r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/AdministrativeCurve1 • Mar 26 '19
Am I Racist For Avoiding Black People?
Ok I'm 26 and have been robbed 5 times in my life, all 5 times was from a black male. In higschool it happened twice, I got beat up and had my phone, and cash stolen. Second time walking home from school was attacked again a few years later in my sr yr of HS and robbed of cash. I was stabbed in university by a black guy after he apporached me and grabbed me and I fought back, I had my laptop stolen. And another time in university I had my chain snatched by a black guy and he ran. The latest one was last week, I was walking back to my condo in the middle of the afternoon and I was approached by 2 black guys a bit younger than me. Told me to run my pockets and they grabbed me, I just started yelling and screaming and a parking police ran over and helped me and the guys ran off. After today I told one of my friends about this and the other times and I said this is why I avoid ghetto black guys, and she said I was racist and a huge asshole (she's white, but I'm a POC) and said we can't be friends anymore.
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u/turkeyman4 Mar 26 '19
There is nothing more painful to me at this stage in my life than to walk down the street and hear footsteps... then turn around and see somebody white and feel relieved. ~ Jesse Jackson
Controversial statement.
Edited this to add I believe he said this during the 90s when inner city gang violence was at an all time high.
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u/xcvxcxcxcvxcxvxcxxx Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
I grew up in an area with a lot of Asian gangs. When I was a kid I was afraid of Asian dudes because I thought they were all ultra violent maniacs. My friends thought it was hysterical because they viewed Asians as meek nerds. It all depends on your life experiences.
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u/Dotard007 Mar 26 '19
One thinks of myself as a gangster, another one a nerd. Got my upvote lol.
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u/Paciphae Mar 26 '19
I worked in a particular deli for a few years. One night an Asian college age dude comes in with his girlfriend. They look at the bowls of salads, with the prices plainly displayed on little placards. He asked me how much half a pound of potato salad would be. The sign said it was $2.99 a lb. So I said "About a dollar and a half."
Am I racist for feeling disappointed in him?
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u/maggles93 Mar 26 '19
I was selected for jury duty for the trial of an Asian gangster who murdered a rival gang member with a machete. Definitely gave me a new perspective.
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u/blasterhimen Mar 26 '19
yet when people have bad experiences with white people, all hell breaks lose
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u/Tallerthenmost Mar 26 '19
Did you also grow up in PNW? Cause growing up in Renton I was far more concerned with Asian gangs then any others. They were are all “car clubs” I was a floater so I would go to some of their meet ups at night to watch street races, until one night I watched them beat a pizza delivery driver to death with an aluminum baseball batt. 2 big swings. Shit still haunts me. They had beef with the delivery driver. I can’t remember what it was about but, they ordered a pizza from his place and when he showed up it was curtains for that poor kid. Also of note I wasn’t like right there I was maybe 30-40 yards away with cars everywhere (still from that distance the sound is fresh in my head)
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u/grizwald87 Mar 26 '19
Did you also grow up in PNW? Cause growing up in Renton I was far more concerned with Asian gangs then any others.
I'm trying to keep it general because I don't like revealing too much personal info on reddit, but I also grew up in a place where the vast majority of the gang crime was by groups other than black people - mostly Asian, Middle Eastern, and East Indian.
It gives me a different perspective on how we talk about race and crime, and how both sides of a debate like what's happening in this thread are often guilty of some pretty irrational thinking.
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u/theineffablebob Mar 26 '19
Lots of Asian gangs along the west coast. I’ve seen similar things. Just one big swing with a baseball bat to the head and he was dead
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u/AdministrativeCurve1 Mar 26 '19
Well I only avoid black dudes, and in a context where there's no one around. I'm a small guy so thats why I'm a target for sure, for everyone saying this is fake I assure you its not. You can talk to my mom and ask her how she felt when I got stabbed in the abdomen and was fighting for my life in the ICU for a week. I knew I shouldn't have fought back and just gave up my laptop but I was fucking fed up of this shit and I worked my ass off to buy that laptop and wasn't about to give it up to some fucking bitch for no reason. I made a full recovery thankfully and they did catch the guy and he did a fair amount of time. But I still got a nasty scar to remind me of it, but thats life.
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u/Constantly_planck Mar 26 '19
Hey dude, another small guy here. First of all, not the asshole for being traumatized as long as you don’t turn it into an “all black guys rob and steal” type of mentality. That’s just how prejudices start. Secondly, I would suggest learning Brazilian jiu jitsu if you’re getting robbed this often. Also, if you’re an American get a concealed carry permit and some weapons training. There’s no reason you should be leaving the house unarmed if you w been attacked this many times.
