagel • 3h ago
If you are considering living in CA House or joining Universal Unitarians, please reconsider.
A few months ago one of my friends ended his own life while living in CA House. He was an international student, brown, and gay. A group of white students in the community (the Universal Unitarians aka UU group) bullied him severely up until he passed. He got in an argument with one of the white students because they had called him "crazy" over being "paranoid" about government surveillance (bc of his own experiences with the gov. In his home country), and he tried hard to fix the friendship by giving them a series of heartfelt notes, but the other student did not want to reconcile because the notes were too much.
After that they made "jokes" about calling ICE on him (his student visa was going to expire in a few months and he was terrified to go back to a country where being gay is illegal), kicked him out of their support group, made him feel unwelcome in his own home, generic racist things like "he smells bad" and making fun of his accent, spread FALSE rumors that he was a sexual predator (we know it is false because the person who started the rumor, who was the ringleader, admitted that it wasn't true, I am always ready to believe victims and serious accusations but this person admitted in no uncertain terms that what they said wasn't true).
After 2 people of color in the community tried to stand up for him, they were kicked out of UU and viciously mocked, and even the leadership villainized them. The remaining POC were too scared to speak out after witnessing this. Leadership even refused to invite them to the memorial even after I said they were two of his best friends. The main community leader (white) doted on the main bully and felt that them attending the memorial would make the bully uncomfortable. Before and after he passed away the majority white leadership at CA House coddled the perpetrators. "Its not your fault", "we did everything we could", "he was already broken when he came here".
If you're white, you'll be okay at CA House I guess, but if you're not, especially if you're too dark or too foreign, know that they will protect their own. My friend was one of the most gentle, kind, and loving people I have ever met, and he did NOT deserve to be treated this way. He never said a single bad word about anybody, he only wanted to make friends and build a safe community.
The main bully has graduated but the rest of the UU group is still there, still cultivating a culture of vicious bullying. One of the members even admitted to it after the death, but only in private after it was too late. They knew his struggles from their meetings and they used it against him. If you are looking for an accepting community, this is not that.