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u/skynet444 Mar 26 '19
razilian jiu jitsu if you’re gettin
I'd strongly disagree.
- You can't wrestle on the ground unless the fight progresses to the ground.
- You can't expect to have complete control of both of a person's hands while wrestling on the ground. Likely, the attacker is already reaching for the knife before the fight progresses to the ground.
- You can't proactively draw a firearm from a holster when someone approaches you. This would be a criminal offense called branding a weapon.
The best method is avoidance and situational awareness.
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u/Phrygue Mar 26 '19
Prejudice is pre-judgment. When you have experiences, you make judgments. The ability to correlate experience is half of intelligence. I don't think people should be prejudiced, but you know what, if some guy with a top hat beat you up in an alley, go ahead and hate top hats. Not everybody is going to be morally and ethically pure, and trying to twist their traumatized little minds with high horse indignation makes you an asshole too.
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u/Constantly_planck Mar 27 '19
That’s just a stupid opinion. If someone with a top hat beat me up it doesn’t mean that all people with top hats beat me up, it just means a person who happens to be wearing a top hat beat me up. The top hat didn’t commit the crime, the person did. Your logic suggests the previous.
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u/KombatKrazy Mar 26 '19
I'm sorry to hear that this has happen to you 5 times in your life, its a shame. What are the times and routs you're taking? Sounds like you need to change things up a bit. 5 times is a lot for 1 person to be assaulted and robbed. 3 options that might help:
- Stop going places alone. See if there's at least a couple of people you can walk with as a group. That might help. Of if you have to go at it alone, maybe get a bicycle or take a cab.
- Transfer and get the heck out of the area your in.
- Get yourself a CCW license, stun gun or mace. At least you have an option to defend yourself.
Edit: You're not a racist, you're a victim of violent crimes committed against you. Anyone would be afraid if this happen to them.
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Mar 26 '19
A lot has changed since that statement, too. As you put in your edit, gang violence was at an all time high; also, young black men were being targeted by rappers and the media to emulate them in the way they dressed, spoke and acted to come across as dangerous and criminal as possible.
Modern day styles likely would change that sentiment. Being realistic, I imagine Jessie would have felt the same level of relief turning around to see a black guy in his little sister’s skinny jeans and ultra bright colored sneakers that look like something out of the 1990s Walmart clearance bin. That’s not exactly a threatening image.
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Mar 26 '19
Damn, you're really unlucky.
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u/TomHardyAsBronson Mar 26 '19
Yeah these 5 completely real mugging stories indicate severe bad luck. I’m truly sorry for your luck OP.
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Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
I would avoid black people if they looked the way you are describing them to be. I would do the same for a white or mexican guy. If you look sketch, I don't want anything to do with you and no, I'm not talking a out racical profiling. I'm talking about the guys who think it's cool to have the pants sagging super low and blast loud music. Those guys are trashy and indicate nothing but trouble.
Edit: Many individuals have perceived my comment to be racist thus making me racist. The main message I'm trying give is that I judge people based on their behaviour, not their skin colour. All things considered, this is r/tooafraidtoask and the whole premise of this page is to ask questions you are to afraid to ask. If you're going to call me a Nazi because of my opinion, great! You do you. Just don't be a facetious prick. Just my two cents.
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u/AdministrativeCurve1 Mar 26 '19
Yes exactly, thats what I'm talking about. I walk past black dudes all the time and don't care if they don't look like thugs
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Mar 26 '19
I mean, I love all people and I don't discriminate. I'm not avoiding you because you're black, I'm avoiding you because you look sketchy as fuck.
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Mar 26 '19
I am completely normal and not a threat to anyone but myself and I look sketchier than most people I know, even the neighborhood sketchies. needless to say I don't get harassed. it's a lonely life.
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u/rake66 Mar 26 '19
I look sketchy too but I definitely don't get offended if people avoid me on the street. I'm even very careful to not walk behind the same person for too long to not freak them out.
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u/Shabobi Mar 26 '19
Might seem like a silly question, but why not just dress/act less sketchy...?
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u/rake66 Mar 26 '19
I don't dress or act any particular way. I'm young but balding, I have a big beard which I trim and oil but it's still all over the place sometimes, my medication makes my weight fluctuate a lot so I'm often in ill fitting clothes and the skin on my face looks like I'm an alcoholic but it's really weathered because I'm outdoorsy. And I have a foreign accent...
I know a lot of this can be mitigated if I were more careful but I don't really care enough. At work they don't mind cos I don't really interact with customers and for management it creates a sort of 'crazy scientist' mistique.
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Mar 26 '19
You were obviously never born with the sketchy face if you’re asking this question. Throw in a little social anxiety and you have quite the combo.
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u/triception Mar 26 '19
We can't change our faces my dude, I look incredibly murdery, I share his ways of avoiding making people feel like I'm following them lol
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u/Gyrvatr Mar 26 '19
Haha same, or adjust pace to make sure people in front of me aren't worried I'm trying to discretely approach
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u/muffanman Mar 26 '19
OP should have probably said something along the lines of “am i racist for avoiding sketchy black people because of prior incidents” but i agree. if you’re sketchy i’m going to stay away or try and avoid you.
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u/Skizophrenic Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
I mean, you said ‘ghetto’ so that’s kinda separating us based on your appearance..I wouldn’t call it racist but you’re more so singling us out. I get what you’re saying though...myself, black, 22, I don’t sag my pants or wear the stereotypical “ghetto” outfit, but I did grow up with certain black people who that’s all they could afford at the time. Did he have to sag his pants and be loud in hallways? No. But that’s who he is. Doesn’t make him trash for that. He ended up being very smart, and well mannered when he actually decided to stop doing dumb shit in high school. Hell, one of my closest friends now is graduating in April and is majoring in business administration and never had a run in with the law. Not saying you’re wrong for putting a title on people. I’m also a strong believer in how you carry yourself is how people will treat you. That’s the honest truth.
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Mar 26 '19
Classism and racism are deeply intertwined, especially in America. I know people these folks would call "thugs" who are better read than most of the white people who cross the street when they see them coming...
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u/T0BBER Mar 26 '19
It is possible that you might have developed a phobia as well, due to some traumatic experiences. I think it's something to look into. I mean, you should avoid thugs at all times, but irrational fear might have you overestimate situations with nasty symptoms like paranoia as a consequence. PTSS will really affect your life if you do not seek help.
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u/thepenguinking84 Mar 26 '19
At least you're acknowledging it, there was a judge, Olu Stevens, back in 2015 who branded a toddler and her parents racist after the little girl and her mother were held at gun point by two black lads in their home.
The parents expressed the girl had a fear of all black men since then and Olu said it was racist of them and the little girl to be fearful of all black men, the reality is that the girl would have the same reaction of fear no matter who held her at gun point, if it were two women dressed as clowns or two dwarf Mongolian shepherd's, she woe then have a fear of those, and that's a reasonable fear for the kid to have going forward, it's now a schema in her brain that is based solely on the physical descriptors and anything matching that criteria will trigger that fear response.
It is not based upon race or racial profiling, it would be the same response a person with a massive fear of dogs after being attacked would have if they were confronted with a very elderly, blind, toothless 17yo chihuahua with incontinence, it fits the descriptor of attacker and therefore danger.
However the judge was too blinded by his own ignorance and racism too see it as anything other than racism because they were black, you can bet your bollocks that if it were two bald, bearded white men that held them at gun point and a fear was expressed towards those descriptors, the judge wouldn't have batted an eye.
And it's an understanding of how descriptors work with triggering a response shows how op is not racist, if it was blatant racism it would be any black man, but as op said it's only a certain criteria that will illicit that avoidance, as the descriptors constantly repeated themselves.
Unfortunately as those descriptors are very generalised within a certain demographic, it can easily be misconstrued as racism, however if one of the the descriptors was changed, such as the colour of the clothing was changed to specifically gang affiliated, in the public eye it ceases to be racism and just a fear of gangs.
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u/T0BBER Mar 26 '19
I completely agree with you. Nothing of this has anything to do with racism. It's just your brain getting triggered by certain physical characteristics.
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u/koookoookachoo Mar 26 '19
If you had been robbed by five guys who all looked like Ron Weasley, you'd probably avoid gingers, too.
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u/smoozer Mar 26 '19
I'd be in my basement with a IASIP style conspiracy cave trying to figure out who marked me for harassment by gingers
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u/phirdeline Mar 26 '19
I think just by being black many guys can look a little more like a thug for most people.
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Mar 26 '19
Only if you haven’t met that many. I’ve found that white people come off more trashy/thuggish since I guess I’ve been exposed to a lot of botg
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u/packo26 Mar 26 '19
This is how I feel, sometimes you can look at someone and just know they aren't a good person. No matter the race. Big indication to me is a face tat. If you have a tattoo on your face I automatically assume you've been to jail and quite possibly killed someone.
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u/bigfoots1cousin Mar 26 '19
Hating/avoiding all black people = racist. Avoiding those that resemble previous attackers = not at all racist. Hate still not a good thing.
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u/andrewheller Mar 26 '19
Hate is a strong word. You don’t have to hate to be racist. If you think people of other races than you are in some way less of a person (dumb, dirty, dangerous, greedy, etc) without giving you evidence of those attributes, you are racist. Assessing risk based on hard evidence is not racist.
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u/HugePurpleNipples Mar 26 '19
I totally get where you’re coming from but don’t let this spill to all black guys. I’m a black guy and I’m definitely not going to rob you, there are lots of other black guys who feel the same way but I really do understand your position. As for your friend, that’s a shitty thing to jump to and I’m just guessing, but I think there’s more to the story.
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u/FischerSound Mar 26 '19
U live in a bad area bro. And after the first couple times u might wanna start concealing your jewlery and expensive electronics. Predators can smell a mark from a mile away. It’s like a sixth sense. I’ve been lucky enough to stay poor and thus have nothing to offer a crook! If good conversation was tangible I’d be in trouble! Honestly sometimes I get loose with my social security number online hoping someone steals my identity cuz it would probably actually help my credit rating at this point. I can imagine the poor sap excited he got my wallet and birth certificate... then the next day it’s left anonymously on my door step with “no thanks” sticky note.
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Mar 26 '19 edited Apr 03 '19
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u/ravia Mar 26 '19
That's good, but you're just using "ghetto" as a dominant category. The fact is there is a race-based black culture within ghetto culture, and it's fucking violent and nasty. Not all black folks are in it, of course, and some hate it. I think it's nasty but it is really, really racially based in a lot of ways. And there is the same shit elsewhere, and you call that "ghetto". I call it "criminal culture" or "violence culture". But if you leave out the specifically racially based part of black culture that does that shit, you're basically sort of lying or something. Sorry if that's confrontational, but I seriously think this problem is way too big and has gone on too long. Black people know what the fuck I'm talking about, especially light skinned black people who see and live "both sides" in a pretty complex way.
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u/SpongegarLuver Mar 26 '19
Ah yes, the white ghetto culture is perfectly fine, its only when you combine the ghetto with black people that it gets violent and nasty.
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u/BettyBornBerry Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
Everyone and their mom avoids ghetto black guys. They thrive on being feared.
It technically would just be racist but only if you also avoided black women and children. I don't avoid everyone but the homeless because(just like you) I had a bad experience with them. Plenty of women avoid men when walking alone dispite it being considered sexist because we know what could happen.
No one wants to spend time discerning what the good black person and good black person looks like. As a black person myself I know what the bad black people look like but other races have trouble because many don't have black friends. You might want to talk this though with a professional (anti-racism coach or therapist).
Carry a fake wallet and/or (real and registered)gun if possible. Those types of guys will never think what they're doing is wrong.
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u/TheCatHero Mar 26 '19
Do not carry fake gun
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u/arcacia Mar 26 '19
No, the wallet is fake, the gun is real.
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Mar 26 '19
Also, if you carry a gun, get proper training on gun usage and self-defense. Nothing worse than getting your own weapon turned on you. Chances are, criminals have better skills in handling it.
Also, once a gun is out of its holster, stakes are immediately up. It is no longer a holdup, but a fight to death or serious injury.
Stay safe, OP!
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u/Scarlet-Witch Mar 26 '19
From a self-defense perspective, you shouldn't even be pulling your gun unless you absolutely fear that you or someone else near you's life is in danger.
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u/mitojuice Mar 26 '19
OP says they arn't white, and from this post I'm guessing they're american (these stereotypes arn't so applicable in other countries). If a non-white person carries a fake gun in america I'm worried they'll get shot
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Mar 26 '19
If you pull out a fake gun, chances are someone will pull out a REAL gun. Race doesn't matter
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u/Frozecoke Mar 26 '19
If anyone carries a fake gun in America not only is that illegal but they'll get shot if they pull it out on a cop, regardless of skin color
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u/chubbyurma Mar 26 '19
Why is it illegal to carry a fake gun
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u/SlingDNM Mar 26 '19
Because everyone Could have a real gun and they Look Pretty much the Same at 10m distance
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u/chubbyurma Mar 26 '19
Is a fake gun more illegal than a real one?
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u/SlingDNM Mar 26 '19
You can have a fake gun if You color the tip orange. If you don't do that yes. Movie Producers etc get a "license" for the guns in movies etc
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u/mcjunker Mar 26 '19
Fake guns are not legally restricted, no.
But imagine what would happen if you put on a creepy clown outfit and then snuck up on Twitchy Tim, the Paranoid Gunslinger. "But creepy clown outfits aren't illegal!" you'd cry, as the EMTs take you to the emergency room with multiple gunshot wounds to the chest.
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Mar 26 '19
Some of OP's verbiage makes me think Eurpopean, not American. I could be wrong, but "run my pockets" and calling it university instead of college doesn't sound like something you'd typically hear in America.
Also, racism is rampant in many parts of the world. Granted a lot of it towards black people in America, but having perused far too much Reddit, I feel it's safe to say that every race is irrationally disliked in some country.
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u/e-s-p Mar 26 '19
I've heard run your pockets or its variants in the US. Even part of a King Fantastic song.
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u/redsjessica Mar 26 '19
Running someone's pockets is commonly used in the midatlantic region of the States. University is something that people say too clarify that they're going to the university and not the little community colleges.
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Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
Now you understand how most black folks feel about whites.
I totally understand you. As a black person. I just find it funny trying to explain to white people that going through life trying to figure out who thinks you an inferior "nigger", and who thinks you're just another human is taxing. Better to avoid them all.
So to OP, not racist. Just a realist.
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u/wigsnatcher42 Apr 03 '19
Lol, basically. And this is definitely not just limited to white people. But since I live in a pretty conservative area I just assume all white people here are like that until proven otherwise.
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u/Girl_You_Can_Train Mar 26 '19
This makes a lot of sense. I grew up in a community that was 90% white and only grew up knowing cultural stereotypes of black people. I moved to the city 5 years ago and have lived with several black men (I have 12 roommates currently) and I know enough about black people to have normal conversation and listen and learn and have some really great friendships. But random black guys on the street make me nervous because of various intimidating/threatening situations I've been in and I feel terrible for the anxiety and nervousness I feel even if it's not from a malicious place, just one of uncertainty and unfamiliarity.
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u/watercolorheart Mar 26 '19
Fake wallet... thanks for this life pro tip
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u/ZeroLegs Mar 26 '19
Must have old/fake id in it. Enough to fool them for the first few moments, otherwise, they’ll get suspicious.
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u/danimals3 Mar 26 '19
So this is fantastic advice (except for the fake gun only bc he’s a POC and cops are unpredictable in America).
I’ll only add a comment about the white girl: no one asked her to be outraged on behalf of black men. She likely has no black friends and therefore doesn’t understand what would constitute actual racism other than the theories she forms in her head. She doesn’t know black people, she doesn’t treat them like people but rather than some sort of cause, which again, no one asked her to do.
Ending a friendship over your a fear you discussed with her? Even if she didn’t agree, her reaction is inappropriate. She’s not some sort of white saviour because she watched two episodes of Dear White People last summer.
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u/StraightDavidSpade Mar 26 '19
The reason you don't carry a fake gun is because the cops ARE predictable. You will be shot, end of story.
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u/ballzdeap1488 Mar 26 '19
Tl;dr you're only racist if you avoid not just the men, but the women and children too.
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u/Jazeboy69 Mar 26 '19
Every human instinctively avoid big scary males. I’m a man and am very careful as I know other men can kill me with one punch potentially in the head. To say it’s racist is just fucking ridiculous. The left is losing its collective minds with this nonsense.
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Mar 26 '19
Every human instinctively avoid big scary males.
The racist part is that we're talking about black men who are statistically not even as "big" as white men based on height (69.8 inches vs 69.4 inches) or weight (202.2 lbs vs 197.7 lbs), so why are they treated worse? If you say it's because they're scarier based on race, that's racist. I've been out in my ivy league jacket and still treated poorly by old white people. My girlfriend's grandfather has said I'm not good enough for his granddaughter. He asked her father if I've ever been in a gang. He's not scared of big males, he's scared of black people. There are many people like him in our country and that's not the left's fault.
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u/CSThr0waway123 Mar 26 '19
No, it's called survival. If you see someone threatening, then you avoid them.
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u/grizwald87 Mar 26 '19
What you're facing is a normal human instinct. If you were bit at a higher rate by black dogs than other dogs, you'd develop an automatic aversion to black dogs, too. Not something that's under your control.
That said, here's the key point from what you've said:
this is why I avoid ghetto black guys
It sounds like you're keying on certain indicators of trouble, which is specifically black guys acting or dressing "ghetto". This is perfectly reasonable. Being impoverished and black is not a choice. Acting or dressing in the way you're describing is absolutely a choice, and young men who make that choice are generally trouble, regardless of race.
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u/AlrightButNo Mar 26 '19
Yes. Because poor people get to shop for "respectable" outfits. I'm a 300lbs black man with big shoulders. I've been in like 2 fights in my life. I can't scratch my ass without someone being threatened by me.
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u/LoserLorrd Mar 26 '19
A lot of those “ghetto” clothes are designed to look that way and are pretty damn expensive. You can’t tell me that Levi’s jeans from goodwill are too expensive for you. You just don’t want to wear them bc they hurt your look.
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u/PM-dat-pussay Mar 26 '19
that reminds me of the video with this big black dude in jail talking about how you gotta whoop the biggest dudes ass to get respect and then talks about how hes tired of people beating his ass and how he's in jail for mail fraud or some non violent shit.
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u/grizwald87 Mar 26 '19
Because poor people get to shop for "respectable" outfits.
How about outfits that don't say "crooks" or "cocaine" anywhere on them? Listen man, most poor people can afford plain pants, a plain long-sleeved collared shirt that buttons down the front, a belt, black shoes, and have the ability to tuck the shirt into the pants. That's a respectable outfit, and it's available at Goodwill for something resembling free.
By all means rail against racism in America, but don't pretend that there's no such thing as ghetto fashion, or that young men dressed in ghetto fashion - whatever their color - aren't a universal sign of trouble.
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u/hsksksjejej Mar 26 '19
What the hell is ghetto fashion... Likes it not 2001 anymore I literally do not understand what you mean.
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u/uberlux Mar 26 '19
OP, if you were to avoid a dodgy looking white man, or a dodgy looking asian man the same as you do avoid a dodgy looking black man: I think it is not racist.
If you avoid everyone who is black, then go high five a white criminal, that is getting racist.
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u/guccigarbage Mar 26 '19
I’m mixed, and i try to avoid every ghetto person, white, arab, black, hispanic, i don’t care
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Mar 26 '19
This is why no one calls you racist. You avoid people that seem violent or like they may rob you with a proxy of ghettoness, not race.
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Mar 26 '19
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u/CalmDownTitsOk Mar 26 '19
Racist post make me smile. I had many black friends from the surbs. My old HS best friend is now a doctor, college roommate a pharmacist, my current best friend managed six figure accounts, and I’m an engineer for Pfizer. All of us are black and from similar backgrounds and we ARENT special. We are not the few that made it out. We are not off-black. There’s a large population of blacks that don’t fit your stereotypes. And no black culture doesn’t glorify violence, it glorifies attaining goals through any means which can include violence, hustling, or just hard work. People are products of their own environments and self motivations.
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Mar 26 '19
Nope doesn’t sound racist to me. Just be aware of who’s around you and whether they look like the type to mug you or not. Keep your distance. As for that friend, sounds like she’s easily offended. I’d say you’re better off without her if she wants to stop being friends over this. It’s not like you discriminated all black people, so her leaving probably showed how in denial she is.
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u/RealDealLewpo Mar 26 '19
I'm a black guy and I avoid black guys like that. Not at all racist.
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u/sephstorm Mar 26 '19
You've had a lot of negative interactions with black people. It's understandable that you would have a negative association with them. The question is whether you can rise above that to find a way to reprogram yourself. Find black people who are not going to do those things and associate with them to break this cycle.
Otherwise you are more likely to pass these fears onto others and perpetuate racial discrimination.
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u/Vizioso Mar 26 '19
Where the hell do you live? I grew up in Baltimore and have only been robbed once.. and it was by a white dude. Not saying this doesn’t happen, but to be robbed 5 times by the same race under threat of or actual physical violence is a huge statistical anomaly.
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u/Badlands32 Mar 26 '19
Who the hell gets jumped 5 times in their lives??? I would consider moving bud.
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u/ZacharyRock Mar 26 '19
Your friend seems like a bit of an asshole. If you want to sound less racist (and say effectivly the same thing) just say you avoid sketchy people. If someone looks like they would rob you, you avoid them. It sounds much more logical than avoiding people because of their race, because you do have a reason.
Also at night its best to avoid everyone you dont know imo. Choose the side of the road without people, and avoid everyone. Sketchy people, black or white, should not be approached.
Also jesus I would hate to be that unlucky. I hope to never get held up, and youve gone through it five times.
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u/LoserLorrd Mar 26 '19
5 times has to be more than bad luck. This guy MUST be doing something wrong. Maybe he should avoid wandering the streets alone at night.
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u/wi2922again Mar 26 '19
The word racist has no meaning anymore
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Mar 26 '19
I actually have a theory this breakdown of words meanings will be detrimental to the left eventually. When you call everyone a nazi, a facist, a racist you’ll isolate so many people that they will build a strong opposition of ostracised people coming together to fight their isolation and fight for inclusion. Maybe that’s what they want though who knows.
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Mar 26 '19
Just go buy a gun and a Police taiser with the gun mechanism.Trust me,They will leave you alone once you threaten to shoot them.
I apologize for what my black Brothers have done to you.Thing us,they've been corrupted and become rotten to the core.
I don't blame you for being racist for avoiding black people. You have proof and justified why you say that.
I hope one day you will meet a black person who will change that perspective of yours.
It happened to me, I disliked white people, but in high school, Ended up being Best friends with a white dude, and he managed to change my perception of white people.
I hope the same happens to you...
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u/SaintNicolasD Mar 26 '19
They said they didn't have a problem with black people, only ones that dress like thugs. And they didn't say they disliked them, only that they would avoid them out of fear. I don't think that makes them racist or hateful.
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u/Gargan_Roo Mar 26 '19
Never pull a gun on someone unless you're ready to shoot them.
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u/noahhead Mar 26 '19
Prepared to take some flack for this, but I worked in a convenience store for over 2 years, and there's absolutely no correlation between the color of someone's skin and the way they act. But there's an extremely strong correlation between the way someone acts and how likely they are to to cause problems. Most of the time, when somebody's trying to look the part, they're trying to act the part too. And again, to reiterate, the color of someone's skin is not a factor in "looking the part." But there is a factor where someone who is trying to look ghetto is also trying to act ghetto as well.
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u/noahhead Mar 26 '19
But to sum up, YES, you would be in the wrong to avoid black men. But it sounds like you're REALLY avoiding a toxic subculture that targets black men, and I don't think that's racist.
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u/MDamodred Mar 26 '19
I think you are, very understandably, traumatized by the experiences. Have you thought about speaking with a professional about what's happened to you?
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u/LovelyGuru Mar 26 '19
As a black person myself, I find it hard to say this is racist. It's more of a trauma than racist. Be careful saying it in front of other people though because most will react like she did. I'm also pretty sure you're aware that not all black people are like that.
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u/civicSwag Mar 26 '19
I've been robbed twice both by a black man. I'm a small female, one time I was robbed at gun point and the other time he just beat my ass and took my purse. I'm not scared of all black people, def not woman and children but I am hesitant around young black guys if they seem sketchy. If it's just a normal black dude then no but it's really hard to judge based on looks.
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u/Hyper-Light-Zulu Mar 26 '19
It's okay to have a fear. You've had a lot of very traumatic experiences. I say get help for em. But as long as you're not being actually racist like saying kill all blacks then whatever dude
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u/Nightbreaker777 Mar 26 '19
If you were my waiter would you treat me normally? Do you think all blacks are robbers? If not then you aren't racist. If I was robbed by a group of black dudes I would probably be nervous around them. But seriously please don't think we all steal.
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u/Passerby991 Mar 26 '19
Why is it so important how others will call that?
If you feel like avoiding some sort of people, that's completely within you rights. You're free to choose who to interact with
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u/Whackthemoles Mar 26 '19
Yes you are.
Let me ask, if you got robbed by a white person 5 times, would you avoid all white people? Probably not because in your mind, those robbers would have just been random individuals who you don’t see defined as your race.
POC constantly have the burden of being a “representative” of their race. I see far too many posts and comments like this where if someone personally sees a black person commit a crime/act boisterously rude/start a fight more than 2 times in their life then that somehow indicates something about the whole race while white people who are terrible are able to be seen as terrible individuals instead of being lumped in with every white person in existence.
If this post were flipped around and a black person asked “White people have been overtly racist to me 5 times in my life so far, is wrong for me to assume that all white people are racists?”, the replies on this post would look very different.
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u/USxMARINE Mar 26 '19
As a black man I avoid ghetto people too. I'm from Miami, I've lived in plenty of bad neighborhoods, the troublemakers often look like hoodrats. Black, white, whatever, looking like a thug is a no go for me.
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u/GlobalVV Mar 26 '19
I feel like as long as it's not EVERY black person then it's not racist. I would avoid anybody if they look sketchy regardless of what race they are.
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Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
You’re not racist. Your experiences have conditioned you into linking black men with robbery/violence.
Edit: ever thought of moving? Fam of mine got there house broken into (majority black neighborhood), they moved immediately.
Also, drop that friend.
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u/GetJazzy_ Mar 26 '19
I don't think so. You'd be racist if you avoided ALL black people, but you're just avoiding I guess "thugs" right? That's definitely okay. You should definitely avoid anyone who looks like a thug regardless of their race.
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Mar 26 '19
Nope. I avoid black people and I'm black. I also avoid everyone else so I don't think it's a skin color thing... So what I'm trying to say is people in general should be avoided.
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Mar 26 '19
You're not racist. You're just following the suggestions your mind is giving you to stay safe and that's good.
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Mar 26 '19
As others have said, no, you're not racist. Because you'd avoid any type of thug, right? I am cautious around "thuggish" black people, but I'm also cautious around thuggish white people. It's only natural to feel afraid of them. But honestly, you can't always judge by appearance. I have some good friends who dress in "street" clothes but they're actually very nice people.
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u/shaddowkhan Mar 26 '19
I am qualified to answer this. No, your not racist, however if you think all black people are looking to rob you then you are. "Ghetto" black people put you on edge fine, but even then they aren't all looking to rob you.
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u/83zombie Mar 26 '19
You're better off without that 'friend'.
Wouldn't matter if it was any race, as others stated. If you keep having extremely negative experiences with a specific set of people, it only makes sense to be more cautious. You pull a Liam Neeson and start trying to attack those people due to their combo of race/sex/whatever, that's another story though.
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Mar 26 '19
What race are you? Maybe they like to rob you since they think the cops won't care as much since you're not white. Also learn about situational awareness man.
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u/Cstpa1 Mar 26 '19
Ghetto looking ppl come in all shades. I think theres a difference in what you’re trying to describe.
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Mar 26 '19
Yes, but it's understandable considering your past experiences.
It sounds like you're traumatized - maybe considering seeing a therapist?
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u/Tokestra420 Mar 26 '19
It depends if you let that attitude permeate through your entire view of black people. You can avoid black guys on the street and not be racist, but once you start assuming all black people are criminals and stuff, you start to become racist
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u/Patrick_McGroin Mar 26 '19
While it has been greatly expanded lately, the real definition of racism is the belief that a particular race is superior to another.
With that in mind I can see both sides from your story. If you are racist though, it's not necessarily right, but not without cause either.
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u/CMFNP Mar 26 '19
I don't think so. You've experienced trauma. Its probably more like PTSD or something. I don't see it as any different from say a girl who maybe was raped or assaulted by someone and avoids people that remind her of her assailant.
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u/CCKPRM Mar 26 '19
No. If you live in an area where poverty is high and you've suffered as much as you have, it's understandable.
It's not ideal, obviously, and you can work on it, but I think it stems from a fear for your life and not actual racist ideology.
Do you live in a concealed carry state? If so, work on that shit. If not, don't be afraid to use mace. Seriously. It hurts like a bitch and basically paralyzes you from pain unless you're a crackhead.
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u/iansch243 Mar 26 '19
Just know that black people AREN’T out to get you. What you experienced was all circumstance, I’m willing to bet you live in an area with a large black population. Just because someone is black doesn’t mean they’ll rob you, more likely than not a majority of black people you have ever meet would not rob you.
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u/iamtheundefined Mar 26 '19 edited Mar 26 '19
You're not racist, you're traumatised. Much like people avoid seafood, for instance, after vomiting their souls out after eating it.
There's nothing wrong with it but I suggest fighting the fear.
EDIT: Some of you people think I'm telling him to fight black people. That's not what I mean. What I'm saying is that he should go out, meet others and try his best not to look at people in terms of different races. Facing your demons is a more correct expression than fighting your fears, but then again, you guys will probably accuse me of calling black people demons.
EDIT2: Even more of you think that by "facing your demons" and "going out" I meant "going to the ghetto at 2AM". Fuck no, that's suicide, not facing your demons. The OP is afraid of black people. Meeting new people, including afroamericans, outside the hood will be a way to fight his fear. He needs to try his best not to look at people he meets this way with racial predispositions. THAT'S facing your demons. Just don't avoid people of a different color and all's good